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Anonymous 02/10/22(Thu)17:30:15 No.38199546
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"That's it. I'm sick of you two bumming around my shop!"
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>You grab some spare change and your trusty broom.
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>The reactions are immediate.
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>One of the loiterers, the very ones dozing off on the floor of your shop, balks.
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>The other, tenses up and clenches his jaw, seemingly poised to fight.
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>Most ponies would be unnerved and let the issue be.
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>Luckily you have enough experience with monsters to know not to give the human any leeway.
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>"But it's warm in here, Bonnie."
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>"Yeah, Bon. Those retarded bird niggers made it snow again."
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>Maybe he did, what with all the tribalist remarks he always says.
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>”Yeah! Dumb cloud trotters.” Lyra giggles, nudging his shoulder with a hoof.
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>And he’s got Lyra saying them too!
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>Tail lashing and nostrils flared, you tap the two trouble makers with the broom.
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>Lyra rears, and is smart enough to step back.
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>The human raises to nearly his full height, only stopped by the pony sized ceiling, and crosses his arms.
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>A sign of defiance.
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>One that quickly disappears when you jerk your neck to the side, the broom swatting the back of his knee.
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>"Sh-shit! Alright. You win, fucking grump." he growls, trying to find his balance.
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>Spitting out your weapon, you toss him a sack of bits.
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"Why don't you quit veering around the rooster, and take Lyra on a date. You've been fidgeting all morning about it."
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>"Wha- No I haven't."
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>"You kinda were, Anon."
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Anonymous 02/10/22(Thu)17:31:20 No.38199551
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>Huhh, she knew?
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"Now go on," you say, nudging the big human out of the shop, "And the next time you snatch some peppermints, I'm going to bite!"
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>A stamp punctuates your point.
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>The human grumbles, but he doesn't snap back.
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>Lyra nuzzles the side of your withers with a quiet nicker, before following him.
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>Your ears sag a bit.
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>This mare is too sweet for her own-
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>The human fastens a harness on Lyra, before sitting in a red sled behind her and tapping her side with the reins to make her trot.
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>He’s… making his date haul his lazy rump around.
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>...
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>It’s out of your hooves now.
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>Turns out, to get the human out of the round pin, you needed to give it to him straight.
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>Last week the flower sisters and you tried to sell him white roses to give to Lyra.
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>Out of all the weird convoluted human courtship rituals, that one was one that was similar.
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>He was left a stuttering mess and walked away.
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>The week before that, you sprayed him with a hose hoping he'd roll in the dirt next to Lyra to get the water off.
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>A bit forward, but it'd get the point across!
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>You learned that human winter clothes are water resistant and it rolled off him like a duck.
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>It wasn’t long ago, Anon was new in town and you were chewing him out for leaning his head on Lyra before the 8th date.
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>And they were far from dating then!
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>A buck shuts the door.
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>Next time you think you’ll leave matters of the heart to Princess Cadence.
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Anonymous 02/22/22(Tue)10:09:36 No.38255734
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>>38199551
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>A pleasant warmth spreads as your heart rate picks up, the harness pressing around your form.
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>You are Lyra Heartstrings.
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>A mare pulling a sled and, by extension, a hot date around.
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>Apparently Anon's po- people still do this to equines, evident by his blissful smile.
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>Not too dissimilar to what your tribe did to the others some centuries ago.
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>You pick up the pace to a brisk trot when the reins tap at your hind legs.
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>Said hot date, Anon, reminds you of when you first moved to Ponyville.
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>If it weren't for Bonnie you'd have probably gotten mugged or something.
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>Once or twice, you've even been mistaken for a rock.
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>...If you're honest, you're still in the dark about that one.
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>On top of that, humans seem to be less observant of things around them, and hyper focus on others.
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>Even simple concepts render themselves abstruse.
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>What with his forward facing predatory eyes, he probably doesn't even realize you can see him when you turn your head just a hair.
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>Still, even when there's a lot of things he doesn't get, whether it's culture or biology, you seem to be at the forefront of his mind.
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>It warms you to your snowpitty.
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>"Hey, Lye?"
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"Hmm?" you say with a small nicker, turning your head a little more so he knows you're looking at him, ears following not a moment later.
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>"What do ponies like to do on dates anyways?"
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Anonymous 02/22/22(Tue)10:11:43 No.38255743
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>>38255734
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"You know, hang out with friends or family and go do things together as a group. Picnics seem to be popular here."
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>His eyes widen as if something clicked behind them.
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>"Where I'm from it's usually just a one-on-one thing."
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>Weird. How do you know if your coltfriend will get along with your family and friends that way?
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>...Wait, you two have been hanging around a whole bunch since you became friends.
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>Were you human dating the whole time without realizing it?
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>If he wasn't pink to the tips of his cute rounded ears and sitting stiff as a board only today, you'd believe it.
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>He runs a hand through his mane.
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>"Should we be cal- uhh, sending out letters or something?"
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"A bit short notice, don't you think?"
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>"Sorry, Lye. I can go back and drag Bon out of her store or something."
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>You giggle at the mental image.
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"It's alright, Anon. How about we do things your way this time? Could be fun."
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>His smile reaches his eyes.
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>"Sure thing, Lye."
by Rhorse
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