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No Nose Knows Copyright Part 2

By Black516
Created: 2022-03-16 00:04:13
Expiry: Never

  1. > 17. - Ponyville Part 1 >
  2. --------------------------------------------------------------------------
  3.  
  4. Anonymous found himself swimming in a sea of splendor, much like a minnow who
  5. had wandered into a group of hungry jellyfish. The festive and lively atmosphere
  6. of the Gala had little water involved, except for the way the drinks had been
  7. diluted. All around him stood ponies of renown and poise; ponies who moved the
  8. world and who enriched it with their very presence. Large fish in a very large
  9. pond, Elegance and refinement to the highest degree swept around him, and it was
  10. clear the guests took great pride in their satin gowns, silk ties, well-trimmed
  11. and perfectly coiffed manes and feathered hats.
  12.  
  13. For a young man from Salt Lick, Anonymous felt horribly out of place. Armed with
  14. nothing more than his Celestial Crystal and his suit, he shimmied his way among
  15. and around the crowd, trying to figure out his place within it and his purpose
  16. for being there. He might as well have been invisible; no pony met his eyes or
  17. offered a word of greeting. All of the attendees were only interested in
  18. themselves and the company they were presently with. What was he supposed to do?
  19. Why was he here?
  20.  
  21. Somehow he felt his heart tug in a particular direction, and he followed the
  22. prompting for a moment until he found a opening on the floor.
  23.  
  24. It was there, on a dais that extended a good ten feet into the air, that he
  25. found the immortal and exquisite Princess of the Sun. Radiance and beauty flowed
  26. off of her in waves that mimicked her mane and tail, and he could feel serenity
  27. and balance from simply being in her presence. She stood, though there was a
  28. gilded throne behind her, and she observed the proceedings of the party with
  29. poise, grace, wisdom, and tact, but Anonymous felt an undercurrent of sorrow
  30. relentlessly pull him toward her.
  31.  
  32. Eager to see if he could assist the fair Matron of Equestria, Anon began to
  33. navigate through the crowd again. The partygoers made the task difficult for
  34. him; the closer he got to her position the more ponies stood in the way. The
  35. words they were speaking drifted by as he moved, but they were empty and hollow
  36. to him. Those closer to her were abundant in praise but lacking in substance,
  37. and though he found that irksome he doggedly pressed on.
  38.  
  39. After some effort, he reached the base of the dais and he looked up the narrow
  40. stairs to her. He saw no guards nor obstacles in between them, so he began to
  41. climb with zeal.
  42.  
  43. Halfway up, though, his resolve faltered for a moment. Was he allowed up there?
  44. What would she think of him? Would he be called impertinent, over eager? Would
  45. she cast him aside, banish him from her presence because of his naivety and
  46. insolence?
  47.  
  48. He shook the thoughts from his head and began again to climb. Come what may, he
  49. had to reach her. For some odd reason, he felt like he was the only one who
  50. could.
  51.  
  52. He was most pleased to find that Celestia not only had a smile for him once he
  53. reached her, but a soft nose boop as well. He gave her a quick bow and then
  54. beamed up at her.
  55.  
  56. “Hello, my Princess. Might I be bold enough to ask to speak with you?”
  57.  
  58. “Yes, but on one condition.”
  59.  
  60. He tilted his head and gave her a curious look.
  61.  
  62. “Don’t ever bow to me again,” she said in a kind but stern tone. “We are equals,
  63. and I expect to be treated as such.”
  64.  
  65. “Fair enough.” He chuckled. “What party is this?”
  66.  
  67. “I’m not sure, but it doesn’t really matter,” she sighed, as he moved to stand
  68. next to her. “Over the years I’ve found there’s very little difference between
  69. an Officer’s Ball, the Grand Galloping Gala, or any other formal ball you could
  70. name. All of their Balls look alike, with a minor variation here and there.”
  71.  
  72. He looked over the crowd with her. “And you never get to participate.”
  73.  
  74. “I am the Princess, so thus I am the Master of all Ceremonies. I am not a
  75. participant in the festivities; I am simply here to observe, and to be observed
  76. in return. See how they are now? They want to be near me, but they don’t want to
  77. actually know me. It’s far better for their own personal prospects to simply
  78. claim closeness. Getting to know me would require more time and effort than they
  79. want to invest.”
  80.  
  81. “But I am here,” Anon noted.
  82.  
  83. “And I am most grateful you are.” She smiled brightly again. “You are one of the
  84. few who has made the climb to me. But now that you have, will you go back down
  85. to the crowd and boast of your accomplishment?”
  86.  
  87. Anon noticed the stairway down was now unbelievably wide, and moving. All he had
  88. to do was step on the first step and he would be automatically taken to the
  89. bottom with no effort needed. He would then be in the midst of a sizeable crowd,
  90. and they seemed eager to talk to him now. Doubtless they would ask about the
  91. Princess, but he somehow knew they only wanted the information to help
  92. themselves.
  93.  
  94. “No.” His answer came quickly. “I will remain here with you. A minute in your
  95. company is better than a day with them.”
  96.  
  97. “Good answer.” She booped him again. “So, what should we talk about now?”
  98.  
  99. “How about we talk about your favorite pie?”
  100.  
  101. “Really? You want to know that?”
  102.  
  103. “I can’t bake one for you if I don’t know what it is.”
  104.  
  105. “Rhubarb pie,” she happily declared. “I don’t know when I started liking them
  106. but there’s nothing better than that.”
  107.  
  108. “And how much sugar do you have put in them?”
  109.  
  110. “Oh, only four or five cups usually.”
  111.  
  112. “You have a serious sugar issue.”
  113.  
  114. “Better than salt.”
  115.  
  116. And from behind a pillar in the back corner, Luna smiled as the two laughed.
  117. “Enjoy this dream, dear sister, and may you have many more with him like this.”
  118.  
  119. And then she quietly slipped away.
  120.  
  121.  
  122.  
  123.  
  124.  
  125. Anon awoke shortly before dawn that morning but had no idea why. He was warm and
  126. comfortably snuggled into Celestia’s silky side, and her wing was wrapped snugly
  127. over and around him so there was no reason to be up. She was breathing softly
  128. and evenly through her nose, and the soft smile on her lips indicated she was
  129. quite content as well.
  130.  
  131. He simply laid there and soaked in her warmth and serenity for a few moments,
  132. but then a question came to him. It was one that had drifted through head once
  133. or twice before, and one that many ponies before him had asked:
  134.  
  135. Was Celestia’s mane made of hair or something else?
  136.  
  137. It seemed like it was made of hair. Slowly, he reached one hand out, and he
  138. oh-so-delicately touched near her ears.
  139.  
  140. “It’s hair,” she said softly, and her sleeping smile grew bigger.
  141.  
  142. “Do you blame me for wondering?”
  143.  
  144. “It’s one of the most frequent questions I get,” she replied. “I’ve heard some
  145. pretty wild theories on what other material it might be.”
  146.  
  147. “So why does it float and wave?”
  148.  
  149. “Magic,” she succinctly stated.
  150.  
  151. “Har har.”
  152.  
  153. “Hair, hair. Seriously.” She opened her eyes and looked at him. “It takes a lot
  154. of magic to move the sun or the moon. The ethereal nature of my mane comes from
  155. the amount of magic that I possess. Luna has just as much as I do.”
  156.  
  157. “So Twilight and Cadance have less than you?”
  158.  
  159. “For now. Eventually, their power will grow and the same thing will happen, but
  160. it will take some time. Even once they cross that unknown threshold, it will
  161. take about three months or so for it to manifest in their manes.”
  162.  
  163. “Huh. That’s kinda interesting.”
  164.  
  165. A brush then floated into view, and Anon gently took it in hand.
  166.  
  167. “Would you like to help me brush it?”
  168.  
  169. “I do believe I would.” He smiled, and her wing retracted to allow him to stand.
  170. Anon then stood and began brushing near the end of her mane while Celestia
  171. closed her eyes again and sighed in contentment.
  172.  
  173. “You like this?” he asked.
  174.  
  175. “It’s relaxing.”
  176.  
  177. He kept the brushstrokes even, soft, and slow, and he found that even he felt
  178. soothed and relaxed with the motions. It only took him a few minutes to finish,
  179. but when he did he quickly put the brush aside and popped his hands onto her
  180. back in between her wings.
  181.  
  182. “What are you… oooh!” she let out a squeal of delight as he began rubbing. Both
  183. wings flared out and then lay flat on the floor as he kept going, and after a
  184. minute or so Anon snickered a little.
  185.  
  186. “You purr?”
  187.  
  188. She purred a little louder to answer his question affirmatively. “You may keep
  189. doing this for as long as you like.”
  190.  
  191. “Don’t you need to raise the sun?”
  192.  
  193. She replied with another groan of pleasure. “It can wait. Or Luna can bring it
  194. up.”
  195.  
  196. “Won’t she break out into hives?”
  197.  
  198. “Meh. She’ll live.”
  199.  
  200. Anon, however, didn’t think Luna would appreciate that very much, so he stopped
  201. and returned his hands to his sides. Celestia pouted as she pulled her wings
  202. back in, but then she booped him softly.
  203.  
  204. “That was nice, thank you. I shall name you the official royal masseuse.”
  205.  
  206. “Only for you though.”
  207.  
  208. She smiled more. “I like that. But you are right, I should raise the sun. Then
  209. we can have breakfast before you head out to Ponyville.”
  210.  
  211. “Sounds good.”
  212.  
  213.  
  214.  
  215.  
  216.  
  217. Anon breathed in deeply as the clouds dodged and rushed by him. He was in one of
  218. Celestia’s carriages but with Shining Armor and Cadence instead of her, and he
  219. felt very lonesome despite the company. He had been secretly hoping that she
  220. would drop everything and come with him, but the backlog of work just couldn’t
  221. be ignored or pushed off anymore. After today things would be closer to normal,
  222. but for now he had to go without his Celly for a bit.
  223.  
  224. “Ponyville is just up ahead, sir!” Sergeant Pokey shouted back. “We should be on
  225. the ground in just a minute or so!”
  226.  
  227. Anon had wondered what Ponyville was like, and he had tried to envision it based
  228. on what Celestia had told him about it. Now that it was within sight, he smiled.
  229.  
  230. Celestia had described it perfectly.
  231.  
  232. The buildings that made up the quaint hamlet were simple but sturdy, with timber
  233. framed walls and thatched roofs that were neat and clean. A stately town hall
  234. stood in the center of the hamlet, a windmill towards the edge of town, and a
  235. large apple orchard just on the outskirts and across the small river. The whole
  236. town looked inviting and cosy, just the kind of place he would have moved to if
  237. he hadn’t met Celestia.
  238.  
  239. The carriage touched down right next to the town hall, and a sizeable group of
  240. ponies that had gathered broke out into applause as they landed. Anon followed
  241. the Crystal Empire’s leaders lead, and he smiled and waved back as he
  242. disembarked. Twilight, Spike, and another mare with a pale, grayish-amber coat
  243. and gray mane were waiting for them near the entrance to the hall, but Anon was
  244. was a bit embarrassed to have all three of them bow to him.
  245.  
  246. “Good morning, Your Highnesses,” the last pony offered, as they arose. “I am
  247. Mayor Mare, and on behalf of the citizens of Ponyville it’s my honor to welcome
  248. you here today.”
  249.  
  250. “The pleasure is mine, Mayor,” Anon replied. “And I thank you for having me on
  251. such short notice. I’m looking forward to my visit here.”
  252.  
  253. “Princess Cadence, Prince Shining Armor, it is a pleasure to have you back as
  254. well.”
  255.  
  256. “Likewise, Mayor,” Shining replied. He then reached out, grabbed his sister, and
  257. pulled her into a hug. “And you! It’s good to see you again, LSBFF.”
  258.  
  259. “You too, BBBFF. I’m glad you and Princess Cadence came with Prince Anon, and I
  260. bet he appreciates your help.”
  261.  
  262. “We do for him what we would do for you, Twilight,” Cadence replied with a quick
  263. hug and a smile for her fellow Princess. “But, where did Anon sneak off to?”
  264.  
  265. All the ponies on stage suddenly realized Anon wasn’t there anymore. Thankfully,
  266. it only took half a second to see that he had moved down into the crowd with
  267. Spike and he was now shaking hands and offering greetings to as many ponies as
  268. he could.
  269.  
  270. “I’m sorry, Mayor,” Cadence offered. “Anonymous is still learning.”
  271.  
  272. “Not at all! I was actually hoping he’d do this. Everypony in town was eager to
  273. meet him, so this couldn’t be better.”
  274.  
  275. “Where are your friends, Twily?” Shining asked.
  276.  
  277. “They’re helping with the last little bit of marshmallow cleanup,” Twilight
  278. said.
  279.  
  280. “Do they need help?”
  281.  
  282. “Oh, no. They’re probably finished now. This was nothing compared to the
  283. plunderseed vines from a couple of weeks ago.”
  284.  
  285. “All right, if you say so.”
  286.  
  287. “Well, once Prince Anon is done with the crowd, a light luncheon has been
  288. prepared at Sugarcube Corner.” Mayor Mare added. “And then I believe Twilight
  289. had a tour of Ponyville planned for the Prince.”
  290.  
  291. “Mm-hmm!” Twilight affirmed, while pulling a scroll out of thin air with her
  292. magic. “I have an itemized and alphabetized list of all the shops and scenic
  293. stops in Ponyville. We’ll just follow the list and everything will be perfect!”
  294.  
  295. “I’m sure he’ll love that,” Shining said dryly.
  296.  
  297.  
  298.  
  299.  
  300.  
  301. “All right,” Twilight announced while producing her agenda, and Anon noticed she
  302. had the whole day marked out in five minute intervals, complete with bathroom
  303. breaks. “We’ll first go check out the local shops in town, starting with the
  304. Carousel Boutique. Rarity will be ecstatic to see you again, but you might end
  305. up leaving with a new suit.”
  306.  
  307. “I probably need it. I don’t have much of a royal wardrobe yet.”
  308.  
  309. Twilight smiled in a knowing way. “You’ll definitely get one then, and you’re
  310. going to like the way you look. I guarantee it.”
  311.  
  312. It was a short walk to the Boutique, and Anon quite liked the external design of
  313. Rarity’s shop. A small bell jingled as they walked in, and Anon began glancing
  314. around at the various articles of clothing, trying to figure out what would go
  315. well with his look without clashing against Celestia.
  316.  
  317. “Rarity!” Twilight called out. “Are you—”
  318.  
  319. “GOOD GRACIOUS DON’T LET HIM COME IN HERE! I’M NOT DECENT!”
  320.  
  321. Both princess and guest were tossed backward like leaves in a hurricane, passing
  322. through the front door and collecting a pair of guards in the process, then
  323. tumbling across the grass as the boutique door slammed shut. And from the
  324. sounds, possibly locked itself. Twice.
  325.  
  326. “Rarity!” Twilight struggled for a moment to pull her horn out of a nearby tree.
  327. “That was unwarranted!”
  328.  
  329. “The prince can’t see me yet!” echoed her voice out of the closed storefront.
  330. “Not until everything is just perfect! Now run along, Twilight, and I’ll send
  331. for you when I’m done.”
  332.  
  333. “Mares,” said Sergeant Clover Leaf in her normal breathy contrello. “Always so
  334. picky about what they wear.” The guard took a moment to brush off a tuft of
  335. grass clinging to her armor and reached down to give Anon a hoof-up from his
  336. sprawled position across the walkway.
  337.  
  338. “Oh my goodness! Are you alright, Twilight?” Fluttershy’s soft words held an
  339. amazing depth of concern for her friend.
  340.  
  341. “I’m fine,” Twilight replied while rubbing the base of her horn. “Ow.”
  342.  
  343. “Oh, good. I hate to be rude, but I need to go.”
  344.  
  345. “Do you need any help?” Anon asked, and he and Twilight fell into step next to
  346. her with a smile.
  347.  
  348. “Oh, no,” she quietly replied. “I’d hate to be a bother. Angel Bunny is just
  349. being a bit persnickety about his carrots again. He doesn’t like the ones I got
  350. yesterday.”
  351.  
  352. “A bunny that’s a picky eater?” Anon asked.
  353.  
  354. “Angel isn’t picky, he just has some… particular tastes is all. Once I get some
  355. fresh carrots everything will be fine.”
  356.  
  357. “Oh! Maybe the Prince can help then,” Twilight replied. “He used to be a chef at
  358. a gourmet restaurant.”
  359.  
  360. “Upscale,” he quickly corrected under his breath.
  361.  
  362. “Oh, that’s okay. I wouldn’t want to be a burden, and I’m sure you have lots to
  363. do today.”
  364.  
  365. “I’m pretty extra sure I could spare a minute,” Anon replied warmly. “I’d be
  366. delighted to help.”
  367.  
  368. “Oh, well, okay then,” Fluttershy said happily. “The stall is just right over
  369. there.”
  370.  
  371. Anon looked over the selection at the stand as soon as they arrived, and his
  372. smile deepened. They were quite obviously home-grown carrots, with slight zigs
  373. and zags and little specks of dirt still clinging to them, just perfect for
  374. cooking with. He began to smell, then jerked his head up and looked at
  375. Fluttershy.
  376.  
  377. “Raw carrots, right? Not cooking carrots or stewing, or even for frying?”
  378.  
  379. “Oh, yes,” said Fluttershy. “He doesn’t like them cooked.”
  380.  
  381. “Very well.” Anon dipped his head back down and began his inspection of the rows
  382. of carrots.
  383.  
  384. “Your Highness?” The stall keeper asked nervously. “Is everything—”
  385.  
  386. He politely shushed her, his eyes closed, and his nose dropped so close that it
  387. was hard to tell if he was touching the produce or not. His breathing became
  388. deep for a moment, he gave a quick snort, and then he picked out three near the
  389. back of the rack.
  390.  
  391. “These ones are the absolute best ones on the cart,” he proclaimed. He then held
  392. them out in his hand towards Fluttershy. “Here. Take a good long whiff.”
  393.  
  394. “Um, okay,” she replied with obvious confusion, and then did as she’d been
  395. asked.
  396.  
  397. “Can you smell it?” he eagerly asked.
  398.  
  399. “I smell carrots,” Fluttershy offered nervously.
  400.  
  401. “No, no. Slow down. Take a moment, clear your mind. Don’t smell the surface,
  402. smell deeper.”
  403.  
  404. “Deeper?” Twilight asked.
  405.  
  406. “Yes. A whole new world opens up when we do so. Go just a bit beyond what you
  407. smell at first, take a moment to truly savor it. Give the core of it a chance to
  408. come out, then you can tell it’s true worth and flavor. Smell them again, but
  409. this time reach with your senses. It sounds strange but try it. Close your eyes
  410. and open your mind.”
  411.  
  412. Twilight and Fluttershy gave each other a confused look but then decided to try
  413. it.
  414.  
  415. “Now, there’s a reason they use musical terms when describing food. Think of it
  416. like that: notes, chords, melodies. Don’t focus on the first notes of the
  417. carrot, smell for the background, the consonants and the countermelodies. Don’t
  418. listen to just the cello, listen for all the instruments.”
  419.  
  420. The stall keeper watched in confusion as both Fluttershy and Twilight tried to
  421. follow Anon’s instructions. It took a couple of moments, but then Fluttershy
  422. opened her eyes and smiled.
  423.  
  424. “I think I smell it,” she softly said. “It smells like rich and soft dirt.”
  425.  
  426. “The type of dirt that has been carefully tended to and is perfect for crops,”
  427. Anon added knowingly.
  428.  
  429. “I smell carrots,” Twilight said with a hint of annoyance.
  430.  
  431. “It’s going to be harder for you,” Anon replied. “You’re very analytical, and
  432. it’s not so easy for an abstract concept like this to get through to such a
  433. mind. When you listen to music, do you feel the tone and the movement of it, or
  434. do you pick out individual notes, keys, time signatures and beats? It’s the same
  435. here. You’ll need to work harder, but also let go of more.”
  436.  
  437. Twilight nodded, but she still looked a bit annoyed.
  438.  
  439. “How much for the carrots, Golden Harvest?” Fluttershy asked.
  440.  
  441. “Huh?” she replied, and she dropped the bundle of carrots she’d been sniffing.
  442. “Oh! Three bits should cover it.”
  443.  
  444. Payment was made, and then Fluttershy offered a quick thank you and
  445. goodbye-for-now as she flew back to her cottage. Twilight then summoned her
  446. list, and the two struck out once more.
  447.  
  448. “Can you really smell all that in a carrot?” she asked while they walked.
  449.  
  450. “I can, but I have practice. If you ever tried to teach me calculus I’d probably
  451. never understand, no matter how simply you explained it.”
  452.  
  453. This seemed to cheer up the Princess. “Yeah, I guess so. We all have our
  454. strengths, right?”
  455.  
  456. “Right.”
  457.  
  458. The conversation was interrupted by moaning behind them, and the group turned to
  459. see who or what was causing it. What they found was Pinkie Pie, who was green in
  460. the face and looking rather sick. Her hooves were dragging along in the dirt,
  461. her stomach looked oddly swollen, and she was being accompanied by three small
  462. fillies who looked extremely remorseful.
  463.  
  464. “Ooh.” Pinkie groaned. “So… much… marshmallow. I can’t believe I ate the whole
  465. thing.”
  466.  
  467. “You ate that?” Twilight asked in shock. “Just a minute, Anon. I need to help
  468. Pinkie.”
  469.  
  470. “Please do. I can wait.”
  471.  
  472. “Really, Pinkie, we’re super sorry about all this,” the little pegasus offered
  473. as Twilight rushed to her friend’s side.
  474.  
  475. “Yeah. We didn’t know marshmallows could do that,” the earth pony with the large
  476. bow in her mane added.
  477.  
  478. “It’s okay girls,” Pinkie replied with a weak wave of her hoof. “I just need a
  479. few minutes. Just remember that marshmallows should only be handled by -urp-
  480. properly trained and qualified ponies, okay?”
  481.  
  482. “We will,” all three replied in unison.
  483.  
  484. “Hey! Anon!”
  485.  
  486. Anon looked around and then up, and watched as Rainbow Dash landed in front of
  487. him. She looked rather irate, and the two sergeants moved to be between him and
  488. her.
  489.  
  490. “Relax, guys,” Rainbow said while folding her arms tightly. “I just want to ask
  491. Prince Anon a question.”
  492.  
  493. “It’s okay,” Anon replied, and the loyal royal guards stepped to the side but
  494. still stayed focused on Rainbow. “What’s up?”
  495.  
  496. “Why do you hate the Broncos so much?” Rainbow blurted.
  497.  
  498. That was definitely not what Anon had expected. “What?”
  499.  
  500. “Shining Armor tells me you’ve got something against the Broncos.”
  501.  
  502. “I do?”
  503.  
  504. “Yeah. He says you hate them.”
  505.  
  506. “No, I said they stink. I never said anything about hating them.”
  507.  
  508. “They don’t stink! They’re awesome! Back-to-back champions for five years in a
  509. row!”
  510.  
  511. It took Anon a moment to process that sentence, but then he snickered a little.
  512. “Yes, forty-five years ago though. They haven’t won a divisional game in
  513. thirty-eight years.”
  514.  
  515. “They’re just going through a rough patch, that’s all.”
  516.  
  517. “A thirty-eight year rough patch?” Anon asked flatly. “The original line from
  518. those years have grandchildren trying out for the team now.”
  519.  
  520. “So what? If they hadn’t lost Leading Edge last year they totally would have
  521. killed everyone! Just watch. They’re going to make some big moves and crush
  522. everypony who gets in their way.”
  523.  
  524. “If they actually do that I will gladly eat every bad word I ever said about
  525. them.” He chuckled.
  526.  
  527. “Rainbow! Hey!”
  528.  
  529. “A.J.?” Rainbow called back. Both she and Anon watched her quickly trot up to
  530. them. “What’s up?”
  531.  
  532. “Have either of you seen Apple Bloom?” she asked. “Ah need her back at the farm,
  533. pronto.”
  534.  
  535. “I think she just went by with Pinkie.”
  536.  
  537. “Dag nabbit, is she still helpin’ her? Ah got a rush order that just came in and
  538. ah gotta whole mess of apples to get harvested to fill it.”
  539.  
  540. “Where’s Big Mac?”
  541.  
  542. “Ah dunno, he’s disappeared on me too. Ah think he’s done snuck off to
  543. Cheerilee’s place again.”
  544.  
  545. “Can I help with anything?” Anon asked.
  546.  
  547. Applejack looked him over with a critical eye. “Ah dunno. You know anything
  548. ‘bout bucking apples?”
  549.  
  550. “Well, I know how to cook them,” he offered. “But if I can help out I’d like
  551. to.”
  552.  
  553. “All right. Ah suppose ah can give you a shot. Dash, can you give me a hoof as
  554. well?”
  555.  
  556. “Whatcha need?”
  557.  
  558. “Ah just need you to run the full baskets back to the wagon. If you and Anon can
  559. do that for me, this’ll be faster than Granny Smith on her laxatives.”
  560.  
  561. “You bet! I can totally do that.”
  562.  
  563. “All right. Let’s get to it!”
  564.  
  565.  
  566.  
  567.  
  568.  
  569. “You tin cans sure you don’t wanna help out too?”
  570.  
  571. “We’re here to guard the Prince, ma’am. Can’t do that if we’re harvesting,”
  572. Sergeant Hokey Pokey replied.
  573.  
  574. “Figures. All right, let’s get to it. Anon, you’re not an earth pony so I don't
  575. know hows hard this will be for ya. Every tree has a sweet spot, so all yah
  576. gotta do is find it and them apples will tumble right out and into the basket
  577. pretty as you please. Now, all you gotta do is… Anon?”
  578.  
  579. “Find the sweet spot,” he echoed, as he walked up to the nearby tree and put his
  580. hands to it.
  581.  
  582. “What in tarnation are you doin’?”
  583.  
  584. “Shh, just watch,” Rainbow said with a slight squeal of delight.
  585.  
  586. Anon caressed the bark withnhis palms, then took three steps to the left.
  587. Another round of feeling, and back half a step.
  588.  
  589. “Consarn it, we ain’t got time for this. Look, all you gotta do is…”
  590.  
  591. Anon kicked the tree with a smug smile. A full basket of apples tumbled out of
  592. the tree, pretty as he pleased, and Applejack whistled in amazement.
  593.  
  594. “Well ah’ll be a nanny goat’s aunt! How’d you do that?”
  595.  
  596. “Every tree has a sweet spot,” he repeated. “I'm pretty sure I can feel it."
  597.  
  598. “Yer gonna have to show me how you did that later. Right now, ah reckon it’s
  599. time to buck some apples!”
  600.  
  601. Between the two of them, it only took perhaps half an hour to harvest enough
  602. apples for Applejack’s order. She was faster than him by two trees to one to
  603. begin with, but after three or four trees Anon got a groove going and was barely
  604. able to keep pace with her, although he suspected it was mainly from Applejack
  605. constantly pausing to look back. By the end of it, Rainbow Dash reported hauling
  606. back fifty three bushels of apples, and the three of them stood and looked over
  607. the results of their work with pride.
  608.  
  609. “Shoot, Ah’d hire you on full-time if you wasn’t the prince,” Applejack
  610. remarked. “You got a good method goin’ there.”
  611.  
  612. “Well, thank you.” He chuckled. “Though I’m pretty sure I’ll be feeling this in
  613. the morning.”
  614.  
  615. “Ah reckon you will, but ah’m pretty sure the Princess will take care of ya.”
  616.  
  617. “She probably will,” he laughed with them.
  618.  
  619. “Say, have you ever played a game of buckball?” Rainbow asked.
  620.  
  621. “Not as part of a team, no. Just some playground games when I was younger.”
  622.  
  623. “I bet he’d be pretty good at it, A.J.”
  624.  
  625. “He’s got the legs for it, that’s for sure,” Applejack agreed. “He’d be
  626. respectable enough, ah reckon.”
  627.  
  628. “We should totally get a game going!”
  629.  
  630. “Ah think the Prince has got better things to do today, Dash. Twilight is
  631. probably wondering where he ran off to.”
  632.  
  633. And right on cue, Twilight teleported right in front of them in a massive
  634. explosion, instead of her usual pop. “Have either of you seen Prince Anon?” she
  635. hurriedly and worriedly asked. “I lost him back in Ponyville and I can’t find
  636. him anywhere.”
  637.  
  638. “He’s right here, Twilight,” Applejack replied. “He was kind enough to… help…”
  639.  
  640. It was right then that both Applejack and Rainbow Dash noticed he was, in fact,
  641. not there. Both of them glanced around, and then Rainbow Dash went airborne as
  642. Applejack scratched her head.
  643.  
  644. “Well he was here,” she remarked. “Ah wonder how he slipped out on us. Looks
  645. like his tin cans took off with him too.”
  646.  
  647. “Well, that makes me feel a little better but we still gotta find him.”
  648.  
  649. “Calm down, sugarcube. Ah’m sure he’s just fine.”
  650.  
  651. Twilight went nose-to-nose with the farmer. “Do you want to be the one to tell
  652. Princess Celestia her husband is missing?”
  653.  
  654. “Heh, well, when you put it that way… ah’ll go check the south forty right
  655. quick.” > 18. - Ponyville Part 2 >
  656. --------------------------------------------------------------------------
  657.  
  658. Anonymous couldn’t suppress his cheesy grin, even if he had tried. “You know, if
  659. you wanted some quality time together, I could have made room for you in my
  660. schedule. You didn’t have to kidnap me.”
  661.  
  662. “Yes I did,” Celestia replied, as she nuzzled her Anon. “I missed you.”
  663.  
  664. “I missed you too, and I’m glad you’re here. Your protégée is going to worry
  665. though,” he whispered into her ear.
  666.  
  667. “Not for long. I told Spike, Shining, Cadence and the Mayor I wanted to take you
  668. on a quick field trip. Once she meets up with one of them, it’ll be sorted out.”
  669.  
  670. “I still think she’s going to pop in on us and chew you out.”
  671.  
  672. “There is a good possibility of that.” Celestia withdrew far enough to look into
  673. Anon’s eyes, but no further.
  674.  
  675. “And how did my captive princess escape from her tower of imprisonment?”
  676.  
  677. She waggled her wings. “I flew, silly. These aren’t just for looks.”
  678.  
  679. “Did you seriously just up and take off?” Anon had to laugh with Celestia’s
  680. earnest nod.
  681.  
  682. “Seriously. I couldn’t stay focused in Canterlot. Every time I got started on a
  683. project my mind would drift to you. I just cancelled everything and then told
  684. Wysteria to send my guards to Ponyville as I flew away.”
  685.  
  686. “You are going to be in so much trouble,” he chided playfully.
  687.  
  688. “I don’t care,” she replied with a giggle. “What can they do? I am a Princess
  689. after all. I even brought our chaperones,” she added with a pointed wingtip
  690. towards Sergeants Clover Leaf and Hokey Pokey.
  691.  
  692. “Somepony will set Luna on your trail is what they’ll do. Where are we, anyway?”
  693. he asked, as he looked at the ruins around them.
  694.  
  695. “This is my old home, Anon. The Castle of The Two Sisters.”
  696.  
  697. Anon’s breath instantly stilled to a hushed awe, and his eyes went wide. This
  698. was a hallowed place, one that everyone in Equestria spoke of in the most
  699. reverent of tones from the moment they learned how to walk. He’d seen sketches
  700. and old photographs in school, of course, but it was now obvious that those had
  701. only captured a fraction of the true majesty and devastation before him.
  702.  
  703. “Sergeants, could you stay here for a moment?” Celestia asked, and they both
  704. nodded. “Thank you. Come with me, Anon. I want to show you some things within.”
  705.  
  706. He nodded and followed as they entered through the remains of the old main
  707. doors. Sunlight filtered in through the holes in the roof, and Anon had to watch
  708. his step as he maneuvered around various fallen stones and debris.
  709.  
  710. “I can’t even recall the last time I was here,” Celestia remarked as she slowed
  711. and looked around the hallway. “I used to come every year to remember; a sort of
  712. pilgrimage if you will. It grew to be too much, after long enough. My heart
  713. couldn’t take the pain I felt at losing my sister. I finally had to stop or else
  714. I risked succumbing to a very crushing depression.”
  715.  
  716. “I can’t even imagine,” Anon replied reverently as they walked into a foyer.
  717.  
  718. Celestia sighed deeply. “There are times when this day has haunted my dreams for
  719. weeks. I’ve lived and relived the events thousands of times. So much was lost
  720. here, and all because of my blindness.”
  721.  
  722. He then turned and followed her into a large round room. The remains of a
  723. shattered stained-glass window was at the far end, along with two smashed and
  724. crumbling thrones that were weathered and worn. Scorch marks and potholes
  725. littered the floor, and Anon took it all in with profound and silent respect.
  726.  
  727. “Here,” Celestia said, as she slowed to a stop. “Right here. This is where I was
  728. when I watched my sister give in to the Nightmare.”
  729.  
  730. Anon could hear the pain of those ancient anguished words as if they had soaked
  731. into the ancient stones of this place and continued to reverberate through the
  732. centuries.
  733.  
  734. “Luna! I will not fight you! You must lower the moon, it is your duty!”
  735.  
  736. “And see, right there?” Celestia pointed with a hoof. “That was the statue that
  737. housed the Elements of Harmony.”
  738.  
  739. Anon quietly walked up and then put a hand gently on the towering structure.
  740.  
  741. “Luna? I am… Nightmare Moon! I have but one royal duty now: to destroy you!”
  742.  
  743. He exhaled slowly. The air of both history and destiny was thick enough to chew.
  744.  
  745. “That was the last time the Elements answered my call,” Celestia continued. “I
  746. can’t say for sure why, but I think they somehow realized that Luna had fallen.
  747. Perhaps they were touched by my sister’s troubled heart? I wish I knew. They
  748. turned to stone after that, lifeless, cold, and devoid of their former power. I
  749. kept them here, in their appointed place, and I waited. I was convinced that
  750. they could be used to reclaim Luna, once they could renew themselves. I hoped
  751. and I watched for weeks at a time, but as those weeks quickly changed into
  752. months, then to years, my hope decayed and dwindled until it finally died
  753. entirely. I came to realize that my most earnest wish would go unfulfilled. I
  754. had to live with myself and with what I’d done. That kind of power was never
  755. meant to be used by one pony alone.”
  756.  
  757. Anon looked around the room. “Celly, I don’t… I don’t even…”
  758.  
  759. “You see why I had to stop coming, yes?” She let out a grim chuckle that held no
  760. joy. “There was so much I missed out on, so much I could have done differently.”
  761.  
  762. Anon turned to her and found his notebook floating in her magic before him. He
  763. gently took it, and saw it was open to his How to Woo Celestia page. She had
  764. added another item in her column:
  765.  
  766. Love me despite my failures.
  767.  
  768. “Celly, I…”
  769.  
  770. “Your father is not the only one who has had to live with the consequences of
  771. arrogance. Luna tried to tell me. I had some warning as to what would happen,
  772. but I did nothing. I couldn’t believe it. I had the endless praise of my ponies,
  773. surely Luna did as well! She was just ungrateful, or was a glory hog. I passed
  774. off her concerns as those of a pony who just wanted more, ever more. Even as I
  775. watched her fall into corruption before my eyes, I believed it all to be a show
  776. to gain attention. I didn’t take it seriously until it was far too late.
  777.  
  778. “Anon, when you rejected the divorce papers and told me you wanted to try to
  779. make our relationship work, I knew I had to bring you here. I have been worried
  780. that you fell in love with the Perfect Princess of the Sun, the Celestia who
  781. leads graciously and rules in peace. You must understand that I have and will
  782. continue to make mistakes. Some of them have been quite egregious, but the worst
  783. mistake I have ever made was ignoring a problem which nearly cost my sister,
  784. forever.”
  785.  
  786. Anon thought for a moment. “Do you fear this will happen to us?”
  787.  
  788. “I fear that as you learn about the true me—as you discover all the parts that
  789. don’t fit the perfect princess persona—that you will become disgusted by what
  790. you find and walk away. There has been darkness in my past, and you will come
  791. face-to-face with it sooner or later.”
  792.  
  793. “I don’t think I will walk away.” He smiled, and he sat so he could hold her
  794. hooves in his hands. “Shadows can’t exist in total darkness, after all. They
  795. need light, until they cease to be with the full power of the midday sun. You
  796. were a sun rising then, but now you are the sun shining forth with majesty.”
  797.  
  798. He then moved in to touch her nose gently against her neck. “And while I mean no
  799. disrespect to your sister, I think the love we have is of the type that you
  800. don’t want to lose.”
  801.  
  802. “I don’t,” she whispered, her voice heavy with emotion. “But what if my true
  803. self is unforgivable in your eyes?”
  804.  
  805. “I love you, Celestia,” he whispered back, and his heart skipped with her
  806. fluttering breath. “And I also trust that, no matter what the outcome was, the
  807. decisions you made in your life were generally meant to be good, especially
  808. after what happened here. We all make mistakes, and I am more than willing to be
  809. forgiving of yours. I hope you will be forgiving of mine, too.”
  810.  
  811. “I’m pretty extra sure I can be,” she replied, and they both laughed a little as
  812. they pulled back to look at each other.
  813.  
  814. “You know, I also love how warm and expressive your eyes are,” Anon remarked,
  815. and Celestia blushed a bit. “They get so dark when you’re feeling low, and they
  816. sparkle when you laugh, almost like… lilacs in the spring.”
  817.  
  818. “They do, hm?” she asked. “I hated the color as a filly.”
  819.  
  820. “No, they’re…” he leaned in, “…they’re just…” his lips puckered, and so did
  821. hers, “perfect…”
  822.  
  823. A loud bang and a bright flash of lavender both interrupted and killed the
  824. moment, and Anon found he had recoiled a few feet backwards out of shock.
  825.  
  826. “AH HA!” Twilight shouted. “I found you!”
  827.  
  828. “Why, good afternoon, Twilight!” Celestia looked at her student with impeccable
  829. calm, which was a far cry from Anon, who was clutching his chest and
  830. hyperventilating slightly at Twilight’s abrupt arrival.
  831.  
  832. “Good afternoon, Princess,” Twilight called over her shoulder in her mentor’s
  833. general direction while she marched up and confronted Anon. “Look, you can’t
  834. just disappear like that! I’ve torn apart half of Ponyville looking for you! I’m
  835. responsible for your safety while you’re here, and I can’t do that if you run
  836. off on me! If you wanted to see the old castle that’s fine, and we could have
  837. made arrangements to wait until the Princess got here, but you’ve got to tell me
  838. these things so I can plan appropriately.”
  839.  
  840. “Twilight,” Celestia flatly said.
  841.  
  842. “Now, since you’re still new to being a royal I’ll let it slide, but I expect
  843. you to be more professional next time.” A quill and scroll appeared in front of
  844. her out of nowhere, and her magic began scribbling as she continued. “Thus, for
  845. all future visits I will need you to submit an itemized itinerary, complete with
  846. your arrival day and time, time and date of departure, and if you are travelling
  847. with or without Celestia.”
  848.  
  849. “Twwwiiiillliigghhttt…” Celestia tried to call out to her.
  850.  
  851. “I will need a list of all intended and requested stops and scenic locales you
  852. wish to frequent, and how long you intend to stay at each place. I can then
  853. coordinate with the shop owners and the other local ponies to keep everything on
  854. schedule, and…”
  855.  
  856. “Twilight, what is the square root of a negative number?”
  857.  
  858. Old habits kicked in quickly for Twilight Sparkle, and instantly she stopped
  859. talking so her brain had full power to calculate the equation her teacher had
  860. given her. Anon could have sworn he heard the crunch of mismatched gears
  861. grinding as Twilight’s eyes unfocused for a moment.
  862.  
  863. “There isn’t one. It’s an imaginary number,” she replied by rote. Her eyes then
  864. snapped back to normal. “Wait. What? What’d I do?”
  865.  
  866. “Anon didn’t know I was coming today. He was under the impression I would be in
  867. Canterlot, catching up on work. I ambushed and foalnapped him.”
  868.  
  869. “You stole him?!”
  870.  
  871. Celestia shrugged. “More or less. Is that a problem?”
  872.  
  873. “Well, no. I guess not. He is your husband. This is just very unexpected.”
  874.  
  875. “I can be spontaneous at times,” Celestia replied, but then she laughed. “Don’t
  876. you remember that game of snooker I played against your mother and father, and—”
  877.  
  878. “YES! Ha-ha,” Twilight nervously cut in. “Yes, I remember. I wish I didn’t, but
  879. I do. So, since this was all an honest mistake, may I ask why you came here?”
  880.  
  881. “I wanted to show Anon what he married into. It is crucial he understands the
  882. history of what happened here.”
  883.  
  884. “Oh.”
  885.  
  886. “You know, it would be nice if somepony could tidy things up,” Celestia casually
  887. remarked. “Now that Luna is free of the Nightmare I think I might come back to
  888. visit from time to time.”
  889.  
  890. “Really? You might come back?” Twilight asked, as they turned to leave the room.
  891.  
  892. “Perhaps. But if I do I will submit an itemized itinerary for your review.”
  893.  
  894. “Oh! Heh heh…” Twilight rubbed the back of her head in embarrassment.
  895.  
  896. “Would it be possible to make a quick stop at the Tree of Harmony, Twilight?”
  897.  
  898. “Of course!” she smiled. “Not a problem at all!”
  899.  
  900. “Tree of Harmony?” Anon asked. “What is that?”
  901.  
  902.  
  903.  
  904.  
  905.  
  906. Anon couldn’t find the words.
  907.  
  908. It was a hundred times—no, a thousand times worse than when he had struggled to
  909. describe the sunflowers. The Tree of Harmony was just beyond his vocabulary.
  910.  
  911. Transcendent was about as close as he could ever get.
  912.  
  913. Though the visual sight of it was majestic enough, it was the the feel of it
  914. that was making the deepest impression. It was like he was awash in eternity,
  915. destiny, and harmony all at once, and that confluence of essence then flowed out
  916. to influence the lives of all creatures, wherever they may be.
  917.  
  918. “Have you made any progress with the keys?” Celestia asked as she looked the
  919. chest over.
  920.  
  921. “Not yet,” Twilight replied. “I’m actually really baffled.”
  922.  
  923. “Well, all we can do is trust in Harmony. The answers will be revealed to us, in
  924. time.”
  925.  
  926. “So, how vulnerable are we without the Elements?” Anon asked.
  927.  
  928. “That is, sadly, a question we can’t fully answer.” Celestia walked over to the
  929. tree and looked up into the tangled crystal branches where the six Elements of
  930. Harmony glittered like colorful fruit. “But I know the Princesses of this
  931. Kingdom will do everything they can should something arise, Elements or not. We
  932. are not totally helpless without them.”
  933.  
  934. Celestia paused, then slipped one golden shoe from her hoof before gently
  935. placing it on her symbol on the tree. Her eyes closed, and for a moment Anon
  936. wondered if she had stopped breathing.
  937.  
  938. He then walked up and placed his hand on her hoof. It was a simple gesture, but
  939. he somehow felt like, in so doing, he had made their relationship all the more
  940. real.
  941.  
  942. It was an odd but yet wonderful feeling, and he hoped he might feel it more with
  943. her. In fact, it matched the feather-like touch of something else deep within
  944. the tree that seemed as if it too approved of their pairing, and was looking
  945. forward to seeing what kind of fruit they would bear in turn.
  946.  
  947. Lifting her hoof off the tree, Celestia looked down at Anon and smiled just as
  948. brightly as the sunshine glittering through the crystal tree above them. He
  949. returned it in kind, she nuzzled him quickly, and then they both turned back to
  950. Twilight.
  951.  
  952. “We should probably return to Ponyville now. Do you think I might be able to
  953. share a quick tea break with you and your friends before the party? I would like
  954. to see how they are all doing.”
  955.  
  956. Twilight couldn’t be any happier. “Of course, Princess! We can meet at the
  957. library if you’d like.”
  958.  
  959. “That sounds wonderful, thank you.”
  960.  
  961. Anon gave one last glance to the Tree before he left, but what he then saw made
  962. him pause for a moment. Somehow, Celestia’s symbol on the trunk of the tree had
  963. changed while they weren’t looking, and the new engraving seemed oddly familiar.
  964. Celestia’s stylized sun remained, but now there was a book on top of it, an open
  965. book with words that he couldn’t read.
  966.  
  967. He glanced back up, and then he blinked. A glint of light had caught his
  968. attention, forcing him to look back up at the tree where Celestia’s symbol
  969. remained completely unchanged from the first time he had seen it. He blinked
  970. several times, then shook his head before turning to follow Celestia out of the
  971. beautiful cave. It was probably a trick of the light, or his own tangled
  972. thoughts playing tricks with his eyes.
  973.  
  974. Still, he took one last look back before they started on their trip back to
  975. Ponyville, just to make sure.
  976.  
  977. Stranger things had happened, after all.
  978.  
  979.  
  980.  
  981.  
  982.  
  983. “I do hope you can forgive my little outburst from this morning, your Highness,”
  984. Rarity said with a nervous chuckle, and she smoothed out a non-existent wrinkle
  985. from her breezy green summer dress.
  986.  
  987. “Call me Anon,” he replied cheerfully. “And I already have.”
  988.  
  989. “That is most kind of you,” Rarity replied with a smile.
  990.  
  991. “So, how is business for you?” he asked while shifting slightly on his cushion.
  992.  
  993. “A bit slow to be honest, darling, but it’ll pick up again soon. I have several
  994. fall fashion shows that I’ll be participating in, and that always drums up
  995. interest.”
  996.  
  997. “That’s good to hear.” Anon took the offered teacup from Twilight with a smile
  998. and a quick sip. “Have you ever thought of expanding, maybe opening a second
  999. store?”
  1000.  
  1001. “I would love to, but there are some details to take care of before I could do
  1002. that. Though, if I did, I suppose Canterlot would be a good place to start.”
  1003.  
  1004. “Either there or Manehattan. Canterlot might be more expensive in rent but I’m
  1005. not sure how their tax rates compare.”
  1006.  
  1007. “That does make a difference. But I do believe Canterlot would have more of the
  1008. clientele that I’m after. At the very least I have more name recognition in the
  1009. capitol.”
  1010.  
  1011. “Well, if you do open up there, I will give you my official royal seal of
  1012. approval and send everyone I know to you.”
  1013.  
  1014. “Why, that would be fabulous, darling!” Rarity positively beamed.
  1015.  
  1016. “Hey, Anon!” Rainbow shouted from the other side of the library. “What kind of
  1017. tea is this?” She then leaned over and nudged Pinkie Pie, who looked much
  1018. improved from earlier. “Watch this. His nose is, like, freakishly awesome.”
  1019.  
  1020. Anon frowned. “I don’t know what kind of tea this is.”
  1021.  
  1022. “What? How could you not know? Just smell it.”
  1023.  
  1024. Anon sighed, then dipped down close to the cup. Whatever it was, it wasn’t
  1025. anything he was remotely familiar with. His parents had always drank smooth,
  1026. relaxing herbal teas, and whatever this was definitely had more energy to it. He
  1027. too a deep whiff, then a quick taste.
  1028.  
  1029. “Well?” Rainbow asked immediately.
  1030.  
  1031. Anon fought hard not to gag. “I still don’t know,” he managed to get out. “I’ve
  1032. never had this type of tea before.”
  1033.  
  1034. “What?! You’re pullin’ my tail. I saw you sniff out those carrots with
  1035. Fluttershy and the apple trees with A.J.”
  1036.  
  1037. “Food and beverages are two different things,” he replied defensively. “I’ve
  1038. never been able to tell one tea from another. They all smell pretty much the
  1039. same to me.”
  1040.  
  1041. “Well that’s lame.”
  1042.  
  1043. Rainbow Dash then found herself at the receiving end of one of Celestia’s
  1044. patented glares, and the colorful mare chuckled nervously as one of Celestia’s
  1045. eyebrows slid upwards to emphasize her displeasure. “Uh, I mean…”
  1046.  
  1047. “Everyone’s talents manifest in different ways,” Celestia said in a kind but
  1048. stern tone. “There is nothing wrong with only being able to distinguish the
  1049. differences in food. Is Fluttershy ‘lame’ because she does not fly as fast as
  1050. you? It is the same ability after all.”
  1051.  
  1052. “Of course not! Fluttershy’s flying is perfect!”
  1053.  
  1054. “And so is Anon’s delightful nose.” She displayed her preference by giving said
  1055. nose a brief kiss, as well as a quick lick to collect the last few drips of tea
  1056. still on the stubble hairs of his upper lip. “See? He’s delicious,” she added
  1057. while Anon spluttered.
  1058.  
  1059. “To be fair, I have personally wondered why I’m only good with food,” Anon
  1060. offered. “I probably need to study my beverages more.”
  1061.  
  1062. “Just be very careful about disparaging others talents and abilities,” Celestia
  1063. concluded.
  1064.  
  1065. “I will,” Rainbow said morosely.
  1066.  
  1067. “So, since we’re all here,” Twilight cut in now. “I wanted to ask and see if
  1068. anypony has had any ideas about the chest at the Tree of Harmony?”
  1069.  
  1070. The reply from all was scattered head shaking and murmurs of no.
  1071.  
  1072. “Well, keep your eyes open. You never know where we might find those keys.”
  1073.  
  1074. Anon stuck a hoof in the air. “Have you maybe considered keeping a journal?”
  1075.  
  1076. “A journal?”
  1077.  
  1078. “Yeah. When my family tries to come up with new recipes, we would keep a record
  1079. of things that we thought might be inspiring, like if the smell of bread baking
  1080. gave us any thoughts, or if we were travelling somewhere and saw something that
  1081. looked delicious. Maybe if you each kept a record of your friendship lessons,
  1082. you could get some inspiration that way. Then, you could share what you’ve seen
  1083. with one another, and one of you might see something that was missed. Two sets
  1084. of eyes on an event kinda thing, right?”
  1085.  
  1086. “It would give me a series of data points to correlate,” Twilight mused.
  1087.  
  1088. “And writing down your friendship lessons has given you a lot of insights in the
  1089. past, right?”
  1090.  
  1091. “Yes, it has. What do you think, girls? I personally think It’s not a bad idea.”
  1092.  
  1093. “It’d help to keep us on the lookout during the day, too,” Applejack stated.
  1094. “Ah’d be more observant of what’s goin’ on around me if ah know ah’ll be writing
  1095. it down.”
  1096.  
  1097. The other five then agreed that keeping journals was, at the very least, a good
  1098. start and better than sitting around and guessing. Twilight agreed to keep the
  1099. journal collection in the library, but in a place where the girls could get to
  1100. it whenever they wanted, and then all six thanked Anon for the idea.
  1101.  
  1102. He humbly took the thanks, and then he simply sat back and listened as the
  1103. Ponyville friends began chatting about their previous adventures with each other
  1104. and with Celestia. He had, of course, read about some of their adventures in the
  1105. newspaper back home, but he was interested and quite amazed to hear the smaller
  1106. stories, like how Applejack and Rainbow Dash had lost a ‘Running of The Leaves’
  1107. race to Twilight (and she had come in 5th place herself), or how Pinkie Pie had
  1108. managed to create “at least a hundred dozen copies” of herself in something
  1109. called a Mirror Pool, if Rainbow’s story was to be believed. He was amazed they
  1110. had been through so much together, and at how strong the bonds of friendship
  1111. were between them. It wasn’t hard to see how they had managed to rally together
  1112. every time Equestria had needed them.
  1113.  
  1114. After perhaps an hour or so of this, Spike entered the library darted into the
  1115. room with a quick greeting to everypony, and then he whispered something in
  1116. Pinkie Pie’s ear. As soon as he did so, Pinkie grew a gigantic smile, but when
  1117. the secret exchange was over Pinkie shooed him back outside quickly.
  1118.  
  1119. “Prince Anon?” she then said. “Could you come over here?”
  1120.  
  1121. He did so with a wary smile, but he felt his excitement inexplicably growing
  1122. while the other mares in the room surrounded him by the main door.
  1123.  
  1124. “Prince Anon,” Pinkie grandly announced, “it is now high time for…”
  1125.  
  1126. “A PRINCE PARTY!” The Element Bearers all shouted at once. Pinkie then threw
  1127. open the front door, and a large cheer broke out from the crowd that was
  1128. assembled outside.
  1129.  
  1130. “C’mon!” Pinkie shouted, as she grabbed his hoof and dragged him outside. “It’s
  1131. time to par-tay!”
  1132.  
  1133.  
  1134.  
  1135.  
  1136.  
  1137. Pinkie Pie was truly a master party planner.
  1138.  
  1139. Anon smiled as he looked over the ponies on the dance floor. The party had been
  1140. so wonderful that he didn’t really want it to end. He had been worried that
  1141. Pinkie would go all out and over-the-top, with his face on large poster boards
  1142. and everything being human-related somehow. Instead, it was much more like a
  1143. simple birthday party. There were plenty of cupcakes and pies and ice cream to
  1144. sample.
  1145.  
  1146. There were also plenty of games for ponies to play, with things running from a
  1147. ring toss and a dunk-the-Mayor tank to Sister Says and tag. The ‘Round With The
  1148. Prince’ game she had mentioned the other day had actually turned out to be a fun
  1149. contest to see who could sink a putt from a further distance on a miniature golf
  1150. green, and he had loved the ‘Guess What is In The Box’ game as well. Upbeat
  1151. music provided by the local D.J. played in the background, and the yellow
  1152. balloons scattered about made the whole thing complete. Celestia had happily
  1153. joined in the festivities, and she even managed to win a small stuffed bear from
  1154. the ring toss game, much to everypony’s delight.
  1155.  
  1156. At dusk, everything had been put on hold to allow Celestia to lower the sun.
  1157. There was a respectful reverence as it slid behind Canterlot Mountain, but then
  1158. there was a large shout and cheer of joy when Luna’s moon drifted upward.
  1159.  
  1160. He secretly hoped Luna had heard it.
  1161.  
  1162. Once done, it was time to dance under the stars. Anon was initially hesitant to
  1163. join in, since he had no idea how to properly dance. However, once he saw
  1164. Twilight’s own ‘interpretive effort,’ he decided to simply cut loose and to copy
  1165. Twilight’s unique—if not a little back-breaking—style. Once that happened,
  1166. everypony else simply joined in with their own interpretative dances as well,
  1167. and Anon felt like the fun had been doubled, at least.
  1168.  
  1169. However, the hour was growing late and he had spied his wife yawning daintily
  1170. behind a hoof once or twice in the last few moments. He knew there was no way
  1171. either of them were going to escape a wagon load of work tomorrow, and so he
  1172. took a little initiative and summoned Pinkie Pie over.
  1173.  
  1174. She was somewhat sad at first after he explained it was time for them to leave,
  1175. but she had also understood and nodded in agreement. She then quickly made her
  1176. way over to the D.J.—her name was Vinyl Scratch, wasn’t it?—and lifted one
  1177. headphone off of her ear to speak to her. A nod and then a microphone was given
  1178. to Pinkie, and the music came to a stop so she could explain.
  1179.  
  1180. “Hey everypony! Are we having a good time?”
  1181.  
  1182. “Yeah!” The crowd roared back.
  1183.  
  1184. “I said, ARE WE HAVING A GOOD TIME?!”
  1185.  
  1186. “YEAH!”
  1187.  
  1188. Pinkie giggled and snorted once. “I think this has been the bestest ‘New Prince
  1189. in Equestria’ party since the one we had for Shining Armor, am I right?”
  1190.  
  1191. “That was our wedding reception, you hijacker!” Shining shouted.
  1192.  
  1193. “Potato, potahto,” she replied, and everyone laughed. “Sadly, though, the Prince
  1194. and Princess need to leave. I know!” She added over the sad groans. “I don’t
  1195. want them to go either, but they have a kingdom to run. So, even though they
  1196. insist we keep the party going for as long as we want, we’re going to have the
  1197. last dance now for them and then let them go. Scratch? A little soul if you
  1198. please.”
  1199.  
  1200. Anon stood and dipped his head towards Celestia as soft and slow music began to
  1201. play. “May I have this dance, my fair princess?”
  1202.  
  1203. “I would be delighted to,” she replied cheerfully. He offered a hand and she
  1204. gladly took it, and the crowd parted to allow both sets of Royals to the middle
  1205. of the floor.
  1206.  
  1207. “You’re going to have to give me some dancing lessons, too,” he remarked. “All I
  1208. can do is shuffle my feet.”
  1209.  
  1210. “Sometimes that’s all you need to do,” she softly replied, and he smiled as she
  1211. nuzzled him and then rested her head on his shoulder.
  1212.  
  1213. “Did you ever regret becoming the Princess?” he gently asked while they moved
  1214. with the other dancers.
  1215.  
  1216. “Regret?”
  1217.  
  1218. “Yeah. Did you ever say to yourself, ‘Self, I wish I had just left well enough
  1219. alone and remained a unicorn?’”
  1220.  
  1221. “No. If I had, we’d be under fifty feet of ice and snow.”
  1222.  
  1223. “Okay, bad example. Let me rephrase the question. Did you ever want to be a
  1224. commoner, provided everything else in the kingdom was taken care of?”
  1225.  
  1226. “Did I ever want to step away,” she offered. “Leave it all, be just a normal
  1227. pony, with normal problems and regular dreams and—”
  1228.  
  1229. He waited for a moment.
  1230.  
  1231. “—and to possibly find my own special somepony. Well, the simple answer is no.”
  1232.  
  1233. “Really?”
  1234.  
  1235. “I never wished to give up the lot I was given. We may not have a choice on the
  1236. role we play on the stage of life, but we can choose how we perform as the
  1237. actors. There are some scenes I would redo but, on the whole, I am pleased and
  1238. grateful for what I have.
  1239.  
  1240. “But I have contemplated how things would have been if I had not been a
  1241. Princess. I’ve mused about the things I might have done, or the employment I
  1242. might have had. I did, once or twice, wonder if I might have found a special
  1243. somepony in that life.”
  1244.  
  1245. She then moved in closer to his ear. “If I had changed any of the details of my
  1246. life, I might not have ever found you, and that, my dear Anon, would have been
  1247. the greatest tragedy I would have never known. My lot has now led me to you, and
  1248. you to me. It is irrelevant to me if I found you by fate, destiny, or sheer dumb
  1249. luck. What matters is that I did find you.”
