GREEN
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6597 37.4 KB 635
6597 37.4 KB 635
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Written by That_Happy_Guy
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>Day Will they be Feral in Equestria.
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>A soft fuzzy thing is touching your nose, pulling you from your sweet dream of chocolate rivers and doughnut trees.
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>You smack at it a couple times, hoping to reclaim the land of sugar and diabetus.
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>It's all in vain as the fluffy thing sticks itself in your mouth.
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>Choking at it, you pull it out and are forced awake.
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“Fucking, gah! Nasty shit.”
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>Spitting and hacking up whatever that thing was in your mouth, you finally notice you aren't home any more.
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>Your bed seems to have been transported somewhere in the middle of a swamp.
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>A smelly, dark, misty swamp.
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>The fuzzy thing pokes your arm a few times.
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>Turning, you see Pinkie smiling at you, still poking your arm with her tail.
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>”Hi Nonny!”
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>You blink a few times, unsure what to say.
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>”... Hi Nonny?”
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“Hi... Uhhh, hey, Pinkie?”
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>She sits on your bed, the fact she is in the middle of a swamp not seeming to bother her.
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>”Yeah Nonny?”
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“Where are we?”
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>She thinks for a second, moving her hoof around while muttering.
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>”Subtract the three, add for wind resistance... about one hundred and eighty miles away from Ponyville.”
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>Silence fills the air as you try and rationalize what she just said.
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“One hundred and eighty miles...”
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>”Give or take, yeah.”
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>Taking a deep breath, you release and cast your gaze on the mare.
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“... WHY?!”
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>Her mane flies back a bit from your outburst.
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>”Because everyone in Ponyville is trying to fuck, and a lot of our friends tried to rape you in your sleep, but I wouldn't have that so I blew your house up while strapping us to your bed so that you wouldn't be raped.”
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>Dropping your jaw, Pinkie pulls it back up and continues to sit.
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“My house... you blew up my house?! Wait, ponies were trying to rape me in my sleep?”
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>”Muh huh.”
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“Why?! Why would they try to do that?! What possible rational explanation would they have to want to force themselves on me?!”
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>”Discord did stuff.”
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>Letting your arms go limp, you sigh and look down.
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“Of course. So, he's evil again?”
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>Pinkie shakes her head.
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>”No, he had this weird black rectangle with a screen. He kept staring at it with a weird smile while stroking his six dicks.”
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>Your eyes squint a bit.
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“Discord has six dicks? Wait, black rectangle... ah fuck! The bastard has my iPod! All of my games- ALL OF MY PORN!”
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>Jumping from your bed, you land in the swamp and start to drag your bare feet as quick as you can muster.
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>”Nonny, where are you going?”
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“I need to get my iPod back! No one must know what kind of shit gets me off!”
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>Pinkie paddles your bed next to you.
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>”It's too late to save it, all of Ponyville is probably in full rape mode now!”
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“What am I supposed to do then? That's my shit!”
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>”Easy, we need to go see Princess Celestia. She'll go give Discord a booty call and then whatever magic he is casting will stop. THEN you can get your iPod.”
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>Sighing, you shake your head.
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“Jesus... fine, where is Canterlot?”
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>Pinkie points behind you.
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>”That way!”
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>She paddles twice before stopping.
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>”Wait... that way!”
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>Groaning, you follow the mare as she rides your bed.
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>The pink mare stops, looking to you.
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>”Don't you want on?”
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“I am fine with walking.”
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>She giggles, grabbing your shoulders, attempting to lift you.
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>”Come oooon, don't be a grumpy pants.”
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>You try to shake her off.
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”I'm fine Pinkie!”
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>She pulls harder, almost getting you on the bed, however something is caught on your foot.
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>With your upper body laying against the bed, you look to your foot.
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>It gets pulled in, dragging you a couple inches back into the swamp.
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>”Nonny!”
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>Grabbing the bed, you and Pinkie try to get whatever is on your foot to let go.
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>It stretches a bit, loud whimpering filling the air.
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>With one last tug, you pull yourself onto the bed.
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>The thing is still attached to your foot though.
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>It looks like a big mud covered rock.
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>Pinkie pounces the thing, punching it as it screams and curls against your foot.
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>”Stop-STOP! Guys, it's me!”
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>Wait a minute, you know that childlike throaty voice.
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>Pulling Pinkie off, you clean the thing and see familiar green and purple scales.
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“Spike?”
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>He nods, wiping away the rest of the mud.
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>”Yeah, Spike! You know, the BABY dragon, ring any bells?!”
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>Pinkie blinks a few times.
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>”Spike? Whoa, I mistook you for a smelly pirate hooker!”
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>Pausing, you both look to the mare.
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“... How does he even remotely resemble a pirate or a hooker?”
