GREEN
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4874 27.44 KB 500
4874 27.44 KB 500
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Written by That_Happy_Guy
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>Day Never fuck with an older brother in Equestria (A.K.A. I've been playing way too much Saint's row 4)
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>”So, did you do it on purpose?”
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“No! Vinyl, do I look like the kind of sociopath who would nearly kill a person on purpose?!”
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>”First off, we're not people, we're ponies. Second... yes? I don't know, do humans usually do that?”
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“Of course no-... Not usu-... Well, I don't.”
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>Your roommate flashes you a smug smirk of victory as you two walk through the hospital's halls.
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>Twilight Sparkle, your stalker and seeker of your affections, was badly wounded when one of her attempts to woo you went horribly wrong.
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>True, you did hit her over the head with a vase as she tried to blast you with magic, but it was in self defense.
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>You didn't think it would nearly kill her!
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>To try and make amends, you are visiting her.
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>Even brought the little nerd some flowers.
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>”Hey, buddy, flowers are wilting.”
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>A quick look to the bouquet in your hand shows that Vinyl is right.
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“Wha- I just bought these! How can they be wilting so fast?!”
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>”Easy, you got wilty willows. Beautiful little things. Die almost instantly though.”
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>These were so expensive!
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>You are going to kill that vendor next time you see him.
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“Is there a way to save them?”
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>”Get them in a vase, it'll buy them a couple hours.”
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>Twilight should have a vase in her room from one of her other visitors.
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>A quick grab and switch should allow you to save these pieces of crap.
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>She'll understand, if not she'll forgive you anyways.
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>As you open the door to her room, a force pulls you in by the collar of your shirt, throwing you against the wall.
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“Oomph!”
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>”Anon!”
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>Vinyl tries to step in, but the door slams in front of her, turning to stone.
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>”Hello Anon.”
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“Twilight? What the fuck girl?!”
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>You stand to see that Twilight is still in her bed, sound asleep with some sort of hazy purple fog around her head.
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>”Don't say the F word around my sister!”
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>A ball of magic hits you in the gut.
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“F-Fu-uck! *Krph* Sh-Shin-ing, wh-what the hell man?!”
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>Another ball hits you like a fastball aimed for your stomach.
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>”Watch the language! Now stand up you jerk.”
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>Not wanting to piss off the pissed stallion any more than he is, you oblige him.
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“Wh-What do you want Shin*gack* Shining?”
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>”What I want? Oh, that's funny Anon, you're a funny guy!”
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>Shining finally shows himself, getting right up in your face (as best a pony can.).
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>”What I want is for my sister to like someone who is good enough for her. What I want is for her to stop getting hurt because the jerk she likes won't give her a chance! WHAT I WANT IS FOR TWILY TO BE HAPPY!”
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>He is charging a spell at point blank range in front of you.
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“She can be happy with someone else, she just needs to see that!”
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>”No, you just need to be taught some manners.”
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>He unloads his spell right in your face, blinding you and sending you reeling back.
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>The entire world goes black as your breathing slows.
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>Something feels off... like if you were being probed in the head.
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>You can't think too hard on it as you start to lose your hold in the conscious realm.
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>Day Fine weather in Sunnyvale.
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>Gosh and golly, there is a harsh sort of pain coming from your head.
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>Did you slip last night before bed?
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>Impossible, you're wearing your pajamas and have your covers on.
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>”Honey! Breakfast is ready!”
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>Jiminy crickets!
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>You're late for breakfast!
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>No time to worry about the pain in your head now.
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>Your wife is waiting for you!
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>A quick change of your attire to something spiffy and you head down to get some of her scrumdiddilyumptius cooking.
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“Mmm, breakfast sure smells heavenly dear!”
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>Twilight places three pancakes next to your bacon and eggs, smiling as you compliment her great skills in the kitchen.
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>”Oh hush! You sly fox you.”
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>You can't wait to dig in.
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>Take your seat and grab your fork!
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>Time to eat before you work!
