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Kit Kat and Miss.Eri by leaf

By kqaii
Created: 2021-08-31 04:32:04
Expiry: Never

  1. original author is leaf
  2. Reason this is posted here is because leaf doesn't bin this.
  3. ----------
  4. Ayy lmao
  5. Here's some Kitkat.
  6. ----------
  7. A Letter From Kitkat
  8.  
  9. "Such a paradox, isn't it?"
  10. >Anon lifts his head and breaks his attention away from the comic book he's been reading.
  11. >"Huh?"
  12. >He clearly wasn't listening to anything you've been saying.
  13. "Isn't it?"
  14. >You let a fair amount of nagging tone into your voice.
  15. >Anon's brow furrows and he snaps back at you, "What the fuck, Eri?"
  16. >Letting some air blast out of your nostrils, you jab your hoof at the book you've been talking about for the better part of twenty minutes.
  17. "It's such a paradox."
  18. >The human rolls onto his side, making your small bed creak under his weight.
  19. >"What the fuck is that?"
  20. >A vein pops out on your head.
  21. "The stupid book we're supposed to be reading for class! Are you even going to attempt to graduate, or just be a loser forever?"
  22. >You flick your tail behind you like a whip and Anonymous gives a flatulent noise, looking back to his comic.
  23. >"Well, you said it. It's stupid."
  24. >With a sigh you pick up your glass of wine and take a sip.
  25. "It's actually pretty interesting though."
  26. >Anon grunts and turns a page, "When ya become such a fuggin' nerd, Eri?"
  27.  
  28. >This human…
  29. "I'm not a nerd. It's a story about an outcast mare summoning a chaos spirit to get revenge on her enemies. It's cool."
  30. >Anon looks over at your book and raises an eyebrow.
  31. >"That does sound pretty cool…"
  32. >He smirks and goes back to the comic.
  33. >"You're still a gay though, bro."
  34. >There is no point in trying to convince him to do some school work.
  35. >He's hopeless.
  36. "I'm the only pony that talks to your obnoxious self, bro."
  37. >Anon hums and digs in his nose with his finger, "Nah, you're one of those prancing la la la homo fags. What time is it?"
  38. >You look up at the clock.
  39. "Time to go."
  40. >Anon stops digging for gold and glances up at the clock.
  41. >"Shit, already?"
  42. >You get up and put your book into your saddle bag.
  43. "Yup. Time flies when you're being dumb. Let's get to school so you can disappoint everypony once again."
  44. >Anon hops off of your bed and gives you a sardonic laugh.
  45. >"Quality bants, emo pony. Lemme take a piss before we leave."
  46. >He runs past you, slapping your flank on the way out of your room.
  47. >"Emo pony brapper!"
  48. >You sigh and shake your head, a faint smile coming to your face.
  49. >Anon thinks you invite him over to your house before school sometimes because you feel sorry for him.
  50. >The odd (asshole) human has absolutely no other friends to speak of.
  51. >But then again, neither do you…
  52. >And the truth is that it's not only a slight sense of pity that makes you invite him to your fortress of solitude.
  53. >It's genuinely nice to have someone to talk to.
  54. >Even if the conversations mainly consist of insults, toilet humor and sarcasm.
  55. >He's your best friend.
  56. >"Eri, this piss is turning to shit! I'm gonna be a while! Meet you out front!"
  57. >Your only friend.
  58.  
  59. "Look at that bird, Anon."
  60. >As the two of you walk to school, you stop to point a hoof at a large purple bird flying overhead.
  61. >Anon looks up and shields his eyes from the sun with a hand.
  62. "I think that's a Duskbloom Hawk… It's supposed to be a bad omen."
  63. >Great.
  64. >As if you needed more bad luck in your life.
  65. >Anon looks back at the road and starts walking again.
  66. >"Don't be dumb. Birds aren't real. Go ahead, try and debate me."
  67. >You roll your eyes and start plodding along after him.
