Anon and Lyra are menaces in this one


                                            //Author's note: for thread 37298142, written 7/24/24

                                            Alright, story two, GO GO GO

                                            "Yeah, and then she said 'no you can't put that in there', so I said 'can't I?' and it turned out when you do that it makes mustard gas. Who knew?"

                                            >You look at Lyra, sat on the couch opposite from you.

                                            >She slowly blinks and looks over at you.

                                            >"Duuude, that reminds me of that one time I was with BonBon and we were..."

                                            >Lyra stops talking as she moves to rest her head on one of the arms of her couch.

                                            >"What was I saying?"

                                            >You watch as the wall behind her tries to fold in on itself.

                                            /knock knock/

                                            "Oh, that's probably Fluttershy. Again."

                                            /knock knock/

                                            /knock knock/

                                            >Lyra looks back at you.

                                            /knock knock/

                                            /knockknockknockknock

                                            >"Anon, can you turn that off?"

                                            knockknockknockknockknock/

                                            "Yeah one second, I have a funny idea"

                                            >You go over and open the door.

                                            >You barely register Fluttershy's hoofsie hitting your knee as her knocking is interrupted.

                                            >You look up at the sky fractals before looking at Fluttershy.

                                            "Oh sorry, were you using this?"

                                            >You point to the door.

                                            "I can put it back closed if you want."

                                            >"Oh, no I wasn't. It's fine. But, uh, Anon, I was wondering if your fetish was ecclesiology?"

                                            >Fluttershy is dressed in a pope costume and holding a book.

                                            >You kneel down to look the pony in the eye.

                                            "Fluttershy, I have no idea what the fuck that means."

                                            >You stand up with a pony under your arm.

                                            >Walking back into the room, you place Fluttershy in the middle of the two couches.

                                            >Lyra smiles and dopily waves.

                                            >You speak.

                                            "Hey Fluttershy"

                                            >"Yes!"

                                            "I'll give you a kiss if you take a rip of this bong"

                                            >"Of what?"

                                            >Fluttershy is poking the bong with a hoof.

                                            "No look Fluttershy, like this."

                                            >You take a fatty hit and blow the smoke into Fluttershy's face.

                                            "Here, I'll light it for you, I know all about how you have stupid pony hooves and not sexy human fingers."

                                            /click/

                                            "Just breathe as deep as you can, for as long as you can."

                                            /bubble/

                                            /fooooooo/

                                            "Yeahyuh that's it"

                                            /hack hack cough/

                                            "Yo Lyra, look"

                                            >Lyra is already looking at Fluttershy, and her mouth is hanging half open.

                                            >"nooooo flutterrshyyyy don't hit it, it's way too strong for you."

                                            "Lyra. Dude. That's the point."

                                            >Lyra stares at you, mouth agape.

                                            >...

                                            >...

                                            >Fluttershy is still coughing out a lung.

                                            >"Ohh now I get it. That's pretty funny man."

                                            "Yeah, I know."

                                            >Seconds later.

                                            "Alright, Fluttershy, your coughing is starting to annoy me, chill out."

                                            >You walk over to Fluttershy and hit her between the shoulder blades.

                                            >Her coughing stops.

                                            "Go get a glass of water and come back here, you know the way around?"

                                            >"Yeah, I've been here a -cough lot before."

                                            "Go get em', cowboy."

                                            >You sit on the couch as she patters away.

                                            >Second to minutes later, you hear glass break. Many times.

                                            >...

                                            >...

                                            >Fluttershy walks in.

                                            >Lyra looks over.

                                            >"Ohh hey Fluttershy, when did you get here?"

                                            >"Oh, I've been here for about..."

                                            >A look of concern comes across her face.

                                            >"An hour?"

                                            >You pick Fluttershy up and hold her in front of you.

                                            "Fluttershy, it's been ten minutes, and I haven't even given you the best part yet."

                                            >You set her on the couch.

                                            "I forgot how extremely lightweight you ponies are."

                                            >Fluttershy is staring at the ceiling nodding.

                                            "Look at my disciple Lyra, though. She has tolerance like a boss."

                                            >At her name, Lyra looks over from her contemplations.

                                            >Fluttershy is staring vacantly in front of her.

                                            >Lyra speaks

                                            >"Wait, what did you say about me?"

                                            >You check your imaginary watch.

                                            >Yeah, it's time.

                                            >You reach into your stash bag and pull out a vial of glittery purple liquid.

                                            "Yo flutters, catch."

                                            >She looks over as the vial shatters on the wall behind her.

                                            >You get out another and hand it to her.

                                            >Zecora's a great plug, you get this shit for dirt cheap.

                                            "Alright, drink up Flutters."

                                            >She looks up at you with those big pony eyes.

                                            >"Will this help with my nausea? I think I might be allergic to smoke and that maybe you accidentally gave me poison and-"

                                            "Fluttershy, you're not poisoned. But yes, this is the antidote. Drink it."

                                            >She chugs the vial.

                                            "Good girl. Anyway, you're about to get really high. So just be cool."

                                            >"Anon, c-can I get my kiss now?"

                                            "Oh I was just fucking with you about that. No way am I gonna kiss you. It would be like kissing your pet dog, mega gay."

                                            >"But you promised!"

                                            "I didn't promise you shit, fag. Scroll up and check."

                                            >"B-but..."

                                            >"Anon, how are you shaking your face like that?"

                                            "Yo Lyra, check it, Fluttershy's tripping."

                                            >You turn to Fluttershy.

                                            "Look Fluttershy, I'll give you your kiss after this is done, okay?"

                                            >You're lying, but you figure she'll be more funny if she's not just freaking out the entire time.

