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MLPRtM: 7 Dragonshy

By Alaric
Created: 2021-12-12 02:57:20
Updated: 2023-10-10 00:00:08
Expiry: Never

  1. Author: TMPony
  2. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  3. >You’re chilling out on a bench by the water fountain in the park
  4. >Rainbow Dash is bouncing a ball on her head
  5. >”Hey, Anon! Check it out! I’m gonna be the next Equestria ball-bouncing record holder!”
  6. >Pinkie Pie calls for a celebration and zooms off
  7. >You shake your head
  8. “Don’t get cocky, Dash.”
  9. >You silently mouth a countdown, with a smug look on your face
  10. >Just as you hit zero, Pinkie Pie comes running back and slams into Rainbow Dash, breaking her streak
  11. >”Ugh! Pinkie Pie!”
  12. >Rainbow then glares at you
  13. >Haha, classic
  14. >You remember this scene
  15. >It’s from the very beginning of Season 1, Episode 7
  16. >Dragonshy
  17. >You turn your gaze to the sky and watch the ominous black smoke cloud as it drifts over the land
  18. >Nobody else notices it until Twilight appears and announces it
  19. >Commotion breaks out
  20. >You calmly rise to your feet and stretch, walking through the mob of fearful villagers
  21. >Here we go again
  22.  
  23. >Twilight Sparkle explains that the smoke is coming from a dragon snoring on a nearby mountaintop
  24. >And that Princess Celestia has tasked her with the mission of evicting the dragon
  25. >You actually look forward to a nice hike up a mountain
  26. >You could use the exercise
  27. >Since things have been pretty slow around here lately
  28. >Whoa who whoa, hold your horses Anon
  29. >lol, horses
  30. >You just remembered
  31. >This episode is an important friendship lesson for Fluttershy
  32. >She finds that her friends are a source of strength to help her overcome her greatest fears
  33. >It’s probably best for you not to interfere
  34. >After all, you’ve nearly fucked up every episode you’ve been in so far
  35. >You could sit this one out, right?
  36. >You've earned a break
  37. >”Anon!”
  38. >Twilight calls you over
  39. >”Mission debriefing at the library in ten minutes. Round up all of the Elements of Harmony!”
  40. “I’m actually really busy.”
  41. >”Yes, I can see that goofing off in the park is more important than stopping a dragon from suffocating the entire land in smoke.”
  42. “I can’t come.”
  43. >Twilight rolls her eyes at you
  44. >Rainbow Dash flies up
  45. >”Why? Are you SCARED?!”
  46. >Fuck you, Dash
  47. >I know all about the dragon, but I’m just trying to be a RESPONSIBLE future-seeing world-breaking asshole
  48. >Cut me some slack
  49. >Speaking of scared, where’s Fluttershy
  50. >You scan the crowd
  51. >She seems to have snuck away when she saw that Twilight was preoccupied with you
  52. >God damn it
  53.  
  54. >Golden Oaks Library
  55. >It took you twenty minutes to find yellowquiet
  56. >And you practically had to drag her by the tail here
  57. >All the while keeping your lips zipped for fear of spoiling the episode
  58. >It basically looked like you were kidnapping her for >rape
  59. >She was babbling about dragons the whole time
  60. >You drag her inside and find everyone there discussing their plan of action
  61. >”All right, everypony. I need you to gather supplies quickly. We’ve got a long journey ahead of us. Let’s meet back here in less than an hour. That means you too, Anon!”
  62. >The others head for the door, but you hang behind
  63. “We still have one more Element of Harmony. Vinyl Scratch. I’ll go get her, and then we’ll catch up.”
  64. >”Nice try, Anon!” Pinkie Pie laughs
  65. >”Vinyl’s in Manehattan doing a gig!”
  66. >”Looks like Anon’s tryin’ ta get out of it,” Applejack snickers
  67. >You scoff and cross your arms
  68. “Well, you’re right about that.”
  69. >”Why don’t you want to come, Anon?!” Twilight begs
  70. >You struggle to try to come up with an explanation
  71. >You decide to go off of Dash’s original suggestion
  72. “I’m scared of dragons.”
  73. >”WHAT?” Everyone shouts in unison
  74. “Yup. Terrified.”
  75. >”Anon,” Rarity says
  76. >”We’re your friends! We’ll always be here to help you face your fears!”
  77. “Oh, what a relief!”
  78. >You glance over at Fluttershy with a look as if to say, “You hear that?”
  79. >WINK WINK HINT HINT
  80. >Fluttershy just looks even more scared now
  81. >Her fears reinforced now that someone else has admitted to being afraid
  82. >Gaaaahhhhh confound these ponies
  83.  
  84. >”Wait, ah get it now!” Applejack exclaims
  85. >”This is one o’ yer spooky future visions, am I right?”
  86. >”Y’all know what’s gonna happen and y’all don’t want to interfere!”
  87. >You feel an ice cold arrow shoot straight through your chest
  88. >Nailed it, AJ
  89. >How can you read me so damn well?!
  90. >Twilight approaches you
  91. >”Anon, your ability to predict the future is an invaluable asset! You could play a part in saving Equestria!”
  92. “You saved Equestria just fine without me in the show. You can do it again.”
  93. >”But can’t you tell us even a little bit?”
