MilfHunter Anon


                                            >Be Cheerilee

                                            "Alright everypony, recess is over! Back to class now!" You announced to the play yard of colts and fillies

                                            >As they filed into the classroom, you did a mental headcount to find that you were two short

                                            >With a quick scan of the grassy yard, you spot them in the far corner, still playing

                                            >Who else but Snips and Snails?

                                            >They must've been so wrapped up in their fantasy that they hadn't heard you

                                            >With a sigh, you start trotting over to the pair

                                            >They're not bad colts, they just...

                                            >March to the beat of their own drums

                                            >Yeah, that sounds pretty teacher-y

                                            >Huh, what is Snails doi-

                                            >DEAR SUN AND MOON HE'S MOUNTING SNIPS!!

                                            >You instantly burst into a full gallop towards the two and separate them as far as your hooves will go

                                            >"Aw, come on, Miss Cheerilee, I coulda taken him!" Snips whined

                                            >"Nuh uh, you woulda been down for the count!" Snails countered

                                            >You inhale and count to ten

                                            >Exhale and count to five

                                            "Boys. It's time for class. Please, head inside." you said in a measured tone, staring down at the grass between the colts

                                            >Both of them groaned but obeyed, with you following close behind

                                            >The rest of the school day passed by fairly quickly, after which you asked Snips and Snails to stay behind

                                            "Alright boys, first of all, I want you two to know that you're not in trouble."

                                            >This was a delicate situation, and you had to be sure you had all the facts when their parents came to pick them up

                                            >"We're not?" Snails asked, astounded by this revelation

                                            >"Does that mean you aren't gonna make us stay all night to do math problems until our hooves fall off?" Snips asked desperately

                                            >Even after all these years, children's imaginations don't cease to amaze you

                                            "No, Snips, I'm not going to do that."

                                            >The boys simultaneously let out relieved sighs

                                            "I was just interested in the game you two were playing. It seemed like lots of fun, why don't you two tell me exactly what you were playing?"

                                            >You give your trademark warmly patient smile

                                            >Snips and Snails give you a suspicious look

                                            >Their gaze turns to one another

                                            >After a beat, Snails closed his eyes and gave a curt nod, Snips responding in kind before the two colts returned their attention to you

                                            >"Miss Cheerilee," Snips started glibly. "We were simply doing research."

                                            "Research?" you repeat, hoping that he doesn't mean what you think he means

                                            >"We were researching how to defend ourselves!" Snails answered

                                            "Defend yourselves...?"

                                            >"That's right! We have to be able to defend ourselves! From the, uh..."

                                            >Snails turns to Snips and loudly whispers, "What was it again?"

                                            >Snips whispered into Snails' ear

                                            >"Oh yeah! The Undercover Neighborly Fighters!" He exclaimed

                                            >Huh?

                                            >"They call themselves U.N.F. for short!" Snips clarified, adding to your dumbfoundedness

                                            >There's no way that's a coincidence

                                            >As you tried to think of some sort of response, Snips seized the opportunity to explain further

                                            >"You see, Miss Cheerilee, there are ponies among us. Ponies who belong to a secret group of master wrestlers!"

                                            >"Yeah, and when they find each other, they fight!" Snails added

                                            "Okay, hold on boys." You hold up a hoof to keep them from saying any more

                                            >You had to hurry this along, their parents could be here any minute

                                            "What about during recess? What were you two doing when I separated you?"

                                            >"That's where the research comes in! We were trying to figure out a way to beat a U.N.F. special move!"

                                            >"Yeah! The Green Grapple!" Snails moved his hooves in an arc for emphasis

                                            >Snips' enthusiasm was replaced by annoyance as he turned to his lanky compatriot

                                            >"I thought we agreed that it was called the Space Monkey Shuffle!" Snips grumbled

                                            >Snails stared off into space, seemingly not noticing his friend's ire

                                            >"Mmmuh, nope! It was the Green Grapple!" Snails nodded, quite sure of himself

                                            >"It's the Space Monkey Shuffle!"

                                            >You decided to continue your questioning before a full blown fight broke out

                                            "Boys, would you be able to tell me exactly where you learned that move? Or better yet, who taught you?"

                                            >They both returned their attention to you, sharing more looks of suspicion between themselves

                                            >You really hoped it wasn't somepony you knew

                                            >Well, you hoped it wasn't anypony you liked

                                            >This town was a bit too small to not be at least acquaintances with every resident

                                            >Snips nodded once again before speaking

                                            >"Miss Cheerilee, we shall reveal the identities of two U.N.F. members, for your own protection. They are none other than..."

                                            >Snips paused for dramatic effect for a few seconds too long

                                            >"Mr. Anon,"

                                            >"And my mom!"

                                            >...

                                            >...Oh...

                                            >...OH...

                                            >It all just clicked

                                            >Good News: You guess they haven't been molested (probably)

                                            >Bad News: You now know that your innocent student caught a glimpse of two ponies-well, a pony and a hueman-going at it

                                            >Two ponies that you interact with on a regular basis

                                            >Oh Sun, you can't get the mental image of those two bucking out of your head

                                            >You feel a tinge of heat bloom on your cheeks

                                            >Just as you were about to tell the boys not to share this information with anypony else, your classroom door swung open to reveal Snips' mother, Mrs. Snaps, panting like she had just run across town

                                            >She was a portly, turquoise unicorn with a blonde mane

                                            >"So sorry for being late, