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Introducing Twibot

By ArchiveAccount
Created: 2023-09-18 03:14:54
Expiry: Never

  1. Written by Smudgey
  2.  
  3. >Day 001101002 in Equestria
  4. >P0nies stop and stare at the sight of you.
  5. >For once its not because you're the only monkey man on this god forsaken planet.
  6. >Today it's because of the giant metal husk of a robot your painstakingly dragging across town.
  7. >Bitch must weigh a metric ton.
  8. >With each huff you slowly but surely make your way to your destination
  9. >Each time she collides with a rock you smile menacingly.
  10. >You start humming a little tune as you drag her across the dirt road.
  11. ~I'm a shooting star dancing through the skyyyy like a tiger, defying the laws of gravityyyy~
  12. >hnnngh
  13. ~I'm a racing car passing by like LADY GODIVA~
  14. >hrrrrggh...jesus
  15. ~I'm gonna go.. go.. go.. there's no stopping meeee~
  16. >You continue as you make your way through town at the lightning fast speed of a snail riding a turtle.
  17. >No one speaks to you and just watches the bizarre sight.
  18. >Fuckers could help or something christ...
  19. ~Don't stop me nowwwww I'm having such a good time~
  20. >Flutterbot's head cracks on a rock.
  21. ~I'm having a ball~
  22. >It takes you all morning but you finally reach Twilight's library.
  23. >You drop the ridiculous doll on her door step like a bag of bricks.
  24. >Like abandoning a child at an orphanage you're about to knock and bolt when the door opens up for you instead.
  25. >Of course it's purplesmart
  26. >"Anon! I thought I heard your arrival."
  27. >She looks at the unconscious mannequin you've presented for her.
  28. >"Ah I figured you'd drop in sooner or later, please come in come in!"
  29. >With a goofy smile she lifts her up with her magic like it was a sack of marshmallow fluff and brings her inside.
  30. >God damn overpowered unicorns.
  31. >Sticking your hands in your pockets you begrudgingly step inside.
  32. So uh ya, some things happened and Flutterbot stopped working. No need to fix her though I know your time is prec-
  33. >She cuts you off by waving a book in front of your face.
  34. >"Nonsense! She just needs a replacement power supply, I can have her up and running good as new by the end of the day!"
  35. >You facepalm, this was not how you had planned this out.
  36. >Heading down into her basement, she props Flutterbot on a metal table.
  37. >Putting on her goggles, she opens up her chassis and starts tinkering with her hardware.
  38. >You take a seat on one of her inadequate chairs and rest your head on one hand.
  39. >"I'm impressed that you managed to burn her out in just a few days Anon, you must really spend a lot of time with her."
  40. Yeah you could say it was to much time even...
  41. >"Did you say something?"
  42. Nah just talking to myself.
  43. >She turns back with a shrug and continues working her "magic"
  44. >"Really I wonder if she can handle you all by herself."
  45. >Face still resting in your palm, your eyes go wide as Twilight's words echo inside your head.
  46. >You look over at her, working away with various blowtorches and mechanical instruments.
  47. You know what Twilight, you're right!
  48. >Her ears twitch in your direction, she always did love being told she was right.
  49. In fact, I've a got a proposition for you.
  50. >She turns her head towards you as she sets her instruments down.
  51. >"And what did you have in mind exactly?"
  52. >You get an evil smirk.
  53. Oh don't worry my dear Twilight I assure you it'll be... in name of ~science~!
  54.  
  55. >Day Legendary in Equestria
  56. >You've been standing on your front door step arms crossed.
  57. >Staring straight ahead.
  58. >Without blinking.
  59. >For a entire week straight.
  60. >...Waiting
  61. >For herrrrr.
  62. >She'd show up sooner or later, it was only a matter of time.
  63. >To be honest you thought she'd show up the very next day ready to hound you once more.
  64. >But if anything you were a patient man...very patient.
  65. >And this time, you'd be ready for her.
  66. >You snicker like a weirdo with no one but you around for miles.
  67. >As the rising sun crescents over the horizon threatening to blind you, you hear it.
  68. >The familiar clickedy clacking beat of Nutterbutter making her way down the road to your left.
  69. >You don't look at her, staring straight ahead as the morning sun burns your retinas.
  70. >A small electronic noise alerts you to her presence.
  71. >With a humble *beep* she nudges your ribs with her nose.
  72. >You don't acknowledge her, as far as you were concerned she was a figment of your imagination.
  73. >She takes a step back out of your sight and speaks up.
  74. >"APOLOGY: We HaVe CoMe tO ReAlIzE tHe ErRoR oF OuR wAyS."
