Writing For Yourself


                                            >It was late in the evening and you were heading to visit Twilight for your usual game night

                                            >Her and you had been spending the last few months together playing board games that no one else would touch, or given their intelligence and patience, even be able to play.

                                            >Single use 10 part long box set puzzles, trading card games complex enough to need a certified judge just to play casually, and Ogres & Oubliettes.

                                            >Spike had repeatedly expressed interest in playing O&O with the both of you and you're pretty sure he could understand it too.

                                            >That was until Twilight started spending the majority of the sessions making you manage your brothels

                                            >At first you thought it would be funny to open a whore house to help afford magic items.

                                            >Until she forced you to painstakingly, and in character, handle the hiring, benefits, wage, taxes, etc.

                                            >Admittedly you were enjoying micro managing as the perfect brothel tycoon.

                                            >So Spike would only get in the way of that.

                                            >Also probably not a topic suitable for children.


                                            >When you arrive at the library you are greeted by Spike at the door.

                                            >You come inside and ask him where Twilight is.

                                            "She went to get some last minute snacks. Maybe while you wait you can teach me what you're playing tonight!"

                                            >The plan tonight was more O&O, which meant more prostitutes.

                                            "I'm sorry Spike, but the game we're playing isn't for kids."

                                            >The innuendo is lost on both of you.

                                            >Spike grumbles to himself and sulks upstairs like every game night.

                                            >You instead make your way downstairs to wait for her.

                                            >While you're walking down the steps you see a book you don't recognize beside the usual maps, books and papers used to play.

                                            >Is Twilight writing up some sort of tragedy to throw a wrench in your highly successful and profitable business?

                                            >It would be wrong to look, it'd be like cheating.

                                            >However you have spent dozens of hours carefully planning the future of your franchise, Hoovters, and it would be more wrong for Twilight to sabotage it.

                                            >Reading through her all her notes wouldn't be right, but just skimming a page or two?

                                            >Totally justified for the sake of your hard working mares.

                                            >You double check that Twilight isn't coming through the front door.

                                            >You sit down in front of the book.

                                            >You open the cover to find a table of contents

                                            >Written on the first line is 50 Shades of Hay (Celestia x Applejack x Me)

                                            >Mouth agape you keep reading the title expecting it to change.

                                            >It does not.

                                            >In fact it only gets worse.

                                            >Spring Breakback Mountain (Apple Bloom x Scootaloo x Sweetie Belle x Me)

                                            >The Princess and the Pee (Celestia x Luna x Me)

                                            >One that catches your eye is "The Grand Gaping Gala". It takes up a very, very large amount of real estate in the tablet of contents.

                                            >The names listed are in the dozens starting with Celestia and includes what you can only assume was every attendee at the actual Gala Twilight attended.

                                            >Of course "Me" is the last character listed.

                                            >In fact, as you skim through more of the contents, every single story here has Twilight in it.

                                            >There's a lot with Celestia's name too, she is by far the most popular name aside from Twilight herself.

                                            >Somewhere along the way you remember you're invading your friend's privacy.

                                            >All you wanted was a leg up for your business but now you feel a little dirty from what you've read.

                                            >You close the book without diving further into this obviously very personal and private book.

                                            >When you notice the worst part yet.

                                            >In your haste to read it you missed the writing on the cover and spine.

                                            >"Volume 36".

                                            >Surely that isn't how many books Twilight has filled with her self insert erotic fan fiction.

                                            >It has to be part of a large set of blank journals she bought and this just happened to be the one she filled with that.

                                            >Your thinking is interrupted when you finally hear the front door thrown open.

                                            >Quickly jumping from Twilight's spot at the table you take a seat in your own chair before she comes down.

                                            >And she comes down in a flurry dropping her saddlebag on the table splattering some of the game papers around.

                                            >She immediately lifts Volume 36 with magic and slots it into the top shelf far out of reach of wandering eyes.