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>”Oh! Honey, don't forget about Shining's rally today. He is such a fine mayor, always having these little rallies to help the community.”
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>He sure was!
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>Your brother-in-law made sure that Sunnyvale was always safe and the citizens were always happy.
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>The stallion is tough, but fair.
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“Don't worry dear, I'll be sure to stop by right after work and meet the ol' fella.”
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>”Thank you honey.”
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>Your best gal gives you a peck on the cheek as you finish breakfast.
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“Mmm, I'd love to stay and chat, but I need to head out pronto! I'll see you soon dear.”
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>”Have a safe day at work honey!”
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>With one last peck, you are out the door.
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>Your pony and human neighbors greet you as you step out of your house, stopping on your porch.
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>Ah, nothing like the view of a man's beautiful green lawn to bring a smile to his face.
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>Why, even your wilty willows are looking fine!
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>...
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>Wilty willows...
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>Why do these flowers bother you so much?
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>Hmmm, you never had them before.
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>Perhaps Twilight planted them this morning as a surprise?
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>That must be it.
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>*Crash!*
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>”Eek! Oh no!”
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>You look behind you to see Twilight heading towards the hallway to clean up a broken vase that somehow fell over.
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>But... Twilight was in the kitchen and you were out here.
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>How did the vase fall?
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>As you turn back to head to your car, a strange sight catches your attention.
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>The trees.
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>They are shaking, changing colors too.
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>Something is very off.
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>You take a step forward when a newspaper seems to drop from the sky.
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>Grabbing the strange roll, you look at the headline.
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“Anon, you're dreaming. What the... Wait, that hand writing.”
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>It's all coming back to you.
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>The accident, the hospital, Shining Armor hitting you with magic.
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>Where are you?
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>Why does everything look like it belongs in the 50's?
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>”Anon!”
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>Vinyl!
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>You look around to try and find your roomie.
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>”Anon, can you hear me?”
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“Yeah, where are you?”
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>Before she can respond. Your wi-... Twilight calls to you.
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>”Honey, is everything all right? Who are you talking to?”
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“Uh, everything is fine! Just talking to a friend.”
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>”Oh, okay! Don't talk for too long or you'll be late for work.”
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>Vinyl's voice seems to be right next to your ear, whispering.
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>”Don't draw attention to yourself. Just head to work and act casual.”
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>Listening to the mare's words, you head to your little box car and start to drive at a slow pace.
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>”Okay, we should be able to talk here.”
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“Vinyl, where are you? What's going on?”
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>”You won't be able to see me because I'm not in the spell... which brings me to my next point, Shining Armor hit you with a spell and you are in some sort of weird fictional dream world. Never seen any like this before.”
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“What? They have spells that can do that?”
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>”Duh, where do you think I go to when you see me vegging out? I hit myself with a dream world spell and let loose.”
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>That explains so many things; like her constant switching from being a heavy sleeper to a light one.
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“Wait, if this is all just a spell, can't you undo it?”
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>”No dice. Shining is much better with magic than I am. Plus, this one seems kind of... permanent.”
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>The way she said permanent seemed way too ominous.
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“Vinyl, what do you mean?”
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>”Err, what I'm saying is that he may be intending to keep the three of you in there forever.”
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>Oh balls.
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“Wait, three? Who else is in here?”
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>”Twilight and Shining, duh.”
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“He hit himself with his own spell... what kind of idiot does that?”
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>”I hit myself with this spell...”
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“Oh, but you do it on purpose.”
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>”So did he, he's the one in control of this dream.”
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“... You don't dream of times in history where the entire population were ignorant and close minded?”
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>”I don't think this is his dream. We don't have things like what you're in and he doesn't seem creative enough to think of something like it.”
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>Right, car.
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>Almost forgot you were driving one.
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>Focus on the road and-
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>*KRSH!*
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>... And hit a fire hydrant.
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>Back away slowly Anon, no one saw.
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“Okay, so how the *BEEP* do we... what the *BEEP*?”
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>”What did you say?”
