Therapeutic


                                            Written by Smudgey

                                            https://pastebin.com/dS6bwPLP


                                            "...And how does that make you feel?"

                                            >You listen to your own voice repeat the same question you've found yourself asking ad nauseam for the better half of a year.

                                            >"How does... Twilight have you even been listening to me!?"

                                            >Tapping your pencil against your notepad, you adjust your reading glasses and look at the man currently haphazardly lounging on your couch that is two sizes too small to fit him.

                                            "Anonymous, how many times do I have to tell you; when we're having your sessions it's *Ms. Sparkle*."

                                            >Despite what you think is a more than reasonable request, he still hisses out an answer through stubbornly grit teeth.

                                            >"Well *MISS* Sparkle, it's been months and NOTHING has changed. In fact, it's gotten worse!"

                                            >Nine months and twelve days to be precise.

                                            >That's how long ago Anon arrived in Equestria and for eight of those months you've been offering him weekly therapy sessions in an attempt to help him acclimatize to his new environment.

                                            >Letting out a sigh, you clean a smudge off your glasses.

                                            >To say the process has been bumpy would be an understatement.

                                            >Still lying down, he raises both of his elbows above his hips and gestures his hands toward the window in front of both of you, presumably toward the source of his frustrations.

                                            >"Everyday, every god-damn-day Twilight."

                                            >You try to correct his lack of consideration towards your title once again, but his rant cuts you off.

                                            >"Everyday I have to deal with Fluttershy and her messed up concept of courting."

                                            >Groaning mentally, you scratch off the note you wrote down that said "Progress?" from the top of your notepad and punctuate it with a frowny face.

                                            "Again with the Fluttershy talk, Anonymous when are we going to help you get past this stigma of yours? It's far from healthy."

                                            >At your unsympathetic response, you notice his face burn up a little in anger.

                                            >You've grown used to it by now.

                                            >"We'll "get past" this when it finally stops happening! For heaven's sake, she sent me to the chaos dimension last week."

                                            >You retort without missing a beat.

                                            "Which Discord claims he didn't even do."

                                            >The human drops his arms back down; placing one on his across his chest and the other on the floor due to lack of space, and audibly groans in irritation.

                                            >"Of course he would say that, he's freaking DISCORD!"

                                            >Biting the inside of your cheek, you notice a mild headache is swelling up in your head from all this shouting.

                                            >Standard fair, you've come to expect it at around this point in the sessions.

                                            "Be that as it may, you--"

                                            >"DISCORD, TWILIGHT!"

                                            >You make a mental note to brew some of your usual soothing tea after this session is finished.

                                            >Taking a deep breath, you collect yourself.

                                            "... Anonymous, you've made countless unfounded claims this past year against Fluttershy's good name and not once have you ever shown a shred of solid evidence to substantiate them."

                                            >He tries sitting up to protest, but you force him to lay back down with your magic.

                                            >He glares at you like a child that doesn't want to go to bed early, but you refuse to indulge his attitude, instead opting to continue writing notes.

                                            >"She's a menace Twilight and there's TONS of evidence! Every single day there's a mountain of evidence! How many dildos do you think she's given me this month alone?"

                                            "It's Ms. Spark--"

                                            >"Too many Twilight! That's how many! Hell, what kind of freak even needs more than a couple?"

                                            >Focusing on your breathing exercises, you try to answer him in a professional manner.

                                            "Everypony's tastes are different, sexuality is a healthy, natural thing and there's nothing wrong with having a variety of interests."

                                            >"They aren't mine Twilight."

                                            >You've given up correcting how he addresses you at this point.

                                            "Be that as it may, it still doesn't change the fact that those items could belong to *anypony*."

                                            >Taking a moment, you pause on that last word to give him a subtle, yet clearly accusatory glance.

                                            >Clearly not pleased, he blows a raspberry dismissively.

                                            >"Yeah right, and how many do YOU have exactly?"

                                            >Ignoring his snarky response, you turn away from him to check the clock and see how much longer the two of you have, noting you don't have much time left for today's session..

                                            >Nodding to yourself, you begin writing down your pre-plan notes for next week's session.

                                            "My private life is quite frankly none of your business."

                                            >He snorts loudly and gives you a pompous look.

                                            >"Let me guess, the only dildo you own was a joke gift you received from a friend years ago and it's been sitting in your sock drawer all this time because you've always been too intimidated to actually use it."

                                            >Embarrassment immediately flushes your face as your eyes go wide in surprise.

                                            "T-That's not--"

                                            >Not paying attention to your grip, the lead of your pencil snaps loudly and causes you to hack and choke as you accidentally inhale it while trying to speak.

                                            "ACK!"

                                            >Watching you flail and struggle, the man who is unsympathetic to your plight simply chuckles at your misfortune.

                                            >"Heh heh heh, nailed it."

                                            >As you cough up the foreign fragment lodged in your throat, you glare at him as he does a smug fist pump to himself while chuckling incessantly.

                                            >Despite your best efforts, you lose a bit of your temper.

                                            "That does it! It's clear you haven't been making any progress at all!"

                                            >Even though you shout, which is a somewhat rare event for you, you find him unperturbed as he shrugs his shoulders at you mockingly.

                                            >"Well duh, how do you expect anything to change when you never do anything to actually fix the problem?"

                                            >Readjusting yourself to recover some semblance of composure, you talk back to him in a somewhat smug "matter-of-fact" tone.

