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Knights in Equestria

By SSA
Created: 2021-07-16 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-07-03 00:58:28
Expiry: Never
anon/rgre/promptknights

  1. >In the Truly Ancient times, humans and horses lived side by side in Harmony.
  2. >A herd was considered incomplete if it did not contain at least four mares, one stallion, and one human of either sex.
  3. >The mares would consist of one pegasus, one unicorn, one earth horse, and one alicorn.
  4. >The stallions, in those days, were all alicorns, to better fertilize their herds.
  5. >These herds would roam together, hunt together, and fight demons of darkness together.
  6. >The human male would be armored in linen, rings of metal, and plates of metal.
  7. >The mares would be barded similarly, and the human male would ride atop the back of the earth horse.
  8. >With lance and bow; sword and magic; wind and metal; they would carve out their living space from the ever encroaching dark.
  9. >The horses of the time were bigger than modern ponies, and they seemed to have great and terrible magics.
  10. >Modern ponies know of these things only because of the First Cavern. An artificial cave system where fossil records seem to indicate many herds lived for a very, very long time.
  11. >Scientists believe that the humans and horses parted ways during the Great Carnivore Exodus, supported by the fact that the geological record indicates decades of nearly no rain in the area.. It is further believed that those humans eventually became modern day Minotaurs, as their body structure is nearly identical.
  12. >The ponies that know of this history believed that those great and terrible times would never come again.
  13. >But there have been more villains in the last decade than in the entire millennia previous.
  14. >Alicorns are being born again.
  15. >Ponies, as a whole, are becoming more powerful.
  16. >A pegasus had done a rainboom, something thought of only as a legend.
  17. >Earth ponies can throw boulders like they’re pebbles.
  18. >Unicorns are tearing open dimensional rifts.
  19. >And out of one of these rifts steps a group of creatures thought long extinct.
  20. >Metal clad bipeds. Linen clad females with huge teats, wagons, and horses, that ancient, extinct precursor to ponies.
  21. >There are over a hundred of them, and they’re camped about half a day's walk south west of ponyville.
  22.  
  23. >Be Anon, landed and titled noble of what’s left of the Holy Roman Empire, last of the house of Mous.
  24. >You’ve arrived with your wagon train, your loyal knights, and your camp followers to this luscious new land that you plan to make your new town. It was a gift to you, after all, from the Emperor himself after you helped him spit out that chicken bone he was choking on.
  25. >This is an excellent spot. There are some mountains to the north, a nice forest to the west and what appears to be a little village a ways off to the north east.
  26. >You can establish trade with them, find out what sorts of markets exist in this area, and begin your town.
  27. >You smile, today is an excellent day!
  28.  
  29. >>>>>
  30.  
  31. Background:
  32. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65TV8jhp9Ns&t=140s
  33.  
  34. “Incognito, Pseudonym!”
  35. >Your friends/subordinates ride up alongside you.
  36. “Incog, we need water. Get the horses unsaddled and grab everyone’s waterskins. Take your boys and fill them up. Pseudo, we’re going to need firewood and we’ll have to start cutting down logs when we want to build more permanent housing. Take the woodsmen into that forest.”
  37. >You got down from your dark coated mare, Dusk, and patted her on the withers. She wasn’t a warhorse, but she’d carry a man in full armor for two weeks with nary a complaint.
  38. “Goodwife Bechte!” You called, looking around for the crotchety old woman who ran the camp with an iron ladle that she had hit you with on more than one occasion, baron or no.
  39. >”Keep your britches on, I’m comin’! These old bones don’t move as well as they used to, y’know.”
  40. You strode up to her quickly, since it would be faster, “Set out the tents and cooking equipment, if you will. This shall be our new home.”
  41. >She looks around, “Coulda been closer to the river, y’know.”
  42. You nod, “We could, but Gustav said that the soil here will be better. We’re going to be growing many different crops since we’re planning to isolate ourselves for ten years while the plague runs its course. The only one who knows we’re out here is the Emperor himself, so we shouldn’t get any visitors.”
  43. >”And what of the town over yonder?”
  44. “No doubt Bernard and Katherine are already scouting it out. If the plague festers there they will know and return without entering into that miasma.”
  45. >”We are downstream of them, m'lord. Never a good idea, but in these times a worse one still.”
  46. “Hmm, we may have to dig a well. Dammit! I already sent Incog to get water from the river!” You dart to your horse and you’re off at a gallop. Incognito was less than halfway to the river along with his two aides. He was half out of his armour and walked along with his two aides, the boys hopping around and roughhousing as teen boys were want to do. “Incog!”
  47. >The three stop and look back at you as you gallop up. Dusk is panting heavily, even a short gallop with a man in full armor is tiring for a horse.
  48. “We should wait for Bernard and Katherine to return from the town before we collect water. They’re upstream of us, and so the water might be tainted with their filth.”
  49. >Incognito nods at this wisdom, “Perhaps the woodsmen will find a spring or stream in the woods we can use if the town is sick.”
  50. You nod, “We could also dig a well. We probably will. The real question is if we should put up a palisade before we start building houses.”
  51. >Incog shakes his head, “A ditch alone should slow down any deserters long enough for us to get our bows.”
  52. “I’m not worried about an attack, there are too many of us. I’m worried about them sneaking in and stealing our food.”
  53. >”Could always set a watch. Twelve men is enough to guard a group as small as ours, especially considering every man, woman, and child was taught the basics of wielding a spear and shield.”
  54. “I’ll still feel better once we have a proper camp set up. We might be far from anywhere important, but these lands are well populated due to the ease of farming. A perfect place for vagabonds and miscreants.”
  55. >Incog shrugs, “Speaking of vagabonds, ours are approaching quite quickly.”
  56. >Dust rose in the near distance, at the front of the cloud a pair of horses sprinted towards us, a man on one and a woman on the other, both in simple peasant garb. Your scouts/spies.
  57. “Hmm, no reason for them to be riding that hard unless they’re being chased. Spears out everyone.”
  58. >You mounted up, pulling the spear from it’s holding loops, and lead Incognito’s horse away with your own. Incognito and his two aides formed up in a short line with their spears pointing at the advancing horses.
  59. >If there was an enemy you would get a charge up and hit them just before they reached Incognito, whereupon they would finish any attacker off, if they didn’t turn and run the second they saw three armed people in their way.
  60. >Bernard and Katherine blow past the three men and beeline for you, pulling up just short of where you’re positioned.
  61. >”My lord, strange tidings!” Bernard starts.
  62. >”The town is full of fae creatures!” Katherine exclaims quite excitedly.
  63. You blink at the two of them. Well, perhaps today just became much more interesting, and it was already a good day!
  64. “What kinds of fae? Cyclops? Griffins? Fair folk?”
  65. “I see a pegasus, lordship! A little one, ‘bout as big as a big dog!” Katherine points upwards.
  66. >Following her pointing finger you see what appears to be a few large birds in the sky high above you. They are a bit oddly shaped, but you’re not sure if you’d call them Pegasus. Pegasus was a large horse, after all, and there was only one, every well read scholar knew that.
  67. >”And I saw a unicorn!” Bernard added, “Strange thing, t’was purple, if you can believe it.”
  68. “Oh now you’re playing me for a fool. Unicorns don't come east of the Rhine, everyone knows that!”
  69. >”Look with your own eyes, m'lord, here it comes now!”
  70. >Indeed, trotting along in the distance is a group of colourful figures. You couldn’t actually make out what they are at this distance, but you could tell that they were rather small. You walk your horse over to Incognito, the two scouts and incogs horse following.
  71. “So, what do you make of that?”
  72. >He just raises an eyebrow, “I don’t get paid enough to deal with magic.”
  73. “Technically, you aren’t being paid at all right now.”
  74. >”You’re lucky I trust your word of an easy life lazing about in a fort and chasing off the occasional ruffian, Anon.”
  75. You snort, “You’ll get your easy life, just try not to turn all that muscle to fat before we get settled.”
  76. >”No worries there, Bechte will have all the soldiers chopping wood and digging holes for the next month if we let her.”
  77. You grunt, “With the river so far emptying the chamber pots is going to be a right chore. Mayhap I can get the carpenters and stone layers to make us an aqueduct.”
  78. >Incog laughs, “You and your aqueduct. You’re not some roman emperor Anon, be happy with what you have.”
  79. “I’ll be happy when I can shit and not have to smell the remnants.”
  80. >”Oh, look at the prissy prince, goes off to university and now he’s too good to sniff his own shit.”
  81. “Hey! I’ll have you know that my higher education is why I’m a baron and you are but a corporal.”
  82. >Incog waves his hand, “You got lucky, the emperor would give a dutchy to a maid for the pleasure of lifting her skirt.”
  83. “Still, you know I’m the best to lead this place. Had you or Pseudo been left with the money to entice the people to start a new town all of it would have been spent of whores and spirits afore we left Prague.”
  84. >”And a damn fine use it would have been, too. Many a fine whore in Prague. What do me and the boys have here? Nary a woman unwed, and those yet girls, and not even fine ones at that.”
  85. “You knew what you were getting into. If it’s a wet hole you want then go fuck your mare, you stallion.” You chuckle.
  86. >Incognito rolls his eyes and scoffs. The lads and I had been calling him a horsefucker ever since he’d been caught naked in the stables. He’d claimed he was drunk, and he probably was, but that didn’t stop us.
  87. “Looks like these fae are getting close enough to speak to us. Boys,” You address Incog’s aides, “Mouths shut, we won’t know what strange or terrible magics they may have, they might be able to steal your voice if you aren’t careful.”
  88.  
  89. Background:
  90. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XxEhuSJF780
  91.  
  92. >”Strange creatures,” Incog comments, “All sorts of colours, and strangely shaped. Think they’re a strange breed of faerie hound?”
  93. “We’ll see.”
  94. >You dismount, pulling your sword off Dusk and tossing the baldric over your shoulder. You pull your shield off her saddle bag and hold it loosely as you lower your visor, just in case. You and Incog take several steps forward toward the creatures. They stop some five paces from you. There are four of them at first, then the two birds that were circling above drop down to stand to either side of them.
  95. >The purple one in the center, which you now see has a horn growing from its head, begins speaking in a foreign language.
  96. >You have no idea what she’s saying. It’s not german, latin, or greek, that’s for sure. The language at least sounded familiar. You’re sure you heard it being spoken back at university and in the Emperor’s court.
  97. “Incog, any idea what it’s saying?”
  98. >”Not a clue, but I do know what language it’s speaking. That’s English, if I’m not mistaken.”
  99. >The name sparks a memory, and yes, that does have the cadence of English.
  100. “Does anyone in camp speak English?”
  101. >”The widow, Helga, does. Her late husband was English.”
  102. “Katherine, Barnard, go fetch Helga. Take the boys and Incog's horse with you. Also tell whichever soldier is around to fetch Pseudo and get the men together and ready, we don’t know what might come of this.”
  103. >The creatures grow more agitated and attempt to talk to you again. You tell them that you don’t understand and they seem to get the message, or at least figure out that you don’t speak the same language.
