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MLP:RtM 1-2 Friendship is Magic

By Alaric
Created: 2021-12-12 02:48:26
Updated: 2023-10-09 23:59:48
Expiry: Never
anonvinyl scratchtwilight sparklesafe/aie/adventure

  1. 1.
    Source: https://pastebin.com/HJcCY4dK
  2. 2.
    Author: TMPony
  3. 3.
    ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  4. 4.
    My Little Pony: Reliving the Magic
  5. 5.
     
  6. 6.
    >There's a bright flash of light and you wake up on the floor of Golden Oaks Library
  7. 7.
    >A purple pony with cute bangs is looking down on you in awe
  8. 8.
    "Twilight...?"
  9. 9.
    >"Wow! I can't believe the summoning spell worked! But how do you know my name?"
  10. 10.
    >Pretty sure you read this greentext on /mlp/ before
  11. 11.
    >You sit up, holding your pounding, groggy head
  12. 12.
    >You sigh and take a deep breath
  13. 13.
    "Your spell brought me here from another world. In my world, stories of your adventures... the adventures of Twilight Sparkle and her friends... they're told in a television show."
  14. 14.
    >"A what?"
  15. 15.
    "It’s like... you have film projectors, right?”
  16. 16.
    >Of course they do.
  17. 17.
    >Episode 48: Hurricane Fluttershy.
  18. 18.
    >You have a freakishly good memory of the show.
  19. 19.
    >Makes sense, since you are pretty obsessed with it.
  20. 20.
    “I know all about you and your adventures. You and your friends use the magic of friendship to accomplish many awesome things. Stopping Discord... Saving the Crystal Empire... Becoming a princess...”
  21. 21.
    >Suddenly, there's a sinking feeling in your chest.
  22. 22.
    >You jump to your feet and sidestep around Twilight
  23. 23.
    >nowings.jpg
  24. 24.
    >Also, Golden Oaks Library was destroyed at the end of Season 4
  25. 25.
    >Your heart starts pounding
  26. 26.
    >You grab her
  27. 27.
    "What... WHICH EPISODE IS THIS?"
  28. 28.
    >She shoves you away
  29. 29.
    >”What the heck are you talking about?! I...”
  30. 30.
    >She slumps down onto the floor and tears start to form in her eyes
  31. 31.
    >”I don’t have any friends.”
  32. 32.
    >Your eyes grow wide
  33. 33.
    >It’s the beginning of Friendship is Magic part 1.
  34. 34.
    >WhathaveIdone.jpg
  35. 35.
     
  36. 36.
    >You nervously pace a in a circle around the room
  37. 37.
    >Shitshitshitshit this is bad
  38. 38.
    >Have I ruined the spacetime continuum or some shit by spoiling the future?
  39. 39.
    >Twilight watches you carefully with fear in her eyes
  40. 40.
    >"Why... why are you upset? Aren't you here to help me? I summoned you to help me..."
  41. 41.
    "With?"
  42. 42.
    >"...Nightmare Moon."
  43. 43.
    >You sigh and resume your pacing
  44. 44.
    >Think, Anon, think
  45. 45.
    >Living in a happy land of colorful talking ponies has always been your dream
  46. 46.
    >You're not about to let it be ruined by eternal darkness and sad ponies
  47. 47.
    >And here Twilight is, summoning you instead of making friends in Episode 1
  48. 48.
    >Damn it Celestia, you could've told her why she needs to make friends!
  49. 49.
    >No, it has to be unplanned. Candid.
  50. 50.
    >She has to genuinely make friends with the others, without having a motive
  51. 51.
    >OK, Anon, you can fix this
  52. 52.
    "Who's handling the Summer Sun Celebration preparations?"
  53. 53.
    >"I sent Spike out to go take care of them so I could come here and try to figure out a plan."
  54. 54.
    "How long ago?"
  55. 55.
    >"About thirty minutes."
  56. 56.
    >You grab her by the shoulder and head for the door
  57. 57.
    "We have to find him. Now."
  58. 58.
    >You bust out the door and start heading down the street in search of the nearest mane 6
  59. 59.
    >Ponyville is just like you've always imagined it.
  60. 60.
    >It's magical
  61. 61.
    >But if you fuck this up it won't stay this way for long
  62. 62.
     
  63. 63.
    >You spot Rainbow Dash lazing around on a nearby cloud
  64. 64.
    >It's the only cloud, the sky is otherwise clear
  65. 65.
    >Fuck
  66. 66.
    "Hey, Rainbow Dash!"
  67. 67.
    >She looks down to see who is calling her
  68. 68.
    >She flips out at the sight of a human
  69. 69.
    >"Whoa! A talking monkey!"
  70. 70.
    "I'm not a talking monkey, I'm... never mind. Just call me Anon."
  71. 71.
    >"Nice to meet you!"
  72. 72.
    "Right. Look, I need to introduce you to my really awesome friend, Twilight Sparkle."
  73. 73.
    >You gesture in Twilight's direction
  74. 74.
    >She gives a sheepish smile and doesn't say anything
  75. 75.
    >What is this? Is she Fluttershy now?
  76. 76.
    >You look back at Rainbow
  77. 77.
    "You guys should be friends."
  78. 78.
    >There is an awkward silence
  79. 79.
    >Rainbow shifts uncomfortably
  80. 80.
    >"Yeah I gotta get back to clearing the sky. This one last cloud is a real pain. Bye!"
  81. 81.
    >She flies away
  82. 82.
    >Fuck
  83. 83.
    >You notice a nearby mud puddle
  84. 84.
    >Idea!
  85. 85.
    >You shove Twilight down and she falls in the mud
  86. 86.
    >"Hey! What the--?"
  87. 87.
    "SHH!"
  88. 88.
    >You cup your hand to your mouth and yell upward
  89. 89.
    "Hey Rainbow Dash! Can you clean Twilight up?"
  90. 90.
    >Rainbow stares at you blankly
  91. 91.
    "With rain, or something?"
  92. 92.
    >"Oh, sure! Coming right up!"
  93. 93.
    >She uses her cloud to make dump some water on Twilight
  94. 94.
    >Twilight looks pissed
  95. 95.
    >She does the Rainblow Dry
  96. 96.
    >Twilight looks pissed
  97. 97.
    >You breathe a sigh of relief
  98. 98.
    "Wow, look at how good of friends you are! Well anyway, got to go! Bye!"
  99. 99.
    >You drag Twilight away
  100. 100.
    >Twilight looks pissed
  101. 101.
     
  102. 102.
    >You're standing in an orchard at Sweet Apple Acres
  103. 103.
    >Twilight's hair looks like shit
  104. 104.
    >OK you may have done this in the wrong order
  105. 105.
    >Maybe your memory of the show wasn't all that great
  106. 106.
    >Whatever
  107. 107.
    >You approach the food table and find some ponies cleaning up... dirty dishes
  108. 108.
    >Fuck, you missed brunch
  109. 109.
    >Suddenly it dawns on you
  110. 110.
    >Doing it in the wrong order fucked up all of the timing
  111. 111.
    >You missed Twilight's chance to meet Applejack
  112. 112.
    "Um, excuse me? Has a little purple dragon come by here?"
  113. 113.
    >Twilight's just decided to stay quiet and let you do all of the talking
  114. 114.
    >She's confused enough as it is
  115. 115.
    >That this human she summoned from another world just started marching around introducing her to people
  116. 116.
    >"He was here a little while ago. He was checking on the food for the Summer--"
  117. 117.
    "Good. Where's Applejack?"
  118. 118.
    >"She went back to apple bucking."
  119. 119.
    "Thanks."
  120. 120.
    >You storm off
  121. 121.
    >Twilight hesitates
  122. 122.
    >You turn and wave her on
  123. 123.
    "COME ON!"
  124. 124.
    >The two of you climb to the top of a hill
  125. 125.
    >You gaze over the vast rolling fields of Sweet Apple Acres
  126. 126.
    >Acres and acres covered in a dense canopy of apple treetops
  127. 127.
    >Orangehat could be anywhere
  128. 128.
    >Fuck everything
  129. 129.
     
