[NSFW] Floor Bored gets a date


                                            >Be Floor Bored, still shivering.

                                            >You never did this before, but now you have a day off, and your coworkers gave you a phone number.

                                            >This service brings stallions to needy mares like yourself for really accesible prices.

                                            >You went to the bathroom to relieve yourself, but it didn't stop the shivers. The idea of finally being with a colt has worked you up badly.

                                            >Maybe another one? No Floor, the smell will stay forever, and you can barely cost a hotel room. Better do it now before everything goes to bleach.

                                            >*Bip-Bip-Bip-Bip...... Biiiiiiiiiip"

                                            >The phone is ringing, waiting to be picked up.

                                            >".... *Click* Hello, welcome to Somepony to Share, how can I help you?"

                                            "Hi... is this the... dating service?"

                                            >"Yes it is, is your first time calling us?"

                                            "Yes, I never did this before."

                                            >"Don't worry miss, we are proffesionals. In fact, we are having a special discount for first time clients. Would you like it? It's our best man at commodity prices."

                                            "Y-your best?!"

                                            >"That's right. Exotic, attentive, and really interesting. For not saying he always makes a presence in the room."

                                            >The shivers are coming back!

                                            "YESYESYES, I WANT HIM!"

                                            >"Wohoho, calm down miss, I'll get him just for you. Could you give me your card info please?"

                                            >A few bits of processing later, the service is hired.

                                            >"Done. Would you like to make a date to find him?"

                                            "Hum... can it be my house? I know it's impractical, but..."

                                            >"Is alright miss, we understand. Please give me your address."

                                            "Ponyville projects, 301."

                                            >"Done. Your man will go tomorrow at 6 PM. We hope you two have a wonderful night."

                                            "Don't worry, we will. Thanks."

                                            >The moment you hang up, you grab all your toys, lock all the doors, and flick it until you pass out, dreaming what your dream colt will do to you.

                                            >Tomorrow.


                                            >Next day comes, and you were preparing your house for the "date".

                                            >You opened the blinds and windows. The neighbours complained about the smell for a couple of hours.

                                            >You braved it, and took a shower.

                                            >Finally, you found the best lingerie you could: black panties and a pink top.

                                            >Is 6 PM, and you are laying on your matress seductively. You couldn't do much, you only flip it so he can't see the food and pussy stains.

                                            >*Knock Knock Knock*

                                            >Is time.

                                            "Come in! Is open!"

                                            >You hear the doorknob turn, and the door unlocking.

                                            >The hinge of the door rises your heartbeat.

                                            >The steps freeze your breath.

                                            >Is he a Earth stallion of Germaneigh? A Pegasu surfer of Mareti? A pure blood Unicorn of Canterlot? A zebra of the west? A dragon of the badlands? A changeling of the hive?

                                            >When he opens the door, your expectations were blown away.

                                            >"Miss Floor? I am Anonymous, your date for tonight."

                                            >A human. They appeared a few years ago, but they truly did an impact in the pony community. Especially with the mare population.

                                            >Their size is smaller and thinner than a stallion, but their knowledge of mare genitalia, for not saying nothing to their endurance, makes them look like if the sex gods have blessed Equus.

                                            >And today, you must have earned the grace of one to be with one.

                                            >"Well, are you ready for our date?"

                                            >You turn, and spread your legs.

                                            "YES! TAKE ME! RAVISH ME! I'M ALL YOURS!!!"

                                            >He stays dumbfounded, looking at your (already leaking) mare bits.

                                            >"Uhhh.... miss, I don't know what you were expecting, but my services aren't the ones of a taxi boy. I'm only an escort."

                                            "Yes! A sex escort! Fuck me!"

                                            >"Ehhh, wait here."

                                            >He leaves the room, and you only sit on your bed. Did you did something wrong? Isn't this his work?"

                                            >".... Yeah, is me.... no, she got it wrong, she believes I was here to bed her.... that was then, this is now. I won't do it, I'm only an escort.... yeah, I'll pass you."

                                            >He goes inside your room.

                                            >"My boss wants to talk with you."

                                            >You take the cellphone.


                                            "Hello?"

                                            >"Miss, did you called us thinking we are a sex date service?"

                                            "Aren't you? I just got the number from a friend, and she told me you "will give me what I need", as she said."

                                            >"No no, we are not a sex company. We are a escort dating service. We only send our men to mares who need a date for their social gatherings."

                                            "What?! But the lady made it sound like-"

                                            >"I'll talk with our assistant later, but I assure you, we don't send stallions to have sex with mares. We only give them a date, that's all."

                                            "Oh...."

                                            >"Would you like a refund? We understand if you are displeased with our services."

