Allegheny(2017): Untitled Eris Green [discontinued]


                                            >It's not often you can say something on the internet has actually thrown you off.

                                            >You've seen it all.

                                            >Dead bodies, lemonparty, weird porn, gore, if it’s on the internet, you've probably come by it.

                                            >You've been desensitized, like so many others.

                                            >But, it's a simple DM conversation that's starting to throw you off.

                                            >The conversation started off pretty innocently.

                                            >A week or two ago someone messaged you on Twitter asking how your day was.

                                            >Normal stuff you would find from any lonely person trying to make fake internet friends.

                                            >A mixture of pity and curiosity led you to respond.

                                            >And from then on you've been talking with them.

                                            >They're sort of weird, but aren't we all?

                                            >But, that weirdness lost its charm rather quickly.

                                            >Today when you checked Twitter you saw a message notification.

                                            >Expecting nothing out of the ordinary, you opened it.

                                            >”Now then, I must ask, why did you shut the elevator on that woman yesterday?”

                                            >Some random thing you did and told nobody about.

                                            >Something this guy knows about.

                                            >A big red flag that something is off.

                                            >The source of the jitters you have now.

                                            >But, it's just innocent enough that you still want to play along.

                                            >So, you start typing out a reply.

                                            >”I dunno, just felt like it. How do you know bout that?”

                                            >And then you wait for your reply.


                                            >The other guy responds surprisingly quick.

                                            >They must have been online already.

                                            >”Really? Just like that?”

                                            >You frown at their reply.

                                            >There was conveniently no answer to /your/ question.

                                            >And that question is sort of important to you.

                                            >So you press again.

                                            >”Seriously, how do you know that?”

                                            >The next reply takes a little longer.

                                            >”Why did you cheat on your last significant other?”

                                            >What the fuck?

                                            >When was that, two or three years ago?

                                            >Regardless this “stranger” should have no idea.

                                            >Only one person knew and it was the girl you were seeing on the side.

                                            >And it didn't even last long!

                                            >”None of your business. I'm done talking.”

                                            >With that you block them, putting your phone down with a sigh.

                                            >Do you have some kind of stalker?

                                            >Should you call the cops?

                                            >You rub your temple, sighing.

                                            >This is not okay.

                                            >Whatever /this/ is.


                                            >Deciding not to involve the cops get, you turn on the tv to help you forget about this.

                                            >Your hand is shaking a little as you work with the remote.

                                            >Stuff like this online has always felt so distant to you, it was easy to be detached.

                                            >But now it's you who's being toyed with and it's really getting to you.

                                            >The tv is on some random game show, nothing special but nothing awful.

                                            >So, you watch it for a bit.

                                            >It's some sort of quiz show, basic stuff wrapped in some signature twist that makes the game look unique.

                                            >You're almost half asleep watching it when you hear the host ask something very odd.

                                            >”Now then, why /did/ you cheat on her anon?”

                                            >It almost sends you flying out of your chair.

                                            >Frantic, you rewind the show.

                                            >This time, those host merely asked a contestant if they're a fan of quiche.

                                            >Most definitely not what you heard.

                                            >Is your mind playing tricks on you?

                                            >Probably.

                                            >But it's freaking you the hell out.

                                            >You take a series of deep breaths to calm your nerves.

                                            >Maybe tv was a bad idea.

                                            >Yeah, frayed nerves can do without all that stimuli.

                                            >Perhaps just listening to some music?

                                            >Just good old audio to drown out your anxiety.


                                            >You put your headphones on, turning up your phone’s volume to levels that will make your cochlea shrivel up and die.

                                            >And just hit shuffle.

                                            >This is more like it.

                                            >You, laying back, having absolutely no room to think about anything besides the music blasting your ears.

                                            >Your eyes begin to droop a little, the worry subsiding slowly but surely.

                                            >But just as things start to feel peaceful, the song lyrics get awfully weird.

                                            >Hardly even lyrics honestly.

