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Izzy Dorkbow (By Anon)

By afterpaste
Created: 2022-01-01 03:21:55
Updated: 2022-01-17 06:22:11
Expiry: Never
anoncomedy/flutterrape//pie/g5izzy moonbow

  1. https://desu-usergeneratedcontent.xyz/mlp/image/1640/73/1640739238326.jpg
  2.  
  3. "That's your problem right there, anon. You keep clicking on Pipp ups and it keeps crashing the mainframe. Move over, I'm gonna hack in. It's a Unilinux system, after all."
  4. >Izzy adjusts her "hacker glasses" and slams her hooves into your laptop keyboard for a few minutes
  5. >Keys go flying
  6. "They're trying to slice me, anon! Better stand back! This could get ugly!"
  7. >She continues to slam her hooves into your keyboard like a retard until half the keys have been sent flying
  8. >You hear repeated windows error messages
  9. >You watch in horror as your laptop blue screens
  10. "Ahhh horse apples! I got sliced! Sorry, anon. Those black hackers meant business!"
  11. >You stare at her in a state of shock and anger
  12. "How did you get in my FUCKING HOUSE, IZZY!?"
  13. "Oh, your door was unlocked! I heard you in here grunting and groaning and you sounded like you were in distress! Then I looked in your room and saw you furiously typing away at the keyboard, and KNEW you must've been hacked."
  14. >You groan and facepalm
  15.  
  16. "Well, now that you've HELPED ME, Izzy, I think it's time for you to go."
  17. >She looks dejected and slumps her withers
  18. "Oh..."
  19. >You start picking up your keys that went flying across the room
  20. "Look, I was kind of in the middle of something personal when you busted in."
  21. >She looks up at you and tilts her head
  22. "You mean you weren't being hacked? It sounded like you were really getting frustrated! All that groaning and-"
  23. "I WASN'T. I was, uh... Trying to install Gentoo."
  24. >She quirks an eyebrow
  25. "Anon, I'd rather you just tell me you were jerking off than make up an excuse like that."
  26. >She hops off your computer chair and trots across the room to the door
  27. >You stand there, dumbfounded
  28. "Hey, wait a sec!"
  29. >She stops
  30. "Yeeeees?"~
  31. "... If you knew what I was doing, why'd you come in here and try to 'fix' my computer?"
  32. >She puts a hoof to her chin
  33. "Well, Sunny showed me this movie once where a mare needed her computer fixed and a stallion came over and pretended to fix it, but they ended up having sex."
  34. >You blink slowly
  35. "That was a porno, Izzy."
  36. >She squints her eyes
  37. "So we're not about to have sex then?"
  38. >You are at a loss for words, and thoughts
  39. "I mean... Uh..."
  40. >She perks up
  41. "Alright, then. I'll just think of another way to get you to finally quit being such a mare and breed me! See ya later Anon! Bada da dee dut dow!"
  42. >She exits
  43. >You stand there, cock and balls dangling in the wind
  44. "What the fuck is my life?"
  45. >You bend down and pick up the 'Q' key
  46.  
  47. >The next day you're out walking through the streets of Maretime Bay
  48. >It ain't much but it's home since you've been foisted into this weird world of tennis ball textured technicolor equines
  49. >You walk over to the general store to grab some snacks
  50. >Inside you see Izzy standing across way, eagerly searching through different kinds of cheap gas station magazines
  51. >You see her grab one with a mare sprawled out on the front of it in a provocative pose
  52. "She's not... reading that in the middle of the store, is she?"
  53. >You watch her flip through a few pages and then produce a pad and pencil and begin scribbling notes
  54. "Oh no."
  55. >You turn to walk back out and you hear her call out to you
  56. "Oh! Anooon!~"
  57. >You quicken your pace
  58. "Anon wait!"
  59. >You move into a power walk
  60. >You hear the clip clop of her hooves quickly closing the distance
  61. >You slow down, accepting your fate
  62. >You can't outrun a horse
  63. >You've tried
  64. "Anon! There you are."
  65. >She trots around to the front of you with the pornographic magazine still suspended in her magical aura
  66. "Anon, I need to ask you something."
  67. >You wince and brace yourself
  68. "What is it, Izzy?"
  69. >She flips the pages open to the centerfold
  70. >It shows a unicorn mare spread eagle, fully on display
  71. "Do you like what you see?"
  72. >You try to avert your eyes, but you have to admit it does look pretty nice
  73. "Uh yeah, she looks great."
  74. >She closes the magazine
  75. "Ah hah! So you DO like unicorns."
  76. >You blink a few times
  77. "Izzy did you pay for tha-"
  78. "Thanks, anon! I'll talk to you later!"
  79. >She trots back toward the general store
  80.  
  81. >The next morning you wake up to a strange sound
  82. >You wipe your eyes and blink them open, adjusting to the dim morning light
  83. >You look around the room
  84. >The window is open
  85. "Must've been someone outside..."
  86. >You roll back over in bed and close your eyes
  87. >Just as you're drifting off you hear the noise again
  88. >One of your eyes snaps open
  89. "Is that my leaf blower?"
  90. >You sit up in bed and quickly walk over to your window
  91. "What the fuck?"
  92. >Izzy is outside in your back yard, your leaf blower being held in her magical aura
  93. >She's blowing the leaves from the little plot of land you call your yard
  94. >You try to yell over the leaf blower
  95. "IZZY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
  96. >She looks at you, waves, and just continues humming loudly to herself and blowing the leaves around
  97. "What the hell is she up to...?"
  98. >You hurriedly get dressed to see why you're getting free yard work from a unicorn
  99. >You walk out the back door and you approach cautiously
  100. >She turns and smiles and cuts the leaf blower off
  101. "Hey anon! What's up?"
  102. >You scratch your head
  103. "Hey, Izzy. I was uh... wondering if you could tell me. I didn't ask you to-"
  104. >Suddenly she turns the leaf blower on its highest setting and blasts it right at your crotch
  105. "Wha!"
  106. >You retract and turn your hips, covering your crotch
  107. "Izzy, what the hell?!"
  108. >She turns with you and keeps trying to blast your crotch with the leaf blower
  109. "IZZY! Iz- Izzy knock it- KNOCK IT OFF!"
  110. >You get caught in a strange dance of trying to dodge the blast of air
  111. >Finally she shuts it off
  112. >You're standing there on one leg covering your crotch with your hip turned
  113. "THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING, IZZY?"
  114. >She tilts her head
  115. "This isn't working for you?"
  116. >You blink your eyes slowly
  117. "What do you mean?"
  118. >You cautiously go back to a normal stance
  119. "Huh, that's weird..."
  120. >She drops the leaf blower and rubs her chin with a hoof
  121. "All the girls told me stallions love being blown.."
  122. >You sit in stunned silence for a moment, then pinch the ridge of your nose
  123. "Izzy, that's not-"
  124. "The magazine even said they liked 'blow jobs'."
  125. >You look over at the leaf blower, and then back at Izzy
  126. "Izzy, I think you might have misunderstood what a 'blowjob' is..."
  127. >She looks at the yard and gestures with a hoof
  128. "But I blew it so hard! You should be cumming right now! Unless I did it wrong, somehow..."
  129. >She trots out of your back yard slowly and toward the street, lost in thought
  130. "Izzy?"
  131. >She seems to be in her own little world as she hits the sidewalk and trots back toward town
  132. "This is getting ridiculous."

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