                                            >You look at the man who is waiting in the living.

                                            "No. You know what, I want a date. I won't have sex with him, but is a long time since I have been with a man. I want a date with him."

                                            >"If that's your choice, just be aware we won't refund you now if something isn't up to your tastes."

                                            "I'll take my chances."

                                            >The man behind the phone hangs up, and you go to anon to give him back his cellphone.

                                            >"Sorry if I brought any problems, I shall be leaving now."

                                            "No! Wait!... I talked with your boss, and I said that yes, is fine, We will have a date. I payed already, so may as well make the most of it."

                                            >"Oh, alrighty then. Any place would you like to go?"

                                            >Well, you weren't expecting to go someplace else. You were expecting to be left filled up a few hours later.

                                            >You take a good time deciding before answering.

                                            "I know it's nothing fancy, but would you like to go to the pizzeria around the corner?"

                                            >"If that's where you want to go."

                                            "Alright. I'll change and we will go there soon."

                                            >You close the door to your room, and start searching what could you wear.


                                            >Well, you couldn't find much, but it had to do.

                                            >You picked a sweater that wasn't too tousled, and went to the bathroom and combed your hair.

                                            >You were acceptable, to say the least. Sadly, it clashed badly with the human who was dressed in an all black suit.

                                            >Most ponies were looking at you, whispering about how the closed doors smelly girl managed to score a human. Ponyville truly is a place where everyone knows everyone.

                                            >You two arrive to Mozza's pizzeria, greasy big pizzas for only a few bits.

                                            >You go to the counter, and salute Mozza.

                                            >"Floor, bambina! What can Mozza Bits serve you?"

                                            "Hi Mozza, can it be a small cheese pizza with garlic breadsticks?"

                                            >"Sure, and the big fella here?"

                                            >>"Hmmm... a napolitan one."

                                            >"A what?"

                                            >>"Oh yeah. I meant marepolitan."

                                            >"Oh, buono. Let me work, I'll take it to your table, go sit."

                                            >You search for a free table, and find a booth next to windows. Good.

                                            >You two sit, and wait for the pizza.

                                            "So... having fun?"

                                            >"Yes, I have been craving pizza these days."

                                            "Great."

                                            >"..."

                                            "..."

                                            >"..."

                                            "..."

                                            >"..."

                                            "... So, anything you like to do?"

                                            >"Anything you wish."

                                            "Uh, right."

                                            >The rest of the waiting time passed quietly.


                                            >>"Two pizzas for the couple! Here."

                                            >Mozza serves you two your meal.

                                            "Thanks Mozza."

                                            >>"Cara mia, always a pleasure."

                                            >She goes back to the counter to take orders.

                                            "I really like the pizzas here. The crust is crunchy and she always uses lots of cheese."

                                            >"I can see that."

                                            >Anon takes a napkin and motions forward, trying to avoid stains on his suit.

                                            "Does it taste good?"

                                            >"Greasy, but is really good."

                                            "Glad you liked it."

                                            >The dinner resumes, but he remains quietly again. He didn't made any comments, he only ate his pizza politely. Always with a serious frown.

                                            >You two finish up, and remain seated.

                                            "Um, are you ok?"

                                            >"I am. Would you like a dessert?"

                                            "I don't have enough money."

                                            >"Well, let me pay it. Just order what you wish."

                                            "Really? I guess I want... chocolate cake. What would you like?"

                                            >"A shake is fine."

                                            "Alright. Mozza! A chocolate cake and a shake too please!"

                                            >Mozza comes back to your table with your sweets.

                                            >The desser is really sweet, it has been a long time since you had any cake.

                                            >You can't say much for your "date" though: he only sits quietly, drinking his shake.

                                            >Most ponies catched up, so everyone is looking right at him.

                                            "Do you wish to go?"

                                            >"If that's what you want."

                                            "No, it's, I though you were uncomfortable because everybody is looking at you."

                                            >"Was at first, but I got used to it. People in my world would be looking at a talking pony if it was the only one."

                                            "Ponies don't talk in your world?"

                                            >"No."

                                            "Oh."

                                            >You two finish your dessert, pay for the meal, and leave the pizzeria.

                                            "Ahh! That was really delicious!"

                                            >"It truly was."

                                            "So... anything else?"

                                            >"If you want to do something more, I'll do it. The date is over in a few hours."

                                            "Really? Uhhh.... how about a walk in the park?"

                                            >"Fine by me."

                                            "Alright, to the park!"


                                            >The walk around the park is completely uncomfortable.

                                            >You don't leave so much, so having tons of eyes on you is very scary.

                                            >Let alone you are walking with a mannequin.

