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[RDxAnon] Dash 1shot: What happened last night? [Candles]

By DashPosterAndArchiver
Created: 12th May 2021 09:49:37 PM
7th February 2023 09:10:59 AM

  1. What Happened Last Night?
  2. Part 1:
  3.  
  4. >Fwap! Thump!
  5. "...Ugh..."
  6. >Bang!
  7. "...Shit..."
  8. >You ran your fingers along your aching temples, the pain had reached a point where you wanted to massaged them, but it hurt to even touch your head. Seriously, why did you drink so much last night? Or was it two nights? Did you even know? Did you even want to know?
  9. >Slump!
  10. >You rolled out of bed, well more accurately, you slid out of bed. In a sort of prehistoric crawling-out-of-the-water-for-the-first-time. Then you instantly regretted moving at all. Why on Earth would you do that when the planet seemed intent on spinning much faster than it had been earlier?
  11. >You reached for the clock, every joint in your body popping and clicking. It was uh... half past wayy too fucking early.
  12. "...ugh..."
  13. >You dropped the clock and instantly regretted it, apparently Earth had also gotten much louder at some point during the night. You needed Tylenol and coffee. Actually first you needed the bathroom because you were about to vomit all over the place.
  14.  
  15. >A while after that you were sitting huddled in the bathroom, the air reeked with the stench of whiskey and stomach acid. After all that was all that had come up. Alright no more drinking on an empty stomach, you noted. Your head hurt, your stomach hurt, your hands hurt from trying to get past those stupid child locks on the Tylenol and Tums bottles and your neck hurt from the weird angle you were slumped in against the bathroom door.
  16. >Yep this was probably the kicker. No more drinking for a while.
  17. >It was then that you realized you actually weren't in your house. You were... somewhere? Judging by the tiny bottles of cheap shampoo on the counter you assumed you were in a hotel. But then how did you get the Tylenol?
  18. >Ugh you were too hungover to figure this out right now. You just needed to find the kitchen and eat something that would hopefully stay down. Maybe some toast.
  19.  
  20. Part 2:
  21.  
  22. >You pushed the lever down on the toaster with a wince. The sharp changing sound running through your brain like a drill, before shambling back to the main room.
  23. >It had the dirty rundown look of a motel. A place where many had come to fuck and then never talk to each other again. A place that had been the location of at least three murders, two gang shoot outs, several drug trades, and at least one instance of human trafficking. Yep, this was a cheap highway motel. Looking out the window confirmed that theory.
  24. >Of course which highway this hotel was off of was completely beyond you.
  25. >Bing!
  26. "Augh dammit!"
  27. >You groaned and walked over to the toaster, grabbing the two slices and tossing them onto a cheap plate. The fake porcelain kind. The stuff hotels bought in bulk from Ikea.
  28. >Butter? Nah, Peanut Butter? Oh god no! You took the toast plain and sat down at the small kitchen table. Also which happened to be from Ikea. You thought your grandma may have owned the same one.
  29. >The toast was... plain, boring, but filling. Better than nothing. Which was what had been in your stomach. Well there might have still been a bit of whiskey pooled at the bottom.
  30. >You rubbed your cheek, the recent stubble making a scratching sound to mix with the crunch of your toast and the faint ticking of a clock somewhere else in the motel room. It hurt your ears. But you didn't stop.
  31. >Why on Earth did you drink this much? Well technically it wasn't Earth anymore.
  32. >About two years earlier during some sort of secret Swedish experiment, Earth got fused. Kind of. A sort of giant door was created that connected Earth to another world called Equestria. Your world thanks to the wonders of science and an irate employee got partially fused through a temporal doorway with another world full of ponies. Yes, anthropomorphic sentient candy coloured ponies.
  33.  
  34. >Earth and Equestria still had their own governments but crossing was allowed. Albeit with some difficulties. Humans at first had to be tagged and tracked while in Equestria, the same applied to any ponies crossing over to our side. This was to compensate for the somewhat sociopathic and violent nature of humans and to compensate for the innocent and wise eyed nature of the ponies. Many of Earth's technologies were new to them which was a shame as it was almost impossible to get any devices across. The amount of magic, that's right magic in Equestria's air ended up shorting out any electrical device within seconds. Those that did make it across were no more advanced than the technology they already had.
  35. >Some people chose to permanently immigrate to Equestria, not a lot as their eventual want for technology drove them back to Earth. But at times, some would stay. You had. For about a year at least. But then some... stuff happened and you found yourself coming back to Earth.
