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MLPRtM: 7 Dragonshy

By Alaric
Created: 2021-12-12 02:57:20
Updated: 2023-10-10 00:00:08
Expiry: Never
anontwilight sparklefluttershysafe/aie/adventure

  1. Source: https://pastebin.com/cN8tvNdr
  2. Author: TMPony
  3. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  4. >You’re chilling out on a bench by the water fountain in the park
  5. >Rainbow Dash is bouncing a ball on her head
  6. >”Hey, Anon! Check it out! I’m gonna be the next Equestria ball-bouncing record holder!”
  7. >Pinkie Pie calls for a celebration and zooms off
  8. >You shake your head
  9. “Don’t get cocky, Dash.”
  10. >You silently mouth a countdown, with a smug look on your face
  11. >Just as you hit zero, Pinkie Pie comes running back and slams into Rainbow Dash, breaking her streak
  12. >”Ugh! Pinkie Pie!”
  13. >Rainbow then glares at you
  14. >Haha, classic
  15. >You remember this scene
  16. >It’s from the very beginning of Season 1, Episode 7
  17. >Dragonshy
  18. >You turn your gaze to the sky and watch the ominous black smoke cloud as it drifts over the land
  19. >Nobody else notices it until Twilight appears and announces it
  20. >Commotion breaks out
  21. >You calmly rise to your feet and stretch, walking through the mob of fearful villagers
  22. >Here we go again
  23.  
  24. >Twilight Sparkle explains that the smoke is coming from a dragon snoring on a nearby mountaintop
  25. >And that Princess Celestia has tasked her with the mission of evicting the dragon
  26. >You actually look forward to a nice hike up a mountain
  27. >You could use the exercise
  28. >Since things have been pretty slow around here lately
  29. >Whoa who whoa, hold your horses Anon
  30. >lol, horses
  31. >You just remembered
  32. >This episode is an important friendship lesson for Fluttershy
  33. >She finds that her friends are a source of strength to help her overcome her greatest fears
  34. >It’s probably best for you not to interfere
  35. >After all, you’ve nearly fucked up every episode you’ve been in so far
  36. >You could sit this one out, right?
  37. >You've earned a break
  38. >”Anon!”
  39. >Twilight calls you over
  40. >”Mission debriefing at the library in ten minutes. Round up all of the Elements of Harmony!”
  41. “I’m actually really busy.”
  42. >”Yes, I can see that goofing off in the park is more important than stopping a dragon from suffocating the entire land in smoke.”
  43. “I can’t come.”
  44. >Twilight rolls her eyes at you
  45. >Rainbow Dash flies up
  46. >”Why? Are you SCARED?!”
  47. >Fuck you, Dash
  48. >I know all about the dragon, but I’m just trying to be a RESPONSIBLE future-seeing world-breaking asshole
  49. >Cut me some slack
  50. >Speaking of scared, where’s Fluttershy
  51. >You scan the crowd
  52. >She seems to have snuck away when she saw that Twilight was preoccupied with you
  53. >God damn it
  54.  
  55. >Golden Oaks Library
  56. >It took you twenty minutes to find yellowquiet
  57. >And you practically had to drag her by the tail here
  58. >All the while keeping your lips zipped for fear of spoiling the episode
  59. >It basically looked like you were kidnapping her for >rape
  60. >She was babbling about dragons the whole time
  61. >You drag her inside and find everyone there discussing their plan of action
  62. >”All right, everypony. I need you to gather supplies quickly. We’ve got a long journey ahead of us. Let’s meet back here in less than an hour. That means you too, Anon!”
  63. >The others head for the door, but you hang behind
  64. “We still have one more Element of Harmony. Vinyl Scratch. I’ll go get her, and then we’ll catch up.”
  65. >”Nice try, Anon!” Pinkie Pie laughs
  66. >”Vinyl’s in Manehattan doing a gig!”
  67. >”Looks like Anon’s tryin’ ta get out of it,” Applejack snickers
  68. >You scoff and cross your arms
  69. “Well, you’re right about that.”
  70. >”Why don’t you want to come, Anon?!” Twilight begs
  71. >You struggle to try to come up with an explanation
  72. >You decide to go off of Dash’s original suggestion
  73. “I’m scared of dragons.”
  74. >”WHAT?” Everyone shouts in unison
  75. “Yup. Terrified.”
  76. >”Anon,” Rarity says
  77. >”We’re your friends! We’ll always be here to help you face your fears!”
  78. “Oh, what a relief!”
  79. >You glance over at Fluttershy with a look as if to say, “You hear that?”
  80. >WINK WINK HINT HINT
  81. >Fluttershy just looks even more scared now
  82. >Her fears reinforced now that someone else has admitted to being afraid
  83. >Gaaaahhhhh confound these ponies
  84.  
  85. >”Wait, ah get it now!” Applejack exclaims
  86. >”This is one o’ yer spooky future visions, am I right?”
  87. >”Y’all know what’s gonna happen and y’all don’t want to interfere!”
  88. >You feel an ice cold arrow shoot straight through your chest
  89. >Nailed it, AJ
  90. >How can you read me so damn well?!
  91. >Twilight approaches you
  92. >”Anon, your ability to predict the future is an invaluable asset! You could play a part in saving Equestria!”
  93. “You saved Equestria just fine without me in the show. You can do it again.”