  1250.  
  1251. “And despite everything, you want to keep me,” he whispered back. “That is the
  1252. most incredible part of all this to me. Of all the potential suitors, you hold
  1253. me dear.”
  1254.  
  1255. “Ask Cadence sometime about the unpredictability of love.” She chuckled. “It is
  1256. true that there are a thousand other ways I could have fallen for a thousand
  1257. other people, but from here and forever more, I will want you.”
  1258.  
  1259. His whole body shivered with delight as he heard that sentence. “Then I do
  1260. believe I shall stay for quite some time. I have found in you something I don’t
  1261. think I could ever find anywhere else.”
  1262.  
  1263. “You had better stay,” she replied with a playful nip to his ear. “Someone has
  1264. to help me torment Luna.”
  1265.  
  1266. “We shall be relentless and unstoppable then! Torments untold for the sister!”
  1267. They laughed together while swirling around one more time on the dance floor
  1268. before their return to Canterlot. > 19. - 20,000 Leagues >
  1269. --------------------------------------------------------------------------
  1270.  
  1271. “Anon?” Celestia’s delectable voice drifted into one of Anon’s ears.
  1272.  
  1273. He replied with a blissful grunt and a quick wiggle into her warm shoulder.
  1274.  
  1275. “A-n-on?” Her dulcet call came with a gentle nibble at the base of his ears.
  1276.  
  1277. “Muh! Guhwai,” he replied with an ill-hidden smirk.
  1278.  
  1279. “Are you sure you want me to do that?” she whispered.
  1280.  
  1281. “Nuh uh. Stay. Cozy.”
  1282.  
  1283. He then wiggled so that more of him was pressed up against her, and she replied
  1284. with a playful giggle. The wing that had been covering him began to stroke his
  1285. back, and he let out a full smile and a grunt that any primitive caveman would
  1286. have been proud of.
  1287.  
  1288. “I stay here with pretty pony princess. Younger sister can raise sun. Hives are
  1289. fun.”
  1290.  
  1291. “Younger sister looks funny when she breaks out and she gets incredibly
  1292. grouchy.”
  1293.  
  1294. “There is that.” He grunted, and then he stretched his arms out straight in
  1295. front of him. “Luna already has it out for me, so I should probably not irk
  1296. her.”
  1297.  
  1298. “You are filthy,” Celestia noted with a kiss to his cheek.
  1299.  
  1300. “I was bucking apples,” he retorted with a return kiss of his own. “But at least
  1301. I have been coated in a fine, high-quality soil, which is dirt with a good
  1302. reputation, if I understand properly.”
  1303.  
  1304. “I see, but now I am dirty too,” she continued. She stood and lifted her wing,
  1305. which made Anon snicker at the oblong brown smudge he’d left in her immaculate
  1306. white coat.
  1307.  
  1308. “Oops?” he offered.
  1309.  
  1310. “Oops indeed.” She smiled. “I suppose we shall have to bathe before starting the
  1311. day.”
  1312.  
  1313. “Bath?” he repeated, and he sat up quickly while shaking his head vehemently.
  1314. “No way. I had one last year and I’m still good.”
  1315.  
  1316. She gave him a dubious look. “I doubt your hygiene is that poor, especially
  1317. given your prior profession.”
  1318.  
  1319. “Nope, I’m being totally honest.”
  1320.  
  1321. “One bath since this time last year?”
  1322.  
  1323. “Yep.”
  1324.  
  1325. She then offered a sly smile. “And how many showers do you take in a year?”
  1326.  
  1327. “Um, well...” he sheepishly replied. “Twice a day, so…”
  1328.  
  1329. “Well, it is high time you had another bath,” she declared with a laugh. “If you
  1330. don’t like this one then you may wait another year.”
  1331.  
  1332. “Fair enough. I have no doubt you will convince me to bathe more frequently.”
  1333.  
  1334. Celestia gave him a quick nip on the neck, then crossed the room and stuck her
  1335. head out into the hallway for a moment as he stood and shook the last bits of
  1336. sleep from his hair. She then trotted back, but paused at the doors that led to
  1337. the balcony.
  1338.  
  1339. “Would you like to join me for the sunrise, Anon?” she asked kindly.
  1340.  
  1341. “Do fish swim?” he replied, and he walked over to her. “I’d love to join you.”
  1342.  
  1343. She giggled at bit at his eagerness, and then they both walked out onto the
  1344. balcony, side by side. Once they reached the railing at the far end Anon tried
  1345. to move out of the way, but Celestia’s wing reached out and pulled him into a
  1346. warm snuggle.
  1347.  
  1348. “If Luna could raise the moon with Star Struck under her wing then I can do the
  1349. same with you and the sun,” she simply stated.
  1350.  
  1351. “Has raising the sun ever gotten old?” he asked.
  1352.  
  1353. “How so?”
  1354.  
  1355. “Well, you’ve been doing this for over a thousand years. Do you even think about
  1356. what you’re doing anymore, or it just automatic now, like when a pegasus flaps
  1357. their wings to fly?”
  1358.  
  1359. “I try to be very mindful of what I am doing, but at times it has become just
  1360. one of many steps in my morning routine. Doing the same thing every morning will
  1361. do that.”
  1362.  
  1363. “Huh. So, what helps you to keep it from being ‘just another step?’”
  1364.  
  1365. “I think back to how things were.” She closed her eyes, and Anon could feel the
  1366. sea of memories flowing to her. “I remember how the unicorn tribe believed
  1367. themselves superior and how fundamentally wrong that was. I remind myself of the
  1368. suffering I saw among the earth ponies, the sorrow I felt when I walked amongst
  1369. half-starved colts and spoke with frozen mothers. I hope I never lose the
  1370. emotion I have attached to those images of families struggling to survive on the
  1371. roots and scraps left by Hurricane and her soldiers.
  1372.  
  1373. “Mostly, though, I remind myself of how important my duty is by thinking back to
  1374. when I first raised the sun. It was peaceful, but beyond any power I had ever
  1375. experienced in my life. I realized then, as I strained against the weight of it
  1376. for the first time, that I was controlling the one thing that could bring life
  1377. or death to untold millions. The very survival of my world and everything that I
  1378. held dear within it rested upon my back. If I remember the full scope of what I
  1379. am responsible for, it’s easy to regain the proper perspective.”
  1380.  
  1381. Her horn then lit while she continued to speak, and Anon eagerly watched the
  1382. eastern horizon. “I suppose the same thing will be true for us. We could become
  1383. distant due to familiarity.”
  1384.  
  1385. “Then we should remember how we feel right now,” he replied before a blast of
  1386. pure joy electrified his entire being with the first rays of morning light.
  1387.  
  1388. “I believe that will be quite doable,” she happily replied.
  1389.  
  1390. “But, I really was just expecting you to answer with a simple yes or no.”
  1391.  
  1392. “Have I ever done that?” she asked playfully.
  1393.  
  1394. “No,” he replied with a hug to her neck.
  1395.  
  1396.  
  1397.  
  1398.  
  1399.  
  1400. “Now, we can’t spend very long in the tub,” Celestia reminded Anon.
  1401.  
  1402. “Wrinkles?” He lifted a hand. “Mine get all scrunchy after a few hours.”
  1403.  
  1404. “No,” she chided mildly. “We have a lot to catch up on today.”
  1405.  
  1406. “’We?’ You have a lot of work to catch up on. I don’t have any clue about what
  1407. to do.”
  1408.  
  1409. “Well, that changes today,” she replied as she pushed open the bathroom doors.
  1410. “If you’re going to be my prince, then I want you to do prince-y things.”
  1411.  
  1412. “That might take awhile, you… realize...”
  1413.  
  1414. Anon’s eyes went wide, and it took him a minute to fully process and admire the
  1415. opulence before him. The marble tub was closer in size to a swimming pool, large
  1416. enough to accommodate his entire school swim team and still have room left over
  1417. for both Celestia and Luna to do the backstroke alongside them. The tub was fed
  1418. by a large waterfall at the far end of the room that cascaded down several
  1419. layers of cool grey granite rocks. Similar rocks—which looked very much like
  1420. enlarged version of those little hot stones Anon had seen used in massage
  1421. therapy—lined the far edge of the tub and slowly rose from the main level in
  1422. uneven steps, giving the impression that a pony could climb up to the top of the
  1423. waterfall and dive in if they wanted to. Thick and verdant foliage ran around
  1424. the perimeter of the room and bunched up around the gold-trimmed marble pillars,
  1425. and Anon gawked at the frosted-glass ceiling for a moment as he tried to make
  1426. out the swirling and swooping patterns. Steam was hugging the water like a soft,
  1427. semi-transparent blanket, and he could feel his muscles relaxing just from
  1428. thinking about the temperature. His feet stepped alongside hers as they crossed
  1429. the checkerboard tiles that ran up to and around the sparkling blue water, and
  1430. he was eager to hop in, if he could only find the diving board.
  1431.  
  1432. At a momentary loss for words, Anon focused on something simpler. There were
  1433. small clumps of suds being churned up by the waterfall, swirling around in the
  1434. currents, and building up into frothy peaks in the corners of the immense tub.
  1435. “It smells like strawberry bubble bath. Right?”
  1436.  
  1437. “You would be correct,” Celestia happily replied. “And there are enough for
  1438. however many bubbles you desire.”
  1439.  
  1440. Anon whistled. “How deep is it? I never learned how to swim.”
  1441.  
  1442. “You may want to stay away from the middle, then. The tub is deep enough to
  1443. allow me to be fully submerged, even if I am standing.”
  1444.  
  1445. “So if this is the bath, why is your shower so small and plain?”
  1446.  
  1447. “It’s only been used for one before,” she responded, then wrinkled up her nose
  1448. with a smile. “No, I tried to keep my personal quarters simple when the palace
  1449. was constructed, but there are some ponies who just get...” She paused, looking
  1450. at the waterfall cascading down the back of the room.
  1451.  
  1452. “Carried away?” asked Anon. “I think I understand how that can happen.”
  1453.  
  1454. Celestia preened under the praise and continued. “This was built without my
  1455. approval by a certain earth pony foreman who had a little too much access to the
  1456. Royal Treasury for his own good. He thought he was getting in on my good graces.
  1457. I then insisted that my shower and other facilities be unadorned and simple to
  1458. make up for this, and twice a week there is an open plunge for the staff and
  1459. their families.”
  1460.  
  1461. “Not a bad perk,” he replied, and he started to undress.
  1462.  
  1463. “Not at all.”
  1464.  
  1465. “Oh! Wait! I need to grab something,” he suddenly announced, and he darted
  1466. towards the bedroom.
  1467.  
  1468. “What are you doing?”
  1469.  
  1470. “Nothing! I’ll be right back!”
  1471.  
  1472. She chuckled with the thought of Luna giving him a hard time about how he was
  1473. actually doing something, but then she simply shook her head in amusement and
  1474. entered the tub. The water was the exact perfect temperature, and she sighed as
  1475. she felt the tension in her muscles melt away.
  1476.  
  1477. She then flipped onto her back, spread her wings fully, closed her eyes, and
  1478. then simply floated in bubbly goodness. Baths were a bit of a luxury for her as
  1479. well, simply due to time constraints, but when she was able to sneak one in she
  1480. reveled in it. Now that she had a special somepony to share them with, she was
  1481. highly inclined to bathe more and shower less.
  1482.  
  1483. She giggled a bit with the thought. A special somepony. It was quite enjoyable
  1484. to have the words apply to her. Her own Anon to hold, and to snuggle, and to
  1485. kiss.
  1486.  
  1487. Oh, and they were going to. She had to fight back a constant urge to bar every
  1488. door, pin him in place with her magic, and then smother him with kisses, but her
  1489. Anon would soon find out that even her willpower had its limits. Whoever said
  1490. the waiting was the best parts was a liar. There were a lot of best parts she
  1491. was looking forward to just as much or more. Her new husband just needed a
  1492. little bit more time to adjust to his new life, and then…
  1493.  
  1494. And then life would be perfect.
  1495.  
  1496. She floated with this happy thought for a moment, but then gave herself a small
  1497. dose of reality. Her married life might be perfect at that point, but life in
  1498. general would not be. Though Equestria was peaceful and prosperous, there were
  1499. still plenty of threats, and eventually they both would have to deal with them.
  1500. Chrysalis and her Changelings were still loose out in the Badlands, for one
  1501. example, and they could very well try to return.
  1502.  
  1503. She then frowned. Was Anon a changeling? Could he be an imposter?
  1504.  
  1505. The thought left her mind as quickly as it came while Celestia remembered their
  1506. dance from last night. He was real, he was a human male, and he was really hers.
  1507. The thought of him being a changeling was impossible based on his actions, his
  1508. nervousness, and his eagerness to be respectful of her. He was giving her love,
  1509. and that was a concept that changelings simply couldn’t comprehend.
  1510.  
  1511. She giggled a bit when she heard steps on tiles. She bit her lower lip in
  1512. mischievousness, gauged where Anon would be—an impressive feat, if she did say
  1513. so herself, given that her ears were underwater—and then quickly lashed out with
  1514. her magic, seized him, and flung him in a neat arc into the bath.
  1515.  
  1516. She began laughing as she flipped and stood up, but her mood instantly ran into
  1517. horror when she saw that the person she had caught was not Anon.
  1518.  
  1519. “HAST THOU GONE COMPLETELY DAFT?!” Luna bellowed in the Royal Voice at her
  1520. sister after she breached the surface like a furious whale. She then began
  1521. hacking and wheezing to clear the water from her lungs, and Celestia moved over
  1522. to assist.
  1523.  
  1524. “I am so sorry, Luna! I thought you were Anon!”
  1525.  
  1526. “Thou didst believe me to be Anon?!” She coughed again and glared as she pulled
  1527. her mane out of her eyes. “How could thy magic not detect the weight difference
  1528. between us?”
  1529.  
  1530. “Lulu, I swear, you felt about the same as Anon.”
  1531.  
  1532. “But, of a truth, I am larger than he.”
  1533.  
  1534. “I know, I know.”
  1535.  
  1536. Luna coughed one last time, but then glanced behind and looked at her flank.
  1537. “You are speaking truly, Sister?”
  1538.  
  1539. “On my word of honor, you did not feel any heavier than Anon.”
  1540.  
  1541. “Hm! Perhaps those rice cakes are working then,” she replied, while giving her
  1542. hips a slight shake.
  1543.  
  1544. Anon then entered again, humming a happy little tune and holding a small rubber
  1545. duck in one hand. He stopped once he saw Luna wiggling her rear in the tub, gave
  1546. a small shriek of alarm, and quickly grabbed a nearby towel to hold in front of
  1547. him as he looked back to Celestia.
  1548.  
  1549. “Both of you?” Anon’s eyes darted back and forth, and he took a step backwards.
  1550. “I didn’t think Luna would be joining our bath.”
  1551.  
  1552. “That makes two of us.” Luna tossed back a lock of sodden dark mane. “I was
  1553. merely stopping by to inform you that the Duke of Maretonia has had to cancel
  1554. his visit. I had no intention of staying, but since I am in here and sopping wet
  1555. anyway I might as well join you.”
  1556.  
  1557. “So, how did you end up in there?”
  1558.  
  1559. Celestia’s ears folded back, and she let out an uneasy chuckle. “I thought she
  1560. was you and I dunked her.”
  1561.  
  1562. “Oh! So, thank you for saving me from that, I guess?”
  1563.  
  1564. “I hope you appreciate my sacrifices for you, Anon,” Luna dryly offered while
  1565. she removed her wet regalia and placed it on a small pile of towels.
  1566.  
  1567. “What do you have there, Anon?” Celestia asked.
  1568.  
  1569. “Oh! This?” he looked at the toy in his hand. “It’s just a little rubber duckie.
  1570. I bought him the morning of our first meeting at the train station.”
  1571.  
  1572. “May I see it?”
  1573.  
  1574. Anon nodded and entered the tub with a smile, but he paused and shuddered in
  1575. delight when the water washed over his torso. “Wow, this feels good. I don’t
  1576. know if I’ll ever get out again.”
  1577.  
  1578. Celestia giggled while she watched Anon walk over to her, his feet bouncing
  1579. against the floor and propelling him forward. “That would be nice, but don’t
  1580. forget about the wrinkles.”
  1581.  
  1582. “Out of curiosity, do you know how to swim, Anon?” Luna asked.
  1583.  
  1584. “Not really,” he replied to her while handing the duck over to Celestia. “I can
  1585. doggie paddle but not much else.”
  1586.  
  1587. “This is a cute toy,” Celestia remarked while Anon sat down on the bench next to
  1588. her. “I like his little smile.”
  1589.  
  1590. “Yeah, I saw him in one of the stores and I thought he’d make a good little
  1591. memento of my visit to Canterlot. Since I’m going to live here now I figured I
  1592. should let him swim free.”
  1593.  
  1594. Celestia put the duck on the water and gave it a soft push. It floated along, as
  1595. happy as any little rubber duckie had ever been, and even Luna chuckled a bit.
  1596.  
  1597. “I will admit the grin is cute,” she remarked. “He will be most welcome here.”
  1598.  
  1599. “Anon, could you scrub between my wings?” Celestia asked, as she floated a soft,
  1600. silver colored scrub brush over to him. “Please?”
  1601.  
  1602. There was no way Anon was going to refuse. He took the brush and softly worked
  1603. in some soap, but then kept going onto her neck and withers. She didn’t say
  1604. anything, but the hum of satisfaction told Anon how much she enjoyed his actions
  1605. beyond what any phrase could.
  1606.  
  1607. While he scrubbed, Anon’s mind began to ponder what was happening at that
  1608. moment. He knew full well that Celestia’s beauty had been known for centuries.
  1609. Sonnets had been written about it, pictures had been painted on the subject, and
  1610. there was a good possibility wars had been fought over the matter. Though Luna
  1611. arguably held the advantage in dark allure and mysterious seduction, it was
  1612. Celestia who time and again was considered the consummate and preeminent example
  1613. of the Equine ideal. Every angle, every curve, every part and portion of this
  1614. Mare among mares was what defined the word ‘beautiful.’
  1615.  
  1616. So far, he had managed to suppress that knowledge by reminding himself that he
  1617. was associating with Princess Celestia, and that it was very uncouth, at the
  1618. least, to think of your liege in such a crude manner.
  1619.  
  1620. But now she was here, inches away from him. He could smell the softness of her
  1621. coat, he could feel the silk of her mane, and he could not avert his eyes from
  1622. the pure perfection that was before him. Even her very pose at the moment could
  1623. not be any more enticing; she simply sat, her body tilted slightly forward and
  1624. her wings lowered softly into the water but oh-so slightly angled to allow Anon
  1625. to scrub. Her mane was still dripping, but she had pulled it over one shoulder
  1626. and twisted it once to keep it from interfering in Anon’s work, and her head and
  1627. neck were angled down as she looked into the water before her.
  1628.  
  1629. Anon swallowed hard. The vision of perfection before him was his wife. Try as he
  1630. might, he could not simply call her Princess anymore and be done. By law and by
  1631. love, she was just as much his as he was hers.
  1632.  
  1633. And then his gaze went to his own reflection in the silver of the brush.
  1634. Granted, the image was distorted, but it still held enough truth in it to remind
  1635. Anonymous of what he really was.
  1636.  
  1637. A fool.
  1638.  
  1639. Oh, how he wished he had more strength against these feelings of doubt and
  1640. inadequacy! Celestia had told him several times that she loved him, that she
  1641. cared for him, that she found him attractive and cute.
  1642.  
  1643. But the reflection in the brush just simply couldn’t be all that. He had no
  1644. charms, no grace. He dark, or mysterious like Star Struck had been. He wasn’t
  1645. well built, nor did he have roguish charm or stylish mane like Shining Armor
  1646. had.
  1647.  
  1648. He had nothing, especially when placed next to her.
  1649.  
  1650. Tears started to silently trickle down his cheeks as he resumed scrubbing. Yes,
  1651. Celestia said she loved him, but how could that ever be true? He just couldn’t
  1652. comprehend it. How could the apex of Ponydom find anything attractive or
  1653. redeeming in him, a mere smudge?
  1654.  
  1655. “Anon, is everything okay?”
  1656.  
  1657. He quickly dipped his head in the water as she glanced back toward him. He
  1658. didn’t want her to see this. His tears would only make things worse.
  1659.  
  1660. After a moment, he pulled himself back out of the water. “Lost the brush.”
  1661.  
  1662. “It’s in your hand,” she gently pointed out.
  1663.  
  1664. “Huh, how about that?” He went back to scrubbing, and he fought against himself
  1665. to keep his emotions in check. Celestia didn’t need his insecurities on top of
  1666. everything else she needed to deal with.
  1667.  
  1668. “Are you sure you’re alright? I thought I heard you sniffling.”
  1669.  
  1670. “Yup, I’m just fine,” he said. He tried desperately to have it come out in a
  1671. normal tone, but it came out so meekly and quietly that even Fluttershy would
  1672. have been impressed.
  1673.  
  1674. “He likes what he is seeing right now,” Luna quipped with a devious grin.
  1675. “Garbanzo and Lima are going to get those grandfoals sooner than they think.”
  1676.  
  1677. Anonymous deliberately dropped the scrub brush that time and then immediately
  1678. went under after it. Why did she have to say that?! Of course he liked what he
  1679. saw, that was the whole problem!
  1680.  
  1681. He stayed under for a moment as he pretended to search for the brush. He could
  1682. make it through this. He could. He just had to keep those ridiculous emotions of
  1683. his in check until he could get himself back to baseline. It hurt him to think
  1684. of the hurt he would cause Celestia by not believing what she had said.
  1685.  
  1686. As he came back up that time, however, he felt her twist him so he came up
  1687. facing away from her. She then pulled him into a tight hug, and her breath
  1688. tickled his ear.
  1689.  
  1690. “Don’t block me out, Anon,” she whispered. “Talk to me. I am here to help you,
  1691. to comfort you, and to love you. You will hurt me far more if you withdraw into
  1692. yourself and push me away then you ever could by being open with me.”
  1693.  
  1694. She then started nipping in his hair and around his ears, and he forced himself
  1695. to enjoy what she was doing. Though his fears and insecurities remained, they
  1696. were made manageable and tolerable as she tugged and pulled and snuck quick
  1697. pecks in on his cheeks and neck.
  1698.  
  1699. “Why?” he finally whispered.
  1700.  
  1701. He felt her lips brush his ear. “Because with you, dear Love, I am home.”
  1702.  
  1703. He dipped his head in pure shame, and the tears flowed freely.
  1704.  
  1705. “Why can I not believe that?” he whispered through the tears. “Why is that so
  1706. hard for me to accept?”
  1707.  
  1708. “I do believe I have some moon rocks to sort,” Luna suddenly announced, and she
  1709. paddled quickly to the ramp leading out of the tub. Water cascaded in small
  1710. rivlets down her flanks and off of her mane, and a small puddle formed around
  1711. her hooves when she paused at the top and looked back at Anon. “May I offer one
  1712. bit of advice, from an old nag to a young buck?”
  1713.  
  1714. He nodded, and she flashed a knowing smile.
  1715.  
  1716. “Doubt your doubts before you doubt your love for—and of—my sister.”
  1717.  
  1718. She then levitated a few towels onto her barrel and began to dry herself off as
  1719. she left the room.
  1720.  
  1721. “She left her crown,” Anon noted.
  1722.  
  1723. “She’ll get it later,” Celestia replied. “We need to discuss this.”
  1724.  
  1725. She then released him and guided him to the built-in bench she was sitting on
  1726. herself. A wing slowly stretched out, as if to wrap around him in comfort, but
  1727. it then retreated and settled on her side.
  1728.  
  1729. “I hate not having the words to say what I’m feeling,” he muttered with his gaze
  1730. on his reflection in the water. “I wish I had your eloquence.”
  1731.  
  1732. “Sometimes there are no words for your true feelings. When people say they love
  1733. each other, it usually means something much deeper than what is generally
  1734. defined as ‘love.’”
  1735.  
  1736. He chuckled sadly but his gaze remained downcast. “That sounds like something
  1737. Cadence would say.”
  1738.  
  1739. “She may be the Princess of Love, but she had to learn the concept from
  1740. somewhere.”
  1741.  
  1742. “I suppose that’s true. I just…” He grunted in frustration.
  1743.  
  1744. “Take your time,” she offered.
  1745.  
  1746. “You tell me you love me. I see that you love me, I feel that you love me, and
  1747. you act as one would who is in love. But when you sway your hips at me, or when
  1748. you start bathing and don’t even try to entice me, I find I am drawn to you, but
  1749. then I remember who I really am.”
  1750.  
  1751. The water had settled enough that Anon could see his face within it, and he
  1752. glared at the pathetic man he saw. “I’m nothing more than a common, low-brow
  1753. yokel who has no place, right, or business in your life. Every time I take a few
  1754. little steps on that bridge over the gap between us, I remember that and I run
  1755. right back to where I am safe, and I hate myself for doing so. You, as the
  1756. perfect picture of female beauty, are weighed down and fettered with me.” A tear
  1757. slid down his cheek and ripped the water. “A human who looks like a bag of stale
  1758. popcorn.”
  1759.  
  1760. “Do you believe yourself to be unattractive?”
  1761.  
  1762. “I find it hard to comprehend that I have something you like, or that you want.
  1763. What could you possibly find enticing about me?”
  1764.  
  1765. “Let me first say that I am quite flattered that you consider me to be the
  1766. ultimate in beauty.” She offered a warm smile. “There are many who would
  1767. disagree with you on that point. In all honesty, Luna is probably considered to
  1768. be better looking than I am.
  1769.  
  1770. “But if I am understanding you correctly, you feel that you do not possess
  1771. anything that I should find attractive, and yet you believe me when I say I love
  1772. you.”
  1773.  
  1774. “I’m just a fun little dichotomy, aren’t I?”
  1775.  
  1776. “I’ll let the aren’t slide since you managed to use dichotomy in a sentence
  1777. properly. May I share something with you?”
  1778.  
  1779. He looked up at her and nodded sadly. “I need all the help I can get.”
  1780.  
  1781. “When did you first feel the embers in your heart?”
  1782.  
  1783. He looked down again. “That first night, when you read my henscratch. I felt…
  1784. complete, I guess. I even wanted the feeling to continue.”
  1785.  
  1786. “Hmm. And then yesterday, you did say you could love me despite any darkness you
  1787. found in my past.”
  1788.  
  1789. “I did, yes.”
  1790.  
  1791. “Is that still true?”
  1792.  
  1793. “Yes,” he quietly offered.
  1794.  
  1795. “Do you love me?” she flat asked.
  1796.  
  1797. Anon did not hesitate. “I do, yes.”
  1798.  
  1799. “Then remember that, when the doubts come. Luna mentioned the other day that
  1800. you’re fighting twenty-odd years of conditioning. It’s not so easy to push past
  1801. my exterior of Princess and see down to my Celly. But I think you can, and that
  1802. you will.”
  1803.  
  1804. “You do?”
  1805.  
  1806. She nodded. “Doubts are natural, Anon. If things had been different and you had
  1807. somehow married Sego Lily, they very well could have surfaced in their own way
  1808. with her. It just becomes amplified and magnified when you’re with me. It’s not
  1809. a surprise.”
  1810.  
  1811. “But I don’t want to keep feeling this way. I hate thinking these thoughts. It
  1812. seems like I’m betraying you all over again when I do.”
  1813.  
  1814. Celestia smiled. “Perhaps there is a way I can help with that. Do you trust me?”
  1815.  
  1816. “Of course.”
  1817.  
  1818. Celestia’s horn flared, and the bathroom faded out of sight. In fact, everything
  1819. left his view. He felt a small twinge of panic as he looked around for any sort
  1820. of light. “Celly? Where are you?”
  1821.  
  1822. “I’m right here,” she instantly replied.
  1823.  
  1824. “Where?”
  1825.  
  1826. “I am all around you. You won’t be able to see me here, so don’t try to. Feel me
  1827. instead.”
  1828.  
  1829. Anon decided the best way to do that was by flailing his arms in front of him.
  1830.  
  1831. “No, no. Not like that. Reach out with your heart. I can see you, after all.”
  1832.  
  1833. There was a pause for a moment as Anon tried to figure out how to do this, but
  1834. he then relaxed, and began thinking of her. He thought of her kindness, her soft
  1835. words and her smile. He thought about how he had felt when she’d raised the sun
  1836. that morning.
  1837.  
  1838. And slowly, he began to see her. It was blurry at first, but after a few moments
  1839. of effort he was able to bring her into focus.
  1840.  
  1841. But it wasn’t quite her. Before him was a unicorn, with a soft pink mane and
  1842. light grey coat. She stood at about half his height, but there was no mistaking
  1843. those eyes.
  1844.  
  1845. This was his beloved wife.
  1846.  
  1847. “There you go,” she said happily. “Notice anything different?”
  1848.  
  1849. “One or two things, yes.”
  1850.  
  1851. “This place is, in simple terms, a place of feelings. While here, you see with
  1852. your heart, not your eyes. This is the Celestia you love: the one who is just
  1853. Celly. Luna’s advice is, indeed, wise council. Doubt your doubts before you
  1854. doubt this. Your love is true, Anon, and it is right. Don’t be ashamed that you
  1855. feel inadequate. You’re not the only one.”
  1856.  
  1857. She then pointed down, and Anon looked. They were both standing on what appeared
  1858. to be a mirror or some other sort of reflecting surface, but the other side
  1859. showed something completely different that what he was expecting.
  1860.  
  1861. The reflection showed Celestia, but as an old and wrinkled mare, with dark
  1862. splotches on her sides, a grey mane and shaking knees. Her head was near the
  1863. ground and her back was bowed, but yet she still managed to look royal and
  1864. regal.
  1865.  
  1866. Next to her, and where his reflection was, stood a strong and noble-looking
  1867. human. Straight off the cover of some romance novel, the image was
  1868. broad-chested, with a chiseled chin, and stood taller than Celestia usually did.
  1869. Anon could hardly believe that the reflection was him. If this other human
  1870. didn’t have his green skin, he could have easily passed off the stud as one of
  1871. the innumerable nobility that he had seen in one of those fairy tales from earth
  1872. he read as a kid.
  1873.  
  1874. “This is how I see you, Anon: strong, firm, and handsome. You are a dedicated
  1875. and devoted man, and one who will remain faithful to me forever.”
  1876.  
  1877. “But you look...”
  1878.  
  1879. “I am old, Anon, in heart and in body. I may not look like it or act like it,
  1880. but I certainly feel it. Most of the time, I can forget that detail by diverting
  1881. my attention into work or helping my little ponies, but I never can totally
  1882. escape it. I have had moments—several moments, in fact—when I wonder why a man
  1883. like you would find an ancient geezer like me attractive. I don’t consider
  1884. myself to be the most beautiful pony in all the land, but if you do then that is
  1885. enough.
  1886.  
  1887. “The next time those doubts come, come back to here. Come back to when you first
  1888. knew, and to what you know. It may take years, it may take decades. But if you
  1889. will trust me, and trust your own heart, then you will eventually overcome those
  1890. doubts. Truth always wins out in the end.”
  1891.  
  1892. He nodded, and a grand feeling of joy spread over him as the world around them
  1893. faded away and reality came back. Once he felt like he had fully returned to the
  1894. bathroom, he saw he had turned again, his arms around his beloved Celly and hers
  1895. around him, as well as her wings. They were nose to nose, and he quickly became
  1896. captivated by those divinely magenta eyes.
  1897.  
  1898. “And in the most unsurprising revelation in the history of Equestria, green just
  1899. happens to be my favorite color,” she softly whispered. “To me, the shade of
  1900. your skin is the exact shade of happiness one gets from a bright summer’s day.
  1901. Don’t ever be ashamed of that.”
  1902.  
  1903. “Thank you,” he whispered, and his heart began thumping with delight as he felt
  1904. his lips moving towards hers.
  1905.  
  1906. A voice then decided to rudely cut into the serenity from behind them. “Your
  1907. Highnesses?”
  1908.  
  1909. “Seriously?” Celestia grunted out in a whisper, but then she put on the most
  1910. diplomatic smile Anon had ever seen, a radiant display of happy cheeks and
  1911. gleaming teeth that would have sent any diplomat screaming for home in terror.
  1912. “Yes, Wysteria? What is it?”
  1913.  
  1914. “I really do hate to interrupt, but you have a meeting with the Minister of
  1915. Transportation in twenty minutes.”
  1916.  
  1917. “We will be out momentarily.”
  1918.  
  1919. Wysteria wisely didn’t move, however, so Celestia released Anon and grabbed the
  1920. brush. She then gave Anon a furious scrubbing from head to feet, and he dunked
  1921. himself to rinse and thus finish the process. Celestia then handed him the brush
  1922. and lifted her wing, and Anon began scrubbing the long dark stain he’d left on
  1923. her.
  1924.  
  1925. Out of the corner of his eye he saw movement, and he glanced up to see Wysteria
  1926. mouthing and pointing.
  1927.  
  1928. Scrub where her wing meets her body.
  1929.  
  1930. He cocked an eyebrow, matched her slightly devious smile, and moved the brush up
  1931. to the indicated spot.
  1932.  
  1933. Celestia then let out a very unregal screech and leaned back. “Stop that.”
  1934.  
  1935. “Stop what?” he asked innocently.
  1936.  
  1937. Celestia glanced back at Wysteria, then leaned back in towards Anon. “I’m
  1938. ticklish right there.”
  1939.  
  1940. “Oh really?” he asked, and then he began scrubbing the ticklish spot furiously.
  1941.  
  1942. “No! Ah!” She laughed and snatched the brush from him, but he simply moved in
  1943. with his own fingers.
  1944.  
  1945. “Right there?! Are you sure?”
  1946.  
  1947. “Stop it, stop it!” she giggled furiously. “This is unfair! I can’t ge-yah!”
  1948.  
  1949. Wysteria smiled smugly as she left the scene of the now furious splash fight. >
  1950. 20. - Meetings, Meals and Makeovers >
  1951. --------------------------------------------------------------------------
  1952.  
  1953. “Wow, that was boring.” Anon couldn’t stop the truth from spilling out. “I could
  1954. also use tedious, trite, monotonous, stupefying, dull, and to get any further,
  1955. I’m going to need a thesaurus and a few minutes to find the really good words.”
  1956.  
  1957. “That it was, but it was also very important.” Celestia gave his cheek a kiss
  1958. before they began walking down the hall. “The wrong gravel will lead to drainage
  1959. issues and flooding, just as Minister Dusty Bottoms said.”
  1960.  
  1961. “Yeah, but still. Two hours to talk about rocks? And not even big rocks.
  1962. Teeny-weeny rocks just the right size and made out of just the right rock-stuff
  1963. to allow drainage without clumping or shifting. And what’s worse, I think I was
  1964. starting to understand him at the end there, just about the time my brain
  1965. started oozing out of my ears from boredom.”
  1966.  
  1967. “I’m afraid this is what the life of royalty is really like. There will be a
  1968. healthy amount of tedium in your days from here on out.”
  1969.  
  1970. “Well, I’ll just stay by you then. I bet we can liven things up together.”
  1971.  
  1972. “Don’t tempt me.” She giggled with him. “I believe it will take very little to
  1973. convince me to engage in your ‘nefarious’ plots.”
  1974.  
  1975. “Auntie Celestia! Anon!” Cadence called out from behind. The newest and yet
  1976. oldest royal couple paused, and both smiled as they turned to greet her.
  1977.  
  1978. “Good morning, Cadence,” Celestia warmly greeted her niece. “You seem to be
  1979. missing somepony.”
  1980.  
  1981. “I don’t know where he ran off to. I was actually hoping you’d seen him.”
  1982.  
  1983. “No, I’m afraid we haven’t,” Celestia replied, and Anon shook his head to
  1984. emphasize the point. “We’ve been in a meeting for most of the morning.”
  1985.  
  1986. “Where’d he go, then?” Cadence asked herself.
  1987.  
  1988. “I’m sure he’s around here somewhere. Have you checked with the guards?”
  1989.  
  1990. “A couple of them, but they haven’t seen him either. Or they’re covering for one
  1991. of his Hocus Pocus: The Get-Together games. He mentioned something about
  1992. perfecting his agro deck last week.”
  1993.  
  1994. “Well, he couldn’t have gotten too far away. It is possible he was called away
  1995. to deal with an issue within the ranks of his guards.”
  1996.  
  1997. It was just then that Sergeant Pokey rounded the corner and cleared his throat.
  1998. “Excuse me, Your Highnesses, but Captain Armor wants me to inform you that he
  1999. has lunch ready in the private gardens. He will receive you at your leisure.”
  2000.  
  2001. Cadence instantly went from worried to delighted. “He made lunch? That is so
  2002. sweet! He hasn’t tried to cook since the talking cake incident.”
  2003.  
  2004. “Talking cake?” Anon asked.
  2005.  
  2006. “He somehow used an animation spell on a two-layer chocolate cake he made for
  2007. me,” Cadence explained, as they all began walking with the sergeant towards the
  2008. gardens. “It was a lovely cake but it kept shouting and hurling insults at us in
  2009. Neighponese for some reason.”
  2010.  
  2011. “So what did you do with it?”
  2012.  
  2013. “Well, it wasn’t easy to find a translator, but apparently it had anger
  2014. management issues stemming from when it was just a little Bundt cake and its
  2015. cocoa father left its milk mother. We got it into some counseling, and now it’s
  2016. on a speaking tour of the Empire, sharing motivational advice and positive,
  2017. life-affirming lessons. Eventually it would like to settle down with a cute
  2018. cream puff and have some mini lava cakes of its own.”
  2019.  
  2020. Anon really didn’t know what to say to that.
  2021.  
  2022. “I told him he needed to work on his animation spells,” Celestia casually
  2023. replied. “He had a whole room of spears dancing around once with no way of
  2024. stopping them.”
  2025.  
  2026. “Oh, but I’m sure he’s gotten better, though. He wouldn’t have tried cooking
  2027. again if he didn’t feel confident.”
  2028.  
  2029. “Do you seriously have a talking cake walking around the Crystal Empire?” Anon
  2030. blurted.
  2031.  
  2032. Celestia bit her lower lip to hold back a snicker but Cadence remained calm.
  2033. “Why would you doubt my story, Anon?”
  2034.  
  2035. “Because if a cake had come to life in my house my mom would have stabbed it to
  2036. death and then my dad would have sold it for twenty percent off.”
  2037.  
  2038. Celestia did snicker that time.
  2039.  
  2040. “All right, you got me,” Cadence replied with a laugh. “The cake started
  2041. talking, yes; but as soon as it said that it was going to go straight to my hips
  2042. I cancelled the animation spell on it. Sadly, I remember it being a bit dry
  2043. too.”
  2044.  
  2045. Anon chuckled with the other two. “You had me worried there for a minute. I
  2046. guess Shining Armor needs to learn how to put chocolate pudding in his cake mix
  2047. and I need to learn how to be less gullible.”
  2048.  
  2049. “That’s not so easy, given your present company,” Cadence said. “I remember
  2050. Auntie Celestia pulling a few fast ones on me.”
  2051.  
  2052. “If you can be good-natured about our teasing you’ll be fine,” Celestia added.
  2053. “And you’re welcome to try to get one on us as well.”
  2054.  
  2055. “Right.” He gave them both a flat smile. “Nothing possibly could go wrong with
  2056. that.”
  2057.  
  2058. The three of them chatted about a couple of their favorite stunts and pranks as
  2059. they made their way out to the gardens. Anon was interested to find that this
  2060. little area was walled in and guarded, but yet open enough to allow perhaps
  2061. forty ponies or so at any one time. Other than that, it was a miniature of the
  2062. regular gardens: stone paths, two or three small statues, a quaint pond near the
  2063. middle, and small flower patches spread here and there. It was pleasant, and
  2064. Anon liked it.
  2065.  
  2066. “You know, I have been neglecting that corner of the gardens for too long.”
  2067. Celestia glanced up to Anon and gave him a smile that was brighter than her own
  2068. sun. “I think I should plant some sunflowers over there. They would be just
  2069. perfect, and add some much needed life and color.”
  2070.  
  2071. “I dunno,” he said with a wary grin. “There’s some weird pests that get into
  2072. them. You’ll have to be careful.”
  2073.  
  2074. “Mm, I think the risk is acceptable.”
  2075.  
  2076. More laughter came with this, and the Royals then found Shining Armor near the
  2077. pond and under a stately and shady oak tree, a large red-checkered tablecloth
  2078. beneath him. He smiled and waved once they made eye contact, and he pulled a
  2079. rather sizeable picnic basket from the side of the tree as they finished walking
  2080. over.
  2081.  
  2082. “Shining Armor, you stupendous stallion!” Cadence gushed. “You made us a picnic
  2083. lunch!”
  2084.  
  2085. “I thought I would try and give Anon some competition,” he replied, with a wide
  2086. grin. “It’s nothing fancy, but I think it’ll work.”
  2087.  
  2088. Cadence peered in the basket, giggled a bit, and then levitated the plates and
  2089. cutlery out as Anon and Celestia sat down together. It only took a moment for
  2090. the picnic items to be distributed, and Anon thanked Cadence when she presented
  2091. him with a fluted glass filled to the brim with freshly squeezed lemonade.
  2092.  
  2093.  
  2094.  
  2095.  
  2096. “So, Chef Armor, what exquisite cuisine have you created for our enjoyment?”
  2097. Anon asked.
  2098.  
  2099. “Well, I tried to channel my inner gourmet chef as I prepared this, so I have a
  2100. three-course meal.  For the appetizer, I have fried green tomatoes.”
  2101.  
  2102. “Oo, those look good,” Cadence remarked as Shining levitated a bowl of them out.
  2103. “You did this by yourself?”
  2104.  
  2105. “Chef Beet may have given me a few pointers, but I did do most of it. Please,
  2106. dig in!”
  2107.  
  2108. Anon took a bite, chewed thoughtfully for a moment, then forced his face to a
  2109. pleased neutral. He didn’t need to critique this, he just needed to enjoy it.
  2110.  
  2111. And, in fairness, they were decent. A touch on the thin side, now that he took a
  2112. good look at them, and a bit too thick on the breading. He also had used
  2113. tomatoes that were a shade too green, and they were nearly swimming in pepper.
  2114. Shining had let the frying oil get too hot, so the outside was seared dark while
  2115. the insides were barely cooked. They were crunchy little concoctions, but they
  2116. were made with love for those who he loved, and that was all that mattered.
  2117.  
  2118. Anon listened politely and tried not to crunch too loudly while Shining and
  2119. Cadence discussed some things relating to the Crystal Empire over with Celestia
  2120. as they ate. Production was up, and the manufacturing of crystal related items
  2121. was really beginning to take off, but the overall capacity to manufacture was
  2122. still stunted and the ability to get it to market was a concern as well. A few
  2123. ideas were thrown about on how to alleviate these problems, and Celestia also
  2124. encouraged them to work on broadening their industries so they could better
  2125. weather any potential downturns in the economy.
  2126.  
  2127. Then the main course came out: daisy sandwiches. Anon smirked a bit as Shining
  2128. described how he had slaved and toiled over a hot oven to make the sandwiches
  2129. perfect, but he said nothing and allowed the Captain to play it up. He didn't
  2130. like daisies, because humans and eating flowers didn't mix well, but that was
  2131. alright.
  2132.  
  2133. “Anon, are you okay?” Celestia asked. “You seem awfully quiet.”
  2134.  
  2135. “Oh, I’m fine; I’m just listening. I don’t have anything to add to a discussion
  2136. on factory output and logistical concerns.”
  2137.  
  2138. “Well then, let’s change the subject,” Cadence replied. “We did come here to get
  2139. to know you better, Uncle Anon.”
  2140.  
  2141. “And I thought Prince Anon was going to be weird to hear.” He chuckled.
  2142.  
  2143. “It’ll grow on you. I know! Let’s play a game.”
  2144.  
  2145. Shining gave his wife a knowing look. “Twenty Questions?”
  2146.  
  2147. She smiled at him smugly. “Twenty questions, but I think we’ll just do a couple
  2148. for today.”
  2149.  
  2150. Anon smiled a bit as he glanced between them. “I get the feeling this is not the
  2151. twenty questions I’m familiar with.”
  2152.  
  2153. “No, I’ve modified it a bit. I would play this with my new clients when I was a
  2154. foalsitter to help break the ice and to get to know the foal I was watching. I
  2155. ask a question about you and then you ask me a question. It’s a fun way to learn
  2156. about a pony, or human, and I usually gave a little toy or permission to stay up
  2157. past bedtime as a reward.”
  2158.  
  2159. “Can I not answer a question?”
  2160.  
  2161. “You can. The fun of it gets ruined otherwise.”
  2162.  
  2163. “All right,” Anon said with a smile. “Why don’t we all try it. This does sound
  2164. kinda fun.”
  2165.  
  2166. “We’ll start with you, then. What is your favorite color?”
  2167.  
  2168. “Well, it was red but I’m thinking I like white now,” he replied, with a smile
  2169. for his wife.
  2170.  
  2171. “Fair enough. Your turn now.”
  2172.  
  2173. “One for you, my dear Celly, and it’s one I was going to ask about yesterday.
  2174. What was with that question you asked Twilight about the square root of a
  2175. negative number?”
  2176.  
  2177. “Oh, that.” Celestia tittered a bit. “Twilight is a remarkable and intelligent
  2178. young mare, but she has always had a tendency to obsess and fixate on details,
  2179. as Cadence can attest to. Finally, in a fit of annoyance and desperation one day
  2180. as she was prattling on about how I needed to conduct her math review before her
  2181. first recess, I asked her that question. She ground to a stop, just like
  2182. yesterday, and we later established that question—exactly the way I phrased
  2183. it—as a signal for her to stop and to listen to me. It has been some time since
  2184. I’ve had to ask her that, though.”
  2185.  
  2186. “My turn to ask.” Shining smiled deviously. “Anon, did you go to public or
  2187. private school, and in either case, could you stand the meals they provided?”
  2188.  
  2189. “That’s two questions,” Anon noted.
  2190.  
  2191. “So answer twice.”
  2192.  
  2193. Anon rolled his eyes a bit. “All right. I went to public school, and yes, I ate
  2194. school lunch most of the time. My family being in the business they were in
  2195. meant that a home lunch was always over-complicated.
  2196.  
  2197. “In fact, there’s a kinda funny story with that. First day of kindergarten,
  2198. right? Little Anon is elated to go, and my parents let me make my own lunch for
  2199. the first day. I was so eager to show off what I’d made, and to see what
  2200. everyone else had, ‘cause obviously everyone works in a restaurant and has
  2201. access to premium ingredients.
  2202.  
  2203. “So we get to lunch. I sit down at the table, and I pull out a little napkin and
  2204. put it in my lap before I begin, all proper and neat. I then started to unpack.
  2205.  
  2206. “Now, of course the other kids have the usual stuff—peanut butter and jelly, hay
  2207. chips, little sandwich cookies, the like—and then Little Anon pulls out a mixed
  2208. greens salad lightly tossed in a balsamic vinaigrette dressing, a glazed
  2209. vegetable dumpling the size of my five year old hand, a small container of apple
  2210. puree—not applesauce, mind you, there is a difference—and six ounces of grape
  2211. juice that was less than twelve hours old. I remember getting it all set up,
  2212. grabbing my fork, and then finally looking around at what everypony else had. I
  2213. was shocked they all had such common fare and they were all astonished that I
  2214. had such fancy food. I think I spent most of that lunch trying to get my
  2215. classmates to pronounce vinaigrette properly.
  2216.  
  2217. “And the worst part?” he added as they all laughed lightly at the story. “The
  2218. worst was when I pulled out my dessert. I had a homemade pudding that was so
  2219. rich and creamy it made everyone’s mouth water, including Missus Willow’s. I had
  2220. to bring a tub of it with me the next day to share with everyone.”
  2221.  
  2222. “I would love to taste your pudding. Could you show me how to make it?” Celestia
  2223. asked with a sly smile.
  2224.  
  2225. “I’ll show you how to make it tonight, how’s that?” said Anon, trying to figure
  2226. out why Cadence was snickering into a hoof and Shining Armor had turned away to
  2227. cough vigorously into his napkin. “What did I say?”
  2228.  
  2229. “I’ll tell you when you’re older,” Shining replied somehow.
  2230.  
  2231. Anon shrugged before turning back to his wife. “Is that acceptable?” he added.
  2232.  
  2233. “It sounds delightful,” Celestia replied with a quick nip of his ear.
  2234.  
  2235. “Good. Now, let’s see.” Anon thought for a moment. “Cadence, have you ever
  2236. regretted helping two ponies fall in love?”
  2237.  
  2238. “No,” she cheerfully answered. “But I don’t force ponies to fall in love either.
  2239. That makes all the difference. I just help them to see what they already have.”
  2240.  
  2241. “Wow. Not one, not ever?”
  2242.  
  2243. “Not a one. Now, some relationships haven’t worked out, but even then they
  2244. stayed friends. So I haven’t had any regrets⁽*⁾.” (*) Except for the guppies.
  2245. Don’t ask about the guppies.
  2246.  
  2247. “I hope that continues,” Celestia remarked. “Perfect streaks are hard to
  2248. maintain, however.”
  2249.  
  2250. Anon somehow felt that she was speaking from some personal experience.
  2251.  
  2252. “It may happen one day, but even then I'll keep at it,” Cadence said.
  2253.  
  2254. Anon felt impressed, and he was sure it showed. Cadence’s devotion to her craft
  2255. was inspiring, to say the least.
  2256.  
  2257. “One from me,” Celestia stated. “Where does the phrase ‘bite the bark’ come
  2258. from?”
  2259.  
  2260. “Ah yes. That just bites the bark, doesn’t it?” Anon paused for a moment and
  2261. gathered the details he would need in his head. “Honestly, no one in my family
  2262. is totally sure where it came from or how it started. However, folklore tells of
  2263. an ancient family member, the first to take up a ladle and knife and to ply the
  2264. trade of cooking. He made music with mashed potatoes, soliloquies with string
  2265. beans, and a fortune from figs.
  2266.  
  2267. “This member of our family, however, became cocky and arrogant. As his skill
  2268. grew so did his fame, and as fame came so did ego. He soon proclaimed himself
  2269. the greatest cook that had ever been or ever would be, and that none could or
  2270. would dare challenge him. Interestingly, some versions say that you, Celly, sent
  2271. a challenger to bring this one back down to reality, though I think you would
  2272. remember if this happened.”
  2273.  
  2274. “It is rather amazing to see how often I commission a warrior for these sorts of
  2275. things.” Celestia smiled and tapped her chin with a hoof. “I don’t recall
  2276. sending a challenger for any cooking competitions or to eliminate rogue chefs,
  2277. but it is within the realm of possibility, I suppose.”
  2278.  
  2279. “Well, Celestia sent or not, a challenger did step forward. The terms were
  2280. simple: cook a better meal for a panel of judges. It would be an epic clash of
  2281. skill, and he agreed readily to the contest.
  2282.  
  2283. “To make a long story short, he lost. It was then he realized he’d never
  2284. bothered to find out what terms he’d agreed to, and the challenger set him to
  2285. gather and split firewood with only his teeth. He began to do so, and thus began
  2286. biting bark.
  2287.  
  2288. “It’s also not clear how long he had to do this, but once the lesson was learned
  2289. the challenger allowed him to stop, and from then on the phrase ‘to bite the
  2290. bark’ came to mean either dealing with an extremely uncomfortable situation or
  2291. as a reminder to avoid arrogance and pride. My parents on occasion would send me
  2292. off to school with the admonition to ‘remember not to bite the bark,’ and it was
  2293. a catchy little way to remember to be humble and friendly with others.”
  2294.  
  2295. “That’s a fun little story,” Cadence said with a smile.
  2296.  
  2297. “Now, a question for the good Captain,” Anon said.
  2298.  
  2299. “Uh oh,” said Captain replied while bobbing his eyebrows.
  2300.  
  2301. “What is the one piece of advice you would give me to help me transition into
  2302. being a prince?”
  2303.  
  2304. Shining nodded his head in appreciation. “Honestly? Be yourself. You’re going to
  2305. feel an immense amount of pressure to change or to be different so as to fit in
  2306. with Celestia or the nobles better, but don’t let it get to you. Celestia loves
  2307. you the way you are now. If you change in a way that is not true to yourself,
  2308. you’ll ruin the magic you share. Don’t be afraid to do Anon things and to say
  2309. Anon stuff. Don’t worry about if you’re being princely enough. Worry more about
  2310. being Anon enough.”
  2311.  
  2312. Anon glanced up at Celestia, who gave him a warm smile.
  2313.  
  2314. “He is right, there will be some who will want you to twist and contort yourself
  2315. to fit their mold and ideals. They will say you are doing a disservice to
  2316. Equestria by being Anon, that you are an embarrassment and an outrage. You’re
  2317. not. I think you are perfect just the way you are.”
  2318.  
  2319. “Thanks. I’ll remember that.”
  2320.  
  2321. A few more questions were tossed back and forth as they finished their
  2322. sandwiches, but they were light and fun in nature. Celestia, however, was
  2323. eventually forced to announce that she and Anon needed to attend to Day Court.
  2324. Before they left, however, Shining had one last part of the meal to share: fresh
  2325. brownies.
  2326.  
  2327. “Oo, these look good,” Cadence remarked, as Shining handed out a sizeable square
  2328. to everyone.
  2329.  
  2330. “I hope they are. Chef Beet said this was the absolute best recipe for brownies.
  2331. Hopefully they measure up to Anon’s.”
  2332.  
  2333. “Ah, but I haven’t made brownies here yet. I need to now so we… can…” Anon
  2334. squinted at the brownie in his hoof. He had given it his usual sniff for a new
  2335. food, but something smelled very wrong. He took another deep whiff, then
  2336. coughed.
  2337.  
  2338. “Shining, are you sure you put—”
  2339.  
  2340. “PLAH!” Shining spit his bite out and then began wiping his tongue with his
  2341. hooves. Celestia and Cadence were a bit more dignified about it, having calmly
  2342. lifted their napkins up, but still the offensive square came out and faces of
  2343. disgust were pulled.
  2344.  
  2345. “—sugar in them,” Anon concluded. “I think you grabbed the salt by mistake.”
  2346.  
  2347. “You get to cook from here on out,” Shining groaned as the lemonade began to
  2348. disappear quickly.
  2349.  
  2350.  
  2351.  
  2352.  
  2353.  
  2354. Anon chuckled a bit as he watched his love gargle yet another glass of water,
  2355. swish it around in her mouth and cheeks, and then swallow it with a “blagh”
  2356. thrown in for good measure.
  2357.  
  2358. “You going to be okay? I’ve lost track of how much water you’ve drunk.”
  2359.  
  2360. “I may be a little longer in the lavatory this evening, but I’ll be fine.”
  2361.  
  2362. “If you say so.”
  2363.  
  2364. “Bleh.” She stuck her tongue out at him for a moment. “Luna will love this when
  2365. she hears about it. Wysteria, send in the next petitioner, please.”
  2366.  
  2367. Two pegasus mares then entered, and both looked extremely cross. One roughly
  2368. bumped into the other as they walked up, but it was returned in kind without
  2369. hesitation.
  2370.  
  2371. Anon groaned inwardly. He’d seen the look they shared back home, and it always
  2372. meant that somepony was upset about their meal. They would now demand a refund,
  2373. a free meal, and an apology while kissing their hooves and begging their
  2374. forgiveness, in that order.
  2375.  
  2376. But how would this all work out since, by some fantastic means, he technically
  2377. was one of the supreme voices in all of Equestria? He fought back a smile as the
  2378. two pegasi bowed. No more apologizing because the carrots were slightly
  2379. overcooked for him!
  2380.  
  2381. “Good afternoon, my little ponies,” Celestia greeted them evenly. “What do you
  2382. have to bring before the court?”
  2383.  
  2384. “Your Highness, we’re here to appeal a court decision,” the mare on the right
  2385. answered.
  2386.  
  2387. “You’re here to appeal,” the other mare cut in. “I’m here to make sure your
  2388. appeal fails.”
  2389.  
  2390. “Oh, go jump in a cactus!”
  2391.  
  2392. “Go spit in the wind!”
  2393.  
  2394. Celestia lifted one hoof just a fraction of an inch, but it silenced both mares
  2395. as swiftly as if she had used her magic. “If you two can’t behave, I will
  2396. dismiss you from this court. There is no call for your behavior. Now, let’s
  2397. start with names, one at a time if you please.”
  2398.  
  2399. “I’m Foxglove, Princess,” the mare on Anon’s left spoke first.
  2400.  
  2401. “Calm Breeze, Your Highness.”
  2402.  
  2403. “Thank you. Calm Breeze, what is the nature of your appeal?”
  2404.  
  2405. “I’m contesting a ruling by a probate court on my father’s estate.”
  2406.  
  2407. Anon wasn’t surprised at all to hear that. Money always made for the most nasty
  2408. fights.
  2409.  
  2410. “I see,” Celestia replied as a guard quickly handed her a bundle of papers.
  2411. “This would be the lower court’s ruling then, yes?”
  2412.  
  2413. “It is.”
  2414.  
  2415. “Let’s see.” Celestia began skimming the first page. “The estate is that of one
  2416. Rock Bottom, Esquire, a lawyer in Barrelstown. If I am reading this right, it
  2417. says that Calm Breeze is a biological daughter, while Foxglove is a
  2418. stepdaughter. Is this correct?”
  2419.  
  2420. “Yes,” both mares replied.
  2421.  
  2422. “Very well. Calm Breeze, since you are the one making the appeal we will have
  2423. you go first. Foxglove, please go with Sergeant Pepper into the hallway, and we
  2424. will call you in to testify momentarily.”
  2425.  
  2426. Foxglove nodded and left, and Celestia took a slow breath in. “Let us start at
  2427. the beginning. Please explain why you are appealing this decision to Prince Anon
  2428. while I read this over.”
  2429.  
  2430. Anon felt a small wave of panic before remembering Celestia could multitask. He
  2431. then focused on Calm, and she cleared her throat.
  2432.  
  2433. “Your Highness, as was mentioned I am Rock Bottom’s biological daughter. My
  2434. mother passed away when I was four, and Father remarried two years later.
  2435. Foxglove is her daughter.”
  2436.  
  2437. Anon most definitely caught the note of anger in her voice. Her was fairly spat,
  2438. as if it were a brownie made with salt and bile.