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>He furrows his brow and looks to you.
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>”Are you saying I smell?”
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“Just calling it how I sniff it.”
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>Pinkie giggles and resumes paddling your bed towards what you hope is Canterlot.
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>”Whoo, Spike! How'd you get here?”
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>He groans, rubbing his eye and arm.
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>”I was hiding under Anon's bed when his house got blown up.”
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>You look to him and feel like asking the obvious question.
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“Why?”
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>”Because Twilight was trying to stick stuff up my butt! I tried to hide with Rarity, but she tried to dress me up in girl clothes THEN stick stuff up my butt. Got away from her, tried Applejack and-”
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“Let me guess, she tried to stick stuff up your butt?”
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>He nods.
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>”Apples.”
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“Yeah, Pinkie says Discord is responsible for that.”
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>He sighs and shakes his head, stopping and staring at your pink companion.
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>”Wait, then how come you aren't trying to stick stuff up my butt?”
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>You are about to answer when you realize you don't know.
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“That... is a very good question. Well Pinkie? How come you aren't in full on rape mode?”
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>She stops paddling and looks to you two, deadpan and pointing her hooves to herself.
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>”Guys, it's me. Have you not been paying attention to what I do at all? Do you- do you even KNOW the kind of things I can pull off?”
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>She brings a hoof to her mouth and blows, growing five full nailless fingers.
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>You crawl back as leans forward Spike.
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“Jesus!”
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>”Whoa-ho cool!”
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>She giggles and wags her hand-hoof until it is just a regular hoof again.
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>”Yeah, so, Discord's stuff didn't do nothing for nothing on me.”
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>You look to Spike.
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“And you?”
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>He shrugs.
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>”Beats me. Doesn't work on dragons?”
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>Pinkie chimes in just as your bed reaches land.
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>”His balls haven't dropped yet.”
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“Oh, makes sense.”
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>Spike looks confused.
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>”What balls?”
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>Departing from your bed, you realize you are still in your boxers.
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“How am I supposed to go out in public like this?”
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>Pinkie puts Spike onto the ground, then pulls your cover off the bed.
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>She wraps it around your waist so you aren't entirely near nude.
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>Spike pokes your arms as you check out your temp duds.
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>”What balls?”
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“You'll find out when you're older.”
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>He groans and gets on Pinkie's back.
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>”Fine, but you better tell me!”
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>You're not going to tell him.
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>He's not your kid, let Twilight cross that bridge.
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>As Pinkie trots ahead, you adjust your sheet.
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“So, how far to Canterlot?”
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>”Not far! We just have to go through the canyon that a bunch of teenage dragons hang out at.”
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>Your eyes go wide as you stop.
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>Spike and Pinkie turn to you, stopping once they realize you aren't following.
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>”What?”
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>You look to the mare.
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“Teenage dragons?”
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>”Muh huh!”
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>You whimper.
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“Oh god, we're going to get fucking raped.”
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>Cautiously following Pinkie through the canyon, you wonder how she and Spike can be so relaxed at a time like this.
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>They are even singing songs for crying out loud!
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>Spike is picking up the chorus and Pinkie is holding the solos.
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>”The Nina, oh, the Pinta, oh, the Santa Maria! Oh, I'll do you in the bottom while you're drinking Sangria!”
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>”Boats n' hoes, boats n' hoes! I gotta have me more boats 'n' hoes!”
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>You swear, Pinkie is a bad influence on him.
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>A laugh fills the air, one too masculine to be Pinkie's and too deep to be Spike's.
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>”Nachos, lemon heads, my dad's boat, you won't go down because my dick can float!”
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>The three of you stop dead in your tracks, looking for the voice.
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>Another voice joins the first.
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>”We sail round the world and go port to port, every time I cum, I produce a quart!”
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>The pink mare starts to backtrack towards you as the canyon fills with laughter, many voices joining in, singing as a chorus.
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>”Put on your life vest, let's drop anchor, there's a nice lady whore, let's totally swank her!”
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>Dozens of dragons appear on the walls of the canyon, surrounding you three.
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>You notice each dragon is sporting an erection, eying Pinkie up and down.
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>The need to bleach your eyes has never been so strong.
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“Run!”
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>You start to dash like a madman, Pinkie following you as the dragon boys start to jump towards the ground.
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>The sound of their teenage hormone driven stampede is growing closer, causing you to haul ass harder than before, passing Pinkie and her dragon rider..
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>Pinkie squeals, obviously haven gotten caught.
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>”Nonny!”
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>Spike screams out as well, more laughter following it.
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>”A-Anon! Help Uuuuuuu-...”
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>Panting, you finally realize you were still running.
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>Are still running, actually.
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>In fact, the exit to the canyon is just up ahead!
