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The Aftershow part 2: Carbohydrates, Capitalism, and Cute Couples

By AchingScaphoid
Created: 2021-07-16 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-04-03 13:38:04
Expiry: Never
comedyponies on earthponies in earthcanadahumansgriffonsgallussilverstream

  1. 1.
    Posted after the previous one on New Year's Day 2020. I have ideas for a possible chapter 3 with the villains discussing their next moves over coffee. God knows if I'll ever get around to it, but the anon who suggested it was definitely onto something.
  2. 2.
    https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/34799309/#q34805898
  3. 3.
     
  4. 4.
    "Hello, little birdies."
  5. 5.
    >"I ain't a bird, you blind old- oh! Don't mind if I do!"
  6. 6.
    >The bald-headed, dead-eyed griffon swipes the full slice of bread from Nana Annie's hand
  7. 7.
    >Artisanal fuckin' whole wheat with seeds on the outside
  8. 8.
    >Say what you want about the old crone's eyesight, but she knows good bread when she sees it
  9. 9.
    >Get that Wonder Bread styrofoam crap out of here
  10. 10.
    >This is the good shit
  11. 11.
    >Now, handing out bread to birds in the middle of a city has a very predictable consequence
  12. 12.
    >Vancouver is no exception
  13. 13.
    >Having had a recent influx of birdlike fantasy cartoon creatures, it's now even less of an exception
  14. 14.
    >I guess it's kind of an exception because the type of 'bird' involved is exceptional, but that twists around to make the net exceptionality a bit lower
  15. 15.
    >What I'm trying to say is that it's an exception-ception
  16. 16.
    >Whatever, I'm getting off track
  17. 17.
    >This is in Victory Square, Vancouver
  18. 18.
    >An elderly woman is handing out free bread as a minor migration of dragons passes overhead, probably those ones occupying Queen Elizabeth Park a little ways south of here
  19. 19.
    >Dozens of griffons are now clamoring for their piece of the pie, in the form of slices of bread
  20. 20.
    >All too soon, Annie runs out of bread
  21. 21.
    >[clamoring intensifies]
  22. 22.
    "Don't you fret. I've got plenty for all of you."
  23. 23.
    >She pulls another loaf of multigrain goodness out of her handbag
  24. 24.
    >No, a loaf of bread does not fit in a handbag
  25. 25.
    >Let alone two - make that three loaves
  26. 26.
    >The griffons soon realize that the granny's generosity knows no bounds
  27. 27.
    >Most of them assemble into an organized but rowdy queue
  28. 28.
    >Some stand out from the crowd by hoarding prime slices of bread to sell to their fellow catbirbs
  29. 29.
     
  30. 30.
     
  31. 31.
    >One of them stands out not for that reason, but because he's a toyetic shade of blue (and some yellow)
  32. 32.
    >Bitches do, in fact, love him
  33. 33.
    >A sudden downdraft announces the arrival of one of those respectable women
  34. 34.
    >Her high-pitched, energetic voice also announces it more literally
  35. 35.
    >"Hi Gallus!"
  36. 36.
    >He swivels his head towards the familiar voice
  37. 37.
    >"Oh hey, Silverstream! What's up?"
  38. 38.
    >The peppy pink hippogriff rears up on her horsey legs, spreading her birdy front legs in confusion
  39. 39.
    >"I was hoping you could tell ME what's up! DHX kicked us off the set? For real?!"
  40. 40.
    >"Seems like it. The series *is* over."
  41. 41.
    >"But we lived there!"
  42. 42.
    >Gallus nods, his expression turning sour
  43. 43.
    >"Yyyup. Now we've got to live here. Anywhere was an upgrade from Griffonstone, but you? Jeez. How are the hippogriffs and seaponies holding up?"
  44. 44.
    >"Well... we're close to water, at least. I miss Mount Aris alrea-"
  45. 45.
    >A certain Gruff Grandpa barges in on the conversation
  46. 46.
    >"HEY! No cuttin' in line!"
  47. 47.
    >Gallus's expression goes from 'sour' to 'Warheads Hard Candy'
  48. 48.
    >"She's with me."
  49. 49.
    >"No place-holdin', neither!"
  50. 50.
    >He rolls his eyes at the enraged elder
  51. 51.
    >"This is Silverstream."
  52. 52.
    >He points a claw at the half-pony in question
  53. 53.
    >"You know, cousin of the heir to the sea-pony throne?"
  54. 54.
    >A spark of recognition lights up in Gruff's good eye
  55. 55.
    >"Yes... yes, now I remember!"
  56. 56.
    >Gramps bows his bald, vulture-like head, holding his fez in one talon
  57. 57.
    >"Please pardon me, duchess. My eyesight ain't what it was."
  58. 58.
    >He replaces his hat and pulls Gallus into a side-hug
  59. 59.
    >"My boy here-"
  60. 60.
    >"I'm not 'your boy.' Whose grandpa are you, anyway?"
  61. 61.
     