  94. “No. Princess Celestia wants you to study the magic of friendship. If I just TELL you what’s going to happen, you won’t learn it for yourself.”
  95. >Rainbow Dash groans
  96. >”Ugh, Anon! We’ve been over this already! You can tell us about the show! You can TRUST us!”
  97. “I TRUST you to do this without me. Sorry, I’m leaving. Have fun.”
  98. >You head to the door
  99. >As soon as you step outside, you feel the sinking feeling in your chest again
  100. >What if in this alternate continuity
  101. >One of them gets crushed in the avalanche?
  102. >Or eaten by the dragon?
  103. >Anything goes in this continuity
  104. >No, no, this is still a children’s show
  105. >That wouldn’t happen
  106. >Hahaha
  107. >Ha
  108. >...
  109. >...Fuck
  110. >FUCK
  111. >You turn right around and march back into the library
  112. >”We knew you’d be back,” Applejack says
  113. >You sigh and shake your head
  114. >The ponies start heading out the door to gather supplies for the journey
  115. >You and Fluttershy just stand there, exchanging worried looks
  116.  
  117. >YEAH GETTING READY MONTAGE
  118. >All of the ponies hurry back with saddlebags filled with trail gear and rations
  119. >You rummage around in your small pile of personal belongings on the floor of the library next to your makeshift bed
  120. >All you really have that could be useful is a pocket knife
  121. >You shove it in your jeans pocket
  122. >Twilight also brings you a saddlebag with a water bottle and some other stuff
  123. >You don’t really care, these girls overprepare for shit
  124. >You fiddle with the strap to make a makeshift side satchel and slip it on
  125. >You head outside where everyone is gathering
  126. >All of the ponies pose dramatically in a lineup
  127. >You lazily shamble over and lean on Rainbow Dash
  128. >Purple Exposition is talking about the mountain again
  129. >Blah blah blah holy hell this is actually boring
  130. >Since you already have an idea of what’s going to happen
  131. >Still, if you play your cards right, you can prevent utter disaster
  132. >”Looks pretty cold up there,” Applejack observes
  133. >”You bet it is. The higher you go, the chillier it gets,” Rainbow says
  134. >”Good thing I brought my scarf!” Rarity brags
  135. >She whips it out and puts it on
  136. >Suddenly, you notice that all of these ponies are covered in fur
  137. >You’re just a hairless string bean in a ratty T-shirt
  138. >”Don’t worry, Anon, I brought you a scarf too!”
  139. >She throws it on you
  140. >It’s pink and matches her
  141. >”Stop showering Anon with gifts, Rarity...” Applejack complains
  142. >”Oh my...” Rarity giggles
  143.  
  144. >”Um, excuse me, Twilight...” Fluttershy speaks up
  145. >Twilight is preoccupied with the map
  146. >Fluttershy struggles to explain that she doesn’t want to go on the mission
  147. >Finally Twilight tunes in
  148. >”Wait! You have to come! Your way with wild animals will surely come in handy!”
  149. >”I don’t think I...”
  150. >Twilight interrupts to explain that Spike will watch over the animals in the meadow
  151. >”You can count on me!”
  152. >He scampers off after some escaped critters
  153. >Fluttershy whimpers
  154. >Hmm maybe a little bit of early intervention can help in this case
  155. >You head over to Fluttershy and pat her on the head
  156. “Hey, what’s going on? C’mon, you can tell me.”
  157. >You know exactly what’s going on but you’re just trying to show her that she can trust you
  158. >She blushes and averts her eyes
  159. “Hey, ‘Shy, listen. There’s nothing to be afraid of. I’ll protect you.”
  160. >Before she can respond, Twilight gives the order to move out
  161. >The others form a stamped that sweep you and Fluttershy away in a galloping whirlwind
  162. >Applejack scoops you up onto her back
  163. >You’re way too big for the little pony but she’s strong as a horse
  164. >You look over at Fluttershy getting dragged along
  165. >She’s just staring at you, searching for something to say
  166. >But eventually she just stares at the ground
  167. >Ooooookaaayyyy
  168.  
  169. >The whole land seems to shake with a violent earthquake and the rumbling sound of the dragon’s snore rings in your ears
  170. >You actually are a little startled
  171. >Fluttershy shrieks and hides behind you, clutching your shirt
  172. >Umm...
  173. >Pinkie Pie notices how close Fluttershy is hanging on to you
  174. >She seems completely fine with it
  175. >She’s a little too optimistic to become jealous that easily
  176. >”It’s... so... tall...”
  177. >Rainbow opens her mouth but you blurt out
  178. “Well it IS a tall thing!”
  179. >Everyone looks at you funny
  180. >Nobody gets the joke
  181. >Why would they
  182. >God damn you’re a faggot
  183. >Dash almost zooms off but Applejack pulls her back down to the ground and suggests you all travel together
  184. >Everyone starts heading up the cliff
  185. >What the fuck are these ponies like mountain goats or something
  186. >How do they just walk up a sheer cliff
  187. >Reminds you of a Skyrim glitch video
  188. >Baffled, you try to get a handhold but it just crumbles at your touch
  189. >You try a few different spots but can’t seem to get a good grip
  190. >You never were good at rock climbing
  191. >Frustrated, you just throw yourself at the mountain to try to slither up the slope
  192. >But you keep sliding down
  193. >What is this wizardry
  194. >”Oh no! Anon can’t get up this way!” Pinkie Pie cries
  195. >”Neither can Fluttershy,” Rainbow Dash groans
  196. >You look over your shoulder
  197. >Fluttershy is cowering in a bush
  198. >”Anon! There’s another path around the mountain!” Applejack says
  199. >Twilight rolls up the map and tosses it down to you
  200. >”Take Fluttershy that way!”
