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A Very Berry Cherry & Berry Punch Hearth’s Warming:

By Shroooomy
Created: 2022-09-18 02:36:31
Updated: 2022-09-18 03:00:33
Expiry: Never
derpy hoovessuggestiveberry punchcherry berryout of seasonchristmas/hearth warming

  1. > I tucked my hooves into my pocket and shivered
  2. > It was freezing up here. I looked up at Cherry who was steering the balloon looking unfazed by the biting winds.
  3.  
  4. "So, your family has been doing this for how many years?"
  5. > "Over thirty years."
  6. "That's cool."
  7. > “Yep, It’s been getting busy over the past couple years. You’re actually the first pony outside the family to help.”
  8. “No problem Cherry, It’s what friends are for.”
  9. > “Aren’t we more than friends?” She asked flicking her eyebrows
  10.  
  11. > Cherry aimed a present over the side of the basket and tossed it down the chimney
  12. > "How's it going on your end?"
  13. > I sat in a pile of wrapping paper covered in tape and tags.
  14. "I think I need another drink."
  15.  
  16. > "Berry!"
  17. "What? It's just to top me off. "
  18. > I popped open a bottle of whiskey and nursed it for a couple seconds.
  19. > "See, I'm fine."
  20. > Cherry rolled her eyes
  21.  
  22. > "Have you ever heard the tale of the guards mare with a bright red nose who guided Celestia's chariot through a thick fog."
  23. "Oh yes! That's a classic story."
  24.  
  25. > "She was an alcoholic. If you don't stop drinking, your nose will be just as red."
  26. > I loved Cherry but she can be a real hard flank sometimes.
  27.  
  28. > “Oh, Come on! It’s Hearth’s Warming! Don’t be a buzzkill.”
  29. > Cherry returned her attention to steering the balloon
  30. > I felt like fool
  31.  
  32. > I hate this season because I never know what to get my friends.
  33. > I panic all month until I resort to buying them copious amounts of booze.
  34. > This was our first Hearth's Warming as a couple and I needed to buy her something that showed my true feelings.
  35.  
  36. >Unfortunately, I wasted the entire month drinking because I was so worried that I would get her something she didn't like.
  37.  
  38. > Now it's Hearth's Warming night and I didn’t have anything to give her.
  39.  
  40. > I returned to my position and continued wrapping presents.
  41. > "We're approaching Twilight’s library. Do you have her gift wrapped?"
  42.  
  43. > I picked up a box with the picture of a thick red dildo
  44. > "Is this hers?"
  45.  
  46. > "Who else would I get a giant red dildo for?" She replied like it was the most obvious thing on Equestria.
  47.  
  48. > I knew a number of ponies who could use a giant red dildo. Heck I would love a giant red dildo!
  49.  
  50. > But that was a secret between myself, the bank and the post office.
  51.  
  52. > "Have you seen the way Twilight looks at Big Mac? She acts all prim and proper but she's a total perv. Any observant pony could figure out she's totally wet for that lunkhead."
  53.  
  54. > Cherry was great at this. She knew exactly what Everypony wanted. If she didn't she would make a fake address under the pseudonym "Santa"
  55. > Ponies around town would write letters telling "Santa" what they wanted and she would buy it.
  56. >And on hearth's Warming night she took her hot air balloon above the clouds and dropped whatever they asked for down their chimney.
  57.  
  58. > She's so caring and generous.
  59.  
  60. > Then there's Me.
  61. > A pony so selfish she spent all month loaded out of her mind just because she was worried about what her marefriend would think if she gifted something she didn't like.
  62. > I feel like manure.
  63. > I need a drink
  64.  
  65. > I stuck a bow on the sex toy and threw it over the edge. It landed on the welcome mat of the library.
  66. > I hope Twilight is an early riser.
  67.  
  68. > Berry was busy reigning in the balloon.
  69. > She was wearing her brown leather pilot's hat and goggles that she’s worn forever along with a thick red coat lined with fur.
  70. > With her back turned I snuck a big gulp of whiskey and went back to wrapping.
  71.  
  72. > I was hitting the high watermark of drunk. Everything was spinning and I was being cradled by the warmth of the liquor.
  73. > Feels good, mare.
  74.  
  75. > "We're approaching Derpy's house! Do you have her present?"
  76. > I shuffled through boxes until I found a box that read "100 Mini Muffins Pan"
  77. > It was pretty self explanatory
  78. > A muffin pan that cooked 100 mini Muffins
  79. > As if her rump wasn't big enough
  80. > I doubt I'll be seeing her at the post office anytime soon after she opens this.
  81.  
  82. > I haphazardly taped some wrapping paper and tossed it to Cherry who threw it over the edge.
  83. >Moved onto the next gift. It was a package of Lactation cookies
  84. > I wonder who these were for.
  85.  
  86. > I started wrapping the gift when Cherry shouted
  87. > "Oh no!"
  88. "Yes darling?" I giggled
  89.  
  90. > She pointed to the ground below and I saw Derpy's present perched on the edge of the chimney.
  91.  
  92. > "Oh…Is that a problem?"
  93.  
