You brought this on yourselves.


                                            >>36573802

                                            >>36573621


                                            >You're chopping veggies in the kitchen when you hear the screaming.

                                            >"REEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Delta, look at this bucking shit!"

                                            >"What do you -- REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE - " *inhale* "-EEEEEEEE!  Buck you with a cactus, you smooth-brained colts! Who let your retarded flanks onto the Equestria-Net in the first place?!"

                                            >The fuck? You've never heard your wives flip their shit in unison before.

                                            >"Mom? What's got you and Moonie so...worked...REEEEEEEE! Dumb bucking ziggers! I'll shit in your mothers' milk!"

                                            >Okay, now Apogee's doing it too. What the fuck's going on?! You stop chopping vegetables and pad into the living room.

                                            >Keys are clattering furiously as both mares and the filly all try to use the keyboard at once. They're completely ignoring you.

                                            "Will everyone please BE QUIET?!"

                                            >Moonie spooks and fires off a reflexive magic blast that puts a dent in the wall. Delta spooks and instinctively bucks backward, narrowly missing Apogee as the  equally-spooked filly launches herself into the air.

                                            "Now, will somebody please tell me what's wrong?"

                                            >"Look at this! Just look at it!" Delta gestures frantically at the screen with both wings.

                                            >You lean in.

                                            "Huh. Well, you're right that they're fucking retarded, but a couple of smooth-brained colts not recognizing the achievements of the new Ares rover isn't that big a deal. Not worth all that screaming."

                                            "But they're wrong! And we have to show them why they're wrong!"

                                            "No, you don't. I'm not listening to all this goddamn screaming." You go back into the kitchen, grab the fertility potion you've been keeping in the fridge, and come back out. The cork pops loudly as you pry it out. Slowly and deliberately, you drink the entire thing.

                                            >Hmm. Musky. Not too surprising, given that your wives' juices went into the mix.

                                            >When you finish, Delta Vee and Moondancer are both staring at you, wide-eyed. Moonie's cheeks are crimson, and Delta's blush makes her face look like a plum.

                                            "Apogee, call the pizza joint down the street and order us some dinner for later. You two - "

                                            >Moonie yelps as you snag her and throw her over your shoulder.

                                            "- are coming with me."

                                            >Slinging Delta over your other shoulder takes a little more effort, but not much.

                                            >You slide a couple of fingers into each mare to help hold onto them.

                                            >... and you just did that right in front of Apogee, didn't you?

                                            >The filly gags a little.

                                            >Oh well, can't be helped now.

                                            >You carry your wives off to bed.


                                            ***

                                            "And that's the story of how you and your brother were conceived!"

                                            >Escape Velocity groans. A full-bodied shudder wracks your centaur son's barrel.

                                            "Why, Dad, why?"

                                            "Perks of being a parent."