  201. >The dragon emits another deafening roar, I mean snore
  202. >Fluttershy freaks and freezes up like a statue
  203. >You glance up at the others and make a pained face
  204. >Why.jpg
  205.  
  206. >You grab ahold of Fluttershy’s tail and pull
  207. >She’s making herself heavy, like a baby who stays glued to the ground when it doesn’t want to be picked up
  208. >After dragging Fluttershy a few yards, you sigh and give up
  209. >You hunch down on a rock and bury your face in your hands
  210. “Fluttershy, for the love of...”
  211. >Ain’t nobody got time for this shit
  212. >You hear more whimpers
  213. >And gasping
  214. >Oh, fuck
  215. >You look up
  216. >She’s crying
  217. >”Anon! I’m s-s-s-s-sorr-rr-rryyyy I l-l-let you dooownn!!”
  218. >She’s just completely melting down in front of you
  219. >Your hearts aches
  220. “No, hey, come on. HEY! Fluttershy, stop crying.”
  221. >You go over to her and pet her on the back
  222. >It’s heaving up and down
  223. “Come on, hey, I’m not mad. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it...”
  224. >She just keeps crying her eyes out
  225.  
  226. >Finally you just decide to hold her in a tight embrace
  227. >She’s lying on the ground though so you can’t really wrap your arms around her
  228. >You just kind of flop on top of her and hold her
  229. “Shh... shh...”
  230. >She eventually relaxes enough to sit up straight
  231. >Allowing you to pull her into your arms
  232. >She buries her muzzle in your chest
  233. “You’re safe. I could never be mad at you. And I’ll protect you from the scary dragon.”
  234. >She pulls away and gasps
  235. >”How... how did you know I’m afraid of the dragon?”
  236. “I’m Anon, remember? That’s my special ability.”
  237. >”But... I thought you only knew the important things. And I don’t think me being afraid is very important.”
  238. >Uhhh, shit
  239. >Well, I guess I can say
  240. “It’s absolutely important, ‘Shy. You’ll know why in due time.”
  241. >Her sobbing is subdued now
  242. >Her chest is still rising up and down against yours
  243. >”Anon, you said you’re also afraid of the dragon, right?”
  244. >Actually, Applejack already debunked that claim, but Fluttershy must have missed it while she was flipping out
  245. “Yeah, I guess I am.”
  246. >”So... how? How can you do this? How can you be so brave?”
  247. >She hugs you again, pressing her ear to your chest
  248. >”I want to be brave like you.”
  249.  
  250. >There must be something else you can do to boost her confidence
  251. >To validate her emotions and show her that it’s OK to be scared
  252. >And that those are the times when you must look inside yourself to find bravery
  253. >You watched enough children’s movies as a kid know that one
  254. >But maybe Fluttershy was a little too sheltered for their equivalents here in Equestria
  255. >Suddenly, you have an idea
  256. You unwrap the pink scarf from your neck and drape it over her
  257. >You reach around and wrap it around her neck a couple times
  258. ”There! This is my magic scarf. It helps give you courage. It helped me.”
  259. >”A-Anon!”
  260. >She looks down at the scarf in confusion
  261. “Don’t tell anybody, or the magic won’t work.”
  262. >She frowns at you
  263. >”Anon... I just watched Rarity hand you this scarf a few minutes ago.”
  264. >You smile and laugh
  265. >She looks annoyed at first
  266. >That you’d try to pull this kiddy shit on her
  267. >But finally she giggles and shoves you away
  268. >”...Thank you, Anon.”
  269.  
  270. >After nearly an hour of marching up the alternate route, you rendezvous with the others
  271. >”Told you it was gonna take forever,” Dash whispers to Twilight
  272. >But when Dash sees Fluttershy standing up and walking on her own four hooves, she does a double take
  273. >Fluttershy joins Rarity, Pinkie, and Applejack as they continue up the mountain
  274. >Fluttershy seems to be a lot more confident now
  275. >She flashes you a big, beautiful smile as she passes by you
  276. >But when they’re out of earshot, Dash flies back to where you’re standing
  277. >”What in all of pony’s name did you DO, Anon?”
  278. >You shrug
  279. “It was nothing, really.”
  280. >”Did you...” she starts looking really agitated
  281. >Dash starts flying in circles around your head
  282. >”You didn’t do anything that would make Pinkie Pie jealous, did you?!”
  283. >”Dash!” Twilight scolds her
  284. >"Just because he's not a pony, doesn't mean..."
  285. >"DASH! Stop right there!!" Twilight hisses
  286. >You cram your hands in your pockets
  287. “Thanks for the vote of confidence, Dashie.”
  288. >You stomp away
  289. >Behind you, you hear Twilight and Rainbow arguing
  290. >Eventually Rainbow Dash zooms past you without a word
  291. >Twilight comes running up to you
  292. >”Anon! Dash just doesn’t...”
  293. “Trust me? Why would she?”