  2439.  
  2440. “My father suffered from some kind of senility after her death, however, and my
  2441. step-sister took advantage of this fact by having his last will and testament
  2442. altered to show her as the sole beneficiary of his estate, when he had planned
  2443. to give it to me. She’s a manipulative, spoiled brat who will stop at nothing
  2444. to—”
  2445.  
  2446. “Ah-ah,” Anon chided. “Just the facts, please. This is not the time for
  2447. character assassination.”
  2448.  
  2449. “Well, she’s stolen Father’s things from me. I just want back what is mine.”
  2450.  
  2451. “Did your father leave literally everything to Foxglove?” Anon asked. “There
  2452. isn’t a thing for you?”
  2453.  
  2454. “Well, there are a couple of token items for me in the revised will, but I was
  2455. originally going to get most of everything.”
  2456.  
  2457. “I see,” Anon replied thoughtfully. “When was the will changed?”
  2458.  
  2459. “Five years ago, I think.”
  2460.  
  2461. “And you claim your father’s mental issues began shortly before this change,
  2462. correct?”
  2463.  
  2464. “Yes, Your Highness.”
  2465.  
  2466. “When did your stepmother pass away?”
  2467.  
  2468. Calm pouted. “About five years ago, Your Highness, but that’s just a
  2469. coincidence.”
  2470.  
  2471. Anon nodded. “I see. And your appeal requests that the revised will be revoked
  2472. and the original reinstated, yes?”
  2473.  
  2474. “Yes, Your Highness.”
  2475.  
  2476. “Thank you. If you will, please step out while we speak to Miss Foxglove.”
  2477.  
  2478. The mares switched, and Foxglove bowed deeply before the throne of Equestria.
  2479. “Your Highnesses, I appreciate your willingness to hear my side of this ordeal.
  2480. Calm has been harassing me ever since my mother died, and I just want this
  2481. nightmare to end.”
  2482.  
  2483. Anon nodded. “Why don’t you tell me how this all came to be.”
  2484.  
  2485. “Well, that’s a simple enough story. Calm’s mother died when she was four or so,
  2486. and Rock Bottom married my mother a couple of years later. She—my mom, that
  2487. is—had divorced my real dad a few months before this, so there’s always been
  2488. some question about my mother’s real motivations. Mother and Father truly loved
  2489. each other, though, and they had a wonderful marriage.
  2490.  
  2491. “So, when my mom died suddenly, Father took it really hard. I’m sure Calm told
  2492. you he suffered from some sort of mental issue, but the only thing that
  2493. afflicted him was a broken heart. He just… well, he lost the will to live, I
  2494. suppose.
  2495.  
  2496. “A few months before he died, Father sat down and told me about the will. He’d
  2497. rewritten it with Mother, and he explained that I would receive most of his
  2498. estate, since Calm had squandered her part already. My sister couldn’t be
  2499. bothered to visit us during Father’s last days, or for his funeral, but she
  2500. showed up real quick when she found out she didn’t have any inheritance left. I
  2501. don’t want her to steal what was left to me; she’ll just squander it on parties
  2502. and expensive clothing and whatever else she wasted her portion on while she was
  2503. in college. This is just a last-ditch effort on her part. I’m pleased the
  2504. probate court has ruled in my favor, and I’m sure Your Highnesses will too.”
  2505.  
  2506. Anon asked one or two more questions about Calm Breeze and her wasteful spending
  2507. habits before inviting Calm back into the throne room. The ‘sisters’ glared
  2508. daggers at each other while Celestia continued to review the court ruling with
  2509. Anon, but in low whispers, the Princess pointed out to her husband that there
  2510. was no evidence to support Calm’s case.
  2511.  
  2512. “Princess, please,” Calm Breeze begged after a few minutes. “I just want what’s
  2513. rightfully mine.”
  2514.  
  2515. “Yours?” Foxglove spat. “You spent your part already. Father was trying to
  2516. protect me, you dunderhead!”
  2517.  
  2518. “Look, you hag! I was doing just fine until…”
  2519.  
  2520. “May I remind you that you will be dismissed if your behavior is not
  2521. appropriate?” Anon stated. He wasn’t afraid to pull some authority on two
  2522. squabbling foals; he’d done it dozens of times back home.
  2523.  
  2524. “Cram it, Greeny!” Calm shouted back at him, her face going red in anger.
  2525. “You’re not in charge, Celestia is!”
  2526.  
  2527. “Enough!”
  2528.  
  2529. Celestia sent a pulse of magic through the throne room that pushed everypony
  2530. besides Anon and herself a foot off from where they were, and every flag and
  2531. banner in the hall snapped loudly. The two bickering mares were immediately
  2532. silenced by the outburst, and all eyes were on the Princess, who had her wings
  2533. fully flared and her head slightly bowed.
  2534.  
  2535. “Listen to me very carefully,” she stated, without looking up. Her tone was cold
  2536. and haunting, complete and absolute, and Anon felt a twinge of fear slink down
  2537. his own spine despite not being the one who was in trouble. “Prince Anon has
  2538. equal standing and authority with me, and I will NOT tolerate crass insults
  2539. against him in this Court. Is. That. Clear?”
  2540.  
  2541. “Yes, Princess,” they both meekly replied.
  2542.  
  2543. Celestia gave her full and undivided attention to them now, and she took on an
  2544. even more fearsome look in so doing. “Calm Breeze, I see no fault in this
  2545. ruling. Do you have any physical proof—a statement from a doctor, a notarized
  2546. document from a reliable witness, or anything of the like—that shows your father
  2547. did suffer from the symptoms you have claimed, or that he was manipulated in any
  2548. way?”
  2549.  
  2550. “No, I don’t.”
  2551.  
  2552. “Then until you can provide such, the ruling of the probate court will stand.
  2553. You are dismissed. Foxglove, please remain for a moment.”
  2554.  
  2555. Sergeant Pepper moved to escort Calm Breeze out, but she was pretty quick to
  2556. show herself the door. Foxglove then found herself under Celestia’s intense
  2557. stare, and she gulped loudly.
  2558.  
  2559. “I am disappointed.” Celestia let the silence speak for her until she moved her
  2560. head ever so slightly back and forth while taking a deep breath. “You did not
  2561. need to provoke your step-sister. The flaw in her argument was quite evident.
  2562. Egging her on like that was petty and beneath you. I was hoping that you could
  2563. offer a path of reconciliation to her instead. She is, after all, your father’s
  2564. other daughter.”
  2565.  
  2566. “But she wasted Father’s money!”
  2567.  
  2568. “There are things no amount of money can buy. A sister, for example. Luna tried
  2569. to destroy me and bring about an endless night, yet she stands now as your
  2570. Princess. For a thousand years, I would have given anything to have her back.
  2571. Anything.”
  2572.  
  2573. Foxglove didn’t reply to that. She couldn’t even look Celestia in the eye.
  2574.  
  2575. “I grant there is much about your family that I do not know, so I will not pass
  2576. judgement on your actions. I will only point out that forgiveness usually works
  2577. far better than spite. I know I am grateful I did not condemn my sister for
  2578. always and eternity because of what she did. Be willing to give Calm Breeze a
  2579. second chance.”
  2580.  
  2581. “All right. I can do that.”
  2582.  
  2583. Celestia nodded, and Foxglove was shown out. Celestia then took a very deep
  2584. breath, forced her wings down, and then smiled when Anon put a hand on her
  2585. shoulder.
  2586.  
  2587. “Remind me to never make you mad.”
  2588.  
  2589. “I may have let my anger get out of hoof slightly, but that really ruffled my
  2590. feathers when she called you greeny. You’re not anything like that.”
  2591.  
  2592. “I can be a bit zesty sometimes,” he offered with a waggle of his eyebrows. “And
  2593. I’ve been called worse. One bully back in middle school called me ‘piss spot’
  2594. for the longest time.”
  2595.  
  2596. “And you didn’t tell anypony?”
  2597.  
  2598. “Oh, I told. Didn’t stop him. I just accepted it one day, and I took all the fun
  2599. out of it when I responded like it was my real name.”
  2600.  
  2601. The humorous anecdote released the tension that had built, and Celestia giggled
  2602. with Anon a bit. “Wysteria, are there any more petitioners?”
  2603.  
  2604. “No, they were the last ones,” the faithful secretary said with a quick glance
  2605. down the hallway.
  2606.  
  2607. “Good. Let us adjourn Day Court then.”
  2608.  
  2609. “Your Highness?” Sergeant Pepper walked back in with a large package on his back
  2610. while the doors shut. “This just arrived from Ponyville for you.”
  2611.  
  2612. Celestia squealed slightly in delight, snatched the package up in her magic, and
  2613. then eagerly ripped it open. She then tilted it up and away from Anon as he
  2614. tried to peer in.
  2615.  
  2616. “What is that?” he playfully asked.
  2617.  
  2618. “Something that will help you feel more like a prince, once we deal with one
  2619. little thing,” she replied with a wide grin. “Tell me, when was the last time
  2620. you had your hair trimmed?”
  2621.  
  2622.  
  2623. * * ✹ * *
  2624.  
  2625.  
  2626. “Oo, I was hoping this would come today, particularly after what happened in the
  2627. bath this morning.” Celestia giggled and clapped her hooves together gleefully.
  2628. “Are you almost done, Anon?”
  2629.  
  2630. “I don’t know about this,” he called back from behind the blind. “I feel like a
  2631. stuffed pepper that’s trying to pass itself off as saffron.”
  2632.  
  2633. “Don’t be silly. I bet you look perfect. Come out, I want to see!”
  2634.  
  2635. “Then why did you make me come back here?”
  2636.  
  2637. “So there could be a dramatic reveal! C’mon! Out, out!”
  2638.  
  2639. Anon then slowly stepped out. He tugged at the collar of the jacket, but then
  2640. turned to face Celestia broadside. “I look ridiculous, don’t I?”
  2641.  
  2642. Celestia didn’t reply. Instead, she levitated a full length mirror over from
  2643. across the room, and stood to walk over to Anon as be looked at his reflection.
  2644.  
  2645. “You look magnificent,” she whispered to him.
  2646.  
  2647. Anon did have to admit he looked good. Rarity had created an official dress coat
  2648. and matching pants for him to wear, in a regal navy blue color with a royal gold
  2649. belt and bright brass buttons running up the front that flashed brilliantly. The
  2650. coat was trimmed in white, fit him like a glove, and yet felt as soft as a
  2651. lamb’s ear against his barrel. Celestia’s solar emblem was affixed to each
  2652. shoulder on a white pad, and coupled with his Celestial Crystal he looked as
  2653. princely as anyone like him could ever hope to.
  2654.  
  2655.  
  2656.  
  2657. “You clean up well, too,” Celestia purred in his ear. “This is a good style on
  2658. you.”
  2659.  
  2660. “Are you sure? I mean, the coat is nice, but do you really think the hair is
  2661. okay? I haven’t had it this short in a long time.”
  2662.  
  2663. She gave him a sly look, then ran a bare hoof through it. She giggled a little
  2664. as a shudder of delight ran through him.
  2665.  
  2666. “Mm, yes. I’d say it works. It’s a good thing I got to you first; I’d hate to
  2667. lose this handsome Prince to Luna.”
  2668.  
  2669. “Naw,” he stammered. “It’s just a… just a coat, pants, and a hair cut, and…
  2670. well, y’know…”
  2671.  
  2672. He then turned and looked at her eagerly. “Do you really think I’m handsome?”
  2673.  
  2674. She smiled, and it was clear she understood his intent. He wasn’t asking because
  2675. he doubted her, he was asking because he wanted to hear her say it again.
  2676.  
  2677. “You were handsome before in a messy way. You are handsome now, in a cleaned up
  2678. way.” She then moved in close to his ear. “And you will be handsome to me even
  2679. when you are old and gray.”
  2680.  
  2681. She nipped his ear playfully, and when she pulled back he felt an extremely
  2682. dopey look spread with his joy. Anon then expressed how he felt in one word:
  2683.  
  2684. “Wow.” > 21. - Wysteria and Quill >
  2685. --------------------------------------------------------------------------
  2686.  
  2687. Wysteria Inkwell flipped idly through the pages on her trusty clipboard,
  2688. carefully reviewing the upcoming days’ events and ensuring that she had
  2689. everything she needed to discuss with her employer. The day had been eventful,
  2690. she had to admit, but all that remained was some quick confirmations and to file
  2691. her paperwork before heading home for the evening. She was eager to slip off the
  2692. flower-faced collar she wore that established her as Princess Celestia’s
  2693. secretary, aide-de-camp, and overall right-hoof mare, warm up the leftover
  2694. broccoli salad that was in her icebox, and then to slip into her favorite plush
  2695. robe and vanish into the pages of the latest Love Lost novel.
  2696.  
  2697. Such was her life, and she was pleased to have it. Becoming Celestia’s secretary
  2698. had been a combination of hard work, persistence, and a bit of sheer dumb luck,
  2699. but it also entailed long days—and the occasional long night, prissy nobles with
  2700. their heads in…well, never mind that; and dealing with some of the most
  2701. frustrating and oddball circumstances one could imagine. There was prestige in
  2702. her employment, but there was also more than enough figurative mud for her to
  2703. wade through on any given day.
  2704.  
  2705. Yet, Wysteria never felt like she was underappreciated, and she flipped past all
  2706. the pages on her faithful organizational tool to look at the custom engraving at
  2707. the bottom right corner.
  2708.  
  2709. For Wysteria, the pony who looks after me and what I treasure most.
  2710.  
  2711. A small smile tugged on her lips. The clipboard had been a gift from the
  2712. Princess on the fifth anniversary of her employment, and it was now one of her
  2713. most treasured possessions. It was a fine thing, made of a premium tarnish-free
  2714. silver and with Celestia’s emblem embossed on the back in colorful gemstones. It
  2715. had a spot for a spill proof inkwell, extra metal quill holders, and the
  2716. Princess had personally imbued it with an enchantment that kept it from being
  2717. lost or stolen. Of course, the three weeks extra paid vacation—which she still
  2718. had not taken—and the anniversary bonus in her paycheck had been most welcome
  2719. too, but it was touching that Celestia had taken the time to have this custom
  2720. clipboard made and to have engraved it with her own horn.
  2721.  
  2722. It was the respect and appreciation that she received from her employer that had
  2723. kept her there. Her skill set was impressive enough that she could find
  2724. employment in the private sector and receive twice her current salary, but then
  2725. there would be no Princess of the Sun. Celestia was an amazing pony even from a
  2726. distance, but when one was able to work up close with her, as she had done, one
  2727. quickly saw her as far more than just a princess. She was a mentor, a teacher, a
  2728. friend and a role model of the highest quality. Celestia seemed to be able to
  2729. naturally bring out the best in anypony she interacted with, and it had so
  2730. thoroughly inspired and motivated Wysteria that she had willingly taken on more
  2731. responsibilities, even at the expense of her family, friends, or even a
  2732. potential special somepony. Celestia was the pony that others aspired to be, and
  2733. Wysteria gladly did all that she could to make sure Celestia's light could shine
  2734. as brightly as possible.
  2735.  
  2736. Wysteria then shook her head while her mind drifted back to the events of the
  2737. last week. She had been beyond shocked to find that Celestia had written a law
  2738. that forced her royal self into marriage, only if the oddest circumstance
  2739. occurred, and that some stupid man had somehow managed to stumble right into it.
  2740. There had been several all-nighters involved in keeping the news from getting
  2741. out across the whole castle staff, and then to the general public. She had lied,
  2742. fibbed, stretched the truth, obfuscated, misdirected, begged, pleaded, bribed,
  2743. cajoled, whined, cried, and in one particular instance, used a little piece of
  2744. blackmail she never wanted to think about ever again. She had run herself nearly
  2745. to a nervous breakdown trying to keep ahead of the rumors and the tabloids, and
  2746. there had been more than a few times when Wysteria had begged Harmony, Fate, or
  2747. whatever had done this to help Celestia find the loophole or legality that would
  2748. get them all out of this mess and get life back to normal.
  2749.  
  2750. Leave it to her boss to write a perfect, irreversible law when in a panic.
  2751. Wysteria had personally gone over it herself and couldn’t find a single fault in
  2752. it.
  2753.  
  2754. Wysteria's rage at the green freeloading scoundrel had multiplied tenfold on the
  2755. day of their wedding. The mere thought of her illustrious Highness being forced
  2756. to become Celestia Mous was enough to make the secretary's blood boil and her
  2757. vision go red. With Celestia’s name being debased as it was, there would no
  2758. doubt be far-reaching negative consequences, and the male menace didn’t seem to
  2759. have a clue as to what he was really doing to the whole of Equestria.
  2760.  
  2761. Then the divorce had come to light. She had gleefully written the decree out
  2762. with her own quill, using every single bit of willpower she had left to keep
  2763. from dotting all the i's with little smiley faces. She was a bit concerned while
  2764. taking down Celestia’s every word—she personally found the terms to be far too
  2765. generous—but she let it slide with the happy thought that this would finally
  2766. clear out the riff-raff and allow Celestia to get back to what she really needed
  2767. to focus on: her ponies.
  2768.  
  2769. But then he hadn’t signed it. The fool wanted to try to make the relationship
  2770. work.
  2771.  
  2772. And Wysteria had been even more floored when she found out Celestia didn’t want
  2773. to sign the decree either.
  2774.  
  2775. What was the world coming to? Celestia should have forced him to sign it and
  2776. then thrown him out without another thought. He was naïve, he was uneducated, he
  2777. was totally unprepared to accept the role of Prince. He wasn’t even all that
  2778. attractive, either: Wysteria had rapidly summed up his looks as exotic, but not
  2779. attractive. What Celestia had seen in him was beyond her; if she was going to
  2780. marry, then she should at least find someone whose beauty matched her own. The
  2781. Baron of Fetloch, for example. Now there was a stallion, oh mama!
  2782.  
  2783. But Anon did stay, and Wysteria had found herself with a new boss. For the first
  2784. time in her career, she dragged her hooves and resisted following her Princess’
  2785. instruction to help Anon acclimate and to keep him on schedule with the goings
  2786. on in the palace. She was forced to work with the clown, and while she didn’t
  2787. like it to any degree she hesitantly agreed to weather the storm for the
  2788. Princess.
  2789.  
  2790. But then she’d talked with him, watched him work. He wasn’t anything like she
  2791. had expected, and in a good way: he was reserved, thoughtful, and observant. He
  2792. treated Celestia with deep concern and awed reverence. He actually cared about
  2793. her. And in the day-to-day grind of dealing with the royal Bundt cakes that made
  2794. up the Courts and Ministries, Wysteria found that he maintained a polite
  2795. humility that gave a blast of fresh air to everything.
  2796.  
  2797. And within a short amount of time, Anonymous won her over as well. What he
  2798. lacked in birthright he more than made up for in true royalty and pure
  2799. character.
  2800.  
  2801. Wysteria chuckled a bit to herself as she rounded the final corner to Celestia’s
  2802. – or, now Celestia and Anon’s – chambers, and she thought about the remarkable
  2803. change that had come over her employer. Celestia was, of course, eternally
  2804. pleasant and endlessly gracious to everypony she met, but now? It was like a
  2805. switch had been flipped, and the Princess went about her days with a spring in
  2806. her step, a song in her heart and on her lips, and an overflowing dose of
  2807. happiness for everyone she encountered. She was brighter now, with more vigor
  2808. and pep than Wysteria had ever seen before. Anonymous had managed to bring out a
  2809. side of Celestia that hadn’t been seen in, well, maybe ever.
  2810.  
  2811. He had brought out her youth again, and the joyful optimism that naturally came
  2812. with it.
  2813.  
  2814. Wysteria adjusted her glasses, made sure her papers were in order, and then
  2815. knocked on the door once before opening it with her magic.
  2816.  
  2817. She paused just inside the doorway. In the middle of the room stood Anon, in a
  2818. regal-looking jacket and pants that must have been in the earlier package that
  2819. had arrived from Rarity. He was looking himself over in Celestia’s full length
  2820. mirror, and Celestia was right next to him, admiring the view and whispering
  2821. something in his ear. He did look rather proper and, yes, even royal in it, and
  2822. she had to admit that, given the right clothing, he did have a sort of
  2823. unassuming charm about him.
  2824.  
  2825. Celestia then pulled back, and when she saw Anon's dopey expression, it was like
  2826. … well, like he was so happy that his face could not smile enough.
  2827.  
  2828. Wysteria felt her heart melt a little at the sight. No matter what it took, she
  2829. promised herself right then and there to do whatever she could to help their
  2830. love blossom and grow. A love like this deserved no less.
  2831.  
  2832. “Wow,” Anon remarked.
  2833.  
  2834. “Wow indeed.” Celestia agreed. “My dear husband, you look positively royal. I do
  2835. believe the expression on my secretary’s face says it all.”
  2836.  
  2837. “Wh-what?” Wysteria stammered, and her cheeks began burning. She quickly lifted
  2838. her clipboard up to block her face and her embarrassment, but again the
  2839. inscription came into sight:
  2840.  
  2841. …the pony who looks after me and what I treasure most.
  2842.  
  2843. Her smile grew bigger as the Royals chuckled. She would be most pleased to
  2844. continue to do so.
  2845.  
  2846.  
  2847.  
  2848.  
  2849.  
  2850. Wysteria walked out of the Royal chambers with a happy little tune. With the
  2851. details for tomorrow now settled, she had only to file her paperwork and go
  2852. home.
  2853.  
  2854. But across the hall stood Corporal Quillpoint, and after a moment of thought,
  2855. Wysteria adjusted her glasses and marched up to the gold-plated goof.
  2856.  
  2857. “Good evening, Miss Wysteria. What can I do for you?” Quill asked.
  2858.  
  2859. “Quillpoint, I’m off in fifteen minutes. Why don’t you and I go get a drink
  2860. tonight?”
  2861.  
  2862. Quillpoint hesitated. Protocol said he wasn't supposed to discuss personal
  2863. things while on duty, but his eagerness to talk to her was obvious.
  2864.  
  2865. “But you’ve always rejected me in the past,” he stiffly whispered.
  2866.  
  2867. “Say yes or no. Going once...”
  2868.  
  2869. “Yes! Totally yes!” he blurted, and then he quickly sealed up the crack in his
  2870. composure.
  2871.  
  2872. “Great. I’ll go talk to Lieutenant Spear Point about your schedule. You should
  2873. take me somewhere classy, but not too expensive. If I see one pony with the
  2874. title of Duke, Baron, Viscount, or Prince, I'm out.”
  2875.  
  2876. Wysteria then trotted away with a bounce in her step and a swish to her tail
  2877. that she had not felt in years. If her boss could have a love life, why couldn’t
  2878. she?
  2879.  
  2880. And in her wake, being careful not to be seen doing it, Corporal Quillpoint
  2881. punched the air in silent success, then settled back into his relaxed guarding
  2882. pose, only with a pleased smile on his face. > 22. - Do You Feel the Love? >
  2883. --------------------------------------------------------------------------
  2884.  
  2885. “Anon? Where did you go?”
  2886.  
  2887. Celestia peered around her room. He had been sleeping so soundly and with such a
  2888. cute little smile on his face that she simply couldn’t bring herself to wake him
  2889. when she had gotten up to raise the sun.
  2890.  
  2891. But now he wasn’t there.
  2892.  
  2893. Celestia’s ears then honed in on some faint singing that was coming from her
  2894. bathroom, and she quietly snuck her way to the shower. Anon had a catchy
  2895. nonsense tune echoing off the walls, and he was belting it out without a care in
  2896. the world.
  2897.  
  2898. “Shoop-be-doo! Shoop shoop-be-doo!”
  2899.  
  2900. Celestia cringed. Anon was singing at least a full octave above where his voice
  2901. naturally was, so the song was coming out very harsh, very screechy, and very
  2902. discordant. It was bad enough that it was making her ears hurt. With a bit of
  2903. magic to mask her hoofsteps, she maneuvered in behind her husband, who was in
  2904. the midst of a vigorous lathering of his hair. She then sat behind him and
  2905. snaked her arms softly around his barrel.
  2906.  
  2907. “Shoop-be doo, Shoop-shoop be wooeeEEK!”
  2908.  
  2909. “My dear Anon, you need to drop down an octave,” she breathed into his soapy
  2910. ear. “You are most definitely not an alto.”
  2911.  
  2912. “You need to warn me when you’re going to do stuff like that,” he replied, with
  2913. a turn and a quick swipe of his eyes to clear the soap from his vision. Since he
  2914. was eye-level to his beloved, he wrapped his own arms around her in one swift
  2915. motion, and her wings wrapped around him in reply. “But, I must admit, the view
  2916. just got immensely better.”
  2917.  
  2918. “Oh? Is that so?” she tittered.
  2919.  
  2920. “Very,” he replied as their noses and then their foreheads touched. “I
  2921. definitely needed more Celly in here.”
  2922.  
  2923. “Mm, it’s a good thing I came then, unless you speak of another Celly.”
  2924.  
  2925. “Never.” He shook his head gently. “How could anything under your sun begin to
  2926. compete with you? It is here where I shall find completeness.”
  2927.  
  2928. “I like the way you talk, dear Anon,” she whispered, and her lips began to inch
  2929. towards his. “Even if your grammar is a bit rough…”
  2930.  
  2931. Oh, was this finally going to be it? Celestia could feel the anticipation
  2932. building as he tilted his head slightly to one side, puckered his lips, and…
  2933.  
  2934. …and now she was in the dining room. The dining room?
  2935.  
  2936. “Celly, quickly! A crime of the most heinous nature has occurred! I need your
  2937. immediate assistance!”
  2938.  
  2939. “Lulu, you have no idea what you’ve just done, do you?” Celestia replied with a
  2940. great deal of annoyance and more than a little dripping on the floor.
  2941.  
  2942. “Well, you were probably making smoochy faces in the shower with your husband,
  2943. so I do believe I am helping you get on with your day. Besides, this is a true
  2944. emergency! A national crisis!”
  2945.  
  2946. “All right. Who died?”
  2947.  
  2948. “Died? Dear sister, don’t be so morbid.”
  2949.  
  2950. Celestia put a hoof to her forehead. “You ran out of corn flakes again, didn’t
  2951. you?”
  2952.  
  2953. “Yes!” Luna pouted and sniffled. “You know how I love my corn flakes!”
  2954.  
  2955. “Did you check your emergency stash?”
  2956.  
  2957. “Yes, and they are gone as well! I believe they have been pilfered!”
  2958.  
  2959. “And your secondary reserve?”
  2960.  
  2961. “Is… well, it’s… I mean, it may or may not have been compromised, and…”
  2962.  
  2963. With a sigh as deep as one of the craters on Luna’s moon, Celestia teleported a
  2964. box of corn flakes from Luna’s ‘so super secret it’s almost not a secret
  2965. anymore’ stash and then shoved it into her chest roughly.
  2966.  
  2967. “Huzzah! Dear sister, you have redeemed the day!” Luna cheered, and she hugged
  2968. the box of cherished flakes tightly.
  2969.  
  2970. “Glad I could be of assistance,” she grumbled. “May I go check on my husband
  2971. now?”
  2972.  
  2973. “Oh yes, by all means.” Luna waved a dismissive hoof at her. “Come, Flakey.
  2974. Breakfast awaits us!”
  2975.  
  2976. Celestia then teleported back without further ado, but it was as she feared:
  2977. Anon was now out of the shower.
  2978.  
  2979. “Of all the rotten times to run out of cereal,” she muttered in ominous tones.
  2980. “Anon? Where are you?”
  2981.  
  2982. “I’m in here,” he called out. Celestia followed the sound of his voice out of
  2983. the shower, then promptly received a towel to the face for her efforts.
  2984.  
  2985. A pair of hands then began rubbing her snout with tender concern, and a
  2986. delighted smile emerged on an adorably green face while the towel moved down the
  2987. left side of her neck.
  2988.  
  2989. “Luna should really let you dry off before she teleports you away,” he offered.
  2990. “I bet you left a puddle wherever you were.”
  2991.  
  2992. “She should also not call me away for trivial matters. It seems a national
  2993. emergency is now defined by running out of one’s favorite cereal.”
  2994.  
  2995. “Really?” he simply asked, and Celestia nodded. “Huh. So can I do that when you
  2996. don’t make pancakes?”
  2997.  
  2998. “Yes,” she replied with a laugh. “I want you to shut down the entire government
  2999. until you get my pancakes.”
  3000.  
  3001. “Will do!” he replied with a quick salute. He then laughed with her as he kept
  3002. drying her side. “Why didn’t you wake me up today?”
  3003.  
  3004. “I just couldn’t. You looked so peaceful and comfortable, I couldn’t bear to
  3005. disturb you.”
  3006.  
  3007. “Okay. That’s a good reason, but please wake me up from now on? I like watching
  3008. you raise the sun. I can live with a little less sleep if it means more time
  3009. with you.”
  3010.  
  3011. “You flatterer.” She giggled. “I’ll make sure to wake you from now on.”
  3012.  
  3013. “Thanks.”
  3014.  
  3015. Anon continued his rub down at a brisk clip, but when he reached her flank he
  3016. paused and gently touched her cutie mark with his hand.
  3017.  
  3018. “What is it?” she asked.
  3019.  
  3020. “Oh, nothing. Just a dumb question.”
  3021.  
  3022. “The only dumb question is the one that is not asked.”
  3023.  
  3024. “Right. Let me rephrase and say it’s an insensitive question.”
  3025.  
  3026. “Anon, just ask,” she gently prodded. “I don’t think it is all that.”
  3027.  
  3028. “All right. Do you remember getting your cutie mark?”
  3029.  
  3030. She grew thoughtful, and her eyes closed. “I’m afraid I do not. It is one of
  3031. those things I wish I did remember. I know I had it before I ascended, and I
  3032. know I was confused by it for a time, but now there is a blank void in my memory
  3033. where that should be.”
  3034.  
  3035. “I suppose after twelve hundred years I would forget too.”
  3036.  
  3037. “Sadly, any significant event in one’s life can be forgotten, given enough time.
  3038. I have often thought that memories are a bit like plants: unless they are
  3039. constantly cared for, they will wither away.”
  3040.  
  3041. “I could see that. I’ve never understood how anyone could forget an anniversary,
  3042. but if person isn’t willing to tend to the memory and remember the special
  3043. nature of it, it just becomes plain, regular and potentially forgotten.”
  3044.  
  3045. “Exactly. In the end, we all have to YEOW!”
  3046.  
  3047. Anon retreated four or five steps and quickly wound up the towel again as
  3048. Celestia whirled and glared playfully at him. He had a delighted smirk, and then
  3049. he began dancing to his left as he held his weapon of welt production at the
  3050. ready.
  3051.  
  3052. “Oh, you are going to pay for that one!” she threatened with a smile and a
  3053. snort.
  3054.  
  3055. She then made a feint forward, but her hoof got in close enough to get caught by
  3056. the edge of the snapping towel.
  3057.  
  3058. “Oh, that is it!”
  3059.  
  3060.  
  3061.  
  3062.  
  3063.  
  3064. “Are there any welts left on my ass?” Anon whined.
  3065.  
  3066. Celestia quite thoroughly enjoyed checking Anonymous’s posterior for any
  3067. wet-towel-induced injuries once again. It had only taken her perhaps thirty
  3068. seconds to snag the towel from him—with her hooves, not her magic, thank you—and
  3069. then perhaps a minute more before she caught up to him in the hallway and rained
  3070. down unholy-yet-pleasantly-plush towel torment upon his backside. While he had
  3071. given her quite the welt from his surprise attack, he had suffered at least a
  3072. dozen retribution shots in return.
  3073.  
  3074. It was a good thing Celestia also knew how to heal what she had hurt.
  3075.  
  3076. “I don’t see anything. You should be fine,” she replied, with a slight snicker.
  3077. “Does it feel sore at all?”
  3078.  
  3079. “No, it feels alright. I think I should be okay.”
  3080.  
  3081. “I promise I’ll go easier on you next time. I’d hate to spoil the view back
  3082. here.”
  3083.  
  3084. Anon’s cheeks went as red as a tomato and he tried vainly to cover his whole
  3085. rear with his hands, but there simply wasn’t enough hand to complete the job.
  3086.  
  3087. “Oo, do that again,” she teased. “Your hands frame your rear quite nicely when
  3088. you do that.”
  3089.  
  3090. “Don’t we have some kind of meeting to go to?” he said while trying to keep the
  3091. squeak out of his voice.
  3092.  
  3093. “Alas, we do. We should have something other than corn flakes sent up to eat
  3094. while we meet with Minister Penny Wise.”
  3095.  
  3096. “Okay, don’t tell me.” He wrinkled his snout in thought. “Finances, right?”
  3097.  
  3098. “Ministry of Finance, yes. Very good!”
  3099.  
  3100. “She’s the only one I remember. I suppose I’ll get them all straight
  3101. eventually.”
  3102.  
  3103. “Wysteria should be very helpful in that regard,” Celestia replied as they
  3104. started off. “She knows all of the Ministers, their deputies, and a great many
  3105. lower managers too. If you’re ever unsure, just ask me or her.”
  3106.  
  3107. “I don’t envy her position.”
  3108.  
  3109. “It takes a special type of pony to handle the sheer amount of information she
  3110. does, and she is probably the finest Executive Secretary I’ve ever had. I only
  3111. hope she knows how much I appreciate what she does.”
  3112.  
  3113. “I think she does,” he said with a smile.
  3114.  
  3115. “You do?”
  3116.  
  3117. “Yeah. She’s coming up behind us and heard everything we were talking about.”
  3118.  
  3119. “I stand behind every word I said,” Celestia stated emphatically, and Wysteria
  3120. gave her boss a gigantic smile.
  3121.  
  3122. “I only ask you remember all that when my performance review comes up, your
  3123. highness. But for now, Minister Wise is running just a minute or two late but
  3124. she is coming. Prince Anon’s desk has been set up and is ready to be used, and
  3125. Prince Shining wanted me to relay that he and Princess Cadence will be out for
  3126. most of the day on, quote very urgent matters unquote.”
  3127.  
  3128. “Very well, I see that Cadence has developed good instincts with regard to
  3129. meeting with the Finance section also. I must remember to praise her for that
  3130. later. I presume Minister Right Angle is still sending one of her deputies to
  3131. discuss the plans from Baltimare?”
  3132.  
  3133. “Let me see...” Wysteria flipped through the pages of her clipboard for a moment
  3134. “um…yes. Yes, Deputy Plumb Level.”
  3135.  
  3136. “Excellent, thank you.”
  3137.  
  3138. Wysteria nodded and then trotted off to attend to her other duties. Celestia
  3139. turned back to Anon, who looked thoughtful.
  3140.  
  3141. “Question?” she simply asked.
  3142.  
  3143. “More a general statement. I didn’t know you had an office, but it makes sense
  3144. if I stop and think about it.”
  3145.  
  3146. “We have an office now,” Celestia replied. “But we won’t be spending a lot of
  3147. time there. It feels too much like a jail cell, and I find it to be rather
  3148. confining most of the time.”
  3149.  
  3150. “Yeah, I bet that sitting in a little room for hours on end gets old after a few
  3151. hundred years.”
  3152.  
  3153. “Having you with me will be immensely helpful though,” she said while nipping
  3154. behind his ear quickly.
  3155.  
  3156. “You sure I won’t be a distraction instead?” he retorted, and he swung his arm
  3157. just enough to brush her flank.
  3158.  
  3159. “If that is the case then it’s a good thing the door can be locked.”
  3160.  
  3161. Her tail smacked his butt, and she took off with a prance and a laugh while Anon
  3162. tried to recover.
  3163.  
  3164. “I hope I never get used to that,” Anon muttered with a grin.
  3165.  
  3166.  
  3167.  
  3168.  
  3169.  
  3170. Anon was bored.
  3171.  
  3172. Very bored.
  3173.  
  3174. Bored, bored, bored. He was so bored, in fact, that he was wondering if it was
  3175. possible for someone to die of boredom. If such a thing could be, then his own
  3176. life was in grave danger.
  3177.  
  3178. So, so bored.
  3179.  
  3180. “…this represents a thirty-eight percent increase in the total number of plows
  3181. purchased, suggesting the reduction in the tariff on Griffonstone had the
  3182. desired effect. It would be prudent to keep the level as is, and then to urge
  3183. the manufacturers to increase production by twelve percent by offering
  3184. incentives and…”
  3185.  
  3186. Anon thought backwards for a moment. Minister Wise had simply walked into the
  3187. room with a quick three-tap knock, plopped in the chair in front of Celestia,
  3188. and had launched into her prepared proposal on the budget without even so much
  3189. as a ‘good morning.’
  3190.  
  3191. The proposal itself had two problems for Anon: one, Minister Wise was delivering
  3192. it in the most uninteresting and monotone voice possible and two, she was using
  3193. every technical term the realm of finances had. Anon had understood about one
  3194. tenth of what she was saying, the rest of it was pure nonsense and gibberish to
  3195. him.
  3196.  
  3197. Questions were right out too. At the beginning he had asked one or two questions
  3198. on the parts he had understood, but this then led to her slowly turning her head
  3199. to face him—a feat that, by appearances, took a titanic amount of willpower,
  3200. dedication, and physical effort—answering the question as quickly as possible
  3201. and with an obvious attempt to use very small words so Anon’s tiny brain could
  3202. handle it, and then snapping her head back to Celestia to continue on with her
  3203. spiel.
  3204.  
  3205. And the mare could probably frighten small children with that glare she had. It
  3206. was making his orange juice curdle in his cup, that was for sure.
  3207.  
  3208. “…with a profit margin of five percent, the annual gains from this nominal
  3209. expense will be adequate to…”
  3210.  
  3211. He wondered how much of what she was saying was real and how much she had just
  3212. made up by using large and confusing phrases. He then began to think of all the
  3213. big words he knew, and if he could use them to pass himself off as the Minister
  3214. of Finance if he tried hard enough.
  3215.  
  3216. “…and that concludes my official report, your Highness. I trust that my reforms
  3217. will be put into swift action.”
  3218.  
  3219. “Oh, I’m sure I’ll be reviewing this with my husband, so it may take a bit.”
  3220.  
  3221. Wow, emotion! Anon nearly fell over in excitement as Minister Wise’s eyes
  3222. widened by several millimeters in alarm.
  3223.  
  3224. “Your Highness, with all due respect, this budget needs to be enacted as soon as
  3225. possible to ensure the greatest returns for the Kingdom. There simply isn’t the
  3226. time for—” her eyes narrowed and moved to the Prince “—him to review it! Please,
  3227. don’t delay this!”
  3228.  
  3229. “Uh huh,” Celestia replied to no one in particular as she scanned through a few
  3230. pages of the budget. “Horrible things will destroy Equestria as we know it and
  3231. reduce it to ashes if the corporate tax rate isn’t adjusted for inflation within
  3232. the next seven days. Gotcha. My Prince, what did you think about this excise tax
  3233. on wagon wheels? I’m afraid I got a little lost there.”
  3234.  
  3235. “Princess!”
  3236.  
  3237. “Lady Penny Wise, I’m sorry to disappoint you but I simply cannot authorize this
  3238. budget until I go over it with Prince Anon. Since your presentation was only to
  3239. me and did not involve him in any way, I cannot ask him to sign off on this—as
  3240. he will be required to do, if I may add—until I feel satisfied that he
  3241. understands what he is signing off on. Now, unless you have something to share
  3242. with Prince Anon, I’m afraid that we have completed everything that can be done
  3243. today. Thank you for your time.”
  3244.  
  3245. Minister Penny Wise grumbled her way out of the office, and Anon was a bit
  3246. worried he’d messed something up somehow.
  3247.  
  3248. “In case you’re wondering, you didn’t do anything wrong,” Celestia said him with
  3249. a sneaky sidelong glance. “Lady Wise does this every year. I never just sign off
  3250. on her budget proposals, but she always thinks I will.”
  3251.  
  3252. “That does explain a little bit but I don’t think she likes me very much.”
  3253.  
  3254. Celestia let out a long exhale. “She didn’t, and there will be more like her. We
  3255. can’t really expect everyone to fall in love with you as quickly as I did. There
  3256. are some who will need more convincing than others.”
  3257.  
  3258. “I suppose this is where Shining Armor’s advice comes into play. I need to be
  3259. myself, even if others don’t like myself right now.”
  3260.  
  3261. “Just remember that they will. Once others start to see what I see, they’ll come
  3262. around.”
  3263.  
  3264. “What you see, hmm?” he asked. “And what is it that you see?”
  3265.  
  3266. “I see a man.” Celestia stood, stepped around her desk, and smiled as she met
  3267. his eyes straight on.  “A man who is kind, and interesting, and wants to learn.”
  3268.  
  3269. She leaned in and tilted her head as her eyes ran over his lips. “I see a man
  3270. who is sweet, who flatters me, and who dares to love a Princess for what she
  3271. really is. A man who can do many great things, and who will cook many a romantic
  3272. dinner for me.”
  3273.  
  3274. Her heart leapt up into her throat as she leaned in a bit closer and watched his
  3275. lips begin to move towards hers. “I see a man who is winning me over with his
  3276. devotion, his adaptability, his charms, and his wholesomeness. I see a man—”
  3277. Celestia shuddered at the tickle of his breath across her own lips “—who wants
  3278. to be mine—”
  3279.  
  3280. “Your Highnesses?”
  3281.  
  3282. “So close,” Celestia whispered to him in frustration.
  3283.  
  3284. “So very close,” he agreed.
  3285.  
  3286. “Oh! If this is a bad time, I can tell Deputy Level to wait for a few moments.”
  3287.  
  3288. “Nope, send her in,” Celestia replied in annoyance as she sat back and Anon
  3289. hopped down. “The good feeling is gone now.”
  3290.  
  3291. “Sorry!” Wysteria offered. “You should lock the door if you don’t want me to
  3292. come in unannounced.”
  3293.  
  3294. “What a novel idea.”
  3295.  
  3296.  
  3297.  
  3298.  
  3299.  
  3300. “So, which is worse, having no attention or having all of the attention?”
  3301. Celestia asked playfully.
  3302.  
  3303. “When you have no idea what they’re talking about, I would say no attention,”
  3304. Anon replied while they both sat on the throne and waited for Day Court to
  3305. commence. “I have no idea why Deputy Level thought running over those sewer line
  3306. upgrades with me was a good idea. You’re the one who knows the project.”
  3307.  
  3308. “I think she was simply eager to please,” Celestia replied with a laugh. “She
  3309. wanted to make a good first impression.”
  3310.  
  3311. “Fine way to go about it. At least I know more about sewers now than I ever
  3312. would have before.”
  3313.  
  3314. “There you go.”
  3315.  
  3316. “Princess?” Wysteria called out. “We are ready to begin.”
  3317.  
  3318. “Very well. Open the doors and let us begin.”
  3319.  
  3320. It was done as Celestia said, and Wysteria walked up the red carpet with the
  3321. first petitioners of the day.
  3322.  
  3323. “Harvest Right and Barley Corn, Your Highnesses. Also, Chef Beet wants me to
  3324. tell you she has a new creation being made for your lunch: miniature cheese
  3325. calzones. She’s thinking of calling them ‘pizza rolls.’”
  3326.  
  3327. Anon tilted his head and gave a thoughtful hum. “A ravioli, but with bread
  3328. instead of pasta. Interesting. I’ll have to ask her how she did it.”
  3329.  
  3330. “They smelled good, for what it’s worth,” Wysteria offered.
  3331.  
  3332. “Perhaps it’s a good thing Deputy Level went over her allotted time,” Celestia
  3333. remarked, but then she turned her attention to the two earth ponies before the
  3334. throne. “Now then, my little ponies, what can we do for you?”
  3335.  
  3336.  
  3337.  
  3338.  
  3339.  
  3340. “…just remember to floss really well next time,” Anon admonished. “You’ll save
  3341. yourself a lot of trouble if you do.”
  3342.  
  3343. “I’ll remember that. Thank you, Your Highness!”
  3344.  
  3345. Anon smiled and nodded with his wife, and the now plucky pegasus flapped out of
  3346. the throne room with a cheerful song. “That was interesting.”
  3347.  
  3348. “I did try to warn you.”
  3349.  
  3350. “That you did.”
  3351.  
  3352. “Who is next, Wysteria?”
  3353.  
  3354. “A nice couple from the Crystal Empire, Your Highness.”
  3355.  
  3356. “Goodness!” Celestia put a hoof to her mouth in worry. “I hope they didn’t come
  3357. all this way because Prince Shining and Princess Cadence were unavailable!
  3358. Please, please! Show them in immediately.”
  3359.  
  3360. Wysteria waved to the couple in the hallway, and Anon couldn’t help but chortle
  3361. when it was, in fact, Prince Shining and Princess Cadence who walked in and
  3362. bowed before the throne.
  3363.  
  3364. “All right you two,” Celestia said in both amusement and wariness. “What’s going
  3365. on?”
  3366.  
  3367. “Oh great Celestia,” Shining began with a grand sweep of his hoof, “whose
  3368. strength binds our lands together and whose wisdom shines forth across the
  3369. oceans—”
  3370.  
  3371. “Seas, seas!” Cadence whispered and gave her husband a hard elbow in the ribs.
  3372. “He said seas, not oceans!”
  3373.  
  3374. “Right, right,” Shining quickly whispered back, and he cleared his throat.
  3375. “Whose wisdom shines forth across the seas, we thank fortune and luck that we
  3376. have been so privileged to be in your presence today.”
  3377.  
  3378. Anon was finding it very hard to keep his composure together. A ‘sea’ of
  3379. suppressed giggles was making a furious push against his tightly closed lips.
  3380.  
  3381. “But we have come here today as your humble servants, as two who seek only for
  3382. the eternal happiness and indescribable joy of our beloved diarch. We wish to
  3383. offer a present, O beloved Celestia, a simple token of our own undying gratitude
  3384. for your selfless work in our behalf.”
  3385.  
  3386. “If you two brought me a flower I’m going to plant you in the bush you got it
  3387. from,” Celestia warned.
  3388.  
  3389. “No, something even better,” Cadence replied with a massive grin. “We were able
  3390. to get tickets to the opening night of Hinny of the Hills!”
  3391.  
  3392. “You what?!” Celestia shouted gleefully, and she was down to them in one eager
  3393. bound.
  3394.  
  3395. “We may or may not have used our royal position to secure them, but you both
  3396. will love it! Box seats, a perfect view of the stage, and maybe even a romantic
  3397. double date dinner to go with it!”
  3398.  
  3399. Both Anon and Shining winced, along with all the other male guards in the room,
  3400. as a squeal of pure delight was unleashed upon the hapless occupants.
  3401.  
  3402. “I have been dying to see this!” Celestia made a little ‘squee’ noise while
  3403. Cadence showed her the tickets. “Thank you! Anon and I will be delighted to
  3404. come!”
  3405.  
  3406. “Good! You do have tomorrow night free, right?”
  3407.  
  3408. Celestia glanced over to Wysteria, who nodded. “It’s open, Your Highness. I’ve
  3409. already scheduled it in for you.”
  3410.  
  3411. “Thank you again,” Celestia offered. “This will be fun. Anon! You can wear your
  3412. new coat, and I know just which dress to wear. This will be such a fun night!”
  3413.  
  3414. She then giggled and pranced back up to her assigned seat. The two of them
  3415. booped noses and laughed, and then Celestia composed herself. “All right.
  3416. Wysteria, who’s next?”
  3417.  
  3418. “A Mister Silver Tongue, Princess.”
  3419.  
  3420. “Show him in.”
  3421.  
  3422. A blindingly orange pony then strode in, dressed in a tweed jacket that clashed
  3423. horribly with his coat color and with a mane that was far too slick to be real.
  3424. Anon was instantly worried about what this mess of a pony could have.
  3425.  
  3426. “Good afternoon, Silver Tongue. What do you have for the Court?”
  3427.  
  3428. “A business proposition, Your Highness. Something I think you might find to be
  3429. most interesting.”
  3430.  
  3431. He then pulled an old, yellowing newspaper from the pocket of his coat. “Tell
  3432. me, Prince, does this look familiar?”
  3433.  
  3434. Anon’s heart instantly began to hammer wildly, and he swallowed hard. “Yes, it
  3435. does.”
  3436.  
  3437. “Fascinating articles, aren’t they?” Silver went on, with an evil grin spreading
  3438. over his face. “The Salt Lick Picayune has some top-notch reporters. But, I must
  3439. say I found this article on page B5 to most revelatory.”
  3440.  
  3441. “Anon?” Celestia was looking at her husband in deep worry. “What is all this?”
  3442.  
  3443. “Ah, I was wondering if you had told her about this. Princess, I’m afraid your
  3444. golden knight has a bit of tarnish on his armor. He—”
  3445.  
  3446. His mouth kept moving, but a sudden golden shield prevented his words from
  3447. getting out. It took him a moment to realize this, but then he glared most
  3448. ferociously at the Princess.
  3449.  
  3450. “I don’t want to hear another word from this petitioner for right now,” she
  3451. said. “Captain Armor, keep him right there until we return.”
  3452.  
  3453. “Ma’am!” His salute was crisp and clean, and the shield changed from gold to
  3454. purple.
  3455.  
  3456. Anon was then pretty extra sure he was going to throw up as Celestia turned back
  3457. to him.
  3458.  
  3459. “We need to talk.” > 23. - Bad Anon >
  3460. --------------------------------------------------------------------------
  3461.  
  3462. Anon was having a hard time.
  3463.  
  3464. He was having a hard time seeing. His vision had gone unfocused and blurry, and
  3465. he was pretty extra sure the tears were a contributing factor. There wasn’t much
  3466. before him now other than outlines, vague shapes and grayscale colors.
  3467.  
  3468. He was having a hard time walking. His feet felt as heavy as lead, his ankles
  3469. shackled, double-bound and burning with a Tartarus spawned fire that he wasn’t
  3470. sure would ever be quenched.
  3471.  
  3472. His hearing was totally shot. He wasn’t sure if anyone was speaking, but it
  3473. wouldn’t have mattered. All he could hear was a thrumming, pulsing woosh that
  3474. was steadily increasing in pressure, not volume.
  3475.  
  3476. His mouth felt cold; the taste on his tongue raw and metallic. His jaw was
  3477. locked and his teeth were pressed so hard together that there was a distinct
  3478. possibility they would start to chip, crack and deform. His throat was as dry as
  3479. his beloved’s sun, and…
  3480.  
  3481. Oh, his beloved! He stumbled, staggered, nearly fell and somehow recovered as
  3482. the mere thought of his one above all nearly made his heart burst. He didn’t
  3483. know how to get through this, how to tell her. He didn’t know if he could tell
  3484. her.
  3485.  
  3486. He wished Luna would take pity and simply dump a meteor on top of him. That pain
  3487. would be less.
  3488.  
  3489. He wasn’t even sure of where he was at the moment. Had Celestia teleported him
  3490. out, or had he walked? Was he still in the palace, or even in Canterlot? Was he
  3491. in a hallway? Did it even matter?
  3492.  
  3493. It was at the peak of his despair that he felt something begin to sweep over
  3494. him. There was a softness over his heavy back, and a sweetness for his sour
  3495. nose. He felt surrounded by warmth, lifted by light, touched by kindness and
  3496. delivered by understanding.
  3497.  
  3498. “I love you, Anonymous.”
  3499.  
  3500. That penetrated. Through the haze, through the weight, through the darkness and
  3501. the sadness, through the unyielding crush of horror, that celestial voice
  3502. touched his soul and provided the love and the will to conquer this.
  3503.  
  3504. “I love you too,” he whispered.
  3505.  
  3506. “You’re not alone in this, my Anon. I am here, with you and for you. Forever
  3507. will I be by your side, and forever will you have my support. Whatever this is,
  3508. we will conquer it together.”
  3509.  
  3510. “You’ll hate me,” he replied, and he licked his teeth and lips in a vain effort
  3511. to remove the blasted, searing metallic torture from his tongue. “You’re going
  3512. to throw me out, and I’ll lose the greatest thing that has ever happened or
  3513. could ever happen to me.”
  3514.  
  3515. “I don’t think you’re capable of such a crime,” she replied. “Not from what I’ve
  3516. seen of you. Your disposition is one of harmony and peace. You will not be
  3517. weighed in the balance for this, nor will I ever find you wanting.”
  3518.  
  3519. Anon fell to his knees, but Celestia fell with him. Nothing was said, but much
  3520. was shared as Anon buried his face in her silken fur and simply wept.
  3521.  
  3522. It was here, in this place and in this time, that Anonymous began to comprehend
  3523. what Love really was and what it really meant. This was a moment that would
  3524. forever define all other moments that came after it.
  3525.  
  3526. And this changed Anonymous. He could sense that he would never fully know or
  3527. understand the how, but he knew he could never be what he once was.
  3528.  
  3529. He had no idea how long it took him to regain enough composure to face her. Once
  3530. he did, however, he sucked in a sob of delight when he found a magenta pair of
  3531. eyes penetrating the gray that had seized his vision.
  3532.  
  3533. “When you are ready, my dear Anon.”
  3534.  
  3535. “I don’t even know how to begin. It’s… I just…”
  3536.  
  3537. Her nose softy touched his. “I have found it is best to just spit it out.”
  3538.  
  3539. He went with that. “I was fifteen. I had just tried out for and gotten a spot on
  3540. the long distance track team, and I was eager to get to know the other ponies. I
  3541. had joined with the hopes of getting some relief from my failures in cooking,
  3542. but that’s besides the point.
  3543.  
  3544. “There was a team meeting the Friday after I joined. I eagerly went, hoping to
  3545. make a good first impression, and at first everypony was cool. We went over some
  3546. team news, when training and practice would be, and what was expected. I knew I
  3547. wouldn’t be a strong competitor, but I did give the team enough bodies to
  3548. compete so it didn’t matter. And then…”
  3549.  
  3550. His head dipped until his nose was nearly on the floor. “Then it happened.” He
  3551. paused, and sniffed loudly.
  3552.  
  3553. “Tell me, please,” Celestia whispered.
  3554.  
  3555. “It was a hazing. I was… well. I grew up around alcohol, used it all the time in
  3556. cooking. I knew full well what it did to a person, how it reacted. I can tell
  3557. you how long it would take a person to get drunk, simply based on how much they
  3558. had.
  3559.  
  3560. “And then, I found myself sitting there, watching in disbelief as the team
  3561. captain began passing out the liquor he’d stolen from home. It was whiskey
  3562. mostly, from what I remember. The largest bottle was passed to me, and I was
  3563. told that in order to finalize my place on the team, I had ten minutes to drink
  3564. the whole thing.
  3565.  
  3566. “It was impossible, and I knew it. There was no way anyone could drink that much
  3567. that fast. I told them so, refused to take any part of it, and then started to
  3568. leave.”
  3569.  
  3570. His tears began to fall against his will, but he fought through them. “But then
  3571. Swift Hoof, that idiot, he popped up. While the others jeered at me, he talked
  3572. me into staying, and he told me they were desperate and couldn’t afford the
  3573. loss. He reassured me it was just a dumb prank, and that I just needed to drink
  3574. as much as I could, throw up or get sick and let them laugh at me. He… he told
  3575. me they’d all done it when they’d joined, and it’s been done for decades. Just a
  3576. harmless stunt. Nothing could go wrong. They’d respect me for doing it after.
  3577. He…he…”
  3578.  
  3579. Anon shuddered fiercely. “The final nail was when he offered to match me, ounce
  3580. for ounce. He didn’t mind if they laughed at him too. He was the one who had
  3581. encouraged me to join the team, so he was willing to help me get through the
  3582. last part.
  3583.  
  3584. “I caved,” he stated, with a note of such disgust that it hung in the air,
  3585. putrid and festering. “I knew I shouldn’t, and I did. I took that bottle, I took
  3586. a glass, I poured out a shot, and I downed it.
  3587.  
  3588. “Things get muddled and fuzzy at that point. I honestly don’t remember how much
  3589. I drank, or really what happened. There was lots of laughing and I’m pretty sure
  3590. I threw up two or three times, but that’s about it. There’s nothing else.
  3591.  
  3592. “When I came to, I was in a jail cell. The police had found me behind the trash
  3593. cans at school, with a couple of empty whiskey bottles nearby, and Swift Hoof…”
  3594.  
  3595. Anon couldn’t talk for a moment. The emotion was just too much.
  3596.  
  3597. “Alcohol poisoning, they said. He, um...”
  3598.  
  3599. “That wasn’t your fault, my love.” Celestia’s wing pulled him in tighter, and
  3600. peace began to fight back against his depression. “What happened is as plain as
  3601. the nose on your face.”
  3602.  
  3603. “I’ve never been able to believe that,” he whispered. “He took the drinks
  3604. because of me. If I hadn’t… if I had just…”
  3605.  
  3606. “Anonymous, the what if game is a horrible game to play,” Celestia said, and he
  3607. felt her gentle touch lift his chin up so his eyes could meet hers. “If your
  3608. case had come before me, you would have been innocent. You did not force Swift
  3609. Hoof to join you, his choice was his own. Your choice was a foolish one, but it
  3610. was one brought about from the pressure of others. How many fifteen year olds
  3611. have done similar things in an effort to fit in?”
  3612.  
  3613. “But I knew better. I should have left, and I didn’t.”
  3614.  
  3615. “Perhaps. But are you sure Swift Hoof would have left with you? He might have
  3616. stayed and this all would have happened anyway.”
  3617.  
  3618. “It was my fault.”
  3619.  
  3620. “Anonymous, that may or may not be.” Celestia said in soft but firm tones. “What
  3621. truly matters is what you have done since then. Has your life been one of deceit
  3622. and criminal activity, or has it been honest and clean?”
  3623.  
  3624. “It’s been clean. I never had a desire to be a criminal and this incident
  3625. further drove it in.”
  3626.  
  3627. “Then you have learned, and you have grown because of it. Blaming yourself for
  3628. what happened will accomplish nothing. Making things better will.
  3629.  
  3630. “Let me tell you a story; one you may have heard before. There was once a
  3631. princess who neglected and ignored her younger sister for so long that her
  3632. jealousy turned her into a monster that was bent on destroying the sun and
  3633. bringing about an eternal night. Sound familiar?”
  3634.  
  3635. “A little.” He had to chuckle.
  3636.  