  104. >As your scouts and aides begin to leave the blue one slaps its wings and takes off. You can’t allow these creatures to approach the camp without knowing their intentions so you hold your hands out in the universal gesture of ‘hold on.’
  105. >They look at you for a moment before the blue one starts to move. You step forward and reinforce your gesture. Then you point at the blue one and at the ground.
  106. >Their expressions are easy to read, she looks annoyed and says something.
  107. >The purple one says something as well and the blue one lands, grumbling. You step back. The creatures deliberate between themselves before the white one steps forward and speaks in what you know is french, though you can’t speak any.
  108. “You know any French, Incog?”
  109. >”Only the phrase, ‘I do not speak French.’”
  110. “Try it.”
  111. >”Je ne parle pas français”
  112. >They seem excited, and the white one speaks in halting french but Incog shakes his head, he doesn’t know any more French.
  113. >They talk among themselves. You take the time to examine them. The tallest, the yellow one, tops out at your belly button. The shortest, the blue one, tops out at about your groin. They are all brightly coloured and immaculately clean. Two of them have horns and two have wings. You can understand why Katherine called the Pegasus and Unicorn, as their vague shape is equine, but the details are wrong.
  114. >Firstly they have faces more reminiscent of dogs. Front facing eyes and square-ish muzzles, though their nose is fur covered and rounded like a proper horse. They also appear to have lips, like a person, though the skin of them blends with their fur so readily that it’s difficult to discern.
  115. >They have huge heads of hair atop their skulls that spill out in front and behind their ears that are a mix between a dog’s, cat’s, and horse’s. Their faces are incredibly expressive. Their brows, eyes, and mouths move to show smiles, frowns, and looks of puzzlement. Their ears, and if they have them, wings, are equally expressive.
  116. >Their ears flick towards whoever is speaking. If you move and clink your armour they flick towards you. Like a horse they pin their ears back if they are scolded, like the blue one apparently was, and the pink one waggles her ears back and forth as she speaks. She makes the orange one laugh and it’s an uncomfortably human sound.
  117. >The winged ones would puff out their feathers like birds, or hold their wings straight up, or droop them down to express themselves as they spoke. This doesn’t even cover what they did with their… hooves? Feet? Their legs seemed to terminate with a cylinder of flesh pressed flat to the ground. Like an…… elephant! Like that picture of an arabian elephant you saw in your history class when you were talking about Hannibal! How odd!
  118. >Their necks and the placement of their head is strange, as it appears that their head is straight up from their ‘chest’ unlike any creature you’ve seen. Their spine must be very strange, if you remember your medical texts correctly. Their chests contained big fuzzy fur balls like a well groomed persian cat was living there.
  119. >When they were side-on the horse comparison was clearer. They had huge long tails made of hairs like a horse’s. They each had a brand on their upper back legs. One had three apples, another had three butterflies, still a third had a strange star. Like their colourful coats the brands were colourful rather than burned into their flesh.
  120. >Their back legs were the strangest yet. They had a thigh like a horse, but their ‘shin’ was extremely short and was almost horizontal to the ground. Then what would be the ‘foot’ on a person was extremely long and as thick as their front legs rather than tapering like a normal horse, ending in a foot like an elephant’s just as their front did.
  121. >To be honest they looked almost like toys that a mother might carve for her young sons and daughters. Caricatures of horses meant to be cuter than the real thing.
  122. >Then you got a look at the yellow one from the back and… woof. From the top of the tail to the top of the ‘ankle’ looked almost exactly like a human woman who was bent over. Luscious ass cheeks and thick thighs. Its sex barely hidden behind its pink tail.
  123. >Wow, if you weren’t careful Incog wouldn’t be the only horse fucker in camp.
  124. >Back to examining… not like that.
  125. >They didn’t move like animals either. They rolled their shoulders and hips, twisted their feet in ways that most animals couldn’t. They also did something else. With a glow of the purple one’s horn she summoned a book in front of her.
  126. >Instantly you and Incog were three steps back, swords out, shoulder to shoulder. Was she some kind of fae witch? If she tried to cast a spell you would have to charge, you are unsure what blight she might inflict upon you.
  127. >Then it started speaking. A single line in a language, then another line in another language. You were about to charge when it said, “Do you speak Ger-hair?”
  128. “What?” You asked intelligently, really showing off that university education.
  129. >“Do you speak Ger-hair?” It repeats.
  130. “I don’t speak Ger-hair, but I do speak German.”
  131. >All the little creatures grew excited, stomping their little elephant feet. After a moment of reading the purple one starts speaking. “Hello, I am [Twilight Sparkle], right now I don’t know what I’m saying. This book is used to help me figure out what language you speak so that I can get a translator, which I am going to do now…” She reads further through the book, “Please wait a moment while I contact someone who can translate…” She smiles at you.
  132. “Well, ok, we’ll be right here, so long as you don’t go towards our camp.”
  133. >”Anon, they have no idea what you’re saying.” Incog says as the creatures give you that smiles that people give other people when they’re completely lost in a conversation.
  134. “Right. Well, we don’t need a translator, here comes Helga now.”
  135. >The woman is a decade your senior but looks older. Being a single mother and working a farm with only your fourteen year old son to help you will do that to a woman. “What do you want, Anon?” She asks in her crotchety voice, “I just got the stew on when Katherine here,” She pokes the younger woman in the ribs, “Tells me that weird fae have appeared speaking English of all things.”
  136. “Take a look for yourself.” You gesture at the creatures who are looking at the newcomer with curiosity.
  137. >”... Weird little things, aren’t they. cute though, look good for petting. Bet Leopold would enjoy a replacement for the dog.”
  138. “Perhaps, but first we need to speak to them. Incog thinks they speak English.”
  139. >”Can they?” She switches tongues and shouts over to the group.
  140. >They excitedly stop their feet, the pink one bounces around, and the purple one grins as wide as her face and begins rattling off in speedy English, you suppose.
  141. >Helga is evidently having trouble keeping up with a language she probably hasn’t spoken in many years. There are a couple stops and starts but eventually the purple one is speaking slowly enough for Helga to translate.
  142. >”She - they’re all female, by the way - she says that she’s very glad to meet us and she wants to know where we come from and if we mean them harm. I told her that we aren’t here to hurt anyone, I hope that’s ok.”
  143. You wave, “It’s fine.”
  144. >”She says that they’re called little horses, or ponies if you will. They call those ones,” She points to the winged creatures, “Pegasai, and those,” The horned ones, “Are unicorns.”
  145. >”HAH! I knew it!” Katherine butts in.
  146. >”She says she already knows we’re human, which is strange since, y’know, we’re obviously humans and not, like, sea dragons or something. She wants to know how many we are and if we need any help. Quite friendly little things, I’d say. Especially the pink one, whose name I think translates to Pink Pie. They all have strange names like that. Pink wants to throw us a feast for coming to the area. She’s quite insistent.”
  147. “We’ll consider it. Ask them about the plague, is there any in their village, or any village hereabouts?”
  148.  
  149. (At this point I’m going to write this as if Twilight and Anon are talking to each other directly for ease of reading and writing.)
  150.  
  151. >”No, there hasn’t been a plague in Equestria for over five hundred years.” Twilight squints at you, “Do YOU have a plague?”
  152. “No, we are all plague free. Is ‘Equestria’ your fae lands?”
  153. >”Yes, this is Equestria. Over there is Ponyville, where we live. Where did you come from that there is a plague?”
  154. >Hmm, how best to say this to a fae who has apparently never seen the human world?
  155. “A plague is overrunning the kingdoms of man. We left it behind when we came out to this remote place. We plan to live here for the next ten years before sending our scouts back to Munich to see if the plague has gone.”
  156. >”Where’s Munich? We don’t have anything named that in Equestria.”
  157. “Through the apparently enchanted woods.” You point at the woods to the east. There was actually the river between you and the woods, which is weird, since you never forded the river. Odd. Eh, it’s magic, what you gonna do?
  158. >”You got here through the Everfree Forest?” She seemed distraught, her feet tapping anxiously.
  159. “T’was an easy journey, no bandits or deserters accosted us. We arrived here - in our new home - without incident.” Better establish your claim on the land early.
  160. >At this point Helga is complaining about a sore throat, having to translate back and forth. The last thing the fae says to you before leaving is: “We’ll go get our princess and she’ll talk this out with you.”
  161. >A princess, huh? A fae princess at that, someone whose title translates to ‘the sun bringer’ as far as Helga could say. You heard the name too, and its latin roots translate to ‘sky’ or ‘heaven’.
  162. >You would have to be careful of your speech and actions, as well as your dress. You would need to present a commanding but not necessarily threatening appearance. You were going to press your claim, though she might not at first agree that your claim is valid, since these lands are clearly inhabited by fae, but they were still within the Kingdom of Germany, meaning that any princess would have to submit to the king and definitely the emperor.
  163. >You returned to camp, setting Incog back to his water gathering mission since the fae didn’t have the plague. Katherine and Bernard became camp lookouts, standing atop the circle of wagons and calling out when they saw something.
  164. >The blue pegasus perched herself up on a cloud out of bowshot of the camp and kept watch on you in turn.
  165. >In the time between the ending of your first meeting with the fae and dusk little happened. Your camp got situated, the tents were up, the stew was hot, everyone had water, and a temporary latrine had been dug halfway between the camp and the river.
  166. >After the sun set and the moon rose there was a call from Katherine, “Looks like their princess acted quickly, my lord! Looks like about a hundred of the ponies coming this way bearing the flag of parley!”
  167. >You looked up from the rough dirt map that one of the farmer’s was using to explain where certain farms should go. That was incredibly quick. Did the princess live in the village? Was she nearby on campaign?
  168. “Gather Psudo, Helga, and Betche! Tell them to put on their finest!” You charged into your tent where your aides were still organizing your meager possession, “Boys, I need the finest garb you can unpack in a hurry, I need to parlay with a princess!”
  169. >Your aides scrambled to get everything ready. They were able to find a white shirt, a black doublet and black hose. Not nearly ostentatious enough, but they were soft and high quality Breeches go overtop and your soft indoor boots are slid on.
  170. >In a stroke of luck they are able to find your soft, silk white gloves with the symbol of the House of Mous on it, the pitch black question mark. They also found your deep green cape with the same mark on the back.
  171. >You wouldn’t be caught dead wearing this to an official function, but to a surprise parlay with a potentially hostile fae? It’ll do.
  172. “Gunther, grab the Emperor’s writ and follow me.”
  173. >Striding out of your tent you see that the others are already arrayed. Helga and Betche are in their best gowns, which isn’t saying much considering their station. Pseudonym was able to actually find his court attire, so he’s decked out in a mix of deep blue, yellow, and black. Lucky bastard, having grown up where they make dyes gave him a better colour palette to work with.
  174. >Stepping out from the circle of wagons surrounding the camp you see them easily about three hundred paces out of camp.