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“I said *BEEP*... Vinyl, why can't I curse in my own dream?”
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>”Like I said, Shining is in charge here. If I had to guess, he doesn't like your potty mouth.”
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“Hey, I only curse when it's appropriate. Like now.”
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>”Suuuure, keep telling yourself that.”
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“Whatever... So why is he keeping me here?”
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>”Eh, if I had to guess, he wants you to like his sister by seeing her in a different light. The not creepy stalker light.”
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“... He wants me to hook up with Twilight, so he forced us into a dream world where I'm married to her while she and I have controlled personalities...”
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>Typical day in Equestria.
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“Okay, makes sense... wait, how are you and I talking? I thought you said you weren't in the dream.”
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>”Unicorn magic. I 'm a Unicorn, remember?”
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“Ah. So, you said this was permanent... uhh, there any way around that?”
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>”Not that I can see.”
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“... Hey Vinyl?”
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>”Yeah Anon?”
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“If this kills me, bury me as far away from Twilight as possible.”
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>”Wait, what are you planning? Anon?!”
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>You put the pedal to the metal and ram your box straight into a brick wall, ejecting you from the car.
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>Day Fine weather in Sunnyvale.
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>Gosh and golly, there is a harsh sort of pain coming from your head.
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>Did you slip last night before bed?
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>Impossible, you're wearing your pajamas and have your covers on.
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>”Honey! Breakfast is ready!”
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>Jiminy crickets!
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>You're late for breakfast!
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>No time to worry about the pain in your head now.
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>Your wi- wait, you did this all before.
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>”Hey, you're alive!”
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>Vinyl's voice rings next to your head.
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“Yeah. I figured killing myself in the dream would either free me or kill me for real.”
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>”Why?”
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“How it works in the movies. So, plan A was a bust. Want to try and come up with a plan B?”
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>”Well, Shining Armor is in the dream with you. I'd say weakening him in the dream should also weaken him for real. Get him weak enough and I can break the spell.”
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“How do you know that'll work?”
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>”I don't. If it doesn't, we'll just try something else right?”
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“Eh, good point. So, how's my body doing?”
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>”Don't know, door's still stone.”
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“Oh. Huh.”
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>Can't go beating the *BEEP* out of this *BEEP*hole in your P.J.s, better get changed.
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>Giving your closet a quick look through shows that there is nothing to wear but stuff even your grandma wouldn't touch.
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“I'm not going out wearing this *BEEP* again.”
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>”You have to wear something, Twilight will get suspicious and might alert Shining.”
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“And my cursing and suicide attempt didn't?”
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>”No, oddly enough, it didn't. He might be focusing on Twilight, letting you slip up here and there so long as she's happy.”
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>He may be a psychotic *BEEP*hole, but he is a committed brother to say the least.
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“Ugh... so I have to wear this stuff?”
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>”... Maybe not, let me try something.”
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>The mare is silent, leaving you waiting.
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>”Okay, look behind you.”
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>You turn around and see that there is a business suit on your bed.
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“Better. So you can add stuff to this world?”
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>”Wilty willows, vase breaking, newspaper. All me.”
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“Right. Shining know you're here?”
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>”Either he doesn't or he doesn't care.”
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“Yay apathy. So, what's the plan?”
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>”Head downstairs, keep Twilight happy until Shining shows up, kick his ass enough for me to overpower him, come home, get ice cream.”
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“I like it, good plan Vinyl, good plan... did you just say *BEEP*?”
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>”Huh, looks like I did... ass ass ass ass ass ass ass!”
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“I hate you so much right now.”
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>”Honey? Are you okay up there?”
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>*BEEP*, forgot about purple smart.
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“Fine! Just fine. I'll be down in a moment.”
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>Put on the suit and head downstairs to see a plate full of hot food waiting for you.
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>It was good the first time, might as well see if it is still good the second time.
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>Sit down and enjoy the meal again.
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>”Mmm, honey, you look down right spiffy! What's the occasion?”
