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Day Never mess with a brother

By ArchiveAccount
Created: 2023-09-18 04:20:42
Expiry: Never
anonvinyl scratchshining armortwilight sparkleanonymousflutterrapethat_happy_guy

  1. 1.
    Written by That_Happy_Guy
  2. 2.
    https://poneb.in/0ZjYjU70
  3. 3.
     
  4. 4.
    >Day Never fuck with an older brother in Equestria (A.K.A. I've been playing way too much Saint's row 4)
  5. 5.
    >”So, did you do it on purpose?”
  6. 6.
    “No! Vinyl, do I look like the kind of sociopath who would nearly kill a person on purpose?!”
  7. 7.
    >”First off, we're not people, we're ponies. Second... yes? I don't know, do humans usually do that?”
  8. 8.
    “Of course no-... Not usu-... Well, I don't.”
  9. 9.
    >Your roommate flashes you a smug smirk of victory as you two walk through the hospital's halls.
  10. 10.
    >Twilight Sparkle, your stalker and seeker of your affections, was badly wounded when one of her attempts to woo you went horribly wrong.
  11. 11.
    >True, you did hit her over the head with a vase as she tried to blast you with magic, but it was in self defense.
  12. 12.
    >You didn't think it would nearly kill her!
  13. 13.
    >To try and make amends, you are visiting her.
  14. 14.
    >Even brought the little nerd some flowers.
  15. 15.
    >”Hey, buddy, flowers are wilting.”
  16. 16.
    >A quick look to the bouquet in your hand shows that Vinyl is right.
  17. 17.
    “Wha- I just bought these! How can they be wilting so fast?!”
  18. 18.
    >”Easy, you got wilty willows. Beautiful little things. Die almost instantly though.”
  19. 19.
    >These were so expensive!
  20. 20.
    >You are going to kill that vendor next time you see him.
  21. 21.
    “Is there a way to save them?”
  22. 22.
    >”Get them in a vase, it'll buy them a couple hours.”
  23. 23.
    >Twilight should have a vase in her room from one of her other visitors.
  24. 24.
    >A quick grab and switch should allow you to save these pieces of crap.
  25. 25.
    >She'll understand, if not she'll forgive you anyways.
  26. 26.
    >As you open the door to her room, a force pulls you in by the collar of your shirt, throwing you against the wall.
  27. 27.
    “Oomph!”
  28. 28.
    >”Anon!”
  29. 29.
    >Vinyl tries to step in, but the door slams in front of her, turning to stone.
  30. 30.
    >”Hello Anon.”
  31. 31.
    “Twilight? What the fuck girl?!”
  32. 32.
    >You stand to see that Twilight is still in her bed, sound asleep with some sort of hazy purple fog around her head.
  33. 33.
    >”Don't say the F word around my sister!”
  34. 34.
    >A ball of magic hits you in the gut.
  35. 35.
    “F-Fu-uck! *Krph* Sh-Shin-ing, wh-what the hell man?!”
  36. 36.
    >Another ball hits you like a fastball aimed for your stomach.
  37. 37.
    >”Watch the language! Now stand up you jerk.”
  38. 38.
    >Not wanting to piss off the pissed stallion any more than he is, you oblige him.
  39. 39.
    “Wh-What do you want Shin*gack* Shining?”
  40. 40.
    >”What I want? Oh, that's funny Anon, you're a funny guy!”
  41. 41.
    >Shining finally shows himself, getting right up in your face (as best a pony can.).
  42. 42.
    >”What I want is for my sister to like someone who is good enough for her. What I want is for her to stop getting hurt because the jerk she likes won't give her a chance! WHAT I WANT IS FOR TWILY TO BE HAPPY!”
  43. 43.
    >He is charging a spell at point blank range in front of you.
  44. 44.
    “She can be happy with someone else, she just needs to see that!”
  45. 45.
    >”No, you just need to be taught some manners.”
  46. 46.
    >He unloads his spell right in your face, blinding you and sending you reeling back.
  47. 47.
    >The entire world goes black as your breathing slows.
  48. 48.
    >Something feels off... like if you were being probed in the head.
  49. 49.
    >You can't think too hard on it as you start to lose your hold in the conscious realm.
  50. 50.
    >Day Fine weather in Sunnyvale.
  51. 51.
    >Gosh and golly, there is a harsh sort of pain coming from your head.
  52. 52.
    >Did you slip last night before bed?
  53. 53.
    >Impossible, you're wearing your pajamas and have your covers on.
  54. 54.
    >”Honey! Breakfast is ready!”
  55. 55.
    >Jiminy crickets!