                                            "You weren't reading my DM notes were you?"

                                            >There's a shortness of breath in her words, as if she was sprinting not running but sprinting home.

                                            "Of course not. That would be cheating and out of character for my alignment."

                                            >Twilight half asses a chuckle but you can hear the anxiety in her voice.

                                            >You look up at the shelf where she stashed the book and can see they're all the same color, squinting your eyes reveals that Volume 36 is set right next to 35, and 34, 33.

                                            >It's the whole collection.

                                            >There's even some numbers past 36.

                                            >Twilight kicks the table just a bit harder than what she probably meant to.

                                            "I mean it. Don't go snooping through my... campaign notes."

                                            "I swear on my heart I will not read your campaign notes lest you use magic to banish me from Equestria."

                                            >You even gesture a cross over your heart as you promise with slightly nervous smile.

                                            >Does she really believe you didn't open it?

                                            >Does she know you have every intention of grabbing the ladder from upstairs, lugging it into the basement, and inspecting the other 35+ volumes?

                                            >Probably not, Pinkie is the one who's psychic.

                                            >Despite the road bump Twilight and you dive right into the game.

                                            >O&O goes about as expected, Twilight makes you run through the nitty and gritty of economics.

                                            >She tries to sell the excitement of fending off the taxman as if he's an invading army of of trolls.

                                            >It's hard to even remember what this campaign was supposed to be about originally.

                                            >The night finishes off after you recruit a Breezie for a high value client.

                                            >Part of you feels at least a little gross about that but whatever, after all it's just a game.

                                            >You're tidying up your sheets and dice to leave while Twilight cleans the crumbs from the table.

                                            "I'll see you next week then Anon?"

                                            "Oh yeah, I just can't wait to donate to orphanages to lower my income bracket."

                                            >Twilight playfully sticks her tongue out and blows a raspberry at you.

                                            >As you're walking across the main room you see Spike from the corner of your eye watching you intently.

                                            "I'll see you later Spike."

                                            >He only responds with a sinister chuckle.

                                            >Instinctively you respond the same way whenever someone laughs at you.

                                            "Y-you too."

                                            >Without a second thought given to that you rush out the door and make for home.

                                            >You lay down to sleep but stare at the ceiling eyes wide thinking about Twilight's self insert erotica.

                                            >It takes hours to finally get some rest.

                                            >When you wake up you deal with your daily routine.

                                            >Brush your teeth, bathe, eat breakfast, jerk off to crude drawings of the townsponies.

                                            >After cleaning up from a shameful fantasy involving Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara you head out to the library again.

                                            >Hopefully some sort of monster or natural disaster will threaten the town and Twilight will have to leave to stop it.

                                            >But how likely is that?

                                            >It could be days before another one of those shows u-

                                            >You're conveniently interrupted by screaming ponies running in a panic.

                                            >They seem to be growing extra appendages, spots, some have shrunk, and some are just ambiguous howling monstrosities.

                                            >Blessed you are to be human, completely unaffected by all these pony problem.

                                            >But this is exactly the sort of thing that would get Twilight out of her house while she solves this scenario she probably created.

                                            >Or one of her friends honestly.

                                            >Completely un-phased you leisurely stroll to the library.

                                            >Just to be safe you knock on the door, and thankfully no one answers.

                                            >You step inside to find a mess in the main room.

                                            >Twilight must have been frantically searching for an answer the plague outside.

                                            >There's no time to lose.

                                            >You're about to scurry downstairs only to stop at the top.

                                            >Spike is sitting at the table.

                                            >And he's reading a familiar book.

                                            "Hey buddy, whatcha got there?"


                                            >Spike doesn't react at all when you question him.

                                            >He's just breathing heavily with his nose buried.


                                            "I don't think that stuff is for kids Spike."


                                            >You reach for the book when spike pulls away from you while hissing.

                                            >He glares at you for a second before realizing what's going on.

