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Ponies getting scared by vaccuums

By kqaii
Created: 2022-07-27 12:31:08
Expiry: Never

  1. original Pastebin url:https://pastebin.com/Zi1DqpPg
  2. *The story in Pastebin seems incomplete,so I rearranged the story from the original thread and uploaded it here*
  3. *original author is Anon*
  4. ---
  5. OP:I want to trap Rainbow Dash on the corner with a vacuum cleaner again
  6.  
  7. Rainbow Dash
  8. >"Hey Anon, whaddaya wanna do today? I think we should go out for some wicked fl--
  9. >"Uh...what's that?"
  10. >Click
  11. >VRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMM
  12. >"AAAAAAAHHH! OMGOMGOMGOMGSHUTITOFFSHUTITOFFSHUTITOFFFFF!"
  13. >you creep towards her, pushing the vacuum across the carpet
  14. >"A-anon I'm serious! Th-this isn't funny! W-what is that!? Please, m-make that loud sound stop!!"
  15. >You trap Rainbow in the corner, the blaring machine steadily encroaching upon her position
  16. >Her wings are fully extended, but she's too terrified to even fly away
  17. >The noise of the vacuum overrides her most basic fight or flight tendencies, rendering her shivering and curled up
  18. >You smile like the sick bastard you are as she goes silent with fear, covering her eyes, fully prepared to die
  19. >You then turn away, going off to vacuum the rest of the carpet
  20. >Rainbow faints in a puddle of her own piss
  21. >You'll beat her with a newspaper for that later
  22.  
  23. Twilight Sparkle
  24. >immediately after the incident with Rainbow Dash, you head on over to Golden Oaks library to visit Twilight
  25. >"Oh hello Anon! How can I help you today?"
  26. >You offer to help her clean up the library, free of charge
  27. >"That'd be great, Anon! Spike's been visiting Rarity's boutique so much lately that he's been neglecting his cleaning duties...I can't even think straight with it being dirty like this..."
  28. >She invites you in and you follow her as she trots into the main room
  29. >You offer to get started on the floor first
  30. >"Oooh! Yes please! Let me go fetch the mop--"
  31. >You hold up a finger to stop her, and instead whip out the nozzle of the backpack vacuum, as if you're doing a budget cosplay of Luigi's Mansion
  32. >You wait for that sweet phrase as Twilight stares dumbfounded, purple eyes sparkling and vibrant with curiousity
  33. >"Wow. What's that?"
  34. >Oh yes
  35. >Click
  36. >VRMMMMMMmmmMMMmmmMMMMMMMMMMMM
  37. >You lose sight of the bookish little unicorn as she manages to jump into the air faster than your eyes can digest the information and send it to your brain
  38. >She almost touches the ceiling
  39. >She's so shocked she doesn't think to cushion her fall with magic, instead thumping down on her butt
  40. >"WUAHHH! AHHHHHHHH! AAASTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOPSTOPSTOP!"
  41. >VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRM
  42. >"D-DON'T COME CLOSER! N-NOOOO!!"
  43. >VRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMM
  44. >The unicorn's little horn exploded in purple brilliance, and she whips a book forth from the shelf, preparing to launch it in self-defense
  45. >You simply shove the vacuum towards her suddenly, and her tail shoots straight out as she flinches, the book dropping
  46. >She's finally hit that sweet spot of being to scared to even think straight, her voice failing, pupils dilated
  47. >You lift the vacuum and place it on her butt, the suction catching her fatty rear
  48. >She promptly wets the floor, passing out with an exasperated sigh
  49. >You were so going to the dungeons for this
  50.  
  51. Pinkie Pie
  52. >You knew it wouldn't be long before Rainbow Dash woke up from her vacuum-induced coma and flew into town to tell her friends/kick you ass
  53. >Time was of the essence here
  54. >You leave the library, powerwalking over the cobblestone street to your next destination
  55. >Sugarcube Corner
  56. >The frosty spires of the cookie wafer-constructed candy shop rises before you, and in the blink of an eye you're up the icing-laced staircase, entering through the store's perpetually-open doors
  57. >You ready your nozzle even though you don't see Pinkie yet
  58. >That bitch had a thing for surprising you by popping out when you least expected it
  59. >Not. Today.
  60. >You creep across the confetti-strewn floor, looking like Agent 47 on a mission at a Ghostbusters convention
  61. >Your nerves were on edge
  62. >It was too fucking quiet
  63. >A small ding comes from the bell on the counter, causing your body to freeze up and you to swing the nozzle around
  64. >Nothing there, just he glass countertop
  65. >Fuck thi--
  66. >"HEYA ANON!"
