Rape Shelter: 22nd


                                            >22nd.

                                            >The sounds of casual conversation passed your hearing, arousing you from your slumber.

                                            >There's always something funny about waking up.

                                            >That wonderful groggy feeling you get where you're a little woozy .

                                            >Which is funny, because you don't feel like that right now at all.

                                            >As a matter of fact, you feel exceptionally well rested.

                                            >It's enough to make you want to jump out of bed.

                                            >"A-Anon, don't move so much!"

                                            >You looked up to see Twi and Redheart staring at you like you're crazy.

                                            >Twi had called out to you, urging you not to get out of bed.

                                            >"Anonymous, please, lay still so I can-" Redheart began to speak, before you interjected.

                                            "What?"

                                            >"Your injury! Twilight said you could hardly stand last night because of it!"

                                            "Yeah, but it doesn't hurt at all right now. In fact..."

                                            >"That doesn't mean you should just-" Twi continued on, but stopped when you hopped out of bed.

                                            "I feel... fine! Great, even!"

                                            >"T-Twilight, scan Anonymous for me, if you would."

                                            >"I-I'm on it!"

                                            >Twilight's magic ran over your body like one of those scanners in a sci-fi movie.

                                            >"Seriously, Anon. As much pain as you were in last night, you should know better than to..."

                                            "Better than to what?"

                                            >"Uhh..."

                                            >"What do you see, Twilight?"

                                            >"Well, I expected to see some fractures in his ribs, or maybe some swelling..."

                                            >"...And I do, but it's so insignificant that he may as well not be injured!"

                                            >"In fact, his bones are... they're healing themselves!"

                                            >"H-Healing themselves? What do you mean, Twilight?"

                                            >"It's hard to see because of how small it is, but the fractures are... stitching themselves?"

                                            >Twilight finished that sentence with a curious tone, and she sounds just as bewildered as Redheart.

                                            >"Stitching? By Celestia, just what are you seeing in there?"


                                            "I tried to tell you two!"

                                            "When I woke up, I felt incredible! Like Fluttershy never tackled me in the first place!"

                                            "It was mostly in my left rib, but now, there's no pain, no discomfort, nothing!"

                                            "Here, let me prove it..."

                                            >You raised your right hand, beating it against your chest.

                                            "See?"

                                            >"Twilight, no offense, but... did you bring me to a patient that can heal themselves?"

                                            >"I-I didn't mean to! He's never displayed any kind of... whatever this is!"

                                            >Twilight went full on nerd mode; You could feel her magic focusing on your chest.

                                            >"Do y'all have some kind of weird human power that ya' haven't told us about?"

                                            >A familiar voice, one belonging to a particular farm horse, sounded from outside Twi's room.

                                            "AJ?"

                                            >Twi's door swung fully open, and in came the rest of the Mane 6, including Spike.

                                            >"Hiya, Nonny!"

                                            >Pinkie was hopping about as she usually would, so it's nice to see that she's feeling better.

                                            >"H-Hi, Anon. Thank goodness you're feeling better... I think." Fluttershy sounded very, very pleased.

                                            >The guilt Fluttershy felt from what happened last night sounds like it's already out the door.

                                            >"And here I was, thinking you'd be a mess this morning. Good to see you, Anonymous."

                                            "Hey, Rarity. And no, unfortunately, you don't get to see me at my lowest point today."

                                            >"I was under the impression your little mishap in Manehattan was your lowest point."

                                            "SSHHHH! SSHH! Don't say anything about that! Remember our deal?"

                                            >"How could I ever forget? You were-"

                                            "Rarity."

                                            >"What? I'm a lady of my word! A deal is a deal."

                                            "I've got my eyes on you, you uppity little horse..."

                                            >"We didn't wanna' disturb y'all, so we were just hangin' out in the hallway, listenin'."

                                            >"Fluttershy kept us busy explainin' what even happened yesterday in the first place."

                                            >"There's nothing TO disturb now! Anon here already healed himself in his sleep! I can't believe it!"

                                            >Twi pointed a hoof at you, still ecstatic from this new discovery.

                                            >Spike and Rainbow approached you, looking over your form.


                                            >"He... definitely looks healthy. You should have seen him last night, Redheart." Spike noted.

                                            >"Yeah, you were whining and crying like a baby last night, weren't you, bro?"

                                            >Rainbow was laughing her flank off, flying upside down and crying tears of unabashed elation.

                                            "Bullshit."

                                            >"Trust me, whatever Fluttershy did to him yesterday, it was bad enough that he couldn't even get up..."

                                            >"...So, how'd ya' do it, Anon? Come on, tell us!" Rainbow continued, flying up to you.

                                            "No clue, bro."

                                            >"Huh? Whaddaya' mean, no clue?" Rainbow got in your face, eyeing you as if she were suspicious.

                                            >"You sounded fairly confident that you were healed, even with a lack of pain in mind." Redheart added.

                                            "All I know is that it felt... natural. Like there was something telling me I was fine."

                                            "I woke up feeling like a million bits! Don't think I've ever had such a good rest before."

                                            >"You'd better apologize to Nurse Redheart, bro. She came here for nothing." Spike said, giving you a sly look.

                                            >"No, it's quite alright. I'm... more shocked than anything, and at least this ended my boredom!"

                                            >Redheart giggled, sitting on her hooves in front of you.

                                            >"Is it safe to assume you'll be able to handle things from here, Anonymous?"

                                            "Y-Yeah. Seems like I've got healing powers, apparently."

                                            >When you were younger, you had a hard time hiding your attraction from female doctors.

                                            >That hasn't changed at all, even in Horse World(TM).