  68. "Really? Then what was I just looking at?"
  69. >The human spins around and starts walking backwards, pointing a finger-gun at you.
  70. >"You lookin' fine, that's what."
  71. >He gives you a wink and you roll your eyes with a smirk.
  72. "You're like, the dumbest guy I know."
  73. >Anon shrugs, still walking backwards, "Ah, but you know of me?"
  74. "I know you're a loser."
  75. >Anon's attention shifts to something behind you.
  76. >You stop walking and follow his gaze.
  77. >A pony comes trotting up behind you and calls out in horrendously saccharine fashion.
  78. >"Heeeeeey!"
  79. >No...
  80. >Anything but this.
  81. >Not her...
  82. >There is a certain mare that goes to your school.
  83. >A mare you have absolutely no patience for.
  84. >Sure, Anon can be annoying.
  85. >But his annoyance is all in good fun.
  86. >This mare is anything but fun.
  87. "Hello, Kitkat…"
  88.  
  89. >The accessory-adorned pony either doesn't pick up on the venom in your voice, or simply chooses to ignore it.
  90. >She comes to a stop beside you and beams up at Anon.
  91. >"I saw the two of you walking. Are you heading to school?"
  92. >Seriously?
  93. >Anon keeps a straight face and shakes his head, "No, we were just heading to the park to do drugs and listen to depressing music. Wanna come?"
  94. >Pfff…
  95. >Kitkat blinks at Anon with her trademark dumbass expression.
  96. >Anon doesn't really know her, as she isn't in any of his classes.
  97. >He has no idea how devoid of intelligence this one is.
  98. >How annoying she is.
  99. >How-
  100. >"Are you being serious right now?"
  101. >Gullible she is...
  102. >Anon looks at you in confusion.
  103. >You close your eyes and start walking once more.
  104. "He's joking. We're on our way to school, obviously."
  105. >Please, just let her take the hint and leave you alone.
  106. >Kitkat starts walking at your side and begins her babbling.
  107. >"Miss Eri, I got a new record yesterday and wanted to know if you've heard it yet?"
  108. "Mhmm."
  109. >Just like her fashion sense, Kitkat's musical tastes were of equal parts suck.
  110. >This pony unironically listened to hip hop regularly…
  111. >And she tried to talk to you about that crap, no matter how many times you told her that you hated it.
  112. >"It's by a band called Blood Spell. It just came out yesterday and I had to buy a copy! Have you heard of them, Eri?"
  113. >You look over at her and your eyes lock onto the necklace she's wearing.
  114. >It looks like she hot-glued a razor blade to a choker.
  115. >Seriously?
  116. >With all of the jelly bracelets on her legs, those 'Bucks' brand headphones, the fake vampire teeth she wore sometimes-
  117. >Holy shit, this poser pony really pissed you off.
  118. >"Blood Spell?"
  119.  
  120. >You snap your attention to Anon.
  121. >He looks down at Kitkat with his hands behind his head as he walks.
  122. >Kitkat gives him a slutty little smile and nods like a whorse, "Yeah! Have you heard 'em?"
  123. >Anon nods, "Yeah. I liked their early stuff. When they were screaming more."
  124. >Kitkat's tail flicks in excitement and she turns her babble beam upon your human friend.
  125. >"Oh yeah, they do a lot of that on the new album! You should really check it out! I'm Kitkat by the way, I don't think we've met. But I already know you're Anonymous. Everypony knows that, haha… You're sort of hard to miss."
  126. >What is happening?
  127. >This is like some bizarro nightmare.
  128. >How could you get rid of this annoying bucking mare?
  129. >She was like a tick.
  130. >Digging in and seeping her disease of plastic abhorrence into your vital organs.
  131. >Maybe you could convince her to go home and use her dad's grill in her room?
