Florida MAnon and Delta Vee (RGRE)


                                            >Be Anon, Florida Man extraordinare.

                                            >Currently vacationing in Canterlot with Delta Vee.

                                            >Well, it's half vacation, half custody hearing. You want to postpone taking custody of Apogee on the weekends for a few more months.

                                            >Delta's better than she used to be, but she isn't up to having her kid around yet.

                                            >You've tried to tell Apogee that, but the filly won't listen.

                                            >Still, you're trying to enjoy yourself before the inevitable ugly scene.

                                            >You're having a lovely little picnic in one of the city parks, under the shade of a tree.

                                            >Delta has her head in your lap, and her poor weary red eyes are contentedly closed. You're leaning back against the tree with a pillow behind your head. One hand's digging into a fruit bowl, plucking out grapes and popping them into Delta's mouth. Every so often, she gently suckles on your fingers, sending a pleasant shiver through you.

                                            >Your other hand lazily strokes Delta's mane, fingers tangling gently in the darker blue hair. Delta murmurs something contentedly, but it's too low-voiced for you.

                                            >A cool breeze blows across your face. It's safe here, so unlike any capital city on Earth. Slowly, your eyes drift closed...

                                            >"PIG! Look at this bucking pig of a mare! Look what she's making this poor deformed minotaur do!" The screech is loud, piercing, and coming from about ten feet in front of you.

                                            >Your eyes open again, most unwillingly.

                                            >What is this? What screeching beast has dared to disturb your comfy cuddles with Delta?

                                            >It's a particularly drab stallion with a sour expression. He's nattering on about "the matriarchy" and "mare privilege" and "chauvinism" and... actually, you think you'll tune him out while you formulate a response.

                                            >A moment's thought and you have it.

                                            >Your mood must have shown on your face, because Delta grabs you with both wings and that grippy-hooves thing ponies can do.

                                            >"Honey! We're in the middle of Canterlot! You can't handle this like you did those zebras!"

                                            >You're hurt.

                                            "You wound me, my dear. I may be a Floridian, but I'm not stupid. Besides, if all that bile and venom in his soul is anything to go by, he'd probably taste terrible."

                                            >Then again, the zebras had been dreadful excuses for sapient beings, and they'd tasted all right once you'd smoked and slow-cooked them.

                                            >"Promise me you won't hurt him... and oh, my Celestia, how am I the calm one in this relationship?"

                                            >You snort.

                                            "I won't harm anything but his pride and his manestyle."

                                            >You gently move Delta off your lap and stand up. And up. And up.

                                            >The bitchy stallion shuts up abruptly as he realizes that he only comes up to mid-thigh on you.

                                            >You grin. It's not a nice grin.

                                            "An interesting point of view, mister..."

                                            >"Caramel."

                                            "Allow me to respond."

                                            >With that, you unzip, whip out your dick, and piss in his face.

                                            >Now, you have a giant bladder. You can, and have, quenched a small fire with only your cock.

                                            >It's a great way to win bar bets, if you're with the right crowd.

                                            >You hose the bitchy stallion down, moving from side to side to make sure you get his barrel and tail. He's too shocked to move.

                                            >In fact, his eyes just literally blue-screened.

                                            >Equus's cartoony nature comes in handy sometimes.

                                            >Caramel - or as you've mentally dubbed him, Bitchy McBitcherson - just stands there, stunned, until you finish draining the dragon.

                                            >When you've finished, you shake off the last few drops into his slack, gaping mouth.

                                            >A small circle of hooting mares has gathered to watch the colt-fight. You hope none of them develop any new fetishes. Piss and sex don't go together.

                                            >Delta's staring, wide-eyed.

                                            >You REALLY hope she didn't develop a piss fetish.

                                            >As Caramel's brain begins to show signs of rebooting, you let go of your dick and use your clean hand to reach into the picnic basket. A bit of groping around turns up a very special flask, and an equally special little box.

                                            >You pull out the little box first, pop it open, and hold up the golden bracelet inside.

                                            "Delta, will you marry me and make me a happy man for the rest of my days? You don't have to bear my satyr babies until you feel ready to, if ever."

                                            >Abruptly, you find yourself on your back, Delta's tongue filling your mouth. Your cock swells to it's full 8" in seconds.

                                            >You're a bit distracted, but you clasp the golden engagement bracelet around Delta's left forehoof.