  62. 62.
     
  63. 63.
    >"Shut up and let me wingman. My boy here is a prime specimen of a griffon. He's got an excellent wingspan for his age, and would you believe this coloration is natural?"
  64. 64.
    >Silverstream balks at the blatant salesmanship.
  65. 65.
    >"We... know each other already?"
  66. 66.
    >"You do?"
  67. 67.
    >Gallus shoves the geriatric griffon off of him
  68. 68.
    >"She's the one who filled Princess Skystar's role at the friendship school."
  69. 69.
    >"Oh! Of course. My apologies, organizing griffons is like herding cats half of the time. So many things on my mind that one of 'em is bound to give me the slip. Like I said then, at least it worked out better than Justice League's scheduling problems."
  70. 70.
    >Grandpa Gruff ruffles the younger griffon's head feathers
  71. 71.
    >"And also like I said then, don't pass up Silver when you're digging for gold!"
  72. 72.
    >Gallus spares a disgusted, cringing glance towards Silverstream before making eye contact with his elder
  73. 73.
    >"Rrrright. Hey, I think I hear Gilda calling some locals 'dweebs' again."
  74. 74.
    >"What? How dare she! They are pure cinnamon buns, and potential clients (once we figure out what racket we're going to run here). I ougta tear her tail..."
  75. 75.
    >And off he trails, chasing after something that may not be happening but is likely enough that he'd believe it may be
  76. 76.
    >The young griffon runs a talon over his head to smooth out Gruff's ruffling, then meets Silverstream's disappointed gaze with one of his own
  77. 77.
    >Together, they sigh in unison, with the voice of a generation united as rebels with a cause
  78. 78.
    >...Okay, several causes (it's not a phase, mom! UGH. You wouldn't understand.)
  79. 79.
    >"Boomers."
  80. 80.
    >The griffon behind Gallus in line pokes him in the shoulder
  81. 81.
    >If this were a visual medium, you might recognize them as the stingy shopkeeper from the season 5 episode 'The Lost Treasure of Griffonstone'
  82. 82.
    >Alas, this is not
  83. 83.
    >You'll have to look her up on Google or Derpibooru or something
  84. 84.
    >"Are you taking your turn or what?"
  85. 85.
     
  86. 86.
     
  87. 87.
    >Gallus looks to the slightly less senior griffon in confusion, then follows her pointing claw in the other direction
  88. 88.
    >The line in front of him has dissipated, leaving a clear path to Nana Annie
  89. 89.
    >All that remains of it is a chipper gray griffoness strutting by with carbohydrates in claw, chattering to herself and chomping on her prize
  90. 90.
    >"Awwww yiss! Mother. Freakin'. Bread slices!"
  91. 91.
    >The two young half-birds trot up to the gracious granny
  92. 92.
    "Ooh, aren't you two the cutest! So colorful."
  93. 93.
    >Gallus puts on his best smile
  94. 94.
    >"Would you believe it's natur-OW."
  95. 95.
    >Silverstream's elbow puts a quick end to the boast by way of Gallus' ribcage
  96. 96.
    >She butts in even further by taking control of the conversation while he recovers
  97. 97.
    >"Hi! I'm Silverstream, and this is Gallus. We are *so* grateful for your generosity."
  98. 98.
    "Think nothing of it. Just the right thing to do, eh?"
  99. 99.
    >She starts handing out slices to the two students
  100. 100.
    "You two aren't main characters, are ya?"
  101. 101.
    >Silverstream perks up further (somehow) at the question
  102. 102.
    >"Yes! Did you watch the show?"
  103. 103.
    >Granny Annie shrugs
  104. 104.
    "Up 'til season 4. Couldn't fit my headcanon around Twilight getting wings. You stuck out too much to be background characters."
  105. 105.
    >Gallus puts up a talon-finger to ask an important question
  106. 106.
    >"Does that mean we get extra?"
  107. 107.
    >He nimbly dodges Silverstream's second strike
  108. 108.
    >Granonymous continues on as if a well-deserved shot to the ribs wasn't just avoided
  109. 109.
    >"Meh. Y'look like good DeviantArt OCs and seem interesting enough. I'll give you one extra each."
  110. 110.
    >"If I ask nicely, would you make it one and a hal-OW! Silverstream!"
  111. 111.
    >The hippogriff in question simply clears her throat
  112. 112.
    >"What he meant to say was thank you."
  113. 113.
     
