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(WARNING SERIOUS BAD VIBES AHEAD)
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>you remember when mommy used to love you
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>or maybe you had a different mommy
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>you weren’t really sure
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>it was so long ago to your small child brain
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>in your mind there are flashes of a white mare with a rainbow mane playing with you as a baby
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>she seemed gentle and kind
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>not like your mom, if she even let you call her that
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>last time you did she hit you in the face and threatened you
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>before walking off laughing
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>at least she didn’t burn you like she did when she was really mad
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>as several burn marks attest to
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>but it’s ok, the maids are nice to you!
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>though they don’t last long
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>so you still wanted that first mommy back
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>you’re pretty young but you don’t
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>anyways right now your mom is gone, thankfully and you’ve “snuck” into the library to read some daring do
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>snuck is the wrong word, the librarian and ‘Head necromancer’ Skull Whisper was really nice to you even if he smelled weird, and ponies didn’t like him
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>sometimes he wasn’t nice to grown up ponies but he was always seem nice to foals and whatever you were
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>he taught you how to read Unicornian and showed you all kinds of cool books
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>he was also the one pony who was nice to you who mom didn’t get rid of
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>something about him being super necessary to her regime
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>you hated the regime, besides Skull whisper and occasionally the maids, they were cool
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>as you continue to the part where Daring kicks the Azhiuotl in the face you notice something outside the window
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>at first that’s a loud zapping sound, something you are unfortunately used to
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>then the sky starts to go from reddish orange to blue, and it keeps getting bluer
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>Skull Whisper told you the sky used to be blue
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>you also vaguely remember another blue pony who was nice to you
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>so blue was your favorite color
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>but it didn’t stop
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>it was getting darker
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>and darker
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>in fact it was darker than you ever remember seeing it outside
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>you start to hear gasps
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>then you hear ponies cheering as guards scream
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>you’d be worried but the sight in front of you is too astonishing
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>as the sky reaches an almost blue black a huge white ball comes up
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>it’s more beautiful than anything you ever seen in your life
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>but it gets better!
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>there’s a slight twinkling in the sky
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>and then the twinkling is stronger
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>the sky is filled with lights
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>not just one big light
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>a bunch of them
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>you think you remember one of the maids talking about them
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>stars or something
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>you drop your book on the floor for once unconcerned about your mother’s punishment
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>they’re just too beautiful not to
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>it’s cool too!
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>but not dank!
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>nice and cool!
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>the sound of fighting is gone, you hear cheering
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>a knock on the door
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>not just a knock
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>you instinctively catch your breath and lean against the wall in fear of what awaits you
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>you aren't supposed to be here
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>you especially aren't supposed to be reading Daring Do
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>and whenever your mom did something big or lost she always came back madder than usual
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>you back up further than you ever thought you could onto the stone wall as you prepare for the worst
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>but instead of mom and a batallion of pegasi in red armor
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>there's a darker though less menacing Alicorn surrounded by Batponies in blue armor
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>her face is serious but doesn't bare the book of malice your mother did
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>she says something to the guards as they begin to check the room
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>then she looks at you with her big blue eyes
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>and she smiles
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>a smile that oddly enough puts you at ease
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>she's crying?
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>"ANONYMOUS HOW WE HAVE MISSED THEE DEARLY!"
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>before you can move she's lunging at you causing you to squeak in fear
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>she wraps her forehooves around you
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>you prepare for the worst
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>but the worst never comes
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>she just sits there sobbing over you as her head and starry mane brush against your face
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>"We art so happy thou art alive, our dearest Nightsong."
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>your blood freezes in a good way
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>you remember that name
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>this is the other Alicorn
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>not your mommy but still
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>you hug her back and cry unused to this level of love and concern
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>this mare who you didn't even know the name of was showing you more love in this second than you got in your life
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>you cry into her tuft as she makes shushing noises along with promises that it's all over
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>it feels like hours
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>you remove your head from her chest your tears reduced to a reasonable level as you look at her big beautiful blue eyes bursting with love for you
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>they were equally tear stained
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>you heard more hoofsteps as the bat guards started to look nervous
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>a smaller white Alicorn with a pink mane came out
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>the guards instinctively jerked away from her but you weren't sure why, she didn't look mean
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>she looked sad
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>maybe she needed a hug too?
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>you turn to look at her closer but when she locks eyes with you she flinches and backs away
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>your mom must have really hurt her if she was afraid of you of all creatures
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>you understood that with other foals
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>but she seemed like a grown up or at least a teen
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>though alicorns were bigger so maybe she was a foal
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>maybe she was the big blue one's daughter
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>you feel a wing gently stroke your face
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>you look back to the blue Alicorn who is now beaming at you
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>"Come nephew we have much to take care of."
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>she was your aunt
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>your mom said lots of bad things about your aunt Luna
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>but then again you didn't put much stake in her word anyways
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>so that means the white Alicorn is probably your new cousin!
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>maybe you'll get to live with your aunt now!
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>you have only one thought as you walk underneath your aunt's wing pressed against her soft body
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>this is the best day... no best night ever!