  56. 56.
    >You're late for breakfast!
  57. 57.
    >No time to worry about the pain in your head now.
  58. 58.
    >Your wife is waiting for you!
  59. 59.
    >A quick change of your attire to something spiffy and you head down to get some of her scrumdiddilyumptius cooking.
  60. 60.
    “Mmm, breakfast sure smells heavenly dear!”
  61. 61.
    >Twilight places three pancakes next to your bacon and eggs, smiling as you compliment her great skills in the kitchen.
  62. 62.
    >”Oh hush! You sly fox you.”
  63. 63.
    >You can't wait to dig in.
  64. 64.
    >Take your seat and grab your fork!
  65. 65.
    >Time to eat before you work!
  66. 66.
    >”Oh! Honey, don't forget about Shining's rally today. He is such a fine mayor, always having these little rallies to help the community.”
  67. 67.
    >He sure was!
  68. 68.
    >Your brother-in-law made sure that Sunnyvale was always safe and the citizens were always happy.
  69. 69.
    >The stallion is tough, but fair.
  70. 70.
    “Don't worry dear, I'll be sure to stop by right after work and meet the ol' fella.”
  71. 71.
    >”Thank you honey.”
  72. 72.
    >Your best gal gives you a peck on the cheek as you finish breakfast.
  73. 73.
    “Mmm, I'd love to stay and chat, but I need to head out pronto! I'll see you soon dear.”
  74. 74.
    >”Have a safe day at work honey!”
  75. 75.
    >With one last peck, you are out the door.
  76. 76.
    >Your pony and human neighbors greet you as you step out of your house, stopping on your porch.
  77. 77.
    >Ah, nothing like the view of a man's beautiful green lawn to bring a smile to his face.
  78. 78.
    >Why, even your wilty willows are looking fine!
  79. 79.
    >...
  80. 80.
    >Wilty willows...
  81. 81.
    >Why do these flowers bother you so much?
  82. 82.
    >Hmmm, you never had them before.
  83. 83.
    >Perhaps Twilight planted them this morning as a surprise?
  84. 84.
    >That must be it.
  85. 85.
    >*Crash!*
  86. 86.
    >”Eek! Oh no!”
  87. 87.
    >You look behind you to see Twilight heading towards the hallway to clean up a broken vase that somehow fell over.
  88. 88.
    >But... Twilight was in the kitchen and you were out here.
  89. 89.
    >How did the vase fall?
  90. 90.
    >As you turn back to head to your car, a strange sight catches your attention.
  91. 91.
    >The trees.
  92. 92.
    >They are shaking, changing colors too.
  93. 93.
    >Something is very off.
  94. 94.
    >You take a step forward when a newspaper seems to drop from the sky.
  95. 95.
    >Grabbing the strange roll, you look at the headline.
  96. 96.
    “Anon, you're dreaming. What the... Wait, that hand writing.”
  97. 97.
    >It's all coming back to you.
  98. 98.
    >The accident, the hospital, Shining Armor hitting you with magic.
  99. 99.
    >Where are you?
  100. 100.
    >Why does everything look like it belongs in the 50's?
  101. 101.
    >”Anon!”
  102. 102.
    >Vinyl!
  103. 103.
    >You look around to try and find your roomie.
  104. 104.
    >”Anon, can you hear me?”
  105. 105.
    “Yeah, where are you?”
  106. 106.
    >Before she can respond. Your wi-... Twilight calls to you.
  107. 107.
    >”Honey, is everything all right? Who are you talking to?”
  108. 108.
    “Uh, everything is fine! Just talking to a friend.”
  109. 109.
    >”Oh, okay! Don't talk for too long or you'll be late for work.”
  110. 110.
    >Vinyl's voice seems to be right next to your ear, whispering.
  111. 111.
    >”Don't draw attention to yourself. Just head to work and act casual.”
  112. 112.
    >Listening to the mare's words, you head to your little box car and start to drive at a slow pace.
  113. 113.
    >”Okay, we should be able to talk here.”
  114. 114.
    “Vinyl, where are you? What's going on?”
  115. 115.
    >”You won't be able to see me because I'm not in the spell... which brings me to my next point, Shining Armor hit you with a spell and you are in some sort of weird fictional dream world. Never seen any like this before.”
  116. 116.
    “What? They have spells that can do that?”
  117. 117.
    >”Duh, where do you think I go to when you see me vegging out? I hit myself with a dream world spell and let loose.”
  118. 118.
    >That explains so many things; like her constant switching from being a heavy sleeper to a light one.
  119. 119.
    “Wait, if this is all just a spell, can't you undo it?”