  130. 130.
    >The sun is already starting to go down
  131. 131.
    >You've been wandering around the farm for hours
  132. 132.
    >You never realized it was so big from watching the show
  133. 133.
    >You wanted to die the third time you circled around the future CMC clubhouse
  134. 134.
    >Your feet hurt
  135. 135.
    >Twilight looks tired and bored
  136. 136.
    >Welp, good job, Anon, you single handedly fucked up all of FiM continuity
  137. 137.
    >It could've been a perfect world but nope
  138. 138.
    >Now it's going to be nighttime eternal and all of the mane 6 are going to be enslaved
  139. 139.
    >And it's all your fault
  140. 140.
    >Suddenly, you spot a bit of orange in the distance
  141. 141.
    >Applejack carrying a bucket of apples
  142. 142.
    >You break into a sprint, screaming
  143. 143.
    "APPLEJACK! APPLEJACK!"
  144. 144.
    >She was always your waifu but you never thought you'd be this happy to see her
  145. 145.
    >Tears streaming from your eyes as you approach her
  146. 146.
    >She freaks and bucks you in the chest
  147. 147.
    >You fly backwards into a tree and hit your head
  148. 148.
    >You black out
  149. 149.
     
  150. 150.
    >You come to
  151. 151.
    >You're back in Golden Oaks Library, on the bed
  152. 152.
    >"Anon?"
  153. 153.
    >Twilight is there looking down on you once again
  154. 154.
    >"Anon! You're awake!"
  155. 155.
    >She smiles and sits back on her haunches
  156. 156.
    >"I'm so glad you're all right."
  157. 157.
    "How...?"
  158. 158.
    >"I carried you back from the farm after that crazy mare kicked you."
  159. 159.
    >Uh oh
  160. 160.
    >"You must've startled her pretty badly! I guess she'd never seen a human before. Nobody has."
  161. 161.
    >You close your eyes
  162. 162.
    >"So I carried you back to the library. Some random pony was here trying to throw a welcome party but I kicked them out so you can get some rest."
  163. 163.
    >Wow, way to fuck it up even more, Twilight
  164. 164.
    >Still, if you hadn't acted like some autistic faggot back there with Applejack, this wouldn't have happened
  165. 165.
    "I'm such an idiot..."
  166. 166.
    >"I don't think you're an idiot, Anon! Besides, don't worry. We won't have to talk to her any more."
  167. 167.
    >Great
  168. 168.
    >"Because you're gonna tell me exactly what's going on."
  169. 169.
    >GREAT
  170. 170.
     
  171. 171.
    >You gaze into Twilight's eyes
  172. 172.
    "I'm from the future."
  173. 173.
    >"You're from the FUTURE?"
  174. 174.
    "Yes, and--"
  175. 175.
    >"I can't believe time travel is really possible! How did you, I mean, I figure it out?"
  176. 176.
    >God damn it Twilight
  177. 177.
    >Wrong episode
  178. 178.
    "Listen. You've been right all along about Nightmare Moon. She's going to appear in the morning before dawn."
  179. 179.
    >Twilight gasps
  180. 180.
    >"I knew it! But... what do we do?"
  181. 181.
    >She looks at you with puppy dog eyes
  182. 182.
    >"Please..."
  183. 183.
    >Don't do this to me, Twilight
  184. 184.
    >Don't put the fate of your world in my hands
  185. 185.
    "You're the one who summoned me, Twilight. You're the one who foresaw all of this. You have to be the one who defeats her. Not me. But I will tell you what to do."
  186. 186.
    >She hesitates
  187. 187.
    >"OK. Tell me what I have to do."
  188. 188.
    "Well, you have to--"
  189. 189.
    >Wait, you can't tell her she needs to make friends with Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, and Fluttershy
  190. 190.
    >If she knows about it, their friendship won't be real
  191. 191.
    >And the Elements of Harmony won't work
  192. 192.
    "...You have to do exactly as I tell you."
  193. 193.
     
  194. 194.
    >You had to harass a few ponies in the wee hours of the night but apparently a few of them were heading to a party.
  195. 195.
    >Pinkie Pie probably decided to hold the all-night party at Sugarcube Corner instead of the library
  196. 196.
    >You decide to bring Spike along
  197. 197.
    >Not sure how he might help but what the hay
  198. 198.
    >The three of you arrive at the front door of the place, where you're greeted by that familiar bouncy pink party pony
  199. 199.
    >Her smile explodes into an even bigger smile at the sight of you
  200. 200.
    >Your heart fucking melts
  201. 201.
    >Time for a new waifu
  202. 202.
    >Your last one fucked you up, anyway
  203. 203.
    >"ANON! You're feeling better! Ohmygosh I'm so happy you're better! I was going to have a big welcome party for Twilight but--"
  204. 204.
    "Don't worry, Pinkie, I heard the story. Thanks for being so considerate. It's a pleasure to meet you."
  205. 205.
    >She ushers you inside, almost forgetting to invite Twilight and Spike in as well
  206. 206.
    >It's crowded
  207. 207.
    >You walk into the party with your usual swagger and all heads turn toward you
  208. 208.
    >Damn, you still got it
  209. 209.
    >Sure, they were all shocked by the sight of a human, but who cares
  210. 210.
    >This is a party
  211. 211.
    >You can do this
  212. 212.
    >You went to parties all the time
  213. 213.
    >Sure, you were introverted back home, but you can handle a party
  214. 214.
    >You're not some autistic sperglord
  215. 215.
    >You lean up against the punch table and grab a sip while you scan the room
  216. 216.
    >Rarity, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, check
  217. 217.
    >Wait
  218. 218.
    >Where's yellowquiet
  219. 219.
    "Hey, Pinkie Pie."
  220. 220.
    >"Yeah Anon?"
  221. 221.
    >she responds with extra bubbliness
  222. 222.
    >Does she have a thing for you?
  223. 223.
    >Nah she must do this with everyone
  224. 224.
    >Don't fall for it
  225. 225.
    "I heard about this really great pony named Fluttershy. Is she here?"
  226. 226.
    >Pinkie Pie suddenly looks sad
  227. 227.
    >Fuck, no
  228. 228.
    >Fuck
  229. 229.
    >Wait, Pinkie
  230. 230.
    >It's not like that
  231. 231.
    >"Umm, no. She was too shy to come."
  232. 232.
    >GOD DAMN IT FLUTTERSHY
  233. 233.
    >You're social enough to party at a library but not at Sugarcube Corner?!
  234. 234.
    >Wait, actually that makes a lot of sense
  235. 235.
     
  236. 236.
    >You call Twilight and Spike over
  237. 237.
    "Okay, Twilight, you need to make friends with that white one over there."
  238. 238.
    >You point at Rarity, hanging out with Vinyl Scratch over by the hors d'oeuvres
  239. 239.
    >Twilight looks hesitant, but she trusts you
  240. 240.
    >She has no other choice
  241. 241.
    >No one else who can guide her
  242. 242.
    >"Got it!"
  243. 243.
    "Spike, I need you to help Twilight out. Be her wingman. I can count on you for that, right?"
  244. 244.
    >Spike looks unsure of himself
  245. 245.
    >But he agrees
  246. 246.
    >"Yes, sir!"
  247. 247.
    >He salutes you
  248. 248.
    >Fucking adorable
  249. 249.
    "Good. I need to run an errand. Don't worry, it's part of the mission. I'll be back soon. Keep the party alive."
  250. 250.
    >Team Anon nods in understanding and wishes you luck
  251. 251.
    >"Oooh, Oooh! What do I do?!"
  252. 252.
    >Pinkie startles you and you nearly drop your cup of punch
  253. 253.
    >She was eavesdropping
  254. 254.
    "Pinkie! Um... I... I..."
  255. 255.
    >She just looks at you intently
  256. 256.
    "Just, go help Twilight. I need to..."
  257. 257.
    >"Go get Fluttershy?" She says sadly
  258. 258.
    >This pony is tearing your heartstrings out
  259. 259.
    >Gah! Suck it up, Anon! Be a man!
  260. 260.
    >When you're saving the world you might have to break a few hearts
  261. 261.
    >You leave the party
  262. 262.
     