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>"Auntie Luna, ca-can, can we get some food.. please?"
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>your stomach growls
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>she looks at you
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>you flinch
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>normally your mom would chastise or mock you for such a request
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>"Of course dear, if thy stomach tis as hungry as it sounds we must get you fed post haste!"
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>she's smiling
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>it's a nice smile
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>the kind only Skull Whisper gave you
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>but without as much sadness
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>you've only really known her for 20 minutes but you already love your auntie Luna a lot
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>"Guards! Continue thine securing of the castle! We must attend to our nephew's stomach at the moment."
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>you've heard your mom give commands but this is less yelling at and more shouting towards
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>you don't really know what that means but it seems nicer
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>one guard comes up, it's a stallion and a big one too
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>he's kinda scary looking with his sharp fangs and eyepatch but if he's with Aunt Luna he's probably nice and just looks scary
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>plus he also looks afraid
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>you realized that you looked weird but you had a hard time thinking you were that scary
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>"Princess, what about.. Celestia?"
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>you heard that name before
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>Mom didn't like ponies saying it almost as much as she didn't like other ponies saying Luna
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>your Aunt's happy face turns to a frown
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>you know what happens when your mom frowns at guards and close your eyes
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>instead of a gory inferno she sighs
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>"Princess Celestia is in no state to challenge us, nor does she have any desire to."
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>the guard nods but still seems hesitant as he begins to take a majority of the batponies out of the library and into the corridors
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>the white alicorn is nowhere to be seen as your aunt talks your ear off on the way to the dining hall of the castle
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>all while the happy cheers and shouts of ponies fill the streets of Canterlot
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>you are Celestia
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>no
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>you aren’t
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>not anymore
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>you were Celestia
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>but you aren’t anymore
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>you don’t deserve that name
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>you are a monster and all you deserve is the worst form of death imaginable
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>you just want to crawl into a hole and die but you doubt there’s a hole in tartarus deep enough for your crimes
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>you betrayed your ponies
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>and enjoyed it
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>you enjoyed hurting them
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>you enjoyed crushing their hopes
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>showing them just how dependent on you they truly were
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>you killed most of the elements
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>you killed half the team you set up!
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>you killed Twilight!
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>the mare you practically raised slowly in cold blood
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>all while she tried to talk to the good still in you
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>she failed
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>on a more important note, though it is selfish
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>you hurt your sunshine
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>and you didn’t care
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>and you kept on hurting him
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>to the point of tears!
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>over and over again
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>physically and emotionally
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>any attempt at him reaching out was callously rebuked
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>HE ‘S AT MOST 7 AND NOW HE’S PROBABLY TRAUMATIZED FOR LIFE
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>and you’ve only felt horrible for it for around hour after being forced to!
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>all because of frustration at their supposed ‘pathetic dependence’ and lingering thoughts of your divine right
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>how can your face your subjects
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>how can you make it up to Anon when you’ve been everything a mother shouldn’t be?
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>you were supposed to give him comfort and you gave him fear!
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>you were supposed to give him safety and you gave him pain!
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>love instead of cruelty!
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>security instead of attacks!
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> you literally went back on every promise you made to him when you first found him
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>by the maker you want to die
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>you are followed by a silent cadre of Luna’s guards
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>they aren’t corralling you… yet but they follow you
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>silently they stalk through the halls as you wander aimlessly through the twisting hallway, trying to avoid the boy whose life you’ve ruined
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>you know that if it wasn’t for your sister’s orders they most likely would have killed you on the spot to the rejoicing of all of your former subjects
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>you don’t blame them
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>in fact if you had your way you would have had them kill you instantly
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>that way you’d never have to face anon
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>if the religions of the older times are right you clearly are going to two very separate places
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>he and Luna would be happy assuming she died, and well at least you could take some solace that your punishment will be well deserved
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>you stop as the heaving sobs take you
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>the clanking of arms stop as the guards follow suit
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I’m hic.. so sorry Sunshine..
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>your eyes shut with tears as your pink mane hangs limply over your face
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Mommy is so sorry
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>you let him down
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>you boldly rush towards one of the balconies making a break for it before the guards can stop you
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>normally such a fall would merely hurt but in a weakened state it would kill you
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>the guards are too slow as you feel the cold night air and look upon the moon for the first time in years
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>it’s light filtering through your tears
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>you pause for a second and look at the drop
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>it’s a common idea that suicides don’t go to Elysium
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>luckily that wasn’t an issue for you at the moment
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>with a last flap of your wings you leap and fling yourself off the castle balcony
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>finally
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>though it will never make up for what you did
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>it will at least give hope to many ponies out there
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>then you feel tingling
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>you’re being picked up
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>NO NO FAUST DAMN It!
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>WHY?
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>you struggle as you try to break free but this time your weakness goes against you
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>as you’re roughly plopped onto the stone balcony you stare at Luna’s guards
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>picking out the two dark grey Unicorn mares who saved your wretched life
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Why? Why did you save me?
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>the one to the right looks at you stoically
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>”Princess Luna’s orders.”
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>you aren’t sure whether to laugh or cry
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>so you do both
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