  94. >”But can’t you tell us even a little bit?”
  95. “No. Princess Celestia wants you to study the magic of friendship. If I just TELL you what’s going to happen, you won’t learn it for yourself.”
  96. >Rainbow Dash groans
  97. >”Ugh, Anon! We’ve been over this already! You can tell us about the show! You can TRUST us!”
  98. “I TRUST you to do this without me. Sorry, I’m leaving. Have fun.”
  99. >You head to the door
  100. >As soon as you step outside, you feel the sinking feeling in your chest again
  101. >What if in this alternate continuity
  102. >One of them gets crushed in the avalanche?
  103. >Or eaten by the dragon?
  104. >Anything goes in this continuity
  105. >No, no, this is still a children’s show
  106. >That wouldn’t happen
  107. >Hahaha
  108. >Ha
  109. >...
  110. >...Fuck
  111. >FUCK
  112. >You turn right around and march back into the library
  113. >”We knew you’d be back,” Applejack says
  114. >You sigh and shake your head
  115. >The ponies start heading out the door to gather supplies for the journey
  116. >You and Fluttershy just stand there, exchanging worried looks
  117.  
  118. >YEAH GETTING READY MONTAGE
  119. >All of the ponies hurry back with saddlebags filled with trail gear and rations
  120. >You rummage around in your small pile of personal belongings on the floor of the library next to your makeshift bed
  121. >All you really have that could be useful is a pocket knife
  122. >You shove it in your jeans pocket
  123. >Twilight also brings you a saddlebag with a water bottle and some other stuff
  124. >You don’t really care, these girls overprepare for shit
  125. >You fiddle with the strap to make a makeshift side satchel and slip it on
  126. >You head outside where everyone is gathering
  127. >All of the ponies pose dramatically in a lineup
  128. >You lazily shamble over and lean on Rainbow Dash
  129. >Purple Exposition is talking about the mountain again
  130. >Blah blah blah holy hell this is actually boring
  131. >Since you already have an idea of what’s going to happen
  132. >Still, if you play your cards right, you can prevent utter disaster
  133. >”Looks pretty cold up there,” Applejack observes
  134. >”You bet it is. The higher you go, the chillier it gets,” Rainbow says
  135. >”Good thing I brought my scarf!” Rarity brags
  136. >She whips it out and puts it on
  137. >Suddenly, you notice that all of these ponies are covered in fur
  138. >You’re just a hairless string bean in a ratty T-shirt
  139. >”Don’t worry, Anon, I brought you a scarf too!”
  140. >She throws it on you
  141. >It’s pink and matches her
  142. >”Stop showering Anon with gifts, Rarity...” Applejack complains
  143. >”Oh my...” Rarity giggles
  144.  
  145. >”Um, excuse me, Twilight...” Fluttershy speaks up
  146. >Twilight is preoccupied with the map
  147. >Fluttershy struggles to explain that she doesn’t want to go on the mission
  148. >Finally Twilight tunes in
  149. >”Wait! You have to come! Your way with wild animals will surely come in handy!”
  150. >”I don’t think I...”
  151. >Twilight interrupts to explain that Spike will watch over the animals in the meadow
  152. >”You can count on me!”
  153. >He scampers off after some escaped critters
  154. >Fluttershy whimpers
  155. >Hmm maybe a little bit of early intervention can help in this case
  156. >You head over to Fluttershy and pat her on the head
  157. “Hey, what’s going on? C’mon, you can tell me.”
  158. >You know exactly what’s going on but you’re just trying to show her that she can trust you
  159. >She blushes and averts her eyes
  160. “Hey, ‘Shy, listen. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I’ll protect you.”
  161. >Before she can respond, Twilight gives the order to move out
  162. >The others form a stamped that sweep you and Fluttershy away in a galloping whirlwind
  163. >Applejack scoops you up onto her back
  164. >You’re way too big for the little pony but she’s strong as a horse
  165. >You look over at Fluttershy getting dragged along
  166. >She’s just staring at you, searching for something to say
  167. >But eventually she just stares at the ground
  168. >Ooooookaaayyyy
  169.  
  170. >The whole land seems to shake with a violent earthquake and the rumbling sound of the dragon’s snore rings in your ears
  171. >You actually are a little startled
  172. >Fluttershy shrieks and hides behind you, clutching your shirt
  173. >Umm...
  174. >Pinkie Pie notices how close Fluttershy is hanging on to you
  175. >She seems completely fine with it
  176. >She’s a little too optimistic to become jealous that easily
  177. >”It’s... so... tall...”
  178. >Rainbow opens her mouth but you blurt out
  179. “Well it IS a tall thing!”
  180. >Everyone looks at you funny
  181. >Nobody gets the joke
  182. >Why would they
  183. >God damn you’re a faggot
  184. >Dash almost zooms off but Applejack pulls her back down to the ground and suggests you all travel together
  185. >Everyone starts heading up the cliff
  186. >What the fuck are these ponies like mountain goats or something
  187. >How do they just walk up a sheer cliff
  188. >Reminds you of a Skyrim glitch video
  189. >Baffled, you try to get a handhold but it just crumbles at your touch
  190. >You try a few different spots but can’t seem to get a good grip
  191. >You never were good at rock climbing
  192. >Frustrated, you just throw yourself at the mountain to try to slither up the slope
  193. >But you keep sliding down
  194. >What is this wizardry
  195. >”Oh no! Anon can’t get up this way!” Pinkie Pie cries
  196. >”Neither can Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash groans
  197. >You look over your shoulder
  198. >Fluttershy is cowering in a bush
  199. >”Anon! There’s another path around the mountain!” Applejack says
  200. >Twilight rolls up the map and tosses it down to you
  201. >”Take Fluttershy that way!”