  175. >At their center stood a pure white pony. Next to it was a shorter, darker pony, difficult to see in the moonlight. Next to it was a pink pony and at its side another pure white one. The white and pink ones were wearing simple barding made of gold and adorned with jewels. The smallest white one was wearing a more full set of barding, though it still left many gaps in the armour.
  176. >You would have called it ceremonial dress were it not for the fact that to the left and right of the four central figures were two squares of ponies five wide and at least three deep.
  177.  
  178. Background:
  179. https://youtu.be/xQfFH3bUaIc?list=PL1HqiPCyu4Q8MLnFk4MCqrYX1o90SLyty
  180.  
  181. >The horn of the large white was was glowing with a yellow light, her fae magics holding a long pole waving the white flag of truce. Pseudonym was holding a long length of dowling with a mostly white-ish shirt hanging limply from where it was tied at the top.
  182. >You began walking out into the field and across from you the four central figures did the same.
  183. >You stopped a half dozen paces apart and your two groups surveyed each other.
  184. >The largest one, the white, was nearly your height. The dark blue one was a little shorter. The pink one was only a little bit taller than the small white one who is of a height to look you in the belt buckle.
  185. >The two larger ponies had strange, ethereal manes that flowed in an unseen wind. The white’s like an aurora, the blue’s like the night sky had come down to rest upon her brow.
  186. >The large white one begins speaking, her voice is deep, though still feminine, and motherly in tone, “My student tells me that you speak Ger-hair. Is this correct, can you understand me?”
  187. You nod, “I can. May I presume that you are the sun bringer, the princess that the one called Twilight spoke of?”
  188. >”I am Princess Celestia, and this,” She indicates the darker horse to her right, “Is Princess Luna. To her right is Princess Cadance and to her right is Prince Shining Armor. I’m afraid that I am the only one that can speak this language, but I was told that you had one among you that could speak [Equish].”
  189. “Helga,” You indicate the woman, “can speak your language, though she cannot make any binding agreements for anyone, even herself, as everyone in my camp has pledged themselves to my service for the next ten years.”
  190. >Helga bows to the fae, “It is a pleasure to meet Your Highness, I hope that this simple woman does not say anything to offend. If she does she begs your pardon, as I am unused to addressing royalty.”
  191. >Celesita smiles and nods to the woman, “No offense will be taken, Helga, please speak freely to my sister, niece, and nephew-in-law.”
  192. >Interesting, the fact that the smallest two were not her direct family indicates that they were likely visiting royalty from another country. So you were not talking to one kingdom, but two.
  193. “I should ask, Princess, before we begin. Do you and your party speak for the reigning monarch of your lands?”
  194. >The princess smiles, “I, and my sister here, are the reigning diarchy of Equestria. I can understand the confusion but for political purposes Equestria can never have a king or queen.”
  195. >You hum, you knew all about politics making people do stupid shit.
  196. >”Shall we sit?” The princess asks, indicating a table with four chairs on either side of it that wasn’t there a minute ago. Upon the table are plates of scones, cups of tea, and two teapots filled with steaming liquid. A pair of candles lights the entire thing.
  197. “Of course.” You agree, and the eight of you arrange yourselves around the table. Celestia pours tea for herself, you, her sister, and Pseudonym. She and her sister take the first sips followed by Pseudonym. You follow after none of them drop dead and hope that fae magic can’t poison a cup.
  198. >Celestia says something in English and after a second the one called Cadance begins speaking with Helga.
  199. >”Now, Anon, I believe you said your name was, I’m sure you know why I’m here.”
  200. >Nice try, princess, but you’re not going to fall for that.
  201. “Why of course, you’ve come to beg my leave to court one of my aides.” You grin, “Now, they’re just boys but I know how you fae love them so, but I must ask that you wait until they are fully grown before taking them back to your ‘grove of wonders’ and showing them your ‘cavern of carnal delights.’”
  202. >The fae blinks at you for a second, looks over at the boy standing behind and to the right of your chair, and bursts out laughing. “You are a delightful young colt, such fire hasn’t been seen in your gender in an age! I can tell that this will be far more enjoyable than I had thought.”
  203. >You lean back in your chair and smile, the fae enjoyed jokes, that’s good.
  204. >”That isn’t quite what I’m here for, though if you wish to see how I court someone I could show you personally~”
  205. >You swallow thickly. While her form might be strange her voice and tone stir things deep in you.
  206. “A Princess, courting a lowly Baron? Surely you jest, Your Highness.”
  207. >She looks at you with hooded eyes, “I do no such thing, my good [human]. I could show you realms of pleasure no mortal has ever known.”
  208. >Is it hot out here, or is it just her?
  209. “Ahem, while your offer is tempting, I think that you must first recognize me as a peer, if nothing else.” You hold your hand off and your aide, Gustov, places the Emperor’s writ in it. You place the paper down between you. “Here I have official documentation that I, Anon Y. Mous, may lay claim any unoccupied land west of Munich and south of Stuttgart. I may lay claim to the area needed for my town and all farming, hunting, fishing, mining, and other such sundry land uses in the area with a two mile buffer between my town and any other currently active parcel of land. Your nearest town is well beyond those two miles, so you will find that my claim is valid.” You push the rolled up parchment toward her.
  210. >The pony quirks her mouth in a little half smile, “Oh? There is no Munich or Stuttgart in my lands, therefore you must be much farther from home than you thought.” She gently nudges the parchment back towards you.
  211. “Ah, but we left Munich not but ten days ago and traveled straight west, therefore we are still within the Holy Roman Empire, therefore my claim stands.” You push the parchment forward.
  212. >”I’ve not heard of any emperor. If he lays claim to my lands then he should have told me so himself. And that’s only IF I decide to listen to the colt.” The parchment comes back
  213. ”You are but a princess, as I should not need to remind you, and subject to the rule of the King of German who pays tribute to the Emperor. It’s your duty to accept my claim.” The parchment goes forward.
  214. >She narrows her eyes at you, “My duty, is it? I think not. My duty is caring for my little ponies. Tell me, Baron Mous, how would letting you stake your claim help them.”
  215. >Good, she’s negotiating, meaning she just wants a good reason to say yes without looking like she’s getting the short end of the deal.
  216. “Well, I have a set of excellent craftspeople and farmers. I have seeds and cuttings collected from all over the world, given and taken from the stores of emperors. I have coffee and tobacco from the far east. I have wine grape seeds from the stores of the emperor himself! I have some of the finest wheat seed available in all the country.
  217. “But wait, there’s more. I have over a dozen men, battle hardened in the war, each of them were there for the battle and sacking of Prague. Nowhere else could you find a better set of men for showing off vagabonds, vagrants, and deserters.
  218. “And I, myself, have a Masters of the Liberal Arts. I am fluent in Latin and Greek as well was my native German. I have engineering texts copied from the vaunted libraries of Berlin and Cologne.
  219. “Princess, I say this with no boast or exaggeration, I have with me the finest the empire has to offer, and with your acceptance of my claim you will be enriching your people beyond your wildest dreams.” By the end of your speech you’re leaning over the table, staring straight into her magenta eyes.
  220. >She leans forward to match you, “I hope you’re right, Baron Mous, because my dreams can get *wild*.”
  221. You hope that your grin is wolfish and not trembling like your heart, “Try me.”
  222. >She leans back, and so do you, “I will, have no doubt. But you will need funds. I doubt you’ll be able to get everything you need to keep yourselves fed for the winter, since it’s late summer now. You probably won’t even get a crop in before winter. So I’ll give you a gift.” She waves her wing and a pair of what you assume to be honor guards come forward carrying a large chest.
  223. >The guards open it and you are struck dumb. It’s full - FULL - of gold coins. You were rich beyond anything you could imagine. There had to be a catch.
  224. “Your Highness, this is quite a bounty you’re offering. More than I’ve seen in my entire life. Are you sure you can spare this?”
  225. >She looks down at the chest, then back at you, “I think there’s been a misunderstanding here. This is enough to feed you and your people through the winter, certainly, but nothing beyond that…”
  226. “Highness… What is gold worth, here?”
  227. >”Gold? It’s practically worthless, Baron Mous, it’s why we make our money out of it. I assume it’s different where you’re from?”
  228. >You nod slowly. Her horn glows and she slowly brings up three gold coins that are identical except for what’s stamped on them. “This here is a bit, this is a ten bit coin, and this is a hundred bit coin. You could buy a pair of apples for a single bit. You can generally feed a pony with about twenty five bits a day at market prices. If you buy in bulk you can get that down to fifteen a day, and if you supplement your own food you could eventually drop that to zero.
  229. >“If my scouts are correct there are one hundred and fifteen humans, adults and children, in your camp, meaning you’re going to need about eighty thousand bits a month to feed yourselves, assuming you do nothing but buy food from the market.
  230. >“So for six months of food you’ll need some four hundred and eighty thousand bits. This chest contains that much, mostly in one hundred bit coins and five promissory notes for different banking establishments that can be found in Ponyville and Canterlot.
  231. >“Now, you might be thinking of this as a gift, and it is, in a way. I don’t expect to collect any interest on this money that I’m giving you. But I do expect you to pay back every single bit. Now, how you pay it back is up to you. Every time you help my little ponies I’ll expect less and less of this back in money.
  232. >“Now you might be wondering how you can help my little ponies, and you’ve already started. Meet with them. Talk with them. Get to know them and befriend them. Trade knowledge, show them how to grow your food and learn how they grow theirs. Employ them. My little ponies are industrious and I’m sure they can work well with you. I have already been told you have an affinity for equines, so it shouldn’t be difficult for you to do this.
  233. >“Enrich my little ponies, Anon, and they will enrich you, both with their kindness, and by making it so that you owe fewer bits.
  234. >“I ask that you refrain from doing certain things. Firstly, please do not give any of my little ponies weapons. I would not have you arming dissidents, Baron Mous. Second, do not give them any of your money, tools, clothing, or other items unique to humans. You can make things for them for trading, such as little wooden statues, or helping them build a barn, but do not give them your tools. I ask this because there are no humans in our lands, and anything you give away will quickly disappear into some vault somewhere, never to be seen again.
  235. >”So I’d like to make sure your things are properly preserved. We may never see another human again should you decide to leave us.”
  236. >You sit back. This is some heavy stuff. You had coin, but here in these lands it was technically useless. Gold was evidently as cheap as tin. Heck, that brass armour that the soldiers are wearing might actually be gold! Ridiculous.
  237. >If you took that chest back to Munich you’d be a king. If you didn’t die of the plague. No, better to stay here. But do you accept her ‘generosity’? Do you have a choice? Perhaps. You could frame it as wanting to see if you can stand on your own before asking for help.
  238. >No… You need the coin. But then you’re in debt to her. What could she ask you to do? These things always come with strings. You’ll have to work this carefully.
  239. “It’s such a generous offering, Your Highness, and your stipulations are understandable. However, I would like to make something clear.”
  240. >”And what is that, Baron Mous?”