  114. 114.
     
  115. 115.
    "Think nothing of it, sweetie! I've got bread for days!"
  116. 116.
    >With several bread slices each in talon-hand thingies they clear the front of the line and start walking off to wherever they may go
  117. 117.
    >Gallus turns to his girlfriend (according to shippers, at least) and admonishes her most recent assault
  118. 118.
    >"I would've given you my half, you know."
  119. 119.
    >"Oh? Well... I appreciate the thought, but, uh, I'm thinking of trying keto."
  120. 120.
    >The griffon scoffs
  121. 121.
    >"You've lived underwater for years, and *I'm* the one on the see-food diet?"
  122. 122.
    >The part-time seapony giggles at that observation
  123. 123.
    >Gallus follows up before she can stop snickering
  124. 124.
    >"So, did you ever meet Gabby on the set?"
  125. 125.
    >"I don't think so. Who's that?"
  126. 126.
    >Gallus swings an elbow up to point in the direction of a particularly enthusiastic griffoness
  127. 127.
    >"She was in line just ahead of me. Had a couple of episodes with her and the CMC or Spike. C'mon, I bet she'd love to meet you!"
  128. 128.
    >The pair of semi-avian adolescents strut off towards the she-griffon in question
  129. 129.
    >Meanwhile, Grandpa Gruff has returned to regulate the bread line, having chased down Gilda's tsundere self and admonished her for something she probably did at some point (maybe)
  130. 130.
    >Things seem to be in order again, so he starts chatting up the chief distributor of wheat-based deliciousness
  131. 131.
    >"Kids. No respect for anything."
  132. 132.
    >Leading with a line laced with that much venom gaurantees a response from the granny
  133. 133.
    "I'm sure they have their reasons. Not all of them valid, mind."
  134. 134.
    >"Not enought time in the world for me to get into all of their 'how' and 'why.' 'S the sort of canyon I could dig into until I'm dead."
  135. 135.
    "Can't go for ones that're too deep at our age, eh?"
  136. 136.
    >A sage and slightly depressed nod comes from Grandpa Gruff in response
  137. 137.
    >"Yep. Might as well be bottomless. Speaking of, where the heck are you getting all that from?"
  138. 138.
    "My purse, of course!"
  139. 139.
    >Gruff is ever so slightly gobsmacked by the obvious answer
  140. 140.
     
  141. 141.
     
  142. 142.
    >"I mean how do you have so much bread?"
  143. 143.
    "Depends what kind you mean. There's a nice little bakery on the corner there called PureBread, though if you're wondering how I afford it..."
  144. 144.
    >This wasn't the thrust of Grampa Gruff's question, but he pays rapt attention nonetheless
  145. 145.
    >What could be this generous geriatric's secret to success?
  146. 146.
    >She leans in close, whispering to the clearly captivated griffon
  147. 147.
    "...Nobody gives a hoot if you decide to be a NEET once your hair's gone gray."
  148. 148.
    >It takes a moment for the >implications to register in Gruff's mind
  149. 149.
    >Not that he's getting slow, mind you
  150. 150.
    >No, he's sharp as a tack, or something!
  151. 151.
    >"You're a pensioner?"
  152. 152.
    >She nods
  153. 153.
    "I'm a proud, syrup drinkin' Canuck, and my government takes care of me."
  154. 154.
    >"Do I get a pension?"
  155. 155.
    "How many times have you bought coffee at a Tim Horton's?"
  156. 156.
    >The grizzled old griffon does a mental tally
  157. 157.
    >"...Can't say I ever have."
  158. 158.
    "Sorry to say, but I don't think you're qualified."
  159. 159.
    >Grampa's beak frowns, being somehow flexible enough to have an emotive mouth
  160. 160.
    >"But *I* want money for nothing!"
  161. 161.
    >And chicks for free, no doubt
  162. 162.
    >Every griffon present, Gallus included (and also Silverstream, because she doesn't want to feel left out), turns away from what they're doing just long enough to join the chorus of griffons singing a rebuke in the key of 'deadpan'
  163. 163.
    >"Join the club."
  164. 164.
    >Grandpa Gruff sputters some more before he can shout his indignant reply
  165. 165.
    >"You say that like I'm not the one running the darn club!"

The Aftershow part 1: Here Be Dragons

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The Aftershow part 2: Carbohydrates, Capitalism, and Cute Couples

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LD Chapter 1: Gimme Shelter

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LD Chapter 2: Making Connections

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