  94. > "Yes, it's a problem! She can barely see. How is she gonna find her present all the way up there!?"
  95.  
  96. > She grabbed a rope and tossed it over the side of the basket
  97. > "Go down there and kick it down the chimney."
  98. > "You can't be serious."
  99. > She gave me that nagging expression that I could only describe as her
  100. > "Yes, I'm dead serious." stare
  101.  
  102. > "Cherry! That's like a one hundred foot drop!"
  103. > "You'll be fine. Just slide down."
  104.  
  105. > I went into my pocket and pulled out a pint sized bottle of whisky and downed it.
  106. >"Ok. Here I go."
  107.  
  108. > I hopped Over the edge and slid down the rope, closing my eyes and holding my breath the entire way down.
  109.  
  110. > I landed a little rough but thankfully I made it.
  111. > I stumbled my way towards the chimney.
  112. And climbed to the top.
  113. > I reached the top and dropped the gift down the chimney. Suddenly a gust of wind whipped through town and shoved me down the chimney.
  114.  
  115. > I tumbled down the chimney hitting the sides all the way down.
  116. >When I hit the bottom I fell into a pile of ash that exploded into a giant puff of dust.
  117. > I picked myself up and saw I was covered mane to tail in soot.
  118. > “Gross.”
  119.  
  120. > My legs trembled as I tried to get my bearings.
  121. > The room was dark but illuminated by a glowing blue nightlight in the corner of the room.
  122. > I was in Derpy's house.
  123. > I could get into so much trouble for this.
  124. > Trying my best to be quiet, I crept through the house on the tips of my hooves.
  125.  
  126. > I exited the basement and found myself in the kitchen.
  127. > I’ve never been to Derpy's house before.
  128. >It was a strange place.
  129.  
  130. > She had bubble wrap taped around the corners of dinner table and counter.
  131. > The kitchen was spotless and she had sticky notes all over the cupboards
  132.  
  133. > “Derpy, don't forget to turn off the oven.”
  134. > -Derpy
  135.  
  136. > “Derpy, remember to measure ingredients.”
  137. > -Derpy
  138.  
  139. > “Derpy, Make friends today.”
  140. > -Derpy
  141.  
  142. > I was seeing a very personal side of her I wasn't supposed to and it made me feel like a creep.
  143. > I had to get outta here.
  144.  
  145. > I snuck through the house
  146. > It was so dark I somehow found myself stumbling into her bedroom
  147. > I started to slither my way out when I saw a gift wrapped in glistening paper resting at the end of her bed
  148.  
  149. > I slid my hooves across the room and read the tag:
  150.  
  151. > “To: Cherry Berry”
  152. > “From: Derpy”
  153.  
  154. > A rush of excitement came over me
  155. > This could be my chance
  156. > I could give this to Cherry!
  157.  
  158. > Derpy was sleeping on her side making all sorts of noises.
  159. > I put my hooves on the gift and she started to fidget.
  160. > I froze like a snowmare in an ice storm as she began to talk in her sleep.
  161.  
  162. > “Mmmm…Yes Mr. Muffin…You do taste good…nom…nom….nommm…”
  163. > She yawned and fell back to sleep.
  164. > Weird
  165. > I swiped the box from under her bed and escaped.
  166.  
  167. > Now I just needed to find a way outta here.
  168. > Derpy's house was eerily spotless. I always imagined her house would be a disaster but she was actually quite tidy.
  169.  
  170. > I found myself in the living room.
  171. > She had a Hearth warming tree wrapped in a string of blue lights.
  172. > The ornaments were all hoof made
  173.  
  174. >I approached the tree and spotted crude drawing of Celestia wearing a wreath around her neck.
  175. > It must have been from one of her first Hearth Warmings
  176. > I flipped it over and read the date:
  177. > "Derpy's 20th Hearth Warming."
  178. >...
  179. > At Least she was keeping the spirit.
  180. > I reached into my pocket and chugged another pint of whiskey.
  181.  
  182. > After a couple minutes I found the door.
  183. > Finally
  184. > I charged full speed ahead but tripped over a loose floor board.
  185. > When I hit the ground I was met with a note.
  186. > “Derpy, watch out for loose floorboard. -Derpy”
  187.  
  188. > Oh for crying out loud
  189. > I got back on my hooves and suddenly the lights switched on.
  190. > I turned and saw Derpy rubbing her eyes, wearing a pair of blue pyjamas with drawings of envelopes on them.
  191.  
  192. > “What the heck is happening here…”
  193. > Upon seeing me she froze and I did the same
  194. > I felt like just bolting out the door but that wasn't dignified.
  195. > I was caught.
  196. > Time to own up to my scumbaggery
  197.  
  198. > “Is that…?”
  199. > “Yes Derpy, it’s me.”
  200.  
  201. > “Oh my gosh! It really is you! It's Santa!”
  202. > Wait..
  203. >WHAT!?
  204.  
  205. > “What are you doing here Santa? You're all dusty!"
  206. > She approached me timidly and wiped some of the chimney soot from my eyes
  207. > “No…No I'm fine.”
  208.  
  209. > “You have very pretty eyes Santa.”
  210. >...