                                            >He drops the book in fright and covers his eyes with face red.


                                            "I'm s-sorry."


                                            >You pick it up to see what he was reading.

                                            >Chasing The Purple Dragon (Spike x Rarity x Me)

                                            >Now you're blushing too

                                            >A quick skim reveals it's about Spike getting Rarity addicted to magical gemstones in exchange for sexual favors.

                                            >It's very explicit.

                                            >Also Twilight seems to show up at random to join in.

                                            >For no particular reason.

                                            >You remember Spike is still there on the floor when he lets out a quiet sniffle.

                                            >Oh Lord he must be traumatized from reading this.


                                            "Are you okay? Did you know what you were reading?"


                                            >He wipes the tears from his eyes.


                                            "Am I in trouble?"


                                            "No way, you're just not old enough for a story like this."


                                            "But you were reading it too and I've already read it a bunch!"


                                            >Oh man, this is getting out of your depth.

                                            >Teaching a kid when it's alright to get horny is not a question you'd like to answer.

                                            >And he's already read it.


                                            "Spike I don't think I'm old enough to deal with this right now so why don't you just go upstairs and take the book with you and we'll forget this happened."


                                            >Spike might rat you out to Twilight if you take it away from him.

                                            >Now that compounded with this is definitely a conversation you don't want to have with her.

                                            >Most definitely a one way ticket to banishment.

                                            >Spike was already on his way to his bed.


                                            "Don't let Twilight see you with that."


                                            >He doesn't respond as he scurries away.


                                            >You turn your attention towards the bookshelves.

                                            >The ladder is conveniently next to the volumes you're after.

                                            >Thanks Spike.

                                            >A part of starts to feel bad.

                                            >Are you really going to betray your friend's trust while she's out risking her life to save the town?

                                            >Sweet Celestia only a terrible person would do such a thing.

                                            >Good thing you're not a terrible person.

                                            >You inspect the spines of the books.

                                            >The one from earlier, 36, is still here.

                                            >But maybe you should check another one?

                                            >At random you grab number 10.

                                            >Opening the cover to witness the secrets inside, you find exactly what you were looking for.

                                            >Golly gee these titles she's written are so hilarious.

                                            >Every one is better than the last.

                                            >These titles were probably the funniest thing you've ever seen and anyone who read them would agree.

                                            >You pick a safe looking one from the list and turn the pages to check it out.

                                            >Shining Goes to Taco Bell (Shining Armor x Me)

                                            >Not even a page into it you are disgusted, horrified, and your entire day has been ruined.

                                            >You have just maybe made a mistake.

                                            >There might have been a reason Twilight didn't want anyone to read these.

                                            >With a thousand yard stare you put the book back in its place.

                                            >You're just about to climb down the ladder and leave when a thought creeps in.

                                            >What would the first stories be like, what made Twilight start down this terrible path?

                                            >You reach for Volume 1.


                                            >The ladder creaks and squeaks while you climb down it with your prize in hand.

                                            >You take your usual seat at the game table and open the cover.

                                            >It's still nearly organized by title like the others but the handwriting, (hoofwriting?) is noticeably worse.

                                            >Better yet, there are doodles all around the margins.

                                            >They all seem to be Celestia and Twilight.

                                            >Some of them are the couple nuzzling, kissing, touching hooves.

                                            >A few others are more risqué with Twilight laying on her stomach presenting herself to a licking Celestia.

                                            >Has Twilight always been so horny?

                                            >Now that you think about it she had been practically hand picking a lot of prostitutes for your O&O brothel through the client npcs she made.

                                            >Maybe there really is no plan to mess up your business and she's more invested in it than you.

                                            >The story titles are more of the same.

                                            >Vague puns and wordplay but they're more childish.

                                            >She was probably self inserting herself and Celestia into kids' books she read as a filly.

                                            >Winnie the Poon (Celestia x Me)

                                            >Where the Child Things Are (Me x Celestia)

                                            >You are unsure if the order of the characters names matter since they're all Twilight and her teacher.