                                            >Then you draw out the heavily-enchanted leather dong ring and chinch it snugly around the base of your cock.

                                            "And now, Delta my sweet, it's time for you to get a loving, caring mating press."

                                            "B-but, all these ponies --"

                                            "Let 'em watch. Let them watch, and envy you."

                                            >There's a flash of light and a scream as Caramel vaporizes. Apparently stallionists and true love don't mix well.


                                            >Be Diamond Gavel, Jet Stream's pet lawyer.

                                            >Life's pretty good.

                                            >Comfy job wrecking ponies' shit in court, all the DILF dick you could ever want from your boss, and you even watch anime with his filly sometimes.

                                            >Still, you're not looking forward to today's family court hearing.

                                            >That freaky ape that Delta's dating makes you very uncomfortable. Not just the differences in his behavior compared to a pony's, either.

                                            >Just being in the same room as him makes your cutie mark itch & sting like it's been burned. Come to think of it, it's itching now.

                                            >You round the next corner & stop dead. From curb to curb, the street has been replaced with a dense thicket of saw palmettos, broken in places by tall pine trees. Thick strands of gray moss hang from the tree branches.

                                            >"In the pines, in the pines, where the sun never shines, you will shiver the whole night through..."

                                            "What on Equus?"

                                            >You slowly approach the thicket & stretch out a hoof to poke one of the plants. The palmetto frond is thick & solid. It sways slightly, disturbing a plum-sized roach, which promptly scuttles over your hoof and up your suit coat's sleeve.

                                            >You scream in an exceedingly stallionish fashion.

                                            >Two minutes of frantic contortions and spellwork later, you're no longer wearing your suit coat, & it's acquired a large stain of ichor, along with several hoofmarks.

                                            >Apogee & Jet look amused. You snort in irritation and shake yourself off one final time.

                                            "All right. All right. Somepony at CSGU botched a spell royally. Or... something. We'll just go around. There are half a dozen connecting streets that will get us to the courthouse."

                                            >You backtrack, go down a block, turn... and find the street literally underwater. From the intersection all the way down to the street's junction with the Canterlot City Park, it's as though it had been made into a giant open-air fishtank...complete with coral reef, small colorful fish, and a rather large shark.

                                            "Wat."

                                            >That irritating sensation in your cutie mark gets stronger.

                                            >Still be Diamond Gavel. Another round of hasty backtracking found a connecting street that hasn't been affected by... whatever's going on.

                                            >You're halfway down the street when you hear the music drifting out from the park.


                                            >>M.youtube.com/watch?v=UiZN5x_nass


                                            ***


                                            >Be Anon.

                                            >You have to admit, that red-eyed, snaggletoothed old unicorn who sold you this enchanted dong ring of stamina really knows his stuff.

                                            >You've been fucking Delta for an hour, but you haven't cum yet.

                                            >You have no idea where the soundtrack came from, but it's suitably matched to the epic feat you're performing.

                                            >"Nonnnyyyyy..." Delta wraps her wings around you as another orgasm starts to ripple through her body.

                                            >You must admit, her weird trench vagina's much more sensitive than a human female's. Tastes better, too.

                                            >Blueberry. Yum.

                                            >Then she screams in ecstasy, squeezes you even tighter, and nothing matters but the moment.

                                            >You don't notice the pulse wave that ripples out from your joined bodies.


                                            >Be Diamond Gavel.

                                            >NNNGHHH

                                            >It's like your cutie mark is on fire, being bitten by ants, and stung by wasps all at once.

                                            >You spasm in pain and crash down into warm swamp water. Your head bounces off a log, and you yelp.

                                            >Then the "log" starts to move, and you realize that your day is about to get worse.


                                            >Be Apogee.

                                            >Best filly, if you do say so yourself.

                                            >You and Dad hook your hooves under Diamond's legs and frantically take off, carrying her airborne as the alligator's jaws snap shut behind you.

                                            >And isn't that a hell of a sentence?

                                            >You can see solid ground inside the park. And a cluster of ponies gathered nervously around something moving on the ground, an undulating white and blue object...

                                            >One of the blue wings clasped around Anon's back lets go for a moment and splays outward spasmodically, before clenching back across Anon's shoulders. Your mom's wail of ecstasy drifts up from below. Only then do you realize what you're seeing.