  202. >The dragon emits another deafening roar, I mean snore
  203. >Fluttershy freaks and freezes up like a statue
  204. >You glance up at the others and make a pained face
  205. >Why.jpg
  206.  
  207. >You grab ahold of Fluttershy’s tail and pull
  208. >She’s making herself heavy, like a baby who stays glued to the ground when it doesn’t want to be picked up
  209. >After dragging Fluttershy a few yards, you sigh and give up
  210. >You hunch down on a rock and bury your face in your hands
  211. “Fluttershy, for the love of...”
  212. >Ain’t nobody got time for this shit
  213. >You hear more whimpers
  214. >And gasping
  215. >Oh, fuck
  216. >You look up
  217. >She’s crying
  218. >”Anon! I’m s-s-s-s-sorr-rr-rryyyy I l-l-let you dooownn!!”
  219. >She’s just completely melting down in front of you
  220. >Your hearts aches
  221. “No, hey, come on. HEY! Fluttershy, stop crying.”
  222. >You go over to her and pet her on the back
  223. >It’s heaving up and down
  224. “Come on, hey, I’m not mad. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it...”
  225. >She just keeps crying her eyes out
  226.  
  227. >Finally you just decide to hold her in a tight embrace
  228. >She’s lying on the ground though so you can’t really wrap your arms around her
  229. >You just kind of flop on top of her and hold her
  230. “Shh... shh...”
  231. >She eventually relaxes enough to sit up straight
  232. >Allowing you to pull her into your arms
  233. >She buries her muzzle in your chest
  234. “You’re safe. I could never be mad at you. And I’ll protect you from the scary dragon.”
  235. >She pulls away and gasps
  236. >”How... how did you know I’m afraid of the dragon?”
  237. “I’m Anon, remember? That’s my special ability.”
  238. >”But... I thought you only knew the important things. And I don’t think me being afraid is very important.”
  239. >Uhhh, shit
  240. >Well, I guess I can say
  241. “It’s absolutely important, ‘Shy. You’ll know why in due time.”
  242. >Her sobbing is subdued now
  243. >Her chest is still rising up and down against yours
  244. >”Anon, you said you’re also afraid of the dragon, right?”
  245. >Actually, Applejack already debunked that claim, but Fluttershy must have missed it while she was flipping out
  246. “Yeah, I guess I am.”
  247. >”So... how? How can you do this? How can you be so brave?”
  248. >She hugs you again, pressing her ear to your chest
  249. >”I want to be brave like you.”
  250.  
  251. >There must be something else you can do to boost her confidence
  252. >To validate her emotions and show her that it’s OK to be scared
  253. >And that those are the times when you must look inside yourself to find bravery
  254. >You watched enough children’s movies as a kid know that one
  255. >But maybe Fluttershy was a little too sheltered for their equivalents here in Equestria
  256. >Suddenly, you have an idea
  257. You unwrap the pink scarf from your neck and drape it over her
  258. >You reach around and wrap it around her neck a couple times
  259. ”There! This is my magic scarf. It helps give you courage. It helped me.”
  260. >”A-Anon!”
  261. >She looks down at the scarf in confusion
  262. “Don’t tell anybody, or the magic won’t work.”
  263. >She frowns at you
  264. >”Anon... I just watched Rarity hand you this scarf a few minutes ago.”
  265. >You smile and laugh
  266. >She looks annoyed at first
  267. >That you’d try to pull this kiddy shit on her
  268. >But finally she giggles and shoves you away
  269. >”...Thank you, Anon.”
  270.  
  271. >After nearly an hour of marching up the alternate route, you rendezvous with the others
  272. >”Told you it was gonna take forever,” Dash whispers to Twilight
  273. >But when Dash sees Fluttershy standing up and walking on her own four hooves, she does a double take
  274. >Fluttershy joins Rarity, Pinkie, and Applejack as they continue up the mountain
  275. >Fluttershy seems to be a lot more confident now
  276. >She flashes you a big, beautiful smile as she passes by you
  277. >But when they’re out of earshot, Dash flies back to where you’re standing
  278. >”What in all of pony’s name did you DO, Anon?”
  279. >You shrug
  280. “It was nothing, really.”
  281. >”Did you...” she starts looking really agitated
  282. >Dash starts flying in circles around your head
  283. >”You didn’t do anything that would make Pinkie Pie jealous, did you?!”
  284. >”Dash!” Twilight scolds her
  285. >"Just because he's not a pony, doesn't mean..."
  286. >"DASH! Stop right there!!" Twilight hisses
  287. >You cram your hands in your pockets
  288. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, Dashie.”
  289. >You stomp away
  290. >Behind you, you hear Twilight and Rainbow arguing
  291. >Eventually Rainbow Dash zooms past you without a word
  292. >Twilight comes running up to you
  293. >”Anon! Dash just doesn’t...”
  294. “Trust me? Why would she?”