  263. 263.
    >As a grown man watching the show, you never thought the Everfree Forest was all that scary
  264. 264.
    >Holy fuck is it scary
  265. 265.
    >You think to yourself as you walk along the path alongside it, leading to Fluttershy's house
  266. 266.
    >Now, you know you have to handle Fluttershy delicately if you're going to win her over and get her to come with you to the party
  267. 267.
    >You've been going over it in your head again and again but still haven't come up with anything
  268. 268.
    >You finally make it to the door but just stand there, frozen, trying to think about how to word it
  269. 269.
    >All of the lights are off
  270. 270.
    >She's probably asleep
  271. 271.
    >If some strange talking monkey you've never met came to your door in the middle of the night and asked you to go with him to a party, would you go?
  272. 272.
    >Well, maybe
  273. 273.
    >But Fluttershy wouldn't, that's for sure
  274. 274.
    >Ugh, you should've brought Pinkie Pie with you
  275. 275.
    >She'd know what to do
  276. 276.
    >But it took so long to walk here, there's no time to go back
  277. 277.
    >You decided to just say fuck it and knock on the door a few times.
  278. 278.
    >...
  279. 279.
    >Nothing
  280. 280.
    >You try again
  281. 281.
    >Suddenly, a tiny crack in the door opens
  282. 282.
    >It's a bear
  283. 283.
    >You jump backwards and are paralyzed with fear
  284. 284.
    >Welp, sorry I couldn't save Equestria
  285. 285.
    >Didn't even get to score any hot pony ass
  286. 286.
    >Is it sad that that's the thing you regret most?
  287. 287.
     
  288. 288.
    "Mr. Bear!" How rude! Please apologize!"
  289. 289.
    >Fluttershy squeezes past the bear at the door and starts to walk forward
  290. 290.
    >You see her wearing sexiest nightgown you've ever seen
  291. 291.
    >She sees you trembling with fear on the ground, about to wet your pants
  292. 292.
    >Pretty intimidating, I know
  293. 293.
    >But she still turns bright red and runs back inside the house and closes it, embarrassed that you saw her in her nightwear
  294. 294.
    >Guess she doesn't think of you as an animal. That's a good sign.
  295. 295.
    >This is your chance to high-tail it out of there, but you decide to grow a pair and go back to the door
  296. 296.
    >There's a bear behind it, but there's also a Fluttershy
  297. 297.
    >A Fluttershy that you need to save the world
  298. 298.
    >You wait a few moments, then knock again
  299. 299.
    >You hear growling again, and bend your knees to get ready to run
  300. 300.
    >But you hear Fluttershy's soft cooing and then she opens the door a crack and slips outside
  301. 301.
    >She's not wearing anything, now
  302. 302.
    >Somehow, that's less arousing
  303. 303.
    >Weird huh
  304. 304.
    >"Can I help you?"
  305. 305.
    "Yeah. Um. My name is Anon. What's your name?"
  306. 306.
    >She mumbles softly
  307. 307.
    "Uh, sorry, I didn't quite catch that..."
  308. 308.
    >She murmurs softly and starts to whimper
  309. 309.
    >Why isn't this gag as funny in real life
  310. 310.
    >Fluttershy, the original sperglord, everyone
  311. 311.
    >At least her awkwardness makes you feel less weird about creeping around her house at 2 AM
  312. 312.
     
  313. 313.
    >You carefully explain to Fluttershy that it's extremely important that she comes to this party
  314. 314.
    >You can't tell her why but she NEEDS to
  315. 315.
    >You start bullshitting about how Pinkie Pie is sad that she didn't come and how you have this awesome friend named Twilight Sparkle that she needs to meet
  316. 316.
    >She doesn't seem sold yet
  317. 317.
    "Also, have you met Pinkie Pie's cute toothless alligator, Gummy?"
  318. 318.
    >Don't do it, Anon
  319. 319.
    >Stop your fucking mouth
  320. 320.
    "He's uh, really, really sick!"
  321. 321.
    >She slams the door and you hear rummaging around inside
  322. 322.
    >She appears back at the door with her hat on and her medicine basket hanging from her mouth
  323. 323.
    >"Well, let's GO, Anon!"
  324. 324.
    >Ohboyherewego.jpg
  325. 325.
     
  326. 326.
    "And she's really smart and likes books. Also, she likes animals, and she has this talking baby dragon who's a really cool guy..."
  327. 327.
    >Fluttershy smiles and nods but has her mind elsewhere
  328. 328.
    >Gummy, probably
  329. 329.
    >When Sugarcube Corner is in sight you hustle to get in front of Fluttershy
  330. 330.
    >Which is hard because she's on a mission
  331. 331.
    >You start jogging and make it to the door
  332. 332.
    >Loud noises coming from inside
  333. 333.
    >Good, party's still going strong
  334. 334.
    "Wait here while I go ask Pinkie Pie..."
  335. 335.
    >"That's OK. I know where Gummy is. I'll just go upstairs without interrupting the party."
  336. 336.
    "Hahaha! No need for that! Just wait here!"
  337. 337.
    >You block the door
  338. 338.
    >She tries to push past you
  339. 339.
    >The door swings open and you both fall on the floor, inside
  340. 340.
    >Fluttershy's on top of you
  341. 341.
    >Pinkie Pie is standing above both of you
  342. 342.
    >Pretty sure you've seen this harem anime before
  343. 343.
    >"Pinkie! Is Gummy all right?! I'm here to help! You fed him candy again, didn't you?"
  344. 344.
    >"Fluttershy, you silly goose! Gummy isn't sick!"
  345. 345.
    >Fluttershy steps off of you and looks at you
  346. 346.
    >Uh oh, she's pissed
  347. 347.
    >Think quickly
  348. 348.
    "Oh, you mean, Gummy got better all of a sudden?"
  349. 349.
    >You wink at Pinkie
  350. 350.
    >She gasps
  351. 351.
    >"Rrrrrriiiiiiggghhhht! He was sick until just now! Anon didn't know he was better!"
  352. 352.
    >Fluttershy dusts herself off
  353. 353.
    >"Well, I'm going to go home and go back to sleep."
  354. 354.
    "WAIT!"
  355. 355.
    >She turns and looks at you
  356. 356.
    "So long as you're here, come meet my awesome friend, Twilight Sparkle."
  357. 357.
     
  358. 358.
    >It took forever but you finally set Fluttershy up in a decent conversation with Twilight and Spike
  359. 359.
    >Yellowquiet seems really interested in the baby dragon so that's proceeding just like it did in the show
  360. 360.
    >Woo, good sign
  361. 361.
    >Okay, time to take a deep breath and reassess the situation
  362. 362.
    >Rainbow Dash? Re-enacted the Rainblow Dry scene from the show. Check.
  363. 363.
    >Applejack? Bucked me up but at least she got introduced. Check.
  364. 364.
    >Pinkie Pie? Check.
  365. 365.
    >Fluttershy? Check.
  366. 366.
    >Rarity? Didn't get a visual, but check.
  367. 367.
    >All right, you can do this
  368. 368.
    >Suddenly you start to feel sleepy
  369. 369.
    >God damn it not now
  370. 370.
    >You never were much for pulling all-nighters
  371. 371.
    >You stumble up the stairs and look for the door to Pink's room
  372. 372.
    >Must be the pink one
  373. 373.
    >That was easy
  374. 374.
    >You crumple on the bed
  375. 375.
    >Suddenly there's a shriek
  376. 376.
    >Applejack groggily rolls over from under the covers and sits up
  377. 377.
    >"You dryin' sum funnnnny bidzness 'gain, Anon?"
  378. 378.
    "Oh good, you're drunk."
  379. 379.
    >"Fuck yeah I'm drunk! Always party hard before Shummer Shun Celebrashun. Might happy party got moved 'ere from da liberry. Ain't 'llowed to bring boose in there."
  380. 380.
    "Of course you can't."
  381. 381.
    >"Now dun be dryin' to feel me up 'gain, Anon, like some dern perv. I'll buck ya from here to Fillydelphya..."
  382. 382.
    >She drops back onto the pillow and passes out
  383. 383.
    >Facepalm
  384. 384.
     