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>You can see Canterlot from here, you're going to make it!
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>... As Pinkie and Spike get a train run on them.
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>Each hole being used, possibly by more than one guy at a time...
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>You finally stop, looking back into the canyon.
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>Then towards Canterlot again.
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>Canyon, Canterlot, canyon, Canterlot...
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>Groaning, you run back into the canyon, going to save Pinkie and Spike from being gangraped.
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>It took you a few minutes to find some tracks to follow, but you now have an idea of where the dragons took your friends.
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>As you near a cave, you hear loud music playing from within.
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>It kind of sounds like -Don't fear the Reaper-, but with another instrument you aren't familiar with added in.
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>Very prominently at that.
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>Moans and yells fill the air as the song finishes.
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>”God dammit Larry! What did we say about the cowbell?!”
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>”Hey! I have a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell!”
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>The instrument from before continues playing, more than likely a cowbell since -Larry- is yelling excitedly as it plays.
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>You hide behind a rock and see a sight that you imagine is what Woodstock was like.
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>There are nude dragon teens everywhere, multiple men to every woman.
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>Those that aren't fucking are off to the sides, breathing fire on various grasses and pills.
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>Among the stoners is Pinkie.
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>She seems to be having a good time, and unlike the rest of the females you can see, doesn't have cum on any inch of her body.
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>With a bit of relief, you continue to scan until you see a large stage with a Minotaur band atop it.
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>A shortish minotaur with cut-off jeans is bashing a stick against a cowbell, smiling like an idiot the whole time.
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>In a bird cage next to the stage is Spike!
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>He is staring at the ground, frowning as some dragon teens throw pills into the cage.
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>You grit your teeth and are about to sneak over when a large hand places itself on your shoulder.
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>”Where do you think you're going pint sized?”
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>Gulping, you stutter, trying to avoid having your bunghole violated by a lizard phallus.
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“I-I was just going to go over there and rescue my dragon buddy. He's just a baby, you know?”
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>”Mhmm. I'ma take you over to big Bill, he'll decide what we're gonna do to you, and that fine booty.”
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>A clawed hand grabs your ass, causing you to whimper.
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>It smacks your butt once, pushing you further into the cave.
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>Almost every eye is on you now, including Pinkie's.
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>”Nonny! Oh man, you have got to try this Frankenstein! It's aweeeesoooome.”
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>Yep, she's definitely high.
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>And not in any danger, meaning you're risking your butt hole for no good reason.
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>Fuck your life.
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>Walking past the stoners, you are pushed into a room hidden behind some bead curtains.
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>In the room is a large, fat, black dragon laying on a water bed.
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“Whoa, so that's why they call you big Bill.”
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>He shakes his head.
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>”Nah, this is.”
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>He takes a deep breath before focusing.
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>A large dick reveals itself, almost as big as you are.
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“Sweet Jesus fucking Christ on a Mercedes Benz!”
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>He chuckles, nodding.
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>”I can make it dance too, watch.”
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>Just like he said, he can control the form of his erection, going from simple hard to soft, even getting it to do the worm.
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“Okay, I get it, you can stop now.”
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>He nods again, finally going limp enough for his dick to recede behind his scales.
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>”So, what are you doing in our humble abode?”
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>You aren't sure if this guy is logical or not...
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>But considering he is one of the only ones not getting high and he doesn't have his dick buried balls deep in a dragon chick, he is probably your safest bet for sanity.
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“Your guys kidnapped my friends as we were heading to Canterlot, I'm just trying to save them... well, save one of them. The other is just kind of vegging out.”
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>He stroked his cheek, ball body leaning further back.
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>”So you were with the kid and the pink mare. Huh, you were lucky I heard the commotion or she might be going seven to one right now. The kid five to one.”
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>Gagging, you shake it off and grab your stomach.
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“Uh, thanks for that. I don't think I could explain to Twilight that Spike was gangraped.”
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>He scratches his nose, sniffing after his claw leaves the bridge.
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>”Don't mention it. Anyway, we can't let you take them.”
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“What? Why not?!”
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>He sighs, standing up as his body wobbles.
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>”Blame my group. They hired Leather Bovine without having enough cash. After a very brief period of negotiation, they decided to sell the kid and mare. I'm sorry, but you're going to have to talk with them if you want them back.”
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>Groaning, you face palm hard enough to leave an echo.
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>Big Bill simply waddles over and places a hand on your shoulder.
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>”Sorry, maybe you could talk to them personally.”
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“Maybe...”
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>He hums, scratching his chin.
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>”Hey, why are you heading to Canterlot anyways?”
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>You look, locking eyes with him.
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“Apparently there is some weird sex magic going on and Princess Celestia might be able to help.”
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>Big Bill's eyes go wide for a moment.