  132. >She's dumb enough to do it…
  133. >"If you want, you could come to my place after school and listen to it? I have this super dope sound system in my basement because my dad is a DJ and-"
  134. >You cut off Kitkat's offer to Anonymous by grabbing your human's pant leg and tugging him away from the succubus.
  135. "Anon, I just remembered that we have to go talk to Mrs. Gertrude about our botany project… See you later, Kitkat."
  136. >The annoying pony is left standing alone with a dim look of confusion sprawled upon her face at the entrance of the school.
  137. >"Hey-" Anon tries to remove your hoof from his pants, but you only pull harder.
  138. >"Eri, what the fuck? We don't have a botany project."
  139. >You can hear Kitkat calling out her goodbyes behind you and hiss at Anon as you tug.
  140. "Shut up! Just keep walking!"
  141. >Anon gives up the fight and starts to let you guide him.
  142. >"What's your deal? Seems like that pony was getting your panties in a bunch."
  143. >You flatten your ears and avoid his gaze.
  144. "She's not what she seems, Anon. She's an awful pony."
  145. >He chuckles and ruffles your mane.
  146. >"Aww, you were jealous, huh?"
  147. >You flinch and bat his hand away from your head.
  148. "Jealous?! Of her?"
  149. >Anon stoops down, giving you a shit-eating grin.
  150. >"You're jealous of her style, right?"
  151.  
  152. >You blink at him, at a loss for words.
  153. >"Seems like she's rich. But it's okay, Eri. I can make you one of those edgy razor necklace things if you want, you fucking gay."
  154. >He reaches forward and boops your nose.
  155. >Lurching back, you sputter and feel your face turn red hot as you look around in a panic.
  156. >Thankfully, nopony is watching as Anon does his stupid guffaw.
  157. >Your muzzle scrunches and you whip around, turning your back on him.
  158. "Don't you dare… I wouldn't be caught dead wearing something so cringey!"
  159. >Anon wraps up his chuckle fest and sighs, clearly proud of his idiocy.
  160. >"Ah, whatever. See you at lunch, bro."
  161. >You turn around quickly.
  162. "Wait, Anon-"
  163. >He takes off running past you, slapping your flank as he passes.
  164. >"Jealous emo brapper! HA!"
  165. >Again, your face flushes as you watch the human run like a spaz into the school.
  166. >You call out after him before he disappears.
  167. "Just stay away from her, Anon!"
  168.  
  169. >It's third period.
  170. >History.
  171. >The Duskbloom Hawk was surely a sign of ominous events to come...
  172. >Kitkat sits right behind you in this class.
  173. >As the teacher lectures from the front of the room, you cannot help but be completely distracted by the sound of Kitkat crunching some sort of hard candy between her stupid teeth.
  174. >Everything.
  175. >Every single thing this pony does seems to be rooted in some sort of cosmic design cast forth to piss you off.
  176. >Before you can grind your teeth to dust, you turn around and glare at her.
  177. >She pushes a bundle of paper close to your muzzle.
  178. >Your eyes cross as you focus on the folded note she presents to you.
  179. >While crunching on her candy, she grins and wiggles the note near your snout.
  180. >That vein in your head that Anon always points out throbs and you snatch the paper from her hoof.
  181. >Turning around again, you open the note hastily and read.
  182. >'Heeeey, so what's the deal with you and Anon?'
  183. >Along with the message, she has drawn several cutesy hearts and skulls.
  184. >What a whorse.
  185. >With clenched teeth, you take up your quill and scribble a reply.
  186. >Wadding the note up in a ball, you dump it over your wither unceremoniously onto Kitkat's desk.
  187. >You look back up at the teacher as you hear Kitkat unball the note.
  188. >'He's my best friend. Don't talk to him. He eats meat and doesn't like other ponies' was your reply.
  189. >Behind you, there's the sound of a quill scratching furiously, accompanied by a cacophony of crunching candy.
  190. >Buck.
  191. >You have to literally fight the urge to turn around and buck that stupid candy out of her stupid mouth.
  192. >The note comes flying past your muzzle and lands on your desk.