  3637. “If you add it all up, I have probably spent centuries pondering what I could
  3638. have done differently; how what happened to Luna was my fault. I was the one who
  3639. neglected her, and the argument can be made that I created Nightmare Moon with
  3640. my callousness.
  3641.  
  3642. “But Luna was the one who chose to turn to her anger. Whatever my part in it
  3643. was, it was ultimately her choice to do what she did. I did not force the
  3644. Nightmare upon her. She took it on herself. And whatever your part is, Swift
  3645. Hoof made his choice. Learn from it, and be better because of it.”
  3646.  
  3647. There was a pause as Anon closed his eyes and contemplated this. When they
  3648. opened again Celestia felt a wave of happiness when she saw the same joy
  3649. reflected in his face.
  3650.  
  3651. “How do you do that?” he quietly chuckled.
  3652.  
  3653. She booped his nose with hers. “I look at the inside of someone, and I try to
  3654. see what they really are. I then simply help them to see it too.”
  3655.  
  3656. “Thank you.”
  3657.  
  3658. She pulled back a bit and gave him a compassionate smile. “You are welcome. So
  3659. how does this incident end?”
  3660.  
  3661. He drew in a long breath. “Despite the urging of my parents and my attorney, I
  3662. plead guilty to the charges. I was sentenced to probation and community service,
  3663. and that newspaper article the tweed menace has is the article about my
  3664. conviction.
  3665.  
  3666. “However, a week later the team came forward and confessed. They had panicked
  3667. when Swift Hoof had passed out and stopped breathing, and they had taken both of
  3668. us to the school and made it look like it was just me and him.
  3669.  
  3670. “The captain of my team eventually received my sentence, but we all voluntarily
  3671. agreed to take community service as punishment. My conviction was expunged and
  3672. erased, and I felt so horrible about the whole thing that I just suppressed it
  3673. and forced myself to forget it. My parents never brought it up again, and
  3674. neither did anypony on the team, so we just kinda moved on, I guess. That was
  3675. pretty much the end of it there.”
  3676.  
  3677. Celestia gave him another boop. “How did Swift Hoof’s family handle all of
  3678. this?”
  3679.  
  3680. “Hoo.” He blew out a breath. “Devastated, in a word. But yet, very forgiving;
  3681. far more than they should have been, in fact.”
  3682.  
  3683. “Did they ever blame you for what happened?”
  3684.  
  3685. He thought for several moments on that one. “No, no. They never blamed anyone.”
  3686.  
  3687. “Then don’t blame yourself either.”
  3688.  
  3689. “So you don’t hate me?”
  3690.  
  3691. She chuckled a bit. “No, my dear Anon. I don’t hate you. I am still very much in
  3692. love with you. But here is your chance to come clean; is there anything else
  3693. you’ve done that a pony could use against you? Are there any other misdeeds or
  3694. criminal activity that I need to know about?”
  3695.  
  3696. “I stole a candy bar from the corner market when I was four. Dad caught me and
  3697. had me pay it back.”
  3698.  
  3699. “Oh, well,” she huffed, and the feathers on her wings ruffled. “I certainly
  3700. can’t associate with a four-year-old candy thief.”
  3701.  
  3702. “I jaywalk on occasion. But only late at night, when I was trying to get home
  3703. before curfew.”
  3704.  
  3705. “You are one bad Anon.” She laughed.
  3706.  
  3707. “Rotten to the core.” He laughed with her. It was amazing how relieving and
  3708. ennobling that laugh was. “No, I’ve never been one to break the law. I haven’t
  3709. done anything else.”
  3710.  
  3711. “Good,” she replied. “I didn’t get the impression that you were that type.”
  3712.  
  3713. “So what do we do about Mister Tweedy?”
  3714.  
  3715. “It’s clear this is a blackmail attempt,” she replied as they both stood. Her
  3716. wing stayed over him, though, and Anon found they were in a hallway, but it was
  3717. noticeably devoid of anypony, even guards. “He probably wants a nice payoff to
  3718. stay quiet. The problem is that this can happen again; anypony who has a
  3719. newspaper from that time could eventually reveal this. However, I think there is
  3720. a way to resolve this once and for all. It may be rather painful for you,
  3721. though.”
  3722.  
  3723. “I’ll do whatever I need to do. Just tell me.”
  3724.  
  3725.  
  3726.  
  3727.  
  3728.  
  3729. Princess Celestia strode back into the throne room with her wings locked in the
  3730. full and upright position and with righteous indignation on her face. She was
  3731. secretly pleased, however, to find that Cadence, Shining Armor, and Luna were
  3732. all standing and glaring at Silver Tongue, and Luna was giving him the most
  3733. wonderfully intimidating stare she’d ever given in her life. He was trying to
  3734. glare back, but it was fairly obvious he was questioning this choice he’d made.
  3735. Six guards also stood around him, each with either their spear or their horn at
  3736. the ready and itching for an excuse to be used. Celestia glanced over all of
  3737. them quickly before nodding to Shining Armor.
  3738.  
  3739. “This is an outrage!” Silver Tongue shouted as soon as the shield came down. “I
  3740. have never been so insulted! I came here to—”
  3741.  
  3742. “Luna?” Celestia cut him off forcefully, but her stern stare remained on him.
  3743. “Tell me, what was the penalty for blackmail against the Crown, again?”
  3744.  
  3745. Luna grew a evil and decidedly demented grin. “Why, as I recall, the penalty was
  3746. fifty years on the racks, Sister. Or perhaps it was fifty years in the
  3747. stockades? I always get them mixed up. Perhaps we could do both, but at the same
  3748. time! That was always fun. Do you still have my iron maiden cabinet? I could
  3749. substitute that for the stocks, if need be, but it might be a little rusty.”
  3750.  
  3751. “You wouldn’t dare,” Silver Tongue shot back. “I’m not doing anything wrong. I’m
  3752. just looking to ‘educate’ the Princess before the press does.”
  3753.  
  3754. “Oh really,” Celestia replied. “And how much would this ‘education’ cost?”
  3755.  
  3756. “After having been treated so poorly, I do believe the offer should be
  3757. withdrawn.”
  3758.  
  3759. “A marvelous idea, because here is what is going to happen. You are hereby fined
  3760. five thousand bits and ordered to serve a month in the dungeons for attempted
  3761. blackmail against the crown.”
  3762.  
  3763. “I’ll go public with this!” Silver threatened while holding the newspaper out.
  3764. “The ponies of Equestria have a right to know the truth!”
  3765.  
  3766. “They do indeed,” Celestia replied. She then began inspecting one of her shoes
  3767. quite closely as she continued. “The funny thing is, when a new prince comes
  3768. into power, the press is, naturally, very eager to interview him. So, as we
  3769. speak, Prince Anon is preparing to sit down with a rather sizeable press pool
  3770. and to lay out his history before the ponies of Equestria. By this time
  3771. tomorrow, I anticipate that every newspaper in Equestria will have a nice,
  3772. full-length article about Prince Anon, and it will be a very detailed history.
  3773. In fact, I do quite anticipate that his arrest and conviction will be covered.”
  3774.  
  3775. This turned a few pairs of curious eyes to her.
  3776.  
  3777. “Sister?” Luna managed to ask first.
  3778.  
  3779. “Oh yes. But I also am quite sure that his subsequent exoneration will be
  3780. covered too.”
  3781.  
  3782. “What?” Silver Tongue finally cracked.
  3783.  
  3784. “You really should be a bit more thorough when you do your homework, Mister
  3785. Silver. It would help you to avoid any embarrassing decisions. Yes, Prince Anon
  3786. was eventually found to be innocent of the charges you found in that article. He
  3787. will confess to what happened anyway, and you will have no story to share. I’m
  3788. really disappointed that you thought bribery was a good idea, however. Are you
  3789. really so desperate for money that you have to stoop to this level?”
  3790.  
  3791. “I am a very successful used wagon salespony, thank you very much!” he shouted
  3792. again. “And when my lawyer hears about this, you’re—”
  3793.  
  3794. “You know,” considered Celestia thoughtfully, “if you had thought to bring this
  3795. before a lawyer first, you would have saved yourself a considerable sum. But
  3796. since you decided not to, let’s leave the lawyers out of it this time. Think of
  3797. it as an educational experience. Professor Shining Armor, would you take our new
  3798. pupil to his classroom?”
  3799.  
  3800. “Let’s go,” Shining ordered. Silver Tongue continued to protest loudly while he
  3801. was escorted out, but the spears and horns provided more than enough motivation
  3802. to keep moving.
  3803.  
  3804. Celestia then took a deep, cleansing breath. “Wysteria? Are there any more
  3805. petitioners?”
  3806.  
  3807. “About a dozen at the moment, yes,” the secretary replied, then looked over her
  3808. shoulder. “Well, three now. I think the rest of them got scared away.”
  3809.  
  3810. “Very well. Allow me fifteen minutes to inform Cadence and Luna of the
  3811. situation, and then we’ll resume.”
  3812.  
  3813.  
  3814.  
  3815.  
  3816.  
  3817. “How you holdin’ up, Anon?”
  3818.  
  3819. Anonymous gave a sad smile to Shining Armor as he sat in the chair next to him,
  3820. graciously took the pink lemonade Shining offered, and then he drew in a long
  3821. breath. “You still want to speak to the felon, eh?”
  3822.  
  3823. “Don’t do that to yourself. You were young, you made a dumb decision. I think
  3824. you’ve already paid the price for it.”
  3825.  
  3826. “I bet you never did anything this dumb.”
  3827.  
  3828. “Last day of Basic,” Shining immediately responded. “I was in a class of fifteen
  3829. cadets. We were looking forward to graduation, and one of the cadets offered to
  3830. take us all out for a round in celebration. I told him no first off, but he and
  3831. the others pushed and pushed until finally I joined in.
  3832.  
  3833. “Anon, that night we nearly drowned three good cadets, and seven were dismissed
  3834. from the Guard. I bet I felt about as low as you did when I had to go home and
  3835. explain to my folks and to Twily what had happened. My sister nearly killed me
  3836. with that look of disappointment all by itself. That moment changed me, Anon;
  3837. but one or two more shots and I would have been explaining to my Sarge why there
  3838. were dead ponies in my platoon. You’re not the only one. Most ponies, in my
  3839. experience, have made at least one serious blunder in their life. The trick is
  3840. you realized how stupid it was. There’s plenty of ponies who never wise up to
  3841. that fact, and just keep repeating the same mistake.”
  3842.  
  3843. Anon inhaled deeply. “I guess so. Y’know, it was strange, and yet kinda nice to
  3844. just lay it all out there. Telling the whole story to Celly and the reporters
  3845. was… liberating, I guess.”
  3846.  
  3847. “I’d say that’s a good sign,” Shining replied. “But now, leave it in the past.
  3848. Don’t be constantly dragging it back to the present; it won’t do any good. It
  3849. happened, yes. Acknowledge it if it comes up again, remember what you’ve learned
  3850. from it and then move on.”
  3851.  
  3852. Anon hummed for a moment while he thought about that, and his vision went up to
  3853. the evening sky. “I guess so. Can’t say I ever tried to destroy Celestia and
  3854. bring about an eternal night, so Luna still has me beat.”
  3855.  
  3856. “Yeah, exactly. But look at where she is now. Her past does not define her
  3857. present.”
  3858.  
  3859. “I never really understood why nopony gave her any attention back then. I know
  3860. there were a lot of monsters or whatever, but whenever I looked up at the night
  3861. sky when I was a boy I was amazed at what I saw.
  3862.  
  3863. “Then when she returned! I remember going out and looking at the stars that
  3864. first night after I heard she’d returned. I mean, no offense to my wife, but
  3865. Luna is the true Princess of the Night. The stars were… I’ve never been able to
  3866. fully describe it. It was some grand celestial dance, a waltz to a scale I could
  3867. never hope to fully comprehend.
  3868.  
  3869. “So, I guess if she could overcome then so can I. I bet there’s some whoppers
  3870. that Celly could lay on me from her past, too.”
  3871.  
  3872. “And yet she’s still our Princess,” Shining offered.
  3873.  
  3874. “As she should be.” Anon’s glass went into the air towards Shining in a toast.
  3875. “Here’s to being stupid and giving in to peer pressure.”
  3876.  
  3877. “Cheers.” Shining nodded his head, clinked his glass against Anon’s, and they
  3878. both took a long drink of the pink sweetness. “And here’s to never doing it
  3879. again.”
  3880.  
  3881. “Hear, hear.” Anon clinked his glass again, and another long drink was shared.
  3882. “Tell you what. Let’s move on to a happier subject. It would seem that your wife
  3883. made my wife very happy with those Bridleway tickets.”
  3884.  
  3885. “Aunt Celly loves anything that gets her out of the palace,” Shining replied.
  3886. “She also loves anything that gets her out among her ponies. She is a social
  3887. creature, so there will be a fair amount of socializing in your future. But I
  3888. would recommend you find ways to get her out and about: museums, musicals, art
  3889. exhibits. You could probably even take her out for Nightmare Night somewhere;
  3890. she really likes going to the smaller cities and sharing in their local
  3891. customs.”
  3892.  
  3893. “That totally makes sense. I was a little worried myself about being stuck in
  3894. the palace too.” He looked out over the veranda in thought. “And she’s never
  3895. seen Hinny of the Hills?”
  3896.  
  3897. “Scheduling conflicts. She has really, really wanted to though.”
  3898.  
  3899. “So I gathered.” Anon chuckled. “And dinner afterward?”
  3900.  
  3901. “Cadence left that part up to me. So, what do you think of this…”
  3902.  
  3903.  
  3904.  
  3905.  
  3906.  
  3907. “That’ll be perfect, Auntie Celestia,” Cadence gushed. “He’ll be astonished.”
  3908.  
  3909. “I hope so. He needs something nice after today. Lulu, are you going to come
  3910. too?”
  3911.  
  3912. “I fear I would be a fifth wheel in your festivities,” she replied.
  3913.  
  3914. “Not at all! We would love to have you,” Cadence replied.
  3915.  
  3916. “Well, if you insist.” The Lunar Diarch laughed a little at her niece’s
  3917. enthusiasm. “I have heard good things about the play, and I am mildly curious to
  3918. see it. If I will not be a burden, then I would like to come.”
  3919.  
  3920. “You are never a burden, dear sister.” Celestia gave her sister a quick hug. “It
  3921. will be most delightful to have you accompany us.”
  3922.  
  3923. “Good evening, Wysteria!” Cadence proclaimed as the faithful secretary entered
  3924. the room. “I thought you had gone home already.”
  3925.  
  3926. “I was just about to, but there was one thing I wanted to check on with Princess
  3927. Celestia.”
  3928.  
  3929. “And what is that?” Celestia asked.
  3930.  
  3931. “Anonymous had asked for a dossier to be compiled on… well, himself. There’s a
  3932. team of ponies heading to Salt Lick right now to investigate his past. I’m told
  3933. it will take about two to three weeks to have the full report back.”
  3934.  
  3935. “Thank you for telling me, Wysteria, I didn’t know he had done that. However,
  3936. let the team carry on. I believe the Prince is doing this to prove he has
  3937. nothing else to hide, both from me and from himself. I have full confidence that
  3938. their report will be very boring indeed.”
  3939.  
  3940. “I’m expecting that too.” Wysteria chuckled. “Good night, Your Highnesses.”
  3941.  
  3942. The Princesses all bid her good night, and Luna then stood and stretched her
  3943. wings while Wysteria showed herself out.
  3944.  
  3945. “I should attend to my duties as well. Celly, I’ll keep an eye on his dreams
  3946. tonight. He may relive the incident, and if he starts to I will help him through
  3947. it.”
  3948.  
  3949. “Thank you, Lulu. I wish you an uneventful evening.”
  3950.  
  3951. Luna then teleported away, leaving the two Princesses to look out at their
  3952. husbands on the veranda.
  3953.  
  3954. “I wonder what they’re planning,” Celestia remarked.
  3955.  
  3956. “Dinner for tomorrow, hopefully. Shining said he would take care of it.”
  3957.  
  3958. “Well, since Anon is helping him I would venture to say it will be a most
  3959. wonderful date. You and I are two very lucky mares.”
  3960.  
  3961. “Yes we are. Now we just need to work on Twilight! Are you totally sure your law
  3962. doesn’t apply to her? I could set her up quite nicely with a special somepony if
  3963. it did.”
  3964.  
  3965. “My dear Cadence,” Celestia replied on a haughty tone, “while it may have worked
  3966. out for me, a flower patch is no place to find a special somepony.”
  3967.  
  3968. “Oh!” Cadence pouted. “But it’s so much funnier doing it your way!”
  3969.  
  3970. “No, no, no!” Celestia replied in the midst of both of them laughing. “No
  3971. noses!” > 24. - I Saw The Future >
  3972. --------------------------------------------------------------------------
  3973.  
  3974. “Anon?” Celestia whispered into Anon’s ear with some trepidation.
  3975.  
  3976. “Hm?”
  3977.  
  3978. “Should I let you sleep longer?”
  3979.  
  3980. “Mm, no,” he replied. Celestia gently kissed his nose, and she felt a small
  3981. measure of relief when he chuckled. “Is it time to raise the sun?”
  3982.  
  3983. “Just about, yes. Are you sure you’re okay?” Celestia asked. “You were tossing
  3984. and turning all night.”
  3985.  
  3986. “Really, I am fine. I am a bit tired, perhaps, but I think I can shake that off
  3987. once I get moving.”
  3988.  
  3989. Celestia gave him a critical look. His answer had been given in a more subdued
  3990. and reserved tone than usual, and he had a contemplative and depressed demeanor
  3991. across his features. However, Celestia decided to accept his statement at face
  3992. value, and she said nothing as he trotted along obediently with her to the
  3993. balcony.
  3994.  
  3995. Of course, she could only stay silent for so long. “If I made pancakes, would
  3996. you like some?”
  3997.  
  3998. “I would,” he said, but without his usual eagerness. “But only a couple, I
  3999. think. I don’t feel very hungry right now.”
  4000.  
  4001. “I will make as many or as few as you like,” she replied, and he gave her an
  4002. attempt at a bigger smile that died out almost as soon as it started.
  4003.  
  4004. Anon’s misery clung to Celestia’s heart with a gloom she could not shake off. It
  4005. was as plain as dawn that he was depressed, but what was the answer to
  4006. overcoming it? She missed his smiles, and most of all, his constant attempts to
  4007. cook his way into her heart.
  4008.  
  4009. “You seem sad today, my love,” she offered.
  4010.  
  4011. “I do?” Anon did not turn to her as she wanted, but looked out toward the
  4012. eastern hills. “I never could hide my emotions from you. I am a little
  4013. depressed, I guess. I think I just need a little bit of time is all.”
  4014.  
  4015. “This is about yesterday, isn’t it?” she asked, and he nodded once.
  4016.  
  4017. “You should have known before. You should have heard that part of my past from
  4018. me first, not Silver Tongue.”
  4019.  
  4020. “Is that why you asked Wysteria to do a background check?”
  4021.  
  4022. “I want to make sure,” he replied. “No more surprises.”
  4023.  
  4024. “I hope you can surprise me a little sometimes,” she offered with a half grin.
  4025.  
  4026. That got a small smirk out of him. “Okay, I walked into that one. I always want
  4027. to be honest with you. This way, there will be no doubt.”
  4028.  
  4029. “I see. You didn’t hurt me yesterday, you know. I never asked for a detailed
  4030. history of your past, so you didn’t deliberately deceive me. I don’t imagine you
  4031. go around introducing yourself to others with ‘Guess what? I’m a former felon!’”
  4032.  
  4033. “That’s an interesting way to break the ice,” he chuckled, and there was a note
  4034. of mirth in it. “But you’re right. I just… I just feel bad that you found out
  4035. about my dubious history from a slick tweed jacket, not me.”
  4036.  
  4037. “Well, it is past us now,” she replied, and her horn lighted. “And just like how
  4038. my sunrise comes from the sunset of yesterday, we both get a new day from the
  4039. previous, one that will be much more enjoyable and filled with each other.”
  4040.  
  4041. “And I love that I have that,” he replied with a slightly larger smile. “With
  4042. you, I’ll be able to get through anything.”
  4043.  
  4044.  
  4045.  
  4046.  
  4047.  
  4048. Breakfast was a quiet affair for Anon that morning. Celestia was kind enough to
  4049. make pancakes for Shining and Cadence as well as for Anon, but his mood was
  4050. still recovering so he ate little and said less. Their time together was still
  4051. pleasant, however, and Cadence and Shining were somehow able to read his emotion
  4052. and give him some personal space, and he appreciated that they didn’t try to
  4053. push happiness on him. It would return, as it always did, and with Celestia
  4054. offering her love to him he just needed to soak it in for a bit and then he’d be
  4055. back to his old self.
  4056.  
  4057. After breakfast, Shining and Cadence excused themselves to allow some personal
  4058. time for Celestia and Anon, and for perhaps some more selfish reasons as well
  4059. when Anon thought about it. With most of the day now to themselves, Celestia did
  4060. ask Anon if there was anything he would like to do.
  4061.  
  4062. “I don’t know,” he replied in thoughtful tone. “What do you suggest?”
  4063.  
  4064. She gave him a warm smile. “Tell me, how is your book coming? Perhaps we can
  4065. work on that.”
  4066.  
  4067. “My book?” he asked. “Really? You want to work on that?”
  4068.  
  4069. “I do,” she replied. “What did you have planned for the second chapter?”
  4070.  
  4071. “Well, I… uh, I honestly don’t know. That’s where I really need the help, I
  4072. guess. I come up with a few good scenes, but I can’t connect them together.”
  4073.  
  4074. “I see,” she replied with a tilt of her head and a smile. “I do believe I can
  4075. help you make those connections.”
  4076.  
  4077. “You think so?” he asked, with a step in towards her. “And how would you help?”
  4078.  
  4079. “I have heard that I have inspired many poems and works of art,” she replied in
  4080. a deeply seductive tone. Her mane flowed over his chest and down his left side,
  4081. leaving him with a most pleasing technicolor view. “So, by my astounding powers
  4082. of inference, it stands to reason that I can inspire you as well.”
  4083.  
  4084. “I like this line of thought,” he replied softly, but with his eagerness
  4085. returning in each syllable. “Go on.”
  4086.  
  4087. “Of course, proper inspiration takes time.” She brushed up against his neck,
  4088. moving closer.
  4089.  
  4090. “We’ve got time.” He leaned back and began to lift his head. “All the time you
  4091. want.”
  4092.  
  4093. “And then, with you thusly inspired by your beautiful wife—” her lips snuck in
  4094. closer to his “—you will then write prose that will shake the heavens…”
  4095.  
  4096. “Um, Your Highnesses?”
  4097.  
  4098. “I’ll turn her into a potted plant,” Celestia threatened in a low and guttural
  4099. whisper. “Just watch me. She’ll be a nice ficus that we can put on our balcony
  4100. so she gets plenty of sunlight.”
  4101.  
  4102. “I’m sorry to interrupt, ma’am, but Captain Armor needs to speak with Prince
  4103. Anon immediately,” Sergeant Clover Leaf offered. “There’s been some sort of
  4104. complication with the reservations.”
  4105.  
  4106. “Naturally,” Celestia replied with only a hint of annoyance, and then she let
  4107. out a sigh so heavy the sun was in danger of being pulled off course. “You
  4108. better go see what’s going on.”
  4109.  
  4110. Anon nodded sadly and followed the good sergeant out of the room, but Celestia
  4111. watched him—or more specifically, his backside, and that ass!—as he left, and
  4112. she bit her lower lip.
  4113.  
  4114. “Soon, my love. Soon.”
  4115.  
  4116.  
  4117.  
  4118.  
  4119.  
  4120. “So everything has been taken care of?” Celestia asked while they walked.
  4121.  
  4122. “For now. Let’s try to kiss again; that’ll tell us for sure.”
  4123.  
  4124. She giggled at this, and leaned her head towards him. “Can you kiss and walk at
  4125. the same time?”
  4126.  
  4127. “Probably not,” he replied with a snort of humor. “It would be a shame if I got
  4128. hurt and we had to cancel tonight. I’m really looking forward to it.”
  4129.  
  4130. “You are?” she asked in amusement, and he nodded.
  4131.  
  4132. “I’ve said it before: there are people who would do almost anything to date you.
  4133. I am one of them. The more time I spend with you, the happier I am.”
  4134.  
  4135. “I can tell.” Celestia draped a wing around him and held her love against her
  4136. side, relishing the warmth and little embarrassed wriggles he made. “I’m glad I
  4137. can help you feel better.”
  4138.  
  4139. “Me too. Hopefully I can return the favor sometime.”
  4140.  
  4141. “There is no doubt in my mind that you will,” she said, with a quick nip of his
  4142. ear. “And when that time comes, I will be most grateful that it is you who will
  4143. help me.”
  4144.  
  4145. He nipped at her neck with that, and she giggled like a schoolfilly but made no
  4146. effort to stop him. The two of them continued to share laughs and nips until
  4147. they reached their drawing room, but Celestia got the final blow in as she bit
  4148. him on the butt a little harder than she wanted as he entered.
  4149.  
  4150. Anon hopped forward and let out a rather undignified squeak of alarm, leaving
  4151. him blushing furiously again from Celestia’s sneaky assault and his own
  4152. undignified response. Thankfully, Anon did receive a quick boop as payment for
  4153. enduring her enjoyable teasing, and the two of them shared a delighted smile.
  4154.  
  4155. “So, let’s work on that pesky chapter of yours.” Celestia settled into the
  4156. cushions, tucked her Love in her wing, and shuffled his papers in her magic.
  4157. “I’m afraid I don’t recall where you left off at, so I’ll… I’ll need to…”
  4158.  
  4159. One of the most delighted hums in the history of Equestria escaped out of
  4160. Celestia as Anon began gently stroking her feathers with his fingers. Purring
  4161. immediately followed, and Anon laughed a little as he worked.
  4162.  
  4163. “I heard once that one way to beat a mild bout of depression is to go out and do
  4164. something nice for someone else. Seems like whoever said that was on to
  4165. something.” One lone feather popped out of her wing as he rubbed, and he looked
  4166. it over for a moment before voicing another thought.
  4167.  
  4168. “Would you mind if I help preen your wings, my love?”
  4169.  
  4170. “I don’t mind one little itty bit,” she sighed in a dreamy bliss. “Preen away.”
  4171.  
  4172. “Quick technical question then: how?”
  4173.  
  4174. Anon loved hearing Celestia’s small laugh that came before her answer. “Since I
  4175. don’t fly all that often there shouldn’t be any broken ones. If you do find one
  4176. just give it a quick tug and it will come right out. It won’t hurt me either, so
  4177. don’t worry about that. Otherwise, just keep doing what you’re doing.”
  4178.  
  4179. “Gotcha.”
  4180.  
  4181. Anon worked softly and methodically on her wing, going over each inch and then
  4182. over the same inch again just to be sure. It was a relaxing affair for both of
  4183. them: Celestia was obviously in a state of serene peace and quiet enjoyment and
  4184. Anon found the gentle touch he was using felt oddly like he was bringing himself
  4185. into a balanced harmony. Once the underside was done, Celestia gently lifted her
  4186. wing to let him out, but then again relaxed into a blissful bundle of completely
  4187. relaxed princess as he worked and smoothed the upper feathers.
  4188.  
  4189. Anon then went top to bottom on her left wing, and there were several times he
  4190. wondered if he had put his wife to sleep. The steady pulse of her purr was both
  4191. tranquil and uplifting, so by the time he was finished his depression had been
  4192. completely banished. It was a zen unlike anything he’d ever felt before, but it
  4193. was also one he wanted to keep forever.
  4194.  
  4195. Anon then smiled brightly as he moved around to Celestia’s front. She blinked
  4196. her eyes rapidly for a second to reestablish her connection with reality, then
  4197. mirrored his smile back to him.
  4198.  
  4199. The simple “thank you” she offered held a far deeper and more intimate impact on
  4200. him than the words had any right to usually have.
  4201.  
  4202. “Y’know, I like this view,” he replied, and Celestia giggled a bit as he grabbed
  4203. his notebook and pencil. “Let’s see. ‘The Princess was lying on her stomach in a
  4204. relaxed and calm manner.  Her wings were fully extended and resting on the
  4205. cushions around her, and her legs were tucked in and folded to help her demure
  4206. look.’”
  4207.  
  4208. “Demure?” she asked.
  4209.  
  4210. “In the modest and reserved sense. Not a good choice?”
  4211.  
  4212. “Take a close look at me and then tell me I’m being demure.”
  4213.  
  4214. His heart took a skipping leap, and his breath hitched slightly. He eagerly
  4215. drank in the smooth and seductive lines of her form, the gentle and yet powerful
  4216. aura of her grace, and the pure appeal of her elegance.
  4217.  
  4218. “Maybe not demure,” he relented. “Coy would be better.”
  4219.  
  4220. She purred a little louder and treated him with an alluring tilt of her head.
  4221. “Coy?”
  4222.  
  4223. His head slowly came down towards the magnificence before him. “Coy. But since
  4224. my vocabulary is lacking, what would you recommend?”
  4225.  
  4226. “Kittenish,” she offered, with a tone in her voice that would make a siren
  4227. jealous of her abilities. “Coquettish in a way. Flirtatious even.”
  4228.  
  4229. “That last one I know,” he replied in a soft voice that was heavy with
  4230. anticipation. “Who would have thought that Princess Celestia could be so
  4231. flirtatious?”
  4232.  
  4233. He drew closer, two pairs of lips began to pucker yet again, but then they both
  4234. hesitated.
  4235.  
  4236. “Three…” Celestia offered.
  4237.  
  4238. “Two…” Anon added.
  4239.  
  4240. “One…” they said in unison.
  4241.  
  4242. Both of them pointed to the door, and on cue, a staccato burst of knocks
  4243. happened before Wysteria marched through it, her nose in her paperwork.
  4244.  
  4245. “I’m not quite sure why the universe is so against us kissing,” Celestia
  4246. remarked with a huff, and she pulled her wings back in.
  4247.  
  4248. “If I figure it out, I’ll let you know.” Anon offered a hand, and Celestia
  4249. gladly took it before she stood. “Maybe it will be so epic that every other kiss
  4250. will be put to shame.”
  4251.  
  4252. “I would love to see if that is true,” she replied with a light giggle.
  4253.  
  4254. “Your Highnesses,” Wysteria offered with tart terseness. “If I may interject for
  4255. a few minutes, I need you both to accompany me to the throne room so I can go
  4256. over the security details of this evening with both of you, Shining, Cadence,
  4257. and the assigned guards.”
  4258.  
  4259. “Is everything alright, Wysteria?” Celestia asked.
  4260.  
  4261. “Great! Fine! Never better! Just fine!” she snapped back. “Please follow me.”
  4262.  
  4263. Celestia glanced up at Anon as Wysteria turned and began leaving. His look of
  4264. confusion matched how she felt, and they both shrugged at each other before
  4265. falling in line behind her.
  4266.  
  4267.  
  4268.  
  4269.  
  4270.  
  4271. “…Clover Leaf and Hokey Pokey will maintain their positions here. Once the meal
  4272. is complete you will be escorted to the secured area of Saddle Park for a
  4273. standard meet-and-greet, which will end promptly at eight fifteen. You will all
  4274. then be escorted to the theater where your evening will conclude in what will
  4275. be, without a doubt, a most lovely and entertaining time.”
  4276.  
  4277. That had to be one of the most straightforward and clipped security summaries
  4278. Celestia had ever heard. One eyebrow was firmly in the ‘up’ category as she
  4279. regarded her secretary, who was shuffling her papers in her magic and giving a
  4280. wilting glare to one Corporal Quillpoint, who was posted at the door.
  4281.  
  4282. “Provided the Prince doesn’t avoid you the next day,” she muttered with a growl.
  4283. Her papers tapped on her clipboard, but her eyes remained on the guard, and
  4284. there was the threat that he would be frozen into a large guardcicle.
  4285.  
  4286. The hapless Quillpoint’s ears splayed back with the icy not-looking from the
  4287. secretary, and despite his efforts to maintain his composure, his face showed a
  4288. great deal of guilt and remorse. His jaw kept tightening and relaxing, as if he
  4289. was trying to offer a rebuttal to Wysteria’s remarks but was unable to do so by
  4290. virtue of his current guard status. While it was clear to most of the ponies in
  4291. the room that Wysteria’s clipped comments were intended to refer to herself and
  4292. to him, nopony dared to interject and risk the ire of the mare who had been
  4293. scorned.
  4294.  
  4295. Nopony except one.
  4296.  
  4297. “I believe we will skip the why on that one and go straight to how Prince Anon
  4298. would manage such a feat,” Celestia stated.
  4299.  
  4300. “Oh, no. He wouldn’t,” Wysteria replied, seeming to shake herself out the brief
  4301. slump. “My apologies. This will, undoubtedly, be a wonderful night for you both.
  4302. Romantic. Magical. Magnetic. It will be fine.” She trailed off, and the papers
  4303. began to shuffle again.
  4304.  
  4305. Celestia could not help but notice the confused glance that Anon and Shining
  4306. exchanged. She had a sneaking suspicion about what was going on, but it would be
  4307. best if Wysteria and Quillpoint could work it out for themselves without any
  4308. Royal nudging. After all, Wysteria had never been this sour or snippy in her
  4309. years of service, and Quill was a sensible stallion or he would never have
  4310. become a guard. All she needed to do was wait…
  4311.  
  4312. Corporal Quillpoint, after just a brief moment, cleared his throat. “Captain
  4313. Armor, sir?”
  4314.  
  4315. “Yes, Corporal?”
  4316.  
  4317. “Permission to speak freely, sir?”
  4318.  
  4319. “Granted,” Shining said with a great deal of interest. “What is it?”
  4320.  
  4321. “Well, I just wanted to say that Prince Anon and Princess Celestia will enjoy
  4322. their time together, I’m sure. I mean, everything had been planned out so well
  4323. that I’m sure it couldn’t be anything but. I bet they will have deep, meaningful
  4324. conversations and will make a great connection with each other.”
  4325.  
  4326. “If that’s true, why would he ignore her afterward?” Wysteria shot back before
  4327. anypony else could reply. “Why would he be so aloof?”
  4328.  
  4329. All doubt was removed at that point as to what was really going on, even for
  4330. Anon. Shining inhaled deeply and prepared himself to take over as Captain.
  4331.  
  4332. Thankfully, Cadence stepped in. One petite pink hoof flashed faster than the eye
  4333. could see until it was resting delicately across Shining Armor’s lips before he
  4334. could utter the first word. True to his training as a husband and a guard,
  4335. Shining gave each alicorn a sideways glance, took in the slow head shaking they
  4336. were both doing, and stayed shut up.
  4337.  
  4338. “Maybe… maybe he,” the Corporal glanced down at his hooves in embarrassment
  4339. “Prince Anon, that is, maybe he would have such a great time that he would think
  4340. about getting her flowers the next day, and then deliver them by hoof to her
  4341. office.”
  4342.  
  4343. “You were going to get me flowers?” Wysteria asked, all pretenses at third pony
  4344. references being dropped immediately with her melting heart.
  4345.  
  4346. “They need to talk this out,” Anon whispered to Celestia. “Why don’t we step out
  4347. of the room for a moment?”
  4348.  
  4349. “Not on your life.”
  4350.  
  4351. Anon glanced down to her just as she glanced up to him, and a small smirk
  4352. appeared on his face.
  4353.  
  4354. “What?” she asked. “This concerns us and our plans for tonight.”
  4355.  
  4356. “Well, yeah,” Quillpoint went on, oblivious to the Royal whispering. “But… but
  4357. then the Prince talked to some of his buddies at the barracks, and they said
  4358. that would look really… well, really desperate? Needy?”
  4359.  
  4360. Anon was completely sure he heard the mares nearest to him gasp at the audacity
  4361. of the advice. He was also mostly sure that the female guards in the room had
  4362. gasped as well.
  4363.  
  4364. The poor Corporal looked like he’d rather sit on a halberd at that point, but he
  4365. gave Prince Anon and Prince Armor a desperate look. “I mean, it does, doesn’t
  4366. it?”
  4367.  
  4368. Anon stood a bit taller, and his eyes widened in surprise. It was clear he
  4369. realized he was on extremely thin ice. He didn’t want to leave a brother
  4370. hanging, but he wasn’t sure what the appropriate answer should be. Maybe if he
  4371. faked a heart attack, or a sudden onset of laryngitis…
  4372.  
  4373. “Uh… maybe?” he replied half-heartedly and with trepidation. “A little? I mean,
  4374. maybe you should have brought them to the second date, but not deliver them?”
  4375.  
  4376. “Not quite the best answer,” Celestia whispered kindly in his ear. “Corporal
  4377. Quillpoint, there is nothing desperate about giving a nice mare flowers. It
  4378. shows us that you enjoyed the time together, and none of us would see it as
  4379. needy. I’m sure Wysteria—I mean, ‘the Princess’—would greatly appreciate such a
  4380. kind gesture and would also see it as a sign that ‘Prince Anon’ wanted to meet
  4381. with her again.”
  4382.  
  4383. “Really?” Quillpoint asked. “You? You really would? That wouldn’t be too
  4384. forward?”
  4385.  
  4386. “No!” Wysteria replied with a tear and a smile. She quickly trotted over to the
  4387. astonished guard and threw one arm around his armored neck. “Not at all! I
  4388. thought we had something good going, and the flowers would have sealed the deal!
  4389. I love flowers!”
  4390.  
  4391. “Corporal, why don’t you take twenty minutes and go discuss this in private,
  4392. eh?” Captain Armor said with a smirk. “I think we can survive without you for
  4393. that long.”
  4394.  
  4395. “Yes sir! Thank you sir!” Quillpoint immediately offered, and he laughed a
  4396. little with Wysteria as they made their way out into the hallway.
  4397.  
  4398. There was a bit of laughter from the Princesses with this turn of events, but
  4399. Anon leaned over to Shining with an urgent question. “So, we’re going to need to
  4400. get Celly and Cady flowers, aren’t we?”
  4401.  
  4402. Shining smiled and put a hoof on Anon’s legs. “No. Anon, my friend, we are
  4403. blessed with the opportunity to get them flowers.”
  4404.  
  4405. Anon nodded slowly as he thought for a moment. “Two dozen, do you think?”
  4406.  
  4407. “Anon, you can never have too many flowers. They are a delight for the eyes, a
  4408. sweet scent for the nose, and a treat for the tongue, and we are talking about
  4409. princesses here. We need three dozen per wife at a minimum.”
  4410.  
  4411.  
  4412.  
  4413.  
  4414.  
  4415. “That was strange,” Anon remarked, as he and his wife walked back into the
  4416. drawing room.
  4417.  
  4418. “Perhaps,” Celestia said with a nod. “But in my experience, love defies
  4419. normality. It has a way of overwhelming and consuming normal, and then it leaves
  4420. normal laying in a ditch somewhere wondering what hit it. With Cadence giving
  4421. them some guidance⁽*⁾ I think Quillpoint and Wysteria will have a very happy
  4422. relationship.”
  4423.  
  4424. ⁽*⁾To be honest, keeping Cadence from giving romantic assistance to the castle
  4425. staff was a constant issue, particularly among the rapidly vanishing species of
  4426. bachelors.
  4427.  
  4428. “I think so too. So, since we’re on the subject and it seems like something that
  4429. I really should know, what are your favorite flowers?”
  4430.  
  4431. “Oh, I don’t know that I have a favorite,” she tittered. “I like all different
  4432. types. Though, if I had to admit it, I think sunflowers are making a bold move
  4433. up my list.”
  4434.  
  4435. “Oh really?” he laughed, as he sat but she remained standing. “I guess I could
  4436. see why. Though I have heard some ponies call it a weed.”
  4437.  
  4438. “If it isn’t cultivated and properly cared for, perhaps. But if treated kindly,
  4439. given good soil and lots of sunshine a sunflower can be a very remarkable flower
  4440. indeed. It just needs a little help, that’s all.”
  4441.  
  4442. “Good thing there are excellent gardeners around here,” he replied, and she
  4443. moved in a bit closer and started to dip her head towards him again. “Some
  4444. sunflowers might need a bit more attention than others.”
  4445.  
  4446. “Ah, but those often turn out to be the most wonderful sunflowers of all.
  4447. Potential is not defined by how much help one needs.”
  4448.  
  4449. “I’m very glad it’s not,” he replied as she inched ever closer. His world was
  4450. quickly becoming awash in Celestial pastels again and he loved it. “And I’m also
  4451. very glad that the gardener is such a beautiful one, and that she is kind, and
  4452. patient—”
  4453.  
  4454. His lips again began to move to hers, and his heart hammered wildly in
  4455. anticipation.
  4456.  
  4457. “—and forgiving, and willing to stay with the sunflower through anything…”
  4458.  
  4459. “Knock knock!” Shining’s voice came through the door, as he did what he said.
  4460. Celestia let out a very strong nicker of annoyance while she retreated back, and
  4461. there was a chance her glare would burn through the door and pierce the
  4462. interruptor on the other side, nephew or not.
  4463.  
  4464. “GAAH!” That was it! Anonymous stood up, took Celestia’s cheeks in his hands,
  4465. pulled her in quickly and planted his lips dead square on hers.
  4466.  
  4467. There was a brief moment of shock for the Princess, but that almost
  4468. instantaneously disappeared as the whole of existence blissfully slid into
  4469. perfect insignificance. She embraced him, he embraced her, and there wasn’t a
  4470. thing that could have mattered more at that moment to either of them.
  4471.  
  4472. There was no language that could adequately describe what they felt right then,
  4473. no combination of letters or words or phrases that could give the full impact of
  4474. their state of being. Time became a distant irrelevance; space nothing more than
  4475. a fleeting inconvenience. There was a vain attempt by rationality to put a tidy
  4476. description to the event: euphoria, bliss, contentment, completeness, rapture,
  4477. exultance, joyfulness, fullness and pure love.
  4478.  
  4479. They were all miserable failures. The scope of the moment between the Anon and
  4480. the Princess was beyond transcendence itself.
  4481.  
  4482. When they did finally submit to reality’s rules again, Celestia and her Anon
  4483. found themselves in the arms of one another, and her wings were wrapped securely
  4484. and warmly around him. They both giggled, laughed, and then several quick pecks
  4485. were shared between them as they celebrated this momentous occurrence. It was
  4486. Celestia who, after a few moments of this, offered her one word summary of what
  4487. had happened.
  4488.  
  4489. “Wow!”
  4490.  
  4491.  
  4492.  
  4493.  
  4494.  
  4495. Celestia could hardly keep her fillyish laughter in. They’d kissed! They’d
  4496. kissed! And it was Anon, that delightful man, who had made the move!
  4497.  
  4498. He was a far better kisser than he let on. Celestia had done well indeed.
  4499.  
  4500. Sadly, kisses did not fill the belly, and Celestia had postulated to Anon that
  4501. Shining had been trying to ask them what they wanted for lunch. It had nearly
  4502. taken a crowbar to separate the two of them from each other’s lips, but hunger
  4503. had won out—as it always did—and Celestia had told Anon to work on his book
  4504. while she went and procured food for them.
  4505.  
  4506. However, Celestia heard another giggling noise from somewhere down the hallway,
  4507. and curiosity set her in motion towards it.
  4508.  
  4509. It didn’t take long to find the source. In a small alcove near Luna’s room she
  4510. found two ponies, two whom she had hoped could reconcile their differences, and
  4511. she almost burst with happiness when she saw what they were doing.
  4512.  
  4513. Corporal Quillpoint was standing close to Wysteria with a easygoing smile, and
  4514. she was running her hooves up and down his breastplate while gazing into his
  4515. eyes. Somehow his helmet had ended up on her head, thus breaking the look-alike
  4516. enchantment and allowing Celestia to see his natural coloring. He had his own
  4517. set of charms, she supposed, and she could understand why Wysteria was
  4518. interested in him, but he didn’t come anywhere near the good looks of her Anon.
  4519.  
  4520. With a smirk, Celestia cleared her throat loudly and then gave the two of them a
  4521. playfully stern look as both of them went flush with embarrassment.
  4522.  
  4523.  
  4524.  
  4525.  
  4526. “Well!” Wysteria quickly tried to work her way out of the situation, and she
  4527. began rubbing her fetlock on his armor. “I’ll let this little violation in your
  4528. uniform slide this time, but I expect you to be perfect the next time I see you.
  4529. You’re a Royal Guard, so you should always look the part.”
  4530.  
  4531. “Yes, ma’am. A thousand apologies, ma’am. Won’t happen again.”
  4532.  
  4533. “Very well,” Wysteria sternly said, and she took a step back and Celestia
  4534. giggled furiously behind a hoof. “You’re dismissed. Carry on.”
  4535.  
  4536. “’I’m afraid I can’t do that, ma’am.”
  4537.  
  4538. “What? Why?” she asked him quickly under her breath.
  4539.  
  4540. “I need my helmet back.”
  4541.  
  4542. “Oh.”
  4543.  
  4544. Celestia nearly fell over laughing as Wysteria quickly removed and returned
  4545. Quillpoint’s helmet. Once the enchantment had settled in again he saluted to
  4546. Celestia, gave a wink and a nod to Wysteria, and then left with a slight spring
  4547. in his step.
  4548.  
  4549. “Well!” Wysteria quickly made sure her collar was straight as her horn lit and
  4550. retrieved her clipboard. “Let me see. I have your itinerary here, and everything
  4551. looks acceptable, except I haven’t heard back from the courier on—”
  4552.  
  4553. She dared to glance up at the princess, who was giving her a smug smile. “—on
  4554. the final…uh, final reservations, and… and please don’t fire me.”
  4555.  
  4556. “I wouldn’t dare. I can’t find my own tail without you,” Celestia replied in a
  4557. soft and understanding voice.
  4558.  
  4559. “I didn’t mean for that to happen. We were just discussing what Princess Cadence
  4560. had told us, and then one thing kinda led to the other, and…”
  4561.  
  4562. “Is he a good kisser?”
  4563.  
  4564. Wysteria found her hooves to be immensely interesting all of a sudden. “Yes?”
  4565. she squeaked out.
  4566.  
  4567. “I am sure you will continue to perform your duties admirably, Wysteria. You are
  4568. dedicated and loyal, and I will again state that you are the finest secretary
  4569. I’ve ever had.”
  4570.  
  4571. Celestia held up a hoof. “But if you would like to talk about things that are of
  4572. a more personal nature, I am here for you as well. You are my friend, after all,
  4573. and as your friend I want to help you if I can.”
  4574.  
  4575. Wysteria looked back up at the princess with a sheepish grin. “Do you have any
  4576. good recommendations for a second date?”
  4577.  
  4578. “Walk with me.” Celestia laughed with Wysteria. “I just so happen to know of two
  4579. or three.” > 25. - Date Night >
  4580. --------------------------------------------------------------------------
  4581.  
  4582. “Celly, are you just about ready? Wysteria just knocked on the door and gave me
  4583. a look that either meant ‘you’re running late’ or ‘I’m feeling bloated.’”
  4584.  
  4585. “I certainly hope it’s the former,” Celestia said with a giggle. “I’m almost
  4586. done.”
  4587.  
  4588. Anon was eager to see her dress. She had been teasingly vague about what she had
  4589. selected, with no information other than it was one from a previous Grand
  4590. Galloping Gala and that he would like it; but since it was Celestia he was
  4591. pretty extra sure she’d be stunning.
  4592.  
  4593. Though he hoped it wasn’t brown. He had yet to see a brown dress pulled off
  4594. properly.
  4595.  
  4596. “So, how many dresses do you have?” he asked, mostly to make conversation while
  4597. he waited. He was admiring the way the light reflected off his Celestial Crystal
  4598. as the reply came.
  4599.  
  4600. “Believe it or not, I actually only have about a dozen or so. Every now and then
  4601. I round them all up and sell them at a charity auction for the low-income
  4602. families in Canterlot. They use the money to help with housing and meals and
  4603. educational needs.”
  4604.  
  4605. “That is pretty cool,” he replied while trying to imagine how many wealthy
  4606. socialites would actually fit in one of Celestia’s dresses. Maybe they put them
  4607. on display, or had them drastically taken in.
  4608.  
  4609. “All right. I’m coming out. Don’t laugh.”
  4610.  
  4611. “Why in Equestria would… I….”
  4612.  
  4613. If there was even a miniscule part of him that maybe might have made him laugh
  4614. at her dress, it was quite thoroughly decimated when Anonymous beheld his wife.
  4615.  
  4616. And again, to say he was both speechless and blown away was an understatement to
  4617. a degree similar to saying the sun was a little warm.
  4618.  
  4619. It was a sky-blue dress that fit snugly around her barrel but then flared
  4620. slightly where it went over her haunches and flank in pleated folds. Across her
  4621. chest was snug as well, but the look was actually accented quite nicely by a
  4622. golden pendant and chain that hung loosely over her shoulders. The fabric was a
  4623. material Anon was unfamiliar with, but it was no doubt costly because it had
  4624. both a slight shimmer and small sparkle effect, making the whole thing gently
  4625. beckon to him as she crossed the room.
  4626.  
  4627. “Well? Do you like it?” she asked.
  4628.  
  4629. “Duh… wuh… buh…”
  4630.  
  4631. She gave him a quick and gentle kiss. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
  4632.  
  4633. “I am so out of my league with you,” he finally remarked. “Really.”
  4634.  
  4635. “I wouldn’t say that,” she replied. “You have a great deal of charm yourself.”
  4636.  
  4637. “Yeah? Where?”
  4638.  
  4639. Celestia smiled and kissed his cheek. “Here. And here,” after she kissed the
  4640. other one. “Don’t sell yourself short, love. Your charm is very subtle. If I
  4641. blink, I could miss it. But when one takes the time, one finds a very pleasing
  4642. green man before her.”
  4643.  
  4644. Anon could feel his cheeks heat up to a rosy glow with her compliments, but he
  4645. could not complain. He was fairly sure his heart was about to burst with joy. He
  4646. twiddled one foot on the floor for a bashful moment but then offered a hand to
  4647. her. “Shall we, my princess?”
  4648.  
  4649. “Lead on, my prince,” she giggled, and she took him up on his offer.
  4650.  
  4651. They strode out of the bedroom side-by-side, hoof-in-hand and found Wysteria
  4652. impatiently waiting for them with a forced smile and and a furious tapping on
  4653. her clipboard.
  4654.  
  4655. “You both look nice, but we’re behind schedule,” she admonished. “The others are
  4656. waiting at the chariots for you. We need to hurry, unless you want to teleport
  4657. there.”
  4658.  
  4659. “You look nice too,” Anon offered.
  4660.  
  4661. Wysteria scoffed quite loudly. “No I don’t, but thank you.”
  4662.  
  4663. “No, he’s right,” Celestia added. “Black is a good color on you.”
  4664.  
  4665. “This is a ten bit swath of fabric I found on the clearance rack at a thrift
  4666. store. It’s as basic as you can get.”
  4667.  
  4668. “Sometimes the basic designs are the most flattering.”
  4669.  
  4670. Wysteria remained unconvinced, and her face showed it. “Well, whether or not
  4671. that it true, we need to move. I’ll debate it with you later.”
  4672.  
  4673. “I suppose that our opinion isn’t what really matters, after all. Somepony else
  4674. will be the one who makes the argument stick with our dear secretary.”
  4675.  
  4676. “Ah, you are quite right my love,” Anon cheerfully replied. “I wonder if he’s on
  4677. duty tonight.”
  4678.  
  4679. Anon saw Wysteria’s rock-solid stoicism falter for half a second, and her eyes
  4680. flitted to her trusty and faithful work tool. She obviously wanted to look. The
  4681. only question was if her will would hold out until after the Royal Couple was
  4682. out of sight, or if her resistance would crumble like cake.
  4683.  
  4684. “Go ahead and look,” encouraged Celestia with another giggle, providing an
  4685. irresistible push.
  4686.  
  4687. Wysteria was flipping the pages with the first syllable out of her boss’ mouth.
  4688.  
  4689. “He is assigned to you, isn’t he?”
  4690.  
  4691. “You did this, didn’t you?” Wysteria gave her employer a playful glare. “There’s
  4692. no way this just happened. Prince Shining could have expedited everything for
  4693. you, too. This is all too easy, too convenient.” She chewed on her bottom lip
  4694. for a moment, and her gaze went to the ground. “Should I have my mane up or
  4695. down?”
  4696.  
  4697. “Let it down,” Celestia replied. “You always have it up. Down shows you are
  4698. relaxed, comfortable, and willing to put work aside for a time.”
  4699.  
  4700. “Can you put yours up?” Anon asked while batting a curling bit of celestial mane
  4701. with one hoof.
  4702.  
  4703. “Wavy buns look very silly and the last time I did it all of the guards
  4704. laughed.”
  4705.  
  4706. Anon snickered at the thought of that as Wysteria quickly pulled out the pins
  4707. that held her hair up, and then began fussing with it to try and make it
  4708. presentable.
  4709.  
  4710. “Oh, go behind the ears,” Celestia offered. “Let him see your face and eyes.”
  4711.  
  4712. “Really?” Wysteria giggled happily. She did so, and both Anon and Celestia
  4713. nodded in approval.
  4714.  
  4715. “That is a good look.” Anon offered. “Classy, but casual too.”
  4716.  
  4717. “Thanks. Now move or we won’t get to see him!”
  4718.  
  4719. Wysteria practically began shoving them down the hallway, and the two complied
  4720. by moving up to a brisk jog with some laughter mixed in. Thankfully, the
  4721. secretary’s nerves were saved from further fraying by their rapid arrival at the
  4722. chariots, and the remaining Royals were simply chatting amongst themselves while
  4723. they waited.
  4724.  
  4725. Anon had to compare his own dashing look to Shining Armor, which only made him
  4726. more uncomfortable. Shining was wearing a fine red coat that was trimmed in
  4727. gold, white pearls and cufflinks, and a royal blue sash; but since Shining was
  4728. broader and had more muscle than Anon he filled the role of Prince better. That
  4729. depressing feeling of being an imposter crept back in as he glanced down at his
  4730. own blue sleeve, and he wondered if he should try adding some bulk to his own
  4731. frame.
  4732.  
  4733. Cadence was… well, pink. Anon would never say it aloud, but her dress was too
  4734. loose and frilly to be flattering and it was the same pink as her coat, so it
  4735. came across as an oversaturation to him. But, not his wife, not his problem. If
  4736. Shining liked it, then no other opinion mattered.
  4737.  
  4738. Anon did like Luna’s selection for the evening. He had expected her to go with
  4739. something in navy blue or black, but she had instead chosen a deep burgundy
  4740. color, and it highlighted her natural blues quite nicely. The train had more of
  4741. a straight and simple cut than Celestia’s, but the silver highlights along the
  4742. hem that matched her choice of a silver necklace made for a very elegant design.
  4743. She had also applied some silver eyeshadow to complete the look, and Anon
  4744. thought she looked quite nice indeed.
  4745.  
  4746. Celly looked better, though. By a wide margin, actually.
  4747.  
  4748. “About time you two showed up!” Shining joked. “We were getting ready to leave
  4749. without you!”
  4750.  
  4751. “I’d like to see you squeeze into this faster!” Celestia replied with a laugh.
  4752. “I could be ready in five minutes too if all I had to do is button a coat up.”
  4753.  
  4754. “I’m not even going to go there.” Shining chuckled.
  4755.  
  4756. “You were riding with us, right Lulu?”
  4757.  
  4758. “Indeed.” Luna nodded. “Someone needs to keep you two in line.”
  4759.  
  4760. “Schedule!” Wysteria admonished.
  4761.  
  4762.  
  4763. * * ✹ * *
  4764.  
  4765.  
  4766. Anonymous determined he liked flying.
  4767.  
  4768. Granted, he probably knew this before now, but he had just made it officially
  4769. official in his own mind. Flying was definitely better when he had Celestia next
  4770. to him, with a warm wing wrapped around him and looking resplendent in a dress
  4771. that felt silky and smooth.
  4772.  
  4773. Admittedly, it was a damper to have his  sister-in-law on the other side of him,
  4774. making annoyed noises when he and his wife stole kisses from each other, but it
  4775. was still tolerable.
  4776.  
  4777. However, the kissing would soon have to stop. Manehattan was looming large in
  4778. the distance, and Anonymous sat up a bit in anticipation and excitement as they
  4779. closed in.
  4780.  
  4781. “Have you been to Manehattan, Anon?” Luna asked.
  4782.  
  4783. “Not recently. I’ve been here twice: once when I was just a kid, so I don’t
  4784. remember that; and then once when I came with my parents for a chef’s convention
  4785. when I was seventeen or so. I remember being blown away at the sheer number of
  4786. ponies crammed into one place and the insane height of the skyscrapers. I hadn’t
  4787. ever realized how small Salt Lick really was until then.”
  4788.  
  4789. “Just remember to remain calm, and to not act overwhelmed. You are a Prince, and
  4790. you need to portray yourself as such. The ponies of Equestria will look to you
  4791. as a bedrock foundation. You must always be so for them, for they will gain the
  4792. confidence they need to succeed in their own lives from seeing your own
  4793. exemplary example.”
  4794.  
  4795. “You do remember I was one of them naught but two weeks ago?”
  4796.  
  4797. “And did you not gain strength from Celestia’s unwavering devotion and steadfast
  4798. example?”
  4799.  
  4800. “Honestly, we local yokels hardly ever talked about you two or Canterlot. The
  4801. only time you got mentioned was when taxes went up and my friends and family
  4802. would say to each other ‘somepony really ought to say something’ and then do
  4803. nothing. Salt Lick was far enough out and peaceful enough that both of you never
  4804. really bothered with us, and so we never really bothered with you.”
  4805.  
  4806. “Well!” Luna huffed in great indignity.
  4807.  
  4808. “He’s got a point, you know,” Celestia replied. “Smaller towns really don’t get
  4809. a lot of our attention. We always seem to focus on the large population centers.
  4810. We wouldn’t have anything to do with Ponyville if the Elements and Twilight were
  4811. not there.”
  4812.  
  4813. Luna couldn’t come up with a proper argument, so she simply pouted, slumped her
  4814. shoulders, and began muttering about ‘disrespectful peasants’ under her breath.
  4815.  
  4816. “We should be landing in just a minute, Your Highnesses!” Sergeant Clover Leaf
  4817. shouted back.
  4818.  
  4819. “So where are we going to dine?” Celestia asked, with a quick nose boop for her
  4820. beloved. “You can tell me now.”