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>”I see... maybe that's why my group has been hornier than usual. They have been acting very weird the past few days.”
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>You scratch the back of your head.
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“I don't think they are the same reasons. Far as I know, this all started today.”
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>He sighs, snapping his clawed fingers.
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>”Damn, thought I had it. Normally my guys would never go seven to one on a chick, hell, you were lucky to see them go two to one.”
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>You open your mouth before shutting it.
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>A question is sitting in the back of your mind, but you aren't sure you want the answer.
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>... Fuck it.
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“Why aren't you out there getting high or pounding pussy?”
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>He chuckles, heading back to his water bed.
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>”Someone's got to keep their head on their shoulders and not between their legs, also, I can control my dick VERY well.”
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>As if on cue, he gets his boner to do the worm again.
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>Looking away, you gag.
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“Gah! Okay, point taken, going to go save my friends now.”
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>”You do that, good luck on your thing.”
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>Stepping out of the room, you hear the band resume playing.
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>Again, the cowbell is prominent.
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>Sighing, you wade through the crowd towards the stage, enduring cat calls and whistles.
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>As you near the stage, all but the cowbell stops playing.
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>You look up to the beefy guitarist, who is staring at you.
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>”Do you need something bro?”
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>Nodding, you point to the dragon.
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“Yeah, my friends. These guys traded you them for a performance, right?”
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>The cowbell is still going off as the guitarist starts to scowl.
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>”Yeah, that's right.”
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“I'm here to get them back.”
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>He scowls harder, teeth gritting.
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>”Well, I'm sorry, but we... have... FUCKING DAMMIT LARRY! I will fucking kill you if you keep playing that cowbell!”
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>The one called Larry ignores his band mate, still smacking the bell as he struts around the stage.
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>Annoyed, the guitarist reaches out to you and pulls you on stage.
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>”You know what?! You want your friends back, get that douche bag to stop playing!”
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>You blink a few times before nodding.
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“Okay, can I see that guitar for a sec?”
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>The buff Minotaur hands you his instrument.
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>Testing it a couple times, you walk over to Larry and poke him a couple times.
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>Strutting in place, he looks down to you, continuing his unwanted solo.
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>”Yeah?”
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“Smile.”
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>You take the guitar and swing it towards the Minotaurs hands.
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>He yelps and releases the cowbell.
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>”Ow! What the fuck man?!”
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>His band mates laugh, clapping.
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>”Hit him again!”
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>You do so with pleasure.
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>The Minotaur whines, stepping back.
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>Chuckling, you chase the annoying bastard down, swinging the guitar wildly.
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>”Stop it man! What the fuck is your problem?! I'm just doing what I need to do to make this band as great as possible!”
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>You ignore him, getting him in a corner.
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>As he shakes, you take slow exaggerated steps towards him.
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>He reaches into his pockets.
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>”F-Fine! You want to play this way?!”
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>He throws something dusty and grainy in your face, causing you to cough and inhale.
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>”Pocket weed!”
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>Groaning, you wipe your face off and continue to cough.
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“What the hell maaaaaaaaa-”
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>Chewing on your brownie some more, you chuckle.
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>You thought for sure these dragons would rape you and Spike, but they are a lot more lax than you thought.
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>”Ubu-wah? Ah... Ah! AHHHHHHHHHH! Oh god! Oh Jesus! I'm on fire!”
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>The group you are in turns to the yelling, as do you.
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>Nonny is running around on stage, flailing wildly.
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>”HELP ME! Help me Oprah! Help me Tom! Save me Celestia! Get it off! Oh god, it burns!”
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>He starts to strip out of his sheet, exposing his boxers as he continue to run around.
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>The short annoying Minotaur walks up to the guitarist and punches him, only to be punched right back and off the stage.
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>Shaking his hand off, the Minotaur goes over to let Spike out.
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>Your dragon friend is crying, running to Anon.
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>”Don't let the invisible fire burn my friend!”
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>He grabs Anon's sheet and pushes him to the ground.
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>As he beats Anon with the sheet, one of the dragons next to you starts to cry.
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>”That's beautiful man. See that? That right there is friendship!”
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>Another one shakes his head.
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>”Nah man, he's not even on fire.”
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>Most of the group looks to him in disbelief.
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>”What do you mean?! Don't you see it?! The baby dragon is saving his friend's life!”
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>Many of the dragons around you are starting to listen in, questioning the ones who see the fire.
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>”What do you mean man? H-He's just high, right?”
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>The dragon who claims to see the fire shakes his head, standing and pointing.
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>”Nah! That's real invisible fire! I've seen it all the time!”
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>Panic starts to erupt amongst the teens.
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>”Gah! Someone get the fucking water!”
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>A girl starts to cry, pointing at Spike.
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>”Don't let the invisible fire burn his friend!”