                                            >There's something about her bright, crystal blue eyes, white coat, and pink mane.

                                            >It's such a beautiful combination of colors.

                                            >"Well, in that case, I'll take my leave. Make sure he stays safe, okay, girls?"

                                            >"Leave it to us! We'll watch him, 24/7!" Rainbow exclaimed, following Nurse Redheart to the door.

                                            >"Oh, and Fluttershy, too! No offense."

                                            >"It's okay..." Fluttershy cantered over to your side, rubbing against your leg.

                                            >"I remember when I was in love..." Rarity sighed, sounding like she was travelling down memory lane.

                                            "Whoa, now. Don't get it twisted. Fluttershy and I are friends."

                                            "Okay? F-r-i-e-n-d-s."


                                            >"Would you like me to help you plan your next date together?"

                                            >"Y-Yes." Fluttershy quickly spoke, jumping at the chance to be associated with you in such a way.

                                            "I swear, you're just as bad as Twilight, Rara."

                                            >"Is that any way to speak in front of a lady, Anonymous?"

                                            "Being female won't save you from my judgement, I'm afraid."

                                            >Speaking of Grand Autismo, she was stifling laughter, as usual.

                                            "Celestia, help me..."

                                            >"I've got another errand to take care of before our lunch, so I'll see you at Wendigo's later, bro."

                                            >"Twilight is probably gonna' spend the next hour dissecting you, and I don't wanna' see that."

                                            "Later, Dash."

                                            >"I-I actually do want to see-"

                                            "No. You're not dissecting me. Especially not while you're a giggling mess."

                                            >"But-"

                                            "I said no. Bad Twilight. Bad."

                                            >"You never let me have any fun, Anon."

                                            "Keep telling yourself that."

                                            >"A-Actually, if everypony doesn't mind, I wanted to talk to Nonny-Wonny about something..."

                                            >"Oh! Of course, go ahead, Pinkie!" Twilight finally stopped teasing you long enough to change the subject.

                                            >She yawned, the surprise of the situation beginning to wear off, as the urge to sleep crept up on her.

                                            >"I'm gonna' go nap in the library, if you don't mind."

                                            "Go right ahead, Twi. I'd be mad if you tried to stay up even longer than you already have."

                                            "And you'd better not start rummaging through books trying to figure out what's going on with me."

                                            "Get some sleep. We'll start doing all of that research later. Not now.

                                            >"H-How did you know I was going to-"

                                            "You think you're smart, Ms. Sparkle, but I'm always two steps ahead of you. Now go beddy-bye."

                                            >"Fine. Sleep first, research later. I promise."

                                            >"I'll see you later, bro!" Spike ran out the door with Twilight, waving goodbye to you for now.

                                            >Ponko's face seemed bright and cheery, but her voice conveyed a different tone, enough for you to pick up on it.

                                            >Also, Pinkie calling you "Nonny-Wonny" gave you flashbacks to the dream, causing you to shiver.

                                            >The mere thought of that horrible experience strikes you like cold wind every single time.

                                            >"Just don't break him when you're finished, okay?" Rarity teased, taking her prim and proper leave.

                                            >From what you can tell, Rarity doesn't seem to have as much interest in you as Twilight does.

                                            >Even so, she'll still tease the absolute shit out of you.

                                            "Out! Chop-chop! You heard the mare!"

                                            "That includes you, Fluttershy."

                                            >"Eep!"

                                            >Her signature "eep" sound escaped her lips, implying she was lost in wonderland rubbing against you.

                                            >Of course, she went right back to it, not that you expected anything different.


                                            >"I'll catch y'all later, Anonymous. Stay out of trouble, y'hear? Healin', or no healin'."

                                            >"I want ya' alive for our next cider session."

                                            "Will do! And uhh... I won't miss the session like I did last time."

                                            >"Don't break a promise to a farmgirl, Anon. I'll hold ya' to that."

                                            >"And if y'all could refrain from goin' crazy on Anon again, that'd be swell, Fluttershy."

                                            >"Eep!" Fluttershy ceased her leg nuzzling in response to AJ's words.

                                            >"By the way, Anonymous, I left a little somethin' for ya' in your fridge. Don't ask how I got in your house."

                                            "It would have been less suspicious if you stopped after the first sentence."

                                            >"That ain't how you show gratitude, partner."

                                            "Where I come from, free food is a pretty big deal, so I'll give you a real thanks later, alright?"

                                            >"Y'all don't have to do that, but I guess I'll look forward to it."

                                            >"Gotta' get back to the farm now."

                                            "Bye, AJ. Now..."

                                            >Looking down at Fluttershy, you gave her a nudge towards the door.

                                            >Your hands pushed at her flank, and it sounded like she came right then and there.

                                            >"A-Anon! Do t-that aga-"

                                            "Get the fuck out, you small yellow equine."

                                            >"F-Fuck me."

                                            >You bent over, picked up the inappropriate horse, and carried her out of the room.

                                            "C'mon, Fluttershy. I'll talk to you later. In fact, just wait outside."

                                            "And please, don't listen in on the conversation. Pinkie would be upset."

                                            >"O-Ok..."

                                            >After dropping Peanut Flutter Cups on her ass in the hallway, you closed the door to Twi's room.

                                            "Alright, tell it to me straight, Pinks."

                                            "What's on your mind?"

                                            >"Gee, you don't waste time, do ya', Nonny?"

                                            "I mean, after the way you were acting two days ago, I'm still a little concerned."

                                            "You seemed fine this morning, but I was still ready to sit down and ask you myself."

                                            >"Y-Yeah. It's about... Fluttershy. Sort of."

                                            "You and her still haven't had the chance to talk that out, huh?"

