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TV Surfing

By DatZigga
Created: 16th July 2021 09:31:33 PM
19th April 2021 11:55:14 PM

  1. >You’re sitting on your red, worn couch.
  2. >Being in Equestria is often a blessing and a curse.
  3. >A blessing because the denizens of Ponyville are adorable, but they won’t hear you admit that.
  4. >A curse because given the anachronistic period of the world, many technologies you’re comfortable with are absent in your daily life.
  5. >Well, scratch that.
  6. >Being in Equestria WAS a curse.
  7. >Due to endless waves of bitching and moaning, you manage to get Sparkle Butt to call her marefriend on the other side of the portal to set up some inter-dimensional cable.
  8. >You were told how such a process was possible, but you tune all that bullshit out.
  9. >Instead, you consider what human-pony world had to offer in the way of cable television.
  10. >So, on your busted ass couch, you fiddle with the remote.
  11. >As you channel surf, your spirit steadily drops.
  12. >You forgot how much TV sucked.
  13. >You realize it would have been better to set up inter-dimensional internet.
  14. >
  15. >You recline into your bad-bad-no-good couch, mindlessly hitting the channel up button on your remote.
  16. >You’re sure that you’ve passed the same hundred channels at least twice by now.
  17. >News, Soap Opera, Cooking, Reality TV. It was all so uninteresting.
  18. >You hear a knock at the door.
  19. >You ignore it.
  20. >Another knock.
  21. >Still ignored.
  22. >BANG!
  23. >Without even turning your head, you already knew who it was that just kicked in the door.
  24. >”Hiya, Nonny!” Pinkie greeted cheerfully, her hind legs still suspended in the air in a post-buck position.
  25. “I need you to stop kicking my door open, Ponk.”
  26. >”But you never open the door!” Pinkie complains, letting her legs fall back to the earth. “And besides, you like when I come by~!”
  27. “No, I don’t.” You say sternly.
  28. >You did.
  29. >As annoying as Pinkie could be, which is wearily often, she had the sort of charm that made it so you could never stay mad.
  30. >Maybe it was the bright blue eyes she would flutter whenever she did something wrong?
  31. >Maybe it was the soft, pink fur that she would wrap you in when she gave out a surprise hug?
  32. >Maybe it was the bouncy, upbeat attitude that never failed to disarm you, even at your most enraged?
  33. >Or maybe, just maybe, it was that ungodly thicc flank that has been the culprit of more than a couple restless nights.
  34. >Yeah, probably that, you degenerate.
  35. >
  36. >Pinkie trots over to you, stopping when she sees the alien device sitting in front of you.
  37. >”Ooooooh~! What’s this doohickey?”
  38. “A mistake.” You answer bluntly. “I thought it would break the monotony just a little bit but it only makes it more apparent.”
  39. >”What do you do with it?”
  40. “What kind of question is that? You watch the moving pictures and it makes you laugh and stuff.”
  41. >You immediately facepalm as you just realized you said her trigger word.
  42. >”Oh oh oh! Really?!” Pinkie’s eyes brightened. “Can I watch the mistake with you then!?”
  43. >Pinkie gets into her usual begging pose.
  44. >It’s one she’s perfected over the months to specifically break you.
  45. >She sits on her hind legs and tilts her head.
  46. >Her eyes water, almost on command, making her eyes shine brighter.
  47. >She pouts, not to much to be disgusting. Just enough for her weird, pony lips to pucker.
  48. >She whines very softly, like a puppy left out on a cold, Christmas Eve.
  49. >All of this production, just to watch TV with you.
  50. >You sigh.
  51. “Fine, but only if you sit on the other side of the-“
  52. >”YIPPEE~!” Pinkie springs into the air and lands right onto your lap, her cushiony tail breaking the fall.
  53. >You still recoil in surprise.
  54. “Damnit, Pinkie!”
  55. >She giggles. “Sorry, Nonny. But your lap is too comfortable to NOT sit in!”
  56. >You groan. Partly because of frustration and partly because of “frustration”.
  57. >
  58. >This damn, fluffy mane.
  59. >It was blocking your entire field of view.
  60. >You attempt to press her hair down to peer over it, but it was like pushing down a spring.
  61. >Pinkie, of course, didn’t seem even the slightest bit aware of your struggle.
  62. >Or maybe she was and this was her way of teasing you.
  63. >It wouldn’t be the only thing she was teasing.
  64. >Of all the places to sit, why here?
  65. >Your mind fails to draw the separation between a mare and a woman.
  66. >Your only solace is the fact that she does pass the Harkness Test, so it shouldn’t be too bad.
  67. >From what you can hear, you’ve landed on some cheesy b-movie flick, likely a slasher.
  68. >It seemed as good as any channel to stop.
  69. >Without being able to see the TV, you casually play with the floofy mane.
  70. >The sweet smell of sugar fills your nose, like baked sweets taken straight from the oven.
  71. >You play with the strands of hair in your hand.
  72. >Her mane coiled around your finger, almost prehensile in nature.
  73. >The screams of the innocent victims on the television begin to die down, as you grow more blissful.
  74. >Unaware of your actions, you hug Pinkie tighter against you.
  75. >”H-huh?!” She squeaks. “What’s the matter, Nonny? Are you scared?”
  76. >You didn’t answer, for you were lost in your own world now.
  77. >You bury your face in her mane, sinking into it like it was quicksand.
  78. >You breathe in deeply, taking in all the baked good smell that your lungs could handle.
  79. >You exhale against her skin, causing her to shiver a bit.
  80. >”N-Nonny! That tickles!” She giggles, which tickles your nose. “What’s gotten into you, silly?”
  81. >
  82. >You open your eyes, now acutely aware of your actions.
  83. >You remove yourself from her mane, your cheeks flushed in embarrassment.
  84. “I-I just got tired!” You lie, you know, like a liar.
  85. >”You never told me you were the cuddly type~!” Pinkie teased, wearing a smug grin on her face.
  86. “I’m not! I just, uh, was...tired?” You were aware you reiterated the same excuse but that somehow sounded better than the alternative.
  87. >”If you wanted to cuddle you could’ve just-“
  88. >You didn’t let Pinkie finish, as you pulled her close and tight, hiding your face in her mane again.
  89. “Don’t say anything, alright? Just...let me have this.” Your voice was a little muffled, but clear enough for her to hear.
  90. >Pinkie smiles softly.
  91. >”Okie Doki Loki~!” She sings, slamming a hoof on the remote.
  92. >The remote flies into the air and lands within the singular curl of her mane.
  93. >In usual Pinkie fashion, she uses her mane to surf through the channels.
  94. >”Let’s see what else there is to watch!” She chirps, letting you relax within the comfort of her mane.
  95.  
  96. END

TV Surfing

by DatZigga

What Bal-loony!

by DatZigga