                                            >Yes, mannequin. Anonymous doesn't talk, he only follows you with a serious frown on his face.

                                            >Also, he doesn't do anything unless you tell him: You though it would be romantic he pushed you on the swings, or a few laps on the small carousel, but he only followed you seeing you from a distance.

                                            >At the end, you asked for one big ice cream. You though he would like to share.

                                            >Nope, seeing from afar. And every "would you like some" is answered with "I'm fine".

                                            >You both reached the end of the park. You check your clock: 7:30 PM.

                                            >"Would you like anything else?"

                                            "You know what? Go home, I had enough."

                                            >"Are you sure? You still have one hour and half left."

                                            "I'm sure, go home."

                                            >He opens his jacket, and takes out a small survey and a pen.

                                            >"Could you please rate our services?"

                                            >Mediocre.

                                            "Here."

                                            >He takes some time looking at your notes.

                                            >You heard him mutter: "I shoul've known".

                                            "What?"

                                            >"Nothing, I didn't said anything."

                                            "Yes you did, I heard you."

                                            >"Must be your imagination miss, I'm-"

                                            "No, wait! Let me ask you: everybody in your company said you were the best, yet you were so cold. What's your job?"

                                            >"I'm only an escort."

                                            "If it's true, this was the worst date ever!"

                                            >"It's just that I never had a date like this..."

                                            >Huh?

                                            "What did you just said?"

                                            >Anonymous realizes, and tries to run.

                                            "Hey! Wait!"

                                            >You follow the weird hairless ape.


                                            >Well, your phisical abilities suck. Luckily, is hard to run with a suit too.

                                            >Both were quite tired. After all, you two gnawed pizza and candy 30 minutes ago. It hasn't set just yet.

                                            >Both of you recover on a bench.

                                            >"Uhh, was a long time since I ate something greasy. I liked it, but woah, never expected to hit me."

                                            "I'm happy I just caught up to you."

                                            >"...."

                                            "... What do you mean you never had a date like this one?"

                                            >"I usually get hired by gmilfs who need to sweeten their meetings. I'm more like a prop than a date."

                                            "Really?"

                                            >"Yes. Is all posh posh and "look at the funny monkey" while they drink champagne on ice. Cash was good, but the job is the most boring. When we had this date, I actually didn't knew what to do. I never got a date."

                                            >Wow, you are the first date of this human! Awesome!

                                            >Oh, wait, the date was crap. You screw it.

                                            >You feel awful now.

                                            "Sorry your first date was really bad."

                                            >"Are you kidding? I got to do something for a change. It was awesome! Sorry I looked like a doll, but I was really nervous, I felt I would say something stupid, or that I looked like a doofus. I did my best to not stand out, but I did anyway like always."

                                            "I know how you feel. I felt so stupid when you found me dressed so lewdly, and when we were eating I was scared you didn't liked it the pizza."

                                            >"It was the best, I missed eating greasy crusty pizza. And the shake was sweet."

                                            "Well, I'm happy you liked it."

                                            >"Thanks... Say, I know I'm dismissed, but since I have free time, want to hang out with me?"

                                            >OMC! The human is inviting you to a date!

                                            "YESYESYESYES! I WANT TO HANGOUT!"

                                            >"Hehe, good to see you so cheerie. Come on, let's go."

                                            >He helps you rise up, and you follow him to the place he will take you.


                                            "... A bar?"

                                            >Both of you are standing in front of a small business. A bit hidden.

                                            >"Don't worry, Is very roomy inside."

                                            >He opens the door, and lets you go inside first.

                                            >The place really was roomy for a place so hidden. The light is bright, and the seats look comfortable.

                                            >He points you to a small stool, and you sit on it.

                                            >A mare with a long black mane and a red long highlight comes close to you.

                                            >>"So, sweetie, what can I get ya?"

                                            "Umm... I don't... drink?"

                                            >"Sup Mary, just give her some juice. She is shy."

                                            >>"Ok."

                                            >The mare serves you a glass of orange juice, and goes to the back.

                                            "Mary?"

                                            >"Bloody Mary. Is an old friend, when I had my old job."

                                            "And what was your old job?"

                                            >"Heard about the "Stallion Rising" from a couple of years ago?"

                                            "Yeah."

                                            >"I was a part of that disaster. A lot of dudes were happy we reached Equestria, we started banging almost for free. I was happy I got paid, but trust me, we got drained quite fast. We may endure, but your lower muscles aren't to be understimated. We got really excited... and, to make things worst, stallions got mad."

                                            "So, how all of that translates to you knowing Mary?"