                                            >They don't rhyme and just barely fit the beat.

                                            >”Why don't you want to answer?”

                                            >”It's a simple question!”

                                            >”Why did you want to do that?”

                                            >”I'm not trying to judge!”

                                            >The oddness of the lyrics is only outdone by the fact that the song abruptly ends there.

                                            >It feels like something just cut the song short.

                                            >The next track that plays is a podcast.

                                            >That's odd, you never once listened to a podcast, let alone downloaded one.

                                            >”Today on ‘The Familiar Chaos’ we ask our listener very important questions about life and motivation! Should be a very interesting show!”

                                            >A few things come off as weird to you beyond the fact it's a podcast.

                                            >The host’s voice sounds vaguely familiar.

                                            >You can't quite place it but you've heard it.

                                            >And secondly, why did he say listener and not listeners?


                                            >Instead of just turning it off like a sane person, you keep listening.

                                            >It's almost like you're asking for it.

                                            >”Our first question, seeing as how the other one received no answer is as follows: Why did you make that fake dating site account?”

                                            >You instantly take off your headphones.

                                            >What the hell is going on?

                                            >Why is the world grilling you on random shit you've done.

                                            >It's getting creepy as hell and even more annoying.

                                            >As you try and get over this, you check the time.

                                            >It's 12:28.

                                            >Fuck it, it's not /too/ early to have a drink.

                                            >You get up, pouring yourself a shot.

                                            >You hardly ever touch that bottle of vodka, but now is damn good to try it.

                                            >The shot burns as it goes down your throat.

                                            >It makes you cough a bit, not at all smooth.

                                            >As you finish coughing, you look over at your tv.

                                            >A simple phrase is on there in overly fancy typeface.

                                            >”Oh come on!”

                                            >Didn't you turn your tv off anyways?


                                            >With everything that’s been going on today, it doesn’t take long for you to simply accept the tv turned itself on.

                                            >You pour yourself another shot before going and sitting down on your couch, staring at the tv.

                                            >This is probably just going to keep going on and on until you confront it, so you might as well get this over with.

                                            >The image changes suddenly on the screen, reacting to you finally sitting down and paying attention.

                                            >”Finally! And here I thought I would have to try and get your attention all day!”

                                            >The text is nowhere as large as last time, what with it being several words longer, so you have to lean in a bit just to see it.

                                            >”Now then, I have so many questions for you, but you are just being hard to work with!”

                                            >Yeah, because cooperating with some crazy stalker is a much better alternative.

                                            >Granted, you’re cooperating now, but that’s beyond the point.

                                            >The screen’s text changes again.

                                            >”So, I suppose a more direct approach is in order!”


                                            >The tv’s image changes to a strange, swirling spiral.

                                            >It’s quite the eyesore, and you want to turn it off.

                                            >But, something is keeping your eyes glued to the screen.

                                            >Your peripheral vision is starting to blur, and your head is killing you.

                                            >The headache could very well be from the shots, but that’s not really on your mind right now.

                                            >What’s more on your mind is the fact that you’re glued to your seat, forced to stare at some gaudy animation.

                                            >Soon the only thing clearly in your vision is that spiral, as you feel less and less cognisant of your surroundings.

                                            >How long have you been sitting here?

                                            >It’s so hard to tell.

                                            >All you can really be sure of is that you feel tired.

                                            >Despite your eyes being absolutely stuck to the spiral, your eyelids feel heavy.

                                            >So heavy that eventually you just pass out.

                                            >Unable to do anything but go with the flow of whatever this was.


                                            >There’s no telling how long you were out.

                                            >When you do finally awake, your headache is thankfully gone.

                                            >And you can actually look around now, so that’s an improvement as well.

                                            >Your surroundings however are anything but what you expected.

                                            >A bright forest setting, practically out of a cartoon.

                                            >Like, really, the sky is that bright blue you only see in light hearted animation.

                                            >You sit up, getting a better look at this bright forest.