                                            "Funny you should ask, I've been thinking the exact same thing for quite a while now, and I finally settled on a solution to this conundrum."

                                            >He scoffs loudly and rolls his eyes.

                                            >"Oh this should be good."

                                            "I've scheduled a dinner date for us."

                                            >He pauses for a moment, seemingly sorting out some kind of confusion in his mind.

                                            >"Whoa whoa whoa... slow down there, I've already got one pony trying to wine and dine me, I don't need another."

                                            >He chuckles at you mockingly as he quickly regains his faculties.

                                            >You grimace and bite your cheek to keep yourself from saying something unprofessional.

                                            >You should probably kick that habit before you tear a hole in your mouth.

                                            "Well that's perfectly fine, because Fluttershy will also be joining us. In fact I already took the liberty of giving her the details ahead of time."

                                            >It's only when you utter those last words that his irritating chuckling finally goes silent as his eyes shrink with fear.

                                            >"You did WHAT?"

                                            >You smile at his expression of despair and continue chiding him with your favorite matter-of-factly tone.

                                            "I'll admit she was a bit reluctant over the idea. It took a bit of prying, but I wouldn't take no for answer."

                                            >"Are you insane!?! I've told you about how she's tried to drug me; on multiple occasions I'd like to remind you! Remember when she secretly fed me ground up paralysis root extract so I couldn't run away? I couldn't walk for weeks!"

                                            >Flipping through previous pages of your notepad, you spot the section he was referring to which you had highlighted with red sharpie.

                                            "Ah yes that was quite the stunt wasn't it? You even had the medical ponies fooled that time."

                                            >It was almost as impressive as it was sad that he'd go to such lengths of self harm just to get attention.

                                            >You really couldn't fathom how that must feel sometimes.

                                            >"You're a real bitch, you know that?"

                                            "And you're more stubborn than a mule. Neither changes the fact that you're going to be having dinner with two lovely mares tomorrow evening."

                                            >"Don't flatter yourself, and there's no way I'd ever willingly share a meal with that pest."

                                            >He replied so quickly you can't help but roll your eyes.

                                            "Indeed, which is why I will be accompanying the both of you, to act as a mediator of sorts. A pleasant meal over some light dinner conversation is just the thing the two of you need to settle your differences and with a little help from an unbiased pony's opinion; maybe you'll even finally be able to see eye to eye and come to realize a newfound respect for each other."

                                            >Despite your genuinely earnest words, you're forced to let out a sigh as he rudely scoffs at you in protest.

                                            >"Unbiased my ass, I wholeheartedly refuse!"

                                            >Standing up from his resting spot, he seemingly decides to make his leave.

                                            >As he tries to head out the door and exit, you magically grab the back of his collar and pull him back, holding him in place.

                                            "Well that's too bad, because this is going to be a mandatory lesson."

                                            >Walking up next to him, you look up and stare at him with dead serious expression.

                                            "I didn't want it to come to this Anonymous, but your allotted time to familiarize yourself within Equestria as an immigrant citizen has almost run dry. If you do not receive a letter of recommendation from your overseer, you will be extradited from the country and in case you've forgotten that overseer would be me."

                                            >Having slapped him with the cold hard facts of the law, it's your turn to give him a smug smile for once.

                                            >This is probably the first time you've ever thrown the figurative book at him, you've been pretty lenient on him in the past, but seeing him unable to come up with a witty remark is quite satisfying you must admit.

                                            >Flabbergasted, he stares at you as your statement processes in his mind.

                                            >"Wha-... but... you can't do that, I have rights!"

                                            "Not if you don't comply you won't."

                                            >As you watch him take a deep breath you quickly place a deafening spell over your ears.

                                            >"I HATE THIS PLACE!"

                                            >After one last fit of shouting, you watch as he finally quiets down, resigning to just breathing heavily instead.

                                            >Releasing the enchantment, you speak up to him in a more upbeat chipper tone.

                                            "Chin up Anonymous, just think of it like ripping off a worn out bandaid, perhaps confronting your fears head on will finally dissipate your unwarranted paranoia."

                                            >Having said what you wanted, you release your grip on him so he may head home to prepare his residence for welcoming guests instead of shunning them away for once.

                                            "We're all going to grow a little as adults from this experience, and if all goes as planned I assure you; you'll be thanking me in the end."

                                            >Too tired to argue any longer, he gives up and slowly walks himself to the door.

                                            >As he makes to leave, you hear him grumble under his breath in protest.

                                            >"We'll see about that, won't we?"

                                            >Not a fan of giving him the last word, you add one more thing.

                                            "Oh and Anonymous."

                                            >He looks over his shoulder to see your satisfied smile.

                                            "Remember to wear something nice."

                                            >You're answered by having the door slammed in your face.


                                            >"I still don't think this is a good idea Twilight..."

                                            >You can feel your brow furrow slightly in disappointment.

                                            >Why does nopony ever seem to have any confidence in your plans lately?

                                            "Come on Fluttershy, this will be good for the both of you, and I'll be there with you the whole time."

                                            >Despite the fact that you both are currently standing at his front door, she's been insisting against knocking on it and announcing her presence.

                                            "Fluttershy we're already here, you gotta take that first step towards progress."

                                            >Even though you place a hoof on her shoulder as comfort, she still looks away from you timidly.

                                            >"I don't want to do this, it isn't going to end well..."

                                            >Instead of replying, you answer her with a stern, but calm glare; one a parent would give to their misbehaving child.

