We Share Everything (Part 13)


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                                            Part 13: Celestia, Luna, and Anon meet up in the kitchen and make breakfast together. A few points about alicorns and politics are discussed by way of analogy. Celestia makes a major announcement and the sisters have a brief consultation. The kitchen staff are later pleased to find that there is no mess left in the kitchen for the second day in a row.


                                            >C: Celestia yawned as she entered the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water. Drinking slowly and watching some birds argue on a branch near the closest window, she happily reflected on the events of the evening before. After making love, she and Anon had laid by the fire deep in discussions for about an hour. She was savoring the wholesome warmth that still filled her heart when she heard the door open. Looking in that direction, she saw Anon and Luna enter.

                                            >L: "Good morning big sister! Anon and I have come to help you make breakfast. We were just in the southern gardens when you raised the sun and decided to come lend a hoof...and a hand."

                                            >C: "Good morning little sister! Good morning Anon! Wonderful of you to help! I just got here myself." said Celestia with a radiant smile.

                                            "Good morning Celly! You look rested and resplendent as always!" Anon had often cooked with Celestia. He had with Luna less often due the difference in work schedules between them. Regardless, he had always enjoyed it.

                                            >C: Taking up a bag of flower in her aura, Celestia asked, "How was the work-night? You two must be exhausted," and with a wink toward Anon, she added, especially you Anon!"

                                            Getting the stove ready, which was heated by magical crystals, Anon smiled knowingly and answered, "The rest of the evening was productive. The staff is starting to make significant progress toward getting back on schedule."

                                            >L: "It was just a typical work-night for me, Celly. Though I actually spent more time than usual helping ponies in their dreams." said Luna as she started taking bowls, plates, and utensils out of the drawers and cupboards. She started arranging them in tight logical order on the central wooden work table. "Anon if you do the cooking, I think Cell and I can make the batter and get everything else ready."

                                            "Sure!" answered Anon as he reached for some frying pans.

                                            >C: "Excellent idea Luna. Anon, is an expert at cooking pancakes!" Celestia was pouring flower into a measuring cup, spilling some on the table and floor. Eyeing the erratic result, she commented, "Good enough." Finished with the flower, she dropped it down on the table with plop that produced a white cloud and sprinkled the surroundings with thousands of white specks. She now busied herself noisily emptying a drawer on to the counter looking for the whisk.

                                            >L: Moving on to precisely measuring milk out into measuring cups, Luna brought up the subject of alicorns again. "Celly, Anon and I were talking about alicorns and how their reigns go. Could you tell him your analogy in terms of human mythology. I think it would make more sense to him. I would tell it, but I don't remember the details."

                                            "Human mythology?" Now Anon was curious as to what human mythology Celestia knew. "Now I'm really interested!" he said, as he searched for some vegetable oil. Naturally, ponies were averse to something like butter, but luckily, there was a type of Equestrian vegetable whose oil was just as useful and tasty.

                                            >C: The counter now covered in a mess of kitchen tools, Celestia had found the whisk and was now absently levitating a bag of sugar out of a cupboard while listening to Luna and Anon. Without noticing, she ripped the bag when it caught on the latch of the cupboard door. It now left a thick trail of sugar on its way to the table. "Oops!" she said once she realized. "Certainly Luna! If you recall, the story is called the Master Ring and the Rainbow Wizards. Anon, do you remember when you told me the story? It is the one with the evil Armor Monster - I think his name was Sauron - his band of malicious gremlins, the Forest Snobs, that warrior named Atreyu and his poor horse Artax, the rainbow wizards, and the mini-me's with hairy feet? The one where mini-me needs to take a magic ring and drop it in a volcano?"

                                            Suppressing hysterical laughter, Anon deconstructed this mishmash and reconstructed it in the right order mentally to determine that she was mixing The Lord of The Rings, Gremlins, The Neverending Story, and Austin Powers. At various times, Anon had told Celestia and Luna about these and other human stories. He was now anxious to hear Celestia's retelling.

                                            >L: Luna was smiling, glad that she asked Celestia to tell the story. 'Celly has such a good memory for these things!' thought Luna. Meanwhile, she had completed her organizing of the cooking and eating implements: the cooking and mixing utensils were neatly organized on one side of the table equidistant from each other, the plates and eating utensils orderly stacked at the other end, and the precisely measured milk in the center. Now, she was pulling out spices, baking powder, baking soda, and measuring spoons.