  295. >You growl
  296. >Twilight hangs her head
  297. >Ahead of you on the trail, you can hear Fluttershy talking to the others
  298. >You can’t hear what she’s saying, but the others are laughing out loudly
  299. >You and Twilight march side by side in utter silence
  300.  
  301. >You all come to the small chasm over the deep ravine
  302. >You join in with Pinkie Pie to sing “Hop, Skip, and Jump” for Fluttershy
  303. >It ends up being a lot of fun
  304. >Pinkie Pie wonders how you already knew all of the words and accuses you of telepathy
  305. >Fluttershy really loves the performance and decides to jump
  306. >She timidly approaches the gap
  307. >But hops over it without freezing up
  308. >You jump over the gap after her
  309. >”Way to go, Fluttershy! Nice jump.”
  310. >Fluttershy brushes her hair aside and beams at you
  311. >Rainbow Dash groans and flies away
  312. >The group continues on its way
  313. >Everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpg
  314. >Maybe things may actually go a little bit smoother now that you’ve instilled some confidence in her
  315. >Rarity looks at you and covertly points at the scarf on Fluttershy’s neck
  316. >You just wink at Rarity as if you know what you're doing
  317. >She smiles and shrugs and continues on
  318. >That reminds you, it’s starting to get chilly
  319. >You pull your T-shirt up to your chin
  320. >Part of you is happy that Fluttershy seems to have found her bravery
  321. >But you can start to see where this turn of events might be going
  322. >And it’s not looking good
  323. >WhathaveIdone
  324.  
  325. >”You’ve got ‘guilty’ written all over your face, Anon,” Rainbow Dash says out of the blue
  326. ”Look, I don’t need your shit, Dash. Trust me, or don’t.”
  327. >”No, you look. I’ve been trying to get Fluttershy out of her little shell for years and suddenly you come out of nowhere and—“
  328. >”Keep it down,” Twilight says
  329. >”According to my map, we’re entering an avalanche zone. The smallest peep could cause a huge rock slide.”
  330. >You turn away from Rainbow Dash and just try to carefully head up the slope
  331. >You keep a close eye on Fluttershy as you go to make sure she doesn’t cause an avalanche
  332. >”Suspicious...” Dash whispers as she floats past you
  333. >Oh my god shut the fuck up
  334. >You try to concentrate
  335. >In the TV show, a leaf falls on Fluttershy’s croup, startling her and causing her to scream
  336. >You walk behind Fluttershy, keeping a close eye on her plot, ready to catch any falling leaves
  337. >Rainbow Dash looks over her shoulder and sees you eyeballing dat ass
  338. >”Perveerrt...” She mouths
  339. >CUNT DASH
  340. >You keep walking and keeping a close watch on that yellow ass
  341. >Fluttershy turns for a moment and notices you
  342. >She turns pink and faces front, and keeps walking
  343. >Rainbow Dash circles back to you
  344. >”Stop flirting!”
  345. “I’m not! What's gotten into you? I thought we were friends!”
  346. >”Oh, we are. But you and Fluttershy are friends, with benefits, aren’t you?”
  347. >You rage
  348. “I DON’T FUCK HORSES!!”
  349. >You scream at the top of your lungs
  350. >Everyone stops dead in their tracks
  351. >There is a distant rumbling
  352.  
  353. >The whole world shakes as the mountain crumbles down around you
  354. >Boulders falling left and right
  355. >You just stand there frozen for a moment
  356. >Welp, it was a good run
  357. >Goodbye Equestria
  358. >Suddenly you snap out of your daze
  359. >When you notice a shadow getting larger all around you
  360. >You pump your legs and just start booking it
  361. >You manage to get out from under a huge ass chunk of mountain that would have killed you
  362. >It slams the ground and the impact nearly knocks you to your feet
  363. >Everyone is screaming avalanche and dodging falling rocks
  364. >Adrenaline is surging through you
  365. >You start running through the maelstrom of falling boulders
  366. >Each one could squish you flat and it’d be over
  367. >You’re trying to remember the scene from the episode shot for shot
  368. >To help you dodge each rock
  369. >But even though you remember it vividly, it feels a lot different in real life
  370. >You can’t really predict well at all
  371. >You hop all over the slope, sidestepping rocks as they rain down around you
  372. >However a small one catches the leg of your jeans and trips you up
  373. >You fall to the ground
  374. >You’re in the shadow of another huge rock
  375.  
  376. >You hear wings flapping and a loud whooshing sound
  377. >Rainbow, saving my ass again probably
  378. >”Anooooooon!”
  379. >You snap right
  380. >A yellow and pink blur racing toward you
  381. >Holy fuck she is fast
  382. >She slams into you with a huge headbutt
  383. >She sends you flying
  384. >FLUTTERSHY YOU SWEET ANGEL
  385. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFR03q2ppVc#t=6s
  386. >You spin through the air
  387. >You catch a glimpse of her, standing motionless right in the shadow of the boulder
  388. >She’s smiling
  389. >At you
  390. >You can't bear to see her
  391. >You close your eyes
  392. >You hear the boulder hit the ground
  393. >You slam into the trunk of a tree pretty much completely horizontally
  394. >It all happened so fast.
  395.  
  396. >Fluttershy...
  397. >You’re lying on the ground as the smoke swirls around you
  398. >The avalanche seems to be over
  399. >Fluttershy...