                                            "It's going to be okay Fluttershy, we all agreed to do this. It's just going to be a normal evening of light conversation over dinner between three responsible adults."

                                            >Whimpering, the yellow pony meekly lifts her hoof up towards the solid oak door, before immediately turning around and attempting to flee.

                                            >You groan out loud in annoyance.

                                            "UGG!"

                                            >Mentally lassoing the worrywart, you drag her back next to you by the tip of her tail.

                                            "This is going to be more work than I thought."

                                            >Taking the lead, you knock on the door for her instead.

                                            >As you wait for the house's current resident to answer, you do your best to smooth out Fluttershy's mane and tail so it looks presentable.

                                            >Sitting in silence for an uncomfortably long time, you finally get fed up and shout.

                                            "ANON WE KNOW YOU'RE HOME, OPEN UP!"

                                            >After another short pause, you hear the sounds of several house locks being unlatched, after which he opens the door a faint crack and looks at both of you.

                                            >"No solicitors."

                                            >With that brief exchange he slams the door back shut and proceeds to lock all his various latches once more.

                                            >As he does so, you hear Fluttershy let out a sigh of relief.

                                            >"Oh well looks like he changed his mind, guess we'll just have to try anothe--"

                                            >Before she can finish her sentence you teleport the two of you inside the household.

                                            >With a crackling pop, you appear before Anonymous who is standing in front of you with a not-so-pleased look on his face.

                                            "Gee Anonymous, thanks for being such a *gracious* host, I sure hope you don't mind us taking the liberty of letting ourselves in."

                                            >Through a locked-jaw smile he forces out a reply spiced with subtle angry vitriol.

                                            >"Of course, what kind of a host would I be if let my guests wait outside."

                                            >You hear a weak answer to his rhetorical question.

                                            >"A bad one?"

                                            >You can almost hear the bones in his neck crack as he turns and stares daggers at Fluttershy.

                                            >She cowers behind you.

                                            >Before it can escalate any further, you try to diffuse the tension.

                                            "Oh yes Fluttershy, didn't you have something you wanted to give Anon?"

                                            >She stares at you in confusion for a moment before she remembers the package she was carrying.

                                            >"Oh...OH! Yes um... t-this is for you."

                                            >As she hands him the parcel she barely manages to murmur out what it contains.

                                            >"It's um... a fruit salad, I wasn't sure what you'd like made so I just went with what I thought would taste best."

                                            >She mumbles out each word while averting her gaze and staring down at the floor.

                                            >Holding the overly colorful foodstuff in his hands, he speaks up with an oppressively dry and monotone voice while looking away from her disinterestedly.

                                            >"Oh joy, you two can share it during dinner."

                                            >Disregarding his rude remark, you look at him with a bit of genuine surprise.

                                            "Wait, you actually cooked dinner for us?"

                                            >For a brief moment you notice his cheek flinch in what you assume is irritation as he looks at you incredulously.

                                            >"Of course not, I cooked my own dinner, I do eat you know."

                                            "I'm surprised you even know how to cook."

                                            >He huffs gruffly.

                                            >"What do you take me for a neanderthal?"

                                            >Sometimes you wonder...

                                            >You always pictured Anon to be the type of person that would think knowing how to cook simply meant having the foresight to order pizza delivery ahead of time.

                                            "Well I hope you at least made enough to share with your guests."

                                            >For a moment he glances between you and Fluttershy.

                                            >"Hmph, I suppose I have enough to scrap together a portion for each of you."

                                            >A meek voice pipes up beside you.

                                            >"Oh... that's okay, I don't eat very much."

                                            >She immediately goes back to looking at the floor when he doesn't offer her a reply.

                                            >This is bad, you can tell Fluttershy is already feeling discouraged and the evening hasn't even begun.

                                            >Time to nip this is in the bud.

                                            "Well that sounds lovely, Anonymous could you escort us to the dining room?"

                                            >Even when you try to be polite, he still somehow takes offense to your choice of words.

                                            >"Oh I'm sorry, right this way your *majesty*."

                                            >Doing an overly flamboyant bow, he gestures toward his dining room with a frown plastered across his face for the both of you to plainly see.

                                            >Sometimes you wish you could just smack that expression right off his face.

                                            >Keeping those less than pleasant thoughts to yourself, you proceed to follow Fluttershy into the dining room, but not before levitating the package Anon was still holding back over to your possession for safe keeping.

                                            >It wouldn't surprise you if he tried to dispose of Fluttershy's hard work, but this gift is a key ingredient to fixing this relationship.

                                            >You'll make sure everyone enjoys it together even if it's the last thing you do.

                                            >Loud grumbles emanate from behind you as the lumbering oaf reluctantly follows.


                                            >As you and your companion politely seat yourselves at Anonymous' modest dining table, you watch as he unwillingly brings out two more sets of dining ware for the two of you.

                                            >Apparently, he had really been planning to eat alone tonight.

                                            >You sigh internally.

                                            >They're both so stubborn in their own ways, Anon in his rudeness and Fluttershy in her cowardice.

                                            >What would it take to help these two blossom into a healthy relationship?

                                            >Pondering these woes, you watch as Anonymous begins to set down numerous food stuffs.

                                            >A pot of hearty looking stew, fresh corn on the cob, fragrant buttery mashed potatoes along with what looks to be steamed beets.

                                            >As he continues placing more and more various items down, the sight staggers you when you realize he intended to eat all of this by himself.

                                            >Just how much do humans eat?