  193. >Against your better judgement, you pick it up and open it to read.
  194. >'So he's single?'
  195.  
  196. >You heart skips a beat and the blood drains from your face.
  197. >No…
  198. >Turning around, you cast a disbelieving look at Kitkat.
  199. >She gulps down her candy and holds her quill up with an infuriating grin, pantomiming for you to write a reply.
  200. >Giving her a death glare, you turn back around and start scratching at the parchment in a fury.
  201. >This time, you reach behind you and slap the note down on her desk with force.
  202. >'Don't even try to get with him. He's not interested in ponies. Seriously. He'll just break your heart.'
  203. >There's no way you could let this plastic mare try to worm her way into Anon's life.
  204. >He was such a horny dumbass, he would actually let her… Sully him.
  205. >Kitkat takes some time writing her reply.
  206. >It feels like forever as you wait for her disgusting response.
  207. >Finally, she drops the note over your wither and onto your desk.
  208. >You rip it open and stare with wide eyes at the message.
  209. >Under your reply, she has drawn some sort of black heart with a crack going down the middle of it.
  210. >Above it is written in cursive, 'One Love'.
  211. >Underneath the heart she has written her message.
  212. >'I was thinking about getting this tattooed just above my tail. What do you think?'
  213. >You can't help but groan.
  214. >Writing a simple 'Do it', you toss the note back to her and try to calm your nerves.
  215. >The bell rings, making you flinch.
  216. >Ponies start getting up all around you and the teacher yells out his final instructions as students make a run for it.
  217. >Kitkat gets up behind you and takes off at a brisk pace.
  218. >"See you later, Miss Eri! I'm off to go catch me a real big fish! Ha!"
  219.  
  220. >Where is he?
  221. >WHERE THE BUCK IS HE?!
  222. >The bell rings, letting you know that you're missing your next class.
  223. >It took quite some time to gallop across campus to the gym.
  224. >Anon's current class.
  225. >On the way over, you saw Kitkat galloping near the cafeteria.
  226. >No doubt, she was looking for Anon.
  227. >Dumb bimbo.
  228. >She had some damn strong initiative though, you had to give her that…
  229. >Stumbling into the gym and out of breath, you quickly scan the crowd of ponies waiting for class to start.
  230. >It's very easy to see that Anon is clearly not among the group.
  231. >You trot over to the nearest stallion and bark at him like some sort of freak.
  232. "Do you know where Anon is?"
  233. >The startled stallion blinks at you.
  234. >"Uh, I think he's still in the locker room?"
  235. "Thanks!"
  236. >You turn and gallop full tilt toward the stallion's locker room.
  237. >Kitkat.
  238. >Kitkat.
  239. >KITKAT.
  240. >The thought of that phony pony crunching her stupid candy and sliding her scummy hooves over Anon's body makes your blood boil.
  241. >You fling open the locker room door and go charging in.
  242. >Turning a corner, you come sliding to a stop in the middle of the locker room.
  243. "Anon!"
  244. >Your eyes fall on the human, standing alone near a bench.
  245. >He gazes back at you with his mouth hanging open.
  246. >Naked as the day he was born.
  247.  
  248. >The two of you lock gazes in silence as you stand with your legs spread wide, panting like a banshee with lung cancer.
  249. >Anon doesn't even try to cover his dangling bits.
  250. >"Ayy… Welcome to my sex room?"
  251. >You gulp and straighten up, your face set in a serious gaze.
  252. "Anon…"
  253. >The human chuckles nervously and looks around as you start to stalk toward him.
  254. >"Eri, not that I'm complaining, but… What the fuck are you doing?"
  255. >You turn your eyes toward his groin as you stomp closer, hoof by hoof.
  256. >Finally, he covers up with his hands and takes a step back.
  257. >"Jesus, are you going to bite me? Seriously, Eri! What the fu-"
  258. >You snap your gaze back up to his face and try to summon your most commanding voice.