                                            >"She got her hoof up when the Stallion Rising happened. She was already a mare of the night, so she earned a lot from hurt colts. When things calmed down, she wanted to have a human, and she hired me for a night. I was spent that day, so we just sat down and talked for a while. She made me a couple of drinks, and I show her fingers can do more than just tickle them down there. She opened this bar and got me the gig as personal escort. I come here every weekend and vent off the parties."

                                            "Really? The parties suck that much?"

                                            >"Oh, where do I start?"


                                            >"Well, there was this time I was escorting this mare from Manehattan. Really fucking boring. I can't remember that day at all, I got so hammered so I couldn't feel anything."

                                            "And they didn't kicked you out of the party?"

                                            >"I can still work, I just lose a few senses. I lost my memory that day. Another one I lost my hearing, so I looked like a toddler, nodding my head up and down. And other time I lost my taste, so I ended up eating some mare's bouquet. I though it was another plate of salad."

                                            "Those parties sound really boring."

                                            >"They are. They only call me so they can show off they "know" a human, take a few pictures like I was in a zoo, and entertain the foals like if I'm some sort of clown. Trust me, a filly has things more intelligent to say than just useless gossiping."

                                            "I see."

                                            >"What about you? What are you doing in your life?"

                                            "You don't wanna know."

                                            >"Trust me, I do. This is probably the most interesting conversation I had ever since I started working as an escort."

                                            "Well, I was living with some friends, but I wanted to be more independent, so I found a job and a cheap appartment. But then I got carried away because there was this cute boy, and, well, you saw how needy I was."

                                            "I ain't judging."

                                            >He pats your head!

                                            >"I know is hard to meet new people. Back in my old world was like that."

                                            "Ehehehehehe!"

                                            >>"Mind more company?"

                                            >Mary comebacks with a bottle of wine.

                                            >>"Don't worry, is really soft both in the tummy and the tongue, so if you want a drink, you are welcome."

                                            "Oh, thanks."

                                            >And so a few hours pass talking about old stories, drinks, and memories.

                                            >Mary had really of funny stories with stallions who never were as good as they boasted, anon told the very quirky lifestyle of the rich, and you talked about your old friends who live around Equus.

                                            >When you realized what time it was, it was past 12.


                                            >Anon called a cab for you. He explained that if he took you home, he would be traveling all night since his house is at the other side of town.

                                            >You accepted. You wanted to let him stay at your home, but you realized that maybe sleeping on your crappy sofa wouldn't be too comfortable. Let alone your stained bed.

                                            >As you wait, you notice you got a bit tipsy. You don't remember exactly when the boose reached your lips.

                                            >Mary is just cleaning the glasses, and checking on you.

                                            >"You know, between us, this is the first time that monkey brought a mare with him."

                                            "Hmmm?"

                                            >"He usually drinks alone. Sometimes he brings his friends, but he drinks on his own. I was starting to think he was gay."

                                            "Really? But you said-"

                                            >"Most humans get tired of mares after a while, and then they jump to colts. Trust me, a lot of stallions got calmer when they discovered prostate stimulation. Humans are more like horny beings who just happened to land here."

                                            "Anon is like that?"

                                            >"Well, he sure treated me right, but he is a guy who needs a friend. And after today, I think that friend should be you."

                                            "You think so?"

                                            >"Uh-hu. He really had a good time with you."

                                            >Mary takes something down the counter

                                            >"He comes every Friday after 8 PM. Or you can find him here after that"

                                            >She gives you a card. It has Anonymous's number

                                            >"Give him a call. He won't charge you, is his personal phone."

                                            "Wow, thanks Mary."

                                            >"Just stop by my bar if you ever need to vent."

                                            >A few moments later, a few knocks are heard from the door.

                                            >>"Hello? Is this place open?"

                                            >"Come in."

                                            >A cab stallion comes in.

                                            >>"Good night, I'm looking for miss Bored?"

                                            "Hiya. Don't worry, I can still walk."

                                            >You stand up, and wobble your way to the door.

                                            >"Comeback anytime kid. I'll serve you something stronger next time."

                                            >You only laugh.

                                            >You leave the bar, get up the carriage cab, and enjoy your trip home.


                                            >You arrive home, and leave the carriage.

                                            "So, how much I own you?"

                                            >"Don't worry miss, Anonymous is one of our regulars. It's on his tab."

                                            "Oh, well, thanks for taking me home."

                                            >The pony tips his hat, and goes away.

                                            >You unlock the door, and go inside your house.

                                            >It's pleasing to comeback for the first time. The smell of shame and masturbation isn't there. You should wash more often.

                                            >... Nah, too much work.

                                            >You undress, throwing your clothes around, and land on your bed.

                                            >When you get comfy on your bed, you notice the card on your nightstand.

                                            >Maybe you should call Anonymous for a proper date someday.