  4821.  
  4822. “I’m a bit surprised you didn’t see it on the itinerary. Shining and Cadence had
  4823. heard good things about a place called Le Petite Café, so we decided to try that
  4824. out. Despite the name, it’s a gourmet restaurant, so it should be decent
  4825. enough.”
  4826.  
  4827. “You don’t sound very thrilled.”
  4828.  
  4829. “Well, maybe. I think it’s more because it’s a competitor, even though they’ve
  4830. never had anything to do with the Zuerst, nor us with them. Family loyalty says
  4831. that any other restaurant is only second rate.”
  4832.  
  4833. “Well, I suppose we shall soon find out.”
  4834.  
  4835.  
  4836.  
  4837.  
  4838.  
  4839. “Your most Royal Highnesses, welcome to Le Petite Café. I am Twice Bean, and on
  4840. the behalf of the entire staff, it is my highest honor to have you here this
  4841. evening.”
  4842.  
  4843. “Thank you, Mister Bean!” Cadence replied for the entourage. “You are most
  4844. kind.”
  4845.  
  4846. “Please, follow me. We have reserved a private table for your pleasure, and we
  4847. are honored to be your waiter for this evening as well.”
  4848.  
  4849. Anon had to suppress a twinge of self-consciousness at the waiter’s use of we.
  4850. Obviously, he had never met Anon’s mother, and her rather strict rules on
  4851. dealing politely with customers. Far worse was the way that everypony had
  4852. quickly stood and bowed when the Royal Party had entered the restaurant, making
  4853. Anon resist the urge to look behind him for somepony else who was really
  4854. important. Once they had all been seated, their fellow patrons resumed their
  4855. meals, and Anon felt a little better when it seemed like nopony was looking
  4856. their way anymore.
  4857.  
  4858. Twice Bean smiled broadly. “Now, if we may be so bold, we have crafted a
  4859. culinary chef-d’œuvre for your pleasure, if you would be interested.”
  4860.  
  4861. “Oh?” Celestia replied this time. “Please, continue.”
  4862.  
  4863. “For the appetizer, Chef Wafer has chickpeas, lightly roasted and seasoned with
  4864. a signature pepper sauce of her own creation. The main course is a bulgogi tofu,
  4865. finely dressed in a spicy sesame sauce and highlighted with onions and mushrooms
  4866. we have grown in-house. For a wine, we personally recommend the Fers à Cheval
  4867. Rouillés Parfumés à la Peau de Pomme de Terrete, which I think you’ll find
  4868. compliments the dish quite admirably.”
  4869.  
  4870. “Oh, that does sound good,” Cadence remarked.
  4871.  
  4872. “How would the taste be affected if one opted to simply have mineral water for
  4873. the evening?” Luna asked.
  4874.  
  4875. “Water?” Twice Bean repeated. “Well, Princess, it would not be affected
  4876. dramatically, but the sweetness of—”
  4877.  
  4878. “I shall sample your recommendations, but with water,” Luna announced without
  4879. leaving the matter open for discussion.
  4880.  
  4881. “I believe I’ll follow Princess Luna’s lead and have water as well.” Anon added.
  4882.  
  4883. The other three agreed water was the best choice, leaving Twice Bean a bit
  4884. confused but still eager to please. Once he had disappeared into the kitchen,
  4885. Anon leaned over towards Luna with a smile.
  4886.  
  4887. “Thanks. I wasn’t sure how to handle that.”
  4888.  
  4889. She smiled back at him and nodded. “You are welcome. I suspected you would have
  4890. an issue with any wine selection offered, so I resolved to be of assistance.”
  4891.  
  4892. “Wait.” Anon leaned back and gave her an amused and questioning look. “You’re
  4893. being nice to me.”
  4894.  
  4895. “You are fulfilling your end of our bargain so I intend to honor mine. I am a
  4896. mare of my word, after all.”
  4897.  
  4898. “That you are,” he chuckled, but then he faced the others. “You all didn’t need
  4899. to turn it down because of me, you know. I don’t mind.”
  4900.  
  4901. “I’ve never really been one for wine,” Cadence replied with a grin.
  4902.  
  4903. “I’m trying to cut back,” Shining added with a bob of his eyebrows. “Gotta stay
  4904. in shape, be an example to my soldiers.”
  4905.  
  4906. “I utterly refuse to have another drop,” Celestia simply announced.
  4907.  
  4908. “You hardly had any drops before.” Luna pointed out.
  4909.  
  4910. “If my Anon doesn’t drink it, then I won’t.”
  4911.  
  4912. Anonymous tried to keep his smile, but the way that Celestia made her
  4913. proclamation pulled the corners of his lips down despite his best efforts.
  4914. “Celly, really. I don’t want you to give up something you like just because of
  4915. me.”
  4916.  
  4917. “I’m not. I am taking stand with my husband of my own free will. Just don’t take
  4918. away my apple cider.”
  4919.  
  4920. “No problem there,” Anon replied. “My parents have a fantastic old family recipe
  4921. for sparkling cider. I can whip some up this fall.”
  4922.  
  4923. This news was met with interest and enthusiasm, and Anon promised to make some
  4924. for all of them when the time was right. The conversation then turned to what
  4925. went well with apple cider and if it was better hot or chilled until the
  4926. chickpeas arrived.
  4927.  
  4928. Anon then simply sat back and began listening again as the conversation turned
  4929. to the budget that Celestia had been given. Luna offered the most input on the
  4930. various proposals, but Shining and Cadence were both quick to point out how
  4931. things might affect the Empire and what they would like to have done or not
  4932. done. Anon actually found the back-and-forth to be stimulating and amusing, and
  4933. he was glad it was undergoing such a vigorous discussion.
  4934.  
  4935. Then the main course arrived, and Anonymous finally figured out what the
  4936. difference between upscale and gourmet was.
  4937.  
  4938. Upscale, it appeared, was less fancy but more filling. One would obviously use
  4939. the finest ingredients at the peak of freshness, but at the end of the meal you
  4940. left feeling satisfied.
  4941.  
  4942. Gourmet was a fancier meal, and the fancier the meal, the less actual food,
  4943. until Anon could imagine an empty plate being served as the pinnacle of high
  4944. dining. Of course, some chef would have to top that with a plate that somehow
  4945. had a negative amount of food on it, which might actually be a unicorn spell,
  4946. now that he was thinking of it. That certainly would be better than what he had
  4947. just been served.
  4948.  
  4949. “Voila!” Twice Bean grandly proclaimed. “We are sure you will be delighted by
  4950. this most exquisite dish. We shall return right away with more water.”
  4951.  
  4952. The other Royals eagerly began eating, but Anon poked his with his fork and
  4953. tried to figure out how he could sniff it without causing a scene, or
  4954. accidentally inhaling the entire thing.
  4955.  
  4956. “Is there something wrong with your meal, my love?” Celestia gently asked.
  4957.  
  4958. “Oh, no. I was just expecting something more than a can of cat food on a
  4959. decorative plate. The sprig of parsley is a nice touch though.”
  4960.  
  4961. “This actually appears to be a rather generous helping,” Luna remarked.
  4962.  
  4963. “Right.” Anon groaned. “Well, it does look good. How does it taste?”
  4964.  
  4965. “It is acceptable.” Luna shrugged.
  4966.  
  4967. Anon took a small bite. It wasn’t bad, that was true. A bit less on the sesame
  4968. would help, and a bit more clover perhaps, but overall not bad at all.
  4969.  
  4970. “Does it meet your standards?” Celestia asked.
  4971.  
  4972. “Yeah. It’ll do.”
  4973.  
  4974. She gave him a quick wink. “That is good to hear. Now, would you like some
  4975. diplomacy lessons while we’re here?”
  4976.  
  4977. Dinner quite rapidly became very interesting. Anon nodded once, and Celestia let
  4978. out a high, tinkling laugh.
  4979.  
  4980. “You are just too much, my love!” she pronounced. “So, the first thing I have to
  4981. show you is how to hold a conversation within a conversation.”
  4982.  
  4983. “I suspect the occasional laugh is part of that.”
  4984.  
  4985. “Most assuredly.  When you do this, it is important to make it sound like you
  4986. are still holding a normal conversation. By sprinkling in more common terms and
  4987. phrases, and especially at the beginning and end of a statement, the bits and
  4988. pieces that your conversation that float away from you become random and
  4989. meaningless. Once you become a bit more proficient we can use the double
  4990. entendre to share all sorts of wonderful secrets.”
  4991.  
  4992. “Fair enough. My talkifying is common enough so all I have to do is open my
  4993. mouth and let the sounds fall out.”
  4994.  
  4995. “Talkifying.” Luna repeated with a laughing scoff. “What kind of a world have
  4996. you created, Sister, when someone gets away with such a blatant assault on the
  4997. equish language?”
  4998.  
  4999. “My dear sister, there are many words that have entered our vocabulary thanks to
  5000. those blatant assaults. I predict that within twenty years we will all use
  5001. talkifying in our everyday conversations.”
  5002.  
  5003. “If that happens, I’ll send myself back to the moon.”
  5004.  
  5005. Both Anon and Celestia shared a giggle, and then Celestia continued her lesson.
  5006. “Now, my precious, let us try this. Pick something in this room, and describe it
  5007. to me while still following the instructions I gave you. Let’s see how marvelous
  5008. you are.”
  5009.  
  5010. “Let me see. Let me begin with the chandelier, a rather impressive crystal…
  5011. thing. I want to say infused but it’s not that.”
  5012.  
  5013. “What is it then?”
  5014.  
  5015. “Wait.” Anon gave his wife a knowing glare. “This has nothing to do with
  5016. diplomacy. I mentioned I was having a problem describing the alternate world in
  5017. my book. This is just a way to get me to practice describing things.”
  5018.  
  5019. “It is both,” she replied with a smirk. “The ability to describe, compare and
  5020. contrast will prove invaluable in the future. The ability to mask what you are
  5021. saying will allow us to flirt without anypony knowing.”
  5022.  
  5023. “Unless we are with our present company.”
  5024.  
  5025. “Guards are selectively deaf, dumb, and blind,” Shining chimed. “I’ll keep my
  5026. flirting over here if you keep yours over there.”
  5027.  
  5028. “Deal!” Anon announced. “Celly, do you like shmoopy-doopy better or
  5029. sweetie-weety?”
  5030.  
  5031. Luna groaned as the two married couples began booping and nuzzling their
  5032. respective partner. “I suppose this is the penalty I pay for marrying young,”
  5033. she muttered, but with a coy glance to a nearby waiter, who looked startled and
  5034. pulled at his necktie in obvious concern.
  5035.  
  5036.  
  5037.  
  5038.  
  5039.  
  5040. Celestia suppressed a chuckle when yet another pony quickly trotted up and got
  5041. in line to meet the suddenly famous Anonymous. Ever since they had touched down
  5042. in Saddle Park, ponies had been flocking to both him and to Luna, and that
  5043. pleased her to no end. Anon deserved the attention, in her estimation, and the
  5044. more he got out among their little ponies, the more he would be accepted and
  5045. loved.
  5046.  
  5047. Most ponies who spoke with him were so astonished by the circumstances that had
  5048. put him where he was that they just had to ask if it was all true. Anon chuckled
  5049. each time and confirmed that it was, and then he would patiently answer the
  5050. dozen or so questions that came after that. Her husband was doing well, and at
  5051. this rate he would soon be as beloved as her dear sister was.
  5052.  
  5053. That was what made Celestia the happiest. For over a thousand years, she had
  5054. been alone in the spotlight, so she was more than happy to let those whom she
  5055. loved be the focus of the country’s praise and adoration for a change. It was
  5056. bringing flavor and zest into her life, and it made it easier to remember just
  5057. how magical friendship was.
  5058.  
  5059. She had been lonely for long enough.
  5060.  
  5061. “Excuse me, Princess, but I have something for you from the Prince.”
  5062.  
  5063. “What? Wysteria, what is… oh!”
  5064.  
  5065. Wysteria was holding a sizeable bouquet of red roses in her magic, and she
  5066. gently transferred them to the Princess with a smile.
  5067.  
  5068. “He was really insistent they be red, something about tasting the best,” she
  5069. remarked.
  5070.  
  5071. “Oh, they’re lovely.” Celestia dipped her nose into them and inhaled the sweet
  5072. aroma. “I don’t remember the last time someone gave me flowers with no political
  5073. favors attached to them.”
  5074.  
  5075. “I certainly don’t remember anypony doing that,” Wysteria agreed.
  5076.  
  5077. Celestia giggled a bit and positioned the bouquet in front of her so that the
  5078. next time Anon glanced over he would only see her eyes over the top of them. She
  5079. then began staring at him with a sultry and inviting look, hoping that he would
  5080. feel her stare and look over towards her.
  5081.  
  5082. It didn’t take long. Anon was telling a gray unicorn about his Celestial
  5083. Crystal, and when he glanced over at her as part of the story, she quickly
  5084. batted her eyelashes at him and tilted her head teasingly.
  5085.  
  5086. Anon had some red flare on his cheeks but he managed to keep his composure and
  5087. continue on with his conversation. The next time he glanced, Celestia softly bit
  5088. one of the blooms off and slowly pulled it into her mouth with her lips.  This
  5089. he chuckled at, and he shook his head slightly before focusing back on the
  5090. ponies before him. With the next glance, Celestia made a great show of licking
  5091. her lips while staring right at him. This made his cheeks nearly as red as the
  5092. roses, and he did stammer a bit before recovering and forcing his eyes forward.
  5093.  
  5094. And then Celestia noticed one of the guards moving towards Luna with a large
  5095. bouquet of flowers.
  5096.  
  5097. “Wysteria, who got those flowers for Lulu?” she asked, as she gently plucked one
  5098. full rose and placed it behind her left ear.
  5099.  
  5100. “Prince Anon did. It took a bit longer to find them since they’re Night Lilies,
  5101. though.”
  5102.  
  5103. “Night Lilies?”
  5104.  
  5105. “Yeah. He thought she would be appreciative of them.”
  5106.  
  5107. “Oh, I hope so,” she replied. “Those were the flowers she and Star Struck always
  5108. shared. It might bring up some memories she doesn’t want to recall.”
  5109.  
  5110. Both Celestia and Wysteria watched in hopeful concern as the guard tapped Luna
  5111. on the shoulder and then presented the arrangement. There was a gasp from Luna,
  5112. a tear escaped, but then a warm smile came as she accepted and buried her nose
  5113. in the bouquet as if she were traveling back in time by way of the scent.
  5114.  
  5115. And when Anon glanced over towards her, Celestia felt warm and tingly as she
  5116. watched Luna mouth ‘thank you’ to him with one Night Lily petal dangling from
  5117. her bottom lip.
  5118.  
  5119. “My dear Anon, you simply are amazing,” Celestia remarked to herself with a
  5120. chuckle as Luna took a lily and placed it beside her own left ear. She then met
  5121. Celestia’s gaze, gave her a nod of solid satisfaction, and turned her attention
  5122. to another pony who had come to visit with her.
  5123.  
  5124.  
  5125.  
  5126.  
  5127.  
  5128. “And I’m a singing pony!”
  5129.  
  5130. Luna tried to hide her smile behind a false facade of minor grumpiness as Anon
  5131. and Celestia’s serious expressions devolved into helpless giggles. The trip home
  5132. had been insufferable, what with them belting out all of the songs from the play
  5133. at full volume for the entire flight back home.
  5134.  
  5135. Of course, Shining and Cadence had done the same so she was stuck with off-key
  5136. singing no matter what. Even so, she would not trade their flat notes for the
  5137. finest choir in all of Equestria.
  5138.  
  5139. “Oh, my dear Anon, we simply must do this again!” Celestia laughed, an
  5140. expression of joy that Luna relished beyond all things in the world. “This was
  5141. fun, and that was a most fantastic musical! I am sure I’ll be singing ‘High
  5142. Hinny Hey!’ for the next week!”
  5143.  
  5144. Then again, all good things had their limits, and there was only so much off-key
  5145. joy that Luna could stand. “It has been a delightful evening, but I must tend to
  5146. my duties now. If you’ll excuse me.”
  5147.  
  5148. “Oh,” Celestia replied sadly, and both she and Anon pouted. “Well, good night
  5149. then, Sister.”
  5150.  
  5151. “Good evening.”
  5152.  
  5153. Luna then teleported away, but not to her quarters. She did fully intend to
  5154. attend to the dreams of her little ponies, but first she needed something to
  5155. eat. She wasn’t herself when she was hungry, and she doubted there was a gourmet
  5156. meal in the whole of Equestria that would ever satisfy her.
  5157.  
  5158. A quick raid of the pantry yielded a slice of chocolate cake, and Luna tried to
  5159. eat the first delectable treat with as much speed but as little sound as
  5160. possible. The second slice disappeared with seconds and without a care for the
  5161. noisy grunting she emitted as she ate, but she forced herself to slow down on
  5162. the third slice so as to properly savor it.
  5163.  
  5164. And yet everypony thinks Celly is the cake fanatic, Luna thought with a snicker.
  5165.  
  5166. Her magic then pulled the night lily from her ear, and she smiled deeply as she
  5167. looked it over. Anon probably had no idea why Luna loved them so—he had probably
  5168. picked them because they had the word night in their name—but the flood of warm
  5169. memories that had swept over her when they had been presented had helped her to
  5170. feel not quite so alone, not quite so removed from her own beloved. In fact, she
  5171. was quite pleased that Anon was able to help her remember him so often.
  5172.  
  5173. It didn’t hurt so much when she did.
  5174.  
  5175. A rattling noise at the door broke her thoughts up, and she stepped back into
  5176. the shadows to avoid detection. Who could possibly be coming into the kitchen so
  5177. late?
  5178.  
  5179. “Shh!” Celestia voice drifted in. “I thought I heard something.”
  5180.  
  5181. “Just don’t use your nose to go looking for the source,” Anon’s voice followed.
  5182.  
  5183. “Very funny. All right, I think the coast is clear. What can you make that’s
  5184. quick?”
  5185.  
  5186. “I could probably throw a salad together real quick like, just a simple one.”
  5187.  
  5188. “That sounds good. Those roses were delicious but it just wasn’t enough. I
  5189. think—”
  5190.  
  5191. “Hungry, Sister?”
  5192.  
  5193. Both Anon and Celestia yelped in alarm, and Luna simply laughed as they
  5194. recovered and glared at her.
  5195.  
  5196. “I thought you said you were going to the dream realm,” Celestia said with a
  5197. huff.
  5198.  
  5199. “I said I was attending to my duties. Eating is one of them.”
  5200.  
  5201. Anon rubbed one hoof against the opposite arm in embarrassment. “Guess I didn’t
  5202. pick the restaurant so well, huh?”
  5203.  
  5204. “Do not be discouraged.” Luna admonished Anon with a kind smile. “It is
  5205. difficult to find a restaurant anywhere that will offer more than what we
  5206. received. I think our subjects worry more about our weight than we do.”
  5207.  
  5208. “Well, next time I’ll just take you home then. My parents won’t hold back.”
  5209.  
  5210. “I would like to visit them sometime.” Luna smiled a bit more. “Now, did you
  5211. mention a salad? And not the kind of salad we were served at that place. One of
  5212. your salads.”
  5213.  
  5214. Anon beamed at the princesses. “I’ll have a nice beet salad with candied
  5215. macarana nuts whipped up in no time.”
  5216.  
  5217. “Celly, is the food at Anon’s restaurant any good?” Luna asked while Anon got to
  5218. work, and her sister smiled warmly.
  5219.  
  5220. “We didn’t get to eat an actual meal when we were there, but I assure you that
  5221. you would not leave feeling hungry based on what I saw them making.”
  5222.  
  5223. “But he wants to be a writer,” Luna shook her head. “I’m afraid I still don’t
  5224. quite understand why.”
  5225.  
  5226. “Destiny is a fickle thing, Lulu. Some people find their purpose rather quickly,
  5227. others spend a lifetime searching and never find it. If I may be a bit prideful
  5228. for a moment, I personally think that his desire to be a writer was simply the
  5229. means he needed to find the his true destiny.”
  5230.  
  5231. “Oh, very modest, Miss ‘I Am The End Of Your Searching.’” Luna scoffed with a
  5232. laugh. “I suppose you could be right. He would not have found you if he had been
  5233. good at running a restaurant. I suppose that this plays into your theory that
  5234. cutie marks are simply suggestions, too.”
  5235.  
  5236. Celestia nodded. “Perhaps it does.”
  5237.  
  5238. “Well, for the record, I am most pleased you have him, and that he has you. He
  5239. has proven himself to be a most devoted man, and I feel that he will be for you
  5240. what Star Struck was for me. I may still tease and torment him on occasion, but
  5241. I believe I can accept him now. You have accidentally done well for yourself.”
  5242.  
  5243. “Sometimes that’s the best way to go,” Celestia replied with a laugh.
  5244.  
  5245. A thud from the far end of the kitchen caught the sister’s attention, and both
  5246. grew curious as the sounds of a pony muttering in frustration leaked through the
  5247. open doorway.
  5248.  
  5249. “Shiny, they’ll hear you!” Cadence hissed. “Quiet!”
  5250.  
  5251. “How can they hear me? They’re at the other end of… the…”
  5252.  
  5253. Both of them froze as they rounded the corner and found both aunts staring at
  5254. them with amusement.
  5255.  
  5256. “Uh, hi?” Shining tried, with a cheesy grin.
  5257.  
  5258. “Good evening,” Luna replied. “What brings you by here during this most glorious
  5259. hour of my night?”
  5260.  
  5261. “I admit I may have not picked a very good restaurant,” Shining Armor said
  5262. sheepishly. “Cady and I are still hungry.”
  5263.  
  5264. “Anon!” Celestia shouted back into the kitchen “Double up that salad, and stuff
  5265. it!”
  5266.  
  5267. “Stuff a tree and double it!” he shouted back. > 26. - Day Break >
  5268. --------------------------------------------------------------------------
  5269.  
  5270. Celestia absolutely abhorred the sound of steel on steel.
  5271.  
  5272. It had a way of staying in her ears, ringing in a thunderous cacophony far
  5273. beyond the actual battle. There were times when she’d hear it for weeks after
  5274. the fight was over, an unrelenting, reverberating string of silver stings that
  5275. would drive a pony mad with enough time.
  5276.  
  5277. If she could work her will, she would make the source of the sound disappear
  5278. forever.
  5279.  
  5280. “Princess! We have another wave moving in on our left flank! We can’t hold it
  5281. much longer!”
  5282.  
  5283. “Stand fast! We only need to hold out for a short while yet! General Picket,
  5284. where is your Division? If we can wheel them to the left, we can—”
  5285.  
  5286. “Princess Celestia,” Picket cut her off with a cold and distant stare,  “I have
  5287. no division!”
  5288.  
  5289. Celestia could feel it. The panic, the fear. It was beginning to come to a head.
  5290.  
  5291. “No! You must have some ponies left! Take what you have, and wheel them to the
  5292. left!”
  5293.  
  5294. “I cannot take what is not there, Princess! The day is lost!”
  5295.  
  5296. She could feel it pushing, pounding. It wanted out. It could help. It would win.
  5297.  
  5298. “No! I will not!” she grunted, and her hoof tore out a large divot of earth.
  5299. “There is another way! There always is!”
  5300.  
  5301. She happened to catch her own reflection in Picket’s dented and smudged armor,
  5302. and she could see it in her eyes. The magenta was gone, replaced with a gold
  5303. that burned as hot as the sun.
  5304.  
  5305. “No!” she fought back. “I… will… not!”
  5306.  
  5307.  
  5308. ~*~
  5309.  
  5310.  
  5311. Celestia gasped harshly as she awoke, and it took her a minute to reorient
  5312. herself to her surroundings. She was home, with everything as it should be. All
  5313. of her personal belongings were as they should be and untouched, and Anonymous…
  5314.  
  5315. A spark of panic pricked her soul, but it was silenced when she glanced down and
  5316. found him right where he should be. He snorted, gave a grunt of annoyance, then
  5317. wiggled a bit to be closer to her. Once he had settled into her side he smiled
  5318. softly and sighed in contentment.
  5319.  
  5320. Celestia’s smile matched his, and she drew her wing a bit tighter over him.
  5321. After a quick and gentle boop she settled in again and simply gazed at her love.
  5322.  
  5323. I will never let it happen, she thought to herself as the warm embrace of
  5324. slumber enveloped her again. You and I gain all the power we need from each
  5325. other.
  5326.  
  5327.  
  5328. * * ✹ * *
  5329.  
  5330.  
  5331. Celestia nipped at Anon’s ear as they both laughed and entered the room. “You
  5332. realize I’m going to get an earful on that one,” she remarked. “There are going
  5333. to be dozens of ponies who ask why the sun suddenly wiggled back and forth on
  5334. the way up today.”
  5335.  
  5336. “Do you want me to tell everypony I found a new ticklish spot or do you?”
  5337.  
  5338. “I will say you distracted me,” she replied. “And then we can leave it at that.”
  5339.  
  5340. “Okay, but I’m remembering where that spot is.”
  5341.  
  5342. “You tease!” she laughed, and she nipped him again as he went for her neck.
  5343.  
  5344. A knock at the door interrupted their play, but they did share one quick kiss
  5345. before Wysteria walked in and adjusted her glasses. “Good morning, Your Most
  5346. Serene Highnesses.”
  5347.  
  5348. “Serene?” asked Anon with both eyebrows lifted. “I thought we were Illustrious.”
  5349.  
  5350. “It depends on if you’ve been mediatized,” said Celestia in what Anon recognized
  5351. was her teaching voice. “Technically, since I reign over the Crystal Empire, I
  5352. should be Her Imperial Highness, but I’ve always been reluctant to put on airs
  5353. like that. Plus, the nobles have been squabbling for centuries about their own
  5354. titles, so anything above Her and His Highness just gives them extra title space
  5355. to crawl into. In any event.” Celestia turned to Wysteria with a mischievous
  5356. grin. “What do you have for Your Highnesses this morning?”
  5357.  
  5358. “Just a few things to go over with you before breakfast. First, Play Wright
  5359. sends his profuse thanks for your attendance at the play last night, as does the
  5360. cast, and they send their thanks for your visit backstage after the performance.
  5361. They hope you will return again soon.
  5362.  
  5363. “Second, the Astrological Society has sent a very detailed and technical missive
  5364. about a sudden surge in solar flare activity that occurred yesterday. I won’t
  5365. even try to share everything since I don’t understand most of it myself, but
  5366. they do wish to know if you are aware of the flares and if it something that
  5367. should be concerning.”
  5368.  
  5369. “Solar flare, eh?” Anon ribbed her gently. “You didn’t tell me that first kiss
  5370. was that good.”
  5371.  
  5372. “My dear Anon, you almost made it do a backflip in the sky. It was incredible.”
  5373.  
  5374. “Mm, we shall have to do it again then,” he remarked with a cheesy grin.
  5375.  
  5376. “Anyway!” Wysteria cut in before they got carried away. “What would you like me
  5377. to tell them about the flares?”
  5378.  
  5379. Celestia glanced at Anon quickly before replying. “Send my thanks for their
  5380. observance, and reassure them that I am aware of them and that they are
  5381. harmless. Make sure to tell them they don’t need to worry about this morning
  5382. either. Oh, and they should expect more. Many more.”
  5383.  
  5384. “Got it. Let’s see.” She flipped some papers. “The Juris Prudence Center of Law
  5385. at The University of Canterlot is asking about that interview about the Alicorn
  5386. Law again. In fact, I’ve gotten a quite a few letters asking about that from
  5387. several different ponies.”
  5388.  
  5389. “Tell them I am planning to hold a symposium in about a month. I’d rather make
  5390. them come to me and do it all in one swift kick then to travel out to hundreds
  5391. of different places.”
  5392.  
  5393. “Got it. Let’s see. Oh! Prince Anon, your parents sent you a letter.”
  5394.  
  5395. “They did?” he eagerly asked, before snatching the letter from her magic and
  5396. ripping it open with a gleeful laugh.
  5397.  
  5398. “I think that covers everything for now. I need to follow up on a few things so
  5399. I’ll catch up with you later.”
  5400.  
  5401. “Thank you, Wysteria.” Celestia replied with a smile.
  5402.  
  5403. Wysteria returned the smile, then left the room while Celestia turned her
  5404. attention to Anon.
  5405.  
  5406. “How are they?” she asked when he finished and looked up at her.
  5407.  
  5408. “Extremely busy,” he said with a chuckle. “Mom says they found a line down and
  5409. around the block when they got home, and it’s been non-stop since then. They had
  5410. to hire two more cooks in a rush, but she says they should work out. They’re
  5411. thinking about moving to a larger location if they stay busy like this. She says
  5412. she’s glad they’re so busy since it helps her to not think about how much she
  5413. misses me. They also send their thanks again for your forgiveness.”
  5414.  
  5415. Celestia offered a quick hum of satisfaction to that. “Anything else?”
  5416.  
  5417. “Just that she’ll write more when she has time. It was nice of her to send this,
  5418. though. I’ll have to write back.”
  5419.  
  5420. “I bet she will appreciate that.”
  5421.  
  5422. “But I think breakfast should be first.”
  5423.  
  5424. “Breakfast first then,” she said with a laugh. “Are you sick of my pancakes yet?
  5425. I can whip some up if you’d like.”
  5426.  
  5427. “Nope, still good,” he replied. “I’m starving.”
  5428.  
  5429.  
  5430. * * ✹ * *
  5431.  
  5432.  
  5433. “Oh, do you really need to go?” Celestia pouted while placing the pancakes
  5434. before everypony.
  5435.  
  5436. “We do,” Cadence replied with a note of sadness. “I dread to think about how
  5437. much paperwork we’ll have to go through when we get back.”
  5438.  
  5439. “Well, we shall simply have to come visit you then,” Celestia replied. “Perhaps
  5440. in a week or two so we can finalize plans.”
  5441.  
  5442. “That would be wonderful. I know the crystal ponies would love to meet Anon.”
  5443.  
  5444. “When do you plan to leave?”
  5445.  
  5446. “Around noon, I believe. We’ve already said goodbye to Auntie Luna so we can go
  5447. whenever we want, I suppose.”
  5448.  
  5449. “Let’s have you stay for lunch, and then Anon and I will see you off. In fact,
  5450. why don’t you spend the morning with them, Anon?”
  5451.  
  5452. “Are you sure?” he replied. “Didn’t we have some kind of meeting?”
  5453.  
  5454. “Yes, but I think I can handle it. Any meeting with the delegation from
  5455. Cloudsdale tends to be long-winded.”
  5456.  
  5457. “All right,” Anon replied. “If you’re sure.”
  5458.  
  5459. “I’m sure. Your time would be better spent with them.”
  5460.  
  5461. “You can come with me while I do my review of the Guard.” Shining offered.
  5462.  
  5463. “Review?”
  5464.  
  5465. “Yeah. Anytime I come to Canterlot, I touch bases with Lieutenant Spear Point to
  5466. see if I need to fix anything, and then I do a quick review of and offer a few
  5467. inspirational words to the troops. It’d be good for you to get a glimpse of how
  5468. the Guard works.”
  5469.  
  5470. “Ok. That actually does sound like a good idea. I’ll go with you for sure.”
  5471.  
  5472. “Great!” Shining replied with a small smile. “We’ll head over right after we
  5473. eat.”
  5474.  
  5475.  
  5476. * * ✹ * *
  5477.  
  5478.  
  5479. “I didn’t know you participated in the review too,” Anon remarked to Cadence.
  5480.  
  5481. “I don’t have to, technically, but I like to stay up-to-date on what’s going
  5482. on,” she replied.  “If the worst happens, I will be the one to take over after
  5483. Shiny.”
  5484.  
  5485. “Which I hope never happens,” Shining added. “That means something rather
  5486. unpleasant has happened to me, Anon, Auntie Luna and Auntie Celestia.”
  5487.  
  5488. “Wow,” Anon said. “I hadn’t thought of that. I have to take over if something
  5489. happens to you?”
  5490.  
  5491. “In a way. Celestia and Luna may be your equals in government, but they do
  5492. outrank you in the military, or at least for now. If either of them give you a
  5493. commission to Major General then you’ll be of similar rank. Right now you’re my
  5494. equal at Captain.”
  5495.  
  5496. “Captain Anon,” he tried the title out. “Any other titles I can claim?”
  5497.  
  5498. “You can claim whatever you want.” Shining laughed. “But experience says less is
  5499. more, if I may suggest.”
  5500.  
  5501. “I think I shall take your advice.”
  5502.  
  5503. The three shared a quick laugh as Shining pushed open the doors for the
  5504. barracks, and Lieutenant Spear Point was waiting with a sharp salute for them as
  5505. they walked into the reception area.
  5506.  
  5507. “At ease, Lieutenant,” Shining ordered, as he saluted back.
  5508.  
  5509. “Pleasure to see you again, sir,” Lieutenant Point replied, as he hoofbumped his
  5510. superior. “Prince Anon sir, Princess Cadence ma’am. Glad to have you.”
  5511.  
  5512. “Thank you, Lieutenant,” Cadence replied. “How’s Needle?”
  5513.  
  5514. “Same as ever, ma’am.” He laughed as he motioned down a hallway with a hoof.
  5515. “She keeps telling me to lose weight, get out from behind the desk, eat
  5516. healthier. I’ll pass along your well-wishes to her.”
  5517.  
  5518. “Thank you.”
  5519.  
  5520. “Just in here, sirs,” he offered before pushing his office door open for them.
  5521. Three comfortable chairs awaited royal posteriors in front of a finely lacquered
  5522. oak desk that held Lieutenant Spear Point’s gold edged nameplate, and as Anon
  5523. settled in to the furthest left chair he glanced around. It was a nice office,
  5524. but a bit utilitarian. Of course, this was a barracks so he didn’t really expect
  5525. it to be like his office or Celestia’s drawing room.
  5526.  
  5527. “Well, Captain, where shall I begin?” Spear Point asked as he sat. “Troop
  5528. levels? Morale? The usual complaints about field rations?”
  5529.  
  5530. “Let’s start with troop levels,” Shining replied. “How are the recruitment
  5531. numbers looking?”
  5532.  
  5533. For the next hour, Anon sat and listened to a fascinating and completely
  5534. confusing discussion about the Royal Guard of Equestria. It was very similar to
  5535. the discussion he had been in with Minister Penny Wise in the number of terms
  5536. being thrown around that made no sense and references to things he knew nothing
  5537. about. However, Lieutenant Point did try to clarify and explain here and there
  5538. when he could, as did Shining, so by the end of the conversation Anon had at
  5539. least a sporting chance of knowing what was going on. He knew that recruitment
  5540. was up a very modest two percent, injuries were down twelve percent, and that a
  5541. change of armor wax vendors would save over six thousand bits per year. Morale
  5542. was high and holding steady, training was steady and, overall, the Guard seemed
  5543. to be doing quite well.
  5544.  
  5545. Lieutenant Point then offered to escort the Captain and the Royals through the
  5546. Barracks while Shining did his review. Anon was amused that the review turned
  5547. out to be really nothing more than Shining walking around and greeting any
  5548. guards who happened to be nearby, but this would also be a good way to orient
  5549. himself with the layout of the rooms and to meet those brave ponies who had
  5550. sworn to protect him and his wife from harm.
  5551.  
  5552. It only took ten minutes for Anonymous to get lost, much to his chagrin. It was
  5553. an honest enough mistake: he had paused for a moment to take a closer look in
  5554. the armory, but then found they had turned down a hallway without him. A quick
  5555. walk around a few corners to see if he could find them was futile, and left him
  5556. even more lost than before, so he opted for the tried-and-true method of
  5557. planting his ass where he was and then waiting for the rescue party to find him.
  5558.  
  5559. He was both grateful and embarrassed when he heard voices down the hallway, but
  5560. he chuckled when he figured out who they belonged to.
  5561.  
  5562. “You totally were!” Hokey’s laugh drifted in. “Don’t even deny it! We all saw
  5563. you checking her out!”
  5564.  
  5565. “I was not!” Quillpoint argued back.
  5566.  
  5567. “Dude, you totally were.” Clover’s voice was fast approaching. “Your eyes were
  5568. on her flank the whole night. You’re lucky no one was taking pictures of
  5569. Wysteria last night. You’d be running laps forever if someone—”
  5570.  
  5571. Anon winced a little when the three Guards clattered to a halt at the moment
  5572. they saw him.
  5573.  
  5574. “Prince Anon, sir!” All three quickly saluted.
  5575.  
  5576. “Clover. Hokey. Quillpoint,” he greeted each in turn, and he hoped he had given
  5577. the right name to the right pony.
  5578.  
  5579. “Sir,” Clover replied. “What are you doing here, sir? Can we help you with
  5580. something?”
  5581.  
  5582. “Well, I would be grateful if you could help me find Captain Armor and
  5583. Lieutenant Point.” He replied as he stood with an embarrassed laugh. “We were
  5584. doing a review and I got separated from them.”
  5585.  
  5586. “Of course, sir!” Pokey replied, and all three of them chuckled. “If they’re on
  5587. review then eventually they’ll end up in the training room. We can hook up
  5588. there.”
  5589.  
  5590. “Thanks.”
  5591.  
  5592. “Not a problem, sir. Right this way.”
  5593.  
  5594.  
  5595.  
  5596.  
  5597.  
  5598. “Sergeant, can I ask you something?” Anon asked while glancing around the
  5599. training room.
  5600.  
  5601. “Lay it on me, sir,” Pokey said.
  5602.  
  5603. “How hard would it be to get me in on training?”
  5604.  
  5605. “Training?” he repeated. “Well, you’re the Prince, so if you say ‘I want to get
  5606. Guard training’ it’ll happen.”
  5607.  
  5608. Anon nodded, and he looked over the room again. It reminded him of the gymnasium
  5609. back in high school with weights, a jogging track, mats for practicing
  5610. hoof-to-hoof combat on, and some other equipment that he wasn’t sure what it was
  5611. used for. A rack of staffs and blunt swords stood in one corner, and a few
  5612. guards were practicing defensive maneuvers with both against an instructor at
  5613. the far end of the room.
  5614.  
  5615. “Would you like me to look into it, sir?”
  5616.  
  5617. “Yeah. I appreciate everything you and Sergeant Leaf are willing to do for me
  5618. but I’m pretty extra sure your life would be easier if I could help defend
  5619. myself.”
  5620.  
  5621. “Only if you’re trained well, sir. Otherwise I’ve got to worry about a blade
  5622. behind me and a blade in front of me.”
  5623.  
  5624. Anon nodded in agreement but with a thoughtful look. “Think you could show me
  5625. anything right now real quick?”
  5626.  
  5627. “Right now?”
  5628.  
  5629. “Yeah. You could, right?”
  5630.  
  5631. “Yes sir. I was a drill sergeant for a time. I could just go over the stuff I
  5632. drill into fresh cadets. Just with less yelling and pushups.”
  5633.  
  5634. “Maybe I need the push-ups.” Anon glanced back and over himself. “But it might
  5635. be a bit awkward to be yelling at a prince, eh?”
  5636.  
  5637. “It’d be a bit like yelling at Captain Armor or Princess Celestia, sir, yes.”
  5638.  
  5639. “We’ll avoid yelling then,” Anon replied with a chuckle. “What can you show me,
  5640. hand-to-hoof stuff?”
  5641.  
  5642. “Yes sir.”
  5643.  
  5644. “Well, no time like the present.” Anon decided. “Doesn’t seem like Captain Armor
  5645. or Lieutenant Point are really missing me, so I might as well do something
  5646. productive.”
  5647.  
  5648. “Just over here then, sir,” Pokey motioned to a nearby mat.
  5649.  
  5650. “So, what’s first?” Anon asked once they had both stepped onto the mat.
  5651.  
  5652. “First, remove your crystal, sir. You don’t want to be stabbed by that.”
  5653.  
  5654. Anon nodded and quickly removed the Crystal, but he entrusted a few nearby
  5655. towels to keep it safe for him in the meantime.
  5656.  
  5657. “All right. How is your balance on your feet?”
  5658.  
  5659. “Prety good, I guess,” he replied.
  5660.  
  5661. “Not bad sir. Now, let’s have you take a swing at me.”
  5662.  
  5663. “What, hit you?”
  5664.  
  5665. “Yes sir. Don’t worry, I have a thick head.”
  5666.  
  5667. “If you say so.” Anon shrugged, and he half-heartedly swung his right fist at
  5668. him. Pokey blocked it easily, but he also kept it in place.
  5669.  
  5670. “Hold right there, don’t move. Did you see what I did, sir?”
  5671.  
  5672. “You blocked me?”
  5673.  
  5674. “Yes, but look where my hoof is,” he replied, and he wiggled his hoof a little.
  5675. “I blocked, but from here I can slide up and nail you in the side of the head,”
  5676. with a slow demonstration of what he was saying, “or I can come back down and
  5677. anticipate you coming at me from the left, or I can throw off your balance and
  5678. sweep your feet out from under you. Blocking is good, but blocking in a specific
  5679. way is better.”
  5680.  
  5681. “Really? How would you take me off my feet?”
  5682.  
  5683. “Come again, sir.”
  5684.  
  5685. Anon took a swing again, and he put a little more oomph into it. Pokey blocked
  5686. it again, slid his hoof to tangle up his arm, and pulled slightly. The shift in
  5687. his weight made him move his left leg, and Pokey was able to use that momentum
  5688. to flip him over and down.
  5689.  
  5690. “Hah! That was awesome!” Anon laughed from the floor. “How do I do that?”
  5691.  
  5692. “Use their weight against them, sir,” Pokey replied as he helped him back up.
  5693. “Here, I’ll swing at you this time. Make sure to—”
  5694.  
  5695. “Sergeant?” Cadence abruptly cut in while she trotted over to them. “What’s
  5696. going on here?”
  5697.  
  5698. “It’s my fault,” Anon quickly interjected while Pokey helped him back up. “I
  5699. asked him.”
  5700.  
  5701. “I thought you were doing the review with us,” Cadence replied to Anon, with a
  5702. hint of confusion. “What happened?”
  5703.  
  5704. “I got lost and turned around,” he replied softly while trying to get his
  5705. breathing under control. “The sergeant brought me here to hook back up with
  5706. you.”
  5707.  
  5708. “Ah, I see,” she offered a quick giggle to this. “And then you decided to get
  5709. beat up.”
  5710.  
  5711. “It sounded like fun at the time.”
  5712.  
  5713. “You boys and your macho egos,” Cadence shook her head in both amusement and
  5714. disbelief. “Well, it’s a good idea, but now is probably not the best time for
  5715. this. Lieutenant Point is rather perturbed that he lost you, and both he and
  5716. Shiny are looking for you. Let’s finish the review, then you and Sergeant Pokey
  5717. here can work out a schedule to continue your thumping.”
  5718.  
  5719. “All right.”
  5720.  
  5721. “Grab your Crystal and let’s hurry back. If we find them first we might be able
  5722. to defuse some of Lieutenant Point’s ire.”
  5723.  
  5724. Anon quickly did as he was told, then fell in. next to Cadence. She gave him a
  5725. quick, reassuring smile, but then had a devious look take over. “You know,
  5726. Auntie Celestia is one of the supreme commanders of the Guard, and not just
  5727. because she’s the princess. I bet if you asked her nicely, she could give you
  5728. some pointers as well.”
  5729.  
  5730. “She could, couldn’t she?” he replied with a thoughtful expression. “Maybe I
  5731. will then.”
  5732.  
  5733. “I know I like to work out with Shiny. I bet she would like to work out with you
  5734. as well.”
  5735.  
  5736.  
  5737.  
  5738.  
  5739.  
  5740. Thankfully, Cadence was correct in her prediction about Lieutenant Spear Point.
  5741. He was irritated over what had happened, and it was obvious in both his body
  5742. language and from his clipped responses as they finished the review, but Shining
  5743. had leaned over with a smirk and whispered that he was more irritated with
  5744. himself since the barracks should be one of the most secure areas of the entire
  5745. palace, and yet Anon had slipped away from him and had to be rescued. His ire
  5746. did slowly taper out as they progressed, so by the time the review was finished
  5747. and they had met up with Celestia for lunch he was somewhat back to what Anon
  5748. thought would be normal.
  5749.  
  5750. His Royal Lostness, in an effort to not cause any more problems, stayed quiet
  5751. and only replied if somepony spoke to him. He did receive a fair share of
  5752. worried glances from his wife, but he met each one with a smile and that seemed
  5753. to placate her, if only temporarily.
  5754.  
  5755. After lunch, Anon and Celestia escorted Shining and Cadence to the carriage that
  5756. would deliver them to the train. Anon fought down a twinge of sadness when they
  5757. hugged and said their good-byes, and he hoped they could make that visit to the
  5758. Crystal Empire soon. Shining Armor had been an immense help and a good friend,
  5759. and Cadence was just as sweet and kind as rumors had said she was.
  5760.  
  5761. “Oh, I always hate goodbye,” Celestia remarked as she and Cadence shared one
  5762. last hug. “Let me know when you get home.”
  5763.  
  5764. “We will, Auntie Celestia,” Cadence replied. “Take care.”
  5765.  
  5766. The two of them waved as they hopped aboard their ride, and they continued to
  5767. wave until the carriage disappeared into the city. Celestia then gave a deep
  5768. sigh, and she glanced up at her beloved.
  5769.  
  5770. “I always enjoy their visits.”
  5771.  
  5772. “Yeah. They’re pretty awesome.”
  5773.  
  5774. “Do I have any in-laws beyond your parents?” she asked as they walked back
  5775. inside.
  5776.  
  5777. “A couple. My mom has sister Sieva, who lives in Las Pegasus, but she never
  5778. married or had any foals. Her parents, Soy and Pole, are still alive and
  5779. kicking.  Dad has his mother, Flageolet, his brother Pinto and his sister
  5780. Cannellini, both of whom are married and have foals. Pinto has Jumping and Fava,
  5781. and Cannellini has Haricot, Lentil, and Mung.”
  5782.  
  5783. “We should visit them sometime.”
  5784.  
  5785. “Flageolet, Pinto and Cannellini will be easy enough; they live in Salt Lick.
  5786. Soy and Pole live in a retirement village in Las Pegasus, so I guess we would
  5787. have to have a family reunion if you want to meet them all at once.”
  5788.  
  5789. “That will probably be the way to go,” she agreed with a nod.
  5790.  
  5791. “Do they get any titles because of all this?”
  5792.  
  5793. “We should probably figure that out,” she chuckled. “Like your parents, however,
  5794. they will be mostly symbolic. They won’t have any actual authority.”
  5795.  
  5796. “Well, that’s probably for the best. You don’t want a bunch of my family
  5797. overrunning the place.”
  5798.  
  5799. She simply laughed with him at this, and then gave him a quick nip on his neck.
  5800.  
  5801. “Day court now?” he asked.
  5802.  
  5803. “Yes. But after that I think we should have a talk.”
  5804.  
  5805. “Talk?” he asked in concern.
  5806.  
  5807. “Nothing bad, but something you should know. It’s a bit like your arrest, in a
  5808. way. It won’t take very long to go over, so we could go over it just before
  5809. dinner if that is acceptable.”
  5810.  
  5811. “Sure. Do you think we’ll have many petitioners today?”
  5812.  
  5813. “I think it will be a bit slower today, but we will see.”
  5814.  
  5815.  
  5816. * * ✹ * *
  5817.  
  5818.  
  5819. “So, what is this ‘thing’ you want to tell me?” Anon asked once they had settled
  5820. in next to each other in Celestia’s drawing room.
  5821.  
  5822. “It’s a somewhat serious thing, but nothing we can’t handle.” Celestia levitated
  5823. a book off of a shelf and placed it on the table before him. “Obviously, you
  5824. know that Luna was Nightmare Moon, and that she fell because of her jealousy.”
  5825.  
  5826. “Yes,” he replied with a bit of hesitation. Where was she going with this?
  5827.  
  5828. “There is a truth in that, one that you need to know. If Luna can fall, so can
  5829. I.”
  5830.  
  5831. Anon didn’t quite understand, and his face showed it. “So, you can turn into
  5832. Nightmare Moon too?”
  5833.  
  5834. “Not like that exactly,” she said as the pages of the book flipped open. “I have
  5835. my own version of it.”
  5836.  
  5837. The pages stopped on a pencil drawing of what, at first glance, looked like
  5838. Celestia. Anon then looked closer, and his eyes widened slowly. This Celestia
  5839. had the fangs and the dragon eyes of Nightmare Moon, but she wore armor that was
  5840. sun-themed instead of moon. She also appeared to have flames for her mane and
  5841. tail instead of her normal pastel colors.
  5842.  
  5843. She was terrifyingly beautiful, and it sent a chill up Anon’s spine.
  5844.  
  5845. “This is Daybreaker,” Celestia softly said. “If I were to ever tread the path
  5846. that Luna did, I would become this.”
  5847.  
  5848. “Wow,” he said with a note of fear.
  5849.  
  5850. “Thankfully, I have never given in to the darkness that would allow it to
  5851. consume me, nor do I plan to. By keeping my negative emotions in balance and in
  5852. check, this alternate me can never be.”
  5853.  
  5854. “But there is the possibility you could.”
  5855.  
  5856. “The only way Daybreaker can ever exist is if I allow any of my more negative
  5857. emotions to grow out of control. For Luna it was jealousy, but for me it would
  5858. be anger or arrogance.”
  5859.  
  5860. “Arrogance?”
  5861.  
  5862. “Feeling that I must solve all problems by myself. The darkness had never
  5863. possessed me, Anon, but it has come close a couple of times; and those times
  5864. were times when I felt like I alone was the one to solve the crisis at hoof. The
  5865. first time was when Luna and I fought against a dragon who had been destroying
  5866. villages on the borders of Equestria. I didn’t realize what it was then, so I
  5867. dismissed it as simply being enraged.
  5868.  
  5869. “The second time was during a war against the Sasquatch Barbarians. They were
  5870. overrunning our position, and if they had managed to break through my lines they
  5871. would have had a clear path to Canterlot. Thankfully, we were rescued that time
  5872. by the timely arrival of a griffon brigade, but just before they appeared I felt
  5873. it pushing, telling me it could defeat them all by itself. My desperation nearly
  5874. won out, and it terrified me.
  5875.  
  5876. “Now, I’ve felt it try to force its way out at other times as well, but never as
  5877. strongly as those two times. With Luna’s redemption and the problem-solving
  5878. prowess of Twilight and her friends, I hope that the risk will be so small that
  5879. it will never be a bother again. I didn’t want you to find out about this from
  5880. anypony else, so I realized this morning that I needed to tell you.”
  5881.  
  5882. He nodded, and took a moment to contemplate all of that before replying. “So, as
  5883. long as you feel like you don’t have to do everything on your own you won’t turn
  5884. into this thing?”
  5885.  
  5886. “Exactly. And now that I have you, the risk is negated even further.”
  5887.  
  5888. “Really?”
  5889.  
  5890. “Daybreaker thrives on hate, not love. Since you truly love me, it has no power.
  5891. Your love prevents this from ever happening.”
  5892.  
  5893. Anon nodded again and looked at the drawing. “You have seen this thing?”
  5894.  
  5895. “It occasionally pops up in my dreams, but never for very long. I use the love I
  5896. feel from my friends and family to be rid of it and its destructive lies.”
  5897.  
  5898. “Well, then I shall simply give you all the love I have then.” He turned to give
  5899. her a quick kiss.
  5900.  
  5901. “Thank you, my dear Anon. Now, let’s talk about some happier things, mm?”
  5902.  
  5903. “I’d like that.”
  5904.  
  5905. A soft tap came at the door, and Wysteria poked her head around with a tentative
  5906. expression much like she expected to have to make a quick and silent exit at the
  5907. sight of something she did not want to face right now.
  5908.  
  5909. “You didn’t lock it!” she quickly said.
  5910.  
  5911. “No, we didn’t,” Celestia said with a laugh. “What do you need?”
  5912.  
  5913. “Fleur De Lis and Fancy Pants are asking for a quick audience with you to sign
  5914. off on that donation.”
  5915.  
  5916. “Oh! Of course!” Celestia replied, and she quickly stood. “This’ll just take a
  5917. minute, Anon. I’ll be right back.”
  5918.  
  5919. “No problem,” he replied, and he smiled as she trotted out. His eyes then
  5920. drifted back to the drawing of Daybreaker, and he took a deep breath in. He was
  5921. glad she had told him about this, but it also scared him a little. To think that
  5922. she could be… that.
  5923.  
  5924. He then made the internal resolution to never do anything to bring this horror
  5925. out of his wife. Whatever it took, he would make sure she never had a reason to
  5926. go there.
  5927.  
  5928. He loved her too much to let anything happen to her. > 27. - Irritation >
  5929. --------------------------------------------------------------------------
  5930.  
  5931. “Wait. You have to do that every night?” Anon looked on in fascinated horror
  5932. while his beloved downed the golden golf ball sized pill she had just created.
  5933.  
  5934. “Bleah,” Celestia replied while pulling a disgusted face. “Ugh. Yes, I do. The
  5935. anti-snoring effects only last for twelve hours. I think I might commission a
  5936. study to find a way to make it last longer.”
  5937.  
  5938. “How bad does it taste?”
  5939.  
  5940. “See for yourself,” she said while her magic conjured up another orb. “It won’t
  5941. do anything for you since you don’t snore.”
  5942.  
  5943. Anon ate the orb quickly, but then pulled the same contorted face of disgust. It
  5944. had a sort of bland taste, like a stamp, but laced with centipede droppings and
  5945. ear wax.
  5946.  
  5947. “Wow, you must really like me,” Anon said after downing the graciously offered
  5948. cup of water.
  5949.  
  5950. “Well, a little.” She smirked coyly. “And thankfully a glass of water clears out
  5951. the taste.”
  5952.  
  5953. “I’m glad it does. I’d rather put up with your snoring than have you be tortured
  5954. with that every night.”
  5955.  
  5956. “I would gladly swallow a dozen of those to be with you,” she replied with a
  5957. gentle kiss. “The goods that I receive far exceed the cost.”
  5958.  
  5959. “Heh,” Anon replied with a lopsided and very pleased grin. “Thanks.”
  5960.  
  5961. “Anytime, my dear Anon.”
  5962.  
  5963. Anon gave her a quick kiss, then another, then one last one before moving over
  5964. to the cushions and settling in for the night. Celestia trotted to the bathroom
  5965. while he did so, and Anon soon heard her toothbrush hard at work at removing
  5966. food particles and plaque. He then rubbed his tongue over his own teeth as he
  5967. tried to remember if he had brushed his own, and an embarrassed frown then
  5968. followed as he realized he might not have.
  5969.  
  5970. “Anon, love?” Celestia called out from where she was. “This might be a nit-picky
  5971. thing, but would you mind putting the cap back on the toothpaste when you’re
  5972. done with it? It irritates me a little when it’s left off.”
  5973.  
  5974. Oh, so he had brushed. “Yeah, of course! That’s not a problem at all.”
  5975.  
  5976. “Thank you,” she called back before coming in to the room and trotting over to
  5977. him. “I know it’s not a big deal, but it is a pet peeve of mine. Also, you might
  5978. want to consider switching to a soft-bristled brush. You still get the same
  5979. effect as the medium or the hard but without the damage to your gums.”
  5980.  
  5981. “Sure! Next time I get one I’ll make sure it’s soft bristles. I’d hate to go
  5982. long in the tooth prematurely.”
  5983.  
  5984. Celestia gave him a minty kiss before settling in next to him and draping her
  5985. right wing over him. He snuggled into her side a bit before glancing up and
  5986. giving her a worried look.
  5987.  
  5988. “This doesn’t hurt your wing, does it?
  5989.  
  5990. “No, it’s fine. If I held it taut it would hurt but I relax it when it is over
  5991. you.”
  5992.  
  5993. “Am I pushing into your side too much? I’m not making it hard to breathe, am I?
  5994. Or maybe you get too hot with me so close. I can scoot over a bit, and—”
  5995.  
  5996. Celestia moved in and stopped his ramblings with a long kiss. The tension in his
  5997. body released with the surge of joy and love that came, and she booped him
  5998. quickly when she pulled away.
  5999.  
  6000. “Relax my love. You’re getting worked up over nothing. If you are doing
  6001. something that makes me uncomfortable I will tell you.”
  6002.  
  6003. “Oh. Okay.”
  6004.  
  6005. “Why are you so worried all of a sudden? I appreciate your concern, but this is
  6006. the first time you’ve been this way about it.”
  6007.  
  6008. “Well, I just want to make sure you’re okay,” he replied softly. “I’m just a
  6009. little concerned you’re tolerating more than you need to just for me. You’re a
  6010. busy mare, and I don’t want you to lose sleep because of something I’m doing.”
  6011.  
  6012. “Ah.” Celestia nodded. “I appreciate that, but I really am quite comfortable
  6013. with you right there. In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever slept better.”
  6014.  
  6015. “Really?” he asked in disbelief.
  6016.  
  6017. “Yes. So please don’t worry about that,” she replied, with a nip in his hair.
  6018. “In fact, I wouldn’t mind if you got a bit closer.”
  6019.  
  6020. “Oh, really?” he giggled, and he wiggled his back so he was pressed up closer to
  6021. her. “Better?”
  6022.  
  6023. “Much. We should get to sleep, though. We have much to accomplish tomorrow.”
  6024.  
  6025. “True. But I had a quick thought.”
  6026.  
  6027. “Oh?”
  6028.  
  6029. “Yeah. Cadence said that you might like to do some guard training with me.”
  6030.  
  6031. Celestia gave him a wary smile. “I may. I suppose you would want me to teach you
  6032. some defensive maneuvers, much like how Sergeant Pokey was?”
  6033.  
  6034. “Yeah, like that, but just when you have the time,” he replied with a yawn.
  6035. “It’s not an urgent thing, but I don’t want to be a sack of potatoes if
  6036. something bad happens.”
  6037.  
  6038. “I believe I can work something out,” Celestia replied. “I may be a stern
  6039. taskmaster, though. I expected nothing less than perfection from my troops when
  6040. I actively led them, and I will expect the same from you.”
  6041.  
  6042. “I’ll take my chances. Besides, I bet you can’t be so stern when I... tickle
  6043. you!”
  6044.  