                                            >Green Eggs and Slamming Ham

                                            >The Very Horn-gry Caterpillar

                                            >Others just seem to be generic names she made herself.

                                            >The Teacher's Pet

                                            >Forbidden Love

                                            >The Mare in Me


                                            >You pick that last one to read.

                                            >First taking a quick look outside to make sure the chaos is still going on.

                                            >Through the window you see Applejack in the background lassoing one of the monstrous ponies.

                                            >You've got plenty of time.

                                            >Slinking back into the basement you turn back to the page you were on.

                                            >"The Mare in Me, (Celestia x Me)

                                            >It opens with Twilight practicing her magic spells in Canterlot.

                                            >She must have been pretty young when she wrote this.

                                            >The margins again have little doodles of Celestia just doing random things.

                                            >Some of them have little heart eyes and cupid arrows.

                                            >Twilight is learning about how to shrink and enlarge objects with her magic.

                                            "Wow this magic is so incredible I bet I could shrink down Princess Celestia to fit in my hand!"

                                            "I bet there's a lot of places she could fit if I did that."

                                            >She starts imagining Celestia running up and down her body and getting into every nook and cranny.

                                            >Twilight starts describing how wet her privates are but it reads like she had a thesaurus on hand.

                                            >Words like aqueous, soused, and saturated.

                                            >It's not very sexy, like trying to get aroused with an anatomy textbook.

                                            >She had a isolated upbringing so it's not surprising she doesn't have a great grasp on how to be sexy.

                                            >Not like you, you're a total stud who's never been sexually awkward.

                                            >The story suddenly has Celestia burst through the door to catch Twilight salivating over her desk as she leaves a slime trail out the back of her chair.


                                            >Celestia circles around Twilight with her intimidating presence.

                                            >The curtains close and the door slams shut.

                                            >The world starts to grow larger for Twilight.


                                            "If you can't focus on your studies I shall have to give you a real world demonstration."


                                            >Celestia's voice is commanding and filled with authority but with a sweet and saucy breathiness to it.

                                            >The page is lightly stained with ketchup.

                                            >Laying out her naturally massive body Celestia stretches against the table.


                                            "Oh how I've longed for my teacher, Princess Celestia!"


                                            >Twilight is lifted by magic onto the Princess's neck where she can feel every rapid heart beat from her relatively and perspectively engorged arteries.

                                            >You start to skim through the next few pages, and the next, and more.

                                            >Twilight really drags out this sex scene in her book.

                                            >It just keeps going on for several pages reading more like her learning about the pony body than an intimate encounter.

                                            >Suppose that she just gets off on her medical literary accuracy, this would be the greatest smut you've ever read.

                                            >You wouldn't put it past your mind that she repurposed this for an actual report on anatomy.

                                            >Minus the unbirthing and vore sections Twilight included.

                                            >The story ends abruptly too.

                                            >Twilight finishes her exploration of Celestia's body then just falls asleep nuzzled up on her chest.

                                            >No aftermath, no pillow talk, no dialogue stinger for a cliffhanger, she just goes to bed at the end.

                                            >Looking back through the pages you're not even sure if either of them had a climax.

                                            >And the the title was a total bait 'n' switch.

                                            >What a rip off.

                                            >With a sigh you start randomly flipping through the book for another story.

                                            >There's one that's marked with a ribbon.

                                            >"How To Live With Love"


                                            >The first page of the story has little stains over the paper.

                                            >It again starts with Twilight practicing her magic in

                                            >Or attempting to at least.

                                            >She's distracted.

                                            >Every spell she tries to cast barely even lights her horn.

                                            >She can't focus with all her thoughts on Princess Celestia.

                                            >The lovely princess.

                                            >The beautiful.

                                            >With an intimidating, overwhelming presence but caring and kind.

                                            >It's almost like the smut you just read but much more heartfelt and innocent.