  294. >You growl
  295. >Twilight hangs her head
  296. >Ahead of you on the trail, you can hear Fluttershy talking to the others
  297. >You can’t hear what she’s saying, but the others are laughing out loudly
  298. >You and Twilight march side by side in utter silence
  299.  
  300. >You all come to the small chasm over the deep ravine
  301. >You join in with Pinkie Pie to sing “Hop, Skip, and Jump” for Fluttershy
  302. >It ends up being a lot of fun
  303. >Pinkie Pie wonders how you already knew all of the words and accuses you of telepathy
  304. >Fluttershy really loves the performance and decides to jump
  305. >She timidly approaches the gap
  306. >But hops over it without freezing up
  307. >You jump over the gap after her
  308. >”Way to go, Fluttershy! Nice jump.”
  309. >Fluttershy brushes her hair aside and beams at you
  310. >Rainbow Dash groans and flies away
  311. >The group continues on its way
  312. >Everythingwentbetterthanexpected.jpg
  313. >Maybe things may actually go a little bit smoother now that you’ve instilled some confidence in her
  314. >Rarity looks at you and covertly points at the scarf on Fluttershy’s neck
  315. >You just wink at Rarity as if you know what you're doing
  316. >She smiles and shrugs and continues on
  317. >That reminds you, it’s starting to get chilly
  318. >You pull your T-shirt up to your chin
  319. >Part of you is happy that Fluttershy seems to have found her bravery
  320. >But you can start to see where this turn of events might be going
  321. >And it’s not looking good
  322. >WhathaveIdone
  323.  
  324. >”You’ve got ‘guilty’ written all over your face, Anon,” Rainbow Dash says out of the blue
  325. ”Look, I don’t need your shit, Dash. Trust me, or don’t.”
  326. >”No, you look. I’ve been trying to get Fluttershy out of her little shell for years and suddenly you come out of nowhere and—“
  327. >”Keep it down,” Twilight says
  328. >”According to my map, we’re entering an avalanche zone. The smallest peep could cause a huge rock slide.”
  329. >You turn away from Rainbow Dash and just try to carefully head up the slope
  330. >You keep a close eye on Fluttershy as you go to make sure she doesn’t cause an avalanche
  331. >”Suspicious...” Dash whispers as she floats past you
  332. >Oh my god shut the fuck up
  333. >You try to concentrate
  334. >In the TV show, a leaf falls on Fluttershy’s croup, startling her and causing her to scream
  335. >You walk behind Fluttershy, keeping a close eye on her plot, ready to catch any falling leaves
  336. >Rainbow Dash looks over her shoulder and sees you eyeballing dat ass
  337. >”Perveerrt...” She mouths
  338. >CUNT DASH
  339. >You keep walking and keeping a close watch on that yellow ass
  340. >Fluttershy turns for a moment and notices you
  341. >She turns pink and faces front, and keeps walking
  342. >Rainbow Dash circles back to you
  343. >”Stop flirting!”
  344. “I’m not! What's gotten into you? I thought we were friends!”
  345. >”Oh, we are. But you and Fluttershy are friends, with benefits, aren’t you?”
  346. >You rage
  347. “I DON’T FUCK HORSES!!”
  348. >You scream at the top of your lungs
  349. >Everyone stops dead in their tracks
  350. >There is a distant rumbling
  351.  
  352. >The whole world shakes as the mountain crumbles down around you
  353. >Boulders falling left and right
  354. >You just stand there frozen for a moment
  355. >Welp, it was a good run
  356. >Goodbye Equestria
  357. >Suddenly you snap out of your daze
  358. >When you notice a shadow getting larger all around you
  359. >You pump your legs and just start booking it
  360. >You manage to get out from under a huge ass chunk of mountain that would have killed you
  361. >It slams the ground and the impact nearly knocks you to your feet
  362. >Everyone is screaming avalanche and dodging falling rocks
  363. >Adrenaline is surging through you
  364. >You start running through the maelstrom of falling boulders
  365. >Each one could squish you flat and it’d be over
  366. >You’re trying to remember the scene from the episode shot for shot
  367. >To help you dodge each rock
  368. >But even though you remember it vividly, it feels a lot different in real life
  369. >You can’t really predict well at all
  370. >You hop all over the slope, sidestepping rocks as they rain down around you
  371. >However a small one catches the leg of your jeans and trips you up
  372. >You fall to the ground
  373. >You’re in the shadow of another huge rock
  374.  
  375. >You hear wings flapping and a loud whooshing sound
  376. >Rainbow, saving my ass again probably
  377. >”Anooooooon!”
  378. >You snap right
  379. >A yellow and pink blur racing toward you
  380. >Holy fuck she is fast
  381. >She slams into you with a huge headbutt
  382. >She sends you flying
  383. >FLUTTERSHY YOU SWEET ANGEL
  384. >You spin through the air
  385. >You catch a glimpse of her, standing motionless right in the shadow of the boulder
  386. >She’s smiling
  387. >At you
  388. >You can't bear to see her
  389. >You close your eyes
  390. >You hear the boulder hit the ground
  391. >You slam into the trunk of a tree pretty much completely horizontally
  392. >It all happened so fast.
  393.  
  394. >Fluttershy...
  395. >You’re lying on the ground as the smoke swirls around you
  396. >The avalanche seems to be over
  397. >Fluttershy...