  6045. “GAH!” she laughed and rolled away from him, but he rolled with her and kept
  6046. tickling. “You little—ha! Stop! Ha, you green tormentor you! I shall
  6047. tolerate—HA!—no assault on my—stop!—my royal self!”
  6048.  
  6049. “You like this and you know it!” he replied back.
  6050.  
  6051.  
  6052. * * ✹ * *
  6053.  
  6054.  
  6055. Celestia snorted herself awake the next morning, yawned, then smiled as she
  6056. moved to boop Anon awake.
  6057.  
  6058. She then frowned most furiously when she found no nose to boop.
  6059.  
  6060. “Where did he get to?” she muttered, and she checked under her left wing just to
  6061. be sure. The search turned up no Anon, and she grumbled a bit.
  6062.  
  6063. She missed him.
  6064.  
  6065. Duty called to the Princess, and Celestia trotted quickly outside to bring the
  6066. sun up for the day. Once done, she sprinted back inside and prepared to use a
  6067. searching spell to find him.
  6068.  
  6069. Before she could, Anon entered the room with a tray loaded with plates of food
  6070. and a small daisy in a vase. He was smiling, but it faltered when he found her
  6071. up and about. “Oh, feathers,” he pouted. “I was hoping to get back here before
  6072. you raised the sun.”
  6073.  
  6074. “What is that?” Celestia asked.
  6075.  
  6076. “Breakfast in bed,” he replied with his smile back in full force. “I thought it
  6077. would be nice, since you’ve been making me pancakes nearly every morning.”
  6078.  
  6079. “Oh!” Celestia matched Anon’s smile, and she teleported herself back to the
  6080. cushions. “Here, we’ll pretend like I just got up.”
  6081.  
  6082. “Ah, well! Good morning!” Anon laughed, and he walked over to her with the tray.
  6083. “I made you breakfast. I hope you like it.”
  6084.  
  6085. “What do you have?” she eagerly asked.
  6086.  
  6087. “Just a simple meal this time. Pancakes, of course, a couple of nice blueberry
  6088. bagels and cream cheese, some freshly-squeezed orange juice, and a bowl of mixed
  6089. fruit. Not much, but hopefully you’ll enjoy it.”
  6090.  
  6091. “I’m sure I will,” she replied while hungrily surveying the feast her husband
  6092. had prepared. “Ah, and I am most pleased to see you brought enough for two.”
  6093.  
  6094. “Yeah, I figured I should, given how you reacted when I didn’t join you, Cadence
  6095. and Shining for lunch the last time. Please! Dig in, let me know what you
  6096. think.”
  6097.  
  6098. She did so with the pancakes, but she thoughtfully chewed them as Anon popped a
  6099. few grapes in his mouth.
  6100.  
  6101. “Let’s see,” she remarked. “Flour, eggs, milk, butter. Very balanced, yes. But
  6102. no sugar?”
  6103.  
  6104. “It’s there. I hid it.”
  6105.  
  6106. “You hid it,” she flatly said, but then she took another happy bite. “You hid
  6107. it, or you used the proper amount and I’m still using too much.”
  6108.  
  6109. “No, no!” he instantly replied with a worried look. “The amount you use is
  6110. perfect! I probably didn’t put enough in mine.”
  6111.  
  6112. “Each way is fine,” she gently offered. “Yours have a more down-to-earth smell
  6113. and flavor to them. It’s just right for what you have here.”
  6114.  
  6115. “Okay,” he said with some worry. “I’ll double check the next time I make them,
  6116. and if I’m not putting in enough I will.”
  6117.  
  6118. “I’m sure you’re doing it right,” she offered.
  6119.  
  6120. The rest of the meal passed pleasantly, and they chatted about Celestia’s
  6121. upcoming class as they did so. Anon agreed to visit the class the next week, and
  6122. he suggested that he could even cook lunch for all of them as a demonstration
  6123. and as part of her lesson for that week.
  6124.  
  6125. “Or should I bake some bread?” he asked while Celestia finished the last of the
  6126. orange juice. “If you’re talking about microorganisms, yeast would be a good
  6127. visual example.”
  6128.  
  6129. “I think that is a good idea,” she said, and Anon looked extremely pleased.
  6130. “Let’s do that.”
  6131.  
  6132. “All right. I have a pretty good wheat recipe I can use. I’ll talk to Chef Beet
  6133. about getting the ingredients I need for it and some space in the kitchens.”
  6134.  
  6135. “Thank you again for the meal, my dear Anon.” Celestia replied with a kiss. “But
  6136. we need to get on with the day.”
  6137.  
  6138. “Right you are. Here, I’ll take that—” he gently took the tray of empty plates
  6139. away “—and I’ll meet you downstairs.”
  6140.  
  6141. “Why don’t you just let one of the staff take that? Then we can spend a few more
  6142. minutes together.”
  6143.  
  6144. “Oh. Right. That would work, I guess.”
  6145.  
  6146. Celestia gave him a curious, sidelong glance while he opened the main door and
  6147. called out to a nearby butler. He was acting strange this morning, and she was a
  6148. bit concerned about it. Yes, she had greatly enjoyed the breakfast and their
  6149. conversation during the meal, but it was almost like he was…
  6150.  
  6151. She frowned when the thought finished congealing in her head. He was doing all
  6152. of this to appease her, to placate her. He was brown-nosing, sucking up, trying
  6153. to buy her good graces.
  6154.  
  6155. No. Stop that, Celly. He’s trying to be a gentlestallion, she immediately
  6156. countered in her mind. Don’t be so harsh, and don’t be rude. He made you
  6157. breakfast because he wanted to do something nice for you. There’s no ulterior
  6158. motive here.
  6159.  
  6160. “Well, shall we?” Anon motioned to the door, and Celestia smiled and stood.
  6161.  
  6162. “I suppose we should. The paperwork won’t shuffle itself, after all.”
  6163.  
  6164. He offered a hand to her, and she took it with a smile. They then simply strode
  6165. out of the room, ready and eager to attack the day.
  6166.  
  6167.  
  6168. * * ✹ * *
  6169.  
  6170.  
  6171. Anon glanced over the paragraph in the encyclopedia again, paused as he reread
  6172. the short statement, and then made some notes on a loose piece of paper. With
  6173. Celestia teaching and nothing for him to do, he had decided to take some time to
  6174. get a refresher history lesson in.
  6175.  
  6176. He had started with Star Struck. The head archivist had been extremely helpful
  6177. in helping him find the appropriate documents and records, and it had been a
  6178. fascinating two hours as he had played a game of hide-and-seek with the life and
  6179. times of Luna’s husband.
  6180.  
  6181. It really was as she had said, he found. He was mentioned quite a bit for the
  6182. first year to two years, and there were also quite a few notes about his
  6183. ‘stubbornness’, but then something changed and it was almost like he dropped off
  6184. the planet. His policies and reforms were made vicariously through Luna, and
  6185. there were clear and deliberate attempts by him to keep his part unknown. There
  6186. was no reason given for the sudden shift, but Anon was pretty extra sure that
  6187. Luna had somehow changed his approach and viewpoint.
  6188.  
  6189. The last hour had been spent in reviewing the history of Equestria in general.
  6190. Since he was the prince of it, Anon figured it might just be more than a good
  6191. idea to know what his country had been up to over the last thousand years.
  6192.  
  6193. That was, of course, after he had come down from a small panic attack from the
  6194. fact that the Kingdom of Equestria was, by marriage and by law, his.
  6195.  
  6196. Thankfully, most of what he had reviewed sounded familiar, so he was hopeful
  6197. that he could be up to speed with the major points in history fairly quickly,
  6198. and then from there he could work on the so-called ‘lesser’ events with Celestia
  6199. as time allowed.
  6200.  
  6201. A soft smile broke out over his muzzle when he felt a faint pulse of air push
  6202. against his ear. He didn’t look up and then focused on the almost silent sound
  6203. of his wife’s approach. Another soft pulse moved across the other ear, but still
  6204. he refrained. Just a step or two more…
  6205.  
  6206. He quickly bent his head and neck backwards over the back of the chair, and he
  6207. gave Celestia a massive grin.
  6208.  
  6209. “Well, hello!” She laughed. “This is an interesting look for you.”
  6210.  
  6211. “What? Don’t like upside down?”
  6212.  
  6213. She gave him a quick kiss before replying. “No, I think I like you right side
  6214. up. That doesn’t look comfortable.”
  6215.  
  6216. “Yeah, not so much,” he offered while sitting upright again and turning to face
  6217. her. “How did your class go?”
  6218.  
  6219. “It was… interesting,” she replied with a sigh. “It just so happens that
  6220. Granite’s father is a microbiologist at the University, and so he was full of
  6221. information that he just had to share. I believe I spent half of the time trying
  6222. to explain what Granite was saying to everypony else.”
  6223.  
  6224. “I bet that was fun,” he chuckled. “And you look like you are ready for lunch.”
  6225.  
  6226. “I am. What should we have today?”
  6227.  
  6228. “Oh, I’m good with whatever you want to get.”
  6229.  
  6230. There it was again. Celestia was almost sure she had heard a tone of appeasement
  6231. in his voice, and the way he had tensed up indicated he was hesitant to share
  6232. his thoughts. He was holding back so she could get what she wanted.
  6233.  
  6234. She didn’t like that.
  6235.  
  6236. “How about a carrot dog and a basket of hayfries?” she said. Anon looked
  6237. confused for a moment, and she could see him wanting to ask about her choice,
  6238. but he quickly suppressed it and forced out a smile.
  6239.  
  6240. “That sounds really good. Would you like me to get the kitchen going on that?”
  6241.  
  6242. She gave him a slight glare. “I’ll come with you. We can eat together.”
  6243.  
  6244. “Oh, okay. Let me get all this put away and then we can go.”
  6245.  
  6246. She frowned deeply again while he cleaned up the books around him. She really,
  6247. really hoped that she was making something out of nothing, but the diplomat in
  6248. her was hardly ever wrong, especially when it came to people who were trying too
  6249. hard to make her happy.
  6250.  
  6251. Maybe he’ll stop after he eats, she thought, but if he keeps doing this he’s
  6252. going to get on my nerves in a hurry.
  6253.  
  6254.  
  6255. * * ✹ * *
  6256.  
  6257.  
  6258. “That was an exceptional choice for lunch, my dear,” Anon brightly offered. “I
  6259. don’t even remember the last time I had a carrot dog that good, and Chef Beet
  6260. had just the right amount of salt on the hayfries.”
  6261.  
  6262. “I’m glad you approve,” Celestia replied with a thinly veiled grumble.
  6263.  
  6264. “Wysteria, don’t we have a meeting with the ambassador from Prance?”
  6265.  
  6266. “Yes, she should be arriving here in just a few minutes,” Wysteria replied.
  6267.  
  6268. “Well, best not to keep her waiting!” he replied with a healthy dose of
  6269. enthusiasm. “Shall we?”
  6270.  
  6271. “What was in that carrot dog?” Wysteria whispered to her employer as Anon
  6272. trotted briskly away.
  6273.  
  6274. “I don’t know, but he’d better stop or he’s going to get on my nerves,” Celestia
  6275. replied with a huff.
  6276.  
  6277. They both caught up to Anon in the throne room after taking a moment to review
  6278. some details for a later meeting with the Tradespony Guild, and he was pacing in
  6279. front of the doors and looking somewhat annoyed. He gave a quick smile to both
  6280. of them, but then quickly focused his attention back on the doors.
  6281.  
  6282. “She’s late,” Anon said.
  6283.  
  6284. “She is always late,” Wysteria replied. “The Prench never start anything on
  6285. time.”
  6286.  
  6287. “Well they should,” he muttered. “Celly has other things to get done today, we
  6288. can’t just lollygag around here!”
  6289.  
  6290. “Anon, relax,” Celestia said in a stern tone. “We accounted for for the late
  6291. start when we scheduled this. Everything will be fine.”
  6292.  
  6293. Anon stopped pacing immediately when he heard Celestia’s tone. “Oh. I’m just
  6294. worried you won’t get all of your work done.”
  6295.  
  6296. “Are you really?” she asked him with a deadpan expression.
  6297.  
  6298. “What?”
  6299.  
  6300. A guard by the main doors interrupted the conversation with a loud crack as his
  6301. spear struck the tile beneath him. “Announcing Ambassador Ligne Dure, from the
  6302. Republic of Prance!”
  6303.  
  6304. “Ambassador!” Anon didn’t even give her a chance to clear the threshold before
  6305. he was in her face and shaking her hoof. “Welcome! The Princess and I are
  6306. overjoyed to have you here.”
  6307.  
  6308. “I suppose the pleasure is mine?” Ambassador Dure asked with a healthy serving
  6309. of bewilderment. “You must be the new Prince, oui?”
  6310.  
  6311. “Yes, ma’am. Anonymous, and it’s my pleasure to make your acquaintance. Please!
  6312. Come! We have a lot to discuss, I’m sure.”
  6313.  
  6314. “Forgive me, but I was under the impression that this was a casual meeting. I
  6315. was unaware that there was an agenda.”
  6316.  
  6317. “There isn’t, Ambassador.” Celestia cut in, with a stern glare for her husband
  6318. that was impossible to miss. “Prince Anon is letting his enthusiasm get carried
  6319. away. Please, follow me. We have everything prepared right over here.”
  6320.  
  6321. Anon shrunk back and gave an embarrassed smile. That had not gone as well as
  6322. he’d hoped.
  6323.  
  6324. But there was still a chance for him to get back on the right path. A small
  6325. table had been set up in the throne room, with several soft cushions placed
  6326. around the perimeter for their enjoyment. Three glasses sat on the table, and
  6327. Anon noted with curiosity that a bowl of lemons, two large pitchers of water,
  6328. and a bowl of sugar were sitting on top.
  6329.  
  6330. Then he felt like a right proper twit. Lemonade! How blind could he be?
  6331. Obviously Celestia wanted him to make lemonade for everypony. He saw there was a
  6332. knife, a reamer, and a small bucket for the rinds once he took a better look,
  6333. and his spirits soared while everypony settled in on the cushions. Beverages
  6334. weren’t a strong point for him, but lemonade was easy.
  6335.  
  6336. Celestia began chatting with Ambassador Dure about her family while Anon went to
  6337. work. He focused on his methods and movements, took extra care to keep the
  6338. balance of lemon, water, and sugar appropriate and proportional, ensured that no
  6339. seeds or rinds snuck into the finished product in the glass, and then felt a
  6340. smug smile pull his lips upward as he finished stirring his concoction.
  6341.  
  6342. It would be the best glass of lemonade ever.
  6343.  
  6344. “Here you go, Ambassador.” Anon offered the glass with all the pleasant charm he
  6345. had. “I hope you like this.”
  6346.  
  6347. “Oh!” The Ambassador was… confused? “Thank you, Your Highness.”
  6348.  
  6349. Anon felt his own confusion growing. Ambassador Dure was giving Celestia a
  6350. questioning look that was laced with irritation, Celestia was flat out glaring
  6351. at him, and Wysteria was shaking her head with exasperation off in the distance.
  6352. What had he done this time?
  6353.  
  6354. “My prince, this is citron pressé.” Celestia stated, her tone forceful and
  6355. upset. “A pleasant summertime beverage that is enjoyed all across Prance. A pony
  6356. makes the drink themselves by adding the sugar, water, and lemon juice as they
  6357. see fit. It is extremely rude to the Prench to have somepony prepare it for
  6358. them, especially if that pony is somepony they have just met.”
  6359.  
  6360. Now Anon felt like a right proper twit.
  6361.  
  6362.  
  6363. * * ✹ * *
  6364.  
  6365.  
  6366. “Look, I’m really sorry about that.” Anon offered as Celestia marched with him
  6367. down the hallway. “I thought it was—”
  6368.  
  6369. “Look, I’m really not interested in what you thought.” Celestia cut him off.
  6370. “That was highly embarrassing, Anon, and we’re lucky we have good relations with
  6371. the Prench. With the wrong diplomat that could have been a major international
  6372. incident.”
  6373.  
  6374. “I think you’re overstating things a bit,” Anon replied with his own irritation
  6375. growing. “I messed up, sure; but it was a glass of lemonade. I’m pretty extra
  6376. sure no one has gone to war over lemonade. Besides, the rest of the meeting went
  6377. well.”
  6378.  
  6379. “No, it didn’t,” Celestia snapped. “Ambassador Dure was very hostile, and I
  6380. didn’t get to bring up the Rosebud proposal. I’ll have to schedule another
  6381. meeting for that now. And yes, a glass of lemonade could start a war, Anon. If
  6382. that had been a Yak in there, I’d be begging for forgiveness, and I mean that
  6383. literally. Do you know how embarrassing it is to Equestria when their Princess
  6384. has to grovel? How that damages our reputation?”
  6385.  
  6386. “Well I’m sorry,” Anon huffed out angrily. “I’m sorry my help is taken in all
  6387. the wrong ways and that I’m so horribly offensive to the country.”
  6388.  
  6389. “Now you’re putting words in my mouth. I never said you were an embarrassment. I
  6390. said—”
  6391.  
  6392. “You did too!” Anon cut her off, and he snorted.
  6393.  
  6394. “Don’t interrupt me!” Celestia shot back. “I’m trying to explain to you what
  6395. happened.”
  6396.  
  6397. “No, you’re telling me you don’t appreciate my efforts to help.”
  6398.  
  6399. “I hate that you’re doing what you’re doing so you can pander to me!” she argued
  6400. back. “Ever since I brought up Daybreaker, you’ve been tiptoeing around me like
  6401. I’m going to explode at the slightest provocation. I don’t need yet another
  6402. yespony around, saying ‘of course, what a wonderful idea!’ I don’t need or want
  6403. anypony treating me like a porcelain figurine that will break into a million
  6404. pieces at the slightest touch of trouble! I can handle things on my own, I did
  6405. so for a thousand years!”
  6406.  
  6407. Anon snorted out a derisive laugh at the end of her speech. “Of course, Your
  6408. Highness. Forgive me for trying to be kind. I didn’t realize I had to be in
  6409. lock-step with your ideals, and it’s especially hard for me to do so when I
  6410. don’t know what your intents are. How could a poor, uneducated commoner like me
  6411. have any hope of meeting your impossible standards?”
  6412.  
  6413. There was a tense pause as the two stared each other down in fury. When Celestia
  6414. did break the silence, it was with a dangerously quiet tone.
  6415.  
  6416. “I’m not going to answer that. We both need to walk away before this gets out of
  6417. hoof.”
  6418.  
  6419. “Fine.”
  6420.  
  6421. They both offered a final hmph to each other before turning and walking away
  6422. from each other in the hallway.
  6423.  
  6424.  
  6425. * * ✹ * *
  6426.  
  6427.  
  6428. Separating had prevented Anonymous and Celestia from boiling over in the hallway
  6429. after the botched meeting. After an hour or so apart, both were ready to talk to
  6430. each other again.
  6431.  
  6432. The only problem was that the separation had also given them both time to create
  6433. an extensive defensive trench system to hunker down in, and neither of them was
  6434. willing to come out into nopony’s land to negotiate a truce.
  6435.  
  6436. So the reunion was tense, to put it mildly. Both remained convinced that they
  6437. had done no wrong and that the other needed to apologize first, so their
  6438. conversations through dinner and into the evening were short, one to two
  6439. sentence affairs with copious amounts of silence in between.
  6440.  
  6441. But as sunset approached, Anon decided to step up and to apologize. He didn’t
  6442. think he needed to, nor had his mind changed; all he had done that day was be
  6443. his usual helpful self and she had no reason to be irritated. But he didn’t want
  6444. this to drag on all night, so when Celestia moved out on the balcony to lower
  6445. the sun he quickly followed her and rubbed against her side.
  6446.  
  6447. “Hey. I’m sorry about today. Things got a little out of hand.”
  6448.  
  6449. “Yes they did,” she replied. Her horn then flared, and Anon waited as the sun
  6450. bowed in reverence before the princess by sliding behind the hills. “But
  6451. thankfully this can all be remedied.”
  6452.  
  6453. “It can?”
  6454.  
  6455. “Of course.”
  6456.  
  6457. And then, for the next forty-five minutes, Celestia delivered a lecture so
  6458. thorough and watertight that Anon had no choice to submit to her superior
  6459. points. It was a shame that all of the court stenographers were unavailable, for
  6460. if one had been present and had recorded Celestia’s words, wives across
  6461. Equestria would have been able to browbeat even the most stubborn of partner
  6462. into submission. She went over his ‘helpfulness’ and how that had simply been an
  6463. excuse he had come up with to cover for his efforts to appease her, how he had
  6464. progressively irked her as the day had gone on, and how his desires to be
  6465. endlessly appeasing would be a liability if he persisted. She grilled him over
  6466. hot charcoal briquettes on how all of this had been wrong and how she really
  6467. didn’t need any more ponies fawning over her. She informed him,in grand phrases,
  6468. that she wanted him to be himself, to share his honest opinions and thoughts
  6469. without fearing her anger, because she really didn’t get angry very often. She
  6470. knew he had begun doing all of this in hopes of avoiding bringing Daybreaker to
  6471. life, but that if he persisted in his ways he might very well bring it out of
  6472. her anyway, so if he was serious about being helpful he needed to cease and
  6473. desist immediately.
  6474.  
  6475. Once she had finally finished driving her points home with a sledgehammer she
  6476. smiled and thanked him for being humble enough to admit he was wrong, and she
  6477. gave him a quick kiss to conclude and then happily trotted back into their
  6478. bedroom. Anon simply sat for a few minutes after this, trying to process what
  6479. had just been shoved down his throat and how everything had spiraled out of
  6480. control on him.
  6481.  
  6482. I didn’t do anything wrong. I was just being being kind. Why is she so upset
  6483. about all this?
  6484.  
  6485. “Anon, love? Come in please. It’s going to get cold soon.”
  6486.  
  6487. “Yes dear.”
  6488.  
  6489. He forgot about his irritation when he heard Celestia cough a few times. He
  6490. hurried back inside and found her drinking a tall glass of water, and he gave
  6491. her neck a quick pet as she drank.
  6492.  
  6493. “Are you all right?” he asked with genuine concern.
  6494.  
  6495. “Yes, I believe so. I just have a dry throat from talking so much.”
  6496.  
  6497. He remained unconvinced when she coughed again. “Are you sure?”
  6498.  
  6499. “I’m fine, really, but I am feeling a bit tired. Let’s head to bed, shall we?”
  6500.  
  6501. Anon nodded, and he snuggled in a bit closer when they settled down. He really
  6502. hoped she wasn’t just telling him she was okay to placate him. The cough didn’t
  6503. sound like a dry throat cough to him, and he was worried that she was coming
  6504. down with something instead. If she was, he wasn’t sure what he would do.
  6505.  
  6506. How do you treat a sick Alicorn, after all? > 28. - Sick Day >
  6507. --------------------------------------------------------------------------
  6508.  
  6509. Anonymous couldn’t remember the last time he felt so hot.
  6510.  
  6511. He was used to heat of course, having worked with hot plates, ovens, torches,
  6512. and other such implements of baking through his whole life. The lick of the
  6513. flame and the searing kiss of fire had almost been like his first love, in a
  6514. way. But this sandstorm that swirled and surged around him now? This was
  6515. something else, something that could not care less if he was the the one cooking
  6516. or the one being cooked. It was unrelenting, unfeeling, and felt no need to give
  6517. him quarter or mercy.
  6518.  
  6519. That’s what the difference was, really. He wasn’t the one in control of this
  6520. heat. This was not the tender touch that he could command and control and rebuke
  6521. when it grew beyond what it should. It was past him, answering to another who
  6522. had earned the crown of victory over it. It followed the siren song of the one
  6523. who had conquered it millennia ago.
  6524.  
  6525. This would answer to none but the Princess who moved among mortals as the one
  6526. known as Celestia.
  6527.  
  6528. The ground beneath him began to rumble, and he paused and glanced at the cracks
  6529. that were forming in the parched earth. It wasn’t a full-out earthquake, he
  6530. somehow knew, but rather more like somepony had taken the edges of the world and
  6531. was giving everything a firm shake. He wanted to press forward, but with this
  6532. movement he wasn’t sure he could maintain his balance.
  6533.  
  6534. He couldn’t just stand there, though. He tried to take few steps forward, but
  6535. the shaking was just strong enough to knock off his balance and send him
  6536. tumbling to the ground.
  6537.  
  6538.  
  6539. ~*~
  6540.  
  6541.  
  6542. Anon groaned as the impact of the dream trip sent him back into reality. He then
  6543. grunted at the odd nature of his subconscious, yawned, and then blinked a few
  6544. times to clear the sleepiness from his eyes.
  6545.  
  6546. He then discovered why he had been dreaming of an earthquake and heat. Celestia
  6547. was shivering fiercely, her whole body twitching uncontrollably as her teeth
  6548. chattered, but yet she felt hot to the touch.
  6549.  
  6550. He glanced at the fireplace quickly. The flames had died out and had left barely
  6551. glowing embers in their place, so it wasn’t because of that. He stuck a leg out
  6552. from under her wing, and the room air felt normal enough as far as he could
  6553. tell.
  6554.  
  6555. His concern started to grow, but he forced himself to remain calm. She was sick,
  6556. that was as plain as the horn on her head, but he was sure a doctor could be
  6557. summoned in short order if he could just alert a guard or some other staffer.
  6558.  
  6559. Anon slowly began to extricate himself from under her wing, but she seemed to
  6560. notice this and she moaned a bit as he did so. It tore at his heart to hear it,
  6561. but she needed help so he switched tactics and slid out as quickly as he could.
  6562. Once he was out, he walked briskly to the door and flung it open.
  6563.  
  6564. “Sir!” The two guards at the door replied simultaneously, and they came to full
  6565. alert. “What is it?”
  6566.  
  6567. “Any chance one of you could go fetch a doctor?”
  6568.  
  6569.  
  6570. * * ✹ * *
  6571.  
  6572.  
  6573. Anon paced outside his bedroom door as he waited for Doctor Horsenpfeffer to
  6574. finish her evaluation. Luna had appeared shortly upon hearing the clattering and
  6575. banging of the guard while they had been summoning the doctor, and while she
  6576. looked concerned she still maintained a calm and orderly demeanor.
  6577.  
  6578. “Anon, relax.” Luna offered in an effort to calm him down. “She probably just
  6579. has the feather flu or something. If it was serious there would be a great many
  6580. more medical ponies up here.”
  6581.  
  6582. “I know, I know. But I didn’t really think alicorns could get sick.”
  6583.  
  6584. “We do, though perhaps not as often as other ponies do.”
  6585.  
  6586. Then the door opened, and both Royals turned eager eyes to the periwinkle
  6587. medical professional. She gave a short sigh but then offered a tired smile for
  6588. them while she placed her stethoscope back into her black medicine bag. “Well,
  6589. the good news is that Princess Celestia seems to have caught the feather flu.”
  6590.  
  6591. “Told you,” Luna quickly pointed out.
  6592.  
  6593. “The bad news is the same: Princess Celestia has the feather flu.”
  6594.  
  6595. “Huh?” Anon replied. He couldn’t handle riddles under the best of circumstances.
  6596.  
  6597. “The Princess needs rest right now more than anything, Your Highness. If she can
  6598. do that she should be over this in a day or two, tops. The problem is that the
  6599. Princess hasn’t taken a sick day in two hundred and fifty years. She still
  6600. presses on, and thus her illness not only lasts longer but spreads. Feather flu
  6601. is highly contagious, so if she keeps going like she always does she could start
  6602. a pandemic.”
  6603.  
  6604. “Why am I not sick then?”
  6605.  
  6606. “Feather flu only affects those creatures with wings. Princess Luna would be at
  6607. risk if she entered the room, but you have nothing to worry about.”
  6608.  
  6609. “Oh. That’s a bit weird.”
  6610.  
  6611. “A little.” The good doctor chuckled. “At any rate, the best thing right now is
  6612. to make sure she rests. If you could keep her in bed somehow that would greatly
  6613. help.”
  6614.  
  6615. “I can try, I suppose.” Anon shrugged. “I don’t think I could stop her if she
  6616. really wants to get up though.”
  6617.  
  6618. “You may have more sway than you think, Anon,” Luna said with a chuckle. “If you
  6619. tell her to rest, I am willing to bet she will rest.”
  6620.  
  6621. “The more sleep she gets, the faster she’ll get over this,” Doctor Horsenpfeffer
  6622. added. “Just do your best, keep an eye on her temperature, and keep any and all
  6623. pegasi away from her.”
  6624.  
  6625. “All right. I’ll do what I can.”
  6626.  
  6627. “Thank you. Try to have her drink lots of orange juice too. A little extra
  6628. vitamin C never hurts.”
  6629.  
  6630. Anon simply nodded in reply, and Luna thanked the doctor for making the late
  6631. night visit.
  6632.  
  6633. “Well, I suppose I should return to my duties.” Luna sighed as Horsenpfeffer
  6634. walked away. “Let me give you something first.”
  6635.  
  6636. “Lavender?” Anon asked after Luna had conjured up a large bouquet and presented
  6637. it to him.
  6638.  
  6639. “A very effective sleeping aid.”
  6640.  
  6641. “Oh. I’ll put them near Celly then.”
  6642.  
  6643. Luna nodded with a smile. “I will also monitor both of your dreams closely,
  6644. unless something pulls me away. I doubt Celly will be dreaming much, but an
  6645. untroubled mind would be beneficial to her as well.”
  6646.  
  6647. “Thank you.”
  6648.  
  6649. “Good night, Anon.”
  6650.  
  6651. Anon watched Luna walk away before returning to the interior of the room. A few
  6652. candles remained lit, and two delightful pools of magenta focused on him as he
  6653. returned to his beloved’s side.
  6654.  
  6655. “Lavender?”
  6656.  
  6657. “Luna says it will help you sleep,” Anon said over a sneeze from his beloved
  6658.  
  6659. “Let’s place them just over there. Also, could I trouble you to bring me a
  6660. blanket? I still feel cold.”
  6661.  
  6662. “Sure. Which one?”
  6663.  
  6664. “There is one in the closet, a nice blue quilt on the shelf by my dresses. If
  6665. you don’t mind, that is.”
  6666.  
  6667. “Of course not. I’ll be right back.”
  6668.  
  6669. Anon knew right where to look, but the weight of the quilt did catch him off
  6670. guard. He stumbled back a step and grunted as he adjusted, and he heard feathers
  6671. rustling in the other room.
  6672.  
  6673. “I got it!” he called out. “I’m fine!”
  6674.  
  6675. “Are you sure?”
  6676.  
  6677. “Oh yeah,” he said with only a little strain. “This is a thick quilt.”
  6678.  
  6679. “Luna gave it to me as a Hearth’s Warming present when she first returned. I
  6680. usually wait to pull it out until winter, but I just cannot get warm tonight.”
  6681.  
  6682. “This thing is huge!” Anon remarked while he tried to unfold it. “You might have
  6683. to send a search party in after me.”
  6684.  
  6685. Celestia gave a slight laugh before being consumed with a round of coughs. “Luna
  6686. also remembered me being larger and taller than I actually am.”
  6687.  
  6688. “It looks warm though,” he replied as he pulled the blue mass of comfort over
  6689. her. “And cozy. She did good.”
  6690.  
  6691. Celestia gave a tired smile, lifted her wing for Anon, then sighed as he settled
  6692. in next to her.
  6693.  
  6694. “Anything else you need?” he asked.
  6695.  
  6696. “No. I should be all right now,” she said with a cough. “I hate getting sick.”
  6697.  
  6698. “Well, I’ll take care of you, don’t worry,” he replied with a quick nuzzle.
  6699.  
  6700. “I appreciate that,” she said through a yawn. “Hmm. You know, this reminds me of
  6701. my mother in a way.”
  6702.  
  6703. “Really?”
  6704.  
  6705. “Mm, yes,” she replied as she closed her eyes and relaxed her head. “I can
  6706. remember one time, when I was five or six perhaps, when I got sick with a cold.
  6707. She bundled me up in a soft, warm blanket, and she sat me up on her lap and read
  6708. all the books I would ask for. She made some kind of soup that filled me with
  6709. delight from my horn to my tail, and then she simply sat and sang soft lullabies
  6710. to me until I fell asleep.”
  6711.  
  6712. “That sounds amazingly wonderful. You had a good mom.”
  6713.  
  6714. “I did,” she said with a soft smile. “And now I have you to snuggle with.”
  6715.  
  6716. “Provided you want to keep me.”
  6717.  
  6718. Her wing tightened a bit around him, and her breathing slowed as she drifted
  6719. into Luna’s domain.
  6720.  
  6721. “I never want to lose you.”
  6722.  
  6723. Anon felt a tear tickle his cheek as she began to snore softly. He had wondered
  6724. earlier if their fight had made her regret her decision to stay with him, but it
  6725. appeared it had not. He realized that he would probably still feel slighted if
  6726. Celestia wasn’t sick, but he could put that aside and deal with it later. For
  6727. now he needed to focus on helping her.
  6728.  
  6729. His own injuries could wait.
  6730.  
  6731. He smiled a bit and booped her, then began humming quietly as he too started to
  6732. join her in the realm of dreams. Whether his little tune was being recalled from
  6733. a distant memory or if he was catching nonsense notes from the midnight air was
  6734. unknown, but in the end it didn’t matter. The tune was pleasant enough to bring
  6735. out a small smile from Celestia’s lips, and Anon felt his own smile growing as
  6736. he partook of the sight before him. He was amazed all over again that this mare
  6737. had chosen to remain with him, but instead of feeling overwhelmed Anon found he
  6738. felt content and pleased. He was fine with feeling amazed, but he realized he
  6739. was grateful too.
  6740.  
  6741. Perhaps that little feeling of gratitude could make all the difference in the
  6742. end.
  6743.  
  6744.  
  6745. * * ✹ * *
  6746.  
  6747.  
  6748. “Good morning, my dear.” Anon laughed a little as he received a round of coughs
  6749. and a sneeze in reply.
  6750.  
  6751. “Meh,” Celestia verbalized how she felt afterward. “Is it time to raise the
  6752. sun?”
  6753.  
  6754. “I think so, but Luna just checked in on us from the balcony so I think she’s
  6755. raising it today.”
  6756.  
  6757. “She is?” Celestia asked, and she groaned when Anon nodded. “Ugh. She better not
  6758. complain about it then.”
  6759.  
  6760. “About what? The hives?”
  6761.  
  6762. “No so much that. She—”
  6763.  
  6764. “HOT! HOT! HOT!”
  6765.  
  6766. “That—” Celestia said with a long-suffering sigh “—is what I meant.”
  6767.  
  6768. Anon looked on in amused horror as Luna, from within a magical shield, pranced
  6769. into the room and blew out the small flame that had been burning on one of her
  6770. wingtips. There was smoke rising from her back and from a few patches of singed
  6771. hair on her sides, and it appeared that a few of her feathers had been turned to
  6772. charcoal.
  6773.  
  6774. “You are hereby prohibited from ever getting sick again.” Luna announced, as she
  6775. checked her other wing for any open flames. “And are you completely sure there
  6776. is no way to turn down the temperature on that thing?”
  6777.  
  6778. “Still no,” Celestia replied.
  6779.  
  6780. “Lousy hot ball of air,” Luna grumbled.
  6781.  
  6782. “Hydrogen, actually.”
  6783.  
  6784. “Unless something changed in the last thousand years, I do believe hydrogen is
  6785. still a component of air.”
  6786.  
  6787. “Told you she gets grouchy,” Celestia remarked to Anon with a weak smile. “Thank
  6788. you for raising it, Sister.”
  6789.  
  6790. “Yeah, well, you owe me for that,” she replied as she turned her focus to
  6791. Celestia. “I will think of something horribly embarrassing for payment, don’t
  6792. worry.”
  6793.  
  6794. “I’m sure you will.”
  6795.  
  6796. “So, are you feeling any better from last night?”
  6797.  
  6798. “Slightly. I’m not cold anymore but I still feel very congested, achy, and
  6799. tired.”
  6800.  
  6801. “But at least your condition is improved. I have informed Chef Beet to prepare
  6802. oatmeal for you and to have it brought it up here. There should also be more
  6803. orange juice for you as well.”
  6804.  
  6805. “Orange juice sounds good,” Celestia sighed with a quick nuzzle for Anon.
  6806.  
  6807. “Rest, dear Sister, and I will check on you again later.”
  6808.  
  6809. Celestia nodded, and Luna teleported away without further comment.
  6810.  
  6811. “All right. Now that she’s gone I can get some work done before day court. I
  6812. just need my—”
  6813.  
  6814. “No, you don’t.”
  6815.  
  6816. Celestia slowly turned to face her husband. “No?”
  6817.  
  6818. “No,” he repeated. “You need rest, and the doctor told me last night you’re
  6819. really contagious. You can’t do any work today.”
  6820.  
  6821. Anon wasn’t sure if she was impressed or irritated. He really hoped it was the
  6822. former so he wouldn’t have to get into another fight with her already.
  6823.  
  6824. “Are you telling me no?” she asked. “Me? Your princess, your ruler, your bringer
  6825. of the day?”
  6826.  
  6827. “I am telling my wife no. The fact that you are a princess and that you bring
  6828. the day is irrelevant. You need to rest.”
  6829.  
  6830. She gave him a curious look for a moment, but then moved in and gave him a quick
  6831. boop. “If you insist, then. But I really do hate to cancel everything today,
  6832. especially day court. It would be horrible to find out a pony had made a long
  6833. and arduous journey so they could offer their petition to the throne, only to
  6834. find there is no opportunity for them to do so, leaving them with nothing.”
  6835.  
  6836. “Couldn’t Luna take over?”
  6837.  
  6838. “She could, but she never has shown any interest in doing so since her return. I
  6839. almost believe she is afraid to handle the affairs of Equestria alone.”
  6840.  
  6841. Anon’s eyes darted back and forth as he thought through an idea that had just
  6842. come to him. “What if… what if I helped her?”
  6843.  
  6844. “You?” Celestia asked with a cough. “You want to run day court with Luna?”
  6845.  
  6846. “Yeah. So long as she helps me out, I bet I could handle it.”
  6847.  
  6848. “I don’t know. I believe you could handle everything in time, but you haven’t
  6849. had a lot of education or training yet. But if Luna was there, and if Wysteria
  6850. helped out too…”
  6851.  
  6852. “Whatever it takes to keep you in bed.”
  6853.  
  6854. “Or I could just keep myself under a shield. That way nopony can get infected.”
  6855.  
  6856. “That is not resting twice,” Anon replied sternly.
  6857.  
  6858. “Oo, you’re so cute when you’re angry.” Celestia chuckled.
  6859.  
  6860. “I am not,” he retorted sourly. “I am very serious when I am angry, and I should
  6861. be taken seriously.”
  6862.  
  6863. “But while being cute,” she replied with a soft laugh. “All right. If Luna is
  6864. willing to keep an eye on things and if Wysteria will take notes for me to
  6865. review, I think that will work.”
  6866.  
  6867. “You have to stay in bed though,” he said with what he hoped was an even sterner
  6868. look, “and no work. No papers, no meetings, no nothing. You are allowed to snack
  6869. and to drink orange juice and water and to sleep.”
  6870.  
  6871. “And now you are giving me orders,” she chuckled again. “All right. I promise I
  6872. will not do anything work related.”
  6873.  
  6874. “And if something comes up that I can’t handle, I’ll come consult with you,”
  6875. Anon offered.
  6876.  
  6877. “Sounds good. May I read a book while I rest?”
  6878.  
  6879. “Yes,” he said with a smile.
  6880.  
  6881. “Good. I have two or three that I’ve been meaning to get to in the last three
  6882. hundred years.”
  6883.  
  6884. “That’s a long time to put off a book.”
  6885.  
  6886. She gave him a coy smile and a mischievous wink before a knock came at the door.
  6887.  
  6888. “Good morning, Your Highnesses!” Wysteria offered as she pushed in a trolley
  6889. with a domed tray. “I’m sorry to hear you’re not feeling well, but Chef Beet
  6890. made some delicious oatmeal for you.”
  6891.  
  6892. “Makes me wish I could smell,” Celestia muttered.
  6893.  
  6894.  
  6895.  
  6896.  
  6897.  
  6898. “I apologize in advance for this,” Anon said to Wysteria as they walked down the
  6899. hall.
  6900.  
  6901. “Hey, I’m more than happy to help you out if it means the Princess will actually
  6902. stay in bed,” she replied. “The last time she was sick she ended up giving half
  6903. the staff in the palace—including me—the pony pox. She really just doesn’t know
  6904. how to not work.”
  6905.  
  6906. “Well, she’s only just recently had the option to take a sick day. I think she
  6907. needs to learn how to delegate a little bit better.”
  6908.  
  6909. “She is doing better about that since I first got hired, but you are right. I
  6910. get the feeling she just wants to make sure because she cares.”
  6911.  
  6912. “I can believe that,” he said  with a laugh. “This will be good for all of us in
  6913. one way or another I bet.”
  6914.  
  6915. “I certainly hope so.”
  6916.  
  6917.  
  6918. * * ✹ * *
  6919.  
  6920.  
  6921. Anon and Wysteria entered the throne room through the staff entrance and chatted
  6922. about the upcoming session of Day Court. Wysteria remarked that the day would
  6923. probably be slower due to it being a weekday, which helped Anon’s nerves
  6924. slightly, but he did admit to being a tad bit worried.
  6925.  
  6926. “You’ll do fine.” Wysteria patted his shoulder in reassurance.  “If it is a
  6927. tricky decision, I can pull some strings and have whoever it is remain in
  6928. Canterlot until Celestia can render judgement. However, I think between you, me,
  6929. and Luna, we’ll be able to handle most of the petitioners.”
  6930.  
  6931. “Where is Luna, anyway?” Anon asked as he looked around quickly for her.
  6932.  
  6933. “She said she’ll be right down. She had to take care of some hives first.”
  6934.  
  6935. “Oh, okay then. I thought she was just kidding about that.”
  6936.  
  6937. “No, she really breaks out. But only a little bit.”
  6938.  
  6939. “Huh.”
  6940.  
  6941. “She’ll be fine, don’t worry. Go ahead and have a seat while I finish up a few
  6942. details. Luna should be down by the time we start.”
  6943.  
  6944. Anon simply nodded before moving to sit as instructed. Up to this point, he had
  6945. been maintaining pretty well, but he hadn’t anticipated being on the throne by
  6946. himself.
  6947.  
  6948. And now he was. Not as some kind of stunt or reward, not for a photo
  6949. opportunity. This was his throne, before his ponies in his country.
  6950.  
  6951. The full weight of what that really meant began to settle in on him. In the
  6952. previous day courts with his beloved, he had felt like a spectator, or perhaps
  6953. like a reporter being given an inside look at how Celestia went about her day
  6954. for an upcoming article. All he had to do then was sit back and watch Celestia
  6955. move Equestria along.
  6956.  
  6957. But it was becoming clear that this would not be how things would remain. Since
  6958. he fully believed Celestia when she had told Minister Wise and the two bickering
  6959. pegasi that he was her equal, that meant that he would be issuing edicts. His
  6960. word would become law for millions across a vast and prosperous land, and he
  6961. would be responsible for the results of his actions.
  6962.  
  6963. Anon took a deep breath in. He had agreed to this. Celestia had warned him, she
  6964. had given him a way out. Even now it was still a valid option. He could ask for
  6965. the divorce, walk away from this tremendous responsibility.
  6966.  
  6967. But how deeply would that cut? He shuddered as he thought about how devastated
  6968. he would be if she was the one to ask him. He couldn’t, not now. He was too
  6969. emotionally invested.
  6970.  
  6971. There wasn’t a thing in the whole of Equestria that could convince him
  6972. otherwise.
  6973.  
  6974. But that led him back to the original thought, and he closed his eyes while he
  6975. inhaled and exhaled slowly and deeply.
  6976.  
  6977. “I can do this. I can.”
  6978.  
  6979. “Yes, this should be quite droll.”
  6980.  
  6981. “Gah!” Anon jumped sideways, but still managed to remain in the seat.
  6982. “Discord?!”
  6983.  
  6984. “Hey-o Anon-o. Miss me?” The Mismatched Master of Mayhem asked with a delighted
  6985. grin.
  6986.  
  6987. “Uhm…” Anon wasn’t quite sure how to answer that. He really had not missed him,
  6988. but he didn’t want to offend the Lord of Chaos.
  6989.  
  6990. “Don’t worry, I know you did.” He ran a paw over the cushion beneath him. “Ooh!
  6991. Very nice! No wonder she sends Twilight and her friends off to do her dirty
  6992. work. If this was my throne I’d never get off my duff either.”
  6993.  
  6994. “Look, I really don’t need…” Anon started, but then he stopped himself. If he
  6995. was going to be Celestia’s prince, he needed to act the part. “Discord, unless
  6996. you are here to make a petition, I will need to respectfully ask you to leave.”
  6997.  
  6998. “Relax, mon capitaine, I’m not here to cause any trouble.”
  6999.  
  7000. “You’re not?” he blurted before he could help himself.
  7001.  
  7002. “Nope! I’m sure you’ll cause enough of that without my help. I’m just here to
  7003. watch the fun.”
  7004.  
  7005. Well, that was inspiring. Discord smiled and wrapped an arm around Anon in a
  7006. friendly embrace, much like a boa constrictor.
  7007.  
  7008. “Do me proud, Anon-o.”
  7009.  
  7010. He snapped his talon, and in a flash of light he moved from Anon’s side and into
  7011. one of the stadium seats that had just appeared out of nowhere. The seats ran
  7012. the length of the throne room and back up the other side, and more Discords
  7013. began to file in from large archways that were at either end of the seats. The
  7014. real Discord was sitting on the front row and perhaps ten feet away from Anon,
  7015. and he was now sporting an oversized foam finger on his paw with ANON IS #1
  7016. emblazoned upon it, a large tub of popcorn, and a ballcap with two soda cans
  7017. tied to it. He waved at Anon gleefully, let out a shrill whistle, then shoveled
  7018. in a large talonful of popcorn as a few fellow Discords sat next to him.
  7019.  
  7020. “Are you okay, Your Highness?” Wysteria asked as she walked around the throne
  7021. and glanced at the bedlam. “I can have the guards clear him out if you want.”
  7022.  
  7023. “Do you really think they could?” he wondered aloud. As capable as the Royal
  7024. Guard may be, he was genuinely curious as to how they would go about doing that.
  7025.  
  7026. “No, not really.” Wysteria admitted. She gave a glaring glance to the
  7027. draconequus as he playfully waved back at her. “But I will personally award the
  7028. Hoofbel prize to the pony who can,” she snarled a bit under her breath.
  7029.  
  7030. “I guess he’s fine, so long as he behaves himself,” Anon said while he took his
  7031. turn glaring at two Discords who seemed to be fighting over a bowl of nachos.
  7032. They both laughed nervously and smiled sheepishly, and another bowl of nachos
  7033. appeared to end the feud. “How much longer do we have before day court starts?”
  7034.  
  7035. “Well, it really should be starting now,” Wysteria admitted. “But I’m not sure
  7036. why Luna isn’t here yet.”
  7037.  
  7038. “Who’s the first petitioner?”
  7039.  
  7040. “Let’s see…” She glanced down at her trusty clipboard. “Oh! That’s interesting.
  7041. It’s a unicorn by the name of Starlight Glimmer. She wants to start a new town
  7042. out near Manehattan.”
  7043.  
  7044. “Why is that interesting?”
  7045.  
  7046. “I don’t recall anypony else asking to start a town the whole time I’ve worked
  7047. here. It’s interesting that she wants to start a new one rather than move to a
  7048. place that’s already established.”
  7049.  
  7050. Anon thought about this for a moment. While interesting and perhaps a bit odd,
  7051. there didn’t seem to be a reason why this Starlight should be denied. “Send her
  7052. in, Wysteria. Maybe we can figure out why she wants to do this while we wait.”
  7053.  
  7054. “Of course, Your Highness.” Wysteria nodded to the guards at the door. The
  7055. massive double doors then swung open, and Anon took a deep breath again as his
  7056. hand touched his Celestial Crystal.
  7057.  
  7058. This was now his court.
  7059.  
  7060. He then noticed that Discord and his fellow… well, Discords, since he couldn’t
  7061. think of a better name for the duplicates, had suddenly become deathly silent.
  7062. The light in the throne room dimmed, and Anon groaned as he noticed every single
  7063. Discord in the room was now dressed in long, hooded black robes that obscured
  7064. their eyes but left the cheerfully malevolent smile visible.
  7065.  
  7066. A distant bell began to knell as all of the Discords followed Starlight
  7067. Glimmer’s approach, but interestingly enough she seemed to be unperturbed, and
  7068. even seemed to revel in the attention in a way.
  7069.  
  7070. “Here ye, there she!” A Discord shouted from beside Anon. He unfurled a long
  7071. scroll and cleared his throat before proceeding. “The Court will now hear the
  7072. petition of one Starlight Glimmer, who is accused of equality! How plead you
  7073. before this Tribunal?”
  7074.  
  7075. “Tribunal?” Anon asked. “What tribunal?”
  7076.  
  7077. “Well, since you’re flying solo at the moment I thought I would help,” Discord
  7078. replied as an aside but with a huge grin. “C’mon, Anon-o! You’ll still make the
  7079. final call, I promise.”
  7080.  
  7081. “This is your idea of… never mind.” Anon began rubbing his temples. “All right,
  7082. fine. But please try to have some decorum, all right?”
  7083.  
  7084. “Decorum, gotcha,” Discord replied with a wink from under his his hood. “That’s
  7085. some kind of grubworm, right?”
  7086.  
  7087. “Of course he thinks it’s a worm.” Anon groaned again. He had the feeling he’d
  7088. be doing that a lot today. “Back to the topic at hand. Miss Glimmer, you want to
  7089. start a new village, correct?”
  7090.  
  7091. “Yes, Your Highness.”
  7092.  
  7093. “Where, exactly, are you proposing to found this new settlement at?”
  7094.  
  7095. “I’m so glad you asked, Your Highness!” she replied with an overabundance of
  7096. enthusiasm. Several large maps floated out of her saddlebags and she proudly
  7097. held them aloft in her magic. “I would like to build Our Town here, just to the
  7098. northwest of Manehattan.”
  7099.  
  7100. Anon then stood and took a few steps closer to the maps with Wysteria and
  7101. Discord.
  7102.  
  7103. “‘Just to the northwest?’” Wysteria asked in confusion. “Miss Glimmer, you are
  7104. aware that the location you’re proposing is many miles outside of the regular
  7105. trade routes and guard patrols, right? You will be, for all intents and
  7106. purposes, on your own. Isolated.”
  7107.  
  7108. “I certainly hope so, ma’am. That is the whole point.”
  7109.  
  7110. “It is?” Anon asked, as he glanced at Wysteria briefly. “Why?”
  7111.  
  7112. “For a fresh start, your Highness. I want to create a place with no distractions
  7113. from outside, where we can be self reliant. A blank slate, if you will. This
  7114. will be my chance to make the perfect place to live.”
  7115.  
  7116. There was something that didn’t sit right with the way she said that, but was
  7117. there some sort of legal precedent to stop her from pursuing this?
  7118.  
  7119. “Prince Anon?”
  7120.  
  7121. “Yes, Miss Starlight?
  7122.  
  7123. “Do you have a cutie mark, if I may ask?.”
  7124.  
  7125. “Well, no. As far as I know only ponies get cutie marks and as you can probably
  7126. see, I'm not a pony." He said.
  7127.  
  7128. “Really? That must be frustrating, if I may say, your destiny must be quite
  7129. vague.”
  7130.  
  7131. “Well, I’m not really bound to any destiny, I think.”
  7132.  
  7133. “Oh?  It is something you’re going to have to live with for the rest of your
  7134. life. That sounds pretty bound to me.”
  7135.  
  7136. “I suppose,” he replied. Now she really was creeping him out, and that smile
  7137. wasn’t helping. “But in a way it’s rather open to interpretation. It brought me
  7138. here in a roundabout way after all. I'm for all intends and purposes a blank
  7139. page. And much like how blank pages provide the opportunity to create a new
  7140. world out of words, I too have this new opportunity to make a difference in
  7141. ponies lives, much like your request to start a new life in a new place. And
  7142. though I may not fully understand it that doesn’t make it bad.”
  7143.  
  7144. “Perhaps.” She seemed placated but her gaze rested uncomfortably on his butt,
  7145. where his cutie mark would be.
  7146.  
  7147. “May I have this map for a second?” he asked as he pointed to one, and Starlight
  7148. gladly levitated it into his hands. “Thank you. Allow me to consult with my
  7149. advisors for a minute.”
  7150.  
  7151. “Of course, Your Highness.”
  7152.  
  7153. Anon gave her a wary look before moving back and behind the throne with Wysteria
  7154. and Discord. The savvy secretary then caught the meaning of his glance and put
  7155. up a soundproof shield before they continued.
  7156.  
  7157. “Well? What do you think?”
  7158.  
  7159. “I think I feel my skin crawling every time she speaks, that’s what I think,”
  7160. Wysteria replied.
  7161.  
  7162. “Yes, I’m getting that vibe too, but what about her petition?”
  7163.  
  7164. “Well, she does has everything in order: the application, building permits, fees
  7165. and dues. I really don’t see why she couldn’t be allowed to go start this little
  7166. commune of hers.”
  7167.  
  7168. “Yeah, but that’s just it. She wants to be isolated, intentionally. What kind of
  7169. a pony wants that?”
  7170.  
  7171. “There are a few ponies that prefer solitude, Your Highness. The paperwork shows
  7172. a small hamlet of about twenty ponies or so. Maybe they’re just all tree huggers
  7173. and want to live in that minimalist fad that’s been going around.”
  7174.  
  7175. “Hm.” Anon tapped his chin thoughtfully. “Could be. A lot of ponies thought the
  7176. Apple family had gone nuts when they settled down near the Everfree.  Discord,
  7177. what are your thoughts?”
  7178.  
  7179. Discord held up a talon and a squeak emerged from his throat, but then he
  7180. stopped with a puzzled look. “Wait. You want to know what I think?”
  7181.  
  7182. “Yeah. You run Discordland, right?”
  7183.  
  7184. “Discordland?” he questioned. “Oh! That city I made up in… dah…” he stammered
  7185. for a moment as he realized what had escaped out of his mouth, “I mean, hah! Of
  7186. course! I am an expert on new settlements, how kind of you to ask for my
  7187. expertise!”
  7188.  
  7189. “Relax, Discord,” Anon replied with a hearty chuckle. “I was pretty extra sure
  7190. you were making it up all along. But really, what do you think?”
  7191.  
  7192. “I… well, noone has ever really asked me what I think, except for Fluttershy.
  7193. You really want to know?”
  7194.  
  7195. “I wouldn’t ask if I wasn’t serious,” Anon replied with a grin.
  7196.  
  7197. Discord teared up for a moment, placed a furry fist next to his quivering lower
  7198. lip, and smiled like he’d never smiled before. He then reached out, grabbed
  7199. Anonymous, and gave him a gigantic hug.
  7200.  
  7201. “You’re all right, Anon-o,” he offered in all sincerity. He then snapped his
  7202. talon, and Anon found himself back on the ground and looking at Discord in a
  7203. dark brown trenchcoat and fedora.
  7204.  
  7205. “All right, here’s the scoop. But keep a lid on it, see?” He said in a harsh
  7206. whisper while glancing around to make sure they weren’t being watched. “Anon-o,
  7207. I don’t like it, not one bit. She’s up to something.”
  7208.  
  7209. “Why do you say that?” Wysteria asked.
  7210.  
  7211. “Exhibit A: the application,” Discord replied as he pulled it out of his coat
  7212. and held it out in his talon. “She filled it out in triplicate. Triplicate!”
  7213.  
  7214. “What?” Anon had to ask. “Why does that even—”
  7215.  
  7216. “No, he’s got a point.” Wysteria cut in.
  7217.  
  7218. “Care to explain?” Anon asked with a little exasperation.
  7219.  
  7220. “All forms need to be filled out in triplicate to get processed properly, but
  7221. she is the first pony to actually have all three ready at the time of her
  7222. application. Nopony has ever had all their paperwork ready to go right off. And
  7223. look,” Wysteria began flipping through the papers on her clipboard with her
  7224. hooves. “Environmental study, done. Impact usage analysis, done. Stormwater
  7225. mitigation plan, done. Every last thing you need to do any kind of construction
  7226. is done. Nopony is that well organized, not even me. For her to have all this
  7227. ready means she’s been planning this for… years, probably. That’s really eerie.”
  7228.  
  7229. “All right. So she’s exceptionally organized,” Anon summarized.
  7230.  
  7231. “Twilight Sparkle is that organized,” Discord added. “This is the sign of a
  7232. seriously disturbed mind, and I should know. Which brings us to Exhibit Two:
  7233. that smile.”
  7234.  
  7235. “Smile?” Anon repeated.
  7236.  
  7237. “Exactly. I don’t like it, I don’t like it one bit. I know smiles, and that
  7238. smile? That’s just not right.”
  7239.  
  7240. Anon caught on to what Discord was saying this time with no trouble. Starlight
  7241. Glimmer’s smile hadn’t waned, hadn’t faltered in the slightest during her whole
  7242. time there. It was perpetual, and that really made it seem forced.
  7243.  
  7244. “Ok, so creepy unending smile.”
  7245.  
  7246. “Exhibit Next? That cutie mark!” Discord leveled the statement as if that was
  7247. the most condemning thing about all of this. He leaned down and threw a furry
  7248. paw over Anon before he continued. “Who has a mathematical symbol on their
  7249. flank, I mean really?”
  7250.  
  7251. “Let’s see.” Wysteria’s eyes drifted upward as she thought. “Professor Cosine at
  7252. the University has a math based cutie mark, and Deputy Plum Level has a math
  7253. equation in hers, my third-grade teacher, Missus Millimeter, had two plus two
  7254. equals four for her cutie mark, The Mayor of—”
  7255.  
  7256. “Fine, finefinefine.” Discord interrupted with an annoyed huff. “Strike Exhibit
  7257. Next. But I’m telling you, Anon-o, I trust her about as far as she frowns.”
  7258.  
  7259. “Okay, but does any of that prevent her from going forward with this?”
  7260.  
  7261. “Well, no.” Discord was finally forced to admit. “I don’t suppose it does.”
  7262.  
  7263. “All right. Thank you, Discord,” Anon replied with a deep sigh.
  7264.  