                                            >The way she writes love instead of lust.

                                            >It's poetic instead of dry.

                                            >Even you start getting that butterfly feeling in your stomach.

                                            >Twilight spends a lot of prose on how great Celestia is, how attractive, and a slew of other affectionate adjectives.

                                            >She ends up wasting her whole time to study as the time to set the sun creeps close.

                                            >Which means it's time to go watch the princess perform her daily ritual.

                                            >The best part of every day.

                                            >Twilight sneaks by the throne room to catch a peek through the door.


                                            "Oh Celestia, you truly are divine. How like a Goddess."


                                            >She absolutely worships her.

                                            >A memory pops into her head.

                                            >Another time she was playing peeping Tom with her brother and Princess Cadence.

                                            >When they held each other, kissed each other, embraced each other.

                                            >The way they loved each other, that's the way you want to love Celestia.

                                            >You mean that's the way Twilight wants to love Celestia.

                                            >You are getting sucked into this story.

                                            >Some of which feels like it would be based off an actual experience Twilight had.

                                            >She probably did catch her brother with his girlfriend.

                                            >This is one part diary one part fantasy, an extremely personal and private insight into Twilight.

                                            >So you keep reading anyway.


                                            >Twilight breathes heavily into the door spying on Celestia.

                                            >Every movement she makes is made with intent, absolutely no inefficient waste.

                                            >So elegant, so perfect.

                                            >The Princess finishes her ritual and Twilight scampers off to home.

                                            >Twilight dreams of Celestia, doing all the things together she wish they could.

                                            >She doesn't sleep very long, she always wakes before the sun is up so she can watch it rise with her favorite teacher.

                                            >This morning is no different.

                                            >After scarfing down stale hay with no milk she breaks for the castle.

                                            >And just like always Celestia is there in all her radiance.

                                            >She's about to start when,


                                            "Twilight is that you?"


                                            >Twilight freezes up and almost vomits in shock.


                                            "If that's you behind the door you can just come inside. Were you watching me bring up the sun?"


                                            >If she wasn't struck in a stone like trance Twilight might have squee'd at that offer.

                                            >Instead she just sort of mumbles gibberish.


                                            "Don't be shy my student."


                                            >Celestia gently pulls Twilight into the throne room with her magic.

                                            >The guards give funny looks and quiet snickers at her.

                                            >The Princess smiles at them and shoos them away.

                                            >They look unsure as she insists they take a break, she will be fine with Twilight.

                                            >Begrudgingly they abandon their posts.

                                            >When the room is quiet Celestia looks at Twilight who has been paralyzed thus far.


                                            "I know you watch me every morning Twilight."


                                            >Twilight starts crying.


                                            >Celestia chuckles softly and uses her wings to wipe the tears from Twilight's face.


                                            "You don't have to feel guilty my student. There's nothing wrong with what you did."

                                            "But I spied on you!"


                                            >Twilight finally blurts out.

                                            >But Celestia doesn't get mad or yell.

                                            >Instead she wraps Twilight in massive wings.

                                            >Twilight keeps crying into them while Celestia calmingly coos to her.

                                            >The sun is still not out and maybe a smart pony would have noticed by now.


                                            "Would you like to watch me up close Twilight?"


                                            >She nods and is pulled close against Celestia's chest.

                                            >It's very warm, smells exactly like what sunshine would, it feels just right.

                                            >Feels like a place to belong.

                                            >She raises her horn skywards and with, brings the Sun anew and the moon down below the horizon.

                                            >Every hair on Twilight's body feels like lightning has been shot through it.

                                            >You feel every breath of Princess Celestia's body, every exhale pressing into you and every inhale pulling you in.

                                            >Damn it you mean Twilight.

                                            >Are you blushing?

                                            >What time is it?

                                            >How long have you been reading in the basement?

                                            >You go upstairs to check through the windows and, to your dismay, see it's dark out.