  211. > “Why thank you…You too.”
  212. > She started to blush and hid her face bashfully behind her hoof
  213. > “Oh, stop it!”
  214.  
  215. > Her eye wandered to the gift in my hoof
  216. > Santa…What are you doing with my gift to Cherry Berry?”
  217. > Oh no
  218. > Think you drunken piece of trash! Think!
  219. “I’m going to deliver it to her…personally.”
  220.  
  221. > My eyes darting back and forth
  222. > “Are you sure?”
  223. “Yes…I hear you’re the town delivery pony and I thought you could use a break..Us delivery mares have to stick together, right?”
  224.  
  225. > She put her hoof to her chin
  226. “Hmmm….”
  227. > Oh my gosh. I’m a goner.
  228. > Her eyes shot open and she smiled
  229. > “That's true! Thanks Santa!”
  230. > She stared at me with wide, excited eyes bouncing from front hoof to back hoof.
  231. >...
  232.  
  233. “Well I should probably go.”
  234. > “Wait!”
  235. > She dashed into the other room and fetched another present
  236. > “This gift is for a mare named Berry Punch. Can you give it to her?”
  237.  
  238. “Ummm…Sure.”
  239. > “I tried to give this to her earlier but when she saw me ran away…She’s a strange mare.”
  240. > She's just going through a rough time….She don’t think she intended to be mean…Don't take it personally."
  241. > "I understand."
  242.  
  243. > She passed me the present which I awkwardly accepted.
  244. > I exited the house with the two presents in hoof as she waved from her doorstep
  245. > "Bye Santa!"
  246. > "Bye Derpy! Happy Hearth Warming!"
  247. > I'm an awful pony.
  248.  
  249.  
  250. > “Pssst!”
  251. > I turned to my left and saw Cherry Berry sitting beside the anchor of her balloon
  252. > “You delivered the present right?”
  253.  
  254. > “Yeah.”
  255. > “What do you have there?”
  256. > I looked down at the gifts I had stolen
  257. > I couldn’t go through with this
  258. > No amount of alcohol could bury the guilt if I did
  259.  
  260. “It’s our presents from Derpy."
  261. > “You stole them!?”
  262. “No. She gave it to me.”
  263.  
  264. > The two of us climbed up the rope back into the balloon.
  265. > I felt awful for what I had done.
  266.  
  267. > Once we reached the top the two of us opened our gifts in the basket
  268. > I tore open my present and was baffled
  269. > The package read:
  270. > “Cloudsdale Exclusive, Wonderbolts brand Flight Helmet and Glasses.”
  271. > “I don’t want this.” I whispered to myself
  272.  
  273. > My eyes were drawn to a shining gold seal that laid under the shredded wrapping paper.
  274. > I opened it and it read:
  275. > “Dear, Berry Punch: I know you’ve been having a hard time trying to find a gift for Cherry Berry. It’s hard finding a gift for mysterious mares like her. My gift to you is a gift to her, just in case you forget to buy her a present like you did last year.”
  276.  
  277. > I looked up and saw Cherry Berry holding her hoof over her mouth and blushing
  278. > “Cherry, I’m sorry. I didn’t get you a gift again this year. I just get so worried that you won’t like it. Here’s my gift from Derpy to you.”
  279.  
  280. > She took the package and smiled ear to ear
  281. > “Is this Wonderbolt brand flight equipment!?”
  282. “Ummm…Sure is.”
  283. > “How did you know?” She giggled
  284.  
  285. >She tore open the packaging and put on her brand new hat and goggles.
  286. > “How do I look?” She asked striking a pose
  287. “Absolutely stunning.”
  288.  
  289. > Cherry sat close to me and sighed
  290. > “I have a confession to make. I didn’t get you anything either. You never told me what you wanted and you never wrote a letter.”
  291. > “Oh…Well that's okay.”
  292. > “But if I did it would be this!”
  293.  
  294. > She pulled out a giant red dildo that landed on the floor with a wet SMACK!
  295. > I was beyond confused
  296. > Derpy must have been going through my orders at the Post Office…
  297. > I was turning red with embarrassment at this point
  298.  
  299. "You know me so well."
  300. >...
  301. > Cherry started to giggle and I followed
  302. > Soon we were both on our stomachs howling in laughter.
  303. > That doe eyed mare sure is clever.
  304.  
  305. > I glanced over at the sex toy and noticed a note tied to the base of the phallus
  306. > “To Cherry Berry: No pony is harder to shop for than Berry Punch. But after some snooping I’m sure she’ll love this. Thanks for including me in this year's festivities Santa!”
  307.  
  308. > My brain was scrambled.
  309. “Wait….So she knew all that time….I…I’m so confused…I need a drink.”
  310.  
  311. > "We really are the perfect couple." Cherry said wiping a tear from her eye
  312. " Why do you say that?"
  313. "Because you like to get smashed and I like to get high.”
  314. >The two of us laughed and embraced each other in a hug.
  315. “Ok, let's finish our route. Lots of ponies are counting on us.”
  316. > I returned to my post and began wrapping the presents
  317. > “Aye, Aye captain!”
  318.  
  319. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flA5ndOyZbI

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