  398. >Your mouth is full of a fuckton of dirt
  399. >You spit it out
  400. >Fluttershy!
  401. >You try to suddenly move but your whole body aches
  402. >Is your spine broken?
  403. >No, you can feel your legs
  404. >They hurt like hell
  405. >Why the fuck would you do this Fluttershy
  406. >WHY
  407. >Your chest is heaving up and down
  408. >You pound your fists into the dirt
  409. “AAAAUUHHHHH!!!”
  410. >Tears are streaming down your face
  411. >You channel all of your strength into your arms to push yourself up to your knees
  412. >You start crawling through the rocky landscape
  413. >Each rock pierces your palms and your knees with intense pain
  414. >But there’s only one thing you care about
  415. >F-Fluttershy
  416. >Please be all right
  417.  
  418. >Rainbow Dash’s voice cuts sharply through the smoke
  419. >”Hey guys, I found him!”
  420. >She starts clearing the smoke with her wings
  421. >You inhale some dust and start coughing like crazy and rubbing your eyes
  422. >When you open them again, you see the others standing all together in a group
  423. >All of them, except Fluttershy
  424. >Wait
  425. >Never mind
  426. >She’s standing off to the side
  427. >So you didn’t notice her at first
  428. >She’s completely unscathed
  429. >You struggle to get to your feet and you limp over to her
  430. >Keep it together, Anon
  431. >Just be cool
  432. >You reach her and throw your arms around her
  433. “WAAAAHHHH F-F-FLUTTTERSHY AHHHH F-FUCK-K-K I THOUGHT THA FUCK-K-K AAAAGHHHHH YOU’RE O-O-O-KAHAYHAYHAYHAY EHHHAHHHHAHHHAHHH!!”
  434. >You just fucking melt down all over her
  435. >Yep
  436. >Cool.
  437.  
  438. >You’re all hiking up the huge gravelly slope left by the rockslide
  439. >Rainbow is flying beside you, helping to carry you because you are having difficulty walking on your own
  440. “Th-Thanks for grabbing Flutters before she got...”
  441. >”Don’t mention it. And, sorry I, uh...”
  442. “Don’t mention it.”
  443. >You walk in silence for a while
  444. >”...Anon, I think I see your game!”
  445. >You sigh and brace yourself for some more stupid rainbow shit
  446. >”You’re trying to slowly build up Fluttershy’s confidence, aren’t you?”
  447. “Excuse me?”
  448. >”Yeah, at first she’s all terrified, then you disappear for a little while and do pony knows what, then the ‘Hop, Skip, and Jump’ thing, now her saving you from that rock...”
  449. “Are you saying that I did that shit on PURPOSE? That I’d risk my own LIFE?”
  450. >”Everyone knows you’re completely insane! That’s why I like you!”
  451. “What?”
  452. >”N-nothing.”
  453. >You both look at Fluttershy, marching up near the front of the group
  454. >She has her chest puffed out proudly as she conquers the rock pile
  455. >She looks like a million bits
  456. >”Anon, isn’t it like, fake courage?”
  457. “What do you mean?”
  458. >”Just because she’s really confident right now, do you think it means she’ll be able to tackle the dragon?”
  459. ”I don’t see why not.”
  460. >On the other hand
  461. >You can see why not
  462. >You look up at the dragon’s smoke, still drifting across the sky
  463. >Maybe you’ve injected Fluttershy with a little too much courage
  464. >And she’s gonna bite off more than she can chew when she’s face to face with her worst fear
  465. >You hobble along a little bit longer and try to formulate a plan, but nothing comes to mind
  466. >Welp, guess you’re just going to have to save the show with a little improvising
  467. >...Again
  468.  
  469. >”We’re here,” Twilight announces
  470. >The seven of you are standing at the mouth of an enormous cave
  471. >Thick black smoke looms over you as it floats from within
  472. >Fluttershy has her chin perked up and is smiling
  473. >Fffuck
  474. >You’re getting a little nervous
  475. >Twilight goes over the plan
  476. >”Rainbow Dash, youll use your wings to clear the smoke. Rarity and Pinkie Pie, you'll create a diversion to distract the dragon if things get a little hairy in there. Applejack, you're ready with the apples in case he decides to attack. But it shouldn't come to that, because Fluttershy will do what she needs to do to wake him up, and between her and Anon, we should be able to get him to understand why he needs to go.”
  477. >A flash of fear and worry comes across Fluttershy’s face
  478. >But before you could call her out on it, she’s back to her overconfident perkiness
  479. >You knew it
  480. >Deep down she’s still scared shitless
  481. >But she’s putting on a facade and calling it courage
  482. >If she goes in there she’s just going to get hurt
  483. >And you promised to protect her
  484. >She put her life on the line for you
  485. >Why wouldn’t you do the same?
  486. “Don’t worry about any of your plan, Twilight.”
  487. >”Huh, why?”
  488. “Because I’m going to handle this on my own.”
  489. >Before any of them can stop you, you take off running into the cave
  490. >Alone
  491. >LEEEEROOOOOYYYYY
  492. >JEEEENNNKIIIINNNNSSSS
  493.  