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“Ah, just figured I should look my best when I head to Shining's rally.”
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>The purple mare smiles and shakes her head.
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>She then wraps her hooves around your neck and hugs you.
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>”I KNEW you would remember! Oh honey, I'm sure he'll appreciate your efforts to dress up for his little rally.”
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>Despite the fact she is an obsessive nut case about thirty percent of the time, Twilight has her many moments of cuteness.
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>This is one of them.
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“Well, I owe the guy a lot.”
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>Like an *BEEP*kicking.
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>”Still. Oh! Look at the time! You'll be late for work, better hurry.”
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>She gives you a peck before going to wash the dishes.
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>Finish the pancakes and bacon before heading out.
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>”So, where do you work Anon?”
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“Like I'd know... Just drive around until the rally?”
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>You step into the car and turn the engine over.
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>”Not a good idea. Pretty sure Twilight getting a call that her -hubby- is playing hooky will set off a few alarms.”
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“Fair enough... Huh, what's this?”
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>There is a briefcase laying on your passenger side seat.
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>Test to see if it's locked.
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>Nope.
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>Flip the top open and look through the papers.
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“... I'm an accountant.”
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>”Oh, that sounds... fun.”
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>It was a grueling eight hours, but you made it.
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>Finished with your work day, you can go kick the *BEEP* out of Shining.
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>Both for putting you in this *BEEP* hole and making you go through eight hours of pure number crunching mind numbing torture.
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>”You ready for this?”
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“Oh, I am so ready. Where is he?”
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>”He's the mayor, where do you think he is?”
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>Shrug and get in your car, about to make your way to city hall.
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>There is literally no traffic on the streets, as if all the parked cars you passed were cleared.
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>”Hey, what's on the radio?”
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>Your car's radio knob glows and turns on.
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>”OH you ain't nothin but a hound dog, cryin all the time! Ain't nothin but a hound dog, cryin all the time!”
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>”Oh dear Celestia! Make it stop!”
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>You chuckle and shut off the radio.
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>”Ponies say my taste in music is bad, but THAT?! Something like that existed?!”
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“What's wrong with Elvis?
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>”Is that what that's called? Elvis?”
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“No, it's the guy who- never mind. So, plan?”
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>”Same, kick his ass, break the spell, ice cream.”
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“Mhmm, and how do you see me kicking a Unicorn with magic on his side's *BEEP*?”
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>”Uhhh... Hold on.”
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>Vinyl goes silent before a wooden bat appears on top of your briefcase
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“Well, that'll work. Not like he has MAGIC on his side.”
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>”I'm trying here! Let me see if I can't...”
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>The bat turns metal.
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“... I'll just wing it.”
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>The rest of the ride is had with an awkward silence in the air.
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>After you park your car, Vinyl finally speaks up.
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>”Maybe try negotiating with him first?”
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“Yeah, considering my only other option is a bat, I probably should.”
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>You let a heavy sigh before exiting your car.
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>Shining's voice is heard throughout the city.
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>”-And we will stand against them. The city of Sunnyvalle shall never be without protection.”
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>Cheers are ringing, following his proclamation.
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>”Someone's a little full of themselves. Who makes an entire world full of ponies to kiss your ass?”
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“I can think of a few.”
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>As you turn a corner to stand on the same block as city hall, a large crowd of ponies and people fill your view.
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“How am I supposed to get through that?”
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>”Ah! It seems my brother-in-law has finally arrived. If you could all please clear the way for him.”
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>The ocean of bodies separates to make a straight path from you to a platform.
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>Shining Armor is on top of the platform with Twilight beside him.
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>He is wearing a human military uniform.
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>”What's with the duds?”
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“Vinyl, have you ever gotten a little too caught up in one of your dream worlds?”
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>”Couple times, why?”
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“... We might be in trouble.”
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>You walk to the stage, standing next to Shining.
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>The stallion is smiling at you, offering you a hoof.
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>”It's good to see you again Anon, when are you and Twily going to make me some nieces and nephews?”