  400. >Your mouth is full of a fuckton of dirt
  401. >You spit it out
  402. >Fluttershy!
  403. >You try to suddenly move but your whole body aches
  404. >Is your spine broken?
  405. >No, you can feel your legs
  406. >They hurt like hell
  407. >Why the fuck would you do this Fluttershy
  408. >WHY
  409. >Your chest is heaving up and down
  410. >You pound your fists into the dirt
  411. “AAAAUUHHHHH!!!”
  412. >Tears are streaming down your face
  413. >You channel all of your strength into your arms to push yourself up to your knees
  414. >You start crawling through the rocky landscape
  415. >Each rock pierces your palms and your knees with intense pain
  416. >But there’s only one thing you care about
  417. >F-Fluttershy
  418. >Please be all right
  419.  
  420. >Rainbow Dash’s voice cuts sharply through the smoke
  421. >”Hey guys, I found him!”
  422. >She starts clearing the smoke with her wings
  423. >You inhale some dust and start coughing like crazy and rubbing your eyes
  424. >When you open them again, you see the others standing all together in a group
  425. >All of them, except Fluttershy
  426. >Wait
  427. >Never mind
  428. >She’s standing off to the side
  429. >So you didn’t notice her at first
  430. >She’s completely unscathed
  431. >You struggle to get to your feet and you limp over to her
  432. >Keep it together, Anon
  433. >Just be cool
  434. >You reach her and throw your arms around her
  435. “WAAAAHHHH F-F-FLUTTTERSHY AHHHH F-FUCK-K-K I THOUGHT THA FUCK-K-K AAAAGHHHHH YOU’RE O-O-O-KAHAYHAYHAYHAY EHHHAHHHHAHHHAHHH!!”
  436. >You just fucking melt down all over her
  437. >Yep
  438. >Cool.
  439.  
  440. >You’re all hiking up the huge gravelly slope left by the rockslide
  441. >Rainbow is flying beside you, helping to carry you because you are having difficulty walking on your own
  442. “Th-Thanks for grabbing Flutters before she got...”
  443. >”Don’t mention it. And, sorry I, uh...”
  444. “Don’t mention it.”
  445. >You walk in silence for a while
  446. >”...Anon, I think I see your game!”
  447. >You sigh and brace yourself for some more stupid rainbow shit
  448. >”You’re trying to slowly build up Fluttershy’s confidence, aren’t you?”
  449. “Excuse me?”
  450. >”Yeah, at first she’s all terrified, then you disappear for a little while and do pony knows what, then the ‘Hop, Skip, and Jump’ thing, now her saving you from that rock...”
  451. “Are you saying that I did that shit on PURPOSE? That I’d risk my own LIFE?”
  452. >”Everyone knows you’re completely insane! That’s why I like you!”
  453. “What?”
  454. >”N-nothing.”
  455. >You both look at Fluttershy, marching up near the front of the group
  456. >She has her chest puffed out proudly as she conquers the rock pile
  457. >She looks like a million bits
  458. >”Anon, isn’t it like, fake courage?”
  459. “What do you mean?”
  460. >”Just because she’s really confident right now, do you think it means she’ll be able to tackle the dragon?”
  461. ”I don’t see why not.”
  462. >On the other hand
  463. >You can see why not
  464. >You look up at the dragon’s smoke, still drifting across the sky
  465. >Maybe you’ve injected Fluttershy with a little too much courage
  466. >And she’s gonna bite off more than she can chew when she’s face to face with her worst fear
  467. >You hobble along a little bit longer and try to formulate a plan, but nothing comes to mind
  468. >Welp, guess you’re just going to have to save the show with a little improvising
  469. >...Again
  470.  
  471. >”We’re here,” Twilight announces
  472. >The seven of you are standing at the mouth of an enormous cave
  473. >Thick black smoke looms over you as it floats from within
  474. >Fluttershy has her chin perked up and is smiling
  475. >Fffuck
  476. >You’re getting a little nervous
  477. >Twilight goes over the plan
  478. >”Rainbow Dash, youll use your wings to clear the smoke. Rarity and Pinkie Pie, you'll create a diversion to distract the dragon if things get a little hairy in there. Applejack, you're ready with the apples in case he decides to attack. But it shouldn't come to that, because Fluttershy will do what she needs to do to wake him up, and between her and Anon, we should be able to get him to understand why he needs to go.”
  479. >A flash of fear and worry comes across Fluttershy’s face
  480. >But before you could call her out on it, she’s back to her overconfident perkiness
  481. >You knew it
  482. >Deep down she’s still scared shitless
  483. >But she’s putting on a facade and calling it courage
  484. >If she goes in there she’s just going to get hurt
  485. >And you promised to protect her
  486. >She put her life on the line for you
  487. >Why wouldn’t you do the same?
  488. “Don’t worry about any of your plan, Twilight.”
  489. >”Huh, why?”
  490. “Because I’m going to handle this on my own.”
  491. >Before any of them can stop you, you take off running into the cave
  492. >Alone
  493. >LEEEEROOOOOYYYYY
  494. >JEEEENNNKIIIINNNNSSSS
  495.  
