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[One shot]Celestia x Anon

By kqaii
Created: 2022-01-11 09:38:10
Updated: 2022-04-22 05:04:15
Expiry: Never
anoncelestiasaddeathaiefeel

  1. copied from thread:https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/17928790/#q17937324
  2.  
  3. This story was capped,you may prefer the original with images:
  4. https://desu-usergeneratedcontent.xyz/mlp/image/1422/56/1422561306626.png
  5. *The original author is Immeasurable*
  6. ---
  7.  
  8. >Celestia stared at you, smiling.
  9. >Smiling with an empty smile. Too forced. Too fake. A rare sight for her.
  10. >She’s trying so hard.
  11. >To convince not you, but herself.
  12. >The look in her eyes tells you she’s failing.
  13. “Anonymous.” She says. “It is good to see you.”
  14. >”It is good to see you as well, Tia”
  15. >She had done away with your formalities a long time ago. You two are practically best friends, after all.
  16. “I just... wanted to thank you for setting up that wonderful after-party for me. You know just what to do to brighten my day.”
  17. >You smile.
  18. >”You’re very welcome. I know those big formal events bore you. I figured something more personal would make your birthday a bit brighter.”
  19. >She nods, the same overly happy yet oh-so sad smile on her lips.
  20. “You... were right. As you usually are. You seem to have a knack for making me smile.”
  21. >You would point out that her current smile is very fake, but you can’t.
  22. >”Hey, it’s a fulltime job; giving you a big smile. I wouldn’t feel complete if I didn’t!”
  23. >Her smile falters.
  24. “You don’t say things like that.”
  25. >”Friends make friends smile.”
  26. “You don’t say things like that either...”
  27. >”Trying to guess what someone would say is difficult, isn’t it?”
  28. >She tenses.
  29. >”Especially when you care about them as much as you do. You can never quite get the personality ‘just right’ like the original, can you?”
  30. “You aren’t supposed to say that.” She whispers, her smile gone.
  31. >You shrug helplessly.
  32. “Let us start again.”
  33. >Her smile returns, just as fake as the last one.
  34.  
  35. “Anonymous.” She says. “It is good to see you.”
  36. >”It is good to see you too, Tia”
  37. “I just wanted to thank you for setting up that wonderful after-party for me. You know just what to do to brighten my day.”
  38. >”It was my pleas-“
  39. “No, no, NO!” She shouts.
  40. “WHY DON’T YOU SOUND LIKE YOU!?”
  41. >You remain silent, expression blank.
  42. >She takes a deep breath, lets it go, and the smile is back.
  43. “Anonymous.”
  44. >She trots forward, looking into your eyes.
  45. “I... want to confess something to you.”
  46. >You remain silent.
  47. “I love you.” She admits. “I’ve loved you for a long time.”
  48. >You stare back at her. She stares at you.
  49. >She has no expectant expression; only one of sadness and contemplation.
  50. “What would you say?” She whispers. “How would you react?”
  51. >Tears fall from her eyes. You cannot say or do anything, for you do not know what to do.
  52. >You finally move your mouth.
  53. >”You can ask the real Anonymous.”
  54. >She takes a shaky breath.
  55. “No I can’t.” Is all she says.
  56. >Silence reigns for several moments.
  57. >”Because I’m not here.” You say.
  58. “Yes.” She says. “Because you’re gone.”
  59.  
  60. >You both sit in silence for many moments.
  61. >”So why did you love me?” You ask.
  62. >She lets off a mirthless chuckle.
  63. “What kind of question is that?”
  64. >”A legitimate one.”
  65. “How would one answer that?” She asks. “Can you ever truly say why you love somepony?”
  66. >”Maybe.”
  67. “No, you can’t.” She says, lying down on her belly. “You can say why somepony makes you happy. You can tell all about their little quirks that make you smile. You can talk about the things they did for you. You can talk about anything and everything about a pony, but never mistake anything you’re saying for why you love somepony.”
  68. >”Why is that?”
  69. “Because I can do that for many ponies. Many throughout the ages. I can sit here, and make a very long list of qualities I like in almost every pony in the Palace. But I don’t love them, do I? Not the way I did you.”