  385. 385.
    >You actually are about to grab a handful of that firm apple ass when suddenly someone busts into the room
  386. 386.
    >You cram your hands down below the covers
  387. 387.
    >It's Twilight
  388. 388.
    >She looks at you with disapproval
  389. 389.
    >"Is this part of the mission too?"
  390. 390.
    >Fuck you, Twilight
  391. 391.
    "What is it?"
  392. 392.
    >"It's time to go. The ceremony is going to start soon."
  393. 393.
    "Already? But..."
  394. 394.
    >You look at Applejack
  395. 395.
    >You need her to awaken the Elements of Harmony and save Equestria
  396. 396.
    >And she's fucking wasted
  397. 397.
    "Help me carry her."
  398. 398.
    >"What? Just leave her here!"
  399. 399.
    "Let's carry her!"
  400. 400.
    >"Are you crazy, Anon? Wait, I already know the answer to that."
  401. 401.
    >You think it over for a moment
  402. 402.
    >In Episode 2, the ponies all come back to the library before they go chase down Nightmare Moon
  403. 403.
    >You could make a stop back here at Sugarcube Corner and get her
  404. 404.
    >Keep it together Anon
  405. 405.
    >You try to go over the episode in your head again and again, trying to remember if this would create any plotholes or ruin anything
  406. 406.
    >No, it should be fine
  407. 407.
    >You and Twilight exit Pinkie Pie's room and close the door on the snoring AJ
  408. 408.
    >You and Twilight head down the stairs
  409. 409.
    >You pass Spike, sleeping on a couch
  410. 410.
    >All of the partygoers are clearing out and heading to the festival
  411. 411.
    >You follow along with them
  412. 412.
    >But all along you can't help but to still think that everything that could have gone wrong has gone wrong
  413. 413.
    >What is this Murphy's Law version of FiM that you've created
  414. 414.
    >Why did this happen
  415. 415.
    "Twilight, why did you summon me?"
  416. 416.
    >"Huh? To... to help me defeat Nightmare Moon! I told you!"
  417. 417.
    "No, I mean... why didn't you do the Summer Sun Celebration preparations on your own? Why make Spike do it?"
  418. 418.
    >"So I could check out the library and do some research. We've been over this!"
  419. 419.
    "Right, but... never mind."
  420. 420.
    >You look down at the ground as you walk
  421. 421.
    >Why
  422. 422.
    >Why does that make sense
  423. 423.
     
  424. 424.
    >Mayor Mare on the podium
  425. 425.
    >"... And now, it is my great honor to introduce to you the ruler of our land, the very pony who gives us the sun and the moon each and every day, the good, the wise, the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria..."
  426. 426.
    >You yawn, bored 'cause you know what's going to happen next
  427. 427.
    >Also you just pulled an all-nighter for the first time in your life
  428. 428.
    >As if catching a flight to another dimension wasn't exhausting enough
  429. 429.
    >Imagine if there had also been a time change
  430. 430.
    >Dimension lag? Kinda like jet lag
  431. 431.
    >That would've sucked
  432. 432.
    >Oh, you, glance back up at the stage
  433. 433.
    >Must've zoned out for a minute there
  434. 434.
    "She's gone!"
  435. 435.
    >Swirling starry smoke
  436. 436.
    >NMM appears
  437. 437.
    >You pretend to act shocked
  438. 438.
    >She does her spiel
  439. 439.
    >"...Did you not recall the legend? Did you not see the signs?"
  440. 440.
    >Twilight nudges you
  441. 441.
    >You look down at her
  442. 442.
    >She looks terrified and gazes at you with pleading eyes
  443. 443.
    >Uh, what do I say?
  444. 444.
    >Oh yeah
  445. 445.
    "SHE DID!"
  446. 446.
    >You point at Twilight
  447. 447.
    >She freaks
  448. 448.
    "Twilight knows who you are! Tell 'em, Twi!"
  449. 449.
    >She grows a pair and decides to raise her voice
  450. 450.
    >"You're the Mare in the Moon – Nightmare Moon!"
  451. 451.
    >"Well well well, somepony who remembers me. Then you also know why I'm here."
  452. 452.
    >"Well it doesn't matter! Because Anon and I are going to stop you!"
  453. 453.
    >SHUT UP TWILIGHT
  454. 454.
     
  455. 455.
    >You head back to Sugarcube Corner and run up the stairs two at a time
  456. 456.
    >Bust into Pinkie's room
  457. 457.
    >AJ's still there, sound asleep
  458. 458.
    >Whew
  459. 459.
    >You go over to her and try to shake her awake
  460. 460.
    "Applejack. Applejack... get up..."
  461. 461.
    >Still asleep
  462. 462.
    >You clench your fists
  463. 463.
    >OK, we do this the hard way
  464. 464.
    >You try to lift her
  465. 465.
    >These ponies are pretty heavy
  466. 466.
    >You are able to crouch down and get your arm around her, then lead her down the stairs while she's doing some kind of weird sleepwalking thing
  467. 467.
    >You've put plenty of drunk friends to bed before
  468. 468.
    >Never had to get them out of bed
  469. 469.
    >Head downstairs to find a Rainbow Dash harassing Twilight in main area
  470. 470.
    >"And just what are the Elements of Harmony? And how did you know about Nightmare Moon, huh? Are you a spy?"
  471. 471.
    "She's not a spy."
  472. 472.
    >You speak up in place of Applejack
  473. 473.
    >You drop Applejack on the couch next to Spike
  474. 474.
    >Twilight explains
  475. 475.
    >"I read all about the prediction of Nightmare Moon. Some mysterious objects called the Elements of Harmony are the only things that can stop her, but I don't know what they are, where to find them; I don't even know what they do!"
  476. 476.
    >Pinkie perks up
  477. 477.
    >"Did you check under 'E' in the library?"
  478. 478.
    >Twilight gasps
  479. 479.
    >Twilight facepalms
  480. 480.
    >You facepalm
  481. 481.
    >You look around the room
  482. 482.
    >Everyone's here, except
  483. 483.
    >No Rarity
  484. 484.
    >There IS a white pony there though
  485. 485.
    >Vinyl Scratch
  486. 486.
    >"Yo, Twi, what do we do now?" she asks
  487. 487.
    >You suddenly have a heart attack
  488. 488.
    >you remember earlier:
  489. 489.
    "Okay, Twilight, you need to make friends with that white one over there."
  490. 490.
    >You point at Rarity, hanging out with Vinyl Scratch over by the hors d'oeuvres
  491. 491.
    >hanging out with Vinyl Scratch
  492. 492.
    >Vinyl Scratch is white
  493. 493.
     
  494. 494.
    >Damn it Rarity is one of your favorite ponies
  495. 495.
    >She can't not be in the Elements of Harmony
  496. 496.
    >And you don't even know if Vinyl Scratch is generous
  497. 497.
    >All you know about her is fanon stuff that probably isn't even legit in this world
  498. 498.
    >"Anon?"
  499. 499.
    >All of the ponies are looking at you
  500. 500.
    >"Twilight says you know about the Elements of Harmony."
  501. 501.
    >You try to remember what spoilerific information you are allowed to disclose at this point
  502. 502.
    "There are six of them. Five of them are Honesty, Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, and Loyalty. The sixth... is secret. But when you get the first five, a spark will make the sixth one appear. And the first five are in the old castle of the Royal Sisters. In... the Everfree Forest."
  503. 503.
    >The ponies just stare at you
  504. 504.
    >"How do you know all of this?" Rainbow interrogates you
  505. 505.
    >Fuck you Rainbow
  506. 506.
    "Look, just come with us. All of you. Even you."
  507. 507.
    >You point at Vinyl
  508. 508.
    >She just looks at you funny
  509. 509.
    >You look at Applejack
  510. 510.
    >Well, I'M not gonna be the Element of Honesty
  511. 511.
    "She's coming too."
  512. 512.
    >"Are you crazy?" RD yells.
  513. 513.
    "Just find me a cart."
  514. 514.
     
  515. 515.
    >Following behind Twilight, Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash
  516. 516.
    >You're pulling a horse cart through Ponyville
  517. 517.
    >Ironic that you're the only one who isn't a horse
  518. 518.
    >Also, there's a horse in the cart
  519. 519.
    >Whatismylife.jpg
  520. 520.
    >You come to Carousel Boutique
  521. 521.
    >Rarity is hiding inside just like the Mayor instructed everyone
  522. 522.
    >Just need to get her to come out
  523. 523.
    >Start banging on the door
  524. 524.
    "Rarity! Rarity! Get out here!"
  525. 525.
    >"Go away Nightmare Moon!"
  526. 526.
    "It's Anon, from the party!"
  527. 527.
    >"...Anon? No, stay away!"
  528. 528.
    >You look at Vinyl
  529. 529.
    "OK, just like we planned."
  530. 530.
    >She rolls up her wub cannon
  531. 531.
    >Guess some things are like the fanon after all
  532. 532.
    >That's pretty gay
  533. 533.
    >Sick wubs fill fill the streets
  534. 534.
    >You'll blast her out with sound if you have to
  535. 535.
    >Finally Rarity emerges
  536. 536.
    >"Turn that dreadful noise off!"
  537. 537.
    >Vinyl looks hurt
  538. 538.
    >"Noise? You crazy, you little mare?"
  539. 539.
    >Vinyl shuts the music
  540. 540.
    >"Well, Anon, I think this one needs to be taken by force!"
  541. 541.
    >Rarity puts up her hooves
  542. 542.
    >"Bring it on!"
  543. 543.
    >You step between them
  544. 544.
    "No, people, let's be smart and bring it off."
  545. 545.
     