                                            >Screaming ponies have been replaced with cricket chirps and the occasional wagon rolling past.

                                            >It would probably be a bad idea to keep reading at this point.


                                            "Spike! Twilight could be home soon go put that book away!"

                                            "Crap!"


                                            >He lets out a girly yelp when he too realizes the time.


                                            "And watch your language."


                                            >The both of you put the volumes back in a panic making sure they're in the right place.

                                            >Then you scatter upstairs to try and not look like you were just violating your friend's trust.

                                            >You grab a book and plant your ass down on the stairs to read.

                                            >Only moments later does Twilight come through the door looking exhausted.


                                            "Anon? What are you doing here?

                                            "I came by to check out this book, 'Buck Him Wild: A Hooves-On Guide to Pleasuring Your Stallion in Bed'"


                                            >Great now you're gay.


                                            "But then I, uh, saw that Spike was here by himself and thought I should keep an eye on him while you were dealing with that nonsense outside."

                                            "Oh. Well thank you so much for watching Spike."


                                            >Twilight says chuckling at you, then a glazed glare from her tired eyes.

                                            >Best not to linger after spilling your spaghetti so hard.

                                            >You wish her a good night and shuffle out the door before she can interrogate you.

                                            >Spending all day reading you didn't even notice how hungry you were.

                                            >Good thing you have an ever stocked supply of stale noodles to eat at home.

                                            >You fast walk home to eat your bachelor chow alone before hitting the hay.


                                            >Morning starts and like every other one you eat your cold cereal alone.

                                            >You brush your teeth alone.

                                            >You spank your ham to smudged and crumpled depictions of pony ass alone.

                                            >Something inside stirs, a desire and a need to go back and read more of your friend's self insert fiction.

                                            >There's no way to explain it but you feel physically compelled to read it no matter how bad, wish fulfilling, or depraved it is.

                                            >After cleaning yourself up you leave for the library again.

                                            >Everything seems calm in Ponyville.

                                            >No natural disasters, no dragon attacks, no magical plague.

                                            >You spy through the window and see Twilight hanging about reading.


                                            "Damn it."


                                            >You'll never be able to sneak back into the basement as long as nothing is going on.

                                            >But starting a minimum town wide tragedy would be incredibly unethical.

                                            >What could even be done?

                                            >You could try forming a cult against Celestia to resurrect an ancient evil.

                                            >Or maybe insidiously spreading depression and anger through the townsponies on a scale that would cause real world effects on friendship and magic.

                                            >You could also simply set fire to some houses.

                                            >There's a sudden tap on your shoulder.

                                            >You dive into the library exterior face first.

                                            >The pain washes over you immediately.


                                            "Hi Nonny!"


                                            >It's Pinkie Pie.

                                            >Before you look at her you check the window to see if Twilight had noticed the sudden thud on her house.

                                            >She is completely un-phased, used to Dash crashing into her home probably.

                                            >You turn your attention to the pink baker.


                                            "Uh, hi Pinkie. What are you up to?"

                                            "Spying on Twilight."

                                            "What? Why would you do that?"

                                            "I always spy on her every Saturday, Sunday, and alternating Mondays."


                                            >You open your mouth to speak but no words come out.

                                            >The ways of Pinkie are mysterious but convenient.

                                            >Be thankful that she doesn't ask you why you would stalk your mutual friend.


                                            "Do you know when she might leave the house and for how long today?"

                                            "Yeah! Totally, she's gonna take her Smarty Pants doll out to eat alone in the woods. She'll leave around noon and spend a few hours with it."


                                            >Heh.

                                            >Twilight takes her doll on dates, what a loser.


                                            "Would you like to spy together Nonny?"

                                            "No that's ok I think I'll just come back later."

                                            "So you can go through her stuff while she's gone?"

                                            "I-uh-er, no?"


                                            >Pinkie gets right in your face.

                                            >She's looking directly into your eyes and almost makes literal eye contact with you.