  7265. “I can put her application aside until one of the princesses can take a look at
  7266. it,” Wysteria offered.
  7267.  
  7268. Anon fiddled with his Crystal as he thought. What would Celestia do in this
  7269. circumstance? How would she rule? Should he just pass it on?
  7270.  
  7271. No, he wanted to figure this out. He wanted to show he could be useful. “All
  7272. right. I think I know what to do,” he finally announced. “Discord, can I ask you
  7273. for a favor?”
  7274.  
  7275. Discord leaned back slightly and gave Anon a leery look. “Favor?”
  7276.  
  7277. “Yeah. Could you keep an eye on Starlight for me? Just check in on her randomly
  7278. and see if she’s up to something.”
  7279.  
  7280. “What’s in it for me?”
  7281.  
  7282. “A Royal sanction to spy on a pony?” Wysteria dryly offered.
  7283.  
  7284. “Nah, I do that already. How about your first-born, Anon-o?”
  7285.  
  7286. “Absolutely not.”
  7287.  
  7288. “Second born?”
  7289.  
  7290. “You’re not getting any of my borns.”
  7291.  
  7292. “Well you’re no fun,” he replied with a huff. “How about one hour of your life
  7293. every umpth Tuesday?”
  7294.  
  7295. “That… really doesn’t sound any better.”
  7296.  
  7297. “Oh, come now mon capitaine!” Discord replied. “That’s my tea day with
  7298. Fluttershy. She keeps telling me to bring a friend, and now I can bring you!”
  7299.  
  7300. “I guess…” Anon stalled out in thought for a minute. “Celly could come too,
  7301. right?”
  7302.  
  7303. Discord scoffed. “Please. We’re talking about Fluttershy here. You could invite
  7304. Queen Chrysalis along and she’d still be fine with it.”
  7305.  
  7306. “I doubt that,” Anon replied. “But that doesn’t sound too bad, I suppose. I
  7307. agree, with the understanding that I might need to cancel if something important
  7308. comes up here.”
  7309.  
  7310. Discord gave a squeak of joy. “Done! I’ll watch her like Maud watches Boulder.”
  7311.  
  7312. “I… I have no idea who that is, but thank you all the same,” Anon offered.
  7313.  
  7314. Discord again grew misty-eyed and Wysteria nodded with a smile before the shield
  7315. dropped and all three returned to their spots.
  7316.  
  7317. “I see no reason why you can’t go forward with your plan, Miss Starlight,” Anon
  7318. announced. “The Crown will accept your petition and application, on the
  7319. condition that you allow a contingent of inspectors and specialists to insure
  7320. things are up to code and specifications during construction.”
  7321.  
  7322. It may have been his imagination, but her smile seemed to twitch slightly. “Oh,
  7323. your Highness,” Starlight scoffed and waved a dismissive hoof. “That will not
  7324. be—”
  7325.  
  7326. “I am going to insist on that.” Anon ordered forcefully. “To build a town in the
  7327. middle of nowhere is quite strange, Miss Glimmer. I believe it would be in the
  7328. best interest of the Crown to make sure you are not attempting to cover
  7329. something illegal, yes?”
  7330.  
  7331. “Of course, Your Highness. Your inspectors will have free access to all the
  7332. pertinent information they need.”
  7333.  
  7334. “Good. Did you have anything else to bring before the Court?”
  7335.  
  7336. “No, Your Highness. I have received everything I need.”
  7337.  
  7338. Anon nodded, and Starlight’s smile still held fast as she followed a pegasus
  7339. guard out of the hall.
  7340.  
  7341. “Impressive, young Anonmeister.” Discord offered from under his hood. He
  7342. steepled his fingers and smiled wickedly before continuing. “Most impressive.
  7343. Soon your journey on the path of Royalty will be complete!”
  7344.  
  7345. “What are you talking about?” Anon asked.
  7346.  
  7347. “I dunno.” Discord shrugged.
  7348.  
  7349. All light in the room suddenly shut off with a loud clank, and an upbeat song
  7350. from a pipe organ began playing from nowhere as spotlights danced across the
  7351. hall. Anon looked over at Discord and he tried to ask what he was doing, but
  7352. instead he found himself once again in Discord’s furry and excited embrace as he
  7353. pointed to the staff entrance.
  7354.  
  7355. “Royalty and Draconequus!” Discord’s voice boomed out of the ceiling. “Coming on
  7356. the court now for the home team, in the number two spot, batting .302 over the
  7357. last three seasons and back in the game after a long stay in the penalty box,
  7358. everypony’s favorite tortured ruler, Princess LLUUUUNNNAAA!”
  7359.  
  7360. The crowd of Discords erupted into cheers and applause as a spotlight followed
  7361. Luna’s quite thoroughly confused entrance. The light slowly increased as she did
  7362. so, and by the time she reached Anon and Discord they had returned to normal.
  7363.  
  7364. “I would ask what is going on but I fear the answer would be more confusing than
  7365. the question,” Luna remarked, as she took in the still-cheering crowd.
  7366.  
  7367. “Discord wanted to help out today,” Anon said, and Discord nodded his head with
  7368. enough force to make a rattling noise. “He actually was really helpful with the
  7369. first petitioner.”
  7370.  
  7371. One eyebrow peaked as Luna gave Anon a sly smile. “Oh? You started without me?”
  7372.  
  7373.  
  7374. * * ✹ * *
  7375.  
  7376.  
  7377. “Thank you, Princess!”
  7378.  
  7379. “Not at all. Good day, fair subject!”
  7380.  
  7381. Luna chuckled as she waved to the departing petitioner before offering a
  7382. satisfied sigh. “A most charming stallion,” she remarked to Anon. “My sister
  7383. should have told me day court was this easy. I would have offered her a day off
  7384. many moons ago.”
  7385.  
  7386. “I don’t think this is normal,” Anon replied. “Five petitioners in two hours?”
  7387.  
  7388. “It is unusually dead, Your Highness,” Wysteria added. “Usually we have this
  7389. many petitions in the first fifteen minutes.”
  7390.  
  7391. “But if these petitions are indicative of what she usually contends with then
  7392. she has greatly exaggerated her workload. Perhaps I will run day court on my own
  7393. sometime.”
  7394.  
  7395. “I’m sure Celestia would appreciate the day off, Your Highness,” Wysteria said
  7396. with a slight roll of her eyes.
  7397.  
  7398. “But since we speak of Celly, I understand you had a disagreement with her
  7399. yesterday,” she flatly remarked to Anon.
  7400.  
  7401. “A small argument. Nothing to worry about.”
  7402.  
  7403. “Hmm. Was the argument her fault or yours?”
  7404.  
  7405. “Well, it was hers. She accused me of pandering to her when I was just trying to
  7406. be nice.”
  7407.  
  7408. “And the incident with the citron pressé?”
  7409.  
  7410. “Heh, you heard about that?” he asked as he rubbed the back of his head in
  7411. embarrassment. “Yeah. Not my best moment, but she never told me what was going
  7412. on. I just assumed it was for lemonade.”
  7413.  
  7414. “I see. May I offer a small piece of advice?”
  7415.  
  7416. “Sure.”
  7417.  
  7418. “From what I have heard of the incident, I believe my sister was more in the
  7419. wrong than you were, especially with the lemonade. It was not fair of her to
  7420. assume that you knew about Prench customs since you are an upscale cook and can
  7421. make Prench meals.”
  7422.  
  7423. “But that’s just it: I can’t. My family specializes in Caballian and Equestrian
  7424. dishes. My mom always said the Prench were too snobby.”
  7425.  
  7426. “But does Celly know that?”
  7427.  
  7428. “Uh…” he stalled out in thought. “I guess not.”
  7429.  
  7430. Luna nodded. “Exactly. In her mind, you are fluent in foreign customs because of
  7431. your background. She had no way of knowing that you did not know.”
  7432.  
  7433. “So that was my fault?”
  7434.  
  7435. “In a way. If you ever find yourself making an assumption, Anon, ask somepony
  7436. about it and make sure you are right first. You will avoid a lot of headaches
  7437. and angry ministers by doing that.”
  7438.  
  7439. “Oh.”
  7440.  
  7441. “My sister could have handled the situation in a more controlled and
  7442. professional manner, however. I intend to speak to her about this as well.”
  7443.  
  7444. “Thank you. That would be nice.”
  7445.  
  7446. “I won’t make a habit out of this, however. You need to work out your
  7447. difficulties with your wife without a mediator. In fact, you should really talk
  7448. to her about what has happened.”
  7449.  
  7450. “I should?”
  7451.  
  7452. “Open wounds that are not treated will fester and decay. Your relationship with
  7453. Celly is your responsibility, not mine. You need to deal with these issues as
  7454. they come.”
  7455.  
  7456. “Oh, right,” he said thoughtfully. Though he had no idea how to even start that
  7457. sort of a conversation with Celestia he knew that she was right. He needed to be
  7458. the one to discuss the issues with her, not another.
  7459.  
  7460. “Wysteria, send in the next petitioner,” Luna called out.
  7461.  
  7462. “There’s nopony to send, Your Highness,” Wysteria replied over her shoulder as
  7463. she looked down the hallway.
  7464.  
  7465. “Oh. Well, I suppose this would be a good time to relax.  Tell me, Anon, do you
  7466. enjoy—”
  7467.  
  7468. A sudden coughing fit overtook her, and Anon watched her hack for a good twenty
  7469. seconds before she finally brought herself under control.
  7470.  
  7471. “You’re not getting sick too, are you?” he asked with concern.
  7472.  
  7473. “Don’t be ridiculous. I had a shield up when I visited this morning. I am not
  7474. getting sick.” > 29. - A Wrinkle In Time >
  7475. --------------------------------------------------------------------------
  7476.  
  7477. “This is all your fault,” Luna grumbled as she blew her nose into an
  7478. already-overused tissue.
  7479.  
  7480. “It’s always my fault,” Celestia replied with annoyance and a matching honk of
  7481. her own.
  7482.  
  7483. “Oh, stop that, you two,” Horsenpfeffer admonished. “You’re worse than my
  7484. twins.”
  7485.  
  7486. “She started it,” Celestia muttered.
  7487.  
  7488. “I’ll finish it, too,” Luna weakly threatened.
  7489.  
  7490. Horsenpfeffer groaned and bopped Luna on the nose just hard enough for it to
  7491. smart. “It’s not her fault. You could have caught this from anywhere.”
  7492.  
  7493. “This is Anon’s doing. He infected me somehow,” Luna groused while rubbing her
  7494. snout.
  7495.  
  7496. “He did not. Non Pegasi can’t carry the virus. You picked this up from a pegasus
  7497. somewhere.”
  7498.  
  7499. Discord’s amused chortling drifted over from the corner, and all three mares
  7500. turned to give him an icy stare.
  7501.  
  7502. “You do know the feather flu can jump species, right?” the good doctor remarked
  7503. dryly. “And, opposite though they may be, you do have wings.”
  7504.  
  7505. Discord immediately stopped laughing, sat up straight and emitted a honk from…
  7506. somewhere, gulped as his left eye twitched and then promptly disappeared in a
  7507. flash, leaving nothing behind but the smell of menthol. Both Luna and Celestia
  7508. chuckled at the revelation before passing a tissue box between them for the
  7509. eightieth time.
  7510.  
  7511. “Where did my husband disappear to?” Celestia asked.
  7512.  
  7513. “I told him to go order a nice warm stew from the kitchens,” Horsenpfeffer said.
  7514. “And I believe he said something about checking with Wysteria to make sure there
  7515. was nothing that needed to be done.”
  7516.  
  7517. Celestia snuggled down into her pillow with a sigh. “Order? My Anon is a most
  7518. disobedient spouse. He’s going to make something, and since both of us are
  7519. indisposed, he’s going to make a lot of it.” The corners of her lips turned up
  7520. ever so slightly, even after another long nose blowing. “Don’t worry, dear
  7521. sister. I’ll share.”
  7522.  
  7523. “Good,” Luna sighed. “A warm bowl of anything would be most welcome right now.”
  7524.  
  7525. “He shouldn’t be long.” Celestia chuckled. “If I were to guess, I imagine he is
  7526. being a rather large pest in the kitchen right now in an effort to help both of
  7527. us feel better.”
  7528.  
  7529. “Well, other than the Feather Flu, I think you’re fine,” Horsenpfeffer announced
  7530. to Luna. “Your treatment is the same as your sister’s: lots of orange juice and
  7531. rest. If you exert yourself, you’ll stay sick longer. Also, stay away from
  7532. anypony with wings.”
  7533.  
  7534. “I will.” Luna nodded. “Thank you, Doctor.”
  7535.  
  7536. “You’re welcome. I’ll be back in the morning to check on you,” she continued.
  7537. “If you need me before then, just send Prince Anon after me.”
  7538.  
  7539. “We will, but we will also try not to disturb you.”
  7540.  
  7541. “Sounds good. Good evening, Your Highnesses.”
  7542.  
  7543. Luna and Celestia shared a round of coughs between them as the doctor left, and
  7544. then Luna moaned. “I hate getting sick.”
  7545.  
  7546. “That makes two of us,” Celestia added. “But, I do have to admit it has been
  7547. peaceful to simply rest. I didn’t realize how nice it could be to let somepony
  7548. else take over for a time.”
  7549.  
  7550. “Perhaps this will cure you of your workaholic nature then.”
  7551.  
  7552. “Probably not.” Celestia chuckled. “I know I need to ease up but it’s hard to do
  7553. so after a millennium of being unable to.”
  7554.  
  7555. “You should, though. You’re going to drive away your Anon if you don’t.”
  7556.  
  7557. “Drive him away? He’s been helping me run the kingdom already.”
  7558.  
  7559. “Has he, in truth?” Luna asked with a wary eye. “From what I have heard, his
  7560. help was most unwelcome yesterday.”
  7561.  
  7562. “That wasn’t help,” Celestia said, her mood souring instantly with the mention
  7563. of the incident. “He was pandering to me, Lulu. I told him about Daybreaker, and
  7564. then he decided to start walking on eggshells.”
  7565.  
  7566. “Hmm. Are you sure that was his only motive?”
  7567.  
  7568. Celestia glared at her sister. “Lulu, you know I can tell when someone is lying
  7569. to me, and when they’re trying to stay on my good side.”
  7570.  
  7571. “With most ponies, yes. But I would suggest your view might be a bit skewed when
  7572. it comes to the one who has your affections. You look at Anonymous in a
  7573. different way from me, or Wysteria, or anyone else. He has a singular place in
  7574. your heart, and that changes things.”
  7575.  
  7576. “Luna, he was trying to placate me when I wasn’t upset.”
  7577.  
  7578. “All right. Let’s say you’re totally right, and that all his actions yesterday
  7579. were only to ‘placate’ and pacify you. How did you decide to tell him that you
  7580. did not appreciate what he was doing?”
  7581.  
  7582. “Well, I had a talk with him last night after he apologized for being
  7583. ridiculous. He agreed that he was wrong, and then we kissed and made up.”
  7584.  
  7585. Luna gave her a flat look. “Celly, you never just talk to anypony when you’re
  7586. upset. You lectured him, didn’t you?”
  7587.  
  7588. “No. I had a conversation with him.”
  7589.  
  7590. “What was the ratio of talk time between you and him?”
  7591.  
  7592. “Well, he…” Celestia stalled, and offered a cough. “He really didn’t say
  7593. anything.”
  7594.  
  7595. “Forgive me if I am mistaken, but I do believe a conversation requires two
  7596. active participants. When one pony speaks and another listens, that is a
  7597. lecture.”
  7598.  
  7599. “No! It was… was…” Celestia tried to think of how it hadn’t been a lecture, but
  7600. her efforts failed.
  7601.  
  7602. “It was a lecture, and I would suggest that you really didn’t make up afterward.
  7603. If I forced him to tell the truth, I am willing to bet he would say he did no
  7604. wrong and that he felt irritated by your reaction.”
  7605.  
  7606. “Why didn’t he say so, then?”
  7607.  
  7608. “Anon is someone who likes peace, Sister, and he’d rather let you be right than
  7609. have a fight about it. He wants you to be happy, so he let you win.”
  7610.  
  7611. “But he should have said something.” Celestia pouted.
  7612.  
  7613. “If he had, would you have listened to him?”
  7614.  
  7615. Celestia didn’t answer, but her ears folded back and she glanced away.
  7616.  
  7617. “Celly, if you intend for him to be your equal than you have to treat him as
  7618. such. He is no longer merely one of your subjects, or one of your students. You
  7619. are not the first, last, and every word in between anymore with him, and this is
  7620. doubly true when you are discussing domestic issues. You have to let him have an
  7621. opinion, and you’re going to have to let him take the lead sometimes. If he is
  7622. doing something that irks you then you have to be willing to listen to the why
  7623. behind it. What if he really just thought he was being helpful, like with the
  7624. citron pressé? Is it reasonable to suppose that he wasn’t actively trying to
  7625. pander, and that he just assumed you wanted lemonade? There are a lot of moving
  7626. parts to consider in these things.”
  7627.  
  7628. “I guess you’re right,” Celestia sighed after a moment of reflection. “I
  7629. probably did come down a bit hard on him.”
  7630.  
  7631. “One of the biggest challenges Star and I faced was making sure we were actually
  7632. communicating. You will need to watch yourself in this regard as well. Talk with
  7633. him when you sense a problem, not at him.”
  7634.  
  7635. “Thanks, Lulu. I’ll work on that.”
  7636.  
  7637. Luna blew her nose in reply just as Anon came back into the room with a
  7638. delicious-smelling pot of homebrewed goodness sitting atop the trolley cart.
  7639.  
  7640. “Not getting sick huh?” Anon smugly offered to Luna, and he received her tongue
  7641. stuck out at him for a reply.
  7642.  
  7643. “Is everything alright, Anon?” Celestia asked. “Did Wysteria need anything?”
  7644.  
  7645. “Everything is fine,” he reassured her. “Wysteria has taken care of the
  7646. reschedules, and I believe she’s heading home for the night.”
  7647.  
  7648. “Good. Hopefully I will recover enough by tomorrow to get back to work.”
  7649.  
  7650. “I hope so too, but more because I want you to get better.”
  7651.  
  7652. “Och, you’ve gone and gotten yourself sick again, haven’t you?”
  7653.  
  7654. Luna’s ears flicked. That voice, that delightfully deep brogue…
  7655.  
  7656. “What did you make?” Celestia asked Anon, as she tried to peer up and into the
  7657. pot.
  7658.  
  7659. “Make?” He scoffed. “I ordered a nice cabbage stew, just like Doctor
  7660. Horsenpfeffer asked me to.”
  7661.  
  7662. “I am not sick. This is naught but a tickle in my throat.”
  7663.  
  7664. “You did not,” Celestia challenged.
  7665.  
  7666. “I did too!” Anon protested with a laugh. “I ordered it and then ten seconds
  7667. later I got impatient and forced my way back to make it myself.”
  7668.  
  7669. “That sounds right.” Celestia chuckled.
  7670.  
  7671. “Aye, Love, you’re sick. C’mon, I’ll get somethin’ warm goin’. Ya best be
  7672. gettin’ that beautiful flank into bed.”
  7673.  
  7674. “Here, careful. It’s still hot.” Anon offered a bowl to Luna, and she nodded as
  7675. her magic took it from him.
  7676.  
  7677. “Cabbage? Thou knowest I despise cabbage.”
  7678.  
  7679. “Ah know, Ah know. But the war ain’t been kind to the crops, and your sister
  7680. insisted the staff cut back to half-rations to help feed the front lines. It’s
  7681. all we have at the moment, Love.”
  7682.  
  7683. The smell of pinewood and moss drifted into Luna’s nostrils, smells that had not
  7684. deigned to introduce themselves nor to keep her company for well over twelve
  7685. hundred years. She inhaled deeply to savor them, to relish them, and to help
  7686. recall the memories that they had brought as company with them.
  7687.  
  7688. “I should be at the front with my troops.”
  7689.  
  7690. “Och, and what good’ll that do? You’d spread that cough through the ranks and do
  7691. more damage than the ‘Squatch ever could.”
  7692.  
  7693. “But my place is there, with they who labor under the banner of Equestria,” she
  7694. protested. “I refuse to lead from the rear.”
  7695.  
  7696. “Ah, well, you best be restin’ then. Sooner you get over this the sooner you can
  7697. get back to ‘em, ya mule.”
  7698.  
  7699. “I am not a mule!” she said with a laugh.
  7700.  
  7701. “You act it sometimes,” he replied with a scoff and a smile.
  7702.  
  7703. Luna watched silently as Anon stood in front of Celestia and began gently
  7704. blowing across the top of the stew. Celestia chuckled as he aimed the vapor
  7705. towards her, and she took deep breaths of the savory aroma each time they wafted
  7706. towards her.
  7707.  
  7708. “How are things at the front, Love?”
  7709.  
  7710. “There are steady gains, and my sister hath raised a flag of truce to offer
  7711. terms of capitulation. Time will tell if the envoy is accepted or not, however.”
  7712.  
  7713. “Aye, it’d be a right day if’n them ‘Squatch could come to terms. It gets a mite
  7714. bit hard explain’ why you’re gone, and I canna help but worry about ya. Spears
  7715. pierce the hide all the same, immortal or no.”
  7716.  
  7717. “Oo, careful,” Anon cautioned. “It’s still pretty hot. Here.”
  7718.  
  7719. Celestia picked her head up and readjusted her front legs, and she gladly opened
  7720. her mouth as Anon approached with the spoon. She hummed a little as he fed her
  7721. gently, and with a gentle toss of her mane she prepared for him to come again.
  7722.  
  7723. “Och, here. Best not to burn you with this. Open up.”
  7724.  
  7725. “You sure you want me to keep doing this?” Anon asked. “I was just letting you
  7726. sample it, to make sure it was the right temperature.”
  7727.  
  7728. “Oh, but my dear Anon, I am sick!” Celestia gently pouted. “And you were given
  7729. instruction to keep me from exerting myself! I have just enough strength to chew
  7730. and swallow. I will need your assistance with the rest.”
  7731.  
  7732. “You’re terrible.” Anon laughed, as the flames in the fireplace behind them
  7733. whipped and surged slightly, and the crackle increased a tick in volume. “But if
  7734. you insist.”
  7735.  
  7736. “I do insist. Thy princess requireth sustenance, and thou art the only stallion
  7737. who can satisfy mine appetite.”
  7738.  
  7739. “Ah, yah must be sicker than I thought.” Star Struck chuckled a little, as he
  7740. scooped out another spoonful. “Broken to the point of bein’ unable to feed
  7741. yourself? I guess Ah’ll just ‘have to nurse ya back myself.”
  7742.  
  7743. “Thy princess expecteth it,” Luna said with a snort of happiness.
  7744.  
  7745. “Ah always knew you enjoyed bein’ pampered.”
  7746.  
  7747. “I am not being pampered. Thou art assisting thy very weak and famished wife.”
  7748.  
  7749. “‘Assisting.’ Darlin’, you may be a warrior on the surface, but deep down you’re
  7750. a princess, and ya enjoy bein’ treated like one. You’d keep me here, waiting on
  7751. your every need if you could.”
  7752.  
  7753. “And I would regret not a moment of it,” she said with joy.
  7754.  
  7755. The flames surged again in the fireplace, but Anonymous and Celestia were so
  7756. absorbed in each other’s eyes that the action went unnoticed. Luna smiled to
  7757. herself as Anon would gently blow across the stew in the spoon, move carefully
  7758. to feed it to Celestia, and then retreat and start again once she had delicately
  7759. sipped the succulence off and smiled anew.
  7760.  
  7761. Luna smiled more as she continued to watch. Hundreds of years had passed, and
  7762. yet love still had the astonishing power that it always held. A princess had,
  7763. again, allowed a pauper into her heart, and a pauper was willing to climb the
  7764. near-impossible mountains of expectation in order to have his princess. Love was
  7765. weaving two hearts into one, caring not for station or power or custom. He was
  7766. hers, and she was his. What else mattered in the end?
  7767.  
  7768. The fire once again surged, and Luna closed her eyes softly. Nothing else had
  7769. mattered then either.
  7770.  
  7771.  
  7772. * * 🌙 * *
  7773.  
  7774.  
  7775. Aye, there ya go. How’s that cough feelin’?”
  7776.  
  7777. “Better.” Luna hummed. “If thou wilt continue to provide to my needs in such
  7778. manner, I believe my recovery shall be swift and sure.”
  7779.  
  7780. “Glad to hear it. I hate to see you sick.”
  7781.  
  7782. Luna softly slurped the contents of the offered spoon, and she quickly booped
  7783. Star Struck’s nose before he could pull back again.
  7784.  
  7785. “I love you.”
  7786.  
  7787. “Aye, I love you too.” He chuckled. “Even when you’re actin’ like a mule.”
  7788.  
  7789. “Thou wouldst be most displeased if I was not, and thou knowest it.”
  7790.  
  7791. He simply nodded to this, and offered another spoonful to her. “Aye. I canna
  7792. deny that. Yer just perfect.”
  7793.  
  7794. Luna purred a bit, and a happy silence passed between them for a few minutes as
  7795. he continued to spoon feed her. He then chuckled, and she gave him a curious
  7796. glance.
  7797.  
  7798. “What doth amuse thee?”
  7799.  
  7800. “Ah, nuttin,” he said. “Just thinking.”
  7801.  
  7802. “Wilt thou not share thy thoughts?”
  7803.  
  7804. “Och, ‘tis nuttin’ but a memory.”
  7805.  
  7806. “Please?” Luna gently asked, before taking another sip. He gave her a soft
  7807. smile, and then sighed happily.
  7808.  
  7809. “D’ya remember the first time ya raised the moon with me?”
  7810.  
  7811. She hummed as the memory instantly came back to her. “I shall never forget it.”
  7812.  
  7813. “‘Twas a night I dunna think I could ever forget either. Ah knew yer were up to
  7814. something when you invited me out on that veranda, but no stallion in his right
  7815. mind could turn away from that teasing flick o’ the tail ya gave me.”
  7816.  
  7817. “Thou hast always had a strange fascination with my backside.”
  7818.  
  7819. “D’ya blame me? That ‘backside’ o’ yours is mesmerizing,” he said with a laugh.
  7820. “But then you draped your wing over me, and Ah thought Ah’d never find a deeper
  7821. happiness.
  7822.  
  7823. “But then you raised the moon,” he continued that soft and smooth tone that
  7824. drove her absolutely wild. “There Ah stood, under the wing o’ the most beautiful
  7825. mare to ever grace the fields o’ Barra, watchin’ as the magic of the moon mixed
  7826. with the gentle caress of your side against mine. Ah just couldn’t believe that
  7827. a low-born mud-trotter like me could ever catch the attention of a princess, and
  7828. Ah had not only done that but Ah’d somehow fallen in love with ya.
  7829.  
  7830. “And then you leaned in close to my ear. You have a voice that can shake the
  7831. very stars above, but when you started to whisper you were as smooth as silk.
  7832. You told me of your love for me, how you cherished me. You spoke of how Ah’d
  7833. changed you, tempered you.
  7834.  
  7835. “And you told me you’d give it all up if you had to. The titles, the power, even
  7836. the moon itself if’n it came to that. All of it was nuttin’ if you couldn’t have
  7837. me.
  7838.  
  7839. “Ah knew, right then, that Ah couldn’t live without you. We had been woven
  7840. together, so fast and tight that the only way to separate us was to rend the
  7841. very heavens themselves. Come what may, my destiny was with you, from then to
  7842. forevermore.
  7843.  
  7844. “Heh. It’s amazin’ how one moment like that can change everythin’. Right then Ah
  7845. knew that Ah knew, and Ah could never turn away from you without turnin’ away
  7846. from myself.”
  7847.  
  7848. “Hmm,” Luna sighed happily. “And thou hast remained, amidst toils and
  7849. tribulations most severe. Thou hast been a most loyal companion, and I will
  7850. forever be grateful for thy devotion.”
  7851.  
  7852. A soft tapping came at the door, and Luna visibly grew eager in anticipation
  7853. while she sat up and turned to face the source of the sound.
  7854.  
  7855. “Och! Who’s makin’ all that fuss?” Star Struck called out playfully. “Get in
  7856. here and present yerself!”
  7857.  
  7858. “Can Ah come in? Auntie Celly says Mum is sick.”
  7859.  
  7860. “Get in here, yah wee rascal!”
  7861.  
  7862. The door nudged open just enough for a small lavender unicorn filly to stick her
  7863. head through. She wore a worried look, but as soon as she saw Luna’s
  7864. outstretched arms she flung the door open and galloped over as fast as her
  7865. little legs could carry her. Both she and Luna laughed as they embraced, and
  7866. Luna gave the small bundle a quick noserub after they had done so.
  7867.  
  7868. “My precious little Twilight! How art thou this fine evening?”
  7869.  
  7870. “Ah’m good, Mum,” the blank-flanked filly replied with a huge grin. “Are you
  7871. really sick?”
  7872.  
  7873. “Indeed, but ‘tis nothing more than the Feather Flu. Thy father hath been most
  7874. attentive to my needs, and I believe my recovery shall be swift.”
  7875.  
  7876. “Good, ‘cause you said when you got back you were gonna show me how you raise
  7877. the moon.”
  7878.  
  7879. “I did?!” Luna gasped in faux surprise. “Mine illness must be most severe. I do
  7880. not recall any such promise.”
  7881.  
  7882. “You did too!” Twilight protested vehemently. “You said Ah could help you raise
  7883. it!”
  7884.  
  7885. “Ah, now the memory returneth,” Luna said with a sly smile. “You will want to
  7886. raise it tonight, I suppose?”
  7887.  
  7888. “Uh-huh!” Twilight replied with a vigorous nod of her head. “Ah’ve been goin’
  7889. over all the instructions you gave me. Ah calculated the relative velocity,
  7890. accounted fer atmospheric interference and weight distribution—”
  7891.  
  7892. “Aye, that she has,” Star Struck confirmed as Luna glanced over at him in
  7893. surprised joy. “Ah’ve even caught her mumblin’ things like ‘apogee’ and
  7894. ‘sidereal rotation period’ in her sleep.”
  7895.  
  7896. “And how have thy studies with Master Starswirl fared?” Luna asked her daughter.
  7897.  
  7898. “Uh, well…” Twilight twiddled a hoof on the floor. “My grades are good, Mum,
  7899. they really are.”
  7900.  
  7901. “But?” Luna asked after the pause.
  7902.  
  7903. “But he’s so BORIN’!” The little unicorn couldn’t help but blurt out. “All day!
  7904. Nuttin’ but formulae and theory and conjectures. He dunna know how to have fun!”
  7905.  
  7906. “Aye, our little Twilight Starbright got herself into a wee spot o’ trouble
  7907. yesterday,” Star Struck added.
  7908.  
  7909. “Oh?” Luna asked.
  7910.  
  7911. “Ah canna help it if Starswirl canna take a joke,” Twilight muttered. “All Ah
  7912. did was turn his beard green.”
  7913.  
  7914. “Green?” Luna chuckled. “Thou madest his beard green?”
  7915.  
  7916. “Yeah! Wasn’t hard neither,” Twilight announced in pride. “All Ah had to do was
  7917. sneak a reactive agent in to his prune juice. I dunna know how he figured out it
  7918. was me, though.”
  7919.  
  7920. “Thou art a wee rascal indeed,” Luna said with a laugh. “While I do not condone
  7921. thine actions, Master Starswirl doth need to ‘lighten up’ in my opinion. If thou
  7922. dost vex him again, make sure thou art not caught.”
  7923.  
  7924. All three of them laughed at this before Twilight piped up again. “Ah will. So
  7925. can ya show me how to raise the moon?”
  7926.  
  7927. “I suppose I can,” Luna replied, and her little filly whooped in joy. Another
  7928. knock at the door interrupted the celebration, but all three were pleasantly
  7929. surprised when they saw who had knocked.
  7930.  
  7931. “Auntie Celly!” Twilight cried out.
  7932.  
  7933. “Good evening, Twilight!” Celestia replied, as she placed her golden helm down
  7934. and strode into the room. “I trust thou art well?”
  7935.  
  7936. “Yeah! Mum’s gonna let me help her raise the moon tonight!”
  7937.  
  7938. “Ah! Wonderful news!” Celestia replied. “Thou art sure to be an expert at it,
  7939. just like thy mother.”
  7940.  
  7941. “What bringeth thee back here, Sister?” Luna asked. “Thou art still in thine
  7942. armor, so thou must be leaving again soon.”
  7943.  
  7944. “Of a truth, I return only to share good news with my friends. The Sasquatch
  7945. have surrendered and accepted the terms of capitulation! The war is now at an
  7946. end.”
  7947.  
  7948. Twilight whooped again, and Luna shared a quick nuzzle with her husband to
  7949. celebrate.
  7950.  
  7951. “I must return to oversee the disarmament and to ensure compliance with the
  7952. terms, but I felt that thy recovery, dear sister, might be expedited if thou
  7953. knewest of these things. I have given thy division to Flash Magnus to oversee,
  7954. and thou art relieved of thy duties at the front. Stay, be with your family, and
  7955. rest. I shall return when all is completed, and we shall then have a banquet in
  7956. celebration of our victory.”
  7957.  
  7958. “Will it actually be ‘our’ victory this time, or wilt thou somehow make it thine
  7959. own success again?” Luna replied darkly.
  7960.  
  7961. “Now,” Star Struck interjected. “this is not the time to be pickin’ more fights,
  7962. love.”
  7963.  
  7964. “Very well,” she replied before focusing back on Celestia. “Now leave before
  7965. thou art struck down by my illness as well!”
  7966.  
  7967. Celestia chuckled and recovered her helm with her magic. “By your leave, then.
  7968. Fare thee well.”
  7969.  
  7970. “Well!” Luna announced after Celestia had left. “My spirits are most renewed.
  7971. Come, my precious Twilight. Tonight thou shalt assist me in raising the moon.”
  7972.  
  7973.  
  7974. * * 🌙 * *
  7975.  
  7976.  
  7977. “Now, remember that the moon will be much heavier than thou art anticipating.
  7978. Thou must—”
  7979.  
  7980. “Ah know, Mum! Ah know,” Twilight protested.
  7981.  
  7982. “Ya best be lettin’ her get to it. She canna take the anticipation anymore.”
  7983. Star Struck laughed.
  7984.  
  7985. “All right. Since thou art so eager to proceed,” Luna replied. Twilight let out
  7986. a grunt of anticipation, quickly twisted to face the east, then crouched
  7987. slightly and flared her horn.
  7988.  
  7989. “Och, she looks like a right proper stinkbug she does,” Star whispered to his
  7990. wife.
  7991.  
  7992. Luna began to protest, but she had stop and hold back her laughter as her
  7993. daughter began wiggling her rump slightly and swishing her tail. “All right. Art
  7994. thou in harmony with the moon yet?” Luna asked while draping a wing over her
  7995. beloved.
  7996.  
  7997. “Just...about…” Twilight grunted.
  7998.  
  7999. “Remember, thou shouldst feel the harmony. Tis not something thou canst touch
  8000. with thy natural senses.”
  8001.  
  8002. Luna’s own magic began to work, and she gently weaved her magic in with her
  8003. daughter’s. She felt along the threads Twilight had created, and she was
  8004. impressed. Her daughter had everything nearly perfect.
  8005.  
  8006. “Now, guide it up.”
  8007.  
  8008. Twilight grunted in exertion. Despite all of her bravado earlier, Luna could
  8009. feel her young one straining against the weight of the moon, and she smiled
  8010. deeply. With a touch of her own magic to assist, the moon gently rose over the
  8011. treetops and into full view.
  8012.  
  8013. “Ah did it,” Twilight panted, the exertion showing in her flushed cheeks as she
  8014. turned to face her parents with a pleased smile. “Ah did it! Ah raised it!”
  8015.  
  8016. “Aye, and a fair job ya did of it too,” Star Struck remarked. “Good job, Lass!”
  8017.  
  8018. “Can Ah help again tomorrow?” Twilight eagerly asked her parents. “Please?”
  8019.  
  8020. “I believe that can be accommodated,” Luna replied, and she laughed with her
  8021. husband as Twilight began cheering and hopping around in a circle in joy.
  8022.  
  8023. “D’ya think she’ll be able to raise it on her own one day?” Star asked.
  8024.  
  8025. “That I am unsure of,” Luna replied, and her gaze turned back to the silver orb
  8026. before them. “My magic is greater than hers, and…”
  8027.  
  8028. No. Not here, not now.
  8029.  
  8030. “Love? What is it?” Star Struck asked.
  8031.  
  8032. Luna’s eyes narrowed as the featureless expression of the Tantabus began to
  8033. drift across the moon. There was only one reason why it would show now.
  8034.  
  8035. “Leave,” Luna commanded. “This memory is not given to you, nor will it ever. You
  8036. are to remain within the dream that I have created for you. Disobey and you will
  8037. cease to be.”
  8038.  
  8039. The Tantabus paused, and Luna almost thought she could see defiance moving
  8040. across the deep purple aether that made up the nightly reminder of her betrayal.
  8041. After that moment was over, though, it complied and slid out of view, and Luna
  8042. turned to her husband and offered a wane smile.
  8043.  
  8044. “Forgive me, Love. My thoughts became troubled for a moment, but they are
  8045. hampered no more.”
  8046.  
  8047. “Are yah sure? I dunna know what ya rebuked but it seemed serious.”
  8048.  
  8049. “I am sure, Star. Come. Let us dwell on this no more. I believe we shall now
  8050. make a daring midnight raid of the castle’s stores in celebration of my
  8051. daughter’s achievements!”
  8052.  
  8053. “Yes!” Twilight cheered. “C’mon! If we hurry we can beat the patrols!”
  8054.  
  8055. “Oy! How d’ya know how to do that?” Star Struck called out in amused alarm as
  8056. his daughter shot off into the keep.
  8057.  
  8058.  
  8059. * * 🌙 * *
  8060.  
  8061.  
  8062. “Did she really?” Celestia asked.
  8063.  
  8064. “Yup. She’s out,” Anon confirmed.
  8065.  
  8066. “Dear Lulu.” Celestia chuckled warmly. “Good thing she raised the moon before
  8067. her energy left her.”
  8068.  
  8069. “I’ll go get another blanket,” Anon offered.
  8070.  
  8071. “Good idea. She’ll need it tonight if she has the chills like I did.”
  8072.  
  8073. “I hope she doesn’t,” he said before moving back towards the closet. “What do
  8074. you suppose she’s dreaming about?”
  8075.  
  8076. “Something pleasant, I hope,” Celestia said with a sigh. “She always seems so
  8077. tortured when I see her sleeping, so restless. I sometimes wonder if all those
  8078. nightmares that she fights off somehow affect her own sleeping.”
  8079.  
  8080. “That wouldn’t be fun.” Anon walked back into the room, nearly covered in a
  8081. thick blanket. “She deserves to have sweet dreams when she sleeps.”
  8082.  
  8083. “That she does,” Celestia agreed. She smiled deeply as she watched Anon unfold
  8084. the blanket, drape it over Luna’s sleeping form, and then tuck in the edges
  8085. around her body to keep any cold drafts from disturbing her.
  8086.  
  8087. “There we go,” he announced once he was finished. “That should keep her warm.”
  8088.  
  8089. “We’ll keep an eye on her tonight, too,” Celestia replied, lifting her wing and
  8090. allowing Anon to snuggle in beside her again. “But, I guess when I say ‘we’ I
  8091. should really say ‘you.’ I may not be so easy to rouse this evening.”
  8092.  
  8093. “I don’t mind. One night’s worth of lost sleep is worth having the both of you
  8094. feel better.”
  8095.  
  8096. “So devoted,” Celestia replied warmly as she nuzzled him. “Thank you for
  8097. everything you’ve done today.”
  8098.  
  8099. “Aww,” he stammered. “You’re welcome. Just don’t get sick again!”
  8100.  
  8101. Celestia laughed. “If I can help it in any way, I will certainly avoid it.” >
  8102. 30. - Understanding >
  8103. --------------------------------------------------------------------------
  8104.  
  8105. Celestia, Princess of the Sun and Ruler of the Day awoke with a bit of a start.
  8106. She yawned, smacked her lips, and then moved to boop her Anon.
  8107.  
  8108. She would have succeeded, too, were it not for the fact that Anonymous had
  8109. pulled his disappearing act yet again. She really needed to ask him how he
  8110. managed to do that.
  8111.  
  8112. “Anon?” she called out softly.
  8113.  
  8114. A loud snore from Luna came in reply, and Celestia winced as she realized that
  8115. neither of them had taken the anti-snoring pill last night. It was little wonder
  8116. he had slunk out, because he was probably worried about long-term hearing
  8117. damage.
  8118.  
  8119. She then bit her lower lip in playfulness. A game of hide and seek with her
  8120. Prince? The idea had great appeal. But where would he have gotten to?
  8121.  
  8122. “Hmm,” she cooed. Perhaps he had snuck away to the north tower again. It would
  8123. be familiar, and not too far away.
  8124.  
  8125. A quick glance at the clock told her she had thirty minutes before sunrise,
  8126. which was more than enough time to find him and then smother him with apologetic
  8127. kisses. After a playful giggle and a quick check in the mirror to make sure she
  8128. was presentable enough to leave the room, she then moved out into the hall and
  8129. off towards her prize.
  8130.  
  8131. The guards in the hallway offered a salute as she exited and began her search,
  8132. and she nodded pleasantly to each one when she casually strolled by. She felt
  8133. quite renewed, she realized, and all of the horrible symptoms of her illness
  8134. from yesterday had cleared out. This burst of energy was a bit difficult to
  8135. contain, but she didn’t want to tip off the whole palace to her motives and fun.
  8136.  
  8137. Once she reached the north tower, she gently and carefully eased the door open
  8138. and peered inside. Sadly, there was no Anon, only an unoccupied room that
  8139. awaited a guest. With a mischievous huff, Celestia pulled the door shut and then
  8140. casually began walking to the next potential location: the kitchens.
  8141.  
  8142. “He could be making breakfast.” She considered the concept with delighted glee.
  8143. “A nice omelette, maybe, or some delicious buttermilk biscuits.”
  8144.  
  8145. But this turned up no Anon as well. Chef Beet and her staff hadn’t seen him that
  8146. morning, but she was kind enough to offer waffles and hash browns for the
  8147. morning meal. Celestia accepted the offer with a graceful smile, and then
  8148. resumed her search.
  8149.  
  8150. She really didn’t think he would be in the dining room, but she peeked in just
  8151. to be sure and quickly confirmed her suspicions. She then moved towards the
  8152. throne room with a bit more enthusiasm, the throne was comfortable enough to
  8153. sleep on. She should know; she had dealt with so many long-winded petitioners
  8154. after long and restless nights that she had finally taught herself how to sleep
  8155. with her eyes open.
  8156.  
  8157. This, however, came up clear as well, and now she was growing eager and a bit
  8158. concerned. She was confident he wouldn’t leave the palace, but why would he go
  8159. anywhere else within?
  8160.  
  8161. “Perhaps he asked for a guest room—any guest room—where could rest,” she
  8162. considered softly to herself. “Mm, but that would take the rest of the day to
  8163. search.”
  8164.  
  8165. In the interest of time Celestia decided to cheat a little. She sent out a quick
  8166. searching spell to locate what room he could have been placed in, but even this
  8167. came back Anonless, and that moved Celestia into the worried category.
  8168.  
  8169. “Why would he leave?” she muttered to herself as she moved back towards her
  8170. room. “Unless he got called away for something, but what could possibly…”
  8171.  
  8172. She then had a sudden realization, and she smiled deeply to herself. There was
  8173. one other place he could be, somewhere somewhat quiet and yet close enough that
  8174. he could respond quickly if he needed to.
  8175.  
  8176. “The balcony.”
  8177.  
  8178. She opted for a teleport spell this time, and she was quite pleased to find her
  8179. assumption had been correct. Her marvelous Anon was near the far edge, his body
  8180. facing east and leaning on the railing. Her poor husband had fallen asleep while
  8181. standing, and Celestia imagined he was going to be a bit sore once she woke him
  8182. up.
  8183.  
  8184. She giggled a little while sliding up next to him, and she started to gently nip
  8185. at the base of his neck. His eyes twitched, and a soft moan of happiness gurgled
  8186. out of his throat, so she slowly began moving up towards his cheek. His head
  8187. rose as she moved upward, and a pair of puckered lips awaited her once she
  8188. reached the top. She took the invitation but teased him with just a quick peck,
  8189. and he let a moan of sadness out before blinking his eyes open.
  8190.  
  8191. “Ungh?” Celestia attempted to make a word out of Anon’s moan before offering
  8192. another light giggle. “I think that means you were expecting more?”
  8193.  
  8194. “I was,” he simply replied.
  8195.  
  8196. “Well, you impertinent human you, I don’t kiss just anyone,” she said as she
  8197. retreated back and stood at her full height. She tried to look stern, but the
  8198. playful smile that tugged at the corners of her mouth gave away her true
  8199. feelings as she continued. “I am the Princess of the Sun, after all. I have very
  8200. exacting demands, and no male has been able to measure up. I reserve my
  8201. affection for those who are deserving of it, those whom I trust and care for. I
  8202. refuse to let my royal lips—”
  8203.  
  8204. Anon wasn’t going to wait for her to finish her speech. He simply leaned
  8205. forward, and in one swift move he locked his lips to hers and wrapped his arms
  8206. around her neck. They stayed in this embrace for several long minutes, and when
  8207. Anon finally did pull back Celestia fluttered her eyes open and gave him a
  8208. deeply pleased smile.
  8209.  
  8210. “You keep sticking your tongue in there like that and you’re going to reverse
  8211. the colors of my mane.”
  8212.  
  8213. “Ah, but I’m just brushing up on my diplomatic knowledge. I think the Prench
  8214. enjoy kissing in this style, don’t they?” Anon asked.
  8215.  
  8216. “Indeed they do, but that is only part of a true Prench experience. Tu parles
  8217. prançais, mon amour?” Celly quipped, her transition to Prench flawless.
  8218.  
  8219. But Anon was not to be outdone without a fight on this one, and he smiled
  8220. deeply. “Un semestre à l’école secondaire. Et c’était pour impressionner une
  8221. fille,” he said, and Celestia smiled deeply. His words were choppy, provincial,
  8222. boorish, and he was speaking through his nose; but it was respectable for
  8223. Equestrian standards at least. In time, he could stand up to diplomatic
  8224. scrutiny, with some tutoring.
  8225.  
  8226. This was a prospect that made her extremely giddy.
  8227.  
  8228. “Pour une fille? Comme c’est romantique.”
  8229.  
  8230. “ça n’a pas vraiment… something… oh, whatever the phrase is for ‘it didn’t work
  8231. out.”
  8232.  
  8233. “Quel dommage,” Celestia said softly. And her loss is my gain.
  8234.  
  8235. “Is that what it is? I haven’t really spoken it since then. I’m probably giving
  8236. the pronunciation a slow and painful death.”
  8237.  
  8238. “Not quite that bad. You could pass as a better than average tourist, but for
  8239. what we do I will need to—” she snuck in so close that her breath tickled the
  8240. fur of his ear “—give you a few lessons.”
  8241.  
  8242. How her heart leapt when his breath hitched and shuttered at her words. It was a
  8243. completely new and wonderful take on the phrase ‘hanging on her every word.’
  8244.  
  8245. “And how would you do that?” he whispered.
  8246.  
  8247. “I would start with your pronunciation. You should speak slowly but confidently,
  8248. much like how you would add spices to a simmering pot. Each word should be
  8249. finely seasoned and dressed, and served in the most delectable manner possible.”
  8250.  
  8251. “Could you give me an example? I always do better if I can hear it as opposed to
  8252. reading it.”
  8253.  
  8254. Celestia took a brief moment to deeply breathe in the scent of her beloved, and
  8255. with his unique blend of eleven herbs and spices on her mind, she offered her
  8256. deepest and truest feelings to him. “Mon amour le plus cher, vous n’avez aucune
  8257. idée combien j’adore votre passion et votre fièvre.”
  8258.  
  8259. “My dear, your whispered words taste like the purest golden honey to me,” Anon
  8260. softly replied, and she giggled as she watched his hair on his neck stand on end
  8261. and his face flush with pleasure before he continued “I have never realized
  8262. before how the fullness of your syllables and the elegance of your tones set my
  8263. world alight. Even your lilts, oh sweet harmony! How your lilts make me ache for
  8264. you to say more.”
  8265.  
  8266. “Quand nous nous embrassons, je suis à nouveau une jeune jument ravie,” she
  8267. cooed into his ear. “Tu me fais frémir et souffre pour ton amour. Dites que vous
  8268. serez à moi.”
  8269.  
  8270. Celestia knew he had only comprehended half of her words at best, but the magic
  8271. of her love in her voice more than made up for the gaps. He really could only
  8272. offer one simple and breathless response to her.
  8273.  
  8274. “Oui.”
  8275.  
  8276. Her wings gently enveloped him in a deep, feathery bliss. “Ma moitié.”
  8277.  
  8278. His eyes shone as deep as the waters on the coast of Mareseille back to her as
  8279. he leaned close and simply stated, “Ma ange.”
  8280.  
  8281. “My stars, I am trying to get over being sick and I wake up to this.”  Luna
  8282. stuck out her wet tongue as she strolled up to them.
  8283.  
  8284. The moment was broken but far from forgotten, and the two lovers moved back to a
  8285. neutral stance with a chuckle before her desired wing settled once again into
  8286. its familiar place across his back.
  8287.  
  8288. “Well, you fell asleep in my room so it’s your own fault,” Celestia replied with
  8289. another quick kiss for her prince.
  8290.  
  8291. “It probably is, so in the interest of not interrupting this moment any
  8292. further—and to aid my own recovery—I’m going to lower the moon and then go to my
  8293. bed. You two can do whatever you want, just leave me out of it.”
  8294.  
  8295. “We will, don’t worry.”
  8296.  
  8297. Anon simply watched as Luna took a few steps past them to do her work. She gave
  8298. him a quick smile as she did so, and Anon felt his awe grow anew as her magic
  8299. gently moved up and touched the moon.
  8300.  
  8301. “Celly?” he whispered while Luna slowly began moving her heavenly object below
  8302. the horizon, “May I ask you something?”
  8303.  
  8304. “Of course. What is it?”
  8305.  
  8306. “Is the magic that you use to move the sun the same magic Luna is using now?”
  8307.  
  8308. “It is, but the technique is different. When I raise the sun, I have to use a
  8309. more forceful and heavy touch, if you will. The moon is… oh, I hate to use the
  8310. word delicate, but that’s really the approach you must take with it. If I hauled
  8311. it up like I did the sun, I would fling it clear across the sky and the night
  8312. would last for five seconds.”
  8313.  
  8314. “The moon is delicate, Anon.” Luna motioned with one hoof for him to come up to
  8315. her. “Its purpose is to provide serenity and peace, introspection and
  8316. revelation. There is a reason poets don’t use the sun when they speak of self
  8317. discovery. In the day, one performs their labors, and their mind is consumed
  8318. with the needs of the now. Night allows a pause, a moment to see beyond. The
  8319. pressure of the day is lessened, and the mind is able to clear. Memories are
  8320. more vibrant, and the pleasures of the past can be easily recalled.”
  8321.  
  8322. Her wing moved over the top of him, and as she finished floating the moon behind
  8323. the mountains, she turned and gave him a smile. “And this works for all, be they
  8324. pauper or princess. Thank you, Anon, for allowing me to see that again.”
  8325.  
  8326. “See what again?”
  8327.  
  8328. “Something I needed to see, a memory from long ago. Your love for my sister will
  8329. have a far-reaching impact, whether you know it or not. Keep loving her, and you
  8330. will bring about great things.”
  8331.  
  8332. He nodded with a hint of a blush, and Luna gave him a larger smile before
  8333. releasing him. Luna then took flight, and Anon walked back over to Celestia with
  8334. a bit of a worried look.
  8335.  
  8336. “It is okay that she…?”
  8337.  
  8338. “That was a friendly hug, nothing more,” Celestia replied with a small grin.
  8339. “You need not fear sharing the bed with the two of us again, unless we should
  8340. come down with the flu in the future. This was simply her way of accepting you
  8341. as family.”
  8342.  
  8343. “Okay,” he replied in relief. “I need a few lessons in that arena too.”
  8344.  
  8345. “I do believe I can help with that.”
  8346.  
  8347. “So may I safely assume at this point that you are feeling better?” he asked, as
  8348. her wing again moved around him and gave him a squeeze.
  8349.  
  8350. “Mm, I feel marvelous.” Celestia purred while she lit her horn and began to
  8351. raise the sun. “Thankfully, I think I caught the twenty-four hour version of the
  8352. flu. I’ll still have Doctor Horsenpfeffer do a quick check to make sure, but I
  8353. think she’ll say I’m just fine.”
  8354.  
  8355. “Good. I’m sure the staff will appreciate your recovery as well.”
  8356.  
  8357. “They’ll appreciate me not getting them sick,” Celestia said with a laugh. “But
  8358. did you get any sleep at all?”
  8359.  
  8360. “Here and there. I wanted to still be nearby if you needed me, but between you
  8361. and Luna snoring, I thought I’d wandered into a sawmill. Out here wasn’t so
  8362. bad.”
  8363.  
  8364. “Not a very comfortable place, though.”
  8365.  
  8366. “Yeah, not so much.” He chuckled while the sun began to warm his skin. “But
  8367. since you are feeling better it was worth it.”
  8368.  
  8369. “I will make sure I take three pills tonight to make sure you get the rest you
  8370. need,” she said with a quick boop. “Do you feel rested enough to accompany me to
  8371. breakfast?”
  8372.  
  8373. “I think I can handle that, yes.”
  8374.  
  8375. “Good. After that we’ll go over Wysteria’s notes and you can tell me all about
  8376. day court.”
  8377.  
  8378.  
  8379. * * ✹ * *
  8380.  
  8381.  
  8382. Anonymous was sure he was going to explode.
  8383.  
  8384. Really. He was going to literally explode.
  8385.  
  8386. All right, maybe not literally, but if she doesn’t say something soon…
  8387.  
  8388. “So, this is the only petition you looked over by yourself?” Celestia asked as
  8389. her magic sorted the papers again.
  8390.  
  8391. “It is,” Anon whined. Celestia glanced at him with what he thought was a
  8392. disapproving look before turning back to the papers.
  8393.  
  8394. “You came up with this all on your own?”
  8395.  
  8396. “Well, no.” he replied. “Wysteria and Discord helped me decide what to do,” he
  8397. stated before righting himself. “But it was my call.”
  8398.  
  8399. “And Discord now wants you to attend his tea dates with Fluttershy?”
  8400.  
  8401. “Yes.” Anon cringed. “Depending on what’s happening here, of course.”
  8402.  
  8403. I will own up to my actions, no matter what.
  8404.  
  8405. “Hm.”
  8406.  
  8407. Anonymous was not going to be able to take this much longer. His heart was
  8408. racing in his chest, and he was fidgeting with his Celestial Crystal as if it
  8409. was the sun itself. “I, uh… I did get permission for you to come too.”
  8410.  
  8411. “You did?” Celestia asked flatly, and Anon nodded. “You invited me as well.
  8412. Huh.”
  8413.  
  8414. “Well as my wife, you are my immediate choice for a plus one at parties.”
  8415.  
  8416. Celestia offered no reply to this, and Anon’s willpower snapped.
  8417.  
  8418. “I screwed up, didn’t I?” he moaned. “I should have waited for you to recover. I
  8419. shouldn’t have made the decision without you or Luna. I overstepped my—”
  8420.  
  8421. Anon’s rant was silenced when Celestia’s magic grabbed his lips. She then leaned
  8422. in close to him and gave him a sugary sweet smile.
  8423.  
  8424. “Stop that. You did nothing wrong.”
  8425.  
  8426. “I didn’t?” he blurted as soon as her magic released him.
  8427.  
  8428. Celestia gave him a long and reassuring kiss before replying. “You did not. In
  8429. fact, I think you did everything right.”
  8430.  
  8431. “Really?!” he asked with a small squee of delight in his voice.
  8432.  
  8433. “Indeed my love. You took all the facts into consideration, consulted with a
  8434. trusted advisor, listened to your instincts, and used some remarkable diplomatic
  8435. skills to turn an unknown factor into an asset. I’m actually really impressed
  8436. that you managed to not only include Discord in your decision process, thus
  8437. giving him a chance to be useful, but that you also managed to enlist his help.
  8438. I’m not sure I would have even thought of that. With him performing some
  8439. occasional surveillance on Miss Glimmer on top of your inspectors I believe the
  8440. situation is under control. You did good.”
  8441.  
  8442. He stammered and twiddled his fingers, but Anonymous was immensely pleased that
  8443. his wife approved of his work.
  8444.  
  8445. “I think this calls for a reward,” Celestia continued with a sultry look.
  8446.  
  8447. Anon’s eyes shrank to pinpricks. “A what?”
  8448.  
  8449. “A reward,” she offered in a soft and seductive tone.
  8450.  
  8451. “Oh! Uh, well…” he stammered.
  8452.  
  8453. “Oh, don’t worry. I’ll be gentle.”
  8454.  
  8455. Anon started to go white, and when he spoke his voice was just above a whisper.
  8456. “Gentle?”
  8457.  
  8458. “Yes.” She nipped his ear, brought her body close to his, and rubbed her neck
  8459. sensually against his. It was electric, and Anon really thought he might pass
  8460. out from joy.
  8461.  
  8462. “How much further do I need to take this?” she cooed. “I didn’t take you for a
  8463. voyeur.”
  8464.  
  8465. “Voyeur? What?” he asked, but then he noticed that the Discord in the stained
  8466. glass had just folded his arms tightly and pouted.
  8467.  
  8468. “Oh, foo!” The draconequus grumbled before pulling himself out of the glass and
  8469. taking solid form before them. “I thought it was an odd tonal shift from you. I
  8470. should’ve known.”
  8471.  
  8472. “Any particular reason you are spying on on us?”
  8473.  
  8474. “Spying?” Discord scoffed. “Really, Celly. I could care less about all that
  8475. mushy stuff. I just stopped by so I could hear you say it.”
  8476.  
  8477. “Say what?”
  8478.  
  8479. “That I did a good job,” he smugly said. “C’mon! Admit it!”
  8480.  
  8481. “Discord, you did a good job.”
  8482.  