  120. 120.
    >”No dice. Shining is much better with magic than I am. Plus, this one seems kind of... permanent.”
  121. 121.
    >The way she said permanent seemed way too ominous.
  122. 122.
    “Vinyl, what do you mean?”
  123. 123.
    >”Err, what I'm saying is that he may be intending to keep the three of you in there forever.”
  124. 124.
    >Oh balls.
  125. 125.
    “Wait, three? Who else is in here?”
  126. 126.
    >”Twilight and Shining, duh.”
  127. 127.
    “He hit himself with his own spell... what kind of idiot does that?”
  128. 128.
    >”I hit myself with this spell...”
  129. 129.
    “Oh, but you do it on purpose.”
  130. 130.
    >”So did he, he's the one in control of this dream.”
  131. 131.
    “... You don't dream of times in history where the entire population were ignorant and close minded?”
  132. 132.
    >”I don't think this is his dream. We don't have things like what you're in and he doesn't seem creative enough to think of something like it.”
  133. 133.
    >Right, car.
  134. 134.
    >Almost forgot you were driving one.
  135. 135.
    >Focus on the road and-
  136. 136.
    >*KRSH!*
  137. 137.
    >... And hit a fire hydrant.
  138. 138.
    >Back away slowly Anon, no one saw.
  139. 139.
    “Okay, so how the *BEEP* do we... what the *BEEP*?”
  140. 140.
    >”What did you say?”
  141. 141.
    “I said *BEEP*... Vinyl, why can't I curse in my own dream?”
  142. 142.
    >”Like I said, Shining is in charge here. If I had to guess, he doesn't like your potty mouth.”
  143. 143.
    “Hey, I only curse when it's appropriate. Like now.”
  144. 144.
    >”Suuuure, keep telling yourself that.”
  145. 145.
    “Whatever... So why is he keeping me here?”
  146. 146.
    >”Eh, if I had to guess, he wants you to like his sister by seeing her in a different light. The not creepy stalker light.”
  147. 147.
    “... He wants me to hook up with Twilight, so he forced us into a dream world where I'm married to her while she and I have controlled personalities...”
  148. 148.
    >Typical day in Equestria.
  149. 149.
    “Okay, makes sense... wait, how are you and I talking? I thought you said you weren't in the dream.”
  150. 150.
    >”Unicorn magic. I 'm a Unicorn, remember?”
  151. 151.
    “Ah. So, you said this was permanent... uhh, there any way around that?”
  152. 152.
    >”Not that I can see.”
  153. 153.
    “... Hey Vinyl?”
  154. 154.
    >”Yeah Anon?”
  155. 155.
    “If this kills me, bury me as far away from Twilight as possible.”
  156. 156.
    >”Wait, what are you planning? Anon?!”
  157. 157.
    >You put the pedal to the metal and ram your box straight into a brick wall, ejecting you from the car.
  158. 158.
    >Day Fine weather in Sunnyvale.
  159. 159.
    >Gosh and golly, there is a harsh sort of pain coming from your head.
  160. 160.
    >Did you slip last night before bed?
  161. 161.
    >Impossible, you're wearing your pajamas and have your covers on.
  162. 162.
    >”Honey! Breakfast is ready!”
  163. 163.
    >Jiminy crickets!
  164. 164.
    >You're late for breakfast!
  165. 165.
    >No time to worry about the pain in your head now.
  166. 166.
    >Your wi- wait, you did this all before.
  167. 167.
    >”Hey, you're alive!”
  168. 168.
    >Vinyl's voice rings next to your head.
  169. 169.
    “Yeah. I figured killing myself in the dream would either free me or kill me for real.”
  170. 170.
    >”Why?”
  171. 171.
    “How it works in the movies. So, plan A was a bust. Want to try and come up with a plan B?”
  172. 172.
    >”Well, Shining Armor is in the dream with you. I'd say weakening him in the dream should also weaken him for real. Get him weak enough and I can break the spell.”
  173. 173.
    “How do you know that'll work?”
  174. 174.
    >”I don't. If it doesn't, we'll just try something else right?”
  175. 175.
    “Eh, good point. So, how's my body doing?”
  176. 176.
    >”Don't know, door's still stone.”
  177. 177.
    “Oh. Huh.”
  178. 178.
    >Can't go beating the *BEEP* out of this *BEEP*hole in your P.J.s, better get changed.
  179. 179.
    >Giving your closet a quick look through shows that there is nothing to wear but stuff even your grandma wouldn't touch.
  180. 180.
    “I'm not going out wearing this *BEEP* again.”
  181. 181.