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>As the dragons start to grab buckets of water and evacuate, you can't help but chuckle.
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>Stuff like this doesn't happen in Ponyville.
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>”All those clouds are moving... All those clouds are moving...”
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>As you drag Nonny along, re-sheeted, Spike clings to your back.
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>”It was so scary Pinkie! I thought Anon was a goner!”
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>You chuckle again.
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“Yeah, but you saved him Spike!”
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>He sniffles and nods.
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>Anon tugs on your rope a couple times.
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>”Pinkie?!”
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“Yeah Nonny?”
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>”I-I think I'm having a freak out. I need you to tell me that talking horses are real.”
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>Giggling more, you are nearly to Canterlot.
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“Talking horses are real. I'm one of them!”
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>He takes a deep inhale then screams.
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>”Oh god! You're one of them!”
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>He pulls the rope from your mouth and starts to run away, arms flailing above him.
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>”They're here! They're here! Hide your babies, they eat the young!”
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>As you watch your friend run around the open field, you can't help but wonder what he is seeing right now.
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>Groaning, you pull yourself off the ground, eyes heavy.
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“Whoa... what happened?”
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>Pinkie is standing over you, smiling as Spike pokes your cheek.
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“What happened guys? Did I do something cool?”
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>Spike shakes his head.
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>”You got caught on fire by an invisible fire, started talking about clouds moving by Pegasi, then freaked out about Pinkie talking.”
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>Blinking, you stand and wipe yourself off.
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“I see... So, that's Canterlot then? How about we just go in there and pretend none of this ever happened.”
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>Spike nods, climbing back atop Pinkie as she giggles.
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>”You're fun when you're high Nonny!”
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>You chuckle uncomfortably, hoping this will all end soon.
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>The gates to Canterlot are within running distance.
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>Before you can reach them, a loud yell catches your attention.
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>”HEY! Yeah, you three!”
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>You look around, eventually seeing something on the upper wall.
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>”Don't move! Move, and we will open fire!”
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>Whimpering, you raise your hands and stare.
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“It's cool, we're just here to see the Princess for some help.”
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>The figure on the upper wall climbs down, out of sight.
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>It returns a moment later with five other figures.
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>”Are you horny?!”
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“... No.”
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>He talks with the other five guys before they all look at you three again.
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>”What about the dragon?!”
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“His balls haven't dropped yet, so no.”
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>They talk again, looking to Pinkie.
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>”What about you pink one? Are you horny?!”
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>She shrugs.
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>”Eh, a little.”
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>They all start panicking, grabbing lances and tridents as several dozen ponies line the wall.
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>A few of them take to the air, making alarm noises with their mouths.
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>From what you can see, it is a mixture of Pegasi, bat ponies, and the royal guard.
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>They land around you, pointing their sharp stabby instruments at you.
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>Each of their eyes are wide and bloodshot, heavy bags underneath them.
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>The guy who was yelling at you is amongst the stallions.
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>”Is she one of them?! Because if she is, I swear we will stab you until you have more holes than swiss cheese!”
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>You shake your head, stepping back away from the tridents.
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“No, no no no, she is NOT one of them! She is just high, that's it!”
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>They all hum, looking to each other and mumbling.
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>The stallion who you are assuming is their leader steps to Pinkie.
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>”Is this true? Are you high?”
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>She nods, smiling the entire time.
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>”Mkay... on what?”
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>She looks up.
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>”Hmmm, well, I had some Frankenstein, some blue mountain, a little purple haze, and a looot of Celestia's muff.”
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>You look to the mare, taken aback there is actually something named after the Princess's bush.
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>The stallion takes a deep inhale before turning away from the mare.
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>”Celestia's muff? Damn! That's some good shit.”
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>He nods and every trident facing towards you is lifted.
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>The group of stallions start to walk back to the castle.
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>”All right, we'll take you to see the Princess, but be warned! None of us have had any sleep for five days, we each have just finished shotgunning cup after cup of coffee, and everyone is a liiittle on edge.”
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>You rub your arm, following the stallion.
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“I noticed, everything all right?”
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>He shakes his head.
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>”No, everything is not all right. We have Changelings coming out the ass to get some fuck, we don't know who is infected with whatever this sex thing is, and none of the Princesses know what to do!”
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>You furrow your brow, looking to Pinkie.
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“I thought you said this just started, how long was I asleep?”
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>She steps next to you, Spike bouncing on her back.
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>”Not long, maybe six or seven hours.”
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>The stallion in front of you stops, looking to you three.
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>”Wait a minute, what do you mean just started? Where are you three from?”
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“Ponyville.”
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>He groans and throws his hooves up in the air.
