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Feb 2022

By Rhorse
Created: 2022-03-15 00:20:33
Expiry: Never

  1. Anonymous 02/10/22(Thu)17:30:15 No.38199546
  2.  
  3. "That's it. I'm sick of you two bumming around my shop!"
  4. >You grab some spare change and your trusty broom.
  5. >The reactions are immediate.
  6. >One of the loiterers, the very ones dozing off on the floor of your shop, balks.
  7. >The other, tenses up and clenches his jaw, seemingly poised to fight.
  8. >Most ponies would be unnerved and let the issue be.
  9. >Luckily you have enough experience with monsters to know not to give the human any leeway.
  10. >"But it's warm in here, Bonnie."
  11. >"Yeah, Bon. Those retarded bird niggers made it snow again."
  12. >Maybe he did, what with all the tribalist remarks he always says.
  13. >”Yeah! Dumb cloud trotters.” Lyra giggles, nudging his shoulder with a hoof.
  14. >And he’s got Lyra saying them too!
  15. >Tail lashing and nostrils flared, you tap the two trouble makers with the broom.
  16. >Lyra rears, and is smart enough to step back.
  17. >The human raises to nearly his full height, only stopped by the pony sized ceiling, and crosses his arms.
  18. >A sign of defiance.
  19. >One that quickly disappears when you jerk your neck to the side, the broom swatting the back of his knee.
  20. >"Sh-shit! Alright. You win, fucking grump." he growls, trying to find his balance.
  21. >Spitting out your weapon, you toss him a sack of bits.
  22. "Why don't you quit veering around the rooster, and take Lyra on a date. You've been fidgeting all morning about it."
  23. >"Wha- No I haven't."
  24. >"You kinda were, Anon."
  25.  
  26. Anonymous 02/10/22(Thu)17:31:20 No.38199551
  27.  
  28. >Huhh, she knew?
  29. "Now go on," you say, nudging the big human out of the shop, "And the next time you snatch some peppermints, I'm going to bite!"
  30. >A stamp punctuates your point.
  31. >The human grumbles, but he doesn't snap back.
  32. >Lyra nuzzles the side of your withers with a quiet nicker, before following him.
  33. >Your ears sag a bit.
  34. >This mare is too sweet for her own-
  35. >The human fastens a harness on Lyra, before sitting in a red sled behind her and tapping her side with the reins to make her trot.
  36. >He’s… making his date haul his lazy rump around.
  37. >...
  38. >It’s out of your hooves now.
  39. >Turns out, to get the human out of the round pin, you needed to give it to him straight.
  40. >Last week the flower sisters and you tried to sell him white roses to give to Lyra.
  41. >Out of all the weird convoluted human courtship rituals, that one was one that was similar.
  42. >He was left a stuttering mess and walked away.
  43. >The week before that, you sprayed him with a hose hoping he'd roll in the dirt next to Lyra to get the water off.
  44. >A bit forward, but it'd get the point across!
  45. >You learned that human winter clothes are water resistant and it rolled off him like a duck.
  46. >It wasn’t long ago, Anon was new in town and you were chewing him out for leaning his head on Lyra before the 8th date.
  47. >And they were far from dating then!
  48. >A buck shuts the door.
  49. >Next time you think you’ll leave matters of the heart to Princess Cadence.
  50.  
  51. Anonymous 02/22/22(Tue)10:09:36 No.38255734
  52.  
  53. >>38199551
  54. >A pleasant warmth spreads as your heart rate picks up, the harness pressing around your form.
  55. >You are Lyra Heartstrings.
  56. >A mare pulling a sled and, by extension, a hot date around.
  57. >Apparently Anon's po- people still do this to equines, evident by his blissful smile.
  58. >Not too dissimilar to what your tribe did to the others some centuries ago.
  59. >You pick up the pace to a brisk trot when the reins tap at your hind legs.
  60. >Said hot date, Anon, reminds you of when you first moved to Ponyville.
  61. >If it weren't for Bonnie you'd have probably gotten mugged or something.
  62. >Once or twice, you've even been mistaken for a rock.
  63. >...If you're honest, you're still in the dark about that one.
  64. >On top of that, humans seem to be less observant of things around them, and hyper focus on others.
  65. >Even simple concepts render themselves abstruse.
  66. >What with his forward facing predatory eyes, he probably doesn't even realize you can see him when you turn your head just a hair.
  67. >Still, even when there's a lot of things he doesn't get, whether it's culture or biology, you seem to be at the forefront of his mind.
  68. >It warms you to your snowpitty.
  69. >"Hey, Lye?"
  70. "Hmm?" you say with a small nicker, turning your head a little more so he knows you're looking at him, ears following not a moment later.
  71. >"What do ponies like to do on dates anyways?"
  72.  
  73. Anonymous 02/22/22(Tue)10:11:43 No.38255743
  74.  
  75. >>38255734
  76. "You know, hang out with friends or family and go do things together as a group. Picnics seem to be popular here."
  77. >His eyes widen as if something clicked behind them.
  78. >"Where I'm from it's usually just a one-on-one thing."
  79. >Weird. How do you know if your coltfriend will get along with your family and friends that way?
  80. >...Wait, you two have been hanging around a whole bunch since you became friends.
  81. >Were you human dating the whole time without realizing it?
  82. >If he wasn't pink to the tips of his cute rounded ears and sitting stiff as a board only today, you'd believe it.
  83. >He runs a hand through his mane.
  84. >"Should we be cal- uhh, sending out letters or something?"
  85. "A bit short notice, don't you think?"
  86. >"Sorry, Lye. I can go back and drag Bon out of her store or something."
  87. >You giggle at the mental image.
  88. "It's alright, Anon. How about we do things your way this time? Could be fun."
  89. >His smile reaches his eyes.
  90. >"Sure thing, Lye."

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