                                            >All while she keeps a big smile plastered across.


                                            "Ok!"


                                            >Nopony seems to notice the two of you having this exchange outside the library window.

                                            >Pinkie must have some sort of reality bending power that makes other ponies ignore her acting weird.

                                            >You leave Pinkie while she continues to stare at you as you walk away.


                                            >Time flies by while you wait at a local diner.

                                            >Most of the food is, undesirable, but that's just how pony cuisine is.

                                            >At least you can get a good buzz going from locally sourced, Sweet Apple Acres™, home brewed cider.

                                            >That's what it says on the can anyways.

                                            >Repeatedly sneaking into the library and stealing looks into Twilight's very personal writing has driven you to drink.

                                            >Not that you're gonna stop but you were feeling a little bad about it.

                                            >Or maybe you just need a couple pints of confidence enhancers.

                                            >Either way the mare serving you gives a judgmental glare after bringing your 5th refill.


                                            "What are you looking at ya silly filly?"


                                            >The words slur out as you clumsily shove the table.

                                            >You leave on your own accord no matter what the stallion manager would say.

                                            >You did not spit at the young waitress when she said "Ew".

                                            >You did not start throwing your empty cans.

                                            >You definitely didn't tip though.

                                            >By now Twilight should be out with her date, the doll.

                                            >You head back to the library and see a sign on the door this time.

                                            >"Out to lunch, if you can read this sorry"

                                            >It's almost as if the universe is telling you not to do this.

                                            >Anyways you climb through the window.

                                            >Spike doesn't appear to be home.

                                            >You stumble down the stairs and trip on the last few.

                                            >Almost hitting your head on the table you grip something and use it to stand back up and balance yourself.

                                            >Is that Volume 1?


                                            >You're intoxicated eyes don't deceive you.

                                            >It is the same book you were reading last night.

                                            >Convenient that Twilight was reading it too this morning.

                                            >And left it out.

                                            >There is absolutely nothing suspicious about this scenario.

                                            >Now where were you, breaking and entering.

                                            >You turn back to the page you left off at.

                                            >Twilight and Celestia were cuddling in the throne room as Celestia was finishing her royal responsibilities.

                                            >The tears from Twilight's eyes had dried but she was still rubbing her face into The Princess's warm chest.


                                            "Would you like to tell me what you're thinking about Twilight?"


                                            >She had been feeling hard pressed to find the right words.

                                            >Twilight had been playing out this moment in her head ever since she first met Celestia, maybe even earlier.

                                            >How would anyone process their emotions when they've fallen for a goddess.

                                            >She worshipped her not like a religious figure, not like her mother even if Celestia gave her that resolute feeling of security.

                                            >This would be her one chance to say the right thing.


                                            "I love you."


                                            >The words come out quiet, with almost no force of breath behind them.

                                            >Like a raspy cry after finishing a marathon.


                                            "I love you too."

                                            "Princess I mean it, I love you so much more than could be said."

                                            "Twilight it-"


                                            >Twilight interrupts with a stomp, "I long for you, I worship you, I NEED you."


                                            >Celestia lets out a sigh and fully surrounds Twilight in her wings, the room dims.

                                            >Her head cranes under her feathers and meets Twilight's eyes.

                                            >And then it ends.

                                            >The pages have been torn out

                                            >It just cuts right to the next story, Journey to the Cest (Mom x Shining x Me)

                                            >You flip through the whole volume looking for them.

                                            >Flipping it upside down and shaking it looking for any loose papers.

                                            >You get on the ladder and go search the other volumes.

                                            >Rattling and shaking each one looking for the missing ending.

                                            >But you're still a little dizzy from your day drinking.

                                            >And you can't stay still on the top of the ladder.

                                            >All it takes is a second for it to all go black.

                                            >You're not sure how long you've been on the floor or who pissed your pants when you open your eyes again.

                                            >But you are sure who's voice that is.