                                            "Ah yes! I remember! It's one of my favorite stories. I'm anxious to hear you tell it!" said Anon while he got the magic crystals to start heating the stove.

                                            >C: "It is one of mine as well!" said Celestia as she finished scooping the measured flour into the mixing bowl. She miscalculated as she put down the metal spoon and it went clattering to the floor. Turning around to see where it went, she inadvertently slammed her flank into the table. The shock knocked over the decanter of milk, another of water, and the spice bottles Luna had neatly arranged; the liquids now poured to the floor and mixed with the flour, sugar, and spices that had been spilled. "Oops again!"

                                            >L: In a flash Luna had righted the water decanter, but could not save the milk decanter as it rolled off the table and crashed to the floor with a loud clang, splashing milk everywhere. She moved on to reorganizing the spice bottles. "Careful my sister! We need to make the batter in the mixing bowl, not the floor!" she said with a teasing giggle.

                                            >C: "Right little sister! We'll...uh, clean that up later," referring to the milk. Anyway, I shall tell the story." Raising a fore hoof, she began, "You see, Sauron gave out some magical rings as door prizes at his coronation party, except the one that controlled them all, which he kept himself since he was evil. The humans got nine, so they were the winners; they got some vacation packages to Fantasia as prizes. The miners got five; they were content with that. The Forest Snobs only got three, which magically made them even more snobbish, if that is even possible. In a huff they went back to their forest and refused to talk to anybody. Secretly they plotted to use their rings to build a weapon on the moon and hold the world ransom for one million dollars. Meanwhile, the miners used theirs to summon a great fire elemental to help them smelt their gold since they ran out of coal. It actually worked out well for them since they could increase their production five fold! The drawback was that the rings cursed their females with beards and ugliness." Celestia now paused to find the fruit. "Now, where is the fruit?" she said as she rifled through the cupboards, sending random pots and pans clanging to the countertop or floor as she did.

                                            >L: Luna, who had been listening intently while measuring out precise quantities of cinnamon, nutmeg, and vanilla, said, "Try the cupboard to your left Celly."

                                            Anon, who had been greasing pans was stifling laughter as best he could. "Yes, that sounds about right, Celly. Please go on!" he encouraged.

                                            >C: "Ah! You were right Luna! Lucky for us the cooks have prepared bowls of strawberries, bananas, and blueberries. We'll have all three!" Levitating them to the table, she likewise spilled significant amounts to the floor. As she moved about she mashed them into a slurry with the spilled mixture that already coated the floor. "Right, where was I in the story?"

                                            >L: "At the bearded women, my sister."

                                            >C: "Ah! So what happened next is the humans with the nine rings, who had found that their vacation packages were canceled due to an outbreak of The Nothing, turned into black-robed skeletons with poisoned swords. Meanwhile, Sauron saw the opportunity to put his plan in motion by releasing his gremlin hordes to wreak havoc across the land. But then, Sauron lost the master ring in an 'arm-wrestling' match..." here she made air-quotes with her hooves, "...with a pompous human warrior who wanted it for a necklace. But in any case, the warrior lost it, and his head by the way, which made the skeleton-humans angry. They blamed the mini-me's and chased them around trying to poke them with their poisoned swords. I suppose they wanted the mini-me's to go find it. The skeletons were also jealous of the fashionable quasi-futuristic clothes that the mini-me's possessed."

                                            >L: Nodding in agreement, Luna was now dumping the carefully measured spices, baking powder, and milk into the mixing bowl with the flour.

                                            Anon too, was now listening intently as Celestia continued. He had finished greasing the pans and was waiting for the stove to get to temperature.

                                            >C: Haphazardly chopping fruit with too much energy, sending chunks flying around the room, Celestia continued the story. "However, four or five mini-me's escaped and teamed up with a Forest Snob archer, a red-haired miner, and a warrior-prince to find the master ring and destroy it. They called themselves The Friendship of the Ring. The idea was that if you destroy the master ring all the others would vanish and peace would be restored."

                                            >L: "Sister, what happened to the other mini-me's They ones that remained in their village? They didn't die did they?"