  36. >As a whole, Equestria and Earth stayed relatively the same as they previously had. Except both had ended up with new tourist attractions.
  37.  
  38. >"Groan... Whah?"
  39. >You jumped from the new voice in your hotel room. Someone else was here? There was a thump followed by a cry of pain.
  40. >That voice was... Familiar. Far too famil- Oh christ.
  41. >You stood up and walked into the bedroom, trying to choose whether or not to cover your eyes in case it was who you thought it was or just face the fireworks. In case you were lucky at it wasn't... her.
  42. >"Ugh... Where am I?"
  43. >A blue hoof shot up from under the pile of stained sheets and blankets.
  44. >Oh no.
  45. >This blue hoof was followed by a cloud of rainbow hair.
  46. >Oh god no.
  47. >She sat up and looked around blearily, massaging her head and groaning.
  48. >Oh damn... It was her.
  49.  
  50. Part 4:
  51.  
  52. >She looked over and recognized you, her face quickly changing from pain, to confusion, then a sort of awkward half grin. "Oh uh Anon... What are you doing here?"
  53. >Then she realized where she was. "Wha- Augh! Anon what the hay happened last night!? Why am I ohhhh!" She held her head and winced.
  54. "Uh... Hi Dash. How're ya doing?"
  55. >"A-Anon! What are we doi- why am I- where are w-" She stammered, trying to piece together where she was. By that point you had honestly given up for the next while.
  56. "Yeah... So any idea uh what happened last night?"
  57. >She looked at you horrified, "You were at that party right?"
  58. "Party?"
  59. >"Yeah, Twilight, Pinkie, and I had all been invited to that party. Your friend Mark hosted it right?" She was sitting up straight now, the blanket wrapped around her waist and hind legs.
  60. "Mark hosted a party?"
  61. >She scratched her chin. "Uh yeah. Um... Let's see, what do you remember?"
  62. >You racked your brain:
  63.  
  64. >"Hey Ahnon... I gotsha tell you my secretsh mahn. Like I goht a lotsa secretsh." Dash slurred into your ear. She was sitting in the passenger seat as you were driving them somewhere. Twilight had passed out in the back seat and Pinkie was playing with a rubber chicken.
  65. "Yeah Dash?"
  66. >Wait... You were sober at that time.
  67.  
  68. "Dash... When did I start drinking?"
  69. >"Uhh..." She clambered out of the bed. "During the party I thi- Oh wait! It is cuz of the driving thing? Yeah Twilight gave you a sobriety spell. She undrunkified you for a while."
  70. "Ohh... Ok."
  71. >"Do you have any Tylenol?" She gave me a pained look. "My head is killing me."
  72. "Yeah sure one sec."
  73. >You walked back into the bathroom and took another pill. Making sure to break it in half. Ponies had a much lower tolerance when it came to medication due to their smaller frame. They would usually get sick when they were given the human dosage. General practice said "Half was usually enough."
  74.  
  75. You handed her the half-pill and a glass of water, both of which she accepted gratefully. Given your previous history with her, that was uh... weird.
  76. >You sat down in a chair facing the bed which she had climbed back onto.
  77. "So... I was driving you and your friends...."
  78. >She swallowed the pill with a loud gulp and a satisfied ahh. "Oh right... Uh let's see. You were um driving us back to the portal I think. Yeah. But I mean that's all I remember really. How much did I drink?"
  79. "As far as I can remember, only four beers and maybe a shot. But you were plastered!"
  80. >She unfolded and refolded her wings, both of them making a soft popping sound as she winced. "You know ponies have a lower alcohol tolerance. Or at least thats what Twilight says. Make sense seeing as we are smaller."
  81. "Yeah I suppose you're right."
  82. >She suddenly looked around at the sheets, bottles, and various other pieces of detritus covering the floor. "Anon I have a question and the answer better not be 'I don't know'. Understand?"
  83. "Uh yeah shoot."
  84. >"Why did I wake up in the same bed as you?" She looked pissed now. You started to get worried. Why did she wake up in the same bed as you? Why were- Oh god. You two after what happene-
  85. "Uh Idon'tknow!"
  86. >You panicked. She got angry. There was a strange feeling of deja vu which descended onto the room. Her ears stood straight up and her nostrils were flared. She always did this when she was pissed. Sadly it happened to be adorable. "Anon tell me now. Why the hay am I in your bed?"
  87. "Wait now hold on. This isn't my bed. To be honest, I have no idea where I am right now."
  88. >She raised a hoof to shade her eyes and looked out the window. "Well this isn't Equestria."
  89. "How do you-"
  90. >"Equestria doesn't have cars made for humans. Or highways like that." She cut you off with a scowl. "Now why did we sleep in the same bed last night?"
  91. "We slept together?"
  92. >"Sigh... We didn't have sex Anon if that's what you're thinking."

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