  241. “I do not answer to you. My men, do not answer to you. You can make suggestions, or requests, but should you order us around like we’re your guards we will have to politely decline. We’ve already fought in one war, we are not going to go willingly into another.”
  242. >A darkness passes over her face, “Do you think you have the authority to make demands of me, colt? Perhaps I should take you back to my castle and teach you a stallion’s true place in the world.”
  243. >Her wicked smile turned mischievous, “I’ve not had some-pony to warm my bed in many years. You’re willful, and I like that, but I could still break you down. How do you feel about frilly aprons, Baron Mous? Because once I made you mine it’s the only thing you’d be wearing from then on.”
  244. >You shiver, this fae princess is perhaps the most dangerous woman you’ve ever met, and you’d met women who’ve killed hundreds, if the rumors are true. No, fear boner, go away!
  245. “While your offer of carnal passion is flattering, I’m afraid that my people need their leader, so I must decline, Your Highness.”
  246. >”A shame, that. Please, accept my gift, and I shall accept your claim, and we can be done for today. I’m sure we’d both like to find our beds.”
  247. You sigh, “I do accept, You Highness.”
  248. >She smiled serenely at you, “I’m glad. Now, I shall take a copy of this.” And suddenly there were two writs upon the table, “And I shall give you this.” A pendant on a chain floats over to you, “Your symbol of office. You needn’t wear it, but it will tell those who see it that you are a Baron of the Realm, useful for official seals and the like.” She stands and the other ponies follow her.
  249. >”It’s been a unique pleasure meeting a colt that can actually stand on equal ground with me. I’m sure this is the start of a beautiful friendship, Baron Mous.”
  250. >Celestia begins walking away and… and… and… Anon.exe has fucking STOPPED because LOOK. AT. THAT. ASS. It’s like two beautiful globes of pure white flesh, perfectly flared and tapering down to squishy thighs all barely hidden behind her aura tail.
  251. >And it’s not like she’s the only one. Her sister right next to her has that slender, graceful curve that though taller, thinner women have, just as nice. It’s like a fruit bowl full of grapes and plums. >Just, *muah*, top notch.
  252. >Now Pseudo was giving you the old side-eye.
  253. “Don’t look at me like that, you saw what I did.”
  254. >”Uh-huh. If it turns out that ‘Anon, the man too good for whores’ end up fucking a horse you’re never going to live it down.”
  255. “Shut up and help me with this chest, it weighs a tonne.”
  256. >This was shaping up to be more of an adventure than you thought it would be.
  257. “So, Helga, what did you learn about our strange magical friends?”
  258. >”They’re strange, lordship. The small pink one, Cadance, claims to be the [alicorn] of love. [Alicorn] being their word for the ones that have both wings and horns.”
  259. >You hum, trudging with your side of the chest as Pseudo huff with his.
  260. >“The blue one is [Luna] and she is apparently the daughter of the goddess Selene or something as she claims to move the moon. The small white one claims to be the prince of nothing in particular, though he mentioned that he was captain of the royal guard of Celestia before he married Cadance.”
  261. >”Hey, maybe her offer to marry you wasn’t just a joke, eh Anon?” Pseudo jokes.
  262. You scoff, “I’ve no time for marriage, Pseudo, I’ve a town to build.”
  263. >”You’re near thirty, Anon, you should find yourself a wife, you’re not a young man anymore.”
  264. “Ah, yes, and a fae creature that resembles a pack animal is the best way to do that.”
  265. >”Still a princess, odd appearance or not.”
  266. “Sure, Sude, right after you marry the blue one.”
  267. >The man laughs, “Thanks but no thanks, comrade, I like my women busty rather than leggy, thank you very much.”
  268. >”Will the two of you stop with the crude talk in front of us, we are ladies after all.” Betche interrupts.
  269. You give a dubious look at the crone and the matron, “Ladies? Where?”
  270. >”You’re not so old as to not taste my cane, boy.” Betche threatened. She’d do it too. You’d seen her smack around your soldiers when they tried to sneak extra rations during your journey.
  271. >You chuckle and keep moving. Not minutes after you and Pseudonym drop the chest off in your tent there’s a cacophony on the other side of the camp. Shouting voices and collapsing canvas tell you that a tent wasn’t set up properly.
  272. >You make your way over nonchalantly, having removed most of your finery and now in simple breeches and a linen shirt. When you arrive you’re greeted by an interesting scene. Three little knee tall ponies are being scolded by one of the woodsmen while Helga laughs at their responses.
  273. “So what’s all this?”
  274. >Helga giggles, “These three,” She indicates, “Are young, about fourteen or so, and they’re looking for their [cutie] marks. Those brands that other ponies have on their upper thigh. Apparently each pony has a special talent and you get that mark when you find yours. These three decided that their special talent might be ‘human investigation’ so they sneaked into camp and have been poking around for a bit. Some of the boys saw them but thought it was a game until they knocked over some supports and collapsed Nikolaus’s tent.”
  275. You look at the foals. They stare back in a mix of wonder and worry. “Well, we’ll have to take them back to their parents. You there!” You point at a couple of gawking soldiers, “Help Nikolaus put his tent back. Helga, let’s get these three home.”
  276. >You and Helga walk the three fillies the two hours back to their town. On that journey you find out that two of them are related to two of the group of six that you first talked to. You resolve during the walk to put all your effort into learning English. You can’t let Helga act as the sole contact between you and the town. Both because she’d be quite annoyed at that and because she’d probably insist on being paid to be the only translator.
  277. >Your journey through town was incredibly quiet. You saw only a single pony out in the streets and all the buildings save one or two were dark. This made little sense if they thought of themselves as horses, highlighting their alien nature. Then again, they built houses, so thinking of them as any sort of animal is pointless, better to simply think of them as fae.
  278. >Helga met with each of the three fillies' caretakers and seemingly explained the situation. You received thanks for bringing them back and the fillies received stern talkings to.
  279.  
  280. >During that first month many things were learned. Firstly was that this land is far more vast than we thought. The maps seem to indicate that there is an entire planet on this side of the veil. The second thing we learned is that this is where all the monsters, fairies, and gods must live. Griffins, minotaurs, dragons, and more call this place home. We obviously tried to send someone back through the veil. It appears that so long as only humans are traveling east of our little town we are able to get back to Germany. When a fae attempts to accompany any human, or observe our disappearance the person in question is unable to return to our lands.
  281. >The purple one, Twilight, was quite vexed by this and tried everything she could think of to watch as one of us passed through the barrier, using all sorts of strange and magical contraptions, but it was all for naught. Once we established that we could return to Germany if we needed to, I reinforced the order that we were not to have any contact with any other humans for the full ten years, lest we bring the plague with us to this new land.
  282. >The third thing that you learned was that most creatures were magical in nature. They could be bargained with, traded with, and were not for hunting. Once ponies realized that you had hunters out in the woods they were quick to deliver to you a ‘Griffon ordinance’ which was a list of what animals can and cannot be hunted, as well as when hunting was permitted or forbidden. It left you with few options for large game, since deer, cows, pigs, and boar were all semi-sapient. You had to do with small game and fish for the most part.
  283. >Until you learned about the Everfree Forest. If you didn’t go straight east of the camp and instead walked over a bridge in Ponyville you entered into a dark and forbidding forest. Apparently everything in that forest was fair game. But it came with a risk. It was filled with monsters from ancient legend.
  284. >Hydras, basilisks, cockatrices, manticores. All horrors from ages long gone, but you and your men braved the forest some three weeks into your stay and found that, so long as you avoided the larger creatures things like cockatrices and salamanders made for good eating, and neither had protection against a spear. So meat wouldn’t be a problem any time soon. If you could bring down a hydra though, you would eat well for months!
  285. >The fourth thing that you learned is that ponies are curious creatures, much like dogs or children. By the third day after meeting with Celestia your camp was nearly overrun with curious ponies sticking their cute little noses into everyone’s business. People reacted as they were wont to. Some tried to communicate what they were doing, some shooed them away, others picked them up and cuddled them like they would a dog or cat. The children in particular loved hugging and playing with the ponies, and the fae seemed to enjoy it just as well.
  286. >Eventually most of the ponies and children were involved in a pickup fußball game. The three fillies from before returned and ran around like little children, getting into everything.
  287. >Twilight spent most of her time with Helga, and you did too, unless duty took you elsewhere. With the two of them assisting, your knowledge of English expanded and you started to understand some of the words the ponies said.
  288. >Though learning the language could be quite vexing, since it seemed to rely on rote memorization rather than simple rules for conjugation and sentence structure. Every ‘rule’ had at least a dozen exceptions.
  289. >But with this knowledge of their language you also learned of the power and technology that these ponies possessed. Complex pipeworks for taking waste away. Huge metal machines to pull large wagons on steel tracks. A better version of concrete and mortar than the stuff you knew of from Rome.
  290. >And that’s WITHOUT their magic! Strange crystals that can show moving paintings and sounds. Houses carved into living trees. Cities built on clouds!
  291. >This doesn’t even touch on the food. Fruits and vegetables that are huge and sweet compared to anything you’d tasted before. You’d even spent some of your limited money to buy seed stock of these wondrous plants and you’d hired an ‘earth pony’ to assist in their planting and care when the time came to do so. Apparently it’s their magic that makes plants grow bigger and better than they would otherwise and at this point you were taking everything the fae said at face value.
  292. >Just like in the stories it seemed that they couldn’t lie, and if they tried it was so obvious it was more cute than irritating. That or Applejack is the worst liar in the world. Couldn’t win a hand of poker to save her life.
  293. >During that first month you decided on and began construction on a large bunkhouse that would keep you all warm and out of the elements come winter. It was also when you learned about the fact that inside Equestrian borders the pegasi controlled the weather, so you would get up to a month of warning for any weather events.
  294. >You could even request certain weather patterns to help with crops or construction.
  295.  
  296. >>>>>
  297.  
  298. >During that autumn you continued to learn more things. One such occasion found you reaching down and gently scratching the back of Twilight's ears. She hums in appreciation but continues with her explanation of a steam engine. You’re unsure of why this is such an instinctive action for you. Perhaps it’s all those years with hunting dogs and horses. It’s just natural that you see a set of fuzzy ears and you need to scratch them.
  299. >Twilight doesn’t mind, heck, she seems to enjoy it. Many of the ponies do. You’ll often come across people, usually the children, giving the ponies pets or scratching their bellies or riding around on them.
  300. >Like their larger counterparts, ponies just seem to be made for humans to love. You could resist with human women, no matter how attractive they were. Sure you might have trouble not groping a woman if she put her breasts right in your face but it would be something you chose to do. With these ponies you just ended up the way you are now.
  301. >Twilight was leaning against your leg as you sat on one of your field camp stools. The two of you were looking at an illustrated engineering text focusing on the complexities of the modern (to ponies) steam engine. Your hand was gently scratching at her ears and her hair between said ears.
  302. >She was explaining something and you were trying your best to keep up. With your English not being perfect and the ideas she’s presenting being simple and yet complex you aren’t keeping up very well. You’re sure you understand the very basics, but the specifics elude you.