                                            >C: "Certainly not! They got turned into zombies by the ring bearing miners who had defected to Sauron's forces! But, don't worry. They only stay that way until the end of the story when the magic spell is broken. Suffice it to say that this intrepid band went searching for the master ring. Meanwhile, the whole world was in chaos and uproar! The gremlins attacked everything. They were especially good as messing up the miners' equipment. The only way to stop them was with sunlight, but The Nothing had blocked out the sun completely!"

                                            "Incredible!" said Anon.

                                            >C: Finished with the fruit, Celestia managed to get about two-thirds of it into the mixing bowl, spilling the rest all over the floor and counter. Pausing with cooking activities for a moment she continued. "And it was then, at that desperate hour, that the rainbow wizards arrived! One of them, Radish Smash the brown, could talk to animals - except for spiders - and sent them to search the world for the master ring. Another wizard, Grand Dolphin the gray opted to join the Friendship of the Ring. Once the animals found the master ring, Grand Dolphin used his magic and wisdom to guide them through a number of dungeons, traps, hazards, swamps, and mountains to go fetch it from a cave dwelling fish merchant who found it in one of his fish."

                                            >L: "Celly, what about the other wizards? And what about Atreyu? What about Artax?"

                                            >C: Taking up a whisk and waving it around as she spoke, Celestia said, "I was getting to that. The red wizard went to organize the miners to fight the gremlins in their mines. By now, the gremlins had stolen their rings and were using them to fight humans and miners alike. The blue wizard went to get the help of the tree monsters, the Ents. The green wizard went to go convince the Forest Snobs to help. He had to use some clever magic to reverse the un-snobify them. The yellow wizard went to the human kingdoms to unite them against Sauron. Remember, Suron had lost the master ring. So, he was waging wars all across the land to get it back." Taking a breath and becoming grave, Celestia expounded on the fate of Atreyu and Artex. "Meanwhile, sensing the impending battle of ultimate destiny, Arteyu went to enlist the help of three legendary heros; a giant turtle, a lucky dragon, and a rock monster." At this point Celestia become solemn, "Artax, unfortunately succumbed in the swamps of sadness."

                                            >L: Luna looked on painfully. "That's terribly sad, Celly. But I suppose it has a heroic death in the struggle for justice."

                                            >C: "It was, of course."

                                            Interrupting, Anon asked, "What about Saruman, the white wizard?"

                                            >C: Celestia now picked up the mixing bowl and was about to speak and mix simultaneously.

                                            >L: Sensing impending disaster, Luna said, "Let me mix sister. You finish the story!"

                                            >C: "Thank you Luna" said Celestia as she passed off the mixing bowl. "The white wizard did not play much of a role except to sing encouraging songs and monitor things from his tree house using a magical orb. Anyway, a number of intervening events occurred. But the thrust of it is that under the leadership of the wizards, the world's races and creatures united and defeated Sauron's gremlin armies. It was a battle with gremlins, humans, Forest Snobs, miners, giant eagles, and the three heros that Atreyu brought. While that was happening, Grand Dolphin and the Friendship band snuck into Sauron's lands. Then the main mini-me, had to take the master ring by himself into the volcano to drop it in."

                                            >L: "Why by himself sister? Surely it would have been safer if they all went together." Luna asked while she mixed the batter.

                                            >C: "Well, he was the only one who could fit in the volcano's tunnels, my dear sister! The others were too big. Knowing this, they had brought him along for that purpose. Plus, he was some sort of thief by trade, which made him ideal for creeping through tunnels and such. So, he dropped it in, peace was restored to the land, and the other mini-me's stopped being zombies." Looking to Anon for assistance, she said, "Anon, do that pose you showed me. The one mini-mi did when he tossed the ring in."

                                            Anon made a face and raised his pinky to the corner of his mouth, delighting both princesses. Then, while Luna handed the mixed batter to him along with a ladle, he asked, "So, how does this relate to alicorns, Celly?

                                            >L: Luna was still laughing wildly at the thought of a miniature Anon making the mini-me expression while tossing a ring into a volcano.