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>”Well great! Now we lost Ponyville too! First the crystal empire, then everything north of Canterlot, now the south?! Ahhhh dammit! Prince Shining Armor is not going to be happy to hear this.”
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>He continues to curse and flail his hooves as the guard now walks on his hind legs.
-
>Spike pokes you, causing you to look at him.
-
>”Hey, Anon?”
-
“Yeah buddy?”
-
>”Uhhh, you don't think Discord is still the cause of all this, do you?”
-
>You shake your head.
-
“Nope, probably just got hit with whatever is freaking these guys out. Still doesn't explain why he jacked my stuff though.”
-
>Groaning, you wonder what possible reason he would have to take your iPod if not to look at your porn.
-
>As you enter the throne room, you see Princess Celestia, Luna, and Cadence all congregated around a table as Shining Armor shakily reads papers and mutters to himself.
-
>Celestia is the first to notice you and your group enter.
-
>”Well, if it isn't my favorite student's wonderful friends! What brings you to Canterlot?”
-
>You are about to speak when the stallion you've been talking to this entire time gets on his hind legs and salutes Shining.
-
>”SIR! We have bad news regarding Ponyville, SIR!”
-
>The blue maned Unicorn rushes to his side, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him.
-
>”Don't just stand there Brick! What is wrong with Ponyville?!”
-
>Shining looks as bad as the guards, bloodshot eyes and all.
-
>”It's fallen victim to the infection that we are now calling; Viagro grande!”
-
>Shining falls to his knees and yells.
-
>”Damn you Queen Chrysalis! It's not bad enough you take my subjects, now you infect my sister as well?! Damn you to heck!”
-
>He continues to yell, all eyes on him.
-
>You point to him and look to the Princesses.
-
“Is he going to be okay?”
-
>Cadence sighs and shakes her head.
-
>”No, he's taking this... attack very personally. He says that Chrysalis is cursing the lands because she is mad that Shining won't give her some.”
-
>Luna nods, turning to you.
-
>”He said, and we quote, 'It is because my dick is too bomb'. Now, pray tell Anonymous, why are you dressed in a bed sheet?”
-
>Near everyone save for your group and Shining mutter out comments wondering the same thing.
-
>Brick even pokes it.
-
>”I just thought it was some sort of fashion statement.”
-
>You shoo the Pegasi away and wipe it off.
-
“I got blown out of my house before getting changed, it was either wear a bedsheet or run around in my boxers.”
-
>The room is filled with a chorus of understanding *ohhh*s.
-
>Before anyone can say anything else, a guard runs up to Shining and hands him a paper.
-
>He quickly reads it and gasps, jumping up on the table, annoying his wife and step-aunts.
-
>”Ladies and Gentleman, may I please have your attention! I have just been handed an urgent, and horrifying piece of news. I need all of you to shut up, and listen!”
-
>All eyes are on Shining as he pants, hyperventilating as he struggles to get his words out.
-
>”WE'RE OUT OF COFFEE!”
-
>All of the guards start to freak out, some even going so far as to jump out of windows.
-
>Brick pulls out a hand grenade and yells as he is surrounded by chaos.
-
>Shining looks to the Pegasus as he cries.
-
>”Where did you get a grenade brick?”
-
>”I DON'T KNOW!”
-
>The Princesses are freaking out at the sight, backing away as their subjects wail and cry.
-
>Cadence seems to be taking it especially hard, pulling at her mane as her eyes well up with tears.
-
>Ponies are curling up in corners, crying as they slam their heads against the wall.
-
>Looking around, you see Spike just taking this all in.
-
>You wonder if this is good for a kid like him to be seeing.
-
>After a few more moments of utter anarchy, Cadence yells out.
-
>”I can't take this anymore! It was me! This is all my fault!”
-
>Her outburst causes every pony (And dragon/human.) to stare at her, promptly ending the riot.
-
>”That's right... it's all my fault.”
-
>Shining stands, stepping towards his wife.
-
>”Honey, why?”
-
>She sniffles.
-
>”I-I was just trying to help the Changelings. They need love to survive, right? I figured if they could learn to love each other, they wouldn't need to hunt ponies.”
-
>You smack your lips once before bringing your hands together.
-
“And you got them to love each other... by making them sex monsters?”
-
>She whimpers.
-
>”The book said that the spell would give its victims a burning fire that shall never die out.”
-
“And you assumed that meant love, because whenever I hear fire, I think hot in the pants.”
-
>Many of the stallions agree with you, angered at the sudden realization their Princess is the cause of all this.
-
>”I-I'm so sorry... I would end this if I could, I swear!”
-
>Sighing, you look to Pinkie.
-
“Any ideas?”
-
>She shrugs.
-
>”Undo the spell?”
-
>Cadence shakes her head.
-
>”I can't! If I do, they'll just go back to hunting ponies again.”