                                            >Whenever you asked Anonymous how much he ate he'd always reply "enough".

                                            >Despite any misgivings you may have against the man, you had to admit all of this looked quite delectable.

                                            >For once this was actually a very welcome surprise coming from him.

                                            "I must say Anonymous, I am quite impressed. I never took you for a chef."

                                            >Despite your attempt to lighten his mood, he doesn't look up at you as he methodically places a bit of each on his plate.

                                            >"Father always told me a man worth his salt can season any meal."

                                            >Walking back over to the head of the table, he sits down and begins wordlessly digging into his food.

                                            >Seems he didn't plan on serving either of you, but that was alright, you could make up for his slack.

                                            >Levitating the serving utensils, you fill out a modestly smaller portion for Fluttershy and yourself.

                                            >She wordlessly nods to you in thanks before nervously tapping her hooves together and quietly glancing at Anonymous.

                                            >Seems like she was checking for permission first.

                                            >Despite that, Anonymous is completely ignoring her and she refuses to speak up to get his attention.

                                            >Geez, this is never going to get anywhere if they keep pretending to walk on eggshells like this.

                                            >Levitating a spoonful of stew, you shove it in Fluttershy's mouth and try to get the conversation rolling.

                                            "So Fluttershy, how do you feel about your current lifestyle, is everything going alright?"

                                            >Slightly choking on the stew you caught her off guard with, she attempts to stammer out a reply.

                                            >"It's... It's been different, my life has changed a lot recently."

                                            >That wasn't the answer you were expecting, normally patients open with some banter about the weather no one actually cares about.

                                            >Suspicious...

                                            "Would you say your problems have been stemming from your association with Anonymous?"

                                            >When you mention his name she suddenly clams up and refuses to answer, instead opting to take a sip of her drink to wash down what little food she had managed to consume.

                                            >Despite that, for a brief moment you catch her glance at Anon mid sip before hurriedly looking away.

                                            >Spotting that tell, you steer the conversation toward that issue and press her for details.

                                            "It's okay Fluttershy, this is a safe space. I'm sure Anonymous has many things to say on the matter, but I wish to hear your side of the story for once."

                                            >Idly poking a piece of food with a fork she had no intention of actually putting in her mouth, she lethargically mumbles out her reply.

                                            >"Well... it's been hard, since the day I met Anon; ponies have been distancing themselves from me more and more lately."

                                            >Catching herself, she waves her hooves in front of herself in an attempt to assure you it's not as bad as it sounds.

                                            >"O-Of course that's perfectly fine, everypony's entitled to talk to whomever they want, besides I'm used to being alone..."

                                            >As she says that, she glances at Anonymous out of the corner of her eye once more, but he appears to be more interested in his meal than contributing to the conversation.

                                            >She lets out a weak sigh.

                                            >Not wanting the conversation to lose steam, you hit her with a fastball.

                                            "So what's your relationship with Anonymous?"

                                            >You notice her visibly tense up at you're sudden question.

                                            >"We're... We're good friends, I make sure to visit him everyday!"

                                            >You raise an eyebrow at that particular statement.

                                            "So his claims of you soliciting his doorstep each morning were true then?"

                                            >Not expecting this line of questioning, she begins to stutter even more as her tension rises.

                                            >"N-No, well yes, but--"

                                            >You cut her off to save her before she trips over her words any further.

                                            "Does he enjoy your daily visits?"

                                            >She pauses for a moment, seemingly putting a great deal of thought in how she's going to answer.

                                            >"Well... no, but I always try my best to make him happy ever since he--"

                                            >She suddenly trails off, for a moment you wonder why she silenced herself until you notice Anonymous silently glaring at her as he chews his food.

                                            >"No no go ahead Fluttershy, continue to regale her with your oh-so-lovely tales of our day to day lives, should I bring out a scrapbook of our misadventures together to get the ball rolling?"

                                            >Oh for Celestia's sake.

                                            "Anon, we promised this was going to be a safe and welcoming environment."

                                            >Swallowing his mouthful of food, he rudely points his fork at you.

                                            >"No you were the one who promised that, I recall having no say in the matter."

                                            >He takes a moment to grab another mouthful of corn before continuing.

                                            >"Since when is it a crime to speak to someone at the dinner table anyway?"

                                            >For the love of...

                                            >You thought you had more fortitude than this, but your patience is already beginning to wear thin.

                                            >Perhaps it's time to take a different approach.

                                            "Anon you're like a durian."

                                            >He looks at you, confused for a moment.

                                            >"A wha--"

                                            "You look prickly on the outside, you stink on the inside, but if you actually gave people a chance; they might eventually come to enjoy your flavor."

                                            >When he finally understands what you're trying to imply, his eyes look away from you dismissively.

                                            >"Yeah well I'd rather not have people "tasting my flavor" thank you very much."

                                            >He glares at Fluttershy as you roll your eyes and look up at the ceiling to let out a groan of mental exhaustion.

                                            "It's a metaphor you jerk."

                                            >"Simile actually."

                                            >You pause for a moment, staring at the ceiling and blinking a couple times before looking back at him.

                                            "Come again?"

                                            >Stabbing a piece of sliced beet with his fork, he lazily lifts it up and points it towards you as it drips red ooze back onto his plate.

                                            >"That was a simile, a metaphor would be me saying you're a sneaky rat for setting up this date behind my back in the first place."

                                            >As you're about to reply, surprisingly Fluttershy is the one who interrupts you, speaking to Anonymous with a look of concern on her face.