                                            >"Really?"

                                            "Yeah, really."

                                            >Fluttershy tears up and hugs you.

                                            >"I love you, Anon."

                                            >"Wait, Anon, Fluttershy's tripping?"

                                            "Haha yeah dude it's kicking in for her."

                                            >Fluttershy is making eye contact.

                                            >"Anon, you're so handsome. Have I ever told you that I think you're handsome? You're just... handsome. And really glittery."

                                            >Fluttershy hugs you tighter and pushes her snout into your side, inhaling.

                                            "Lyre, we should do that thing we do."

                                            >"Which thing? The one with my ponu-"

                                            "No, the thing with your Lyra?"

                                            >"Ohhh that thing, I know that thing."

                                            >Lyra's harp thing floats up from the floor.

                                            "Fluttershy check this out."

                                            >Lyra starts jamming out.

                                            >C. G. Am. F.

                                            >You lay down the beatbox.

                                            >After you're fully in the groove, you give a pointed look to Fluttershy.

                                            >She is completely out of it, but after a minute she notices.

                                            >She glances over both shoulders and then points at herself.

                                            >You nod.

                                            >Fluttershy cuts in with the vocals.

                                            >The sounds feel like a blanket against your skin.

                                            >The vibrations filling the room are so dense and comforting.

                                            >The carpet is re-arranging itself.

                                            >You're floating out of your body.

                                            >Maybe seconds, maybe hours later the three of you are finished.

                                            >Lyra continues idly plucking strings.

                                            >You watch her.

                                            >Feeling a sensation on your leg, you look down and watch as Fluttershy begins trying to unzip your pants.

                                            >She notices and gets distracted by her own hoof.

                                            "Hey, Fluttershy."

                                            >You ask something you've wanted to ask since you arrived in Equestria.

                                            >Your secret desire.

                                            >To fly like Perseus on his steed.

                                            "Can I get on your back, and ride you?"

                                            >Her eyes go wide and she blushes.

                                            >"You would really do that w-with me?"

                                            >God damn horses and their strange fetishes.

                                            >You'd only just learned wearing socks was indecent.

                                            "Yea."

                                            >Fluttershy goes to the middle of the room and kneels down.

                                            >As you approach you notice her tail is raised, her vagina is spread, and her clitoris is going in and out.

                                            >It's fucking disgusting, it makes you want to vomit.

                                            >You ignore it, and hop on top of her.

                                            >She can barely stand under the weight.

                                            >Lyra has a look of disgust on her face.

                                            >"You guys are grossing me out, but I kind of like it."

                                            >..

                                            "Hey Lyra, come 'ere."

                                            >"No way fag."

                                            "Seriously Lyra, come 'ere"

                                            >"I'm not going over there."

                                            "C'moooon Lyra. Just come 'ere for a second. One second."

                                            >"Ughhhhhhh. fine."

                                            >Lyra falls face first off the couch.

                                            >A minute later she stands up and trots over.

                                            >You seize the opportunity to grab her.

                                            >You lift her and force her on top of your shoulders.

                                            >"Anoooonnnn, you better buy me oats for this."

                                            >As Lyra speaks, Fluttershy's legs give out and she slams to the floor.

                                            >She's panting heavily, both from exhaustion and sexual frustration.

                                            >You guess the weight was just too much for the old girl.

                                            >You'll have to put her down, buy a new one.

                                            >No room for slack on the farm.

                                            "Lyra, psychokinesis my bag to you and get the whipped cream."

                                            >She does as you requested.

                                            "Alright now dude, trust me and just blast that shit straight into my mouth."

                                            /psshhhhhttttt/

                                            >You hear the door open.

                                            >Facing away from it, you don't know who entered.

                                            >"Oh my god. Anon?"

                                            >You turn your head, causing Lyra to start spilling whipped cream everywhere.

                                            "Yo Twilight! What's up zigga?"

                                            >"Anon you fucking stoner, get out of my house. How'd you even get in? I fortified the entire fucking house.

                                            >You point towards the circular hole in the floorboards, and the dirt tunnel that leads to it.

                                            >Lyra is having fun squirting the whipped cream into the air.

                                            >"Y'know what? I DON'T CARE. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, RIGHT FUCKING NOW."

                                            >You've now fallen off of Fluttershy and are lying on the floor, posing.

                                            >As Lyra fell off of you, she had landed and took down a small table and a vase.

                                            "Look Twilight, everything is fine, you just gotta chill out."

                                            >Fluttershy is quietly moaning.

                                            >"ANON, IT'S NOT FINE. NOTHING IS FUCKING FINE. WHEN I COME HOME, TO MY HOUSE. I DO NOT WANT TO SEE ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS WINKING AT ME. I DO NOT WANT TO SEE THREE UNINVITED PEOPLE IN A FETISH POSE. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE TO WONDER HOW YOU FUCKING SQUATTERS GOT TWO COUCHES INTO MY HOUSE."

                                            >As Twilight screams, Fluttershy moans and squirts squash soup all over the floor.

                                            >"THAT'S IT, THAT'S THE LAST FUCKING STRAW."

                                            >Twilight concentrates as hard as she can, lifts the three of you, and ejects you onto the street.

                                            >You quickly stand up as Fluttershy tugs on your pant leg.

                                            >Her face is an expression of satisfaction.

                                            >"Anon, can I get that kiss now?"

                                            "No."

                                            >Lyra is lyraing on her back staring directly into the sun.

                                            >You hear a scream from Twilight's house.

                                            >"WHY IS EVERY SINGLE ONE OF MY FUCKING CUPS BROKEN?"