                                            >It looks like a forest sure, but everything about it is just so simple and bright.

                                            >You’ve seen plenty of real trees in your day, but these trees were nowhere close to realistic.

                                            >”Enjoying the scenery?” asks that familiar voice from the podcast.

                                            >As you look over at the source of the voice, you can scarcely believe your eyes.

                                            >There sits a large, lanky creature, a seeming hodgepodge of countless other living beings.

                                            >The voice makes sense now, as does the weirdly animated forest you’re in.

                                            >But, it making sense shouldn’t make any sense at all.

                                            >You must still be unconscious, because there’s no way Discord is talking to you right now.


                                            >Discord smirks at your apparent confusion.

                                            >”Having some mental crisis there Anon?” they ask.

                                            >You can hardly sputter out a reply, dream or not this is way too surreal for your tastes.

                                            >Seeing your apparent struggle, Discord picks up the one sided conversation.

                                            >”Now, I /knew/ the direct approach would be rather jarring, but you left me no choice! Now, I’ll cut to the chase- I like you Anon!”

                                            >You’re having a hard time paying attention to anything Discord is saying.

                                            >Right now you’re more focused on pinching yourself and acting out all the other “it must be a dream!” tropes.

                                            >Of everything Discord has said, you really haven’t cared.

                                            >It’s just a dream, right?

                                            >Then again, you’ve felt every pinch so far.

                                            >But there’s no way this can be real!

                                            >Noticing your inattention, Discord leans in close, grabbing your attention.

                                            >”May I continue?” they ask sarcastically.


                                            >Before you even reply, Discord continues his speech.

                                            >”As I was saying. I see a lot of promise in you Anon, promise I think I could harness! You have a penchant for testing your boundaries in little ways, do you not?”

                                            >You think it over for a second, knowing fully well you’ll be forced to play along anyways.

                                            “I suppose that’s true.”

                                            >”You suppose?” questions Discord, feigning shock.

                                            >”I’ve had my eye on you for quite a while! You mess with little things. You’ll shut a woman out of an elevator just because you feel like it! You’ll set up a dating profile just to see how people react to your made up advances!”

                                            >Just before you can bring up the odd fact that Discord knows what a dating website is, another more pressing question comes to mind.

                                            “What are you insinuating right now?”

                                            >”I am so glad you asked! A curious mind is a very good thing!”

                                            >Discord pats your head like an owner would do to their dog.

                                            >”I have plans for you Anon! Big plans!”


                                            >”You have dabbled in chaos, trying things just to see the outcome! But, you are far from a master at it. So, I thought why not challenge myself to foster that feeling in you?:

                                            >Your head is starting to hurt again.

                                            >Sure, you do some morally questionable stuff now and again, but are you really expected to believe Discord, a fictional character, has been watching this?

                                            >”And that’s when it hit me! My next great goal!” exclaims Discord.

                                            “And that is?”

                                            >A part of you is scared to hear the answer.

                                            >But, another part of you is very, very curious.

                                            >”To be a parent!”

                                            >You stare at Discord with a look of utter disbelief.

                                            “You’re joking, right? I’m an adult.”

                                            >Discord flashes a devious grin.

                                            >”You’re also human and male, but I can fix that. Now then, it’s time to make you more presentable! No child of mine would look so… /human/!”

                                            >You gulp, knowing you are most likely not going to like where this is going.


                                            >In an instant you're strapped down in some sort of dentist’s chair.

                                            >Leave it to Discord to warp reality in the most /welcoming/ ways.

                                            >Discord himself has a doctor’s outfit, looking over you with a look of enthusiasm.

                                            >”You're going to have quite the radical makeover Anon, I hope you're ready!”

                                            >You vehemently shake your head.

                                            >He either ignores or just fails to notice your distress.

                                            >”Now, I think making you a filly would help you blend in better with the general population…” he mumbles, scratching his chin.

                                            >Oh great, that's a comforting thought.