  75. ...
  76. >"SUPPLEMENT: AnD We KnOw NoW tHaT oUr PrIoR IdEaLs aNd BeHaViOuR WeRe MiStAkEs"
  77. ...
  78. >"SUPPLEMENT: So If YoU WoUlD PaRdOn Us We ShAlL BeG fOr FoRgIvEnEsS"
  79. ...
  80. >"SUPPLEMENT: CaN We StArT OvEr AgAiN?"
  81. >She walks up to your left hand side with her trademark clicking and clacking body and starts nuzzling your sides lovingly.
  82. >"QUERY: WiLl YoU FoRgIvE My PrEvIoUs AcTiOnS?"
  83. >You say nothing and seemingly stare at the void air in front you, scowling.
  84. >She waves a hoof in front of your eyes
  85. >Frustrated with herself she walks in front of you to get your attention.
  86. >"COMMAND: YoU WiLl GiVe Me YoUr AnSw-"
  87. >You cut her off as she finally completely enters your peripheral vision.
  88. You have dishonored my family...WE MUST KUNG FU FIGHT!
  89.  
  90.  
  91. >Its the middle of the day but the sunny skies are suddenly enveloped in black clouds.
  92. >You to start to laugh like a lunatic.
  93. >Others would think you must have gone stark raving mad.
  94. >You grin with malice as the air in front of you begins to crack and spark with static electricity.
  95. >With the smuggest grin you've ever made in the history of man kind you shout out.
  96. TWIBRIGHT I CHOOSE YOU!
  97. >A thunderous purple bolt of lightning snaps and cracks the ground in front of you.
  98. >The shockwave blows Flutterbot twenty feet away.
  99. >You chuckle as the air rushes past you, standing your ground like it was a gentle breeze as your hair and clothes whip back and forth.
  100. >The dust settles and there standing before you is a purple mare, her back turned from you and facing her opponent.
  101. >Lavender sparks of electricity snap, crackle, and pop across her torso.
  102. >A single man tear runs down your eye.
  103. >Its...beautiful.
  104. >You marvel at her sleek design, how the light glistens off her chrome exterior while her mane and tail glow with an eerie iridescent aura.
  105. >Twilight really outdid herself this time. You might actually have to hold your promise for sexy times after this one.
  106. >The new challenger stands ominously, the only sounds are the cracks of howling thunder.
  107. >Flutterbot looks in awe completely dumbfounded.
  108. >"ERROR: UnAbLe tO PrOcEsS CuRrEnT InFoRmAtIoN. MaNuAl AsSiStAnCe ReQuIrEd."
  109. >You let out a hearty laugh from your gut.
  110. Today is the day for you to finally give up Fluttershy, I have a new toy to "play" with.
  111. >Her eyes glow red with hostility.
  112. >"DENIED: InPuT UnAcCePtAbLe!"
  113. >Her painted on wings fold and slide into her body as jet engines jut out from the corners of her smooth back.
  114. >The bottom side of her hoofs open and reveal wheels underneath.
  115. >Kinda reminds you of those sneakers with the roller-blades you had as a kid.
  116. >Mad as a raging bull, she launches an insane headlong charge at the two of you at full speed.
  117. >Calmly remaining where you stand, you give your new toy her first test run.
  118. Twibright, let's show her how to have fun.
  119. >"Yes-Master-As-You-Command"
  120. >You strike a dramatic pose and point your finger in their general direction.
  121. Twibright, use Thunder!
  122. >She cranes her neck toward the sky as her eyes glow with purpose.
  123. >The black shroud of clouds release a torrent of lightning and connect with her horn.
  124. >Supercharged with violet energy, she points her head towards Flutterbot and lets loose and violent *crack*.
  125. >Three seperate lightning bolts burst out of her like a tesla coil and blow Flutterbot away.
  126. >She smacks into a tree causing it to snap in half.
  127. >She falls to the ground, barely managing to stand on her hoofs.
  128. >Her joints creak and shake as her eyes blink between red and green.
  129. >"SYSTEM ERROR: AnOmAlY DeTeCt-ect-ect-Ed, RuNnInG EmErGeNcY PrOtOcAlS"
  130. >Her body twitches and flails when a sudden bright flash blinds you momentarily.
  131. >You cover your eyes.
  132. >Blinking as you regain your vision, you see her body glowing with amber light.
  133. >"STATUS: EmErGeNcY BuFfErS RuNnInG aT FuLl CaPaCiTy!"
  134. >Her head twitches each time a residual static spark runs up her torso.