                                            >"That's the thing... Umm... I mayyyybe sorta... kinda'..."

                                            "...Have been avoiding her?"

                                            >Pinkie looked you right in the eyes, before averting her gaze towards the ground.

                                            "Now, why is a pony like you avoiding a chat with her friend?"

                                            "She didn't exactly mean to do that to you, Pinks. You know that, right?"

                                            >"I-I know! It's just... well, normally I would have told her what I felt by now!"

                                            "There's something else, isn't there? I can tell."

                                            "Why don't you start by opening up to me about it all?"


                                            >Pinkie, in reaction to you asking her to open up, suddenly had a case of the Sniffles(TM).

                                            >Her eyes were teary, and you could tell the floodgates were about to open.

                                            "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Pinkie!"

                                            >You rushed to her side, kneeled down at her height, and did what you do best.

                                            >Listening to your friends' problems.

                                            >Well, recently, anyway.

                                            >"S-She w-w-would come by e-every day, a-a-and tell me it's t-time to fuck, and..."

                                            >"...I didn't wanna' tell her n-no! If I did, she got AAAAAANGRYYYY!"

                                            >And there go the waterworks.

                                            >She was crying a literal river of tears, and you immediately hugged her to calm her down.

                                            >A few more minutes of tears like that, and Twi's room would get flooded.

                                            >You rocked back and forth with Ponka in your arms, rubbing the back of her head.

                                            "And then what happened?"

                                            >"T-Then, s-she didn't come by the day you all w-went to Taco Del P-Pone!"

                                            >"B-B-B-But the worst part was when I told her I was in l-love with somepony, and s-she didn't stop!"

                                            >"I-I told her, I wanted to s-save myself for them, but..."

                                            >Holy shit.

                                            "Y-You're in love? Jesus, Pinks."

                                            "Let it all out. I'll have to dry off before lunch, but that's okay."

                                            "None of that is going to happen again, okay? Fluttershy is sorry about what happened."

                                            "And another thing, I know how that feels, Pinkie."

                                            >By this point, she was softly weeping, which is a million times better than the waterfall of tears.

                                            "I had my virginity taken by somepony I wasn't planning on losing it to, as well."

                                            >"Y-You did? W-Was it Fluttershy?"

                                            "Ehh... close, but not quite.

                                            >That accomplishment belongs to dream AJ, and even though she wasn't real, it felt like it.

                                            "But anyways, to get my mind off of it, I just think about how great it'll be after I..."

                                            "...Y'know, have that experience with somepony I actually intended to have it with."

                                            "Somepony I like, or really just... somepony who isn't trying to rape me, honestly."

                                            "You lose your virginity twice, Ponka. Once physically, twice emotionally."

                                            "That's what I think, at least."

                                            >"You... always seem to know what to say, Anon."

                                            "I'm a fucking genius. Duh."

                                            >You shook her around a bit, ruffling her mane with your comforting monkey hands.

                                            "It might be a bit much, so don't worry about telling the others so soon if you can't handle it."

                                            "I didn't even know about the whole being in love, and saving yourself part..."

                                            >"N-No problem, Anon. I'm just glad that you listened to me. It makes me really, really happy."

                                            >Pinkie stared into your eyes with a great deal of appreciation, and something else.

                                            >Something else that you couldn't place your finger on, but it was intense.

                                            >A sense of longing, maybe?


                                            "Anytime, Pinks. I mean it. If it starts bothering you again, come to me right away."

                                            "Just do me a favor, okay?"

                                            >"What's that, Nonny?"

                                            "You've gotta' talk it out with Fluttershy, okay? One on one."

                                            "I'm glad telling me about it helped, but you've gotta' nip this in the bud."

                                            "Otherwise, it's going to be really fucking awkward whenever you're around her."

                                            >"I-I will. I'll talk to her right after this."

                                            "Good girl."

                                            >As you continued to pet Ponko, she started nuzzling against your hands.

                                            >She's being extra affectionate today, but it's probably just because of the moment.

                                            "By the way, do you think you could tell me who you've got the hots for? If it's not too much."

                                            "Maybe it'll help get more of that stuff off your chest."

                                            >"O-Oh! Uhh... I'll tell you another day, Nonny!"

                                            >"You'll be the first pony... err... human that I tell!"

                                            "As long as you don't feel like you have to, that's fine by me. I'd love to hear who it is."

                                            "Now, begone with you, Oh Pink One! I shall speak with you another time."

                                            >"Right away, your monkey-ness!"

                                            >Monkey-ness?

                                            >Pinkie hopped her way out of Twi's room, and the door magically swung open to let her out.

                                            >You swear you'll never understand that horse.

                                            >With that out of the way for now, you thought about what to do next.

                                            >After all, you're just sitting in here by yourself.

                                            >You woke up a little too late for breakfast, so really, all there is to do is wait until lunch.

                                            >Your thoughts returned to your newfound healing abilities, and what they might mean for the future.

                                            >Perhaps you can use it on others, too.

                                            >The conversation you had with Celestia a while ago cropped up in your mind.

                                            >She said you had a gift of some kind, whatever that may be.

                                            >But now, if this is what she was talking about, that gift is beginning to unfold.

                                            >Looks like you're due to have another chat with her pretty soon, so you can make sense of it.

                                            >Either way, you've still gotta' think of something to do after lunch.

                                            >This is just how your brain works; You always try to keep yourself busy ahead of time.

                                            >Perhaps you can pick up Sassy for dinner or something.

                                            >Hell, Lyra can join in on that, too.

                                            >As you left, Fluttershy and Pinkie weren't in the hallway, and probably took their conversation elsewhere.