  67. >Pinkie's head sticks OUT OF THE VACUUM NOZZLE and grins maniacally at you as you fall backwards on your ass, swearing in every language you knew
  68. >"Hee hee! You always say those funny-sounding words when I give you one of my super-duper surprise greetings!"
  69. >THIS BITCH
  70. >She was gonna get it
  71. >She was gonna get it SO HARD
  72. >After admonishing her for almost giving you a heart attack, you set your plan into motion, gesturing to the messy floor
  73. >"Clean the floor? Why d'you wanna do that, anon? It's only gonna get messy again you know!"
  74. >You tell her it's a falling hazard, using what just happened as an example
  75. >"Oh no! I would never want anybody to get hurt because of my pretty party paper pieces! Go ahead!"
  76. >Without any further foolishness you produce the jet black nozzle from behind you, aiming it down towards the floor
  77. >Knowing how unpredictable Pinkie was, you weren't going to take any chances by half assing this
  78. >As Pinkie's head tilts and she brings her sickeningly cute face closer to the cleaning contraption, the Golden Question on the tip of her tongue, you lower your free hand to the Suction Level knob
  79. >Med
  80. >Med-Hi
  81. >Hi
  82. >MAX POWER
  83. >Pinkie looks down at the nozzle, staring at it intently
  84. >"Oooh oooh oooh! Whatcha got there, anon! Is it one of your weirdo human thingies?"
  85. >click
  86. >VRrRrRrRrRrRrRrRrRRRRRVVVVVVVVVMMMM
  87. >Pinkie yelps out loud in pure terror, actually standing up on her hindlegs and shielding her face like a human would
  88. >Her poofy pink tail curls between her hindlegs
  89. >Her squeals of fright were so loud and high-pitched they actually hurt your ears a bit
  90. >Still, a job was a job
  91. >You began to aggressively move towards her, waving the vacuum back and forth like a flame thrower
  92. >"AIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! ANON NO! NOnononONONONO! IT'S GONNA EAT MEEE! IIIIIIIIITTTS GONNA EEEEEEEAAAAAT MEEEEEEEEE!!!"
  93. >You back her up against the store's back wall, jars of multi-colored rock bandy clinking and wobbling as her back hits them
  94. >She was petrified, eyes wide and mouth fully grimaced, her chest rising and falling rapidly
  95. >Not so funny now was it, you crack-snorting candyslut
  96. >Time for the finishing blow
  97. >"A...a-anon...please. st-stop. f-for me? I-I won't..sc-sc-scare you again...I p-promise...I..d-d-...d-dont hurt me...pl-please"
  98. >Fuck
  99. >Those big, teary eyes almost made you stop
  100. >Almost
  101. >Why contain it?
  102. >You shove the vacuum towards her face, the suction quickly snatching her hair and yanking it towards you
  103. >VRRRMMSHWUNKTTTHHHHHHHHH
  104. >On cue, she her bladder empties itself down her shivering legs as she cries in terror, tail soaked in her own pink lemonade
  105. >You pull the vacuum towards you until her hair is entirely straight, and then shut the vacuum off
  106. >She falls forward, KO'd and in a pool of piss and confetti
  107. >Pop pop pop
  108. >watching ponies drop
  109.  
  110. Rarity
  111. >You make a hasty exit from Sugarcube Corner, almost breaking your ankle tripping down the frosted stairs in the process
  112. >It was time get your Oreck-fueled jimmies off on another pone before Celestia herself personally came and shut you the fuck down
  113. >Continuing on in the pattern of traveling to whatever destination was nearest to save time, you began to jog towards Rarity's circus-like boutique, stopping on her doorstep to catch your breath for a moment
  114. >Running with this big-ass appliance on your back was really taking the wind out of you, you probably shouldn't have slacked off in gym class so much
  115. >You'd tap X instead of holding it down while running from now on
  116. >Straightening up and exhaling curtly one final time, you knocked on the door, hoping you didn't look too disheveled for her tastes
  117. >The door swings open almost immediately
  118. >....nobody was there
  119. >Literally, the door must have been opened by a fucking ghost
  120. >Just as you were about to NOPE out, you actually took the time to look down, spotting a little purple baby dragon glaring back up at you
  121. >"What are YOU doing here?"