  494. >You suddenly slow to a limp when pain shoots through your leg again
  495. >God damn it
  496. >Feels like just yesterday you fell off that ladder at Sweet Apple Acres
  497. >The air smells like burning coal
  498. >It takes a few moments for your eyes to adjust to the darkness
  499. >You can hardly tell where you’re going until you practically bump into him
  500. >HOLY SHIT
  501. >What
  502. >WHAT
  503. >He’s even more awesome and terrifying than you ever imagined
  504. >And you’ve SEEN him in the show before
  505. >You just feel tiny before his immense form
  506. >Coiled up amidst the rolling hills of sparkling golden treasure of unimaginable wonder
  507. >Even though it’s quite warm from the dragon’s flames, you feel a shiver in your spine
  508. >He reminds you of Smaug from The Hobbit, actually
  509. >You had read the Tolkien books as a child but you almost shit your pants watching the movie as an adult
  510. >They did really well with the CGI to make him look terrifying
  511. >And now, here you were, standing before a dragon much like him
  512. “Um, excuse me? Mr. Dragon?”
  513. >The dragon’s eyes bolt open and rest upon you
  514. >Nope.jpg
  515. “Hey, what up dude. My name is—“
  516. >The dragon yawns in your face
  517. >Noxious fumes nearly blow you away
  518.  
  519. “Listen... man. You need to leave. The smoke you’re snoring is going to choke all of the ponies in Equestria. Maybe you could go somewhere else.”
  520. >The dragon slumps back onto his hoard of treasure
  521. >He slams you with a new wave of black smoke
  522. >You start hacking up your lungs
  523. >Ffffuck
  524. >This really does remind you of the Hobbit
  525. >Hmmm, actually...
  526. “Hey man, want to hear some riddles?”
  527. >The dragon opens his eyes again, and watches you with amusement
  528. >”I am ancient and powerful. You are but a young little monkey. What riddles could you speak which I have not heard before?”
  529. “I’m from a faraway land, where we have many riddles unknown to this realm.”
  530. >He grunts
  531. >Smoke everywhere
  532. >”Who are you?”
  533. >You stand up proudly
  534. ”I am the world-walker, the pony-rider, the voice of distant future.”
  535. >”Hah! Cute titles. But they don’t quite answer my question,” he rumbles
  536. ”I am he that masks his friends’ fears. I sing of leaping over deep ravines, and I dodge falling rocks like a mothafucka.”
  537. >”Hah! Those don’t sound so creditable.”
  538. “I am the friend of ponies and dragons alike. I am unknown and familiar all at once. I am guide to the rivers of fate. I am... Trust Anon.”
  539. >”That’s better!” The red dragon bellows
  540. >”Now how can I help you, Trust Anon?”
  541. “Answer my three riddles. If I stump you three times, you must leave Equestria.”
  542. >”And if I answer one?”
  543. “Then I will leave you to your sleep, O great and powerful dragon.”
  544. >”I could just as well splat this pest and do so without conscience.”
  545. “Then you’ll miss my awesome riddles.”
  546. >He ponders for a moment
  547. >”...OK. I shall play your game, O Trust Anon.”
  548.  
  549. >So long as we’re plagiarizing the fuck out of J.R.R. Tolkien, why not steal his riddles too
  550. “Thirty white horses on a red hill,
  551. First they champ,
  552. Then they stamp,
  553. Then they stand still.
  554. What are they?”
  555. >The dragon ponders this
  556. >”Oh, it’s... uh... wait, hang on...”
  557. >He strokes his chin with his claws
  558. >He slithers around the cave a little bit
  559. >”Wait, don’t tell me... Oh, this is a good one.”
  560. >”Oh, is it... no, no, that would make no sense.”
  561. >He takes like five minutes doing this fucking shit
  562. >You eventually just slump down on a heap of gold coins
  563. >You notice Twilight sticking her head in at the cavern entrance
  564. >You make a face and wave her away as if to say, “I got this”
  565. >She looks concerned, but she trusts you and backs out
  566. >”GRAAAAHHHH!!!”
  567. >The dragon crawls over to you and sticks his snout right in your face
  568. >The smell of smoke almost knocks you out
  569. >Hope you don’t die of carbon monoxide poisoning
  570. >”I GIVE UP! WHAT IS THE ANSWER?!”
  571. “Teeth. The answer is teeth.”
  572. >”WHAAAAT?!” the dragon roars
  573. >The whole cave shakes violently
  574. >Your ears are ringing and you feel it in your gut
  575. >”I was going to say that! But dragons have far more than thirty teeth!”
  576. “They’re human teeth. Humans have thirty teeth. About.”
  577. >The dragon looks pissed
  578. >”NEXT. RIDDLE.”
  579.  
  580. “What walks on four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, and three legs in the evening?”
  581. >Every
  582. >EVERY single human knows this one
  583. >But would a dragon know it?
  584. >In a distant world where nothing fucking walks the way a human does
  585. >”Hah! I’ve heard this one before!”
  586. >Oh shit
  587. >Your heart sinks
  588. >Welcome, eternal smoke and darkness
  589. >”Wait... no, hang on, that one was different.”
  590. >Whew
  591. >”Hold on, just give me a minute.”
  592. >God damn it
  593. >More fucking waiting while this fucking dragon racks his little reptilian brain
  594. >You’re dozing off from oxygen deprivation when the dragon gives up again
  595. >You shrug and shake your head
  596. “Man. Man crawls on all fours as a baby. Then he walks on two feet during his life. As an old man, he uses a cane.”
  597. >”What is a cane?”