-
>Spike raises his hand, waiting to give a response.
-
>”Well, if you can't undo the spell, can't you scale it back? Twilight does that all the time at home.”
-
>Cadence shakes her head again.
-
>”It's not that easy.”
-
>Celestia looks to her niece, placing a hoof on her back.
-
>”Actually, it is. Just focus on the spell and literally pull it back.”
-
>Cadence expression changes to one of surprise.
-
>”That's it?”
-
>”That's it.”
-
>The Princess of love blushes from embarrassment.
-
>”O-oh... well, all right then.”
-
>She starts to focus on her spell, about to fix everything.
-
“Huh, that was easy.”
-
>A yell from one of the stallions causes you to flinch and turn.
-
>Brick is staring at the Princess, pointing at her accusingly.
-
>”You! You sit on a throne of LIES!”
-
>Shining steps in front of his wife, glaring at the Pegasi.
-
>”Hey, remember your place!”
-
>Brick turns to his fellow guards.
-
>”Tell me, who here has suffered since day one? Fighting off wave after wave of incredibly horny mares!”
-
>Many murmurs come from the stallions behind you.
-
>”Who here has seen horrors no being, pony or otherwise, should suffer from!”
-
>The murmurs grow, echoing through the room a bit.
-
>”Who here has become so addicted to coffee, that their piss is brown!”
-
>Every stallion behind you yells, acknowledging Brick's point.
-
>”All because of a little spell?! I don't believe it! Do you?!”
-
>The guards; Pegasi, Unicorn, and Bat, all answer in unison.
-
>”NO!”
-
>Brick marches towards the Princesses.
-
>”I call bullshit on you! Bullshit I say! You are telling us this is all over, just like that?!”
-
>Shining trips over his words, his sleep deprivation effecting him.
-
>”I thought so.”
-
>As Brick is about to give an order, Twilight's brother gasps.
-
>”You're right.”
-
>His answer shocks everyone, no one more than Cadence.
-
>”What?!”
-
>Shining looks to his wife, shaking his head.
-
>”No no, Brick is right, but in the wrong way! It isn't your fault... it's the humans!”
-
>Every pair of eyes is now on you.
-
“Uhhh, what?”
-
>Shining steps to the guards.
-
>”Think about it! When did all the chaos happen? After he got here! When did the coffee run out? After he got here! When did Brick, one of the most loyal men to me, start to accuse me wife?”
-
>Many of the guards gasp, for some reason buying this logic.
-
>Shining nods and points to you.
-
>”That's right! After he got here!”
-
>Brick steps in front of you, shaking his head.
-
>”Now wait a minute, you don't actually buy that, right? He is wearing nothing but a bed sheet for horse god's sake! How could he be responsible for any of this?”
-
>The crowd seems to be split in half, some agreeing with Brick while others agree with Shining.
-
>A fact Shining is not happy with.
-
>”Wait a minute, are you calling me a liar?!”
-
>Brick steps towards the Prince.
-
>”I ain't calling you a truther!”
-
>The stallions glare at each other before nodding.
-
>Shining is the first to speak.
-
>”Looks like there is only one way to settle this then.”
-
>”I agree.”
-
>They each step towards opposite sides of the room, a portion of the crowd following whoever they agree with.
-
>Brick pulls you towards his side.
-
>Tridents, lances, chairs, and other weapons are handed around.
-
>Unsure of what is going on, you look to the Princesses.
-
>Cadence seems to be in the same boat as you.
-
>Luna and Celestia are leaning back in their thrones as Pinkie and Spike sit in lawn chairs.
-
>Wait a minute...
-
>Why are they over there.
-
“Pinkie, what are you doing?”
-
>She pulls out some popcorn before answering.
-
>”Well, Spike is too young for this and I'm a lady. So we'll just sit back as this all gets settled.”
-
“As what gets settled?!”
-
>Brick steps toward the middle of the room, holding a lance as he does.
-
>”All right, here are the ground rules... Rule one, no hitting of the face and balls.”
-
>Oh god, they're going to have a street fight!
-
>You turn to Celestia.
-
“You're just going to let this happen?!”
-
>She nods, taking the popcorn from Pinkie.
-
>”They all need this to give them some closure.”
-
>You are about to argue when Brick yells.
-
>”And that's it!”
-
>He rushes back to his side of the room.
-
>Shining raises his chair into the air.
-
>”Begin!”
-
>You step back as dozens of ponies run or fly towards each other with weapons drawn.
-
>Spots of blood fly everywhere.
-
>Looking around, you see a Unicorn toss a glass lantern at a Pegasi.
-
>He screams as he flies out of a window, on fire.
-
>You are so shocked by the sight you almost fail to notice the bat pony flying at you with a mace.