                                            >"B-But wait, you mean... but I thought... wasn't this dinner your idea Anon?"

                                            >He looks at her incredulously.

                                            >"Excuse me? Why would I ever willingly ask you to join me for dinner?"

                                            >That's when you remember what you had told her earlier that week.

                                            >She had been reluctant to your idea from the start, so to get her to go along with it you told her it was actually Anon's plan to make amends with her.

                                            >He continues to dance around the issue while ignoring her pleading words, but no answer might as well be an answer at this point.

                                            >Taking the bullet before this escalates any further you nervously rub your shoulder as you speak up.

                                            "Ehehe... well this was actually kinda all my idea."

                                            >You place your hooves together apologetically.

                                            "Sorry~."

                                            >She slowly looks over at you, before sadly pursing he lips and looking down at her mostly uneaten meal.

                                            >"Oh... I see."

                                            >Silence fills the room once more.

                                            >This isn't good, at this rate the whole plan is going to be a complete failure and all your effort will be for naught.

                                            >Time for emergency measures.

                                            >Retrieving Fluttershy's package that you had been holding onto for safekeeping, you begin divvying up shares of the fruit salad for each of you.

                                            >When you go to place his portion down, Anon raises a hand in front of it.

                                            >"No thanks, I'll pass."

                                            >Despite his protests, you maneuver it around him and go out of your way to give him an even larger share than the rest of you.

                                            "Try it, it's good for you."

                                            >He pushes his plate slightly away from himself.

                                            >"I'm not hungry."

                                            >He says this, despite the fact he has only finished half of his meal.

                                            "Come on, you'll enjoy it if you just give it a taste."

                                            >You push his plate back towards him.

                                            >"I said I'm full."

                                            >He pushes it back.

                                            >As you both argue, Fluttershy doesn't look up at either of you, opting to stare down at her own plate with an expression of resignation and defeat written across her face.

                                            >"It's okay Twilight... I never expected Anon to eat it after all."

                                            >As she goes silent once more, your heart begins to ache in sympathy for her.

                                            >When you turn back to Anon, he's stealthily attempting to dump his portion into a potted plant beside him.

                                            >That does it, you are *done* playing nice.

                                            >After all the hard work Fluttershy has done for him, to see him slight her good intentions so blatantly is unforgivable.

                                            >To say you were irritated with him would be a mild understatement.

                                            >Silently, you place a sudden hold on his entire body with your magic.

                                            >His eyes look furious, but you make sure he can't make any sounds of protest.

                                            >While Fluttershy isn't looking, you levitate the share of dessert he was attempting to dispose of, pry his mouth open and begin shoving it down his throat in a manner somewhat akin to force feeding a dog that refuses to take its medicine.

                                            >He'd probably be throwing a conniption right about now if he physically could.

                                            >Once he's finally got it all down, you force his jaw shut and release your hold on him.

                                            "See Fluttershy, I told you he'd like it after giving it a try."

                                            >Upon hearing her name, she stops staring down at the table and looks up at you with a bit of mild confusion.

                                            >When you gesture towards Anon, she sees his dessert is gone and her eyes go wide with shock.

                                            >"You... you actually ate it? I didn't think... how... how was it?"

                                            >Through grit teeth, he hisses out a reply directed mainly at yourself.

                                            >"Delicious."

                                            >With a smug sense of personal victory, you smile at him as you begin eating your own dessert at a leisurely pace.

                                            "This really is quite delectable Fluttershy, did you pick the ingredients yourself?"

                                            >Prying her attention away from Anonymous, she tries to engage your idle chit chat.

                                            >"Oh my, um... yes I did, in fact I actually grew most of them myself."

                                            >You take another bite and bask in the tart, yet sweet flavors.

                                            >Holding a hoof to your cheek, you smile in delight.

                                            "No wonder it tastes so fresh."

                                            >Your compliments seems to brighten up her mood just a bit, which in turn lifts your mood as well.

                                            >"That's very nice of you to say, I've actually taken up gardening as bit of a small hobby lately."

                                            >You lean forward, assuring her she has your full attention.

                                            "Really, what brought on this sudden change?"

                                            >She blushes sheepishly.

                                            >"Well I've found myself becoming more and more lonely lately, so I've started practicing talking to plants in my spare time."

                                            >You stop yourself mid sip of your drink and tilt your head slightly in confusion.

                                            "You... you don't say? Is that something you normally do often?"

                                            >Even though her somewhat depressing statement has you marginally worried, you decide not to jump to conclusions quite yet.

                                            >She nods her head in what you assume to be her idea of enthusiastically, but in reality is the most barely noticeable, restrained movement ever.

                                            >"Oh my yes, people are always so busy, but plants have all the free time you could possibly hope for, and they are such good listeners! I can talk as much as I like and they never say anything mean or get bored. Did you know that plants actually grow better if you talk to them everyday?"

                                            >You actually remember reading an article that claimed to debunk that popular myth, but you decide not to mention it right now.

                                            "Wow Fluttershy, I never took you to have such a green hoof."

                                            >As you casually keep snacking on the sweet treat, you notice her genuinely smiling for the first time all evening.

                                            >She tries to hide it, but she's not very good at it.

                                            >"That's not true at all, there are ponies much better at it than I am."

                                            "Don't say that, I can tell you put a lot of care and love into this dish, you should be proud of yourself!"

                                            >She blushes deeply and offers her own quip for once.

                                            >"Well I do have a lot of love to give."