  303. >Twilight doesn’t seem phased by the fact that she needs to explain things to you a couple times and in different ways to get the ideas across. Apparently she’s the student of Princess Celestia, who you suppose moonlights as a university professor.
  304. “And you want to build this contraption connecting our two towns?” You ask cautiously, trying not to appear like an idiot to this learned mare.
  305. >”Not quite one like this. It would be much smaller, only able to pull about the weight of fifty or so ponies or thirty people. The idea is to turn the two hour commute between Ponyvill and whatever you’re going to call this place into a five minute miniature train ride. Heck, it’ll be more of a steam powered roller coaster than a train, really.”
  306. “And it’s safe?”
  307. >”Incredibly! With magical checks run on it every single day as well as repair and maintenance spells one it’s built it should run for up to ten years without needing to be directly maintained. Of course, regulations state that it will receive a full checkup every two years by a trained professional.”
  308. “I see, and we will be able to haul goods with it?”
  309. >”Yup! If we’re going to make your town modern then we’re going to need a lot of materials.”
  310. >You wince at that idea, the pair of you had gone over potential costs, and even if you supplied and cut all the lumber yourselves it would still be incredibly expensive, far more than had been gifted to you.
  311. >But the pros outweigh the cons by a huge margin. Hands free waste disposal, what amounted to a hand pump in each and every house. Furthermore with magical treatment they could ‘dump’ their waste in the river without making the river water unusable or scaring away the fish.
  312. >You would need to figure out a way to bring in a lot of money if you were going to go that route, which meant finding something that these ponies needed that you could provide. When it came to knowledge and technology they had you beat in every way.
  313. >Celestia had implied that your tools and coins would be very valuable to them, but you didn’t want to get swindled or go against her wishes, so you would need to talk to her about selling them and acquiring replacements that would no doubt be of better quality.
  314. >Twilight’s smiling face brought you back to the present and you booped her snoot for being so cute.
  315. >She scrunched adorably, and said, “If you don’t think that the rail line is a good idea we can table it for now. We won’t be able to build it until spring at least, regardless.”
  316. “It’s a good idea, Twilight, I’m just worried about costs.”
  317. >She chuckled, “Don’t worry about stuff like that, silly stallion, I’ve gotten it all figured out. You think we’d just leave you high and dry? You’re practically family already! And we ponies don’t let our families go through hardship without help. We’ve already started pooling funds for the various projects that are going to start up come spring. Don’t you worry your pretty little head about it!”
  318. “It’s my job to worry about this kind of stuff, Twilight.”
  319. >Twilight blows a raspberry, “This is why you need a mare in your life, Anon! No stallion is an island, after all!”
  320. “Is marriage your solution to everything?”
  321. >”Just for stallions who are being stubborn!”
  322. >You rolled your eyes, you’d marry when you found a suitable wife and had the time to properly show her love, and not a moment before. Right in the middle of building a new town was NOT the right time.
  323.  
  324.  
  325. >>>>>
  326.  
  327. >Be Corporal Incognito, leader of the Anvil Squad. Unlike the horsey boys in Hammer Squad you were a bit short but well built and muscled from handling your heavy shield and pike.
  328. >You’re currently smoking a really good variant of Arabic hashish with a dread headed earth pony who had joined you in watching over the camp.
  329. >It was about a week after an event called the ‘Running of the Leaves’ when something wondrous happened.
  330. >The children were playing out in the fields outside the camp, as they usually did after they were done with their morning chores. Today they had gotten the idea to ride on broomsticks like witches in the old tales, so they were running and jumping with their mothers’ brooms while a group of pegasi flaped and floated around them, egging them on.
  331. >You watched from atop a small watchtower that had been erected just outside the circle of wagons which surrounded the camp in the center of which the bunkhouse was being built.
  332. >Then, suddenly, one of the children was in the air, floating and flying atop her broom!
  333. >The children redoubled their efforts and soon another and another followed!
  334. >The children laughed and screamed as they flew up and around with the pegasi. Some fell off, but the pegasi were quick to catch them and plant them back on the ground. With a smile you looked on for many minutes until several men and women came out of the camp with brooms of their own!
  335. >The children cheered them on as they tried their best to get into the air using their brooms. Unfortunately only three adults of the ten that tried were able to fly on their brooms, no matter how hard the others tried.
  336. >You smile, perhaps flight is only for the innocent or something. All this magic had strange rules.
  337. Tapping out your pipe you look down at the herb-horse, “Think we could manage to get some food in us? With all the kids up in the air it’s like we have half a dozen watchers now.”
  338. >The horse says something in English that you don’t understand, but you pretend to, “You’re right, some sandwiches are just the thing.”
  339. >You climbed down the ladder from the ‘tower’ and watched as the earth pony walked down the wall as if it were flat ground. Fucking weird horses, man. Best not to think about it.
  340. >The sandwiches were delicious though.
  341.  
  342. >>>>>
  343.  
  344. >By the time the first snows arrived ponies and humans were interacting on a daily basis. Most couldn’t communicate complex thoughts, but the ponies had learned certain German words and most of your townsfolk had learned a couple English ones as well.
  345. >Twilight and Rarity were both picking up German with surprising speed as they were both nearly fluent. You aren’t certain who was teaching the seamstress but whomever it was must have been a good teacher.
  346. >The white unicorn was interested in all things clothing, which was a bit odd considering that ponies didn’t really wear any, but you humored her and allowed her to look at your wardrobe.
  347. >Twilight, on the other hand, wanted to know everything. She studied your books, discussed what you had learned at university, and pestered your wise woman and medicine man to teach her human magics.
  348. >She now pranced around wearing a half dozen charms around her neck and was nearly as good at potion brewing as the medicine man himself. You don’t think good luck charms work like that, but she seems too happy with herself for you to say anything.
  349. >Twilight was a good example of all ponydom: she was far more intelligent than you were and her investigative rigor rivals that of the most dedicated of scholars, but she has almost childlike excitement with each new discovery and an innocent, almost naive attitude towards the complexities of interacting with adults in an adult manner.
  350. >Much like Twilight, the other ponies learned things about humans in those months. In particular the mares liked to watch as you and your soldiers drilled and sparred. Apparently, outside the royal guard most pony males tended the house and wouldn’t be caught dead holding a weapon or getting dirty and sweaty out in a field.
  351. >At first you thought this was odd until Twilight informed you of the situation. There were four mares for every one stallion in the country as a whole, but here in rural towns the ratio was more like seven mares for every stallion. In the cities it was almost one to one.
  352. >This meant that while in cities like the capitol, Canterlot, stallions could take more high risk jobs like being part of the guard, here in the country the mere thought of a stallion being harmed was treated as a serious concern.
  353. >But that didn’t mean that seeing a male being ‘strong’ and ‘confident’ was a turn off, quite the opposite. Apparently the royal guards were considered some of the most attractive males in the country. If a country stallion wanted to be more appealing they would generally take up exercise or harder - though still safe - labour to impress the mares of the area.
  354. >Another odd facet of pony culture is beautification. Apparently it was a stallion’s prerogative to have their hair, coat, and hooves tended to by professionals and with special oils and ointments where it was seen as a weakness for a mare to do the same.
  355. >Just the thought that any regular peasant could be tended to like a king and they CHOOSE not to is baffling. Indeed once you and your people found out how relatively inexpensive it was to be professionally groomed it became a bit of a routine. Once a month you, Pseudonym, and Incognito along with a couple of your men would go into town and visit something the ponies called a [spa].
  356. >At first you worried about such an extravagance cutting into your food money, but you quickly learned that this wouldn’t be the case. Apparently Ponyville was an earth pony town. This meant that they didn’t have a lot of unicorns like Twilight and Rarity. This meant that they didn’t have many people who could do delicate work, particularly high up.
  357. >With nothing better to do your soldiers and aides ended up spending a lot of their time doing odd jobs in Ponyville and bringing the bits they were paid back to camp. Something simple for you, like nailing boards together or shingles to a roof were quite difficult for an average earth pony.
  358.  
  359. >>>>>
  360.  
  361. >Be Twilight Sparkle, book horse extraordinaire and lead mare of the Human Interaction Team!
  362. >Well, you thought of yourself as that, it wasn’t an actual title. Technically you were still a Student of the School for Gifted Unicorns and Ponyville Head Librarian. But Spike was a fully fledged librarian now, so he could keep the library functioning well enough and you checked on him at least once a day, usually in the mornings when everypony else trekked back to town for their jobs.
  363. >While Princess Celestia had technically asked you to study friendships you figured that you could spin studying an ancient mythical species as ‘Friendly Interactions Between Disparate Creatures’ or something like that.
  364. >That was your story and you were sticking with it.
  365. >It’s definitely not because there were WAY too many males in the camp… So many… Their musk, their sweaty stench sinking into and exuding from everything.
  366. >It also wasn’t because you were angling to become part of one of the mythical True Herds. Though finding an alicorn female and male might be a bit difficult. Perhaps the herd’s composition should be changed to better reflect the times?
  367. >Something to ponder later.
  368. >You also weren’t here because you’d finally, FINALLY found a colt who took even the tiniest interest in academic study. Sure, Anon wasn’t the brightest, or the fastest of thought, but he was a colt, so that’s to be expected. What he was, was a visionary who was willing to learn new things and implement them into his plan for the town.
  369. >It took less than an hour to convince him that plumbing was a must, only a half hour to convince him to use modern materials, and less than ten minutes to convince him to carry you about while you wrote notes. You could walk, of course, but being carried was comfier and you were less likely to run into obstacles.
  370. >But you knew that this would be your hardest task yet. Humans, at least these humans since you didn’t know any others, were fiercely independent. They would allow someone to assist them only if it was phrased in such a way as they thought they were doing the work, or somehow helping the person offering help.
  371. >Many of the humans had brought up the idea of ‘owing’ the helper for their help, which was obviously ridiculous, but it must have been one of their customs, to keep track of help given and expect help in return. Truly they were but infants in the art of friendship, and you a master, here to teach them your ways.
  372. >It made your hooves tingle just thinking about it, and you giddily pranced about outside the now finished bunkhouse.
  373. >You heard a growling, throaty chuckle behind you as you did so and turned to the newcomer with blushing cheeks. There in the doorway stood Pseudonym with a mug of tea.
  374. >Oh how they had been so surprised when tea was available in abundance and cheap. Silly humans didn’t know about the global market.
  375. >”Grüß gott frau Sparkle!” The tall man says. Pseudonym speaks with a slightly different accent than the others. Apparently he grew up further east than the other villagers.
  376. “And a good day to you, herr Geheimnis. What are your plans for today?” You reply in fairly good Germane. It only takes him a second for his understanding to pierce your thick accent.
  377. >”With the first snow here I’ll be snow clearing with the men. We don’t want the ground getting overly muddy.”
  378. “Good idea! I could help with that!”
  379. >”Nien, frau, we can handle it. You worry about you, little pferd.”