                                            >Now that you've got the rest of your day semi-filled out, you headed to Wendigo's, feeling refreshed.


                                            >Looking up the night sky, you exhaled a heavy breath, your back to the wall of Taco Del Pone.

                                            >You were right beside the backdoor, waiting for one pony in particular to get off work.

                                            >It'd be funny if you stood outside to surprise Sassy as she clocked out.

                                            >To you, anyway.

                                            >She probably wouldn't find it very humorous at all, but that's what makes it hilarious.

                                            >It would've been a little lonely outside, were it not for a particular mint-colored horse.

                                            >"Whatcha' thinking about, Anon?" Lyra asked, her eyes glued to your hands.

                                            >Taking your eyes off of her for too long meant getting drool on your fingers, so you remained watchful.

                                            "The future. What I'm going to do next. Stuff like that."

                                            "Today had a lot of surprises."

                                            "For one, Rainbow told me she might be winning The Flier of the Year award."

                                            "I wouldn't know exactly how big, but apparently that's a huge deal."

                                            >"Tell her I said congratulations! You should, like, have a party for her!"

                                            "Already planning on that, don't worry. And you're invited, by the way."

                                            >"I'd be upset if you didn't let me join in."

                                            >"By the way, can I just say... you're really attractive, Anon."

                                            "Wow. I never would have guessed. Even though you always tell me that."

                                            >"No, seriously! Especially when you're deep in thought like that."

                                            >"It makes you look... mysterious. And cool. And sexy."

                                            "One of these days, I'm telling Bon Bon some of the things you say to me."

                                            >"She's not a filly; She can handle it."

                                            "Maybe some of the things you've DONE to me, too..."

                                            >"O-Okay, you don't have to go that far."

                                            "Yeah, that's what I thought."

                                            >Just then, the backdoor swung open, further than you expected it to.

                                            >Cold metal made harsh contact with your face, knocking you right in the nose.

                                            "FUCK-"

                                            >"A-Anon! Are you okay? Let me see..."

                                            >Lyra inspected your face, checking to make sure that door didn't just destroy your nose.

                                            >"Whew. You'll be fine."

                                            >Even if it did, you'd probably just heal it off.


                                            >"Had a feeling you'd be back here."

                                            >You knew it was Sassy who opened the door, but you weren't expecting her to say that.

                                            "H-How? Also, why'd you open the door so fucking wide?"

                                            >"Ugh, I literally saw you walk by the window and go behind the restaurant."

                                            >"Try to be a little more subtle next time."

                                            "Again, why'd you open the door like that?"

                                            >"I also had a feeling you'd try and surprise me. That, and I don't like you."

                                            "You sure don't mince words, do you, Sassy?"

                                            >"Never have, never will."

                                            >Reaching into your hoodie, you pulled out a small bag, containing about twenty bits.

                                            >"She seems... difficult." Lyra whispered, hiding behind you.

                                            >"I heard that."

                                            >"Oh...hehe...heh..." Lyra seemed to shrink down several sizes, making herself as small as possible.

                                            "Lyra, this is Sassy. My meat dealer.

                                            >"M-Meat dealer?"

                                            "Here you go. Is this enough for you to not hate my guts, Sass?"

                                            >"Mmm... close. You're five bits short. And never call me that again."

                                            "I was hoping you'd turn on your 'nice' customer service voice."

                                            >"Golly, thanks for the donation, mister!"

                                            "HNNNNNGHHH"

                                            >"Happy?" Sassy asked, tapping her hoof on the ground in impatience.

                                            >"Good grief..." Lyra couldn't believe it.

                                            >The first time she did that, you were just as surprised.

                                            >"S-So Anon, where are we having dinner?"

                                            >Something tells you Hand Horse and Fast Food Horse might not get along too well.

                                            "I was thinking we could sit down at Spaghetti Marehouse and have a nice meal."

                                            >"At least you've got good taste. When you aren't buying cans of meat substitute like a freak, anyway."

                                            "I appreciate the kind words, Sassy."

                                            >"Yeah, yeah, you're welcome. Let's get going."

                                            >"Tomorrow is my day off, so don't waste my time."

                                            "Wouldn't dream of it."

                                            >"Lead the way, Anon! I haven't been to Spaghetti Marehouse in a while, they're like, so expensive!"

                                            >"Dear Celestia, where do you get all of these bits from?"

                                            "Funny you should mention her, it's actually..."

                                            >Walking off into the night, you continued chatting up Sassy and Lyra.


                                            >"Good evening, ladies! Right this way, I'll have you seated in just a-"

                                            >The bathrooms in this place are fucking microscopic, but that shouldn't be surprising.

                                            >They're built for ponies, not for you.

                                            >Sassy and Lyra were standing beside one of the hosts, all three of them were staring at you.

                                            >Especially the host.

                                            "What? I just got out of the bathroom."

                                            >He's shitting the bed for absolutely no reason.

                                            >Wait, never mind.

                                            >For anypony that's never seen a human before, that reaction is par for the course.

                                            >Sighing, you waved a hand at the host in attempt to "wake" him up.

                                            >All that did was encourage him to start running in the other direction.

                                            "Listen, buddy. Just get us a fucking table."

                                            >"O-O-Of c-course, s-sir! R-Right away!"

                                            >He sprinted off somewhere at top speeds, so that's probably your queue to follow him.

                                            "Welp. You two can go first."

                                            >"Hmph. Chivalry will get you nowhere."

                                            >Sassy walked on ahead with her head held high, and Lyra trotted close behind her.

                                            >"Thanks, Anon. I appreciate your good manners!"

                                            >"I don't."

                                            >Lyra gave you this look that just screamed "What the fuck is this bitch's problem?"