  496. >You suddenly slow to a limp when pain shoots through your leg again
  497. >God damn it
  498. >Feels like just yesterday you fell off that ladder at Sweet Apple Acres
  499. >The air smells like burning coal
  500. >It takes a few moments for your eyes to adjust to the darkness
  501. >You can hardly tell where you’re going until you practically bump into him
  502. >HOLY SHIT
  503. >What
  504. >WHAT
  505. >He’s even more awesome and terrifying than you ever imagined
  506. >And you’ve SEEN him in the show before
  507. >You just feel tiny before his immense form
  508. >Coiled up amidst the rolling hills of sparkling golden treasure of unimaginable wonder
  509. >Even though it’s quite warm from the dragon’s flames, you feel a shiver in your spine
  510. >He reminds you of Smaug from The Hobbit, actually
  511. >You had read the Tolkien books as a child but you almost shit your pants watching the movie as an adult
  512. >They did really well with the CGI to make him look terrifying
  513. >And now, here you were, standing before a dragon much like him
  514. “Um, excuse me? Mr. Dragon?”
  515. >The dragon’s eyes bolt open and rest upon you
  516. >Nope.jpg
  517. “Hey, what up dude. My name is—“
  518. >The dragon yawns in your face
  519. >Noxious fumes nearly blow you away
  520.  
  521. “Listen... man. You need to leave. The smoke you’re snoring is going to choke all of the ponies in Equestria. Maybe you could go somewhere else.”
  522. >The dragon slumps back onto his hoard of treasure
  523. >He slams you with a new wave of black smoke
  524. >You start hacking up your lungs
  525. >Ffffuck
  526. >This really does remind you of the Hobbit
  527. >Hmmm, actually...
  528. “Hey man, want to hear some riddles?”
  529. >The dragon opens his eyes again, and watches you with amusement
  530. >”I am ancient and powerful. You are but a young little monkey. What riddles could you speak which I have not heard before?”
  531. “I’m from a faraway land, where we have many riddles unknown to this realm.”
  532. >He grunts
  533. >Smoke everywhere
  534. >”Who are you?”
  535. >You stand up proudly
  536. ”I am the world-walker, the pony-rider, the voice of distant future.”
  537. >”Hah! Cute titles. But they don’t quite answer my question,” he rumbles
  538. ”I am he that masks his friends’ fears. I sing of leaping over deep ravines, and I dodge falling rocks like a mothafucka.”
  539. >”Hah! Those don’t sound so creditable.”
  540. “I am the friend of ponies and dragons alike. I am unknown and familiar all at once. I am guide to the rivers of fate. I am... Trust Anon.”
  541. >”That’s better!” The red dragon bellows
  542. >”Now how can I help you, Trust Anon?”
  543. “Answer my three riddles. If I stump you three times, you must leave Equestria.”
  544. >”And if I answer one?”
  545. “Then I will leave you to your sleep, O great and powerful dragon.”
  546. >”I could just as well splat this pest and do so without conscience.”
  547. “Then you’ll miss my awesome riddles.”
  548. >He ponders for a moment
  549. >”...OK. I shall play your game, O Trust Anon.”
  550.  
  551. >So long as we’re plagiarizing the fuck out of J.R.R. Tolkien, why not steal his riddles too
  552. “Thirty white horses on a red hill,
  553. First they champ,
  554. Then they stamp,
  555. Then they stand still.
  556. What are they?”
  557. >The dragon ponders this
  558. >”Oh, it’s... uh... wait, hang on...”
  559. >He strokes his chin with his claws
  560. >He slithers around the cave a little bit
  561. >”Wait, don’t tell me... Oh, this is a good one.”
  562. >”Oh, is it... no, no, that would make no sense.”
  563. >He takes like five minutes doing this fucking shit
  564. >You eventually just slump down on a heap of gold coins
  565. >You notice Twilight sticking her head in at the cavern entrance
  566. >You make a face and wave her away as if to say, “I got this”
  567. >She looks concerned, but she trusts you and backs out
  568. >”GRAAAAHHHH!!!”
  569. >The dragon crawls over to you and sticks his snout right in your face
  570. >The smell of smoke almost knocks you out
  571. >Hope you don’t die of carbon monoxide poisoning
  572. >”I GIVE UP! WHAT IS THE ANSWER?!”
  573. “Teeth. The answer is teeth.”
  574. >”WHAAAAT?!” the dragon roars
  575. >The whole cave shakes violently
  576. >Your ears are ringing and you feel it in your gut
  577. >”I was going to say that! But dragons have far more than thirty teeth!”
  578. “They’re human teeth. Humans have thirty teeth. About.”
  579. >The dragon looks pissed
  580. >”NEXT. RIDDLE.”
  581.  
  582. “What walks on four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, and three legs in the evening?”
  583. >Every
  584. >EVERY single human knows this one
  585. >But would a dragon know it?
  586. >In a distant world where nothing fucking walks the way a human does
  587. >”Hah! I’ve heard this one before!”
  588. >Oh shit
  589. >Your heart sinks
  590. >Welcome, eternal smoke and darkness
  591. >”Wait... no, hang on, that one was different.”
  592. >Whew
  593. >”Hold on, just give me a minute.”
  594. >God damn it
  595. >More fucking waiting while this fucking dragon racks his little reptilian brain
  596. >You’re dozing off from oxygen deprivation when the dragon gives up again
  597. >You shrug and shake your head
  598. “Man. Man crawls on all fours as a baby. Then he walks on two feet during his life. As an old man, he uses a cane.”
  599. >”What is a cane?”