    >”You have to wear something, Twilight will get suspicious and might alert Shining.”
  182. 182.
    “And my cursing and suicide attempt didn't?”
  183. 183.
    >”No, oddly enough, it didn't. He might be focusing on Twilight, letting you slip up here and there so long as she's happy.”
  184. 184.
    >He may be a psychotic *BEEP*hole, but he is a committed brother to say the least.
  185. 185.
    “Ugh... so I have to wear this stuff?”
  186. 186.
    >”... Maybe not, let me try something.”
  187. 187.
    >The mare is silent, leaving you waiting.
  188. 188.
    >”Okay, look behind you.”
  189. 189.
    >You turn around and see that there is a business suit on your bed.
  190. 190.
    “Better. So you can add stuff to this world?”
  191. 191.
    >”Wilty willows, vase breaking, newspaper. All me.”
  192. 192.
    “Right. Shining know you're here?”
  193. 193.
    >”Either he doesn't or he doesn't care.”
  194. 194.
    “Yay apathy. So, what's the plan?”
  195. 195.
    >”Head downstairs, keep Twilight happy until Shining shows up, kick his ass enough for me to overpower him, come home, get ice cream.”
  196. 196.
    “I like it, good plan Vinyl, good plan... did you just say *BEEP*?”
  197. 197.
    >”Huh, looks like I did... ass ass ass ass ass ass ass!”
  198. 198.
    “I hate you so much right now.”
  199. 199.
    >”Honey? Are you okay up there?”
  200. 200.
    >*BEEP*, forgot about purple smart.
  201. 201.
    “Fine! Just fine. I'll be down in a moment.”
  202. 202.
    >Put on the suit and head downstairs to see a plate full of hot food waiting for you.
  203. 203.
    >It was good the first time, might as well see if it is still good the second time.
  204. 204.
    >Sit down and enjoy the meal again.
  205. 205.
    >”Mmm, honey, you look down right spiffy! What's the occasion?”
  206. 206.
    “Ah, just figured I should look my best when I head to Shining's rally.”
  207. 207.
    >The purple mare smiles and shakes her head.
  208. 208.
    >She then wraps her hooves around your neck and hugs you.
  209. 209.
    >”I KNEW you would remember! Oh honey, I'm sure he'll appreciate your efforts to dress up for his little rally.”
  210. 210.
    >Despite the fact she is an obsessive nut case about thirty percent of the time, Twilight has her many moments of cuteness.
  211. 211.
    >This is one of them.
  212. 212.
    “Well, I owe the guy a lot.”
  213. 213.
    >Like an *BEEP*kicking.
  214. 214.
    >”Still. Oh! Look at the time! You'll be late for work, better hurry.”
  215. 215.
    >She gives you a peck before going to wash the dishes.
  216. 216.
    >Finish the pancakes and bacon before heading out.
  217. 217.
    >”So, where do you work Anon?”
  218. 218.
    “Like I'd know... Just drive around until the rally?”
  219. 219.
    >You step into the car and turn the engine over.
  220. 220.
    >”Not a good idea. Pretty sure Twilight getting a call that her -hubby- is playing hooky will set off a few alarms.”
  221. 221.
    “Fair enough... Huh, what's this?”
  222. 222.
    >There is a briefcase laying on your passenger side seat.
  223. 223.
    >Test to see if it's locked.
  224. 224.
    >Nope.
  225. 225.
    >Flip the top open and look through the papers.
  226. 226.
    “... I'm an accountant.”
  227. 227.
    >”Oh, that sounds... fun.”
  228. 228.
    >It was a grueling eight hours, but you made it.
  229. 229.
    >Finished with your work day, you can go kick the *BEEP* out of Shining.
  230. 230.
    >Both for putting you in this *BEEP* hole and making you go through eight hours of pure number crunching mind numbing torture.
  231. 231.
    >”You ready for this?”
  232. 232.
    “Oh, I am so ready. Where is he?”
  233. 233.
    >”He's the mayor, where do you think he is?”
  234. 234.
    >Shrug and get in your car, about to make your way to city hall.
  235. 235.
    >There is literally no traffic on the streets, as if all the parked cars you passed were cleared.
  236. 236.
    >”Hey, what's on the radio?”
  237. 237.
    >Your car's radio knob glows and turns on.
  238. 238.
    >”OH you ain't nothin but a hound dog, cryin all the time! Ain't nothin but a hound dog, cryin all the time!”
  239. 239.
    >”Oh dear Celestia! Make it stop!”
  240. 240.
    >You chuckle and shut off the radio.
  241. 241.