                                            >C: Taking on a wise expression, Celestia explained, "You see, Anon, without the guidance of the wizards, everyone was disorganized and scattered. When the wizards came, they brought with them exactly the wisdom and magical skills that the world needed at that time. More importantly, they brought friendship. Using these tools they united the world in friendship to defeat Sauron. Afterwords, they stayed in the world to guide the snobs, miners, humans, and mini-me's for as long as they were needed. When they were no longer needed, they left. That's like alicorns, except that alicorns do not wander about randomly like the wizards in your story. Instead, they reign over kingdoms." Celestia now smiled proudly at her ability to relate a mythological human story to Equestrian reality.

                                            >L: "Well done, sister! You tell the story so well!" said Luna, grinning with pride at her sister's keen memory and story telling ability.

                                            Now cooking pancakes, Anon was bowled over. "Indeed, that was an incredible story, Celly! It's almost exactly how I remember it. Only I never thought to relate it to alicorns. Thank you for the analogy!" Actually, Anon felt the story added very little to us understanding and my have confused him even more. Then Anon added as random thought, "Somehow I remembered that the white wizard turned evil though."

                                            >C: Stiffening a little at Anon's remark, Celestia glanced at Luna who mirrored the unspoken thought.

                                            >L: Nodding at Celestia to let he know it was fine, Luna recalled thoughts on this topic that often occupied her mind.

                                            Hearing a sudden silence behind him, Anon looked over to see Luna standing, serious and somber, next to him. She had been watching him with fascination as he flipped pancakes. Suddenly, he realized his error and kicked himself inside. "Oh! Luna, I didn't mean it like that. I'm sorry."

                                            >L: Luna's serious face softened into a gracious smile. "I am not angry or hurt Anon. It is a sensitive subject but I have overcome that. Yes, I had turned to evil once but thanks to the friendship of others and my sister I was able to be redeemed!" Taking and releasing a deep breath, she continued. "I have learned to turn my mistake into strength. I now have a unique perspective on the nature of evil and I use it to help protect Equestria. I was lucky that way." Looking over to Celestia, Luna expanded on the thought, "I was lucky, but others have not been. It does not happen often, but it never goes well for alicorns that truly turn to evil."

                                            >C: Picking up where Luna left off, Celestia added, "Luna's right Anon. It usually leads to tremendous wars, strife, and bloodshed. In the end such an alicorn is..." Celestia's countenance grew serious as she finished, "...is usually eliminated and replaced." Celestia now gave a reassuring smile. "But it is infrequent." Pausing, her face betrayed some pain as if suppressing something deeper. "I only know of one instance during our reign and that was in a very distant kingdom."

                                            >L: Innocently, Luna inadvertently tread where she should not. She looked to her sister and quietly began to ask, "Celly, was that not our..." But she stopped cold upon receipt of a stern look from Celestia that said 'Do not say it!' Nodding at the realization, Luna recovered. "...It happened while I was on the moon. In any case, these things are rare indeed."

                                            >C: Celestia cast a look of gratitude at Luna in appreciation.

                                            Missing what just happened due to the quietness of Luna's aborted question, Anon was feeling more at ease. Continuing to cook pancakes, Anon ventured a question. "So, are all alicorn run kingdoms peaceful unless the alicorn leader is evil?"

                                            >L: "Not all Anon." Luna began. "Far to the east, past several other kingdoms, there is a land ruled over by a great alicorn emperor. Even though he is a kind ruler, that loves and cares for his ponies, his land has been at near continual war with the vicious creatures that inhabit the uncontrolled badlands beyond his boarder. He is a wise and incredible military strategist. He is what his land, and what other lands, including ours, needs."

                                            "What do you mean by ours as well?"

                                            >C: Celestia answered this time. "His efforts prevent the war from moving west toward our lands. We reciprocate with exceptionally good trade deals so that his kingdom is not sapped financially and destroyed. Occasionally, we have also supplemented his military with ours during particularly trying times. Other kingdoms have done the same."

                                            >L: Luna decided to bring the conversation full circle. "It is as I explained Anon, alicorns appear and rule as they are needed, for the talents and skills they contribute to the protection of the ponies of their lands. Moreover, we work together in this regard. That Emperor's efforts help us, and we do what we can to help him as well."