  546. 546.
    "Rarity, look, there isn't much time to explain. We need your help to fight Nightmare Moon."
  547. 547.
    >Rarity looks aghast and is about to blow you off
  548. 548.
    >Then she notices how all of the other ponies are backing you up
  549. 549.
    >Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Vinyl Scratch
  550. 550.
    How they all seem to trust you for some crazy reason
  551. 551.
    >Because in this shitty version of Friendship is Magic part 2, you're all they've got
  552. 552.
    "Rarity, be a little GENEROUS and come help us."
  553. 553.
    >Shit that was a little too obvious
  554. 554.
    >Rarity mulls it over, then decides to help you
  555. 555.
    >"OK, let me go put on some accessories."
  556. 556.
    >You grab her and pull her with you
  557. 557.
    "No time, come on!"
  558. 558.
    >You guys all start walking toward the Everfree Forest
  559. 559.
    >Rarity's watching you pull the horse cart with hungover AJ in it
  560. 560.
    >After a while Rarity starts complaining that her hooves hurt from all the walking
  561. 561.
    >She asks to ride in the cart
  562. 562.
    >She just climbs in the cart and pushes AJ aside to make room for herself
  563. 563.
    >The cart is so heavy now that you can barely keep up with the unladen ponies
  564. 564.
    >Nobody offers to help pull
  565. 565.
     
  566. 566.
    >You try to go over the episode in your head
  567. 567.
    >Which part was first?
  568. 568.
    >Pretty sure it was Applejack and the cliff first
  569. 569.
    >The path is already turning and traveling alongside a big ravine
  570. 570.
    >Shit
  571. 571.
    >You stop the wooden horse cart and try to wake AJ up again
  572. 572.
    >She groggily rises, finally
  573. 573.
    >"Aw, shucks, what'd I miss?"
  574. 574.
    >Rarity turns up her nose and complains that she reeks of cider
  575. 575.
    >You're the one who got in the cart, you know
  576. 576.
    "A lot. But look, get out of the cart."
  577. 577.
    >As you help AJ up over the side wall of the cart, you feel the earth at your feet give way
  578. 578.
    >You lose your footing and start falling
  579. 579.
    >The cart starts to slide down toward the cliff
  580. 580.
    >You grab both handles of the cart and lean back
  581. 581.
    >But you keep sliding down the rocky slope
  582. 582.
    >Finally your foot brakes against a big rock footstop
  583. 583.
    >The cart is hanging over the cliff with Rarity and AJ dangling from it
  584. 584.
    >You look around
  585. 585.
    >Rainbow has Vinyl
  586. 586.
    >Fluttershy has Twilight
  587. 587.
    >Pinkie Pie jumped to a safe place
  588. 588.
    >Your muscles cry out in pain as you struggle to balance the cart and the weight of the two ponies
  589. 589.
    >Your muscles give way and your grip loosens
  590. 590.
    >The handles slide out of your hand
  591. 591.
     
  592. 592.
    >As the cart escapes your grasp, you feel everything else sliding out of your grasp too
  593. 593.
    >All your dreams of coming to Equestria and hanging with the mane 6
  594. 594.
    >You couldn't even keep two of them alive
  595. 595.
    >Suddenly a rainbow across your field of vision
  596. 596.
    >Rainbow Dash blazes through the sky and plummets into a dive down below the cliff
  597. 597.
    >RD you magnificent bastard
  598. 598.
    >She flies back up carrying Rarity and Applejack
  599. 599.
    >You're crying now
  600. 600.
    >You hug all three of them
  601. 601.
    "I'm sorry... I couldn't!"
  602. 602.
    >"It's OK, Anon," Rarity says as Rainbow sets her down
  603. 603.
    >"Nopony coulda held the two of us AND the cart," Applejack adds
  604. 604.
    >"Yeah, don't be so hard on yourself, Anon!" Rainbow slaps you on the back
  605. 605.
    >The ponies all laugh about what a relief it was and start heading down the safe path toward the bottom
  606. 606.
    >You're just standing there, frozen
  607. 607.
    >Applejack missed her chance to prove she's the Element of Honesty
  608. 608.
    >Now you've done it
  609. 609.
     
  610. 610.
    >You're still beating yourself up as you come to the manticore
  611. 611.
    >At least the cart was destroyed so hangover and freeloader have to walk now
  612. 612.
    >But still, how are you going to rectify this?
  613. 613.
    >Anyway the manticore roars
  614. 614.
    >Everyone freaks out and starts attacking it
  615. 615.
    >You just lean against a tree and yawn
  616. 616.
    >Might as well let Fluttershy do her thang
  617. 617.
    >Plus you're fucking tired
  618. 618.
    >As if your circadian clock wasn't already messed up by staying all night
  619. 619.
    >Now it's perma-night
  620. 620.
    >You're zoning out
  621. 621.
    >Suddenly a swift kick from Rarity sends the manticore in your direction
  622. 622.
    >Fuck
  623. 623.
    >He spots you and starts running toward you
  624. 624.
    >Isthisreallife.jpg
  625. 625.
    >Out of nowhere, a yellow blur
  626. 626.
    >"This might hurt just a bit!"
  627. 627.
    >She does a fucking flying side kick into the side of the manticore's head
  628. 628.
    >He stumbles, then whimpers and runs off into the forest
  629. 629.
    >JESUS H. CHRIST
  630. 630.
    >You're paralyzed with fear
  631. 631.
    >"Wow, Fluttershy! You saved Anon!" everyone cheers
  632. 632.
    >"Yeah," she says meekly, smiling at you. "He'll be OK. I didn't kick him that hard. Just enough to get him to go away."
  633. 633.
    >Suddenly you feel a stinging on your chest
  634. 634.
    >You look down
  635. 635.
    >Blood
  636. 636.
    >And three diagonal red lines across your shirt and body
  637. 637.
    >Did the manticore slash you with his claws just as he was getting kicked?
  638. 638.
    >"Oh, no! Anon! You're hurt!"
  639. 639.
    >Fluttershy grabs her medicine basket and tells you to sit down
  640. 640.
    >She starts applying medicine to your cuts
  641. 641.
    >You manage to chuckle
  642. 642.
    "Wow, look how KIND Fluttershy is, everyone."
  643. 643.
     
  644. 644.
    >"...She said Pinkie! You've got to stand up tall! Learn to face your fears! You'll see, that they can't hurt you, just laugh to make them disappear!"
  645. 645.
    >"DROP THE BASS!"
  646. 646.
    >Vinyl pulls some huge ass speakers out of hammerspace and slams her hoof down on a big red button
  647. 647.
    >Suddenly Pinkie breaks out into a dubstep version of the Laughter Song
  648. 648.
    >All of the other ponies are just standing around shocked and confused and terrified by the scary trees combined with the disorienting wubwubs
  649. 649.
    >Vinyl dancing while Pinkie Pie runs around laughing at trees
  650. 650.
    >It's like a fever dream
  651. 651.
    >You start cracking up at the ridiculousness of the situation
  652. 652.
    >This part of the episode always amused you but with the added dubstep and the confused look on everyone's faces you just can't hold it in
  653. 653.
    >You fall on the ground laughing hysterically
  654. 654.
    >Scary trees disappearing right and left
  655. 655.
     
  656. 656.
    >Your chest hurts from laughing so hard
  657. 657.
    >Also there's the fact that you were mauled by a lion monster but yeah whatever
  658. 658.
    >You try to sober up as you fall in line behind the ponies
  659. 659.
    >Kindness, check.
  660. 660.
    >Laughter, check.
  661. 661.
    >Honesty, fucked.
  662. 662.
    >If you had just been prepared for the cliff scene it might've worked out fine like the other two
  663. 663.
    >Don't worry, there's still time to get her to tell the truth
  664. 664.
    >But how?
  665. 665.
    >She still looks hung over as fuck
  666. 666.
    >"BOO HOO!"
  667. 667.
    >Steven Magnet
  668. 668.
    >Rarity doin' her thing
  669. 669.
    >Yup, no way we can mess this scene up
  670. 670.
    >Yup, no way
  671. 671.
    >"...Well, Anon here is clean shaven and I happen to think it's very stylish! Very IN! Maybe it's time for a change, darling!"
  672. 672.
    >YUP, NO WAY
  673. 673.
     