    >”Ponies say my taste in music is bad, but THAT?! Something like that existed?!”
  242. 242.
    “What's wrong with Elvis?
  243. 243.
    >”Is that what that's called? Elvis?”
  244. 244.
    “No, it's the guy who- never mind. So, plan?”
  245. 245.
    >”Same, kick his ass, break the spell, ice cream.”
  246. 246.
    “Mhmm, and how do you see me kicking a Unicorn with magic on his side's *BEEP*?”
  247. 247.
    >”Uhhh... Hold on.”
  248. 248.
    >Vinyl goes silent before a wooden bat appears on top of your briefcase
  249. 249.
    “Well, that'll work. Not like he has MAGIC on his side.”
  250. 250.
    >”I'm trying here! Let me see if I can't...”
  251. 251.
    >The bat turns metal.
  252. 252.
    “... I'll just wing it.”
  253. 253.
    >The rest of the ride is had with an awkward silence in the air.
  254. 254.
    >After you park your car, Vinyl finally speaks up.
  255. 255.
    >”Maybe try negotiating with him first?”
  256. 256.
    “Yeah, considering my only other option is a bat, I probably should.”
  257. 257.
    >You let a heavy sigh before exiting your car.
  258. 258.
    >Shining's voice is heard throughout the city.
  259. 259.
    >”-And we will stand against them. The city of Sunnyvalle shall never be without protection.”
  260. 260.
    >Cheers are ringing, following his proclamation.
  261. 261.
    >”Someone's a little full of themselves. Who makes an entire world full of ponies to kiss your ass?”
  262. 262.
    “I can think of a few.”
  263. 263.
    >As you turn a corner to stand on the same block as city hall, a large crowd of ponies and people fill your view.
  264. 264.
    “How am I supposed to get through that?”
  265. 265.
    >”Ah! It seems my brother-in-law has finally arrived. If you could all please clear the way for him.”
  266. 266.
    >The ocean of bodies separates to make a straight path from you to a platform.
  267. 267.
    >Shining Armor is on top of the platform with Twilight beside him.
  268. 268.
    >He is wearing a human military uniform.
  269. 269.
    >”What's with the duds?”
  270. 270.
    “Vinyl, have you ever gotten a little too caught up in one of your dream worlds?”
  271. 271.
    >”Couple times, why?”
  272. 272.
    “... We might be in trouble.”
  273. 273.
    >You walk to the stage, standing next to Shining.
  274. 274.
    >The stallion is smiling at you, offering you a hoof.
  275. 275.
    >”It's good to see you again Anon, when are you and Twily going to make me some nieces and nephews?”
  276. 276.
    >”Shining!”
  277. 277.
    >Twilight looks away, blushing as her hooves meet her cheeks.
  278. 278.
    “Shining, I think it's time to end this.”
  279. 279.
    >His smile soon turns to a scowl, retracting his hoof.
  280. 280.
    >”Stop what Anon?”
  281. 281.
    “The dream. Do you really want your sister to be trapped here her entire life? In a fictional world that isn't even based on your own?”
  282. 282.
    >Twilight has stopped acting like a bashful wife, eyes full of worry as she looks to her brother.
  283. 283.
    >”What is Anon talking about Shining?”
  284. 284.
    >”It's nothing Twily, I think Anon just isn't feeling well.”
  285. 285.
    >You look to Twilight, meeting her gaze with the most serious expression you can muster.
  286. 286.
    “None of this is real. Your brother has us trapped in a dream based on my world. Why he chose the 1950's, I'll never know. But this world is mine, not Equestria.”
  287. 287.
    >He laughs as he continues to scowl.
  288. 288.
    >”Of course this isn't Equestria! This is the proud U. S. of A!”
  289. 289.
    >Twilight grabs her head, shaking it.
  290. 290.
    >”Equestria... right, we live in Equestria.”
  291. 291.
    “Yes!”
  292. 292.
    >Shining trots over to you, hoof on your chest.
  293. 293.
    >”Don't listen to him Twily, something's clearly wrong with his head. We're Americans. Proud, civil, respectful Americans with wholesome family values.”
  294. 294.
    >You push his hoof off and stand.
  295. 295.
    >Twilight looks to the ground, thinking.
  296. 296.
    >”No... We're not. Shining, what's going on?”
  297. 297.
    “I told you, he trapped us in a dream. We're all in a hospital right now.”
  298. 298.
    >”Anon, you better shut your mouth now before I shut it for you.”
  299. 299.
    “Eat my *BEEP*.”
  300. 300.
    >The stallion growls and stands on his hind legs, trying to throw a punch at you.