  380. >See, stubborn stallions who are all about being ‘independent’ and ‘self sufficient.’ Horseapples, every good mare knows that a stallion isn’t truly happy without a foal to chase and a mare to cuddle. Perhaps that’s why Anon seems so content with his life. His entire community was like a group of foals he had to chase and now you were here to be cuddled as needed.
  381. >Perhaps convincing him of his need to have mares close during the winter months will be easier than you thought! You were a unicorn, after all! Proud dweller of the highlands and mountains! Your coat was long and floofy! Pegasi use their magic to keep warm, and earth ponies usually had a squishy layer of fat that they built up in the wintertime. The only ponies that could compare to a unicorn’s winter coat were the bat ponies, who were floofy all year round due to their nocturnal habits.
  382. >Cheaters.
  383. >There’s Anon now! He’s all bundled up in his winter clothing, nice and thick as it should be. You take a moment to look him up and down. Truly, humans are natural sloots.
  384. >With their thin skin they are forced to wear layer upon layer of clothing, hiding all their juiciest bits from your marely eyes. Like presents made for your unwrapping.
  385. >But you’d leave the socks on, oh yes, and maybe a shirt, if it had buttons so you could run your snoot all over his chest.
  386. >Better stop that line of thinking before you make a puddle or two. “Hey there Anon!” You smile enthusiastically up at your human. Yes, your human. He smelled like you so he was yours, those are the rules, no matter what Dash might say about humans not scent making and taking advantage. You weren’t taking advantage! You’d only booped his dick with your snoot twice! And the first time had been by accident too!
  387. >”Good morning, Little Spark.” He greets in his commanding tone, so marely and unlike the smooth or simpering tones of a pony stallion - No Homo! “You are here early, is today special?”
  388. “Yes, it is Anon! Today is the first real day of winter, and this one is going to be a very cold one according to the weather team. We are probably not going to see the sun again until winter wrap up thanks to all the extra clouds we got from the North Lunar Sea in the summer. I’m a bit worried, you see, about…”
  389. > You need to word this right. You aren’t doing this because you’re worried about him, you’re doing this because you’re worried about yourself. If he’s helping you - and the other mares - then he’ll do what you want,
  390. “Us! I’m worried about the mares that like to come here to interact with your town. Many of us come here after work to have fun, usually leaving in one’s and two’s when it starts getting late. With winter coming up I’m worried about somepony getting lost in the dark and freezing.”
  391. >”Hmm, you are perhaps thinking that these ponies should stop coming, to stop the risk?”
  392. “No!” You practically scream. Anon flinches back, “Sorry, no. We really like coming here, and I think it’s good for you - and them! It’s good for us all to interact like this!”
  393. You’re pacing, “So, you see, what I was thinking is this. What if the mares stayed the night here, right?”
  394. You’re rambling, “I-it solves all our problems? We mares can leave in the morning for work, what work we have in the winter, and we can come back in the afternoon, and since we’re staying the night we don’t need to be out after dark! I was thinking that we could limit it to one mare for each human, since you don’t have a whole lot of extra room.”
  395. You smile up at the man, “We ponies make excellent blankets, ask any herd stallion, a cuddle puddle is really the only way to sleep!”
  396. >The human is looking skeptical, “You want the mares that have come here to stay the night? I’m not sure, Twilight, there’s a lot of things to think about. Would everyone here even want to share a bed with a pony? What about married couples? What about married mares? What would they eat? Would they use the same latrine? It’s already filling up faster than I want it to.”
  397. “Listen, we’ll take care of it. People can agree or not on their own. We will bring our own food to share, and, uh, well, you see, Applejack may have already inquired about the fertilizing properties of human excrement, since that’s what most pony waste is used for…”
  398. >He hmm’s for a moment, “I’m not sure. I think there’s a reason we don’t use human poop as fertilizer anymore…”
  399. Smart colt, “There are certain bacteria and diseases that can be transmitted that way, but don’t worry! All fertilizer is magically treated before it’s used, which negates the risk!”
  400. >He snaps his fingers, “Ah! That - what did you call it? - Germ-theory, what a strange word. So you’re saying that your magic makes the tiny sickness-bugs go away?”
  401. “That’s exactly right!” You smile up at the pretty human, “We’ll get the septic-tank cart to come by once a week to empty it. See? Everything taken care of. So will you let m-us stay the night?”
  402. >”Well, I’m not going to order anyone to accept, but I can’t see the harm in telling everyone that it’s ok.”
  403. “Good, and as the ambassador to the human species, it’ll be my right to be the first to pose the question.” Yeah, that was the way filly, formal, just like mom taught you, “Anon, I, Twilight Sparkle, wish to share a bed with you every night for the foreseeable future.”
  404. >Anon just stares at you. Now, normally you’d be panicking after the first three seconds, but Cadance has been teaching you how to do your breathing exercises without making it obvious and it’s really helping as the silence stretches between the two of you and OH FILLY HE THINKS YOU’RE A WEIRDO DAMAGE CONTROL!
  405. >You start babbling something but Anon stops you with a, “I suppose that is ok.”
  406. >Twilight Sparkle is not here right now, please leave a message after the tome. *Boo~k*
  407. “Uuuuu~~~h”
  408. >”Are you well, Twilight?”
  409. “Yes! Yes, haha, I’m very - well - thank you. I just need to go sit down for a bit. I’ll catch up with you later.”
  410. >For a second Anon studies your blushing and sweating face, “If that is what you want, I should get to the practice field before the men decide that my not showing up gives them leave to laze about.”
  411. “See you later!”
  412. >”Auf Wiedersehen, Twilight!”
  413. >You walk into the bunkhouse, your hooves making little clops against the cement floor. You make your way to the far left, where one fireplace sits against the wall. The chimney isn’t very efficient, so the bunkhouse ceiling is constantly filled with smoke when you aren’t actively channeling it out.
  414. >You climb up onto Anon’s bed in a haze. The bed was musky. It smelled of the sharp stench of human sweat. The bed was different from what you had back in the library. Instead of coils of metal with padding, Anon's bed was made of a lattice of ropes strung between the boards of the frame. Atop that lattice was a pair of linen sheets holding in the ‘stuffing’ of straw, excess wool, old shirts that are beyond repair, and other such soft but expendable materials. Atop this ‘mattress’ is a half dozen pelts of various creatures.
  415. >You shiver, these humans - or at least Anon - sleep atop a mass grave. Intellectual you know that’s not true. Fluttershy has confirmed that their animals have no true sapience in them. They’re like fish, or insects.
  416. >But emotionally, you’re in the bed of a fierce predator, deep in its den, and that sends a shiver up your spine. A not unpleasant feeling, you’re ashamed to admit.
  417. >Being the student of Celestia you were always a powerful mare, able to command those you needed to with the princess’s authority, though you never did. Laying here, in his scent, surrounded by his tribe, you feel small, weak, and like you’ve found something other mares can only dream of.
  418. >A stallion that can match you physically without making you feel weak.
  419. >A stallion that can challenge you intellectually without making you feel stupid.
  420. >A stallion that can argue with you without making you feel like not siding with him will put you in the doghouse.
  421. >As you breathe in his scent you think only one thing.
  422. >The Ancient Equestrian scholar Fossil Record was right, ponies and humans are MADE for eachother.
  423.  
  424.  
  425. >>>>>
  426.  
  427. >It's as you wave off the group of ponies as they trot towards Ponyville with the rest of the camp that you realize that this is your life now.
  428. >You wake up every morning with a fluffy purple pony in your arms and a dragon snoozing on the pillow above your head.
  429. >You smile and wave as the ponies that have made your little camp their second home go off to work.
  430. >You drill with your men in the morning, usually under the watch of any mares that have the day off.
  431. >You work with Helga and whichever pony is trying to learn German in the afternoon to improve your English.
  432. >Before dinner you take stock of your supplies and the progress everyone is making on their various projects.
  433. >At dinnertime the mares that left that morning return, often bringing various foodstuffs to share.
  434. >You all eat at the huge, rough hewn bench and table under an equally huge canvas awning made of a couple tents that are no longer needed.
  435. >Then in the evening the women and Rarity go inside the bunkhouse to mend clothing and trade stories. The children and many of the mares, fillies, and Spike go off to play games. The men and the rougher mares play dice or cards or boast and tell stories, though that last one through a bit of a language barrier, though the groups seem to be creating their own little language out of broken English and German, so they can sort of understand each other.
  436. >You and Twilight spend most of the time after dinner teaching each other about your cultures.
  437. >Then it’s time to go to bed. The fillies pair up with their chosen children, the mares with their chosen adults, and everyone piles into the bunkhouse. As the Mayor/Baron/Captain you get the largest and most comfortable position in a proper bed right next to one of the hearths.
  438. >Spike curls up on your pillow, usually grabbing at your hair as he falls asleep. Twilight sprawls out next to you, and you fall asleep to the sounds of a hundred people and a hundred ponies not-so-quietly settling in and snoring.
  439.  
  440. >>>>>
  441.  
  442. >The dull metal of her training sword presses against the chainmail between your head and neck. “When facing an opponent with magic, Lord Mous, one must remember that an attack can come from any direction rather than simply in front.”
  443. “Evidently.” You growl out in English.
  444. >You had thought - when Twilight had informed you earlier that overcast winter day that Princess Luna would be stopping by to spar with you - that you would easily defeat the fae. There had supposedly been a thousand years of peace, after all, and you were a fresh veteran. Luna, however, was defeating you soundly with each round. Supposedly this wasn’t even her full power, as she was using only two training ‘swords’ and two bucklers.
  445. >You could either defend yourself or attack her, not both. It was ridiculous, you could take two soldiers if you had to. You’d done it before, but fighting against Luna was like fighting against a pair of soldiers who’d been trained to work in perfect unison. It was frustrating. These ponies were soft, simple folk unused to violence, and yet this fae was like a Valkyrie, descending upon you with power and wrath.
  446. >Princess Luna trots away from you, “I must say, I’m disappointed. I had heard that you and your men were veterans, mighty warriors, and yet you chop at me like a barbarian with a stone axe. Where is your finesse? Where is your magic?”
  447. It hits you like a horse’s kick, magic. You were fighting against a fae, of course you’d need magic! You grin and start jogging away, “Stay there, princess, I’ll be right back!”
  448. >Minutes later you return, triumphant, to the practice field to see something that you were not expecting. All twelve of your regular soldiers, Incognito, Pseudonym, three pegasi, two unicorns, and five earth ponies are all ganged up on Luna, trying their hardest to get a single hit on her.
  449. >Luna dances and weaves, half a dozen buckler shields fending off training swords, spears, and hooves from over angle. Her metal clad hooves slap aside any attack that reaches through her defenses. Her four blades carve through the crowd, slapping almost playfully at exposed sides and joints.