  122. >Oh no
  123. >Not this little nigger
  124. >just as you were about to reciprocate his heated question, the sound of Rarity's ladylike voice wafts through the air, interrupting your thoughts
  125. >"Spiiike, darling...who is it at the door?"
  126. >"....anon."
  127. >"What was that, dear? Anon...oh Anon~?! Really? Well don't just stand there, let him in!"
  128. >Spike rolls his eyes, but steps aside, allowing you to enter
  129. >That's right faget, stay salty
  130. >You stroll in with a smile to find the pale white fashionista busy with a massive, glittery garment, various pins, baubles, and strings flying around her in a slow-moving whirlwind of magical activity
  131. >It was beautiful
  132. >"Hello anon, daarling...how may I, Rarity be of service today?"
  133. >Welp, time to fuck shit up.
  134. >As the gears of your brain began to spin and churn, a very disgruntled Spike stomps back into the room, immediately taking up a semi-defensive stance near Rarity's hooves
  135. >This little faggot wasn't going to make things easy
  136. >Then again, neither was Rarity
  137. >Her entire home was immaculately clean. Pure, flawless, unstained by such common things like dirt and clutter.
  138. >Just like her
  139. >Shit
  140. >Looks like you'd have to make your own mess
  141. >You began to engage Rarity in light conversation, casually leaning against one of her tables, this one in particular carrying various jars of glitter on it's surface
  142. >You waited calmly for the 99-second ALERT timer on Spike to reach zero, and when he finally took his eyes off of you, you bumped one of the jars off of the table with your hip
  143. >Glitter went flying fucking EVERYWHERE
  144. >"Anooon, how could you! That's my finest jar of Shirley's Golden Glitter! Now it's all over the floor...it's RUINED! Spike, be a dear and fetch my broom from upstairs, would you?"
  145. >Instead of interrupting him, you actually allow him to scurry upstairs
  146. >Rarity was finally wide open
  147. >As she looked glumly at the spilled glitter, lowering the garment held in her magic a bit, you offered an apology and an alternative way to clean it up
  148. >"Oh no no no, anon. While I do appreciate the chivalry, I would never allow a guest to do such a thing."
  149. >Fuck, Spike would be back any moment. You had to act now.
  150. >You pulled out the vacuum, and insisted on being allowed to clean it up. You had to test out a new invention anyway, to see how it worked!
  151. >"Well...I suppose you COULD clean up a teensy bit of it..."
  152. >Aw yeah. You brought the vacuum out, and settled it on the floor.
  153. >"Oh dear...what IS that awful-looking contraption?"
  154. >Every time
  155. >click
  156. >VRUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
  157. >The startled seamstress leaped backwards, not quite reaching Twilight's high score but almost, a shrill scream erupting from her so loudly that it actually drowned out the vacuum for a second
  158. >"WAH-HA-HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!"
  159. >The pins and string that she had been keeping magically afloat shuddered in midair and then exploded outwards in a nuclear explosion of flying fashion fragments, zipping through the air like deadly ninja stars
  160. >It was at this moment Spike decided to rush down the stairs, happily carrying the broom
  161. >A fat spool of red string slammed directly into his stomach, knocking him against the wall and emptying all the wind out of his body
  162. >Rarity would have turned in concern for his well-being, were she not herself frightened out of her fucking mind
  163. >She wasn't even saying words anymore, just uttering gibberish as the vacuum made it's unstoppable approach
  164. >Her dainty mascara ran down her face in dark streams, tears soaking once pure white cheeks
  165. >She was on her back, crawling away from the vacuum, pricking herself with the pins that had fallen haphazardly to the floor
  166. >Finally she had backed herself up against her favorite giant mirror, the vacuum roaring right at her quivering hindlegs
  167. >"A-anon.....y-you....you wouldn't h-hurt a lady, w-w-would you?"
  168. >No. Of course not, you informed her.
  169. >She sighed shakily, visibly relieved
  170. >You're not a lady though. You'se a pony, bitch.
  171. >Her eyes shrunk to dots
  172. >"N-no....D-DON'T!!!"