                                            >You could have comfortably lived your entire life without seeing Anon mating press your mom.

                                            >Dad gags a little. "Oh...oh, my Celestia, I didn't need to see that! Why -- "

                                            > A ripple of magic explodes outward from the writhing pair on the ground. Dad's accent shifts and changes in mid-sentence.

                                            >"- dis swamp-troll, he has planted his last potato! Aye bane yump on him and get him for old cheese!"

                                            >Okay, you know your dad wasn't this blonde before. Nor did he have a stereotypical Maredish accent thick enough to slice, and the dialect to go with it.

                                            "Oh, Celestia, what's happening?"

                                            >"Chaos. Chaos is what is happening, my little pony."

                                            "Thank Faust! Princess Celestia, I..."

                                            >Oh. It's Princess Luna.

                                            >She looks a little hurt.

                                            >"I am afraid my sister is... indisposed."

                                            >Be Princess Luna, approximately two hours earlier.

                                            >Be looking at Discord with some degree of skepticism.

                                            "I find it hard to believe that you have truly found my sister's soulmate, Discord."

                                            >"Why, Luna, you wound me." A large and ragged cut opens up in Discord's side, spilling multicolored blood into the soil.

                                            >You roll your eyes.

                                            "Theatrics, theatrics, always theatrics with you."

                                            >"My, and I thought Celestia was a bit of a stick-in-the-mud." A little wooden carving of you pops into existence, then sinks into a pool of quicksand.

                                            >You wave a hoof in a "move-it-along, already" motion.

                                            >Celestia, however, is looking at Discord with interest.

                                            >"I find it hard to believe that you, of all creatures, could locate something that I've ceased to believe even exists."

                                            >Discord grins. "It wouldn't have been possible before Anonymous's unwilling entrance into this world. Apparently, your soulmate is a member of his species. Slightly less rough around the edges, but still possessed of similar virtues. Loyalty, courage, devotion..."

                                            >Okay, you really don't like the look in your sister's eyes now. There's a desperate yearning there that you haven't seen in many, many years.

                                            >"Shall I bring him here for you, Celestia? Shall I bring you the one who will gladden your soul, brighten your heart, and soothe your burning trench with his virile seed?"

                                            Sister, I'm really not sure that this is a good idea. After all, it's Discord. You're really going to trust DISCORD with your heart?"

                                            >Celestia turns and stares at you with the most pitiful, soulful stare you've ever seen.

                                            >"I know, but I'm so lonely. Discord has gradually proven himself. I'm willing to trust him on this."

                                            >Her head swings to face him, and the fires of the Sun itself light her eyes for just a moment.

                                            >"He knows what will happen if he plays false with my heart."

                                            >Discord gulps.

                                            >You raise an eyebrow. You've never seen him afraid of your sister before. "Well then, get on with it. No theatrics, please."

                                            >He snaps his left claw, and the air is instantly filled with a thick, masculine musk. A few scanty items of sweat-soaked clothing crumple emptily to the floor.

                                            >Celestia's eyes bulge in shock and horror.

                                            >"Whoops. Hang on, he moved at the last second."

                                            >Discord snaps his claw again, and Equus is promptly graced by the presence of a second half-shaved ape.

                                            "Sweet bucking Faust, he's short. Is he even legal age for his species?"

                                            >A pair of icy blue eyes fix you with an outraged glare. "YES."

                                            >Oh. You said that out loud, didn't you. Well done, Luna.

                                            >Upon closer examination, indeed, the little creature is massively muscled, with thews that only a minotaur could match. Sweat runs off his body, and a dumbbell is still clasped in one hand.

                                            >Reflexively, your gaze drifts downward.

                                            >(Princesshood aside, you're still a mare, after all.)

                                            >...!

                                            >Whew, filly, you could club a mare to death with that thing!

                                            >"Luna, could you please quit ogling my alleged soulmate?"

                                            >As soon as Celestia speaks, the ape's head snaps around. Their eyes meet. Little hearts spill from their tear ducts in the same way dark magic would.

                                            >The ape moves faster than you'd have expected from such a mass of muscle. The dumbbell falls from his hand, clanging unnoticed to the floor. He's at the foot of the throne in seconds, and locking lips with Celestia an instant after that.

                                            >When he finally comes up for air, he looks around, taking in the audience of gaping ponies. Finally, he speaks...