  70. “I’ve lived for a very long time, and I’ve had almost no experience with love. I’ve seen crushes of mine come and go, as they inevitably do. I’ve never felt this way before, I stopped myself from feeling this way, because it would only lead to hurt.”
  71. >”Like now?”
  72. “Yes.” She sighs. “Like now. But they were crushes, with slightly longer compliment lists than everypony else. Anon- you were different.”
  73.  
  74. “Love, I believe, is immeasurable. I can list qualities in you that I’ve seen many times before. I can dismiss your niceness, as who isn’t nice to me in my kingdom? No matter how long your little compliment list goes on, it shouldn’t make me feel this way.”
  75. >She chokes back a sob.
  76. “Just like I didn’t ask for immortality, I didn’t ask for butterflies to fill my chest every time you did something for me, or gave me a compliment. I didn’t ask for your face to fill my thoughts. I didn’t ask for the fantasies of you and I cuddling under my sister’s moon whispering sweet nothings until we fall asleep, dreaming of each other.”
  77. >She clenched her eyes shut, tears streaming out of them.
  78. >”You never told me.” You point out. “I had been here for five years, you had loved me for four. You had plenty of time.”
  79. “I was so afraid.” She said. “Afraid of your mortality, and my immortality. I was afraid of rejection. I was afraid of the responsibility I would be throwing onto you. But over time, I was getting braver. I was waiting. Waiting for a long time to find it in myself to tell you.”
  80. >She remains quiet for many moments.
  81. “I had planned to tell you on my birthday.”
  82.  
  83. >”I had been walking down the halls with Twilight Sparkle, discussing my plan for the private after-party. A surprise, intended to give you a more intimate special evening.”
  84. >You knew this, because Twilight told Celestia.
  85. >”One of my sentences was cut off when I suddenly collapsed, leaving Twilight and many guards confused and afraid.”
  86. “I was told you didn’t suffer.” She whispered. “That you had been dead before you even hit the floor. There was a blood clot in your brain, and it popped. The doctors had no idea how long it had been there or what caused it.”
  87. >She smiled sadly.
  88. “It seems just like you, doesn’t it? Some one-in-a-million chance event strikes you with misfortune. You used to get up and laugh about it later. You used to joke about the odds of you being that unlucky.”
  89. >Silence.
  90. “You didn’t get up and laugh about it later. You didn’t miraculously come back to life at the last moment, and complain about a headache. You didn’t complain to me about the odds of a blood clot being in your brain and you not knowing about it, only to marvel at the luck that it didn’t kill you.”
  91. >Magenta eyes meet yours.
  92. “There was no goodbye. No warnings. No deathbed. Your last words were ‘I’m thinking bright pink is a bit’, having never finished the sentence. No goodbye. No chance of telling you how I feel before you leave. I don’t even remember the last thing I said to you.”
  93.  
  94. >”It’s odd though.”
  95. >She looks down. She doesn’t question what’s odd. She already knows.
  96. >”You have seen the passing of so many. Why would my death upset you?”
  97. >She remains quiet.
  98. >”So many students. So many servants. So many advisors. So many friends. You’ve seen them all pass, yet you have always moved on. How could you not?”
  99. >A pause.
  100. >”How does one measly human break you so easily?”
  101. >She shakes her head.
  102. “I’ve always shed tears at the loss of those I care about.”
  103. >”You’ve never created an illusionary projection of them before. You’ve never had the illusionary projection pretend to be the real thing, if only to fool yourself for just a few moments. You’ve never had the illusionary projection speak to you like a puppet in the saddest attempt of hiding the fact that you’re talking to yourself that anypony had probably ever seen.”
  104. >She doesn’t move.
  105. >Her horn stops glowing.
  106. >And you disappear.
  107. >Well, no you don’t.
  108. >Because you are actually Princess Celestia.
  109. >You have recently lost the love of your life, and he had no idea you had feelings for him.
  110. >You never told him how much you care.
  111. >You are Princess Celestia.
  112. >You are lost.
  113. >You are unsure if you are ever going to be found again.

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