  173. >FINISH HER
  174. >You scooted backwards twice, then forward, ducked three times, and did two jabs
  175. >The lighting in the boutique goes pitch black as reality accepts the fatality combination
  176. >The vacuum nozzle lunges forward, locking onto her crotch, her hooves going into the air as she utters a screech so high-pitched it shatters the mirror behind her
  177. >The suction of the vac latches onto her just as she empties her bladder, the contraption literally sucking the piss out of her cunt and into the pack on your back
  178. >Luckily this model could handle drink spills as well, as Seen On TV
  179. >SHHHHHHHLUUUKUKUKUKUKRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPTH
  180. >Her entire body straightens out and arches with one final whimpering squeal, and then she falls limp
  181. >Spike groggily wakes up to see you standing over her, vacuum nozzle dripping piss down onto her belly
  182. >Suffice to say, that niggas mad as FUCK
  183. >He leaps at you in rage, but you think quickly, still on an adrenaline high from demolishing Rarity
  184. >You sweep the nozzle up just in time to catch him in it's suction.
  185. >His little belly gets stuck on the tip, arms and legs flailing uselessly
  186. >You reach back and flip a switch, aiming the nozzle at an open window
  187. >REVERSE
  188. >Witnesses would later befuddle royal investigators by all claiming to have seen a small dragon flying over ponyville on a rainbow blast of urine, screaming anon's name at the top of his lungs
  189.  
  190. Fluttershy
  191. >Well, you were past the point of no return now
  192. >It was time to finish the job
  193. >This next one should be a piece of cake
  194. >It'd be like a break before the final boss battle
  195. >No time to lollygag now, Rainbow was surely up and about once again
  196. >You exited Rarity's boutique through the same window you shot Spike out of, and ran across the fields along the outskirts of town
  197. >By the time you reached the stone bridge leading to Fluttershy's cottage you were entirely out of breath
  198. >You were forced to walk slowly up the woodland path to her door, or risk catching a heart attack while trying to make Fluttershy have one
  199. >You knocked the nozzle of the vacuum on her door, gasping softly
  200. >After a few minutes, the door opens just a tiny crack, a quivering teal eye staring up at you
  201. >"H-hello? Oh! An...Anon...come in!"
  202. >The door creaks open slowly, and you stagger inside, still trying to refill your lungs
  203. >You immediately crash onto her reclining couch, leaning back
  204. >Fluttershy swiftly swoops over you like a worried mother, her big eyes full of sincere worry
  205. >"Oh my! Anonymous are you alright? D-do you need something to drink? A wet towel? A blanket? Oh dear, oh dear!"
  206. >You hold up a hand, silencing her hushed words
  207. >You assure her that you're okay, just tired
  208. >She calms down some, but only a little, still fluttering about you nervously
  209. >As she goes to fetch a cup of water, you notice her floor is covered in animal crap
  210. >It smells, but thankfully it's old enough that the stink has diminished some
  211. >When she returns, you offer to clean it up with your new contraption
  212. >"O-oh! Well, y-you can, if you really want to...I mean, i-it's no problem at all. Please, b-be my guest."
  213. >God, that stutter was getting annoying
  214. >Unfortunately, it was about to get a whole lot worse
  215. >With the glass of water in one hand, you bring forth that great destroyer of worlds, the solid black vacuum nozzle
  216. >Fluttershy instinctively shudders at the sight of it, her body beginning to involuntary shiver
  217. >Man, this shit wasn't even fair
  218. >What a shame
  219. >It doesn't look she's going to ask the question though, she's just standing there, trying not to look too hard at it
  220. >You beckon for her to come closer. You want her to see how it works
  221. >You tell her it's just like a big scooper fish or some bullshit, and she buys it, coming close, face still half-hidden behind her pink mane
  222. >"um anon...are you su--"
  223. >click
  224. >VRRRRVRRRVRRRVRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMMM
  225. >The only way you would have ever been able to tell that a pegasus pony existed in the spot Fluttershy had been standing in would be the handful of yellow feathers left behind on the ground
  226. >She was now glued to the ceiling, shrieking her brains out, already weeping uncontrollably
  227. >"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKK--*"
  228. >Her voice gave out after only a second or so, her wings freezing up and her body falling onto the couch on her back
  229. >She promptly emptied both her bowels and her bladder messily over the floor, the stream of piss shooting clean across the living room while a fresh load of crap was added to the animal droppings on the floorboards
  230. >She didn't quite pass out, so much as she fucking expired right then and there, her heart stopping and her eyes rolling into the back of her head, mouth dripping with frothing bubbles
  231. >For a second you were actually afraid she had suffered cardiac arrest, rushing to put your ear on her chest
  232. >Her heartbeat was still going strong, thankfully, although it was beating so hard it put Sonic to shame
  233. >Well, that was easy
  234. >Angel sticks his head out of a cupboard, frightened by the sudden noise
  235. >He sees you, then looks to Fluttershy, and NOPES right out
  236. >Smart rabbit
  237.  