  674. 674.
    >Magnet dries his tears and looks at you
  675. 675.
    >"R-Really? Do you think that I should chop my moustache off, Anon?"
  676. 676.
    >Fuck you, Rarity
  677. 677.
    >"Hell yeah pardner!"
  678. 678.
    >Wat.jpg
  679. 679.
    >Applejack jumps in front of the group
  680. 680.
    >"Ain't nothin' in this world handsomer than a good clean-shaven man! That's the honest truth!"
  681. 681.
    >YES
  682. 682.
    >DEAR GOD YES
  683. 683.
    >"Ain't that right, everypony?"
  684. 684.
    >Everyone nods in agreement
  685. 685.
    >Except Vinyl
  686. 686.
    >She just shrugs and mumbles something about how beards are hot
  687. 687.
    >Rainbow slaps her shit
  688. 688.
    >Magnet seems inspired by this little speech and decides that he wants to cut off his moustache
  689. 689.
    >Rarity plucks one of his scales and hands it to Rainbow
  690. 690.
    >She flies up and does the deed
  691. 691.
    "Wow, how GENEROUS of you... to uh, give him free fashion advice, Rarity! And way to be really HONEST, Applejack! Heh heh heh!"
  692. 692.
    >You look at Twilight
  693. 693.
    >Fuck she's onto you
  694. 694.
    >Magnet makes a bridge across the river and you all cross
  695. 695.
    >You're behind Applebutt
  696. 696.
    >Wait
  697. 697.
    >Back there
  698. 698.
    >Did she mean to say that she thinks you're handsome?
  699. 699.
     
  700. 700.
    >"Oh no! The bridge is out! What do we do now?"
  701. 701.
    >"Duh," says Rainbow Dash
  702. 702.
    >She takes to the sky
  703. 703.
    >"Oh yeah"
  704. 704.
    >She disappears into the mist
  705. 705.
    >You watch the bridge get lifted up
  706. 706.
    >Then, in a matter of moments, she's back
  707. 707.
    >Whoa whoa whoa
  708. 708.
    >That was way too fast
  709. 709.
    "Um... did you tie the bridge up? That was quick."
  710. 710.
    >"Well I AM Rainbow DASH. Fastest flier in all of Equestria."
  711. 711.
    >This is all too suspicious
  712. 712.
    >You hold up your hand
  713. 713.
    "Look, just wait here, everyone. I'm just going to check it out. Make sure it's safe. Dash, spot me."
  714. 714.
    >The others wait patiently while you step onto the rickety bridge
  715. 715.
    >It wobbles under your step
  716. 716.
    >Don't look down don't look down don't look down
  717. 717.
    >Dash hovers over you keeping a close eye on you
  718. 718.
    >Within a few steps you look back and thick mist obscures the others
  719. 719.
    >You can barely see a few feet in front of you but you keep driving ahead
  720. 720.
    >"Anon? Rainbow Dash? Is everything OK?" Twilight calls from the distance
  721. 721.
    "We're fine!"
  722. 722.
    >Just then you reach the other side of the bridge
  723. 723.
    >Three stunningly beautiful women
  724. 724.
    >HUMAN women
  725. 725.
    >Dash makes a face
  726. 726.
     
  727. 727.
    >A blonde, brunette, and redhead
  728. 728.
    >What is this a grade school joke
  729. 729.
    >They're wearing sexy lingerie
  730. 730.
    >"Anon! What are you doing with these ponies?"
  731. 731.
    >One of them comes up to you and caresses your cheek with her hand
  732. 732.
    >"Don't forget, Anon. You're a human."
  733. 733.
    >Another one adjusts her bra strap and looks at you with lust in her eyes
  734. 734.
    >"And we humans can love you in a way that no pony can."
  735. 735.
    >You clench your fists
  736. 736.
    >They are really really hot
  737. 737.
    >"Leave these ponies and come with us. We have to make use of this eternal night..."
  738. 738.
    >They beckon you
  739. 739.
    >You're sweating
  740. 740.
    >Rainbow Dash is looking at you now, wondering what you're gonna do
  741. 741.
    "I... I, uh..."
  742. 742.
    >You stammer
  743. 743.
    >This is fake
  744. 744.
    >You know it's all an illusion created by Nightmare Moon
  745. 745.
    >You've seen the episode
  746. 746.
    >So why do you feel paralyzed with indecision?
  747. 747.
    "Hey, bitch!"
  748. 748.
    >Rainbow Dash swats away one of the women
  749. 749.
    >"Hands off, all right? Let him make his own decisions!"
  750. 750.
    >You feel the warmth flowing back into your limbs
  751. 751.
    >Thanks, Dashie
  752. 752.
    "HEY! TWILIGHT! It's safe over here. Come on over!"
  753. 753.
    >You hear hoofsteps coming across the bridge
  754. 754.
    >"DAMN IT!" The women hiss, receding back into blue wisps of smoke and flying away
  755. 755.
    >You look at Dash
  756. 756.
    >She looks back at you
  757. 757.
    >"What? I'm not going to leave my friend hangin' when he's under some crazy mind trick illusion thing..."
  758. 758.
    >So loyal
  759. 759.
    >Wait, you knew?
  760. 760.
    >Guess it's different when it's not being played on her
  761. 761.
    >The others rejoin you and you continue on your way
  762. 762.
    >You make sure to tell the others about how Rainbow Dash had your back because she was so loyal
  763. 763.
    >You smile privately to yourself
  764. 764.
    >You wavered a bit, but you probably wouldn't have gone with those chicks anyway
  765. 765.
    >Because
  766. 766.
     
  767. 767.
    >no hooves
  768. 768.
     
  769. 769.
    >Even though they were fake, seeing humans again for the first time in a while awakened some deep emotions in you
  770. 770.
    >You grit your teeth and avoid eye contact with everyone in the group and just trudge on
  771. 771.
    >By the time you reach the castle of the two sisters, you have this churning, wretching feeling in your gut
  772. 772.
    >Keep it together Anon
  773. 773.
    >Keep it together
  774. 774.
    >You don't keep it together
  775. 775.
    >The burden of having the fate of Equestria
  776. 776.
    >No, the fate of Twilight and her friends
  777. 777.
    >On your shoulders
  778. 778.
    >Finally takes its toll on you and you drop to your knees
  779. 779.
    >"Anon?!" Pinkie Pie cries. "Are you OK?!"
  780. 780.
    "No... not really..."
  781. 781.
    >"What's wrong?" Twilight asks.
  782. 782.
    >Ain't that the question
  783. 783.
    >It's like
  784. 784.
    >All you've been doing is guiding these ponies along
  785. 785.
    >Trying to stick to the script of the original show
  786. 786.
    >But all you keep doing is messing up and changing the story
  787. 787.
    >Things seem to be working out OK in the short run
  788. 788.
    >But you're a scientist at heart and you believe in the Butterfly effect
  789. 789.
    >And you can't help but feel you've already set in motion the little mistakes that will send Equestria down a radically different path
  790. 790.
    >A path that you can't foresee because it wasn't in the show
  791. 791.
    >And so
  792. 792.
    >What use are you?
  793. 793.
    "I'll tell you what's wrong. I'm... I'm really scared."
  794. 794.
    >The ponies gasp
  795. 795.
    >Here, the wise benevolent creature who knows everything, who's been guiding their hooves
  796. 796.
    >Has been hiding fear and doubt in his heart all along
  797. 797.
    "I'm scared that the path I've set for you isn't the right one. I'm scared that I'm going to mess everything up. I'm scared that I can't make my dream become a reality."
  798. 798.
    >They all just look at you, listening intently
  799. 799.
    >You sit back against a rock and spread your legs out on the ground and try to relax
  800. 800.
    "Listen. I've done all I can do now. I'll wait here. All of you, go on ahead."
  801. 801.
     
  802. 802.
    >"Ughhh enough with the melodrama, homie!"
  803. 803.
    >Vinyl lifts you back up onto your feet with telekinesis
  804. 804.
    >"We're not leaving you behind, Anon. You're our friend," Twilight Sparkle announced.
  805. 805.
    >"Yeh've got a good heart, Anon," Applejack adds.
  806. 806.
    >"Come on, it's way too late to be giving up now!" Rainbow Dash chimes in.
  807. 807.
    >"I believe in you Anon!" Pinkie Pie exclaims.
  808. 808.
    >"You brought us together for a reason, didn't you?" Rarity asks. "I'm so very thankful to have made some new friends."
  809. 809.
    >"And we're going to face our fears together," Fluttershy assures you. "Whether we know what's ahead of us or not."
  810. 810.
    >Guys
  811. 811.
    >YOU GUYS
  812. 812.
    >Your heart Is on fire
  813. 813.
    >You feel something wet on your face
  814. 814.
    >Is it raining?
  815. 815.
    >No, wait
  816. 816.
    >It's Liquid Pride
  817. 817.
     
  818. 818.
    >"The Elements of Harmony! We found them! Careful, careful."
  819. 819.
    >Everyone works together to remove the big round stones from their pedestals
  820. 820.
    >Jesus this thing is like a fucking Atlas ball
  821. 821.
    >You set it down and roll it on the floor up to Twilight
  822. 822.
    >The five stones are gathered around
  823. 823.
    "OK, everyone, let's leave Twilight here to concentrate."
  824. 824.
    >You start ushering all of the other ponies out, leaving Twilight behind.
  825. 825.
    >"Wait! Anon! What do I do? Tell me!"
  826. 826.
    "The spark, Twi. Gotta make that spark! You can do it. I believe in you."
  827. 827.
    >You say with a sly smile over your shoulder
  828. 828.
    >You leave the room and wait outside with everyone else
  829. 829.
    >Rarity looks worried
  830. 830.
    >"Is she gonna be OK in there?"
  831. 831.
    "Oh, she'll be just fine."
  832. 832.
    >You silently mouth a countdown to yourself
  833. 833.
    >Three, two, one
  834. 834.
    >"Ah!" Twilight screams
  835. 835.
    >"Twilight!" Everyone else screams
  836. 836.
    >You all bust into the room as she's disappearing
  837. 837.
    >"Where'd she go?"
  838. 838.
    "There."
  839. 839.
    >You point through a window at a nearby castle tower
  840. 840.
    >"Come on!" Applejack yells
  841. 841.
    >You follow along, bored again
  842. 842.
    >Vinyl Scratch follows after you
  843. 843.
    >"I've got the perfect soundtrack if there's gonna be an epic fight, Anon!"
  844. 844.
    >I wouldn't count on it, Vinyl
  845. 845.
    >You run up the stairs, hollering and calling for Twilight along with everyone else
  846. 846.
    >You all bust into the room and you see that priceless look on her face
  847. 847.
    >The spark
  848. 848.
     
  849. 849.
    >"You think you can destroy the Elements of Harmony just like that? Well you're wrong! Because the spirits of the Elements of Harmony are right... HERE!"
  850. 850.
    >Tell 'er, Twilight
  851. 851.
    >You strike a pose with everyone
  852. 852.
    >Nightmare Moon is shaking in her hooves
  853. 853.
    >"Fluttershy... who stood up to the manticore and cared for Anon, represents the spirit of... KINDNESS!"
  854. 854.
    >Fluttershy flies up and the shards of her element encircle her
  855. 855.
    >"Pinkie Pie, who banished fear by making Anon laugh like a lunatic, represents the spirit of... LAUGHTER!"
  856. 856.
    >Hey
  857. 857.
    >"Rainbow Dash, who wouldn't abandon Anon even when he lost sight of his rationality, represents the spirit of... LOYALTY!"
  858. 858.
    >God damn it Twilight shut up
  859. 859.
    >"Rarity, who paid forward the generosity bestowed upon her by Anon, represents the spirit of... GENEROSITY!"
  860. 860.
    >You shrug
  861. 861.
    >Kind of a stretch but all right whatever works for you in your head Twilight
  862. 862.
    >"And the one who had the courage to admit his own fear... Anon, who represents the spirit of... HONESTY!"
  863. 863.
    >wat.jpg
  864. 864.
     
  865. 865.
    >The shards from the Element of Honesty start circling around you
  866. 866.
    >Shitshitshitshit NO
  867. 867.
    >You try to swat them away but they start to spiral in closer to you
  868. 868.
    >You even cut your hands on one of the sharp chunks of rock
  869. 869.
    >FUCK
  870. 870.
    >"The spirits of my friends got us through every challenge you threw at us!"
  871. 871.
    >"You still don't have the sixth Element! The spark didn't work!"
  872. 872.
    >"But it did! A different kind of spark. I felt it the very moment I realized how happy I was to hear you, to see you, how much I cared about you. The spark ignited inside me when I realized that you all... are my friends!"
  873. 873.
    >The Element of Magic appears above you
  874. 874.
    >"You see, Nightmare Moon, when those Elements are ignited by the... the spark, that resides in the heart of us all, it creates the sixth element: the element of... magic!"
  875. 875.
    >There's a bright flash of light as the Element of Magic starts glowing
  876. 876.
    >Everyone's rock shards are turning into necklaces
  877. 877.
    >You try to dodge it but it clasps onto your neck, nearly choking you
  878. 878.
    >Fuck, I REALLY didn't want to be one of the Elements of Harmony
  879. 879.
    >You search the room for Applejack, but she's just standing next to Vinyl, watching the spectacle in awe
  880. 880.
    >Applejack...
  881. 881.
    >Fuck it, it's too late now
  882. 882.
    >Just gotta roll with it, like I've been doing all along
  883. 883.
    >Ima_firin_malaysia.jpg
  884. 884.
    >You all group up and a huge rainbow energy beam arcs up through the air and comes crashing down on Nightmare Moon
  885. 885.
     
  886. 886.
    >You wake up groggily again
  887. 887.
    >Part of you kind of hopes you're back on Earth
  888. 888.
    >Nope, still in Equestria
  889. 889.
    >"Ugh, my head..." Rainbow moans
  890. 890.
    "Is everypony OK?"
  891. 891.
    >Why yes, Anon, I feel better than ever!" comes a sultry voice
  892. 892.
    >Maniacal laughter
  893. 893.
    >You look up
  894. 894.
    >Nightmare Moon still there
  895. 895.
    >Everyone jumps to there feet and gets ready for battle
  896. 896.
    >You clear your throat
  897. 897.
    "Um, Twilight, sidebar?"
  898. 898.
    >She looks at you with exasperation
  899. 899.
    >You urge her to come over to you
  900. 900.
    >She rolls her eyes and walks over
  901. 901.
    >"WHAT? Can't you see the Elements didn't work?"
  902. 902.
    "Yeah, about that... I'm not actually the spirit of Honesty..."
  903. 903.
    >"What? B-but--"
  904. 904.
    "I've been lying to you all along."
  905. 905.
    >"Really?!"
  906. 906.
    >she looks horrified
  907. 907.
    "Well, I explained the truth at the beginning, but I don't think you quite understood me... and since then I've been dishonest with you. I'm not actually from the future. And I think I know what to do, but I don't. I've been dishonest with all of you!"
  908. 908.
    >You shout at the top of your lungs so everyone in the room can hear you now
  909. 909.
    >"TRAITOR!" Dash cries as she dodges an energy blast from NMM's horn
  910. 910.
    >You ignore her
  911. 911.
    >It doesn't matter any more
  912. 912.
    "The real Element of Honesty is over... THERE!"
  913. 913.
    >You point in Applejack's direction
  914. 914.
    >She's gone
  915. 915.
    >What
  916. 916.
    >"HEY, ANON!"
  917. 917.
    >Pinkie startles you again
  918. 918.
    >"It's not a sidebar if we can all hear you, silly head!"
  919. 919.
    "Oh... right. Sorry."
  920. 920.
    >"So I was wondering if you could wrap up this sidebar, actually," she continues
  921. 921.
    >"We kinda need you two now."
  922. 922.
    >She gestures over to Nightmare Moon
  923. 923.
    >Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity are valiantly fighting Nightmare Moon
  924. 924.
    >Applejack is bucking rocks at her
  925. 925.
    >Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash are flying around her head dodging laser blasts
  926. 926.
    >Rarity is calling her names
  927. 927.
    >You go, girls
  928. 928.
    >Vinyl looks at you pleadingly
  929. 929.
    >You roll your eyes
  930. 930.
    "FINE."
  931. 931.
    >She whips out her wub cannon and hits the button
  932. 932.
     