  135. Heh I see Twilight built you with some electrical resistance.
  136. >"REPLY: It WaS nEcEsSaRy tO AvOiD CaTaStRoPhiC PoWeR FaIlUrE"
  137. Haha but it still isn't gonna stop us from winning, you can't beat Twibright she's next gen OP.
  138. >She growls in an unusual low tone.
  139. >"REBUTTAL: I WiLl BrEaK HeR..."
  140. >Your smile disappears as you stare at her honestly surprised for a few seconds.
  141. >You burst out laughing.
  142. HAHAHAHAHA.....BRING IT YOU OVERGROWN SOCK PUPPET!
  143. >You hear her let out an indistinguishable screech as large machine turrets rip out of Flutterbot's shoulders.
  144. ...Are you INSANE!?!
  145. >She screams in agony "ANSWER: YES!!!!"
  146. >Is she trying to kill you?
  147. >The barrels start revving up and begin to unload on the two of you.
  148. Twibright, use Barrier!
  149. >"Immediately-Sir"
  150. >With a purple flash across her eyes a surge of electricity juts out in front of the two of you, deflecting the bullets in a cone shaped shield.
  151. >The outside of your house is riddled with smoking bullet holes, but you're too high on life to care.
  152. Don't give her time to react, Twibright use Quick Attack!
  153. >Mounting a charging stance, beams of light streak past her frame.
  154. >In an instant she's ramming into Flutterbot from across the field.
  155. >It almost looked like she teleported, but that required a lot more energy.
  156. >You'd save that trick for a "special" occasion.
  157. >Bouncing painfully off the dirt a few times, the yellow android flips off the ground and takes to the air.
  158. >Flutterbot used Fly!
  159. >Damn it, Twibright wasn't a flying type, seemed unnecessary when she could just teleport anywhere she pleased.
  160. >But you were smarter than that, you knew how to think outside the box.
  161. Think fast, Twibright use Sonar!
  162. >Her unicorn horn unfolds into a large antenna and lets out a wail so high pitched only machines and small dogs can hear it.
  163. >Flutterbot holds her head in agony, her eyes scrambling with mixed errors and shoddy coding.
  164. >Flutterbot is confused!
  165.  
  166. >Meanwhile in Sweet Apple Acres...
  167. >Applejack and Winona are walking through the orchard.
  168. >"Well I just plum don't understand it Winona, one minute its a bright summer morning and then these spooky clouds just came outta nowhere"
  169. >Winona starts to stagger.
  170. >"Winona what's wrong girl?"
  171. >The dog drops to the ground and starts foaming at the mouth.
  172. >"WINONA GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!"
  173.  
  174.  
  175. >Watching the fight from a safe distance you gloat a little.
  176. Heh a brilliant machine for a brilliant mind don't you agree Fluttershy?
  177. >Flutterbot in her confusion aims her arms forward and fires rockets with reckless abandon.
  178. >Fucking hell, less talking more fighting!
  179. Twibright look out, use Deflect!
  180. >A comically over sized electromagnet pops out of her back and diverts them off course.
  181. >The rockets veer off to the side and careen into the local kitten orphanage.
  182. >Explosions of miniature atomic proportions stain the air red momentarily.
  183. >Least no one would miss that place.
  184. >You hear Scootaloo in the distance
  185. >"OH SWEET CELESTIA WHYYYY!?!"
  186. >You look up, Flutterbot is holding her head and shaking in agony, still confused.
  187. >You wouldn't let something stupid like flight get the best of you.
  188. Twibright don't let up, use Spark!
  189. >Her hooves glow with amethyst light.
  190. >It stays for a moment then shoots up to her antenna in a flash.
  191. >She lets a small burst of lightning.
  192. >Unable to defend herself, Flutterbot takes the brunt of the hit.
  193. >It doesn't do much damage, but it wasn't supposed to.
  194. >Stunned with paralysis, her engines seize up and she drops like ridiculously expensive rock.
  195. >The earth shakes as she collides on impact.
  196. >There's a small crater where she landed.
  197. >You watch as she attempts to stand, yellow sparks flying off her body wildly.
  198. >"STATEMENT: I-i-I'm n-n-nOt FiNiShEd YeT!"
  199. >She twitches in frustration, falling down on her face each time she tries to stand up.
  200. >Twibright starts walking towards her.
  201. It's over Fluttershy, you've lost.
  202. >"REBUTTAL: N-n_n-n-NoT Q-q_q-q-QuItE"
  203. >The cheek on her flank releases with a jet of steam, a saw blade attached to a mechanical arm catching both of you off guard.
  204. >It shoots out and starts sawing into Twibright's perfectly sculpted face.
  205. Noooooo!!!
  206. >You can see her arms flail as the blade unceremoniously digs its way in.
  207. OH FUCK NO!!!
  208. >You can't let it end this way!
  209. TWIBRIGHT USE TELEKINESIS RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!
  210. >The saw blade's arm glows in that trademark lilac colored light
  211. >She pulls it out of her metal skull, blade still spinning.
  212. >She looks over at you.
  213. >No more playing around.
  214. >Flutterbot stares at you with a pleading face.
  215. >You look at her and scowl.
  216. Finish it...
  217. "Yes-Master"
  218. >She flicks her horn and the arm twists painfully.
  219. >With an irritating squeak the blade juts into Flutterbot's neck.
  220. >She screams out in electronic binary code.
  221. >Only Twibright has the capacity to enjoy it.
  222. >It rips and shreds the metal arteries in her neck about half way before losing power.
  223. >All connection to her body has been severed.
  224. >Each limb falls to the ground lifelessly as oil and coolants pool around her.
  225. >The only thing still functional is her head.
  226. >You casually make your way over to her now that she was incapacitated.
  227. >With a wave of your hand Twibright takes her place by your side.
  228. >Putting your hands on your hips, you leer down at Flutterbot with your best shit eating grin.
  229. Confused? I'm sure by now you must be.
  230. >You kneel down.
  231. Allow me to introduce you... to Twibot, or as I've affectionately named her, Twibright.
  232. >You start petting her fiber optic mane.
  233. She's your little sister.
  234. >You look at Flutterbot and flash her your pearly white canines.
  235. And she's better than you in...every...single...wayyyyy.
  236. >You lean over and kiss the horrific scar that had taken one of her stunning amethyst eyes.
  237. >Its the last image Flutters sees before blipping offline.
  238. (End Song)
  239.  
  240. >Day All's well that ends well in Equestria
  241. >You're strolling through town making your way to the marketplace.
  242. >It was crowded like always.
  243. >Some p0nies chuckle at you, some stare, others just roll their eyes.
  244. >You grin cause you know why.
  245. >Flutterbot is to your left, clicking and clacking as she constantly tries using x-ray vision to check out your junk.
  246. >Twibright is smoothly gliding on your right side, jealously scrambling Flutter's brains every chance she gets.
  247. >You had Twilight repair them good as new, yes even Flutterbot.
  248. >Flutters wasn't so bad as long as you had her sister there to keep a leash on her.
  249. >With Twibright at your side you didn't have to worry about being at the mercy of Flutters' rape tentacles or any other stupid shenanigans.
  250. >When Twilight asked you what had happened to the two of them all you could say was.
  251. Meh...I like to play rough.
  252. >She nodded solemnly as if they were the words of some wise sage and didn't ask anymore questions.
  253. >Your thoughts are interrupted by a high pitched whining.
  254. >"COMPLAINT: MaStEr, TwIbRiGhT WiLl NoT StOp HaCkInG mY CoRe SubRoUtInEs"
  255. >"We-Would-Not-Be-Required-To-Do-So-If-You-Would-Refrain-From-Attempting-Inappropriate-Actions-In-Public-Settings"
  256. >They glare at each other, electricity literally battling between them.
  257. >They both turn their heads and stare at you, surprised as you laugh out loud.
  258. Girls, girls relax. I'll tell ya what, if you two can get a long for the rest of the day I'll give you both a reward when we get home.
  259. >Flutterbot's eyes light up like an actual christmas tree.
  260. >You can tell she's barely containing her excitement.
  261. >Twibright on the other hand...
  262. >"That-Would-Most-Fortuitous-If-It-Were-Actually-Possible-Sir"
  263. >You kneel down in front of Twibright.
  264. Come on, will you do it for me?
  265. >You run a hand down her sleek frame and rub her flank a little.
  266. Please?
  267. >Her cheeks blush with a beautiful magenta.
  268. >"Alright-Master-For-You-I-Shall-Try"
  269. >You give an honest to god real smile for the first time in weeks.
  270. >You hug them both and give them each a kiss on the cheek.
  271. I know I've never said it before, but I really love you both so much.
  272. >You hear a cat call from behind you.
  273. >You turn around to see Pinkie make her way out of Sugarcube Corner.
  274. >"OoOoOo look who's getting along with his new frieEeEends~!"
  275. >You chuckle a little as Applejack follows close behind her.
  276. >"Heh heh, looks like ya'll are finally having a good time aint'cha"
  277. >You look down at your new found family, they look back at you like adorable puppies with mechanical smiles.
  278. >Brings a tear to your eyes.
  279. >You turn around and give Applejack a smile of true happiness.
  280. Yeah... I guess I really am!

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