  238. Applejack
  239. >You quietly creep out of Fluttershy's cottage after the shit-spewing debacle, taking a shortcut down the small cliff that lay at the rear of her home
  240. >Only one pone left
  241. >This one would be the toughest, no doubt
  242. >But the payoff would be more than worth it
  243. >Without any fucking around, you began to trek directly towards the large tree-lined hill in the distance, stomping across the waist-length grass that grew all around you
  244. >Thankfully it was pretty much a straight-shot, just grass and sky inbetween you and Sweet Apple Acres
  245. >You were doing good so far, maybe you could relax a little...
  246. >BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!
  247. >Holy fucking shit, what was that
  248. >You look up just in time to see a surreal rainbow scatter across the sky, it's center somewhere in Ponyville
  249. >A sonic rainboom
  250. >That could only mean one thing
  251. >Rainbow was up
  252. >And she was MAD
  253. >Your available time suddenly went to single digits
  254. >You break out into a dead sprint, the theme song of 28 Weeks Later beginning to drift into the air
  255. >When you reach the fence separating Sweet Apple Acres from the rest of the countryside, you parkour that shit like it's a waist-high wall in Mirror's Edge
  256. >From there it doesn't take longer to reach the barn, it's large, thick door wide open, indicating someone was inside
  257. >Hopefully not Big Mac
  258. >You stagger inside, at the limit of your endurance, wheezing like the dead man you're soon about to be
  259. >An unassuming orange earth pony mare turns around to greet you, familiar brown hat tipped back on her sandy blonde hair
  260. >"Howdy there, Anon! Haven't seen you 'round these parts in a while! Whut brings y'all down to th' farm?"
  261. >Endgame engage.
  262. >You try to hide the fact that you're so tuckered that you're using the vacuum pole as a crutch at this point, playing it off like it's a classy pimp cane
  263. >You tell her Twilight sent you to offer some help with the day's chores, knowing that AJ has had problems with refusing help in the past
  264. >The country mare falls for it hook line and sinker, not wanting to repeat the stubbornness that got her into trouble in the past
  265. >"Why that sounds jus' fine, sugarcube. Ah could actually use a hoof...er...hand with th' mess in here."
  266. >Things were moving smoothly
  267. >You might just make it out of this after all
  268. >You show her the vacuum, telling her that it's a quiet cleaning machine
  269. >"Shucks, ah don't know much about fancy machinery, sweetheart. Ah'll just take yer word for it!"
  270. >You smile
  271. >click
  272. >....
  273. >....
  274. >Nothing happens
  275. >"Uhh...what's th' problem pardner? Yer contraption ain't workin' right? Here, lemme take a look see...maybe ya jus' need to knock it around a bit...that usually works"
  276. >She sticks her face right against the nozzle
  277. >SHE FELL FOR LE EPIK RUSE
  278. >click
  279. >VRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
  280. >The powerful mare, headstrong mare twists and shouts, tripping over her own hooves in order to get away from the blaring noise of the mighty vacuum
  281. >Her hat falls off in the proccess, getting sucked up with an unholy siphoning noise
  282. >"WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAHHHH NELLY!!! WHUT IN SWEET TARNATION!?"
  283. >She instinctively turns around, and sends her hindlegs rocketing towards your torso faster than you can react
  284. >Fortunately you didn't have to, as the vacuum pipe was in the way
  285. >It buckled like a plastic drinking straw, absorbing most of the blow of the hard buck.
  286. >Shit, it was useless now
  287.  
  288. >Agility Mode:Activate
  289. >This model was made to be packed up and cleaned easily, praise the gods
  290. >You simply detach the fucked up nozzle, tossing it to the side and instead hold the pipe, lunging for her head
  291. >She turns away, screaming out all kinds of earth pony obscenities
  292. >the pipe snatches her ear, and she locks up in terror, her Fight or Flight instincts finally tipping over to Flight
  293. >SHWUNKTTHTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
  294. >You pin her down on her side and let the vacuum simply leer at the side of her face with her ear inside, roaring incessantly
  295. >She snaps, the noise too much for her pony brain to process
  296. >She begins to sob in a big, pathetic drawling tone, special-made Applejack cider flooding the inside of her hindlegs, puddling on the floor
  297. >Mission Complete
  298. >"THERE HE IS! ANON, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN!?"
  299. >Wha?