                                            Anon tried to understand this and compared it to human politics. Presently, he voiced his thoughts. "It's so very different from human politics. The rulers of human nations use cutthroat tactics to expand and stay in power. They help no one unless it helps themselves. They use war, the threat of war, economics, and diplomacy to expand their influence and to mercilessly crush their opponents. They do so even if their opponents are working toward something better for mankind. They tend to be sociopathic." Anon felt that this topic should draw to a close. Adopting a smile, he looked at both Celestia and Luna. "Enough of these heavy topics. Now it's time for pancakes!"

                                            >C: Using her aura, Celestia pulled three stools around the central table. "Yes, time for pancakes!"

                                            >L: Setting the table, Luna nodded in agreement.

                                            Anon placed pancakes on everypony's plates and retrieved the syrup from the cupboard. Pulling the kettle he had also been heating on the stove, Anon made tea for Celestia, Luna, and himself.

                                            >C: They ate and discussed various light topics, but at length Celestia had something important to say. "Luna, Anon, I have been doing a lot of thinking. I believe, based on his exceptional dedication, work ethic, and quality of work, that Anon is ready for greater responsibilities within the Ministry of State. Ergo, I would like to propose two changes. First, that Anon will be trained to take on diplomatic responsibilities instead of mere administration. Second, I think it would be appropriate if Anon is made an assistant to both myself and Luna." Looking back and forth between Luna and Anon, Celestia asked, "What do you think?"

                                            >L: Clapping her fore hooves together once and then extending a hoof in Celestia's direction, Luna exclaimed, "Sister, that is a wonderful idea! I agree completely!" Then her face grew serious. "But Celly, what about the prime councilors? Their approval is required as well whenever anypony is set aside to join the diplomatic ranks. There are clearance requirements for secrecy as well."

                                            >C: "I am confident they will approve, Luna. Anon's record speaks for itself. He is one of the hardest and most efficient workers at court. Nopony can deny that." Now Celestia looked expectantly to Anon. "Anon, what do you think?"

                                            "Well, I'm certainly honored! I don't know what to say beyond that, except that I would do my very best! I love Equestria and I would love to work for its benefit among other nations." Then Anon asked, "Celly, Luna, you heard what I said about human politics. Arn't you afraid that I would do something like that?"

                                            >C: "No Anon, Luna and I both know that you have a good heart. You have never done anything that would cause either one of us to fear that from you." A big smile now took hold of Celestia's beautiful face. "It is a promotion Anon! I know it has not been approved yet, but I know it will. So, congratulations!"

                                            >L: "Yes, congratulations!"

                                            Anon was a mixture of pride and misery as Celestia's comment about a good heart penetrated him like a knife. He did not have a good heart. He was cheating on her. "Thanks! It's overwhelming!" and a smile were all he could manage.

                                            >C: Being a bit more practical, Celestia expounded on how it would be implemented. "Now, nothing would start until after the diplomatic conference, but after that you would begin your training. Of course, part of that would be from within the Ministry. However, both Luna and I would give you additional training. I would give you training on overt diplomacy." Casting a wily smile at Luna, who was nodding and wearing an enormous grin, Celestia continued, "Luna will give you training on covert diplomacy."

                                            "Covert diplomacy? Do you mean dark politics? Cloak and dagger?" Anon asked with some trepidation.

                                            >L: "It is not like what you think Anon. We do not resort to subterfuge or things of that nature except against enemies at war with us. It means saying things, conveying ideas, and convincing others in ways that are not direct. We do not use it to tear down, only to build up mutually beneficial relationships with other nations. It is a way to get around conscious barriers other rulers and diplomats may put up. You will see when I train you!" Luna said with solid assurance.

                                            Anon answered with a smile and nod. Seeing that everypony had finished their pancakes, Anon said, "Does anypony want any more?" Receiving head shakes, he added, "In that case, I can take your plates and start washing up."

                                            >L: Before anypony else could speak, Luna jumped in with an assertive tone, "No need Anon, Celestia and I will take care of it. Just leave everything. You should go get some rest and relaxation." Luna looked at Celestia, then again at Anon with a crafty expression. "After all, besides your normal duties, you have engaged in other more energy sapping duties this past night!"

                                            Anon noted Celestia's giggle, and he felt himself blush. Looking to the two of them, Anon asked, "Are you sure? It's no trouble whatsoever and it will only take me a moment to..."

                                            >L: But Luna cut him off. "Anon we insist. Right, Celly?"