                                            >Covering her own mouth like she couldn't believe what she just said, it's unable to hide the childish giggling she's started to let out.

                                            >You can tell she's finally calming down and becoming relaxed, she's even beginning to talk much more earnestly now.

                                            >You can't help but giggle along with her.

                                            >Finally, progress is being made!

                                            "So is gardening fun for you?"

                                            >Perhaps this night can be salvaged after all.

                                            >"Oh yes, plants can be just as fragile as animals, they both take a lot of time and personal care. Did you even know that--"

                                            >*CLANG*

                                            >The two of you jump in your seats as the loud clatter of dining utensils startles both of you simultaneously, the conversation coming to a complete and utter halt.

                                            >When you turn to inspect the source of the commotion, what you find is Anon face down in his food, seemingly drowning in his unfinished mashed potatoes.

                                            "Damn it Anon, we were making good progress, maybe even close to a breakthrough. Why do you always act like this?"

                                            >When he doesn't reply, you groan in frustration.

                                            "Stop being a drama queen, it doesn't suit you, although I will admit acting like a child fits you to a *T*."

                                            >He still refuses to answer, so you magically grab his head and lift his face out of his self made muck.

                                            >His eyes are half open and unblinking, snot and drool are leaking down his face as well.

                                            >You roll your eyes disdainfully.

                                            "Oh please, give it a rest already, nopony's buying it--"

                                            >For some reason, in the middle of your rant your grip on Anon dissipates and he crashes back onto the table.

                                            "W-What the... what happened to my magic?"

                                            >When you take a deep breath, you notice your vision beginning to waver slightly.

                                            >Confused you turn to Fluttershy for help.

                                            "Fluttershy I think something is--"

                                            >As you turn to look at her, terror starts gripping hold of you.

                                            >Fluttershy is staring down at her half eaten meal, the color draining from her face as she shivers in fear and hyperventilates.

                                            >Sweat is starting to form all over her as she mumbles something unintelligible under her breath.

                                            "What in the world?"

                                            >As you feel yourself growing more and more exhausted, a flash of insight strikes you.

                                            >A certain snippet of Anon's words from your last session together echo out in your mind.

                                            >'...she's tried to drug me; on multiple occasions...'

                                            >Anon's food, could it have been tainted with something?

                                            >No it can't be, even if she refused to eat most of it, you made sure Fluttershy ate an entire helping of his stew to start the evening on the right track.

                                            >It was supposed to be a gesture of good will, but surely she would've been feeling some of the effects by now if it had been spiked with something.

                                            >And besides, there's no way Anon would spike his own food, that would ludicro--

                                            >As your strain of thought stumbles to a halt, suddenly the pieces of the puzzle start falling into place.

                                            >Putting drugs in your own food would be crazy... wouldn't it?

                                            >Slowly, you look down at your own mostly finished plate of food and then compare it to Fluttershy's precisely half-finished supper before breaking out into a cold sweat.

                                            >All that's left on her plate... is her salad.

                                            >Was that why she hardly touched any food all evening?

                                            >Was that why he tried to dispose of the salad she painstakingly made for tonight when he thought neither of you would notice?

                                            >Was that why he fought back so hard and struggled as you forced him to consume it anyway?

                                            >Oh gods, what have you done?

                                            "Fluttershy... you didn't."

                                            >At your sudden voice breaking the silence of the room, you notice her visibly flinch, but she still refuses to look you in the eye.

                                            >Your voice quivers as you plead to her for an answer.

                                            "Tell me you didn't!"

                                            >As you place your hooves on the table and try to stand up in the heat of the moment, your strength betrays you and you find them slipping out from beneath you.

                                            >Your upper half now sprawled across the table, you can't muster up the energy to move from that spot any longer.

                                            >All you can do is listen to Fluttershy's hushed ramblings.

                                            >"I'm sorry-I'm sorry-I'm sorry-I'm sorry."

                                            >You struggle to talk to her, but the best you can muster is a tired mumble.

                                            >You don't know if it'll get through to her, or if she'll even be honest with you, but you feel compelled to try.

                                            "Why... why do this? We were... so close..."

                                            >For a brief moment you see some clarity form in her eyes as her ramblings come to a quiet stop.

                                            >"I'm sorry Twilight."

                                            >As your eyelids unrelentingly start to close, you watch her take a dry gulp as a tear rolls down her cheek.

                                            >"... I had to."


                                            >As you slowly regain consciousness, your vision is greeted with an empty void of darkness.

                                            >Was there no light in this room? Surely whatever you ingested didn't cause you to go blind.

                                            >Oh Celestia, it's all coming back to you.

                                            >Fluttershy, what she did, you got to get out of here, wherever "here" even is!

                                            >As your faculties return to you, you attempt to stand up from where you're sitting, only to find your body has been firmly restrained to where you currently reside.

                                            >Restrained? Does that mean the reason you can't see is because you're blindfolded as well?

                                            >You flinch and feel what must be cloth covering your eyes.

                                            >Darn it, this is bad, really bad.

                                            >Who knows when she'll return, if at all, you gotta escape now while you still can.

                                            >With all your strength, you struggle against your bindings.

                                            >As you fight against your restraints, your chair begins to make a bit of noise as it shakes back and forth.

                                            >It's only a few seconds before a familiar masculine voice calls to you in a monotone murmur.

                                            >"Finally awake I see."

                                            >Despite how scared you currently are, having a voice tell you that at the very least you aren't alone has a mild calming effect on you.