                                            >You being stuck as a tiny, female pony with a-

                                            >”So we absolutely /can't/ do that! It's too easy! Too predictable!”

                                            “Can we just… get this over with?”

                                            >Discord stares at you for a minute.

                                            >”You're just as eager as I am!”

                                            >It takes all you can to strangle back a groan.

                                            >”Tell me anon, have you ever seen a female Draconequus?”

                                            >You ponder it for a moment.

                                            “Oh you must be joking.”

                                            >The eager grin on Discord’s face says that he is most definitely not.


                                            >The next several minutes consist of Discord poking, prodding, shaping, and stretching your body.

                                            >It feels really weird, considering you know it's probably all unnecessary.

                                            >He's /Discord/, he could probably get this over with in an instant if he wanted.

                                            >But, being Discord, he definitely does not want to make things easy.

                                            >Thankfully this “procedure” is relatively easy to ignore.

                                            >It's almost like a massage.

                                            >A weird, life altering massage.

                                            >Yeah, it's really not like a massage at all the more you think of it.

                                            >You groan, trying to clear your mind of any further weird or confused thoughts.


                                            >After a while the chair disappears, sending you falling.

                                            >Your body already feels super weird.

                                            >As you groan to yourself, you notice your voice.

                                            >It's a much higher pitch, but not as high as you expected.

                                            >When Discord mentioned parenting, you sort of assumed you'd be some squeaky little brat.

                                            >You sound more like a pre teen at the very least.

                                            >A mirror suddenly appears out of nowhere right in front of you.

                                            >You're… certainly different.

                                            >Almost every strange little body part Discord has, you have.

                                            >Your body is long and lanky, and even flexing one of your altered digits feels strange beyond belief.

                                            >It's like they've been asleep for years, and you're just now trying to wake them up again.

                                            >You have a mane of wild white fur, looks almost like a head of human hair.

                                            >Really accents your big, twitchy eyes.


                                            >You glance over at Discord, who is wiping a cartoony, most likely fake, tear from his eye.

                                            >”You look perfect Anon! I must say I've outdone myself!”

                                            >You roll your eyes.

                                            “Whatever Dad…”

                                            >Wait. What the hell did you just call him?

                                            >He picks up on your shock right away and chuckles.

                                            >”We can't have a daughter calling their father by their name, can we?”

                                            >The best you can do is scowl at Discord.

                                            >He's made you into a young, female draconequus, and is forcing you to call him “Dad”.

                                            “This had better not have some weird sexual undertone”

                                            >Always one for theatrics, Discord swoons. >”Why I'd never Anon! I enjoy chaos, not… how do they describe it in your home world?”

                                            >With a sigh, you humor him.

                                            “Weird kinks?”

                                            >They shrug at that.

                                            >”Sounds right enough to me!”

                                            >This is going to be a very taxing existence, you can tell already.


                                            >Discord snaps his finger, and you're suddenly no longer in the lush forest you had found yourself in.

                                            >Because you can’t just have a few minutes to adjust or anything.

                                            >You sigh as you look around.

                                            >It’s a room, one with overwhelming amounts of pink in it.

                                            >Like, pink walls, a pink bed, pink, pink, pink.

                                            >It could be worse though, at least Discord was merciful enough to make it pastels in lieu of neon pink.

                                            >Speaking of you “father”, there’s a piece of paper on the bed.

                                            >You have a little trouble walking at first, not at all used to this body.

                                            >Pink carpets do not break falls all that well as you’ve come to learn.

                                            >Thankfully you’re a fast learner, and after you pick yourself up off the floor, you manage to make it to your bed.

                                            >”Dear Eris” begins the letter.

                                            >”I do hope you don’t mind the name change, “Anon” was just so unfitting!”

                                            >You almost begin to vocalize a complaint before remembering this a letter.

                                            >Then again, knowing Discord, he could very well be watching.

                                            >So, to be safe, you flip off the room.

                                            >Thankfully your weird new hands managed to replicate a middle finger half decently.

                                            >With that over with, you continue the letter.


                                            >”Now, I have never had a daughter before, so do forgive me if I made any errors in your room decor. I’m going off a series of hunches and inferences here you know!”

                                            >It’s like you can almost hear the smug enjoyment in his voice.

                                            >He is probably watching you right now, laughing his ass off.

                                            >You crane your head around, scowling.

                                            >Nothing /looks/ like Discord in disguise.

                                            >Then again, if it’s a disguise, it shouldn’t be easy to tell if it is a disguise.

                                            >Maybe you have something of a paranoia problem.

                                            >But you can focus on your slipping sanity later, you’ve got more pressing issues.

                                            >Like, where the fuck are you right now?

                                            >Where did Discord live again?

                                            >Your room conveniently lacks any windows.

                                            E: “Oh come the fuck on Dad!”

                                            >Discord’s voice echoes in your head, because why not add on to horrible things about being here right now?

                                            >”Now, now Eris, that’s no way to speak to your father! You’re lucky I even let you keep the ability to swear!”

                                            E: “Well, if you’re /so/ offended by it, why let me keep it?”

                                            >Oh fuck you sound like a bratty preteen right now.

                                            >Note to self, do not, you repeat, do not allow yourself to slip into such behavior.

                                            >”Well, I’m sure you’ll find something fun with the capability down the line, so why not?”

                                            >You roll your eyes.

                                            >Something that you feel is going to be a very common thing for you now.


                                            >At least your bed is soft.

                                            >Granted that’s a shitty silver lining right about now, but that’s all you’ve got.

                                            >As you lie down in it, you can’t help but look over your body.

                                            >It’s so unnatural.

                                            >Granted, that’s the point, but you don’t have to appreciate that.

                                            >What the hell are you going to do with yourself?

                                            >What the hell are you going to do about “Dad”?

                                            >What /can/ you do?

                                            >Not much, at least, not much you can see.

                                            >Discord chose you why exactly?

                                            >Because you sometimes get your kicks on being a dick?

                                            >So what?

                                            >Why not get some anarchist?

                                            >Or just about anyone who actually revels in chaos.

                                            >You’re just a hobbyist at most.

                                            >But, that was apparently exactly what Discord wanted in their child, because here you are.

                                            >How old even are you?

                                            >Where the hell are you?

                                            >Why did it have to be fucking pink?

                                            >Your mind is swimming with questions.

                                            >So, you decide to answer the with a big fuck you by going to sleep.

                                            >Do Draconequus need sleep?

                                            >Who the fuck cares, you’re doing it anyways.


                                            >Turns out you can and do sleep.

                                            >That's nice, sleep is a damn good time sink.

                                            >When you wake up, you notice you've been covered by a blanket.

                                            >You had just kind of fell asleep on top of the bed, not really covering yourself.

                                            >Did Discord do this?

                                            >Who else would have?

                                            >At least he isn't being a complete ass about all of this.

                                            >Once you feel at least somewhat awake, you reach over for your phone to check the time.

                                            >But, no phone.

                                            E: “Riiight…”

                                            >You sigh softly, laying back down.

                                            >Equestria doesn't have iPhones.

                                            >It's an obvious statement when you think about it, but in the moment you weren't thinking about that.

                                            >However, there is /one/ more silver lining that you see.

                                            >It even puts a small grin on your face.

                                            >No work to get up and go to.

                                            >You throw your blanket back over your body.

                                            >Why the hell wouldn't you get more sleep?

                                            >Sleep fucking rocks.


                                            >Your second round of sleep goes a little quicker.

                                            >In all honesty you weren't even that tired when you went back to sleep in the first place.

                                            >So it's not all that surprising you only slept for…

                                            >Well, you aren't sure how long, but it felt short.

                                            >As you sit up, you notice another letter.

                                            >What, does Discord just come in whenever you're asleep?