  259. "Anon."
  260. >He looks back at you in a state of absolute uncertainty.
  261. >"What?!"
  262. >It's now or never.
  263. >Looking around you, your eyes settle on a bench to your right.
  264. >Perfect.
  265. >You lunge toward it and throw your legs over the other side.
  266. >Now straddling the bench, you turn back toward your human and fight your hardest not to let a stutter creep into your voice.
  267. "Anon…"
  268. >This is the first time you've ever seen the cocky human at a loss for words.
  269. >His back presses against the locker behind him.
  270. "Take me… Right here. Right now."
  271.  
  272. >With a nervous chuckle, he seems to regain some composure, yet still grips his genitals with nervous defensiveness.
  273. >"Ha… Fuck you…"
  274. >You gulp and nod.
  275. "Y-Yeah. That's what I want. Right here."
  276. >Anon looks around the locker room again, then back at you in disbelief.
  277. >"You're serious? For real?"
  278. "Anon. Please. I'm dead serious."
  279. >"But, Eri… I'm not- this is kind of sudden."
  280. >He removes his hands from his bits and looks down.
  281. >"I'm not really ready, if you know what I mean?"
  282. >You lift your tail and hoist it over your back, exposing everything to him.
  283. "WELL I AM."
  284. >The human swallows forcefully, his eyes locked onto your wet and winking folds.
  285. >What was this feeling?
  286. >It's like you have lost control.
  287. >Something primal has taken hold of your body and mind.
  288. >Instinct.
  289. >It feels boiling hot and charged with bloody fury, coursing through every nerve and out to the tips of your body every which way.
  290. >There are only two thoughts in your mind:
  291. >The thought of Kitkat touching Anon.
  292. >Your Anon.
  293. >Your man.
  294. >And the main thought taking up space in your buzzing head- somehow reverberating out in furious waves through your body…
  295. "Anon, I need you to take me. Right. Now. If you don't put that thing inside of me right now, I'm going to explode."
  296. >He nods with wide eyes and you can see that he is now more than ready.
  297. >He disconnects himself from the locker and quickly stumbles over to you.
  298. >"Whatever you say, Eri…"
  299.  
  300.  
  301. >You lay slumped across the cool wooden locker room bench.
  302. >Sweat still slides down your face.
  303. >What the buck just happened?
  304. >With tired eyes, you look over to where Anon is laying on the long bench.
  305. >He looks absolutely drained, flat on his back and panting toward the ceiling with his eyes closed.
  306. >Your eyes work slowly over the sight of sweat glistening over his frame.
  307. >It was amazing.
  308. >And it lasted forever.
  309. >Looking at the clock, you see that the period is half over.
  310. >The two of you had furiously tore at each other all over this locker room.
  311. >On benches.
  312. >In the showers.
  313. >In the bathroom stalls.
  314. >Even in the gym teacher's office.
  315. >It was truly amazing that nopony had come in and happened upon the two of you clawing at each other like rabid dragons in a soul bond.
  316. >Nopony ever told you how much sex would make you sore…
  317. >Well, nopony had ever been with a human, as far as you knew.
  318. >It's probably going to hurt to even go to the bathroom for the next couple of days.
  319. >"Eri?"
  320. >You lay your muzzle against the cool wood of the bench and smile.
  321. >A smile of victory.
  322. "Yeah?"
  323. >Anon groans and shifts his weight on the hard bench.
  324. >You knew he was trying to fight through the pain of all those bites you covered his neck and shoulders with.
  325. >"I love you."
  326. >Your eyes shoot back open and your head raises off the wood unconsciously.
  327. "What?"
  328. >Turning, you see Anon smile at the ceiling and lazily raise a finger.
  329. >"No homo…"
  330. >A laugh escapes you from deep within your belly and you flop back down on the bench.
  331. "You're definitely the dumbest guy I know, Anon."
  332.  
  333. The End.
  334.  

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