                                            >You shrugged your shoulders, not knowing how to answer that question.

                                            >A good guess could be the long-lasting effects of customer service jobs on your personality.

                                            >And if that's not it, you've got nothing.

                                            >"YO! ANONYMOUS! WHAT'S UP?!"

                                            >Turning your head to address what you assume to be a mare calling you, you spotted Vinyl.

                                            >That's a face you didn't expect to see in a fancy place like this.

                                            >She's sitting right next to Octavia, too, so that probably explains why she's here.

                                            >Her outrageously loud greeting alerted almost every pony in the building.

                                            >Those headphones of hers are seemingly always on full blast, and you wonder if she can even hear herself.

                                            >You nervously waved back, not wanting to draw more attention to yourself than you already do by default.

                                            >Octavia, much like Sassy, wasn't having it, and quickly drew Vinyl's attention away from you.

                                            >Are you a bad influence or something?

                                            >Once the three of you caught up to the frantic host, he ushed your little group into a small booth.

                                            >Small for you, of course.

                                            >You're going to take up so much fucking space.

                                            >"W-What can I g-get for you three while y-you wai-"

                                            >"Spaghetti. Now. And you'd better bring it out here fast, or you can say goodbye to your future kids."

                                            >"I'm not playing around; I don't have time to wait all night."

                                            >"A-And the d-d-d-drinks?"

                                            >Sassy merely glared at him in response, and you've never seen a more scared stallion in your life.

                                            >"EEEEEEE!"

                                            >The host ran off, screaming something towards the back of the kitchen about spaghetti.


                                            >Truth be told, spaghetti is exactly what you came here for.

                                            >The question would be if that was what Lyra wanted.

                                            "Lyra? Are you fine with that?"

                                            >"I-I mean... hopefully we get our drinks? Even though you didn't order any..."

                                            >"We will. I made sure of that."

                                            "Alllright then."

                                            >She really threatened him with the loss of his 'future kids'.

                                            >That's insane.

                                            >And hot.

                                            >You've got problems.

                                            "Hey, Lyra, mind if I sit down first?"

                                            "It's better for you if you're not by the window, I'm too big."

                                            >"Good point..."

                                            >Obviously, Sassy sat by herself.

                                            >And not a moment sooner, the host returned with three massive plates of spaghetti, and 3 drinks.

                                            >With each cup and platter perilously wobbling around on his tray, it's a shocker that he hasn't dropped anything.

                                            >Last time you checked, the portions at this restaurant are NOT this big.

                                            >Everything looked amazing, though.

                                            >At the speed your food was delivered, you'd think that he gave you someone else's order.

                                            >After seeing that desperate look in his eyes, it doesn't sound completely out of the question.

                                            >"There. Was that so hard?"

                                            >Sassy, even when showing a teeny-tiny crumb of appreciation, still terrifies the shit out of this stallion.

                                            >The guy is running away again.

                                            >He's just looking out for his family jewels, but he did the job, there's no reason for him to-

                                            >Your train of thought was interrupted as Sassy hopped out of the booth and chased after the host.

                                            >Literally what the fuck did he do?

                                            >She's currently chasing him into the kitchen for no discernible reason other than his own existence.

                                            >"Jesus."

                                            "You stole my line! You're not supposed to know who that is!"

                                            >"It's not my fault! You say it all the time!"

                                            "Bullshit."

                                            >"Ahhem..."

                                            >"...Anyways, now that she's gone... do ya' wanna..."

                                            >"...y'know."

                                            "No. I think I'd rather eat, Lyra."

                                            >"Oh, you can eat, alright."

                                            "Shut up and eat your sketti."

                                            >"You're no fun... guess I'll just finger my own pussy... again."

                                            "Please don't do that next to me."

                                            >The two of you continued to enjoy each other's company whilst eating sketti, as Sassy ruthlessly pursued the host.

                                            >Sure enough, you started hearing "schlicks", and it was NOT coming from the sketti.

                                            "Goddamnit, Lyra."


                                            >Opening the door to your home, you entered inside, closed the door behind you, and tossed off your hoodie.

                                            >On the way back from "dinner", it felt as if something was pricking you every so often.

                                            >You turned your hoodie inside out to inspect it, and found something very, very peculiar.

                                            >There were small vines, about four inches in length, some of them with thorns, inside of the hoodie.

                                            >These bastards were pricking you that entire time, but you aren't sure how these got into your clothes.

                                            >Maybe the wind was blowing around some vines?

                                            >That doesn't make much sense, of course.

                                            >You'd prefer to deal with this now rather than later, so you started pulling them out, as painful as it was.

                                            >Something even stranger happened once you got a hold of them.

                                            >They started to twitch; The vines were jittering about, and out of nowhere, one of them seemed to be growing.

                                            >It scared you half to death, despite it only being an insignificant vine, and you dropped it on the floor.

                                            >Did magical vines, or whatever these were, manage to find their way into your hoodie?

                                            >They were touching your skin, and the realization of that gave you an epiphany.

                                            >Last night, while you slept, your injuries were rapidly healing themselves.

                                            >And the strangest part about it was that it didn't come as a shock to you.

                                            >It felt completely natural.

                                            >However, something here doesn't feel right.

                                            >At the very least, it feels different, and it could be because you're affecting things outside of your body.

                                            >Now here you are, with vines that grew in reaction to your touch.

                                            >In order to determine whether or not this was because of your ability, you approached one of your house plants.

                                            >If it reacts to your touch in the same way that the vines did, then something else is definitely up.

                                            >As you laid your hand upon the Spider Plant(TM), it started to shake about, before calming down.