  300. >You look up to see Rainbow Dash and Twilight breathlessly staring at you
  301. >Might as well go all out
  302. >You get up off of the sobbing Applejack and go for the two of them, grinning like a madman
  303. >Twilight teleports out of the way, Rainbow Dash swooping up high
  304. >"Anon, why are you doing this!? I thought we were pals!"
  305. >Twilight reappears in a flash a few feet away
  306. >Rainbow keeps her distance above
  307. >They're still too scared to come near the vacuum
  308. >Maybe you could try to make a quick run for it...
  309. >You turn towards the open barn door, beginning to sprint towards freedom
  310. >A bright flare of searing light knocks you off of your feet, your elbow hitting the off switch on the vacuum
  311. >You struggle to sit up on your elbows, the light fading
  312. >Sweet mother of God.
  313. >A pale, ethereal alicorn with a mane comprised of the very essence of the cosmos itself stands before you
  314. >She's not happy.
  315. >"ANON. THIS ENDS. NOW."
  316.  
  317. Celestia
  318. >Any thoughts you had of trying to be a hero disappear real fucking fast once you see that seething magenta glare
  319. >Now it was your turn to be terrified out of your mind
  320. >No
  321. >You're not getting captured here
  322. >It can't end like this
  323. >You begin to scramble away, turning onto your belly, crawling and scrabbling like a worm away from her holy light
  324. >How the mighty have fallen
  325. >Somehow, you're not dead yet
  326. >Maybe she would be lenient
  327. >You get to your feet and try to run
  328. >Bad move
  329. >The god-like Princess blasts you in the back with a fiery zap of ancient magic, sending you flying across the barn
  330. >Your spine feels like it's on fire.
  331. >You vacuum took the hit for you, it's final act
  332. >it's toast now
  333. >You roll onto your back, groaning in pain
  334. >Celestia's already standing over you, her golden horseshoes pinning your shoulders
  335. >"Do you have anything left to say for yourself, Anonymous?"
  336. >Her horns begins to glow
  337. >This is it
  338. >Only one thing left to do
  339. >You flick the vacuum switch to on
  340. >hopefully it'll explode and give you a swift death
  341. >click
  342. >It explodes
  343. >An explosion of sound
  344.  
  345.  
  346. >Celestia, in all her ancient wisdom could have never predictated what would happen when an ordinary vacuum cleaner was infused with Alicorn magic
  347. >The sheer wall of noise generated by the supercharged machine was enough to knock her off of her hooves, flinging her body across the ground like it was a little girl's toy
  348. >You rose to your feet, entire body roaring with the sound of hellish steel and unholy suction
  349. >You had become vacuum, destroyer of dirt
  350. >Celestia looked up at you, feeling something she hadn't felt in eons
  351. >fear
  352. >With her hindlegs spread and trembling, she emptied her bladder in a clear ribbon of gold, the warm stream splashing across your pants
  353. >You lowered yourself over her
  354. >your lips hovered before her ear
  355. "Wu-Tang ain't nuthin' to fuck with."
  356.  
  357. >after spouting that horrible endgame quote ripped directly from a bad Dave Chappelle skit, you jam the end of the vacuum pipe directly into her pale marehood, capturing the last of her priceless fluids in the pack on your back
  358. >Even with her mental fortitude, the sensation of the suction she inadverdantly created causes her to faint, galactic mane going flat for the first time in a millenium
  359. >The sight of this makes Twilight pass out yet again, but Rainbow Dash tries one last attack
  360. >you lift a finger, and the air itself coalesces to your will, forming a wall of pressure that she slams into like a car windshield
  361. >"You monster, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THE PRINCESS!?"
  362. >You chuckle and aim the nozzle of the glowing vacuum at her
  363. >The sight of it alone is now enough to make the brash pegasus lose control of herself all over her blue thighs
  364. >She doesn't say anything after that
  365. >You drop her to the ground to stew in her own waste, and she glares up at you
  366. >"Just......why?"
  367. >Instead of telling her that you like scaring the fuck out of ponies and making them wet the floor you just stare back, and then begin to walk away
  368. >The night was just starting
  369. >Ponyville was yours now
  370. >You wouldn't rest until you had frightened every single pony in town
  371. >After that, who knows
  372. >You turn the switch on your vacuum one final time, and the cacophony finally dies down to nothing
  373. >As you travel down the road into the softly glowing night-time town the haunting, murky guitar of Nirvana's "Come As You Are" begins to float up, camera panning to the stars
  374. >The End
  375. >Directed by 4chan
  376. >Starring Anon as Anonymous

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