  600. “It’s uh... nobody here uses canes? It’s a thing that humans use to walk when they get old. It’s like a big stick.”
  601. >”What need have we for canes here?! Dragons do not need assistance to walk! And ponies walk on four legs until they die!”
  602. >You shrug and remind him he only has one chance left
  603. >”Stop asking questions about humans! It’s unfair!!”
  604. “Very well. Last riddle.”
  605. >The dragon gazes at you intently, hungry and desperate for this last riddle
  606. “What’s green, hangs on a wall, and whistles?”
  607.  
  608. >You can tell he’s working hard on this one
  609. >Smoke’s coming out of his ears now, literally
  610. >He takes twice as much time on this one, unwilling to give in
  611. >”How about a hint?”
  612. >You shake your head and decline
  613. >He growls and slithers around the cave again
  614. “Do you give up?”
  615. >”No, let me think some more.”
  616. “I’ll leave so you can pack up your things.”
  617. >”NO! STAY!!” he bellows
  618. “Fine, whatever, god damn.”
  619. >You sit back down on a treasure chest
  620. >You hang your head low, hoping there’s less smoke there
  621. >The next blast of smoke tells you that the dragon is cooked
  622. >Medium well
  623. >”FINE! YOU WIN, TRUST ANON! I’ll leave! But please, please... tell me.”
  624. >”What IS green, hangs on a wall, and whistles?”
  625. >You look up at him with a stone-cold, matter-of-fact face
  626. ”It’s a herring.”
  627. >”But a herring isn’t green!”
  628. “You can paint it green.”
  629. >”But it doesn’t hang on a wall!”
  630. “You can nail it to a wall.”
  631. >”BUT A HERRING. DOESN’T. WHISTLE.”
  632. “Oh, come on. I just threw that in there to keep it from being too obvious.”
  633. >The dragon is fuming now
  634. >He lets out another echoing roar
  635. >And he reaches out with his claw toward you
  636.  
  637. >He pats you gently on the back
  638. >”Well done, Trust Anon! You bested me, fair and square.”
  639. >A big smile spreads across your face
  640. >You did it
  641. >You won!
  642. >”Those truly were some good riddles! Were you so clever as to think of them on your own?”
  643. “Not really. I just stole them from famous human books and stuff. I just picked ones a dragon wouldn’t know.”
  644. >”Hah! Well I shall hold up my end of the wager, and vacate this cave posthaste. I apologize for the misunderstanding.”
  645. “Don’t worry about it, dude.”
  646. >He starts gathering up all his treasure
  647. >You turn your back and start walking toward the cavern entrance feeling like a boss
  648. >Everything turned out right after all
  649. >But then you suddenly think back to Episode 7: Dragonshy
  650. >Hold on
  651. >Doesn’t Fluttershy learn to face her fear and stand up for her friends?
  652. >Oh god damn it
  653. >You forgot about the friendship lesson
  654. >Suddenly, horrors of how the future might be different start racing through your mind
  655. >If Fluttershy doesn’t validate and address her fears, she might become an emotional wreck
  656. >Unable to face dragons ever again
  657. >Hiding behind a false veil of overconfidence while struggling with self-loathing and fear deep inside
  658. >Reliant on you and always hiding in your shadow
  659. >What an awful future for Fluttershy
  660. >Way to fucking go, Anon
  661. >Shit shit shit shit
  662. >What now?
  663.  
  664. “Hey, dumbass!”
  665. >The dragon looks up
  666. >You’re holding a golden chalice
  667. >You fling it at his head
  668. >”Ow! Trust Anon, what is the meaning of this?”
  669. “You’re a fucking moron, that’s the meaning of this. You dumb sack of shit. Human babies can solve those riddles. Fuck you.”
  670. >The dragon’s eyes start to tear up
  671. >”A-anon... I thought...”
  672. “Yeah whatever nobody cares. I’m collecting a Stupid Tax on your dumb ass.”
  673. >You scoop up a big armful of treasure and book it
  674. >You emerge from the cave, spilling gold jewelry and stuff everywhere
  675. >Rarity manages to nab some of it
  676. >”What’s going on, Anon?” Twilight asks
  677. >”Is he going to leave?”
  678. “I don’t know. I think I made him mad.”
  679. >Suddenly there is a horrific shriek from within the cave
  680. >And the red behemoth bursts from the entrance behind you
  681. >He blasts the group with intense flames
  682. >Everyone runs for cover behind a big boulder
  683. >Your clothes get singed
  684. >Fluttershy nearly shits herself and runs off to the side
  685. >She buries her head in the ground like an ostrich
  686. >”What in tarnation did ya do, Anon?!” Applejack screams at you
  687. >You just kind of shrug and look bored, much to everyone’s dismay
  688. >Don’t worry, Fluttershy’s gonna jump out and save the day any minute now
  689. >You peek out from behind the boulder to check on her
  690. >She still has her face in the ground
  691. >Fantastic.
  692.  
  693. >She probably just needs more time to get her act together
  694. >That’s OK you can swing that
  695. “ATTACK!”