                                            >Before you knew it, it was growing exactly like plants of this kind normally would by themselves.

                                            >Except this was much faster, and targeting a specific section of it would focus the growth effect.

                                            >It was like watching a time-lapse of plant growth over time, but in real time.

                                            >After taking your hands off the plant, you simply stared at it, trying to figure out what was going on.

                                            >Not only is your body healing itself, but it seems you're causing living things to grow by touching them.

                                            >And as if things weren't already strange enough, the plant continued to grow, even without your hands on it.

                                            >You shook your head in confusion, and just as quickly as it started, the growth stopped.

                                            >Staring back at the plant once more in shock, the growth started once again.

                                            "What... the... fuck?"

                                            >Were you influencing the plant from a distance?

                                            >You mentally slapped yourself, and decided that you'd save the investigation for later.

                                            >Otherwise, you'd be staring at your house plants all night.

                                            >At the very least, you might know how those vines got in your clothes.


                                            >Perhaps the wind was carrying some seeds around, they got in your hoodie, and grew from there.

                                            >You can have a big, galaxy brain like Twi too, sometimes.

                                            >She's going to love this, that's for sure.

                                            >On the way to your bedroom, you noticed something a little off.

                                            >The last time you were here was just before you left to meet up with Spike.

                                            >And you specifically remember closing the bedroom door on your way out.

                                            >There's a chance you're just being paranoid, and you're misremembering things.

                                            >Or Fluttershy broke into your house, again, because that's something she's done before.

                                            >You outstretched a hand to push the door open, but a horrifying sight stopped you dead in your tracks.

                                            >There was an eye, blueish in color, glaring at you through the crack in your bedroom door.

                                            >It likely belonged to a pony, but regardless of who the eye belonged to, you screamed at the top of your lungs.

                                            >The scariest part was that your scream didn't cause whoever, or whatever was in your room to move.

                                            >You pushed the door open as quickly as you could, hoping to identify whoever this intruder is.

                                            >Even though you were staring them right in the eyes moments before, the intruder disappeared.

                                            >Are you losing your fucking mind?

                                            >Who the hell even was that?

                                            >Could you even sleep after seeing something so unnerving?

                                            >SHOULD you sleep after that?

                                            >Out of paranoia, you dropped to the ground and checked under your bed.

                                            >Your window is closed.

                                            >There's nothing in your closet other than clothes.

                                            >Did they run past you when you opened the door?

                                            >Sitting down on the side of your bed, you took deep breaths to calm your nerves, staring into space.

                                            >Truth be told, you could just go straight to Twi, or really anypony.

                                            >For now, it's probably best to just get to bed.

                                            >You're seeing things at this point; That's what you decided to tell yourself as you laid down.

                                            >It wasn't easy, of course, and it kept cropping up in your mind.

                                            >Nothing has frightened you that much since Fluttershy's Super Rapist(TM) mode.

                                            >Ever since that little saga was dealt with, you assumed things would calm down around here.

                                            >Apparently not.

                                            >Amidst your tossing and turning, the sound of glass being knocked on startled you.

                                            >Your window is directly above your bed, so you sat up, turning around to check it out.

                                            >It was Fluttershy.

                                            >Of course it was.


                                            >She was mouthing for you to let her in, and in all honesty, you're glad she showed up.

                                            >After opening your window, the small yellow horse flew her way into your room.

                                            >"H-Hi, Anon. Thanks for letting me in."

                                            >For some reason, she was wearing a bee costume.

                                            >Part of it, at least.

                                            >A hat with little antennae, and a big stinger.

                                            "You look retarded."

                                            >"I-I was wondering if bees were your..."

                                            "No."

                                            >You haven't let her into your room for a while now.

                                            >The last time you did was when you were still new to Equestria, and she 'didn't' have the hots for you.

                                            >Or, at the very least, the hots were developing.

                                            "Was that the only reason you came here? Just to ask that?"

                                            >"I felt lonely, s-so I came by because... I wanted to sleep with you."

                                            "JUST sleep with me? Nothing else?"

                                            >"I-If you want to fuck, let me know!"

                                            >And there you go.

                                            >In hindsight, you should know not to ask Fluttershy that kind of question by now.

                                            >It's funny how only Fluttershy says 'fuck', while everypony else says 'buck'.

                                            >More than likely because it's what YOU say.

                                            "No, Fluttershy, I think I'm good."

                                            >As if you said yes, Fluttershy attempted to mount you.

                                            "Y'know, I said no. Don't know if you heard me, or not."

                                            >"Your eyes are really pretty, Anon."

                                            "Uh-huh."

                                            >"Are compliments your fetish?"

                                            "I appreciate them, but... no. They're not."

                                            "Sounds like something a narcissist would get off to."

                                            >"Did you have a good day after talking to Pinkie?"

                                            "I had a great day, actually. Speaking of Pinkie..."

                                            >"...You want to know how our talk went, don't you?"

                                            "Yup. You're such a smart horse."

                                            >"I assumed she pulled you aside to talk about what I did to her."

                                            "And I comforted her as much as I could."

                                            >"Even so, she was... still a little upset with me."

                                            "No shit. You took her virginity, raped every day her for an entire week..."

                                            "...Also, there's the whole being in love thing."

                                            >"N-Not that I'm surprised! I expected her to lash out at me!"

                                            "Everypony knows that you weren't yourself during all of that. Far from it."

                                            "Because if you were, you and Pinkie would be in a really, REALLY rough patch right now."

                                            "It's rough enough as it is; It'll take her some more time to heal."


                                            >"It makes me wonder; Why did you decide to stay friends with me, Anon?"