  301. 301.
    >He may forget the fact he is a pony, but you don't.
  302. 302.
    >One quick push backwards has him toppling off the platform.
  303. 303.
    >”Anon, you broke a vase over my head... didn't you?”
  304. 304.
    >Turn to the distraught purple mare
  305. 305.
    “Only to stop you from casting that spell on me.”
  306. 306.
    >You saw what it did to the animals it hit.
  307. 307.
    >The thought of fucking Twilight like a man possessed didn't really sit well with you.
  308. 308.
    >”R-Right... I'm sorry.”
  309. 309.
    “So am I. Vinyl says she can't get us out of here because her magic isn't powerful enough, can you?”
  310. 310.
    >The mare gives a small smile before nodding.
  311. 311.
    >”I can try. One sec.”
  312. 312.
    >She focuses, horn shining.
  313. 313.
    >As she does, the world seems to shake a bit.
  314. 314.
    “I think it's working, keep going!”
  315. 315.
    >She nods again, closing her eyes.
  316. 316.
    >The moment her eyes close, a glowing purple spark shoots all over her body.
  317. 317.
    >She lets out a scream and falls to the floor.
  318. 318.
    “Twilight!”
  319. 319.
    >”I don't appreciate you making me hurt my own sister Anonymous!”
  320. 320.
    >Shining pulls himself back onto the platform, horn glowing and standing on his hind legs with perfect balance.
  321. 321.
    “I made you hurt her?! You chose to do all this!”
  322. 322.
    >”I chose to give her a perfect life! Now, because of you, she can't even have that anymore.”
  323. 323.
    >Twilight stands, eyes a pure purple.
  324. 324.
    >Her expression lacks any hint of emotion.
  325. 325.
    “Twilight? Are you okay?”
  326. 326.
    >”Anon, honey... Let's go home, please?”
  327. 327.
    >The same purple haze you saw before circles her head.
  328. 328.
    “Shining, stop it!”
  329. 329.
    >”You made me do this Anon!”
  330. 330.
    >His horn glows brighter, sparking.
  331. 331.
    >”Anon, run!”
  332. 332.
    >Vinyl drops a mirror in front of him as he aims for you.
  333. 333.
    >The stallions stops the spell and punches the glass.
  334. 334.
    >Every member of the fake crowd flees in terror.
  335. 335.
    >You bolt for the only cover close by, a few thick trees.
  336. 336.
    “Vinyl?”
  337. 337.
    >”Yeah buddy?”
  338. 338.
    “I don't think I can get close to him any more. Pretty sure he'll shoot me the chance he can.”
  339. 339.
    >”Yeah, probably best to keep your distance.”
  340. 340.
    >Shoot...
  341. 341.
    “Vinyl? Can you give me a gun?”
  342. 342.
    >”What's a gun?”
  343. 343.
    >Right, no firearms in Equestria.
  344. 344.
    “A gun is like a slingshot, but it fires bullets instead of rocks. It's also shoots ten times faster.”
  345. 345.
    >”Okay, let me try!”
  346. 346.
    >Shining blasts one of the trees you are hiding behind, forcing you to move.
  347. 347.
    >As you run, a giant pair of rubber-band launchers land in front of you.
  348. 348.
    “What the heck is this?”
  349. 349.
    >”A gun!”
  350. 350.
    “No! These are rubber-band launchers! A gun is more lethal. Try again, okay?”
  351. 351.
    >”On it.”
  352. 352.
    >You pick them up anyways, figuring they can at least buy some time.
  353. 353.
    >Take aim for the bipedal pony and fire.
  354. 354.
    >The rubber-band flies at the speed of a bullet in between Shining's head.
  355. 355.
    >”GAH! DAMMIT!”
  356. 356.
    “Whoa, I take it back, these work!”
  357. 357.
    >You fire again, hitting him in the -arm-.
  358. 358.
    >”QUIT THAT!”
  359. 359.
    >A smirk forms on your lips as you ready to fire again.
  360. 360.
    >As you do, the launchers turn to two pistols.
  361. 361.
    >”Gun?”
  362. 362.
    “Gun!”
  363. 363.
    >With your new weapons in hand, you aim for the stallion again.
  364. 364.
    >”Ah ah ah! No firearms for civilians!”
  365. 365.
    >The guns burn to ash in your hands.
  366. 366.
    “Gah! *BEEP*!”
  367. 367.
    >”Anon! You all right?”
  368. 368.
    “It burns, but I'm fine.”
  369. 369.
    >Shining is walking towards you, grinning with malice as he does.
  370. 370.
    “Vinyl? I could really use a weapon right now!”