  933. 933.
    >You break into a run toward the fight, running alongside Twilight
  934. 934.
    >You pry that fucking necklace off your neck and toss it to her
  935. 935.
    "Get that on AJ! I'm counting on you!"
  936. 936.
    >She nods and starts to veer off, but her path is blocked by the sudden appearance of those three human bitches from earlier
  937. 937.
    >Not them again
  938. 938.
    >They start to close in on her
  939. 939.
    >You look around for anything to help
  940. 940.
    >You see a rusty sword mounted on the wall
  941. 941.
    >With some effort you manage to wrestle it free
  942. 942.
    "AAAAAGGGH!"
  943. 943.
    >You grunt as you charge forward with the sword, leaping in front of Twilight to protect her
  944. 944.
    >The brunette pounces on you, razor-sharp claws sprouting from her fingers and her eyes going crazy
  945. 945.
    >Does NMM think humans are cats or something?
  946. 946.
    >You dodge the attack and slice open her chest with the sword
  947. 947.
    >She disappears in a puff of starry smoke
  948. 948.
    >You pose dramatically and beckon the other two to come to you
  949. 949.
    >Pretty sure you've watched enough Chinese cartoons to know how to do this
  950. 950.
    >The redhead and blonde lunge at you but you quickly dispatch them with a flash of your blade
  951. 951.
    >They both disappear in a cloud of smoke
  952. 952.
    >In retrospect, if they were smoke you probably could've just foregone the sword and just charged through them
  953. 953.
    >Eh, whatever, you looked cool doing it
  954. 954.
     
  955. 955.
    >You and Twilight start running again
  956. 956.
    >You do a double hop when a stray laser blast nearly vaporizes your foot
  957. 957.
    >You catch up to the fight, and try to distract Nightmare Moon with an insult
  958. 958.
    >You can't really think of anything clever, though, so you just call her a bitch
  959. 959.
    >Guess all that time practicing disses in the mirror was wasted
  960. 960.
    >She looks over at you, allowing Twilight to toss the necklace at AJ
  961. 961.
    >"Applejack! Catch!"
  962. 962.
    >She doesn't have to
  963. 963.
    >When it gets near her, the crystal transforms into the shape of an apple
  964. 964.
    >Shame you couldn't tell what it was before
  965. 965.
    >The necklace magically clasps around her neck
  966. 966.
    "All right, ponies! Take two!"
  967. 967.
    >The mane six all run to your side and form a circle around you
  968. 968.
    >Twilight activates the Element of Magic, and all of the ponies start to glow
  969. 969.
    >You glance over your shoulder and wink at Rainbow
  970. 970.
    >Still think I'm a traitor?
  971. 971.
    >She huffs, but then rolls her eyes and flashes you a trusting smile
  972. 972.
    >You stare down Nightmare Moon as she starts to buck in fear
  973. 973.
    >At the last second, Vinyl comes running up and joins you in the center of the circle
  974. 974.
    >Both of you pump an arm high into the air as a sign of triumph
  975. 975.
    >The two of you are engulfed in a blinding white light and a dazzling swirl of intense color...
  976. 976.
     
  977. 977.
    >You're standing on the outskirts of Ponyville at the top of a windy hill
  978. 978.
    >You're looking down at the town square, where there's a big party and processional for Twilight Sparkle and her friends
  979. 979.
    >They all wanted you to be there for the big celebration
  980. 980.
    >You did just help save the world after all
  981. 981.
    >But you weren't feeling it, and left near the beginning
  982. 982.
    >Sigh
  983. 983.
    >Though the circumstances were different, the results were the same
  984. 984.
    >The Elements of Harmony were discovered by Twilight and her friends and Equestria was saved from eternal night
  985. 985.
    >It's what you had wanted all along
  986. 986.
    >It's what drove you to do all the crazy things on your adventure
  987. 987.
    >So why aren't you down there partying with your friends?
  988. 988.
    >Why do you feel emptiness inside?
  989. 989.
    >Oh.
  990. 990.
    >Right.
  991. 991.
    >It's because you didn't really do anything.
  992. 992.
    >Had Twilight not summoned you, she would've just proceeded with the Summer Sun Celebration plans
  993. 993.
    >She would have made new friends and discovered the Elements of Harmony on her own
  994. 994.
    >Without you
  995. 995.
    >Everything you did was unnecessary
  996. 996.
    >It only served to make things harder for everyone
  997. 997.
    >It was probably best to put a lot of distance between yourself and Ponyville now
  998. 998.
    >All of your memories of the show were worthless now
  999. 999.
    >Wouldn't want any of that useless knowledge to hurt the Mane 6 any more than it's already had
  1000. 1000.
    >Maybe you could make a new life for yourself in Seaddle
  1001. 1001.
    >Never got to make it up to Seattle in the human world, so this is the next best thing
  1002. 1002.
    >You set off down the dusty road
  1003. 1003.
    >Hoofsteps behind you
  1004. 1004.
    >"Anon! Wait!"
  1005. 1005.
    >"Anon, where ya goin', pardner?"
  1006. 1006.
    >"Anon, darling, where in heaven's name are you going?"
  1007. 1007.
    >"Yo, Anon, you're missing an AWESOME party."
  1008. 1008.
    >"Um... Anon... don't go... I mean, unless you really want to..."
  1009. 1009.
    >"Anon... please, hear us out."
  1010. 1010.
     
  1011. 1011.
    >"So you're saying this... 'human' helped you?"
  1012. 1012.
    >Princess Celestia eyes you up and down carefully
  1013. 1013.
    >You bow deeply and try not to offend her
  1014. 1014.
    >"Princess Celestia... he helped all of us," Twilight explains
  1015. 1015.
    >Twilight turns and approaches you
  1016. 1016.
    >"Princess Celestia... you've asked me to stay in Ponyville and report on my findings on the magic of friendship. Well, can I give you my very first report, right now?"
  1017. 1017.
    >Celestia nods
  1018. 1018.
    >Twilight lifts up your chin and looks into your eyes
  1019. 1019.
    >"Anon's taught me so much in the past couple of days..."
  1020. 1020.
    >Your face feels hot and you look away, but she keeps looking straight at you
  1021. 1021.
    >"Princess Celestia. There may only be magical artifacts for the six main Elements of Harmony: Honesty, Laughter, Kindness, Generosity, Loyalty, and Magic. But there are many many more elements of friendship! Heck, there might even be dozens more! Or HUNDREDS! Bravery... Humility... Sacrifice... Determination... Guidance... Encouragement... And Forgiveness."
  1022. 1022.
    >She embraces you in a big hug
  1023. 1023.
    >"You demonstrated these things because you had an ideal in your mind that you were willing to fight for. You put your faith in us to make it real. And you gave us a reason to believe in you. It doesn't matter if it's not perfect, or if we don't know where our future leads. You showed us lots of Elements, Anon! All because you trusted us, some ponies you didn't even know."
  1024. 1024.
    >You're trembling now
  1025. 1025.
    >Damn it Anon, hold it together
  1026. 1026.
    >"That's why we made this for you, Anon."
  1027. 1027.
    >Rarity steps forward with a silver chain necklace
  1028. 1028.
    >And in the center, there is a green jewel carved in the shape of two chain links linked together
  1029. 1029.
    >You can tell she threw it together at the last second
  1030. 1030.
    >You adore it
  1031. 1031.
    >"Anon... we want you to be the honorary Element of Trust."
  1032. 1032.
     
  1033. 1033.
    >All of the mane six gather around you in a big group hug
  1034. 1034.
    "I... I don't know what to say...!"
  1035. 1035.
    >"You can say that you'll stay here in Ponyville with us!" Pinkie Pie chirps
  1036. 1036.
    "I think I'd actually like to visit my world once in a while, now that I think about it."
  1037. 1037.
    >"I think that can be arranged," Celestia assures you.
  1038. 1038.
    "Great... OK then. I'll stay!"
  1039. 1039.
    >"Woo hoo! Anon's staying!" Rainbow and Applejack holler in unison
  1040. 1040.
    >Pinkie Pie starts making all manner of crazy noises
  1041. 1041.
    >Fluttershy hugs your arm tightly
  1042. 1042.
    >Rarity places the necklace around your neck
  1043. 1043.
    >Damn it, guys
  1044. 1044.
    >Twilight rests her hoof on your chest
  1045. 1045.
    >"You've taught us a lot about friendship, Anon. I can't wait to learn more, together with you!"
  1046. 1046.
    >Tears well up in your eyes
  1047. 1047.
    >Twilight, you idiot
  1048. 1048.
    >Everything I know about friendship
  1049. 1049.
    >I learned from you guys
  1050. 1050.
    >Long before we ever met
  1051. 1051.
     
  1052. 1052.
    THE END

MLP:RtM 1-2 Friendship is Magic

by Alaric

MLP:RtM 3 The Ticket Master

by Alaric

MLP:RtM 4 Applebuck Season

by Alaric

MLPRtM: 7 Dragonshy

by Alaric