                                            >These days, it blindsides you whenever you're having an actual conversation with Nutter Putter.

                                            >One that doesn't devolve, or start with "fuck me", or "kiss me, you big monkey".

                                            "Because we ARE friends. Duh."

                                            "That's really all there is to it, as far as I care."

                                            >"But..."

                                            "But - you should've been the only one apologizing? Not me?"

                                            "In most cases... okay, maybe all cases... you'd be the one doing that, yes."

                                            "Still, I know you well enough to understand that you don't mean any harm."

                                            "Back where I come from, if anypony, er, anyone... did what you've done, it would NOT end up like this."

                                            >"Then, why don't you treat me like that? I-It's not fair to you..."

                                            >Her voice trailed off in a sorrowful tone, and she couldn't have sounded any more genuine.

                                            "You're right. It really isn't. But that's the dynamic we have together."

                                            "It doesn't matter how many times you try to get in my pants without permission, I care about you."

                                            "A lot. I mean it."

                                            >Wrapping an arm around Fluttershy, you brought her close to your chest.

                                            "Besides, do I look like a pussy to you? I'm not going to whine about having mares on my dick all day."

                                            >Rapetholomew I of Rapestantinople gazed into your eyes with an otherworldly amount of longing.

                                            >"Anon, that's... the nicest thing you've ever said to me."

                                            >"S-Should we-"

                                            "Go the fuck to sleep? Yeah, we should."

                                            "Good night, Fluttershy."

                                            >"G-Good night, Anon."

                                            >If there was an award for killing the mood, this horse would get it, hands down.

                                            >Regardless of that, you meant every word of what you said.

                                            >Your head fell flat against the pillow; Fluttershy's body would soon rest against your chest.

                                            >As you drifted off into dreamland, you all but forgot about that frightening 'intruder'.

                                            >Including the weird shit you inadvertently did to those plants.

                                            >It was just you, a yellow horse, and your bed.

                                            >Maybe there's a timeline where an alternate you decided to scorn Fluttershy and push her away even further.

                                            >You're glad it's not this one.


                                            >Just as quickly as you fell asleep, some cruel god thought it would be funny if you woke up instantly.

                                            >Similar to the time you were sent careening down a hill after a raccoon attack, your surroundings were different.

                                            >This is either a dream, or Celestia decided that she wasn't finished with you yet.

                                            >If it is Celestia, this gives you the opportunity to ask her about that gift she mentioned.

                                            >You seemed to be inside the hallways of Canterlot Castle, and just like earlier, it was night-time.

                                            >Rays of moonlight shined through the tall windows, giving the hallway a blue atmosphere.

                                            >Standing up to your feet, you looked around, but you didn't see anypony.

                                            "Celestia? Luna? Hello?!"

                                            "Hey, I'm in your castle! Don't you think it's... y'know, rude to not address me?"

                                            >No answer.

                                            "Tch."

                                            >You sucked your teeth, kicking at the air in slight frustration.

                                            >"We were just getting to that, Anonymous."

                                            >"Dost thou have no patience?"

                                            >Your head turned in the direction of a sudden speaker, and if you're not crazy, it sounded like Luna.

                                            >She was much closer than you expected her to be, but you're not going to question it.

                                            "Oh, so you DO know how to greet a guest. For a second there, I thought this was just a dream."

                                            "Please tell me this isn't a dream."

                                            >"I can assure you, it is not."

                                            "Good."

                                            >"We spoke just yesterday, and already, you're giving my sister grief."

                                            >You heard Celestia right behind you, and you can't say you're surprised.

                                            >Curse these magical horses, along with their appearing and disappearing acts.

                                            >"I would say the problem lies with the guest, and not the host."

                                            "Really now? Well-"

                                            >Your body turned as you spoke, and a most unexpected sight destroyed your train of thought.

                                            >Celestia's huge, white ass, to be specific.

                                            >Among other things.

                                            "JESUS-"

                                            >"How many times have I told you not to say that?"

                                            >"You're supposed to use MY name, Anonymous. Remember that conversation?"

                                            "Yeah, well, I'm not gonna' call out your name with your ass in my face!"

                                            >"What's stopping you, my loyal subject?"

                                            >After speaking, Celestia proceeded to back, you repeat, BACK UP her flank into you.

                                            >Her actions had already taken you by surprise, but your mind truly went blank upon contact.

                                            >You've said it yourself, Celestia has a cake problem, but by God, she was soft.

                                            >Her flanks were like pillows, hell, even softer than pillows.

                                            >And now, you can officially say you've touched the ruler of Equestria's nether regions.

                                            >Or more accurately, you've BEEN touched BY them.


                                            >Treating this little infraction like you were interacting with Twilight, you kept your composure.

                                            "Have some tact, would you, Celestia?"

                                            >It didn't come out as confidently and unshakeable as you had hoped, but you didn't do half bad.

                                            >Luna giggled quietly behind you, trying to remain as professional as she could.

                                            >"Someone has their guard up, I see."

                                            "Somepony, you mean."

                                            >"I hold audiences and relations with many races, Anonymous. Like yourself."

                                            >"More so than the average pony would, and my speech reflects that."

                                            "Get your fat ass off of me."

                                            >"As usual, you don't waste any time."

                                            "No, I don't. I'm not sure what reason you called me here for, but I've got a question."

                                            >"Go on."

                                            "Your ass."

                                            >"What about it, Anonymous? Is it to your liking?"

                                            >She pressed it against you even further, and you almost fucking shuddered.

                                            "T-That's not what I meant. And lay off the cake."

                                            >"Saying such things about a mare's weight would upset her, you know."

                                            "Oh, don't worry, I know. That's the point."