  371. 371.
    >”Hm... those guns sure did look cool.”
  372. 372.
    “Vinyl! Focus!”
  373. 373.
    >”Hold on, I have an idea.”
  374. 374.
    >Shining is mere feet from you, -cracking- his hooves.
  375. 375.
    >You take a step back for each one he makes forward.
  376. 376.
    >Vinyl chuckles and speaks up.
  377. 377.
    >”Anon, hands up in the air!”
  378. 378.
    >With not much choice, you throws your hand into the air.
  379. 379.
    >A strange object falls into them.
  380. 380.
    >”Now fire that thing like you just don't care!”
  381. 381.
    >Pull your arms back down and aim whatever it is in your hands at the menacing stallion.
  382. 382.
    >*Vrrrrrrrrrrr.*
  383. 383.
    “It's not working!”
  384. 384.
    >”Give it a sec.”
  385. 385.
    >Shining chuckles.
  386. 386.
    >”What is that? Some sort of toy?”
  387. 387.
    >He is shot back by a force of air filled with loud mechanical noises.
  388. 388.
    >It takes you a moment to recognize the sounds.
  389. 389.
    “Dubstep?!”
  390. 390.
    >”Music isn't a weapon, right?”
  391. 391.
    >You chuckle at the mare's messed up logic.
  392. 392.
    >The moment doesn't last long.
  393. 393.
    >Clouds start to turn black.
  394. 394.
    >Entire segments of the city seem to collapse away.
  395. 395.
    >A truck comes flying at you.
  396. 396.
    “*BEEP*!”
  397. 397.
    >You duck and miss being a bloody mess by mere inches.
  398. 398.
    >”I have had ENOUGH of you monkey!”
  399. 399.
    >Shining leaps into the air.
  400. 400.
    >He creates a crater not too far from you.
  401. 401.
    >”You think I am some sort of fool?! Do you think you can mess with me?! I created this world! It is mine to bend to my whim!”
  402. 402.
    “Maybe, but your sister and I aren't!”
  403. 403.
    >You aim the dubstep gun back at the stallion, giving him a large barrage of bass and heavy beats.
  404. 404.
    >He takes each hit, stepping towards you.
  405. 405.
    >Vinyl chuckles, clapping her hooves.
  406. 406.
    >”Keep it up Anon! I can feel him losing his grip on the world!”
  407. 407.
    >Shining lets off a glass shattering roar.
  408. 408.
    >His eyes glow, lifting your weapon from your hands.
  409. 409.
    >It disintegrates in front of you.
  410. 410.
    “Oh shit...”
  411. 411.
    >You can curse again!
  412. 412.
    >”Watch. Your. MOUTH!”
  413. 413.
    >He lifts you and shoots you back to the platform, next to the controlled Twilight.
  414. 414.
    >It feels like you broke a couple of ribs.
  415. 415.
    >Before you can lift yourself up, Shining is running for the stage.
  416. 416.
    >You need a plan, quick!
  417. 417.
    “Shining wait! I give up!”
  418. 418.
    >He slows down, smirking.
  419. 419.
    >”I knew even a simple minded creature such as yourself had a basic survival instinct.”
  420. 420.
    “Yeah... I give up.”
  421. 421.
    >He brushes off his hooves, body forming back to how it was before the fight.
  422. 422.
    >”Very well, I accept your surrender on the grounds you live the rest of your life with one purpose. Make my sister happy. You will treat her like a goddess, doing whatever she wishes and fulfilling her every fantasy. Should you ever disappoint her, your life will be forfeit.”
  423. 423.
    “I understand... I just have one question.”
  424. 424.
    >”One answer is all you'll get then.”
  425. 425.
    >You murmur under your breath.
  426. 426.
    “Vinyl, take the hint.”
  427. 427.
    >Shining grunts, annoyed.
  428. 428.
    >”What was that?”
  429. 429.
    “I said, what is the rule on fish here?”
  430. 430.
    >The stallion does not look amused.
  431. 431.
    >”You had bacon for breakfast. Fish as well as all meats are permitted to be eaten.”
  432. 432.
    “Oh? Really? So you wouldn't mind if I...”
  433. 433.
    >A large blue cloud is forming over Shining.
  434. 434.
    >”What in the-”
  435. 435.
    “Drop the bass!”
  436. 436.
    >A one hundred foot long, building thick, sea bass falls from the cloud.
  437. 437.
    >It lands on the military mayor.
  438. 438.
    “Did that do it Vinyl?”
  439. 439.
    >”Yep! Pulling you all now.”
  440. 440.