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>”Shining!”
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>Twilight looks away, blushing as her hooves meet her cheeks.
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“Shining, I think it's time to end this.”
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>His smile soon turns to a scowl, retracting his hoof.
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>”Stop what Anon?”
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“The dream. Do you really want your sister to be trapped here her entire life? In a fictional world that isn't even based on your own?”
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>Twilight has stopped acting like a bashful wife, eyes full of worry as she looks to her brother.
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>”What is Anon talking about Shining?”
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>”It's nothing Twily, I think Anon just isn't feeling well.”
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>You look to Twilight, meeting her gaze with the most serious expression you can muster.
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“None of this is real. Your brother has us trapped in a dream based on my world. Why he chose the 1950's, I'll never know. But this world is mine, not Equestria.”
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>He laughs as he continues to scowl.
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>”Of course this isn't Equestria! This is the proud U. S. of A!”
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>Twilight grabs her head, shaking it.
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>”Equestria... right, we live in Equestria.”
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“Yes!”
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>Shining trots over to you, hoof on your chest.
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>”Don't listen to him Twily, something's clearly wrong with his head. We're Americans. Proud, civil, respectful Americans with wholesome family values.”
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>You push his hoof off and stand.
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>Twilight looks to the ground, thinking.
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>”No... We're not. Shining, what's going on?”
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“I told you, he trapped us in a dream. We're all in a hospital right now.”
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>”Anon, you better shut your mouth now before I shut it for you.”
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“Eat my *BEEP*.”
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>The stallion growls and stands on his hind legs, trying to throw a punch at you.
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>He may forget the fact he is a pony, but you don't.
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>One quick push backwards has him toppling off the platform.
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>”Anon, you broke a vase over my head... didn't you?”
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>Turn to the distraught purple mare
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“Only to stop you from casting that spell on me.”
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>You saw what it did to the animals it hit.
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>The thought of fucking Twilight like a man possessed didn't really sit well with you.
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>”R-Right... I'm sorry.”
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“So am I. Vinyl says she can't get us out of here because her magic isn't powerful enough, can you?”
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>The mare gives a small smile before nodding.
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>”I can try. One sec.”
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>She focuses, horn shining.
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>As she does, the world seems to shake a bit.
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“I think it's working, keep going!”
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>She nods again, closing her eyes.
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>The moment her eyes close, a glowing purple spark shoots all over her body.
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>She lets out a scream and falls to the floor.
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“Twilight!”
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>”I don't appreciate you making me hurt my own sister Anonymous!”
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>Shining pulls himself back onto the platform, horn glowing and standing on his hind legs with perfect balance.
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“I made you hurt her?! You chose to do all this!”
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>”I chose to give her a perfect life! Now, because of you, she can't even have that anymore.”
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>Twilight stands, eyes a pure purple.
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>Her expression lacks any hint of emotion.
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“Twilight? Are you okay?”
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>”Anon, honey... Let's go home, please?”
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>The same purple haze you saw before circles her head.
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“Shining, stop it!”
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>”You made me do this Anon!”
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>His horn glows brighter, sparking.
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>”Anon, run!”
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>Vinyl drops a mirror in front of him as he aims for you.
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>The stallions stops the spell and punches the glass.
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>Every member of the fake crowd flees in terror.
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>You bolt for the only cover close by, a few thick trees.
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“Vinyl?”
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>”Yeah buddy?”
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“I don't think I can get close to him any more. Pretty sure he'll shoot me the chance he can.”
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>”Yeah, probably best to keep your distance.”
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>Shoot...
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“Vinyl? Can you give me a gun?”
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>”What's a gun?”
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>Right, no firearms in Equestria.
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“A gun is like a slingshot, but it fires bullets instead of rocks. It's also shoots ten times faster.”
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>”Okay, let me try!”
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>Shining blasts one of the trees you are hiding behind, forcing you to move.
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>As you run, a giant pair of rubber-band launchers land in front of you.
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“What the heck is this?”