                                            >C: Suddenly drawn into the conversation, Celetia took a moment to look to Luna for direction. Seeing the subtle hint but wondering what it meant, she verbally echoed Luna's urgings. "Yes Anon, we insist. Go relax my love!"

                                            Trumped by the insistence of the two royal siblings Anon conceded defeat. "In that case, adieu my beautiful ladies!" Anon then bowed and left the kitchen.

                                            >L: With Anon gone, Luna looked to her perplexed sister who was awaiting an explanation patiently. "Do not be alarmed, my sister. I simply wanted to talk with you when Anon was not here."

                                            >C: Unable to contain curiosity, Celestia asked, "About what Luna? Is there something wrong?"

                                            >L: Looking pensive for a moment, Luna responded, "In a way, yes. However, it is nothing that cannot be cured." Then Luna proceeded to explain to her confused sister. "I have learned that Anon feels troubled. He is worried that being with me will hurt your feelings. He says it causes him pain in his heart."

                                            >C: Celestia looked surprised. "But Luna, that's ridiculous. If anything it would be the opposite. How did he come to this conclusion I wonder."

                                            >L: Giving her sister a comforting look, Luna replied, "I am not certain. However, in his perception his pain is significant." Luna now became analytical. "Nevertheless, it is clearly evident in the face of what we know, that his concern is baseless. Relative to something that would cause real emotional pain, the pain of which he speaks is nonexistent."

                                            >C: Feeling a surge of confidence, Celestia made a proposal, "I can easily soothe his pain, my sister!"

                                            >L: Becoming serious, Luna held up her fore hoof. "My dear sister, I actually believe the reverse is called for. What Anon needs is to understand his imaginary pain in the context of real pain. Once he sees the relative insignificance of his supposed emotional pain, he will abandon it."

                                            >C: "Sister, you cannot mean..."

                                            >L: "I certainly do, big  sister."

                                            >C: "Luna, is that not extreme though?"

                                            >L: "Perhaps, but a true solution that is extreme is better than a temporary solution that will allow the problem to fester and return stronger. Do you not agree?"

                                            >C: Seeing the truth of it, Celestia responded, "Of course, little sister. How do you propose to do it then?"

                                            >L: "I am thinking it should take place several days before the conference. It would give him time to recover. Also, his duties for the preparations would be complete or nearly complete. So, there is also less risk that way."

                                            >C: "That would seem to make sense. While he has no major diplomatic role during the conference, he will still need to be available to coordinate and assist the event coordinator."

                                            >L: "Exactly my sister, but also it would take place with enough time left over for him to be available to you. During the conference you are the chief diplomat. You know it is not my strength. I will only be able to support you at your side. So, you will need to feel relaxed and confident for the conference. That is vital!"

                                            >C: Celestia captured her sister's meaning and smiled in gratitude. "Luna, I deeply appreciate your kind consideration! Just let me know beforehand, would you? I just worry my sister."

                                            >L: Luna beamed assurance. "Not to worry, big sister. He will be in very safe and capable hooves!" After a quiet pause Luna spoke again. "Now, carry on your day, Celly. I will take care of everything here in the kitchen."

                                            >C: "Far from it sister, I will help you!"

                                            >L: "You have helped me immeasurably lately. I wish to do something for you. Besides, you know that I need to do it in my particular way!"

                                            >C: Celestia laughed at those true words. Filled with sisterly love, Celestia embraced her sister and said, "Adieu, my sister!"

                                            >L: "Celly, what is this word you and Anon use, 'adieu'?"

                                            >C: "It is a word from Anon's home world, a French word. It means 'goodbye'. Anon says French is considered the language of love on his Earth."

                                            >L: "In that case, adieu my sister!"

                                            >C: "Adieu!" With that Celestia departed the kitchen. She had not been so happy in a long time. The cumulative effect of love making with Anon, seeing her sister happy, knowing that preparations for the diplomatic conference were coming together, that Anon would soon be promoted, and that he loved her, had Celestia feeling as if she was floating in the clouds.

                                            >L: Alone now in the kitchen, Luna sipped her tea with contentment. Looking at the mess Celestia had caused, she smiled to herself. Her sister was a tremendous ruler, but a klutz in the kitchen. Nevertheless, she dearly loved her sister and all her quirks!


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