    >In a mere moment, everything turns a blinding white.
  441. 441.
    >”Anon!”
  442. 442.
    >The first thing you see as you awaken is Vinyl shaking your body.
  443. 443.
    >What once was a stone door is now back to its regular wooden state.
  444. 444.
    >There are doctors and nurses surrounding Twilight as she remains unconscious.
  445. 445.
    >Shining is passed out a couple feet in front of you.
  446. 446.
    >You push Vinyl off and walk to the stallion.
  447. 447.
    >He starts to come to, eyes fighting to open.
  448. 448.
    >”A-Anonym-”
  449. 449.
    >He is cut off by the sudden sensation of your fist against his jaw.
  450. 450.
    >Then again.
  451. 451.
    >Again.
  452. 452.
    >You continue to beat on the weary stallion for a good ten minutes.
  453. 453.
    >No one makes an attempt to stop you.
  454. 454.
    >The stallion is left an unconscious bloody mess with teeth missing when you are finished.
  455. 455.
    >You get off him then kick him once across the face for good measure.
  456. 456.
    “Fucking Shining.”
  457. 457.
    >Pain surges through your fists.
  458. 458.
    >Vinyl chuckles and hands you your now dead flowers.
  459. 459.
    >”You were out for quite a while.”
  460. 460.
    “Crap... Anyone have a pen and paper?”
  461. 461.
    >The sound of crickets chirping is the first thing you hear.
  462. 462.
    “... Nnn... Anon?”
  463. 463.
    >Your eyes flutter open, body weak and mind foggy.
  464. 464.
    “Oooh... Was it all a dream?”
  465. 465.
    >As you pull yourself up, a vase filled with dead flowers meets you.
  466. 466.
    >Attached to it is a note.
  467. 467.
    >You grab it and open it.
  468. 468.
    >”Dear Twilight. I wanted to come by and say how sorry I was for hitting you on the head with a vase, even though it was completely justified. However, your bat shit crazy brother kind of ruined that plan. In case you don't remember when you wake up; he put us in a dream world, lied to you, shocked you, was about to kill me, and was bested by Vinyl. Sounds like a fun adventure, doesn't it? Too bad it was all a dream. Oh, the flowers I brought you died too. They were wilty willows, so yeah. Sorry for almost killing you. -Your sort of friend Anon. And Vinyl.
  469. 469.
    >P.S. Shining Armor is also in the hospital. Anon beat the crap out of him when he woke up.”
  470. 470.
    “... He got me flowers!”
  471. 471.
    >You grab the brown stalks and squee.
  472. 472.
    >Sure he almost ended your life, but he didn't do it on purpose AND got you flowers!
  473. 473.
    >Expensive ones at that.
  474. 474.
    >Hopefully he can forgive your brother's attempt on his life.
  475. 475.
    >Now to start thinking up more ways to woo that wonderful human!
  476. 476.
    [Shining Armor ending]
  477. 477.
    >The amount of rage you have cannot be measured by conventional means.
  478. 478.
    >It's bad enough the human got away with hurting your sister.
  479. 479.
    >But he also earned her forgiveness, beat you in a world you were in control of, AND were bested by a pathetic DJ because of a darn fish!
  480. 480.
    >As if that was not bad enough, your entire upper body is in a cast due to the human's assault on you.
  481. 481.
    >”Shining, you have a visitor.”
  482. 482.
    >You do?
  483. 483.
    >Perhaps it's Twily or your wife Cadence.
  484. 484.
    >”Hey butt munch.”
  485. 485.
    >Nope, it's the weak Unicorn DJ who bested you.
  486. 486.
    >”Oooh, you must be mad. I can see your eyes popping.”
  487. 487.
    >The mare is at least observant.
  488. 488.
    >”Well, you're about to be a whole lot madder.”
  489. 489.
    >She pulls up a small thin white box and a serving platter.
  490. 490.
    >”Tell me, have you had lunch yet?”
  491. 491.
    “Mm”
  492. 492.
    >No.
  493. 493.
    >”Good, how about lunch and a show?”
  494. 494.
    >She lifts the top of the serving platter to reveal a raw bass.
  495. 495.
    >As if the mere sight of the tool she used to beat you wasn't enough, she forces two buds into your cast.
  496. 496.
    >They are blasting dubstep into your ears as she chuckles.
  497. 497.
    >”Yeah, no one fucks with my roomie. See you later Shitting Asshat.”
  498. 498.
    >She leaves, an undeserved feeling of accomplishment on her face.
  499. 499.
    >You will have your revenge on that
  500. 500.
    >Fucking DJ and the fucking human.

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