                                            >Do they even come in at all?

                                            >That's two more questions for your running list.

                                            >You'll have to write these down soon, but first, might as well read your note.

                                            >”Dear Eris, I'm sure you're wondering when you'll get to leave your room.”

                                            >Honestly, that's not your biggest concern right now, but it is a decent one.

                                            >”Seeing as how unadjusted you are, it would be cruel to simply throw you into social interaction and the like! Thus, you'll be staying at home for a while.”

                                            >It's not like you expected much in terms of personal freedom anyways.

                                            >But, how long /is/ it going to take?

                                            >You aren't exactly eager to go out and socialize, but being cooped up in here forever doesn't sound all that appealing.


                                            >While you are in here though, you had best make the most of it.

                                            >Surely there's something in here to keep you occupied.

                                            >You start rummaging around in drawers and the like, looking for anything.

                                            >So far no luck.

                                            >It almost looks like other than furniture the room is empty.

                                            >That just won't do.

                                            >You /need/ to have something to do.

                                            >You can already feel the cabin fever setting in.

                                            >That or the boredom.

                                            >Or both!

                                            E: “Um… Dad? You wouldn't happen to have forgotten, y’know, entertainment did you?”

                                            >Silence is all that greets you.

                                            >Because when you want to talk, of course he isn't here!

                                            >Feeling more than a little upset, you sit back down on your bed.

                                            >Just now do you notice the book on your nightstand.

                                            >Has it been there this whole time or did Discord just now put it there?

                                            >Doesn't matter, it's something to do.


                                            >You grab the book, grasping it eagerly with your hand.

                                            >Claw? Talon?

                                            >Whatever, it's, for all extensive purposes, a hand.

                                            >”A Condensed History of Chaos: Vol. I”

                                            >What did you expect from Discord?

                                            >Of course this would be the book you get.

                                            >You're half tempted to just toss it aside, but it is something to do.

                                            >So you start reading.

                                            >The book is exactly what the cover said.

                                            >It's a recounting of chaotic events all told in anecdotal form.

                                            >Based on the writing style alone you could confidently assume Discord wrote this.

                                            >How much free time does he have on his hands anyways to be able to do stuff like this?

                                            >Yet another question for the list.

                                            >All things considered, the book is a relatively good read so far.

                                            >It's not difficult to comprehend, and admittedly Discord does have a fun style of humor in his narration.

                                            >You've chuckled a decent bit so far in this first chapter alone.

                                            >Not bad, not bad at all.


                                            >”And it was then, that due to a simple swapping of plates at a dinner, that a deep resentment grew in the two warlords. Now, for warlords, they had waged very little war for a /long/ time. Thankfully, something so simple was able to fix that!”

                                            >You’ve lost track of time as you begin Chapter Four of the book.

                                            >This one is on “Murphy’s Law and You! How The Worst Thing Can Be the Best!”

                                            >Like how with these two rival clans, everything went absolutely wrong, starting with a mix up at a meal, and ending with both clans being wiped out.

                                            >Pretty metal shit for some fucking ponies.

                                            >But, as you’ve come to learn through these three and a half chapters of content, there have been countless historical events never even touched by the show.

                                            >Discord’s seen it all, well mostly.

                                            >Their scope is far from infinite, but they have a rather /unique/ window into the world.

                                            >Something in you relates to how Discord views things in this.

                                            >Like, normally you wouldn’t find the accidental death of a warlord’s spouse while visiting a rival clan anything other than another bit of tragic history.

                                            >But there’s some beauty in the irony of all of this.

                                            >Both sides were trying to make things right, and it only got worse and worse!

                                            >It actually coaxes a loud laugh from you.

                                            >The hearty laugh throws you off, it was so… energetic.

                                            >Suddenly feeling weird, you set the book aside.

                                            >You’ve had enough.

                                            >You do however quickly slide one of Discord’s notes into the book to keep your place.

                                            >You’ve had enough… for /now/.