                                            >... and sweet Faust, that accent grates on the ear like the audible equivalent of steel wool.

                                            >"Could y'inz leave the room, please? I'm a-gonna mating press this goddess here. Then we'll have cheesesteaks. Then I'll mating press her again."

                                            >You take your leave at that point.

                                            >Still be Luna.

                                            >The filly hath fainted dead away.

                                            >Strewth, the moral fiber of mares is not what it was in your day.

                                            >Her father doth puff up at Anon, squawking in the traditional pegasus threat display. The white ape ignores the stallion's posturing and concentrates upon his lectual duties, pounding away with might and main.

                                            >Most impressive, and from meeting him before, you know that he hath a keen mind to go with the foal-siring thighs. You wonder if he could perhaps be tempted away from his current mare...

                                            >Another pulse wave sweeps through the local environment, spawning a dancing conga line of black bears, panthers, and alligators.

                                            >Stay thy lusts, Luna. Such chaos is liable to start hurting ponies soon. But how to break Discord's influence upon him?

                                            >...

                                            >Couldst it be that simple?

                                            >You fly down, desperately trying to ignore the musk of sweat and sex, and land in Anon's field of vision.

                                            "Anon."

                                            >The wet slapping of flesh on flesh continues.

                                            "Anonymous."

                                            >Slap. Slap. Slap.

                                            >You don't want to shake him, lest he react poorly...or violently. Attempts to pull him off with your magic just slide off.

                                            >Blast Discord, anyway!

                                            >Another pulse leaves Anon coated in coarse reddish-black hair with white stripes like a skunks. His arms stretch, his brow ridge juts forward, and his canines become jutting, ape-like tusks.

                                            >The strength of his sweaty, masculine musk doubles and redoubles. Thy head verily swims with it.

                                            >Desperate times call for desperate measures.

                                            >You gather all your skills at mimicry and imitate the cry of those zebra-like creatures that Anon once spoke of as his tribal enemies.

                                            "Oh, Lawdy, mistah cracka! I dindu nuffin! Dat's racist!"

                                            >Be Anon, homo floridianus blancus.

                                            >The sound of ebonics pulls your thoughts away from pleasuring Delta Vee.

                                            >Your head snaps up, and you scan the area. No pavement apes befoul your sight.

                                            >However, you're damn sure that the park was a standard park before you started going to town on Delta, not an exhibit of assorted cross-sections of Florida's natural beauty and wildlife.

                                            >Nor was there a peeved pony princess staring at you.

                                            >The music you've been hearing for a while shifts.


                                            >>https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gWgbF3DojKA


                                            >Luna remains unamused.

                                            "Your Highness. I have no idea what the hell's going on. Care to fill me in?"

                                            >"Your natural chaotic nature seems to be exerting itself on the surroundings... and yourself... and the bystanders." She uses a wingtip to gesture to Diamond Gavel, who's lying on on the ground, having a very obvious seizure.

                                            "Well. Can't have that. I suspect I know what's causing it, too. Serves me right for ponying up for a magic cock ring. Dammit, I just wanted to make Delta ecstatic." You look down at your dick, and only then notice the fur coating your body. "All right, 'transformation into a skunk ape' wasn't listed in the fine print on this thing, nor was terraforming. I'll be asking for a refund."

                                            >You pull out of Delta with a wet schlicking noise, and freeze.

                                            "Uh, the buckle's gone."

                                            >Luna facehoofs.

                                            Well, if we can't go back, we might as well go forward."

                                            >"And just what do you mean by --"

                                            >Luna cuts herself off as you start to jackhammer Delta like a man possessed. Which apparently you are. Apt little cliche, that.

                                            >The music blares into something that you haven't heard since the 80s.


                                            https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LfpqHCjO2to


                                            >A passing goth pegasus goes 'whoa,' as does a certain fat-assed cellist who can appreciate the instrumental complexity.

                                            >Everyone else just covers their ears and grits their teeth.

                                            >Delta squeaks and writhes in ecstasy beneath you as you plow her in a desperate frenzy. Another wave of chaos magic rocks the local area.

                                            >A mammoth skeleton does a graceful tango past you, arm-in-arm with the bones of a giant ground sloth.

                                            >"Anon, this is counterproductive!"