                                            "So what did you think Anon?"


                                            "What are you talking about ya crazy horse?"


                                            >Twilight lifts you up with her magic and gently sets you down in a chair, but rudely shoves it with you into the table.

                                            >Your new favorite book is before you.


                                            "My personal collection. I know what you've been doing Anon."

                                            "Never in my life would I go behind my best friend's back and break into her house, which is really public property, to stick my nose into her most personal and private creation."

                                            "Right."


                                            >Twilight opens the book to the ribbon bookmark.

                                            >It doesn't open to How To Live With Love.


                                            "'How to Train Your Slave Dragon', that's not what I left my bookmark."


                                            >The words come out with her usual sing song sarcasm.

                                            >Now you're starting to sweat.

                                            >You're supposed to be an intelligent evolved lifeform.

                                            >Compared to most of your neighbors.

                                            >How could you be so stupid to forget such an obvious and foreshadowed detail that would clue in Twilight.


                                            "So tell me, Anon, what did you think?"

                                            "Well uh, I only read a few and one of them is missing the ending. They're all incredibly weird and most of them are degenerate perversion."


                                            >Twilight's eyes drop to the floor and she fidgets her hooves.

                                            >She's gonna cry.


                                            "But I can't stop reading them."

                                            "O-oh?"

                                            "Yeah. I even started breaking in here to read them."

                                            "I know about that too," she let out with a sniffle.

                                            "I bet that bit with Pinkie stalking you was a set up."

                                            "Pinkie stalks me?"


                                            >Twilight furrows her brow when she processes what you just said.


                                            "So why is the ending ripped out from that one story?"


                                            >Twilight looks around the room with her eyes searching for a good answer.


                                            "I've never been able to pick one I like. The original ending was really self-serving. Then I wrote a different one when I was going through my teenage years about how we could never be together. By now I've probably rewritten that ending more than I have any other story combined."


                                            >Twilight takes the book with her magic and places it back on the top shelf.


                                            "Finding the right words to describe how I feel about the princess is a Griffyphean task. And as such I just keep writing up that hill."

                                            "You seemed pretty protective about your writing not too long ago. What's changed?"

                                            "Well you already broke into my basement already."


                                            >Now you're the one staring at your feet and fidgeting.


                                            "I guess it gets lonely keeping this all to myself. And there's absolutely, positively no one else I'd show this too. They'd run me out of town if everypony knew what I was writing about them. You're the only friend I have, the only person I know who's weird enough."

                                            "So what you just assume I'm an autistic degenerate?"


                                            >Twilight snickers smugly.


                                            "Is there somepony in town who would meticulously run a fictional prostitution ring involving shameful interspecies tastes BESIDES you?"


                                            >The both of you become quiet.

                                            >Very quiet.

                                            >If there was yet another person watching, you would have heard their heart beat.

                                            >Twilight breaks the silence first.

                                            >She takes down one of the later volumes and sets it before you.


                                            "So would you like to keep reading then? I've never had someone give me feedback."


                                            >A thought crosses, your friendship with Twilight could get really awkward if you said no after she dropped all this baggage on you.

                                            >It could be awkward reading what is 90% erotica about herself and telling what you thought.

                                            >But you also really do want to keep reading.

                                            >Maybe she takes requests.


                                            "Twilight I would love to."

                                            "Great, but I want you to read this one first."


                                            >In a flash Twilight flips her book to a title page.


                                            "It's about Big Mac and his cousin Braeburn. I call it Sweet Asshole Acres."


                                            >You giggle like an idiot when she says it out loud.

                                            >There's a short look of nervousness when you do on her face.

                                            >But then she giggles with you at the absurdity.

                                            >Lightening up, but still a little tense, she takes a seat next to you at the table.

                                            >You take the book and go over the header.

                                            >Sweet Asshole Acres, with Big Mac and Braeburn's names in parentheses under it.

                                            >And of course, Twilight's.