-
>Too scared to move, you are only saved by Brick throwing his trident at the pony, piercing his abdomen.
-
>The bat shrieks as he crashes a few feet away from you.
-
>You hug the wall with your back as you try to sneak out of the brawl.
-
>As you near the door, Shining jumps on your back.
-
>”I knew it was you all along! Who walks around in just their bed sheet?!”
-
>The stallion tries and fails to strangle you.
-
>No fingers.
-
>Grabbing him by the back of his mane, you toss him towards the table.
-
>He yelps, grabbing your bed sheet as he does.
-
>Flying through the air, he crashes into the table and breaks it.
-
>Cadence screams and rushes to her husband.
-
>”Shiny! Are you okay?!”
-
>You almost feel bad for that, until you see him grab his wife and lift her above his head.
-
>”Graaah! Welcome to Equestria mother bucker!”
-
>He tosses Cadence at you.
-
>She is still charging her spell, eyes locked with yours as neither of you move.
-
>Perhaps you are afraid, perhaps it's because you aren't able to comprehend what the hell is even going on anymore, or perhaps it is the fact he just THREW HIS WIFE, but you can't move your legs.
-
>She lands on top of you, horn smacking against your head.
-
>Apparently her spell must have a proximity effect, since you are now hard as diamonds.
-
>*Shliiick*
-
>Aaand now you are inside Cadence.
-
>She shiver and lets out a deep moan, accidentally letting the spell off early.
-
>Your eyes shoot wide as it hits you, causing your hips to buck up as you unload what feels like a gallon of cum inside the mare.
-
>Once all is said and done, your body twitches as you are forced to look Cadence in the eye.
-
>She must feel the same awkward you are feeling, as neither of your look away from each other.
-
>”Uhhh... should I... buy you breakfast or something?”
-
>You two are trapped in your own little world of awkward, failing to notice the brawl dying down.
-
>Sitting outside of the infirmary, finally fully dressed, Brick is sat next to you.
-
>”Boy... that escalated quickly, I mean, that really got out of hoof fast!”
-
>The bat pony from earlier nods.
-
>”Well, we were all on edge and freaking out.”
-
>Brick chuckles.
-
>”I know, I stabbed you in the chest man!”
-
>Every guard there chuckles, the bat smiling as he rubs his stomach.
-
>”I saw that, you nearly killed me!”
-
>Brick breaks out laughing.
-
>”Yeah, there was that guy on fire, and you got stabbed, and Anon here shot off in the Princess. It was nucking futs!”
-
>You look to him, causing his laughter to subside.
-
“How are you okay with this? That was complete and utter anarchy.”
-
>He chuckles, hanging his head.
-
>”Blame the coffee.”
-
>Laying back, you groan.
-
>Pinkie and Spike enter just as you get comfortable.
-
>”Hey Nonny! We got your iPod back.”
-
>Well, at least that's some good news.
-
>Taking your shit back, it's sticky and smells.
-
>Sighing, you unlock it and are met with a picture of Fluttershy fucking a bear.
-
>... Delete.
-
>A picture of Twilight magically fisting Lyra is next.
-
>Delete.
-
>Applejack shoving a fence post in her ass, Rarity domming a couple of colts, Granny Smith taking a-
-
“Here Spike, burn this for me.”
-
>The little dragon looks at you with confusion.
-
>You just shake your head.
-
>He sets your iPod on fire, leaving you to lament and wait for Cadence to exit the private room.
-
>After a few minutes of random conversation and jokes, Shining and Cadence both step out.
-
“Well?”
-
>Cadence steps in front of you, bringing her hooves together.
-
>”Um... I'm pregnant.”
-
>You shut your eyes, sighing.
-
>Shining coughs.
-
>”So... I'm pretty sure this makes us even for me trying to pin the blame on you for the magic mishap.”
-
>You look to Shining, glaring at him.
-
>Cadence glares alongside you.
-
“I fucking hate you.”
-
>Leaning back again, Brick gives his seat to Cadence.
-
>”So, how are we going to handle this?”
-
“We have this thing on Earth, the parent who raises the kid gets paid to support it and the other one gets to visit it for a few days every couple of weeks. Sound good?”
-
>She sighs, rubbing her belly.
-
>”That'll work...”
-
>You feel the need to cut the tension some how.
-
“So... was it as good for you as it was for me?”
-
>Cadence giggles, nodding.
-
>”It was all right. Could have done with more foreplay.”
-
>The butthurt Prince groans.
-
>”Oh, yeah, joke about getting pregnant.”
-
>You look to him, smirking.
-
“I'm pretty sure you threw her at me.”
-
>Brick chimes in.
-
>”Literally!”
-
>The room is filled with laughter as Shining stomps out.
-
“Hahaaaa, ah, Fucking Shining Armor.”
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