                                            "Anonymous? I can't see, is that really you?"

                                            >After a brief pause you hear him let out a sigh as he answers you.

                                            >"Of course it is, who else would it be in this situation?"

                                            >You hurriedly press him for answers.

                                            "What happened, Fluttershy, did she do anything to you?"

                                            >His reply comes out dry and lifeless.

                                            >"Nope."

                                            >Despite his tone, you let out a somewhat distressed sigh of relief.

                                            "Oh thank Celestia you're okay."

                                            >As your psyche slips into a slight moment of relaxation, the gravity of the situation comes gnawing back at you.

                                            >You choke up a bit as you prepare for something you never thought you'd need to do today.

                                            "Anon... I'm sorry, I'm sorry for everything."

                                            >Hanging your head in defeat, you mumble in shame.

                                            "I'm scared Anon."

                                            >You wait for him to say something, anything, but he offers nothing.

                                            "You were right, about everything, I didn't want to believe... it seemed impossible, but everything you said about Fluttershy was true."

                                            >Sniffling, you try to hold back from outright bawling in front of the man.

                                            "I should've listened, taken your well-being and concerns more seriously, but I couldn't even fathom those ridiculous stories to have a single iota of truth."

                                            >You shake your head from side to side meaninglessly.

                                            "How could I? She's my friend Anon, I have to believe in her."

                                            >The cloth covering your eyes is beginning to feel damp, you wish you could wipe it off but your restraints unforgivably refuse to relent.

                                            "But this... this is too much."

                                            >Having mentally exhausted yourself to the brink, you sit still and let the oppressive quiet of the room sink in.

                                            >It isn't till a sudden noise echoes out that you come back to your senses.

                                            >A relieved breath followed by the sound of... clapping?

                                            >"Twilight, you have no idea how long I've waited to hear you say those words."

                                            >Wait a second, clapping? Does that mean his arms aren't tied like yours?

                                            >You don't even bother questioning him for answers, instead you call out to him, leaning forward in your chair in an almost desperate manner.

                                            "Anon hurry, untie me quickly!"

                                            >Despite your pleas he just keeps clapping.

                                            >"Finally... the last horse crosses the finish line."

                                            >When he doesn't untie you, you stop leaning in your chair, sitting back as your mind reels in confusion.

                                            "What? Anon w-what are you saying, we don't have time for this! We gotta get out of here before Fluttershy returns!"

                                            >You hear him let out an exacerbated chuckle.

                                            >"Oh you don't need to worry about that, after all... she's right here."

                                            >The blood in your veins freeze as his words creep into your head.

                                            "E-Excuse me?"

                                            >In one slow motion, dim light returns to your eyes as the blindfold is removed.

                                            >And as it is being pulled back, you slowly spot the last thing you wanted to see.

                                            >Fluttershy is standing in the back of the room, doing her best to hide in plain sight, but failing miserably.

                                            >Her eyes are bloodshot and swollen, as if she's been crying for hours.

                                            "But... But if she's here then--"

                                            >You're interrupted by a sudden outburst of wails from the mare in question.

                                            >Tears continuously spilling down her face, she croaks out a hoarse answer through her sore throat while trying not to look you in the eye.

                                            >"It's not my fault! I told you, I told you tonight was a bad idea. I didn't want to go inside, but you made me!"

                                            >You flinch as her verbal assault catches you by surprise, but the sting wears off quickly.

                                            >For some reason you get the feeling she doesn't actually blame you, you can tell she's only lashing out in despair.

                                            >Uselessly trying to wipe away the ever growing waterfall of tears, she continues sniffling in anguish.

                                            >"Why... why wouldn't you listen?"

                                            >Patting her gently on the back, Anonymous kneels down and chides to Fluttershy in a sinister manner.

                                            >"It's alright honey, honestly who can really blame Twilight, I mean why wouldn't she believe in her oh so dear friend?"

                                            >The mocking tone of his voice... this betrayal of everything you thought you knew and accepted, it's cutting your mental health far more than you ever thought possible.

                                            "I... I don't understand."

                                            >He huffs contemptuously at your comment, as if you couldn't have said anything more idiotic in his eyes.

                                            >"Of course you don't, you never did."

                                            >Standing back up, he sluggishly cracks his neck from side to side.

                                            >"Ya know, I spent a long time... a *very* long time; attempting to convince everyone that Fluttershy was an obscenely obsessive, yet unrelentingly closeted pervert."

                                            >Your jaw drops, you try to form words but nothing comes out.

                                            >He notices your expression and smiles.

                                            >"Why you ask? Because I wanted her all to myself of course."

                                            >Leaning down, he lifts Fluttershy's chin and begins french kissing her right in front of you.

                                            >She cries the entire time, but she doesn't even remotely try to struggle or fight him off.

                                            >He pulls back and lets out a relaxed sigh, as if he was simply parched and just took a sip of a delightful drink.

                                            >"It was the perfect crime I thought, nobody knew me and Fluttershy was too much of a coward to stop me."

                                            >Throwing his voice, he does a terrible pantomime of Fluttershy while holding both his cheeks in his hands and mockingly talking down on her.

                                            >"Maybe if I do nothing, it'll just solve itself and go away on its own."

                                            >Unable to stand up against his oppressive stance, she looks down at the floor in shame.

                                            >Even though she says nothing, he does a gentle tap on the side of her cheek with the back of his hand, as if reproaching a child.

                                            >"Sorry, that's not how life works honey."