  450. >A half dozen clear bubbles float above her. When a pegasus tries to divebomb her they are captured in one of these bubbles and tossed at one of their compatriots. As each combatant was ‘killed’ they would step back. Eventually everyone was ‘dead’ except Luna, Twilight, and the blue pegasus, Rainbow Dash. Neither pony was able to land a clean hit on the princess, but neither was Luna able to take either of them out. Twilight was encased in several layers of sparkling magenta shields. Rainbow Dash was simply too fast and wily to be caught.
  451. >Luna suddenly turns her full attention to Twilight, dropping all her levitating equipment and sending a bright white beam of energy into the unicorn’s shield, shattering three of the nested bubbles instantly and cracking the fourth and final one. Twilight stumbled back but Dash saw her chance and zoomed in to strike. Luna seemed to not notice the pegasus. Dash screamed in delight as her hoof came in and passed through Luna.
  452. >The illusion dissipated to reveal that Luna was two steps to the right as Dash hit the ground on all fours, ready to leap back into the air, but Luna’s hoof came down on her withers and thumped the pegasus into the ground and held her there.
  453. >During this time Twilight had dropped her bubble and charged forward, picking up one of Luna’s discarded ‘swords’ and plunging it toward the distracted Alicorn. Luna grinned and her horn flashed as she brought up one of her bucklers just in time to deflect the sword. As Twilight over extended herself into Luna’s range the taller pony cuffed her across the head and brought her down to join her friend in the dirt.
  454. >“I do believe that this marks Our victory, does it not, Twilight Sparkle?”
  455. >“Mmmph.” Twilight moaned from underhoof.
  456. >The Luna diarch stepped back and the pair of ponies stood and brushed themselves off. “Damn, princess, you go hard, don’t’cha?” Rainbow commented.
  457. >Luna blinks, “We’re afraid We don’t understand the question?”
  458. >“She just means that you’re cool.”
  459. >“... We know that one, yes. We are… cool.”
  460. >Rainbow chuckles, “Well, princess of the night and all, you should be cool, since Celestia’s pretty HOT, hehehe.”
  461. >Twilight rolls her eyes, “You’re such a dyke.”
  462. >“Hey! It’s totally fine for a mare to admire another mare.”
  463. >“We agree, Twilight Sparkle. In fact, in Our time, it would be considered rude, even disrespectful for a mare to not find her herd sisters attractive. After all, who is to pleasure them when the stallion is tired or sick? This modern idea that a mare should enjoy the forms of stallions and stallions alone is confusing and unhelpful to the running of a healthy herd.”
  464. >“See, Twilight! I’m not weird, just old fashioned.” Dash puffed up her tuft proudly as she stood next to Luna.
  465. >“If having social values a thousand years out of date is ‘old fashioned’ I have an apology to my mom to make.” Twilight snarked, turning to you, “Where’d you get off to, Anon? I didn’t see you leave.”
  466. “I just had to go get a secret weapon so I could show your princess here who’s boss.”
  467. >Twilight looked at you with an ‘are you kidding’ expression, “Anon, she just took on twenty three combatants. Do you really think you’re going to beat her?”
  468. “Well, she’s going to be going easy one me, and I’m going to cheat, so… maybe?”
  469. >“Colts.” Twilight muttered as she strode off with her friend.
  470. >“Art thou ready again, Lord Mous?”
  471. >You dip your right hand into the bag now adorning your right side, pick up your shield, and draw your sword, keeping the special powder between your fingers and your sword hilt.
  472. “Ready, Highness, prepare to taste the fullness of my might.”
  473. >“I think we’re far too overdressed for me to properly TASTE your MIGHT, but I am ready for combat.” Luna winks at her innuendo.
  474. >These little horses man, they like flirting as much as you like a good jerky, always gotta have one in the back pocket.
  475. >“When the rock touches the ground.” Luna says, and sends a rock sailing into the air and picking up two swords and two bucklers.
  476. >The second the rock touches the ground you cast forward your sword hand, flinging the salt in a large cloud in front of you. As you expect, when it touches her blades and shields and even her horn her magic suddenly stops and the weapons fall to the ground. You dart forward and bring your sword around at her throat where you would have stopped it, if you had gotten there.
  477. >Instead Luna brings her metal clad hoof up, experty parrying your blade up and out. You instinctively bring your shield forward to protect your body as she uses her momentum to spin about and bucks your shield right in the center, sending you flying off your feet and onto the ground. Done in in two moves, that stings the pride.
  478. >Then her blade is at your throat again. “An excellent ploy, young Anon, but it would take more than simple magical negation to defeat one as skilled as We.”
  479. >“Apparently so, Highness.” You grunt out as her magic helps you stand.
  480. >”Let not your pride be tarnished by this match, Anon. We art the greatest warrior in this land and almost all others. The only beings to stand alongside us as equals in the art of battle are the Great Ancient Wyrms. Even our own sister cannot claim such a thing. You are well skilled for one so young, cunning and brutal as a soldier forged in battle should be.”
  481. >She licks her lips, “Perhaps We should take thee back to our castle, to forge thee in other ways. Our Lunar guard does have a need for skilled commanders, after all.”
  482. >“I appreciate your offer, Princess.” You say as you stand, “But my duties lie here, and I’ve had enough of war to last a lifetime.”
  483. >”Hmm, a feeling We know well, and yet, like Us, you find yourself continuing to train as if another war looms near.”
  484. >“It’s more that we have nothing better to do, especially in winter. Can’t dig out cellars and foundations in the frozen ground. Can’t farm since little grows in the cold. Our carvings fetch a fair price at market, and the gold your sister lent us will keep us fed for the winter.” You brushed the dirt off your armour and weapons.
  485. >“To be honest, Highness, what we need is something that we can do in the winter that will make us money. We have the tools and knowledge to create a proper town, but Twilight has shown me the near miracles of fae life. For the cement, bricks, pipe, and labour to create a town with all these amazing things that you fairies have we’ll need far more money than we will get going the way we are.
  486. >”Hmm,” The princess ponders as your group walks back inside the ditch and circle of wagons into the camp, now mostly empty of the tents that were there previously since everyone had moved into the bunkhouse.
  487. >”I’ve been working on this problem too, Princess.” Twilight adds, “There aren’t a lot of things that humans can do that can’t be done better by a professionally trained pony, except one thing!”
  488. >Twilight pauses long enough for Luna to ask, “And what’s that?”
  489. >”Delicate work involving small movements. It takes years of hard work for your average pony to be able to work with small machines or light work. There’s a reason talents like Rarity’s are so rare and sought after. Since she doesn’t have to entirely rely on a sewing machine she can make designs that other dressmakers wouldn’t dare to touch!”
  490. >”Go on.” Luna encourages.
  491. >”Well, humans have pretty good dexterity with their fingers, particularly if their hands are stabilized, so I was thinking that they could do a few things. Firstly, embroidery. Even though the materials for embroidered clothing is cheap, actually embroidered clothing is very expensive, since few possess the skill to do it. The second thing is painting! Humans can create fine details in paintings that could only be emulated by master painters!”
  492. >Twilight looks away, embarrassed, “And, uh, there is one other thing. You see, there are these games that some ponies play, and there are these little plastic figures that they use. Painting them is really hard so a lot of ponies have them professionally painted, and that usually costs a lot of money…”
  493. >You and Luna share a look over the younger pony’s head.
  494. >Luna smirks, “And We suppose that the mares who play these games are… cool?”
  495. >Twilight sputters, “Oh yeah! Super cool! The coolest mares on the block, even! Definitely not social outcasts or pariahs, no siree!”
  496. >You and Luna smirk over Twilight’s head.
  497. >”Mares of the highest esteem, no doubt!” Luna intones regally.
  498. ”Surely they are both strong and sensitive.” You grin.
  499. >”Of course!” Twilight puffs up like a bird before smiling at you both, “Ponies would pay lots of bits to have their stuff professionally done, and with a little training I’m sure even the children could do it! With a little help from me and,” Twilight side eyes the princess, “Maybe a royal sponsor I’m sure we could have orders coming in at top speed. Especially since it’ll be limited time only. If it gets really busy we could auction off orders to the highest bidder. I promise,” Twilight stands up straight and tall, “By the end of winter we’ll have enough bits to build TWO towns.” She nods.
  500. >You and Luna share a giggle at Twilight’s little speech, “Well,” Luna says, “If you’re so confident in this, Twilight, then We think that you should assess the viability of your proposed plan and draw up a list of what needs to be done to implement it. We leave this duty in thy capable hooves.”
  501. >Luna yawns, “Now, We must away. Our bed does call to us so, as usually we would begin slumber the moment the sun crests the horizon. It has been a pleasure and a privilege to partake of you long, hard, shaft, Lord Mous.” Luna smiles at her little joke.
  502. “It’s been wonderful, Highness. I pray your sleep is restful.”
  503. >The three of you part ways as you reach the bunkhouse. The soldiers are using the new ‘shower’ system that Twilight helped the carpenters build.
  504. >There were a pair of large barrels sitting high on a pair of stands. One barrel was full of water that is heated by whichever unicorn is nearby when someone wants to shower. The other barrel is filled with cold water. Some pipes that Twilight calls PVC come out of both barrels and go into a large tap with tiny holes. In each of the pipes that come out of the barrels is a knob that can be turned to allow a certain amount of water through, allowing you to adjust the temperature.
  505. >The big downside of the system was that when the barrels ran empty someone had to lug the barrels down to the river, fill them up, and roll them all the way back to camp, up a long ramp and back into place. This would have to be done four times before every one of the soldiers was clean.
  506. >At least the dirty water flowed into another pipe that took it to the latrine instead of just dumping it onto the ground like it did for the first couple days.
  507. “Well, it sounds like painting is the thing that we’ll be doing the most of, so we’ll have to talk to Pseudonym.”
  508. >”Why him?” Twilight asked.
  509. You smiled, “Well, he painted ‘pics related’ so he has the most experience.”
  510. >Twilight grins, “Well, let’s get this show on the road then!”
  511.  
  512. pics in question for those who aren't following along live:
  513. https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49665157541_57539222d8_b.jpg
  514. https://cdnb.artstation.com/p/assets/images/images/028/796/415/large/maha-rishen-02-ve2001-1-muhd-rayyan-2001107-a1.jpg
  515. http://www.rama9art.org/artisan/artdb/artists/person/Prateep%20Kochabua/work/work2.jpg
  516.  
  517. >>>>>A month later.
  518.  
  519. >Be Lord Mous.
  520. >The winter snows keep most in and around the bunkhouse most days.
  521. >Most are painting, whittling, or other such sundry tasks.
  522. >And talking. The bunkhouse is filled with the sounds of humans and ponies chatting about everything and nothing.
  523. >You are very carefully painting the eyes onto a Solar Legion Guardsmare.
  524. >”So then, in the fourth battle of Arrakis the Solar Legion found the Sludgenoid stronghold. The battle was fierce, and since this was back when they were using actual tabletop games to determine how the stories would go, the Sludgenoids WON, which would never happen now.”
  525. >Twilight is excitedly explaining all the lore behind the funny little figurines you’re painting.
  526. >Some of what she said was pretty interesting.
  527. >Other parts not so much.