  598. “It’s uh... nobody here uses canes? It’s a thing that humans use to walk when they get old. It’s like a big stick.”
  599. >”What need have we for canes here?! Dragons do not need assistance to walk! And ponies walk on four legs until they die!”
  600. >You shrug and remind him he only has one chance left
  601. >”Stop asking questions about humans! It’s unfair!!”
  602. “Very well. Last riddle.”
  603. >The dragon gazes at you intently, hungry and desperate for this last riddle
  604. “What’s green, hangs on a wall, and whistles?”
  605.  
  606. >You can tell he’s working hard on this one
  607. >Smoke’s coming out of his ears now, literally
  608. >He takes twice as much time on this one, unwilling to give in
  609. >”How about a hint?”
  610. >You shake your head and decline
  611. >He growls and slithers around the cave again
  612. “Do you give up?”
  613. >”No, let me think some more.”
  614. “I’ll leave so you can pack up your things.”
  615. >”NO! STAY!!” he bellows
  616. “Fine, whatever, god damn.”
  617. >You sit back down on a treasure chest
  618. >You hang your head low, hoping there’s less smoke there
  619. >The next blast of smoke tells you that the dragon is cooked
  620. >Medium well
  621. >”FINE! YOU WIN, TRUST ANON! I’ll leave! But please, please... tell me.”
  622. >”What IS green, hangs on a wall, and whistles?”
  623. >You look up at him with a stone-cold, matter-of-fact face
  624. ”It’s a herring.”
  625. >”But a herring isn’t green!”
  626. “You can paint it green.”
  627. >”But it doesn’t hang on a wall!”
  628. “You can nail it to a wall.”
  629. >”BUT A HERRING. DOESN’T. WHISTLE.”
  630. “Oh, come on. I just threw that in there to keep it from being too obvious.”
  631. >The dragon is fuming now
  632. >He lets out another echoing roar
  633. >And he reaches out with his claw toward you
  634.  
  635. >He pats you gently on the back
  636. >”Well done, Trust Anon! You bested me, fair and square.”
  637. >A big smile spreads across your face
  638. >You did it
  639. >You won!
  640. >”Those truly were some good riddles! Were you so clever as to think of them on your own?”
  641. “Not really. I just stole them from famous human books and stuff. I just picked ones a dragon wouldn’t know.”
  642. >”Hah! Well I shall hold up my end of the wager, and vacate this cave posthaste. I apologize for the misunderstanding.”
  643. “Don’t worry about it, dude.”
  644. >He starts gathering up all his treasure
  645. >You turn your back and start walking toward the cavern entrance feeling like a boss
  646. >Everything turned out right after all
  647. >But then you suddenly think back to Episode 7: Dragonshy
  648. >Hold on
  649. >Doesn’t Fluttershy learn to face her fear and stand up for her friends?
  650. >Oh god damn it
  651. >You forgot about the friendship lesson
  652. >Suddenly, horrors of how the future might be different start racing through your mind
  653. >If Fluttershy doesn’t validate and address her fears, she might become an emotional wreck
  654. >Unable to face dragons ever again
  655. >Hiding behind a false veil of overconfidence while struggling with self-loathing and fear deep inside
  656. >Reliant on you and always hiding in your shadow
  657. >What an awful future for Fluttershy
  658. >Way to fucking go, Anon
  659. >Shit shit shit shit
  660. >What now?
  661.  
  662. “Hey, dumbass!”
  663. >The dragon looks up
  664. >You’re holding a golden chalice
  665. >You fling it at his head
  666. >”Ow! Trust Anon, what is the meaning of this?”
  667. “You’re a fucking moron, that’s the meaning of this. You dumb sack of shit. Human babies can solve those riddles. Fuck you.”
  668. >The dragon’s eyes start to tear up
  669. >”A-anon... I thought...”
  670. “Yeah whatever nobody cares. I’m collecting a Stupid Tax on your dumb ass.”
  671. >You scoop up a big armful of treasure and book it
  672. >You emerge from the cave, spilling gold jewelry and stuff everywhere
  673. >Rarity manages to nab some of it
  674. >”What’s going on, Anon?” Twilight asks
  675. >”Is he going to leave?”
  676. “I don’t know. I think I made him mad.”
  677. >Suddenly there is a horrific shriek from within the cave
  678. >And the red behemoth bursts from the entrance behind you
  679. >He blasts the group with intense flames
  680. >Everyone runs for cover behind a big boulder
  681. >Your clothes get singed
  682. >Fluttershy nearly shits herself and runs off to the side
  683. >She buries her head in the ground like an ostrich
  684. >”What in tarnation did ya do, Anon?!” Applejack screams at you
  685. >You just kind of shrug and look bored, much to everyone’s dismay
  686. >Don’t worry, Fluttershy’s gonna jump out and save the day any minute now
  687. >You peek out from behind the boulder to check on her
  688. >She still has her face in the ground
  689. >Fantastic.
  690.  
  691. >She probably just needs more time to get her act together
  692. >That’s OK you can swing that
  693. “ATTACK!”