                                            >She doesn't even flinch, seemingly used to such actions by now, she merely focuses all her attention on avoiding your gaze.

                                            >"I'll admit it took a while, but every pony in town cracked sooner or later. Some took longer than others, but one by one even her closest friends were whittled down to at least believing she had some hidden kinks she was too introverted to share."

                                            >He starts laughing as if he was remembering something amusing.

                                            >"Ya know, I heard some ponies even started spreading their own rumors, like a sick game of telephone they started making up their own fetish inspired tales involving our lovely yellow friend here, heck they ended up doing half the work for me."

                                            >Fluttershy's face grimaces at the thought of her friends unwittingly betraying her in that manner, but she still refuses to speak a word.

                                            >"Eventually, the lies became so overwhelmingly commonplace that nobody would have believed her even if she tried to spill the beans."

                                            >He pinches her cheek and mumbles something to her along the lines of "isn't that right?" in a childish manner.

                                            >"Everything was going just how I wanted it, save for one damn thing."

                                            >His suddenly monotone voice causes you to gulp even though your throat is painfully dry.

                                            "And what was that... dare I ask?"

                                            >He pauses, before turning around and staring at you with darkly hollow eyes.

                                            >"Isn't it obvious? It was you! Always you! No matter how much I tried, no matter how much I groveled and pleaded, no matter what logical extremes and self harm I brought upon myself, YOU ALWAYS TOOK HER SIDE!"

                                            >His hands slowly reach toward your neck in a manner that looked like he was about to strangle you, when suddenly he seemingly catches himself and hurriedly attempts to recollect his demeanor.

                                            >"Ahem, you... you were the thorn in my side, the one nail I just couldn't hammer down."

                                            >He quickly turns to Fluttershy, glaring at her accusingly.

                                            >"Always sticking your nose in my business, I just couldn't find a way to make you break your faith in her."

                                            >Turning back toward yourself, he suddenly smiles and raises his arms up in an eccentric fashion.

                                            >"But then something unexpected happened, you threw me a bone while handing me an ultimatum, an opportunity to finally take advantage of all that delightful trust you had in our fine feathered friend."

                                            >Walking back over to Fluttershy, he kneels down and wraps an arm around her shoulders as if they were the best of friends, despite her clearly trying her best to hold back anymore tears.

                                            >"It's a good thing you had the due diligence to warn me about the dinner ahead of time. If you had suddenly sprung it on me, I wouldn't of had the opportunity to order Fluttershy to spike her little "present" for you."

                                            >She squirms in discomfort as his hold on her gets uncomfortably tight.

                                            >"She might've even let something *slip*."

                                            >As he says those words and turns his face towards her, she immediately perks up and frantically shakes her head back and forth in denial.

                                            >"O-Of course not dear, I'd never ever do that, I swear!"

                                            >Fluttershy's frantic words are like needles in your heart.

                                            >Looking at her, he smirks at her connivingly, before relaxing his grip on her.

                                            >"Of course you wouldn't honeymuffin."

                                            >The whole scene playing out in front of you is nothing short of ludicrous.

                                            "But... But how? Why? It doesn't make sense. Why didn't you just tell me Fluttershy?"

                                            >Even though you beg for your friend to explain herself, once again she avoids your gaze and refuses to answer.

                                            >When he notices you looking pleadingly at Fluttershy for answers, Anonymous chuckles as if you had told the most adorable joke just now.

                                            >"Oh I knew my plan couldn't fail, even though all it would take is one word from her to foil my scheme like a carefully stacked house of cards being toppled over by an overly clumsy oaf."

                                            >You retort back at him rudely.

                                            "I didn't ask you, I asked Fluttershy."

                                            >He glares at you threateningly, before switching back to his smiling mask of a face.

                                            >"Because despite everything, all she had to do, was be the spineless coward she was born to be."

                                            >He smiles an unnervingly toothy grin.

                                            >"After all, it was the easier option. I mean really, what was she going to do, grow a spine and not take the simple way out?"

                                            >He chuckles while rubbing her withers depravedly.

                                            >"Not likely."

                                            >He gives her an affectionate, yet completely out of place kiss on the cheek, as if imitating what a loving couple at a café might do.

                                            >"I guess you could say I also believed in her... in my own way."

                                            >Anonymous' mix of disturbingly childish, yet sensual tones were like a knife in Fluttershy's side, but she didn't dare utter any ounce of protest.

                                            >Standing back up, he clasps his hands together as if he was a host finally wrapping up a show.

                                            >"And that brings us to the here and now. I'm afraid you're going to have to stay with us and enjoy our hospitality for a just little while longer, but don't you fret; eventually you'll be begging to stay."

                                            >Holding back a gag reflex, you look at him with what you could only describe as pure malice, disgust, and disdain.

                                            "You won't get away with this, somepony will find out, you'll answer for your crimes."

                                            >At your words, he laughs before immediately taking on a much more menacing stance and slowly walking toward you.

                                            >"Oh Twilight, you still seem to be a little confused, so allow me to spell it out so even a thickheaded biscuit like yourself can understand."

                                            >He forcefully grabs your chin between his finger tips while taking care not to bruise it.

                                            >"No one will ever believe--"

                                            >He places his tongue on the nape of your neck.

                                            >"That I'm the one--"

                                            >You shudder as he trails the slimy membrane up your side and whispers directly into your ear.

                                            >"--Fucking Fluttershy."


                                            HAPPY APRIL FOOLS