                                            >"Perhaps Anonymous is not the gentlemen we thought he was." Luna gave her piece, dragging out the conversation.

                                            >The very, very uncomfortable conversation that you're attempting to escape from.

                                            >It doesn't seem like Celestia is going to move, and you wouldn't dare lay your hands to push her off of you.

                                            >Even though it doesn't sound like the worst thing in the world right about now.

                                            >You're slipping, goddamnit.

                                            "Remember when you told me about a 'gift' I have?"

                                            "I think I found out what that gift is."

                                            >"And what would that be?"

                                            "Uhh... well, to start, my body suddenly started healing its own injuries."

                                            "After that, I noticed that plant life grows whenever I touch it."

                                            "And I don't mean slow growth, I mean FAST growth."

                                            "In fact, I don't even have to touch it. It happens if I just... focus on it or something..."

                                            >"Sister, could he finally be awakening to his life magic?" Luna asked, stepping out from behind you.

                                            >"It would seem so, dear sister."

                                            "Life magic? What the hell is that?"

                                            >"Some of the wonderful denizens of Equestria are blessed with this magic."

                                            >"Earth Ponies, for example, are-"

                                            "Give me the short version."

                                            >"Hmph. How rude."


                                            >Celestia's nose scrunched up as she looked back at you, a disappointed look on her features.

                                            "Seeing you with that look on your face is priceless, but I'm not saying that to be mean."

                                            "I just figured, y'know, maybe you'd actually get your butt off of me if you explained it quicker."

                                            >"Why not attempt to move me yourself?"

                                            "That would require me to put my hands on you. Already thought that through."

                                            >"You've touched me once before, Anonymous. During our last meeting."

                                            "On your back. Not on your ass."

                                            >"If this position is uncomfortable, you could move aside."

                                            "I yield to nopony."

                                            "Also, you're stalling."

                                            >"I'll be sure to have a word with Twilight soon."

                                            >"It seems she's told you too much."

                                            >Celestia finally pointed her royal rump in a different direction, leaning off of you.

                                            >You're not the same man you were the last time she taunted you.

                                            >You've changed, you swear.

                                            >Too much has happened in such a short amount of time.

                                            "She didn't have to tell me anything. I'm just getting used to this shit."

                                            "Anyway, like I was asking, abbreviated version, please?"

                                            >"The life magic in your body, for one reason or another, has finally awakened."

                                            >"Luna and I detected that magic while it was dormant inside of you, when you first arrived in Equestria."

                                            >"To better allow you a proper introduction to our world, we withheld this information until it was appropriate."

                                            "For... one reason or another, you said? You two don't even know why?"

                                            >"No, we do not, Anonymous. Honestly, we are unsure how you even have access to this magic." Luna said, sounding confused.

                                            >"What we do know is that, in most cases, the strength of life magic grows exponentially."

                                            >"Day by day, even." Celestia continued.

                                            "So... this life magic of mine is only going to get stronger? Doesn't that sound like an issue?"

                                            >"Only if you allow it to be. Like all magic, it can be controlled." Celestia added, speaking in her typical royal tongue.

                                            >"If what you say is true, you need only learn how to restrain it."

                                            "I'm sure I could practice that easily; Maybe testing it out on my house plants would be enough."

                                            >"That would be wise. As always, we'll keep monitoring over you."

                                            >"Perhaps, one evening, I'll visit you in your home."

                                            >Finally, you've been freed from Celestia's proverbial butt prison.

                                            >And after what she just said, the thought of her being in your room sets you off.

                                            >Keep your fucking composure.

                                            "You might break my bed if you sat on it, no thanks."

                                            >"Oh? What about your-"

                                            "I'm going to stop you right there. Get me outta' here, please."

                                            >"Oh, Anonymous. One day, I'll have you all to myself."


                                            >She closed her eyes, smiling triumphantly like she had just won a prize.

                                            >You don't like the way she said that, and you don't approve of this horse.

                                            >Would not recommend.

                                            >The white-coated mare took her sweet time casting the spell.

                                            >Somepony, anypony, please.

                                            >You're humbly requesting to be aroused from your deep slumber.

                                            >And no, not that kind of aroused.

                                            >That's bad.

                                            >Bad, bad, not good.

                                            >Your father, and his father before him have made that mistake.

                                            >Which is why they ended up with so many kids.

                                            >Fortunately for you, humans can't impregnate mares.

                                            >At least as far as you know.

                                            >The day when that becomes a possibility will be a frightening one.

                                            >You're in no way shape or form prepared for kids, especially not right now.

                                            >However, the idea that you could potentially be the first and last human to ever exist in this land is sad.

                                            >Celestia decided to spare you, and your magical form slowly faded away.

                                            >An absolutely diabolical, dubious idea crossed your mind just before you were gone.

                                            >Walking behind Sunbutt, you promptly brought your right hand down upon her ass, slapping it with the power of God.

                                            >Luna gasped in shock, and Celestia herself was too shocked to even speak.

                                            >No amount of words could describe her lack of preparation and embarrassment.

                                            >Not even the sun could compare to the harshness of her blushing.

                                            >Two birds struck with one stone; you admittedly wanted to touch her ass and also desired vengeance.

                                            >"A-Anonymous, you...!"

                                            >Sunbutt wasn't expecting that AT ALL.

                                            >On her flank is a bonafide imprint, one as bright as the sun itself.

                                            "Later, nerd."

                                            >Luna was a giggling mess; You bet she's never seen Celestia so embarrassed in all her years of living.

                                            >She probably has, but you'd assume not many individuals have struck her ass so unceremoniously before.

                                            >Before long, you disappeared completely, ready to return to your unconscious body.