  528. >Mostly you just enjoyed listening to her speak.
  529. >Ah, the eyes are done.
  530. >You stand, running your fingers through Twilight’s silky hair.
  531. “I am going to head out to the latrine, take a look at this and see if I’ve gotten it correct.”
  532. >”Alright,” she grins up at you, “don’t fall in!”
  533. >You chuckle and saunter out of the bunkhouse towards the latrine.
  534. >On the way to the local piss hole you hear something akin to someone grunting in strain.
  535. >Is someone fucking out here behind the shed?
  536. >A silly grin splits your face.
  537. >It’s probably Hein and Gretchen again. Ten years married and they’re still acting like teenagers.
  538. >You sneak over to spook the pair, not for the first time. Not even for the first time since you’d decided to stay here, but when you peek around the shed you see something you didn’t expect.
  539. >Pseudonym has this little green mare — Lyra — by the horn while he takes her from behind. Her friend, Bon Bon, is sitting a little ways back from the shed watching it happen with a goofy smile on her face, almost like she just got done with the same treatment not too long ago.
  540. >You’re shocked, standing stock still for several moments as Pseudonym blew his load inside the mare, who promptly melted into mush on the frozen ground.
  541. >As Pseud ties up his breeches he notices you peeking around the corner and smiles half in embarrassment and half in post-orgasm high, “Hey there Captain, I didn’t know we were getting a performance review today!” he jokes.
  542. You step out into the open and go for a joke, “And I thought Incog was the only horsefucker in camp.”
  543. >Pseud pauses for a second, “Uh, captain? A lot of the men have taken mares to bed.”
  544. You didn’t know that, “Really?”
  545. >”Yes, I thought you knew. It took a while but it’s pretty clear that they’re just women with strange bodies, and every woman needs a little love, eh captain?”
  546. “Huh, I suppose. As you were, then.”
  547. >Your walk to the latrine is more contemplative than previous.
  548. >You were an accepting man. Your philosophy might be called ‘I won’t bother you if you don’t bother me.’
  549. >But copulating with fae?
  550. >That was… a thought.
  551. >Could YOU do such a thing?
  552. >As the piss drains out of you you try to imagine it.
  553. >Who would it be?
  554. >Well, Princess Celestia springs to mind. She was very forward in her desire to be with you.
  555. >Then again, that might have just been a negotiation tactic.
  556. >Princess Luna is next. She’d been a bit flirty back when she visited.
  557. >But neither of them were around, were they?
  558. >Twilight’s shining eyes came to the forefront.
  559. >She was certainly nice, but was it merely her proximity to you that made you think of her?
  560. >You’d table this thought for later. You had time, after all.
  561.  
  562. >>>>>A month passes.
  563.  
  564. >One of your soldiers asks if he can move in with his ‘marefriend.’
  565. >A strange word, that, marefriend. They were certainly more than friends, you could tell that. Furthermore the man didn’t technically answer to you directly. Sure, you employed him, but it was less than formal. So long as he put in the ‘work’ then he’d be ‘paid.’ Pay which involved building a house for him.
  566. “What of your promised pay? If you don’t live in town there’s no real need for you to continue work.”
  567. >”Well, lord, we’ve spoken about that and we’ve decided that I would like to continue to be part of the town guard and come to your call of aid, and have the house. I would still show up for drills and assist in the construction when I can, I would simply be spending my afternoon’s and nights in Ponyville.”
  568. >You ponder this. Were this area more dangerous you would be more reluctant to let a blade stray from where it was needed most. But there have been no attacks from man or wildlife in your time here. Better to let the man have his happiness, as odd as it is.
  569. “I agree to your proposal.”
  570. >The man smiles, “That’s good, m’lord. Perhaps I should, ah…”
  571. You squint at the man, “Is there something else?”
  572. >”Nothing, sir, I’ll be going now.”
  573. >’That rat bastard,’ you think half a month later, ‘he must have known about this.’ Half the unattached men in town were clamouring to move in with their chosen mare or more often than not, mares. Apparently more than one female per male was the norm in Equestria.
  574. >Needless to say the men were all for it.
  575. >You sighed and agreed, and the bunkhouse lost a third of its inhabitants.
  576.  
  577. >>>>>Winter turns to spring.
  578.  
  579. >You and Twilight were walking out of the cloudsdale weather scheduling office for the Macintosh province. You were both sweaty, tired, and triumphant.
  580. >She grins at you and you grin at her.
  581. >You had gotten nearly three whole months of dry weather to build your town and connect it to the ponyville sewer and water system.
  582. >Sure, there had to be light showers once a week over the whole area to keep the plant life from shriveling, but that was fine, people tended to not work on Sunday anyway.
  583. >The really hard part was that the place where HumanBerg — working name — was currently located was originally spare cloud storage for the entire area since it was mostly grassland that could live on low light.
  584. >Convincing them to move their storage area somewhere else was what lead to an hour long screaming match including threats to escalate things to the Director of Climate for Southern Equestria.
  585.  
  586. >>>>>In Baltimare
  587.  
  588. >A decrepit figure slowly steps out into the cobbled street, startling a stallion who’s foolishly out after sunset by himself.
  589. >“Well well well, what do we have here?” The decrepit male asks.
  590. >“Um, sir, are you ok?”
  591. >“I will be… soon.”
  592. >The pony doesn’t even have a chance to scream.
  593.  
  594. >>>>>Days later, Human Town
  595.  
  596. >The Princesses chariot lands just outside the town borders. From there she can see a massive pile of dirt growing south of the town and dozens of construction mares and humans swarm over the various holes and ditches dug everywhere in the town.
  597. >Evidently constructing an entire town at once rather than one house at a time was difficult work.
  598. >The six elements, Discord, and Lord Mous all come towards the chariot as the pair of princesses step out.
  599. >“It’s nice to see you all again, I only wish it was under better circumstances.” The princess stands regally, “I’ve had a vision. The creature Tirek has escaped from Tartarus and has resumed his quest to steal all magic from ponykind.”
  600. >”We’ll get the elements immediately!” Twilight is quick to volunteer.
  601. >”I’m afraid not, Twilight. In order to use the elements you would need to be far too close to Tirek, allowing him to potentially steal your magic before you could use them. I’d like for the six of you to act as our last line of defense.”
  602. >Twilight looks up at her mentor in confusion, “Then who will stop him?”
  603. >Celestia looks up at the two taller members of the party, “Discord, with a little help from our resident non-magical human.”
  604. >”Discord?” Most of the mares shout.
  605. >”Anon?” Twilight adds, looking up at you.
  606. >”Ooh, how delightful chaotic of you, Celly!” Discord gushes, “Moi? And my fine featherless friend here?” He indicates you, his entire body now covered in feathers, “Taking on the demons of Equestria past? Why, next you’ll be naming me honorary princess!”
  607. >Celestia snorts and rolls her eyes at Discord’s antics before turning to you, “I would not ask this of you if I did not believe it to be our best chance of fixing this situation before it gets out of hand.”
  608. You salute, “If I can be of help then I will put my all into it. What can you tell me of this assignment?”
  609. >Princess Luna steps up, “Currently Tirek is considered a less-than-lethal threat. While magic draining is painful and leaves a pony weakened and in a lethargic state it does not directly lead to death. Technically a pony could live their entire life without magic, so unless they have their magic taken from them when they are already close to death we have no worries about any pony perishing from Tirek’s attacks.
  610. >“This means that this mission is one of capture, and the pair of you will only resort to lethal force if you believe that thine lives, or the lives of one of Our citizens are in direct danger, are We understood?”
  611. >”Crystal, you moonieness!” Discord smiles, “You know that *permanently* breaking my toys isn’t something I’m interested in.”
  612. >”We are well acquainted with your preferred methods, Discord, and while Tirek is certainly a threat We’d prefer him sane. At least in his sanity he is predictable.”
  613. >Discord rolls his eyes, “No promises if he gets rowdy.”
  614. >”We would not trust any promise from THEE regardless, chimera.”
  615. >”Now,” Princess Celestia says, “for your rewards. Anon, Discord, should you succeed in… rendering Tirek incapable or unwilling to harm my little ponies I shall firstly consider all debt to the crown paid back in full on your part, Lord Mous. Discord, I can’t believe that I’m saying this, but should you succeed I’ll grant your… request to hold sunday slumber parties in the castle—on the grounds that they do not extend beyond the suites provided, everything is cleaned up by monday morning, and you don’t disturb anypony not involved with your antics.”
  616. >Discord giggles giddily, “Oh you won’t regret this, Celly old girl! We’ll be done,” Discord hooks his left arm with your right, “in a snap!” The draconaques snaps his fingers and suddenly you are somewhere else.
  617. >Below you is a cobbled street, to either side: brick walls. You look over at Discord.
  618. “That was surprisingly smooth. Whenever Twilight teleports us I end up almost vomiting.”
  619. >The creature grins, “Well, you can’t expect a mare to be gentle, now can you? And besides, you didn’t expect it, which is half the fun. Now,” He snaps his fingers again and there’s a heavy thump behind you, “Let’s get those rewards, shall we?”
  620. >The pair of you turn to see a strange creature. Like a centaur of legend crossed with a christian demon under a dirty grey cloak. “Discord,” the raspy voice asks, “you’re free?”
  621. >”As a bird.” The chaos lord shifts shape like you shift expressions.
  622. >The creature looks down at the chains covering its body from head to toe, “I should have known that those ponies would have done to you what they did to my brother.”
  623. >”I never did meet your brother.” Discord hums.
  624. >”He was tricked, Discord, like you have been tricked. Don’t you know what these ponies do? The chain you, not with iron, like you have done to me, but with ~friendship~. You are greater than this, Discord. You are legend. Help me to grow strong and you will have something more than friendship, you will have freedom. Once I’ve stripped these ponies of their magic, nothing would give me greater pleasure than to see their world turned upside down.”
  625. >The centaur held out its hand, “What say you?”
  626. >He couldn’t possibly be serious. Freedom? Freedom from what? Love and affection? The ponies placed the mildest of restrictions on you and, to the best of you knowledge, Discord as well, but by the look on his face Discord was actually considering the offer.
  627. “Really, Discord? Freedom? What possible freedom could this demon offer you that you don’t already have?”
  628. >”You don’t understand, Anon! I’m chaos! I’m havoc! I need to be set loose! To run amok! It’s in my nature!” The chimera yowls.
  629. ”And do what?”
  630. >”Whatever I want, of course!”
  631. “... like?”
  632. >”Well, last week I wanted to know what Bon Bon’s brains tasted like, so I thought I’d turn her entire head into a tootsie pop and see how many licks it would take to get to her center, but I couldn’t.”
  633. You try to block out the morbid image, “Why is that?”
  634. >”Because Fluttershy would have gotten mad at me.”
  635. >”See!” The centaur shouts, “Her false friendship took something from you! It takes from all of us. Even you, strange creature, haven’t the ponies asked too much of you? I could see why they would send Discord after me, but I could have killed you the second you appeared! They sent you to die.”

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