                                            "I'm hoping...that if I nut...it'll break...the spell...holding this thing...on. Almost...there!"

                                            >Luna clicks her tongue. "And if it doesn't break the spell?"

                                            "Then I'll let...your surgeons...or enchanters... take...a crack...at it!"

                                            >Luna facehoofs. Again. "Why not try that FIRST?!"

                                            "Contrary...to rumor...Princess...you don't...have a dick...or you wouldn't...ask that."

                                            >"Contrary to...WHAT RUMOR?! WHO HATH SPREAD SUCH VICIOUS LIES AND CALUMNY ABOUT OUR LOINS?"

                                            >Holy shit, it's like standing in front of an air raid siren! Or the speakers at a Trans-Siberian Orchestra concert!

                                            >You start to reply to Luna - mainly to beg her to quiet down -- but then Delta's cervix finally yields to your relentless pounding.

                                            >You slip in, and as soon as you hit the back wall of her womb, she clenches.

                                            >Ecstasy.


                                            >Be Luna.

                                            >LIES! LIES AND SLANDER MOST VILE! YOUR LOINS ARE UNSULLIED!

                                            >You start to demand that Anon cease his impressive, yet futile efforts. Then he groans thickly, at the same time that Delta wails in pleasure.

                                            >Something smacks you across the muzzle and bounces off to hit the ground at your hooves.

                                            >It's a strip of leather.

                                            >Ew.

                                            >It's wet, slick, and dripping viscous yellow fluid onto the dirt at your hooves.

                                            >EWWWW!!!

                                            >There's a clatter as the waltzing bones fall apart. The dancing beasts scatter in all directions. Anon, however, is still a... whatever he called it -- skunk ape?

                                            >Honestly, aside from his having a proper coat now, you don't see much difference.

                                            >The little slices of Anon's native land don't disappear, unfortunately. Apparently Discord's getting better at making chaos magic permanent.

                                            >Still, it can't possibly get worse.

                                            >Shit.

                                            >WHY DID YOU THINK THAT, LUNA? OF COURSE IT CAN GET WORSE!

                                            >A fiery halo of red light flares around Delta Vee, and she vanishes into the ether.

                                            >Anon stares in horror. The male pegasus stares in horror. Even the filly, who'd woken up at some point, stares in horror.

                                            >Then they all burst into tears.


                                            >Be Delta Vee.

                                            >You're in a dark place, with only the light of twinkling stars shining faintly upon you.

                                            >You remember ecstasy beyond anything you've ever known. And then, light. Followed by this darkness.

                                            >Oh shit, mare! You're dead!

                                            >Your life flashes in front of your eyes. Right up until the end.

                                            >Yep. Death by snu snu. Nonny literally fucked you to death.

                                            >And indeed, the wet slapping noises coming from all around you suggest that whoever runs the afterlife has a sense of humor.

                                            >What lewd psychopomp will appear to usher you on to the next plane of existence?

                                            >Your life flashes in front of your eyes again.

                                            "Faust, if you give me a second chance, I'll try to be a better mother to Apogee. It isn't her fault."

                                            >Nothing happens.

                                            "I'll quit drinking!"

                                            >Nothing continues to happen.

                                            "Okay, that was a lie, but I'll try to cut back!"

                                            >And then, in a flash of red light, you're back in the park again.

                                            >WHUMP.

                                            >Nonny just tackled you hard enough to knock you over. He's crying and laughing all at the same time as he hugs you.

                                            >Finally, he lets you go for a minute.

                                            >"Delta? Why are you an alicorn?"


                                            ***


                                            >Be Anon, some ten months later.

                                            >"Bring me the man who did this to me!"

                                            "Hon, I'm right here." You squeeze Delta's hoof as another contraction hits her.

                                            >"You did this, you bucker!"

                                            "As I recall, you had something to do with it too. Blame Discord, if you're going to blame anyone for the unexpected conception."

                                            >Delta growls. Then she screams. There's an audible pop from the foot of the hospital bed.

                                            >Then the doctor tending to the delivery screams.

                                            >And he fucking SCREAMS. You'd think someone just pissed on his Bat-Mare #1.

                                            "What the hell's wrong with our kid?!"

                                            >The doctor holds your child up in his magic and screams again.

                                            "Quit screaming, you pussy. It's not even a satyr."

                                            >You take the little anthro foal in your arms.