  8483. “Now, I know you’re not used to saying that… wait. What?” Discord looked at her
  8484. with a bit of confusion. “You just agreed with me without an argument. No
  8485. conditional hedging. Not even any whining or pouting. You even sound... happy.”
  8486. He folded his arms and leaned across the bushy hedge that stretched across the
  8487. corridor. “You take all the fun out of it.”
  8488.  
  8489. “I don’t need to argue with you,” Celestia said with a smile. “You did do a good
  8490. job, and thank you. Your advice to my dear Anon was thoughtful, accurate, and
  8491. wise; and I do greatly appreciate your willingness to help keep an eye on this
  8492. Starlight Glimmer. You proved to be a good friend to Anon when he needed you the
  8493. most, and for that you have my most sincere thanks and deepest gratitude.”
  8494.  
  8495. “Oh!” Discord replied, and he tapped his chin in thought. “There’s something
  8496. ponies say at this point, what was it? Something that means ‘thanks for the
  8497. thanks.’ I know I know it. Starts with a ‘W,’ I think.”
  8498.  
  8499. “Welcome?” Anon offered.
  8500.  
  8501. “That’s it!” Discord held a blinking sign reading ‘Winner!’ above Anon’s head.
  8502. “You’re welcome! Oo, what a fun word. I bet Fluttershy will love it when she
  8503. hears me use it.”
  8504.  
  8505. “I’m sure she will,” Anon said with a shake of his head.
  8506.  
  8507. “Well, I do have to run, but if you need me again just give me a shout. I’m more
  8508. than happy to give you some pointers. I did rule Equestria for a time after
  8509. all.” Discord chuckled, snapped his claw, and disappeared. Once Celestia took
  8510. another look around the empty corridor, she gave Anon a long nuzzle.
  8511.  
  8512. “That got a little heated,” Anon remarked.
  8513.  
  8514. “That it did.” Celestia gained a bit of a blush across her cheeks. “I’m sorry
  8515. for leading you on, but ruse or not, you did seem… receptive.”
  8516.  
  8517. “Well… y-yeah.”
  8518.  
  8519. Celestia paused and looked at Anon earnestly. “What was that?”
  8520.  
  8521. “I don’t know,” he muttered, and his gaze went to the floor. “I just… I do,
  8522. but…”
  8523.  
  8524. “Don’t worry about it, my Anon.” She whispered with a nuzzle to his ear. “When
  8525. you’re ready. I am a firm believer in letting love progress naturally. For now,
  8526. I am most content to simply have you. You have brought a joy into my life that I
  8527. did not know I was missing.”
  8528.  
  8529. “And you have done the same for me,” he said softly. “I don’t think I would have
  8530. ever found true joy if I hadn’t met you either.”
  8531.  
  8532. “Then be reassured, my Anon, that I feel our relationship is right where is
  8533. should be. The love you give me fills me with light and hope, and I do not want
  8534. for anything. You have brought me pleasure incomparable, and I have no doubt
  8535. that you will continue to do so.”
  8536.  
  8537. “Thank you,” he whispered. “I don’t know that I’ll ever fully understand how I
  8538. won your love, but if I have it then I am complete.”
  8539.  
  8540. “And for us, that is all that matters,” she said with a nuzzle and a nip on his
  8541. neck. “And though I do wish we could remain here and whisper sweet nothings to
  8542. each other I’m afraid we have that meeting with the Ministry of Peace in five
  8543. minutes. But, perhaps we can discuss this more later…”
  8544.  
  8545. She nipped his ear, and he replied in turn with a nip on her jawline. They both
  8546. then laughed and playfully began bumping their bodies against each other as they
  8547. began the journey to their next meeting.
  8548.  
  8549.  
  8550. * * ✹ * *
  8551.  
  8552.  
  8553. Anon sighed in contentment as he walked through the gardens. The meeting with
  8554. the Ministry of Peace had ended quite a bit sooner than anticipated thanks to an
  8555. intern forgetting to bring the documentation Celestia and Anon needed to look
  8556. over. Since they had time, they decided that it would be nice to take a stroll
  8557. through the gardens. Wysteria had then stopped them just as they had left the
  8558. interior of the palace with a few rescheduled items to go over with Celestia,
  8559. and she had told Anon to go ahead and they would catch up.
  8560.  
  8561. He still had to admit that the gardens were spectacular, and a part of him
  8562. wished he had grabbed his notebook so he could take another shot at describing
  8563. the grounds, and maybe even those fateful sunflowers.
  8564.  
  8565. “Well, maybe I’ll try again tonight,” he told himself softly and with a chuckle.
  8566. “Maybe I’ll be able to do it without having to stand in them.”
  8567.  
  8568. He then stopped abruptly. Just around a bend, and on a bench that sat across
  8569. from the sunflowers that had changed his life, sat a pegasus with a yellow coat,
  8570. a powder blue mane, and what looked like a trio of sego lilies on her flank.
  8571.  
  8572. “Sego Lily?” he asked himself. “I wonder why she’s here.”
  8573.  
  8574. He quickly moved towards her, eager to share the wild ride he’d been on since
  8575. their last meeting and to see what had brought her back to Canterlot. Given how
  8576. their last meeting had gone, he figured she would get quite the laugh out of the
  8577. story.
  8578.  
  8579. Her eyes were closed and remained so as he approached, so he was able to
  8580. unintentionally sneak up on her.
  8581.  
  8582. “Sego?” he called out when only a few feet remained between them. “Is that you?”
  8583.  
  8584. Her eyes shot wide open and her pupils immediately shrunk to pinpricks. “Anon?”
  8585. she groaned. “Figures.”
  8586.  
  8587. “Hey, how are ya?” Anon asked with a smile. “Didn’t think I’d see you again so
  8588. soon.”
  8589.  
  8590. “And I really hoped I’d never see you again,” she bitterly shot back.
  8591.  
  8592. “I’m… sorry?”  Anon reeled back slightly at the sudden verbal slap to the face.
  8593.  
  8594. “You were engaged to Celestia and yet you led me on like that?”
  8595.  
  8596. “Celestia? What—?”
  8597.  
  8598. “Is that some sort of game for you, toying with mare’s hearts and then casting
  8599. them aside once you’ve had your fun?”
  8600.  
  8601. “Now, wait a minute.” His voice was soft and defensive.  “It was never my
  8602. intention to lead you along, or anything like that.”
  8603.  
  8604. There was a most hearty scoff for this statement, but Anon pressed on. “When I
  8605. crashed into you, things were different. Celestia and I were strangers tied to a
  8606. curse that we were both trying to get out of. When we learned there was nothing
  8607. to cancel out the spell we had no choice but to go forward with the whole
  8608. thing.”
  8609.  
  8610. “And you couldn’t be bothered to tell me?”
  8611.  
  8612. “Tell you?”
  8613.  
  8614. “Yes, Your Denseness. I stayed at the Shoe and Nail for another two days,
  8615. remember? I waited for you.”
  8616.  
  8617. “You did?”
  8618.  
  8619. “Wow, and she still married you,” Sego muttered. “Yes. I clearly said I was
  8620. staying. I even watched you come back and collect your things on your wedding
  8621. day. I… I was hoping that… well, that you would come back, and that…”
  8622.  
  8623. She paused, but then her glare came back in full and with a razor-sharp edge.
  8624. “Then I saw the news about your marriage. It wasn’t hard to put the pieces
  8625. together, and you couldn’t even afford me the common courtesy of a proper
  8626. break-up.”
  8627.  
  8628. “Break up? We had lunch together and walked around town. That’s hardly a
  8629. relationship.”
  8630.  
  8631. “Oh, please. It wouldn’t have been that hard.”
  8632.  
  8633. “Sego, really. I can understand why you’re mad, and you’re right, I should have
  8634. explained things to you.”
  8635.  
  8636. “If you’re trying to apologize then you can just stop right there. I’m not
  8637. interested in your apology.”
  8638.  
  8639. “I’m just trying to explain what happened,” he said with a note of exasperation.
  8640. “I’ll offer my apologies all the same, though. You can take it or leave it.”
  8641.  
  8642. “I’ll leave it,” she snorted. “You’re an insensitive clod.”
  8643.  
  8644. “Fair enough. I probably was in this instance.”
  8645.  
  8646. “Now, if you’ll excuse me.”
  8647.  
  8648. “Why are you here?” Anon asked as she stood, and the question made her stop.
  8649.  
  8650. “Why else would I be in Canterlot?” she threw back at him.
  8651.  
  8652. It took Anon a moment to recall what she had said before. “Your Grandma?”
  8653.  
  8654. “She passed away four days ago.”
  8655.  
  8656. “Oh,” Anon said softly. “I’m so sorry.”
  8657.  
  8658. “I doubt that. But thanks for the sentiment, I suppose. Anything else?”
  8659.  
  8660. “Just that I don’t want us to end our friendship like this, with you storming
  8661. off in anger. I’d like to talk about what happened, and to help you through
  8662. whatever it is you’re feeling.”
  8663.  
  8664. “Was there a part of you that had any interest in me, even in the slightest?”
  8665. she asked in a small voice.
  8666.  
  8667. “Yes, there was,” he answered truthfully. “That night, when I returned to the
  8668. palace, I actually wept over what I couldn’t have. I felt horrible that I
  8669. couldn’t have you.”
  8670.  
  8671. Sego turned to face him fully again. “You’re not just telling me that, are you?”
  8672.  
  8673. “Honest to Luna, that’s the pure truth,” he replied. “I really thought we could
  8674. have had something, before I found out I was bound to Celestia because of
  8675. everything. Had that law not been in effect, I would have pursued you.
  8676.  
  8677. “But, if I hadn’t booped Celestia’s nose there was a good chance I wouldn’t have
  8678. ever met you, either. The only reason I was where you were that day was because
  8679. Celestia told me to check out the museum. It wouldn’t have happened otherwise.”
  8680.  
  8681. Anon allowed Sego to think this over for a moment, and then he continued. “If
  8682. you want to be mad at me, that’s fine. But don’t be mad because the relationship
  8683. didn’t work out. Even if we had been given the opportunity to try and be
  8684. something more serious, who says it could have been? There’s a chance we could
  8685. have hated one another. With things the way they are now, we can still be
  8686. friends, or at least I would like to still be your friend.”
  8687.  
  8688. Sego sniffled and wiped her nose on her arm. “You should have told me what was
  8689. going on.”
  8690.  
  8691. “I should have, yes. I won’t deny that.”
  8692.  
  8693. “You shouldn’t have led me on.”
  8694.  
  8695. “I’m still not quite sure how I did. I was being a friend, nothing more and
  8696. nothing less.”
  8697.  
  8698. Sego paused, and her wings ruffled a bit. “I’m still mad at you.”
  8699.  
  8700. “You can be mad for as long as you like. But at least understand that whatever
  8701. harm I inflicted wasn’t intentional.”
  8702.  
  8703. Sego’s gaze turned to her hooves. “I suppose I might have put more into what was
  8704. between us than I should have. You were just the first person who ever treated
  8705. me kindly. Most just think of me as some kind of… well…”
  8706.  
  8707. “Then they are dead wrong,” Anon offered. “You are more than whatever they
  8708. thought, and eventually you will find the one meant for you. One of the greatest
  8709. things I’ve learned from this whole mess is that the future might not be what
  8710. you thought it would be, but there’s a good chance it can be something even
  8711. better, if you let it. If Destiny has it out for me, then I’m sure there’s
  8712. something for you too.”
  8713.  
  8714. “I don’t know if I can believe that.”
  8715.  
  8716. “I think you’ll be surprised,” he offered. “I know I was.”
  8717.  
  8718. Sego didn’t say anything back. Anon let a mental sigh go across his mind, and
  8719. then he decided to have this end, one way or the other.
  8720.  
  8721. “I can introduce you to Celestia, if you’d like. I know she’d like to meet you.”
  8722.  
  8723. Anon smiled in happiness when Sego looked back up at him with a small grin. “You
  8724. could? I’ve always wanted to meet her.”
  8725.  
  8726. “I can. I do have an in with her now, after all.”
  8727.  
  8728. “That was lame,” Sego replied with a small laugh. “Will it be awkward for you?”
  8729.  
  8730. “No. Celestia knows all the details of what happened that day. We’ve made our
  8731. peace with it. Maybe now you can be at peace with what happened too.”
  8732.  
  8733. “I hope so. And I hope what you said is true. I just want to be happy, y’know?”
  8734.  
  8735. “We all do. The only problem is sometimes happiness isn’t where we think it’ll
  8736. be, and we have to look for it a little bit.”
  8737.  
  8738. “And sometimes it comes up and smacks you in the face like a wet jellyfish.”
  8739.  
  8740. “Sometimes, yes,” he chuckled.
  8741.  
  8742. “Thanks,” she offered.
  8743.  
  8744. “That’s what friends are for.” He smiled, and they shared a hoof-to-fist bump.
  8745.  
  8746. “Anon?” Celestia’s voice called out. “Who’s this?”
  8747.  
  8748. Anon smiled deeper as Sego Lily bowed before her princess. “My dear, this is
  8749. Sego Lily. She’s been dying to meet you.”
  8750.  
  8751. Celestia offered a warm smile as Sego straightened. “You have? Well, I hate to
  8752. keep you waiting! It is a pleasure to meet you too.”
  8753.  
  8754.  
  8755. * * ✹ * *
  8756.  
  8757.  
  8758. “I can see why you liked her,” Celestia remarked to Anon as she gently lowered
  8759. the sun. “Sego is quite a nice mare. You would have done well if you had gone
  8760. with her.”
  8761.  
  8762. “I suppose so.” He shrugged inside her wing.
  8763.  
  8764. “Do you still think about her?” she asked gently. “Do you still think about what
  8765. could have been?”
  8766.  
  8767. “No,” he instantly replied. Celestia gave him a curious look.
  8768.  
  8769. “No?”
  8770.  
  8771. “I hadn’t thought about her until I saw her in the gardens. I think it’s
  8772. something like when I asked you if you thought about being a commoner. There’s
  8773. no real point in doing so, since it’s not going to happen. I’d much rather spend
  8774. the time thinking about you.”
  8775.  
  8776. “You are a shameless flatterer,” Celestia chuckled. “But I love it. You have my
  8777. royal sanction to continue to do so.”
  8778.  
  8779. “Oh, really?” he asked, and he leaned forward to draw closer to her ear. “Well,
  8780. then…”
  8781.  
  8782. Celestia giggled as he nipped her ear, then began to whisper into it. But after
  8783. a moment, her cheeks started to go red, and after another playful nip Anon
  8784. whispered something into her ear that made her eyes open wide and her wings pop
  8785. straight up and out with a pomph. She gave her amazed and slightly embarrassed
  8786. look Anon’s full view, and he simply chuckled a little when he saw her reaction
  8787. in its totality.
  8788.  
  8789. “I realized it when we were talking with Sego this afternoon. I know I’ve said I
  8790. love you, and now I want to show you in a way that I haven’t yet.”
  8791.  
  8792. “Are you sure?” she asked. “I don’t want you to feel rushed at all. You don’t
  8793. have to do this just to make me happy. I already am.”
  8794.  
  8795. “And I am happy with you as well, in a way that I could never be on my own. I
  8796. would like to show you now, and I am as ready as you are.”
  8797.  
  8798. “Then we run the risk of the sun rising sooner than it should,” Celestia
  8799. whispered to him.
  8800.  
  8801. “Let it,” he whispered back, and he began scratching in her mane. “Let it be as
  8802. bright as noon, so everypony knows how deeply I love and care for you. Let it
  8803. burn, let it soar. I never want anyone to ever doubt my true feelings for you,
  8804. and I will never let you forget how much I care for you. I will be yours,
  8805. forever and always, if you will be mine.”
  8806.  
  8807. “My dear, sweet Anonymous,” she whispered back as she nuzzled his neck tenderly.
  8808. “You will never doubt my love for you either. I will give you the one thing that
  8809. I have never fully given to any other: my heart. It is yours, completely, to
  8810. have and to keep.”
  8811.  
  8812. “Then I will treasure it beyond the stars and back again.” > 31. - Afterglow >
  8813. --------------------------------------------------------------------------
  8814.  
  8815. Princess Celestia, Ruler of Equestria, Matron of The Sun and Mare of The Morning
  8816. awoke feeling like she never had before. The morning air was cool and
  8817. refreshing, birds were tweeting joyfully as they danced among the bushes and
  8818. trees outside, and there was an energy in the air that simply had never been
  8819. there before.
  8820.  
  8821. There was also the slight hint of sweat that wafted up from the cushions when
  8822. she stretched out her front legs, and a blush tickled its way across her cheeks
  8823. when she recalled what had transpired the night before. Twice.
  8824.  
  8825. For a short time after the founding of Equestria, Celestia had listened in on an
  8826. innumerable number of ‘mare talk’ sessions between both nobles and chambermares,
  8827. and the accompanying stories of late-night rendezvous and succulent sweet
  8828. nothings had been so steamy that she eventually had to start excusing herself
  8829. from them. If the truth was to be told, Celestia did feel a twinge of jealousy
  8830. and anger towards these fortunate females. While they were living life to its
  8831. fullest, she was forced to play ‘Keep Away from Iron Hoof,’ and she had feared
  8832. what might happen to her hopes and dreams if she were to be ever caught in an
  8833. illicit affair.
  8834.  
  8835. As the years rolled by, she had forged a barrier around her heart. It was a
  8836. grand fortress that allowed admittance to none save Luna and her family, and she
  8837. learned how to find a measure of joy in the success of the mares who possessed
  8838. what she did not. By the time of Luna’s banishment, her feelings were so tightly
  8839. controlled by her duties and devotion to her ponies that she had stopped
  8840. thinking about intimate love all together, and thus it had remained for a
  8841. millennia.
  8842.  
  8843. But in one glorious evening, Anonymous had completely and utterly obliterated a
  8844. thousand years of work.
  8845.  
  8846. She smiled slightly to herself and gave a short hum of satisfaction. Her Anon
  8847. had given her a fruit most succulent, and now she no longer had to suppress or
  8848. ignore the cravings she felt. With him, she would experience a joy beyond
  8849. compare, and if the residual tingling in her hooves were any indication, this
  8850. joy would take both of them out past Luna’s stars.
  8851.  
  8852. She gave a loving glance down to her lover, her prince, and best of all, her
  8853. husband. His body was still pressed closely against her, and an adorable smile
  8854. of contentment resided on his face.
  8855.  
  8856. “You didn’t take your medicine last night.”
  8857.  
  8858. She jumped a bit at his husky voice, but she laughed outright as his smile
  8859. brightened and he peaked one eye at her.
  8860.  
  8861. “I will admit I was a bit eager to get to bed.” She smirked, but then a hoof
  8862. went before her nose in alarm when she realized what his statement meant.  “Oh
  8863. no! Don’t tell me…”
  8864.  
  8865. “If you did I slept right through it.” He chuckled, then angled his head down to
  8866. kiss her, despite having morning breath that could kill a chimera, and she
  8867. gladly indulged in his invitation.
  8868.  
  8869. “Think we’ll ever be able to match what happened?” Anon asked when they finally
  8870. pulled apart.
  8871.  
  8872. “I certainly hope so. Last night was…”
  8873.  
  8874. She paused, and a pleased smile grew for both of them.
  8875.  
  8876. “Woof.”
  8877.  
  8878. Anon simply nodded in agreement with a chuckle.
  8879.  
  8880. “Sadly, we have other things to do today.” Celestia whispered as she nipped his
  8881. hair. “I would love to stay like this but I’m afraid we can’t.”
  8882.  
  8883. “Pesky things and their doing-ness.” Anon muttered in contentment, and a low
  8884. groan of pleasure bubbled out of his throat while Celestia continued to nip and
  8885. tug.
  8886.  
  8887. Celestia had a thought come to her as she nibbled through Anon’s hair, something
  8888. additionally she could do to show in a small way how deeply she cared for him.
  8889. She mulled it over while she moved through his hair, but by the time she had
  8890. finished she was sure. “Anon, do you want to help me raise the sun today?”
  8891.  
  8892. “Don’t I do that every morning?”
  8893.  
  8894. “Mm, no, not like before,” she hummed. “You have given me something I will
  8895. treasure forever, so I wish to show you something too. Here, come with me.”
  8896.  
  8897. Anon stretched quickly before rising, and he trailed Celestia out onto the
  8898. balcony. Instead of turning to the east like she always did, Celestia instead
  8899. faced him with a warm smile.
  8900.  
  8901. “Think you can go on a short trip with me?” Celestia asked.
  8902.  
  8903. Anon glanced around. “Where are we going?”
  8904.  
  8905. Celestia smiled, and her magic wrapped around him gently. “Up.”
  8906.  
  8907. Anon whooped a bit as Celestia took flight and brought him along with her. She
  8908. made no special moves or course corrections, she simply shot straight up until
  8909. they had reached an altocumulus cloud that seemed to be many miles above
  8910. Canterlot. Anon gasped a bit in awe as he took in the panoramic scene before
  8911. him, and he didn’t even notice that he was standing on the cloud unaided.
  8912.  
  8913. “This is incredible,” he softly said. “How high up are we?”
  8914.  
  8915. “Oh, only about six thousand feet or so,” Celestia chuckled. “This is just about
  8916. the upper limit for the Weather Department. There are a few crazy ponies who go
  8917. even higher, but only after a lot of training and conditioning.”
  8918.  
  8919. “Wow,” he softly exclaimed. “I wish I had my notebook.”
  8920.  
  8921. “You do?”
  8922.  
  8923. “Yeah. I’ve never… I mean…”
  8924.  
  8925. “Describe it for me, please?”
  8926.  
  8927. “Are you sure? It’ll be rough since I can’t edit and proofread, but…”
  8928.  
  8929. Oh, that blissful face! It would take an army of changelings to keep him from
  8930. fulfilling the wishes of that most beautiful face.
  8931.  
  8932. “The countryside is now awash in the glow of the twilight of morn, and nature is
  8933. still,” he began. “The view from here is near infinite, and all is accented most
  8934. admirably the soft magentas, pinks and blues that now bathe the scene with a
  8935. subtle and yet elegant touch of nobility.
  8936.  
  8937. “The rolling greens add to the picture, cascading across and along in such a way
  8938. that all before it must bow in respect to the calm and respectful strength that
  8939. it naturally holds,” Anon continued. Celestia gave one of the largest smiles she
  8940. had ever given in her life when she noticed that his view was not on Equestria,
  8941. but on her. “All of this blends into a perfect union of harmony, and for the man
  8942. who finds himself in the presence of such vibrancy the words to fully describe
  8943. the singularity of beauty simply do not exist. Here, in the pastel paints of the
  8944. morning, there is the totality of meaning, of desire, of passion and of
  8945. devotion. Here, in this moment, is where I find I have truly found Home.”
  8946.  
  8947. “Not bad at all, my dear Anon.” She giggled, and she gave him a nip on the neck
  8948. in gratitude.
  8949.  
  8950. “Thanks. So, how exactly am I supposed to help you? I thought you said only a
  8951. princess could raise the sun.”
  8952.  
  8953. “Yes, but I never said no one could help me.”
  8954.  
  8955. “So, but…” he stalled. “But I can’t help you. I don’t have magic.”
  8956.  
  8957. “Yes you do,” she whispered.
  8958.  
  8959. “Ambient magic?” he asked, and she nodded. “But? But how can that help?”
  8960.  
  8961. "Ambient magic is not just tied to the land. It can also manipulate other
  8962. things, if it tries.”
  8963.  
  8964. “I think I was sick the day they explained that in school.”
  8965.  
  8966. "Here. Turn to the east.”
  8967.  
  8968. “All right,” he replied as he did so.
  8969.  
  8970. “East would be to your left, love.”
  8971.  
  8972. “Oh. Right.” He chuckled with a bit of embarrassment.
  8973.  
  8974. “Now, reach out towards the sun.”
  8975.  
  8976. “With my arms?”
  8977.  
  8978. “With your heart,” she replied. “In the same way your love reaches out to me.”
  8979.  
  8980. Anon smiled and attempted to do as his beloved had instructed. He focused on the
  8981. feel of the sun, the warmth and the light and how it moved across the sky in its
  8982. prescribed manner, and he let his heart yearn for that which Celestia commanded.
  8983.  
  8984. It took a moment of concentrated effort, but when he did feel his own ingrained
  8985. magic connect with the power of the sun he staggered a step or two back in
  8986. amazement. He could feel it! He could feel the power that would bow to no other
  8987. celestial object, the strength that supported life for all who dwelled under it,
  8988. and the heat that could incinerate all who approached unaware unless it was
  8989. tempered, controlled. This was the heat he had known all his life, the heat that
  8990. both baked bread and warmed hearts.
  8991.  
  8992. The heat of passion that he now felt towards Celestia.
  8993.  
  8994. “I feel it,” he whispered to Celestia. “It’s incredible.”
  8995.  
  8996. Her horn lit as she stood side-by-side with him, and he felt her magic begin to
  8997. weave in with his. The weft and the warp of the two magics into one was as
  8998. intense and yet resplendent as anything his mortal mind could ever possibly
  8999. comprehend. He realized that if he would remain so intertwined with his wife—if
  9000. he never allowed anything to tear what had just been woven between them—then he
  9001. could not and would not ever want for anything.
  9002.  
  9003. She would give him everything he could ever need, want, and more.
  9004.  
  9005. “Bring it up, my love,” Celestia stated with a broad smile.
  9006.  
  9007. And when he attempted to do so, Anonymous felt something. With the sun rising
  9008. under the combined power of his wife and himself, he felt a magic surge that
  9009. penetrated his whole being. It moved through him, enveloped him, and caressed
  9010. him in a way that only Celestia’s magic could. From his head to his toes, and
  9011. from his arms to his legs he felt it.
  9012.  
  9013. And there was only one other thing that could compare to the bliss he then felt.
  9014.  
  9015. When he finally felt that the sun was in the proper position for the day, he
  9016. gently lowered his arms, and then felt a small jolt of surprise when his legs
  9017. again touched the cloud beneath him. He had been flying, in a literal way? How
  9018. could that have been?
  9019.  
  9020. “Anon!” Celestia called out with a gasp of surprise. “You! You’ve!”
  9021.  
  9022. “What?” he asked.
  9023.  
  9024. “You have a cutie mark!”
  9025.  
  9026. Anon twisted around and looked at his flank. “It did?”
  9027.  
  9028. Indeed, it had. A perfect replica of Celestia’s cutie mark now resided behind a
  9029. book on his arm, and the pages bore words, words that Anon was unable to read.
  9030.  
  9031. “Oh, Anon!” Celestia said with a happy sob.
  9032.  
  9033. “Wow,” was the best word Anon could come up with to describe the situation.
  9034. “This is… just… wow.”
  9035.  
  9036.  
  9037. * * ✹ * *
  9038.  
  9039.  
  9040. “Uh, Twilight? I normally don’t question the scientific method, but are you
  9041. really sure this is going to work?” Anon asked with a nervous chuckle.
  9042.  
  9043. “First off, the scientific method is a body of techniques for investigating the
  9044. phenomena of our world. What I am doing simply one step in that process,” she
  9045. replied while making sure the straps on Anon’s colander helmet were secure.
  9046. “Secondly, I know this will work. The Whooves-Gait test is the most accurate and
  9047. well-known cutie mark analytic test in existence.”
  9048.  
  9049. Anon gave Celestia a worried look, and she returned a reassuring smile before
  9050. replying.
  9051.  
  9052. “She’s right. Besides, do you really think I’d let my faithful student do
  9053. something that had the slightest possibility of harming you?”
  9054.  
  9055. “I suppose not.”
  9056.  
  9057. “Now, since I’m doing a test on your cutie mark you’re going to feel a slight
  9058. tingle just under your skin.” Twilight handed Celestia a pair of welder’s
  9059. goggles and placed a pair on herself. “This is normal, but please say something
  9060. if you feel a burning sensation, all right?”
  9061.  
  9062. “What’s with the goggles?”
  9063.  
  9064. “Safety first!” she shouted. Celestia quickly pulled her goggles down over her
  9065. eyes as Twilight reached for a large electrical lever, and Anon winced slightly
  9066. when the switch was thrown with a slight maniacal laugh.
  9067.  
  9068. The test was… well, it was bizarre. Anon squirmed a bit and tried to keep from
  9069. laughing, but it wasn’t easy. It felt like someone had taken one of Celestia’s
  9070. feathers and was somehow using that to make every square inch of him ticklish.
  9071. Thankfully, it only lasted for about twenty seconds or so before Twilight
  9072. switched the machine off again and moved eagerly to the printout that was now
  9073. spewing from an opening on the side of the machine.
  9074.  
  9075. “See?” Celestia offered. “Not that bad.”
  9076.  
  9077. “It tickled,” he replied while trying to scratch everywhere. “That is normal,
  9078. right?”
  9079.  
  9080. “It is. I would actually be more worried if it didn’t.”
  9081.  
  9082. “All right,” Twilight announced. She held the readout out for Anon to look at
  9083. while she continued. “Your cutie mark is a cutie mark for sure. You are not
  9084. suffering from cutie mark pox.”
  9085.  
  9086. “That’s good to know,” Anon replied. “And?”
  9087.  
  9088. “Well, that’s about it. There’s no anomalous readings.”
  9089.  
  9090. “Again, good to know. But how did this happen?”
  9091.  
  9092. “I think I have an idea,” Celestia said.
  9093.  
  9094. “Yeah?”
  9095.  
  9096. “Cutie marks indicate a special skill or talent that a pony has, but that
  9097. doesn’t mean that they are locked into a certain position in life. Take Rarity
  9098. for example: with a cutie mark of three gems one could infer that she is a
  9099. miner, a jeweler, or a geologist. If you do not know her, it would be hard to
  9100. believe that she is a seamstress and a fashion designer.”
  9101.  
  9102. “Okay, I’m following you so far.”
  9103.  
  9104. “So, you had no cutie mark, and you admitted that you were unsure of your place
  9105. in the world. I think that you had chosen the first step along the path to your
  9106. destiny, but there was more potential for you to fill.”
  9107.  
  9108. “And... now I don’t follow.”
  9109.  
  9110. “It’s a bit difficult to explain,” she said. “Let me try this way. When a pony
  9111. gets their cutie mark, they usually understand why. A pony knows what skill or
  9112. talent it was that is connected to it. But you had no cutie mark. You’ve said
  9113. you were confused, and that you never felt like you belonged in the world of
  9114. cooking, so there were still questions. Since you never found that clarity, your
  9115. destiny remained in flux.”
  9116.  
  9117. “So, I could choose my destiny?” he asked while Twilight was removing the
  9118. helmet.
  9119.  
  9120. “All ponies can choose their own destiny regardless of their cutie marks,”
  9121. replied Celestia with a quiet giggle. “But we’ll save that for another time. For
  9122. now, your choices affected your destiny, and now your cutie mark reflects it.”
  9123.  
  9124. “So…” Anon thought out loud while taking a moment to make another awkward
  9125. examination of his arm. “So, my destiny now is to be your husband?”
  9126.  
  9127. “It would seem so.”
  9128.  
  9129. “Not a bad destiny to have. What does the writing on the pages say?”
  9130.  
  9131. “It’s a variation of the Alicorn law marriage clause, written in the old equish
  9132. I used when I wrote it.” Celestia replied. “It says: ‘my nose now knows to whom
  9133. it belongs, and I shall remain with her until the end.’”
  9134.  
  9135. “That is severely cool. My nose is smarter than I thought,” Anon remarked while
  9136. twisting to look at his other arm. “So let me make sure I’ve heard you right. My
  9137. cutie mark reflects my new destiny with you.”
  9138.  
  9139. “Yes.”
  9140.  
  9141. “With whatever being a husband to Princess Celestia entails?”
  9142.  
  9143. “Imagine what I have to teach you, and what we can learn together,” she replied
  9144. with a nuzzle and nip of his neck.
  9145.  
  9146. “That’s a pretty good destiny. I think I’d like to to keep that.”
  9147.  
  9148. “I believe that means you have to keep me,” Celestia said with a small purr.
  9149.  
  9150. “Oh, how horrible,” Anon replied in faux agony while gently petting Celestia’s
  9151. neck. “I have to keep the most wonderful mare in existence? However will I
  9152. manage it?”
  9153.  
  9154. “A good question. How will you keep me?”
  9155.  
  9156. “Tenderly,” he replied softly. “Gently, and with respect. I will keep you by
  9157. showing you my love, in all the ways I can think of and hopefully in some ways
  9158. that I can’t think of at the moment. I will tell you how much I love you, daily,
  9159. and I will do whatever I can to make sure you are happy. I will be the husband
  9160. you deserve, that you need, and if I ever am not, I will work with you so that I
  9161. am.”
  9162.  
  9163. “A lofty goal,” she replied with a nip in his mane. “But may I add one thing?”
  9164.  
  9165. “Of course.”
  9166.  
  9167. “Be my equal,” she whispered in feathery light tones. “Don’t be my slave, or my
  9168. servant. Work with me, together. Don’t let me pull too much of the load, but
  9169. don’t pull more than you should either. We are partners now, and a dual-yoke
  9170. cart only moves forward if both pull evenly.”
  9171.  
  9172. “Partners.” Anon moved to look her square in the eye. “I like that. Partners in
  9173. love, partners in deed, partners in life, and partners in government. I’d even
  9174. go so far as to be partners in crime with you.”
  9175.  
  9176. “Good thing I’m not that type,” she replied.
  9177.  
  9178. “Oh, there might be a naughty bit in there somewhere,” Anon said with a
  9179. mischievous bite of her neck. “If there is, I’ll find it.”
  9180.  
  9181. “I have no doubt you will,” she laughed.
  9182.  
  9183. “Shall we return now? I do believe we still had some meetings planned for this
  9184. afternoon.”
  9185.  
  9186. “In due time, my Anon.” Celestia replied with a kiss. “All in good time. But
  9187. first, I think we should discuss those grandfoals your mother wanted…”
  9188.  
  9189. “NOT IN HERE!” Twilight protested. “Goodness, there’s a baby dragon here!”
  9190.  
  9191.  
  9192. * * ✹ * * FIN  * * ✹ * *
  9193.  
  9194. > Bonus - Nightmare Night Special! >
  9195. --------------------------------------------------------------------------
  9196.  
  9197. “Nightmare Night?” Celestia asked with concern.
  9198.  
  9199. “Yeah!” Anon exclaimed with a prancing tapdance down the hallway while snagging
  9200. the helmet from the nearest guard. He then placed it on his own head, but the
  9201. intended effect would have worked better if he had put it on the right way. “Why
  9202. not?” he asked through the ear hole.
  9203.  
  9204. “I don’t know, love,” Celestia replied, and her ears folded back slightly. “It’s
  9205. not exactly an anniversary I like to recall.”
  9206.  
  9207. “Well, then we change the meaning,” Anon said. “Just like how the Summer Sun
  9208. Celebration is different now.”
  9209.  
  9210. Celestia’s face was still set in concern. “That’s different. Changing a holiday
  9211. to commemorate the return of your sister is one thing. How do we change the
  9212. meaning of the day my sister became corrupted, and at my hooves?”
  9213.  
  9214. “Well, It’s not about your sister, I would argue,” he said softly while removing
  9215. the helm and returning it to its proper owner. “It’s about the legend of
  9216. Nightmare Moon. I never have heard anyone refer to Luna at all when they
  9217. celebrate it, and we could argue Luna is dressing up like Nightmare Moon for
  9218. Nightmare Night. Besides, you have to admit it would be fun to go play some
  9219. games with the Elements and to just relax for an evening.”
  9220.  
  9221. “It does sound fun,” she admitted, and she gave his nose a kiss. “All right.
  9222. I’ll try it, but only because you’re cute.”
  9223.  
  9224. He gave her a broad grin and returned her kiss. “Thanks. If it turns out you
  9225. hate it, I’ll never bring it up again.”
  9226.  
  9227. Celestia then tapped a hoof against her chin in thought. “You know, I think I
  9228. might even have a costume idea…”
  9229.  
  9230.  
  9231. * * ✹ * *
  9232.  
  9233.  
  9234. “Anon, love? Are you almost ready?” Celestia called out from the bathroom.
  9235.  
  9236. “How do they get this stuff on so quickly again?” Anon shouted back. Celestia
  9237. finished applying the last of her fake eyelashes with a smile as he continued.
  9238. “I’m not even sure if I’ve got it on frontwards or backwards.”
  9239.  
  9240. She chuckled at his frustration and she blinked rapidly to ensure the eyelashes
  9241. were on securely. Once she was satisfied with her appearance, she strode out
  9242. into the main room where she found Anon struggling with a buckle on his modified
  9243. set of royal guard armor.
  9244.  
  9245. “Here, let me help,” she offered, and her magic quickly straightened out the
  9246. strap and buckled it for him.
  9247.  
  9248. “Thanks,” he offered, but then he snickered a bit as he saw her completed
  9249. costume. “I still can’t believe you’re willingly dressing up as a giraffe.”
  9250.  
  9251. “The giraffe is a noble species with exceptional taste in leaves,” she said with
  9252. a sniff of haughtiness and a sly grin. “Besides, it plays well to my physical
  9253. attributes, and from what I’ve heard everypony is going as a clown this year so
  9254. I’ll be different.”
  9255.  
  9256. “Well, you’ve got me there,” he said as he grabbed his helmet. “Are you going to
  9257. hide your horn and wings?”
  9258.  
  9259. She nodded, and with a small pulse of magic they disappeared from view. Anon
  9260. took a moment to look over his wife, and he had to admit she’d done a good job.
  9261. The spots running up her back and neck contrasted nicely against her now yellow
  9262. body, the ossicones sat nicely in her mane and in between her ears, and she’d
  9263. even wrapped part of her tail up in faux fur to complete the look.
  9264.  
  9265. “You look good,” he offered. “I’d almost bet some ponies don’t even recognize
  9266. you.”
  9267.  
  9268. “Thank you,” she said with a toss of her mane and a giggle. “Are you ready? It’s
  9269. just about time to go.”
  9270.  
  9271. “Just need my hat.” He placed it on his head with a grin. He then felt a small
  9272. tingle go through his skin, and when he looked back over himself he found he now
  9273. looked exactly like the other guards. “Ah, I see you got me a fully functional
  9274. set of armor. It's pretty impressive that it can turn even me into a guard
  9275. stallion. How do I look?”
  9276.  
  9277. “Like a Guard.” She chuckled. “I’ll have to make sure I don’t lose you in the
  9278. crowd.”
  9279.  
  9280. “I don’t suppose there will be too many guards there. Even if so, I’ll stay
  9281. close.”
  9282.  
  9283. “Good. I think having my knight by my side will be most helpful.”
  9284.  
  9285. Anon gave her a curious glance. “Helpful?”
  9286.  
  9287. “I have never liked Nightmare Night, love. Who wants to celebrate the loss of a
  9288. beloved family member? All it has done in the past is remind me of the loss of
  9289. Luna. I’m only partaking now because you asked me nicely and because I would
  9290. like to move to a different viewpoint on the whole thing. I don’t like feeling
  9291. how I feel about this night. I want to enjoy it with my little ponies, and the
  9292. only way I see to do that is to participate in it with you.”
  9293.  
  9294. “Hey, I’m sorry,” Anon said with an illusionary hoof on her shoulder. “I might
  9295. have been a bit too forceful in participating in the festivities tonight. I
  9296. didn’t fully appreciate your feelings on this. Really, we can just stay here.”
  9297.  
  9298. “Thank you, but you didn’t force it.” She smiled and kissed him. “I want to do
  9299. this.”
  9300.  
  9301. “I tell you what: if it turns out that, for whatever reason, you want to leave
  9302. we will. If you still hate Nightmare Night after this, I’ll never bring it up
  9303. again.”
  9304.  
  9305. “Fair enough,” she replied, and she gave him a quick kiss. “Thank you.”
  9306.  
  9307. He gave her a warm smile and offered a hoof. “Shall we?”
  9308.  
  9309.  
  9310. * * ✹ * *
  9311.  
  9312.  
  9313. “Princess Celestia?”
  9314.  
  9315. “Good evening, Twilight!” Celestia replied, as she and Anon stepped off of the
  9316. chariot. “Happy Nightmare Night!”
  9317.  
  9318. “Uh… thank you?” Twilight Sparkle replied. “Forgive me, but I really didn’t
  9319. expect you to be taking part in Nightmare Night.”
  9320.  
  9321. “Well, I am hoping to change that. Besides, Prince Anon tells me he likes those
  9322. chocolate covered wafers.”
  9323.  
  9324. “Oh. I’m a bit surprised he’s not with you.”
  9325.  
  9326. “Who says I’m not?” Anon said.
  9327.  
  9328. Twilight yelped, and she retreated a step. “Anon? You dressed up as a guard?”
  9329.  
  9330. “Why not?” he said slyly. “Celly says I look good in armor.”
  9331.  
  9332. “I just… okay.” She took a deep breath, then smiled. “I’m glad you’re both here,
  9333. really. I think Spike is almost ready to go, so as soon as he comes out we can
  9334. go check out the carnival.”
  9335.  
  9336. “My sister is still planning on attending tonight, right?” said Celestia.
  9337.  
  9338. “I haven’t heard otherwise,” Twilight replied. “Is that going to be an issue?”
  9339.  
  9340. “No,” Celestia replied, but with a bit of hesitation behind the pleasant smile.
  9341. “It will be fun to spend the evening with her.”
  9342.  
  9343. “Oh, hey Princess!” Spike called out while he shut the door to the library. “I
  9344. love your costume!”
  9345.  
  9346. “Thank you! You look quite dapper as well.”
  9347.  
  9348. Spike smiled smugly and straightened his top hat while twirling one end of his
  9349. curled moustache. “Thanks. I didn’t go overboard, did I?”
  9350.  
  9351. “Not at all,” Celestia replied with a glance over his freshly-pressed suit and
  9352. tie. “I especially like the monocle. It makes you look very distinguished.”
  9353.  
  9354. “Heh-heh, aw.” Spike laughed. “I thought it would match Rarity pretty good.”
  9355.  
  9356. “Oh? Who is she going as?”
  9357.  
  9358. “You,” Spike said with a dreamy laugh. “I even helped her find some gems to put
  9359. in her mane and in the regalia she made.”
  9360.  
  9361. “It sounds like a most detailed costume! I can’t wait to see it,” Celestia said,
  9362. and they began walking towards town.
  9363.  
  9364. “Hey, where’s Anon?” Spike asked. “He didn’t stay in Canterlot, did he?”
  9365.  
  9366. “Boo.”
  9367.  
  9368. “Wah!” Spike shouted, and then he clutched his chest. “Anon, dude! Don’t do
  9369. that!”
  9370.  
  9371.  
  9372. * * ✹ * *
  9373.  
  9374.  
  9375. Celestia smiled in joy as she looked out and over the crowd that was assembled
  9376. for the Nightmare Night Carnival. The entire town had turned out and the
  9377. festivities had already begun, and she was pleased to hear the gentle sprinkle
  9378. of conversation punctuated the occasional laugh from both adults and foals as
  9379. they walked into the thick of it.
  9380.  
  9381. Most of the costumes seemed pretty standard, with the common theme being animals
  9382. of various varieties or clowns. A few were dressed as ghosts, vampires, or some
  9383. other supernatural spook, and one pony had gone with a… well, a cardboard box,
  9384. it appeared. She couldn’t suppress her smile as a few Anonymous costumes,
  9385. complete with an imitation of his Celestial Crystal and suit, made their way
  9386. around the stalls.
  9387.  
  9388. “Wow!” Anon remarked while he scanned the crowd too. “I’m all over the place.
  9389. Hey, is that Wysteria’s sister?”
  9390.  
  9391. “Raven Inkwell, yes. The resemblance is rather uncanny, isn’t it?”
  9392.  
  9393. “I wouldn’t be able to tell them apart except for the horn,” Anon replied. “But
  9394. they both dressed up as vampires?”
  9395.  
  9396. “Wysteria suggested it. She thought it would be fun to be identical, and Raven
  9397. agreed.”
  9398.  
  9399. Anon chuckled a little as both Raven and Wysteria laughed at a joke that had
  9400. been shared. It was fun to see them dressed the same.
  9401.  
  9402. “Howdy, Princess!” Applejack’s voice called out over the crowd. “That’s a mighty
  9403. fine costume you picked out.”
  9404.  
  9405. “Why thank you, Applejack!” Celestia said, but then she put a hoof to her chin
  9406. in thought. “Now, don’t tell me. I think I remember this from one of the letters
  9407. I was sent. Hm.”
  9408.  
  9409. Applejack said nothing, but she did offer a smug smile.
  9410.  
  9411. “Ah! Of course. The Mysterious Mare-Do-Well! Your exploits have become legendary
  9412. among the staff in the palace.”
  9413.  
  9414. “You told the staff about that?” Twilight asked.
  9415.  
  9416. “Oh, only the highlights of course. I would never share your names. Most thought
  9417. I had found one of Spike’s old comic books.”
  9418.  
  9419. Anon made a mental note to himself to ask about that particular incident later.
  9420. It sounded hilarious.
  9421.  
  9422. “Heh, well, comics seem to be the popular thing this year.” Applejack laughed.
  9423. “And clowns. I dunno why though.”
  9424.  
  9425. “At least you know what a clown is,” Spike muttered. “Twilight had to go with
  9426. something obscure again.”
  9427.  
  9428. “Obscure?” Celestia asked. “She’s an Ursa Major. What is obscure about that?”
  9429.  
  9430. “Thank you!” Twilight replied, with a smug grin for Spike. “See?”
  9431.  
  9432. “Whatever,” he scoffed.
  9433.  
  9434. “Well, care to try your hoof at bobbin’ for apples?” Applejack swept a hoof back
  9435. towards the large barrel that held the game. “So far Bulk Biceps has the most
  9436. apples at twelve.”
  9437.  
  9438. “YEAH!” Bulk shouted from somewhere in the distance.
  9439.  
  9440. Celestia drew back a little and had a playful grin on her face. “Are you sure
  9441. this is an appropriate game for a princess?”
  9442.  
  9443. Applejack scoffed. “Oh yeah. This is one of Princess Luna’s favorites. It’s good
  9444. enough for ya. Question is, can yah handle it?”
  9445.  
  9446. “There is only one way to find out,” Celestia said with a determined grin.
  9447.  
  9448.  
  9449. * * ✹ * *
  9450.  
  9451.  
  9452. For the next hour, Anon and Celestia had a fantastic and enjoyable time. The
  9453. Princess managed to snag fifteen apples, but she also somehow managed to lose
  9454. one set of her fake eyelashes in the water for a brief moment. Anon bested her
  9455. in the spider toss game, but Celestia’s heart beat just a bit faster with joy
  9456. when he ‘apologized’ with a large bundle of cotton candy that she was happy to
  9457. share.
  9458.  
  9459. “All right, every pony!” Mayor Mare eventually called out from the main stage.
  9460. “It’s time for the annual Nightmare Night storytelling! Everypony who wants to
  9461. hear a spooooky story, follow Zecora!”
  9462.  
  9463. “At least the Mayor is actually spooky this year,” Spike remarked while he and
  9464. Twilight began walking with Celestia and Anon. “That hockey mask is way better
  9465. than what she usually comes up with, and the rusty machete is a nice touch.”
  9466.  
  9467. “Spike!” Twilight admonished her young assistant.
  9468.  
  9469. “What?” he replied with a defensive look. “I’m just saying she’s usually not
  9470. that scary.”
  9471.  
  9472. “Twilight? Oh, Twilight!” Rarity called out from somewhere in the crowd, and the
  9473. five paused for a moment as a miniature Celestia worked her way towards them.
  9474. Anon had to admit she’d done a good job: her wings looked fairly real and her
  9475. mane was both spot-on for color and sparkle with the small diamonds that had
  9476. been woven into it. The tail was close but still had the trademarked Rarity curl
  9477. to it, but overall she had produced a very good... well, it was certainly not a
  9478. copy of Celestia’s distinctive look. Rarity did not do copies. It was
  9479. undoubtedly inspired by Celestia’s appearance, and had yielded a fashionable
  9480. princess of its own.
  9481.  
  9482. “Hello Princess!” Rarity said once she had caught up to them. “I must say, that
  9483. is a fabulous costume!”
  9484.  
  9485. “Why, thank you!” Celestia replied with a chuckle. “And I love yours as well.
  9486. Care to stand in for me at the next ribbon cutting I have scheduled?”
  9487.  
  9488. “Ah, well.” Rarity waved a dismissive hoof, but she was obviously pleased with
  9489. the praise. “Just a little makeup and papier-mâché is all this is. Besides, I’m
  9490. not much of a princess without my prince! Have any of seen my Spikey-Wikey? He
  9491. promised to escort me to the storytelling.”
  9492.  
  9493. “Ah, my lady!” Spike popped out and bowed deeply to Rarity. “I was hoping I
  9494. might find you here. Shall we away?”
  9495.  
  9496. “Oh, Spike! Aren’t you just the most precious thing!” Rarity cooed and giggled.
  9497. Anon giggled a bit himself as Celestia rolled her eyes. “Please, let us away
  9498. indeed!”
  9499.  
  9500. Spike offered his arm, Rarity eagerly took it, and the two walked out and ahead
  9501. of the others.
  9502.  
  9503. “Those two are horrible.” Twilight chuckled.
  9504.  
  9505. “But sweet as well,” Anon added.
  9506.  
  9507. “Yeah.”
  9508.  
  9509. The walk to the statue of Nightmare Moon was a short one, but Celestia held back
  9510. and allowed everypony else to fill in the area in front of them first. Anon
  9511. didn’t mind this, he simply leaned into his wife, and she gave him a quick
  9512. nuzzle.
  9513.  
  9514. “Holding up all right?” Anon asked.
  9515.  
  9516. “Yes. I think so,” she said. “I am slightly concerned about this, though.”
  9517.  
  9518. “Just say the word and we’re gone,” Anon said  firmly, and Celestia saw both
  9519. sorrow and resoluteness in his face. “Or don’t even do that. Just teleport away.
  9520. I’ll understand.”
  9521.  
  9522. “I don’t want to leave, though; I have enjoyed myself immensely. Let’s just see
  9523. how it goes for now.”
  9524.  
  9525. “All right,” he said with more than enough worry in his voice.
  9526.  
  9527. A puff of smoke and a clap of thunder silenced the assembled crowd, and Zecora
  9528. emerged from the white cloud with her usual white wig and spiders. She gave the
  9529. audience a eerie glance before smiling devilishly. “Every year, we put on a
  9530. disguise to save ourselves from her searching eyes.”
  9531.  
  9532. Luna, I will not fight you! You must lower the moon!
  9533.  
  9534. Celestia clamped her eyes shut. No, no, no. She wasn’t going to let the
  9535. nightmare win.
  9536.  
  9537. “But Nightmare Moon wants just one thing: to gobble up ponies in one quick
  9538. swing!”
  9539.  
  9540. I have but one royal duty now: to destroy you!
  9541.  
  9542. No! That was over a thousand years ago! She had paid her penance! Luna was back,
  9543. and in her rightful place!
  9544.  
  9545. “Hungrily, she soars the sky. If she sees nopony, she passes by. So if she comes
  9546. and all is clear, Equestria is safe another year!”
  9547.  
  9548. Did you really expect me to sit idly by while they all basked in your precious
  9549. light?
  9550.  
  9551. “No!” Celestia muttered through gritted teeth. “I can beat this!”
  9552.  
  9553. Dark clouds moved in across the sky, obscuring the moon and bringing a furious
  9554. round of lightning rolling along with a wicked gust of wind through the tree
  9555. branches.
  9556.  
  9557. “Celly?” Anon’s hand gently touched Celestia’s shoulder, but she did not feel or
  9558. hear him.
  9559.  
  9560. “Fill up her belly with a treat or two, so she won’t return to come… eat you!”
  9561.  
  9562. A wicked laugh, one that had haunted Celestia’s dreams for centuries and had
  9563. tortured her soul like nothing else ever could rang out from the sky with a
  9564. furious round of thunder.
  9565.  
  9566. There can only be one princess in Equestria, and that princess… will be me!
  9567.  
  9568. “No!” Celestia screamed, and that was more than enough to set off more screams
  9569. from the terrified fillies and colts in the audience.
  9570.  
  9571. “Twilight!” Anon shouted.
  9572.  
  9573. There was a flash and the familiar twist of teleportation magic, but then all
  9574. was still. Crickets chirped their ode to the night over Celestia’s raw and
  9575. ragged breathing, the cool night air caressed her coat and gently tickled the
  9576. feathers of her wings, and a warm pair of arms wrapped around her neck while
  9577. tears dripped from her love’s cheeks to her neck.
  9578.  
  9579. “I’m so sorry.” Anon’s soft words soothed away her agony and calmed her harried
  9580. soul. “I should never have brought you here.”
  9581.  
  9582. Celestia’s wings instinctively went to cover her Anon. Her tears mingled with
  9583. his, and she felt his love permeate throughout her whole system. In fact, it
  9584. only took a few moments of consolation before she was able to sit back and look
  9585. him in the eye.
  9586.  
  9587. “Thank you,” she said with a kiss.
  9588.  
  9589. “We should go. I’ve tortured you enough tonight.”
  9590.  
  9591. Celestia gently shook her head. “No. I want to stay, and you haven’t tortured
  9592. me.”
  9593.  
  9594. “You do?” he replied to her.
  9595.  
  9596. “I’ve had a lot of fun here, Anon. I’ve loved talking with my little ponies, the
  9597. games have been delightful, and I’ve been able to spend time with you. We maybe
  9598. should have skipped Nightmare Moon’s entrance, but I think the rest of the night
  9599. will be fine. Please, let’s stay.”
  9600.  
  9601. “If you really want to, then,” he replied. “But…”
  9602.  
  9603. She kissed him to silence him. “No buts. You and I are going to go have fun.
  9604. Besides, we haven’t gotten any of those chocolate wafers yet.”
  9605.  
  9606. “It hurt though, didn’t it?” he whispered.
  9607.  
  9608. “Nightmare Moon will always hurt me, I think. I… I started reliving it, love. I
  9609. was going back, hearing her words of denouncement and feeling the panic and
  9610. horror that I felt then. It was… it was painful.”
  9611.  
  9612. “Sister?” A familiar and welcome voice disturbed their little snuggle.
  9613.  
  9614. Celestia smiled deeply and released Anon so she could face Luna. “Happy
  9615. Nightmare Night, Sister.”
  9616.  
  9617. Luna glanced over Celestia’s costume with a smirk. “A giraffe? Really?”
  9618.  
  9619. “I like giraffes. They’re cute.”
  9620.  
  9621. Luna and Celestia then hugged. “I think I scared you when I entered as the
  9622. Nightmare. I caught a glimpse of you before Twilight teleported you away.”
  9623.  
  9624. “Perhaps a little.”
  9625.  
  9626. “Know this, then: you are not the same mare you were then, just as I am not.”
  9627. Luna then looked her sister square in the eye. “And I do not hold you
  9628. responsible for what happened. I alone chose the Nightmare.”
  9629.  
  9630. “But I drove you to it,” Celestia whispered, and her head dipped in shame.
  9631.  
  9632. “No. I drove myself. Celly, you could have given me the sun itself and it
  9633. wouldn’t have been enough. The only way you could have appeased me is by forcing
  9634. our little ponies to worship me, and I realize now that such a thing should not
  9635. and will not ever be. You were right.”
  9636.  
  9637. They both sniffled and fought back tears with this, and Anon simply stood aside
  9638. with a smile. It was a touching moment of divine sisterly-ness, and it did warm
  9639. and fluttery things to his heart that he was accepted enough to be present when
  9640. both rulers of Equestria let down their manes to just be as they once were, and
  9641. would be into the future.
  9642.  
  9643. “Thank you, Luna. I disagree with you in one area; there were many things I did
  9644. wrong. But to endlessly review them does no good to either of us. This should be
  9645. a night of merriment, so let us all go and be merry.”
  9646.  
  9647. “A wise idea,” Luna said. “Anon? Shall we away?”
  9648.  
  9649. “Let us away,” he quipped as he marched up between them. “Though I think I left
  9650. my helmet back at the statue.”
  9651.  
  9652. “I’m sure Twilight will bring it to us.” Celestia smiled. “Now then. Where are
  9653. we?”
  9654.  
  9655.  
  9656. * * ✹ * *
  9657.  
  9658.  
  9659. The rest of the evening turned out to be a blast. Celestia and Luna had fun
  9660. challenging each other in the various games, though both were playfully
  9661. indignant when Anon managed to haul out twenty two apples in the bobbing apples
  9662. game. Any candy that was presented to Luna—or, Nightmare Moon, to be accurate—by
  9663. the fillies and colts of town was split evenly with Celestia and Anon, and all
  9664. three enjoyed dancing with the music being provided. Celestia cheered the
  9665. loudest, in fact, when the Pony Tones finished their special Nightmare Night
  9666. Review, but Luna cheered almost as loudly as Celestia did.
  9667.  
  9668. Almost.
  9669.  
  9670. It was near midnight when the party finally began to wind down, and though all
  9671. the visiting Royals were sad to have such a fun night end, they were pleased
  9672. they had been a part of the festivities and they made sure to thank everypony
  9673. for such a wonderful time before departing. As they took off into the sky to
  9674. return home, Celestia gratefully wrapped one wing around Anon and gave him a
  9675. quick nuzzle of appreciation.
  9676.  
  9677. “This was a fun night. We should do it again next year,” Celestia said happily.
  9678.  
  9679. “We should, but I think we’ll skip the story of Nightmare Moon next time.”
  9680.  
  9681. “I agree.” She laughed.
  9682.  
  9683. “So… how permanent is that dye?”
  9684.  
  9685. “Why do you ask?” Celestia questioned back.
  9686.  
  9687. “Well, I was just imagining you going to day court like that. You might summon a
  9688. Discord if you do.”
  9689.  
  9690. “Mm, maybe I will then,” she replied, with another quick kiss. “He hates public
  9691. displays of affection, so it would be the perfect way to torture him.”
  9692.  
  9693. Anon let out an undignified snort of amusement. “You are too much sometimes. I
  9694. love you.”
  9695.  
  9696. “And I love you, my Anon.”

/Sun/day-Celestia Archive

by Black516

No Nose Knows Copyright Part 1

by Black516

No Nose Knows Copyright Part 2

by Black516