  696. >You yell
  697. >”Hey, wait, Anon, I’m the leader!” Twilight cries
  698. >Too late
  699. >The others have already sprung into action
  700. >Applejack is bucking apples at the dragon
  701. >Rainbow Dash is kicking him in the face repeatedly and flying in circles around his head
  702. >Pinkie Pie is distracting him with noisemakers and pelting him with rubber chickens
  703. >Rarity is... stealing more treasure
  704. >God damn it Rarity
  705. >Twilight jumps into action and starts magically shielding the others from the dragon’s intermittent bursts of flame
  706. >OK, everything’s going good so far
  707. >You scan the scene to look for Fluttershy
  708. >Suddenly enormous sharp claws enclose you
  709. >And lift you up off of the ground
  710. >Fuck me
  711. >The dragon lifts you up into the air
  712. >”I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS! I TRUSTED YOU!!” he weeps
  713. >You just smile and wink at him
  714. >Startled, he blinks and just stares blankly at you
  715. >”...How dare you...!”
  716. >Fluttershy’s voice sounds like the music of angels
  717. >”HOW... DARE YOU...!”
  718. >She rises up into the air
  719. >She looks beyond pissed
  720.  
  721. >”ANON! How dare you mistreat this poor, sweet dragon!”
  722. >Wat
  723. >She alights on the dragon’s arm and rips into you
  724. >”Listen here, mister! Just because he’s big, and just because he’s scary, DOESN’T MEAN YOU GET TO BE A BULLY!”
  725. >You wince as she stares you the fuck down
  726. >It burns into your very soul
  727. >”You may be my friend, but you do NOT, I repeat, YOU DO NOT. HURT! THIS! DRAGON!!”
  728. >She gives you the evil eye
  729. >”You got that, Anon?!”
  730. >You sink down into the dragon’s palm, hoping he squishes you now
  731. >“WELL?!” she asks
  732. “But I was just trying to teach you how to face your fears...”
  733. >”And I am very sorry that you were worried about me! But you have a big heart and you know better than to manipulate this poor dragon’s feelings!”
  734. “...But... I...”
  735. >”Don’t you ‘But I’ me, mister! Now what do you have to say for yourself?”
  736. >That’s it
  737. >You can’t hold in the shame any longer
  738. >You just start fucking bawling your eyes out
  739. >You feel like a little baby
  740. >”There, there. No need to cry. You’re not a bad person. You just made a bad decision. Now apologize to this poor dragon.”
  741. “I... I... I’m sorry!”
  742. >You sob
  743. >The dragon just has this smug ass look on his face
  744. >God damn it
  745. >But he sets you down on the ground
  746. >His heart warmed by Fluttershy’s kindness
  747. >What a bro
  748. >”Now Mr. Dragon, if you would please go pack your things," Fluttershy says
  749. >"I apologize for my friend.”
  750.  
  751. >All of the ponies wave goodbye to the red dragon as he takes to the sky with his hoard of treasure
  752. >Dash immediately starts dispersing the smoke with her wings
  753. >The day is saved
  754. >But you feel awful
  755. >All you do is lean your head against a rock and mope
  756. >You glance sideways at Fluttershy, but she’s occupied with cleaning up
  757. >”She really cares about ya, Anon,” Applejack says as she approaches you
  758. “Yeah, right.”
  759. >How could she, after that utter display of douchery?
  760. >”Honest. I know for sure.”
  761. “How?”
  762. >”While you were in that cave, Fluttershy told us that she’s deathly ‘fraid of dragons.”
  763. “So...?”
  764. >”So... how much do ya gotta care about someone to go and have to get right next to something yer afraid of? Just to chew you out!” Applejack chuckles
  765. >”What’s more, she faced her fear, didn’t she?” Twilight says as she walks up to you
  766. “...Really?”
  767. >”Well, she went so far as to defend that poor dragon from you! Even though she’s terrified of dragons!”
  768. “...You’re right!”
  769. >You slump over again
  770. ”But she won’t forgive me. ...I just want to tell her that I won’t misbehave like that again.”
  771. >”Tell her yerself,” Applejack says
  772. >You look up
  773. >Here she comes
  774. >She’s... smiling
  775. >She flies up and hugs you
  776. >”Anon! Thank you!”
  777. >Huh?
  778.  
  779. >”You learned something wonderful about friendship, didn’t you, Fluttershy?” Twilight says
  780. >She nods
  781. >Twilight whips out a paper and quill from her bag
  782. >Prepared as usual to write a letter to Princess Celestia
  783. >Twilight nods for Fluttershy to continue
  784. >”Friends give you the strength you need to face your fears!” Fluttershy starts
  785. >”But pretending to be brave isn’t how you face your problems. Only by accepting your fears can you learn to face them for real!”
  786. >Well done, Fluttershy
  787. >You breathe a sigh of relief
  788. >And you hug her
  789. >”Hey!” Pinkie Pie cries
  790. “What is it, Pinkie?”
  791. >”Anon, did you really mean what you said earlier?”
  792. “About what?”
  793. >”About... about how you don’t fuck horses?!?”
  794. “HUH?”
  795. >”Now why would you be concernin’ yerself with that, Pinkie?” Applejack says, patting her on the back
  796. >”Oh, I don’t know! Hah hah hah!” She laughs nervously
  797. >Everyone laughs
  798.  
  799. The End

MLP:RtM 1-2 Friendship is Magic

by Alaric

MLP:RtM 3 The Ticket Master

by Alaric

MLP:RtM 4 Applebuck Season

by Alaric

MLPRtM: 7 Dragonshy

by Alaric