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>”A gun!”
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“No! These are rubber-band launchers! A gun is more lethal. Try again, okay?”
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>”On it.”
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>You pick them up anyways, figuring they can at least buy some time.
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>Take aim for the bipedal pony and fire.
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>The rubber-band flies at the speed of a bullet in between Shining's head.
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>”GAH! DAMMIT!”
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“Whoa, I take it back, these work!”
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>You fire again, hitting him in the -arm-.
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>”QUIT THAT!”
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>A smirk forms on your lips as you ready to fire again.
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>As you do, the launchers turn to two pistols.
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>”Gun?”
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“Gun!”
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>With your new weapons in hand, you aim for the stallion again.
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>”Ah ah ah! No firearms for civilians!”
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>The guns burn to ash in your hands.
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“Gah! *BEEP*!”
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>”Anon! You all right?”
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“It burns, but I'm fine.”
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>Shining is walking towards you, grinning with malice as he does.
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“Vinyl? I could really use a weapon right now!”
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>”Hm... those guns sure did look cool.”
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“Vinyl! Focus!”
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>”Hold on, I have an idea.”
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>Shining is mere feet from you, -cracking- his hooves.
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>You take a step back for each one he makes forward.
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>Vinyl chuckles and speaks up.
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>”Anon, hands up in the air!”
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>With not much choice, you throws your hand into the air.
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>A strange object falls into them.
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>”Now fire that thing like you just don't care!”
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>Pull your arms back down and aim whatever it is in your hands at the menacing stallion.
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>*Vrrrrrrrrrrr.*
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“It's not working!”
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>”Give it a sec.”
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>Shining chuckles.
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>”What is that? Some sort of toy?”
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>He is shot back by a force of air filled with loud mechanical noises.
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>It takes you a moment to recognize the sounds.
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“Dubstep?!”
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>”Music isn't a weapon, right?”
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>You chuckle at the mare's messed up logic.
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>The moment doesn't last long.
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>Clouds start to turn black.
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>Entire segments of the city seem to collapse away.
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>A truck comes flying at you.
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“*BEEP*!”
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>You duck and miss being a bloody mess by mere inches.
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>”I have had ENOUGH of you monkey!”
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>Shining leaps into the air.
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>He creates a crater not too far from you.
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>”You think I am some sort of fool?! Do you think you can mess with me?! I created this world! It is mine to bend to my whim!”
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“Maybe, but your sister and I aren't!”
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>You aim the dubstep gun back at the stallion, giving him a large barrage of bass and heavy beats.
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>He takes each hit, stepping towards you.
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>Vinyl chuckles, clapping her hooves.
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>”Keep it up Anon! I can feel him losing his grip on the world!”
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>Shining lets off a glass shattering roar.
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>His eyes glow, lifting your weapon from your hands.
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>It disintegrates in front of you.
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“Oh shit...”
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>You can curse again!
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>”Watch. Your. MOUTH!”
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>He lifts you and shoots you back to the platform, next to the controlled Twilight.
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>It feels like you broke a couple of ribs.
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>Before you can lift yourself up, Shining is running for the stage.
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>You need a plan, quick!
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“Shining wait! I give up!”
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>He slows down, smirking.
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>”I knew even a simple minded creature such as yourself had a basic survival instinct.”
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“Yeah... I give up.”
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>He brushes off his hooves, body forming back to how it was before the fight.
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>”Very well, I accept your surrender on the grounds you live the rest of your life with one purpose. Make my sister happy. You will treat her like a goddess, doing whatever she wishes and fulfilling her every fantasy. Should you ever disappoint her, your life will be forfeit.”
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“I understand... I just have one question.”
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>”One answer is all you'll get then.”
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>You murmur under your breath.
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“Vinyl, take the hint.”
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>Shining grunts, annoyed.
-
>”What was that?”
-
“I said, what is the rule on fish here?”
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>The stallion does not look amused.
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>”You had bacon for breakfast. Fish as well as all meats are permitted to be eaten.”