  694. >You yell
  695. >”Hey, wait, Anon, I’m the leader!” Twilight cries
  696. >Too late
  697. >The others have already sprung into action
  698. >Applejack is bucking apples at the dragon
  699. >Rainbow Dash is kicking him in the face repeatedly and flying in circles around his head
  700. >Pinkie Pie is distracting him with noisemakers and pelting him with rubber chickens
  701. >Rarity is... stealing more treasure
  702. >God damn it Rarity
  703. >Twilight jumps into action and starts magically shielding the others from the dragon’s intermittent bursts of flame
  704. >OK, everything’s going good so far
  705. >You scan the scene to look for Fluttershy
  706. >Suddenly enormous sharp claws enclose you
  707. >And lift you up off of the ground
  708. >Fuck me
  709. >The dragon lifts you up into the air
  710. >”I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS! I TRUSTED YOU!!” he weeps
  711. >You just smile and wink at him
  712. >Startled, he blinks and just stares blankly at you
  713. >”...How dare you...!”
  714. >Fluttershy’s voice sounds like the music of angels
  715. >”HOW... DARE YOU...!”
  716. >She rises up into the air
  717. >She looks beyond pissed
  718.  
  719. >”ANON! How dare you mistreat this poor, sweet dragon!”
  720. >Wat
  721. >She alights on the dragon’s arm and rips into you
  722. >”Listen here, mister! Just because he’s big, and just because he’s scary, DOESN’T MEAN YOU GET TO BE A BULLY!”
  723. >You wince as she stares you the fuck down
  724. >It burns into your very soul
  725. >”You may be my friend, but you do NOT, I repeat, YOU DO NOT. HURT! THIS! DRAGON!!”
  726. >She gives you the evil eye
  727. >”You got that, Anon?!”
  728. >You sink down into the dragon’s palm, hoping he squishes you now
  729. >“WELL?!” she asks
  730. “But I was just trying to teach you how to face your fears...”
  731. >”And I am very sorry that you were worried about me! But you have a big heart and you know better than to manipulate this poor dragon’s feelings!”
  732. “...But... I...”
  733. >”Don’t you ‘But I’ me, mister! Now what do you have to say for yourself?”
  734. >That’s it
  735. >You can’t hold in the shame any longer
  736. >You just start fucking bawling your eyes out
  737. >You feel like a little baby
  738. >”There, there. No need to cry. You’re not a bad person. You just made a bad decision. Now apologize to this poor dragon.”
  739. “I... I... I’m sorry!”
  740. >You sob
  741. >The dragon just has this smug ass look on his face
  742. >God damn it
  743. >But he sets you down on the ground
  744. >His heart warmed by Fluttershy’s kindness
  745. >What a bro
  746. >”Now Mr. Dragon, if you would please go pack your things," Fluttershy says
  747. >"I apologize for my friend.”
  748.  
  749. >All of the ponies wave goodbye to the red dragon as he takes to the sky with his hoard of treasure
  750. >Dash immediately starts dispersing the smoke with her wings
  751. >The day is saved
  752. >But you feel awful
  753. >All you do is lean your head against a rock and mope
  754. >You glance sideways at Fluttershy, but she’s occupied with cleaning up
  755. >”She really cares about ya, Anon,” Applejack says as she approaches you
  756. “Yeah, right.”
  757. >How could she, after that utter display of douchery?
  758. >”Honest. I know for sure.”
  759. “How?”
  760. >”While you were in that cave, Fluttershy told us that she’s deathly ‘fraid of dragons.”
  761. “So...?”
  762. >”So... how much do ya gotta care about someone to go and have to get right next to something yer afraid of? Just to chew you out!” Applejack chuckles
  763. >”What’s more, she faced her fear, didn’t she?” Twilight says as she walks up to you
  764. “...Really?”
  765. >”Well, she went so far as to defend that poor dragon from you! Even though she’s terrified of dragons!”
  766. “...You’re right!”
  767. >You slump over again
  768. ”But she won’t forgive me. ...I just want to tell her that I won’t misbehave like that again.”
  769. >”Tell her yerself,” Applejack says
  770. >You look up
  771. >Here she comes
  772. >She’s... smiling
  773. >She flies up and hugs you
  774. >”Anon! Thank you!”
  775. >Huh?
  776.  
  777. >”You learned something wonderful about friendship, didn’t you, Fluttershy?” Twilight says
  778. >She nods
  779. >Twilight whips out a paper and quill from her bag
  780. >Prepared as usual to write a letter to Princess Celestia
  781. >Twilight nods for Fluttershy to continue
  782. >”Friends give you the strength you need to face your fears!” Fluttershy starts
  783. >”But pretending to be brave isn’t how you face your problems. Only by accepting your fears can you learn to face them for real!”
  784. >Well done, Fluttershy
  785. >You breathe a sigh of relief
  786. >And you hug her
  787. >”Hey!” Pinkie Pie cries
  788. “What is it, Pinkie?”
  789. >”Anon, did you really mean what you said earlier?”
  790. “About what?”
  791. >”About... about how you don’t fuck horses?!?”
  792. “HUH?”
  793. >”Now why would you be concernin’ yerself with that, Pinkie?” Applejack says, patting her on the back
  794. >”Oh, I don’t know! Hah hah hah!” She laughs nervously
  795. >Everyone laughs
  796.  
  797. The End

MLP:RtM 1-2 Friendship is Magic

by Alaric

MLP:RtM 3 The Ticket Master

by Alaric

MLP:RtM 4 Applebuck Season

by Alaric

MLPRtM: 7 Dragonshy

by Alaric