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“Oh? Really? So you wouldn't mind if I...”
-
>A large blue cloud is forming over Shining.
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>”What in the-”
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“Drop the bass!”
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>A one hundred foot long, building thick, sea bass falls from the cloud.
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>It lands on the military mayor.
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“Did that do it Vinyl?”
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>”Yep! Pulling you all now.”
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>In a mere moment, everything turns a blinding white.
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>”Anon!”
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>The first thing you see as you awaken is Vinyl shaking your body.
-
>What once was a stone door is now back to its regular wooden state.
-
>There are doctors and nurses surrounding Twilight as she remains unconscious.
-
>Shining is passed out a couple feet in front of you.
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>You push Vinyl off and walk to the stallion.
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>He starts to come to, eyes fighting to open.
-
>”A-Anonym-”
-
>He is cut off by the sudden sensation of your fist against his jaw.
-
>Then again.
-
>Again.
-
>You continue to beat on the weary stallion for a good ten minutes.
-
>No one makes an attempt to stop you.
-
>The stallion is left an unconscious bloody mess with teeth missing when you are finished.
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>You get off him then kick him once across the face for good measure.
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“Fucking Shining.”
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>Pain surges through your fists.
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>Vinyl chuckles and hands you your now dead flowers.
-
>”You were out for quite a while.”
-
“Crap... Anyone have a pen and paper?”
-
>The sound of crickets chirping is the first thing you hear.
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“... Nnn... Anon?”
-
>Your eyes flutter open, body weak and mind foggy.
-
“Oooh... Was it all a dream?”
-
>As you pull yourself up, a vase filled with dead flowers meets you.
-
>Attached to it is a note.
-
>You grab it and open it.
-
>”Dear Twilight. I wanted to come by and say how sorry I was for hitting you on the head with a vase, even though it was completely justified. However, your bat shit crazy brother kind of ruined that plan. In case you don't remember when you wake up; he put us in a dream world, lied to you, shocked you, was about to kill me, and was bested by Vinyl. Sounds like a fun adventure, doesn't it? Too bad it was all a dream. Oh, the flowers I brought you died too. They were wilty willows, so yeah. Sorry for almost killing you. -Your sort of friend Anon. And Vinyl.
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>P.S. Shining Armor is also in the hospital. Anon beat the crap out of him when he woke up.”
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“... He got me flowers!”
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>You grab the brown stalks and squee.
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>Sure he almost ended your life, but he didn't do it on purpose AND got you flowers!
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>Expensive ones at that.
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>Hopefully he can forgive your brother's attempt on his life.
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>Now to start thinking up more ways to woo that wonderful human!
-
[Shining Armor ending]
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>The amount of rage you have cannot be measured by conventional means.
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>It's bad enough the human got away with hurting your sister.
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>But he also earned her forgiveness, beat you in a world you were in control of, AND were bested by a pathetic DJ because of a darn fish!
-
>As if that was not bad enough, your entire upper body is in a cast due to the human's assault on you.
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>”Shining, you have a visitor.”
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>You do?
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>Perhaps it's Twily or your wife Cadence.
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>”Hey butt munch.”
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>Nope, it's the weak Unicorn DJ who bested you.
-
>”Oooh, you must be mad. I can see your eyes popping.”
-
>The mare is at least observant.
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>”Well, you're about to be a whole lot madder.”
-
>She pulls up a small thin white box and a serving platter.
-
>”Tell me, have you had lunch yet?”
-
“Mm”
-
>No.
-
>”Good, how about lunch and a show?”
-
>She lifts the top of the serving platter to reveal a raw bass.
-
>As if the mere sight of the tool she used to beat you wasn't enough, she forces two buds into your cast.
-
>They are blasting dubstep into your ears as she chuckles.
-
>”Yeah, no one fucks with my roomie. See you later Shitting Asshat.”
-
>She leaves, an undeserved feeling of accomplishment on her face.
-
>You will have your revenge on that
-
>Fucking DJ and the fucking human.
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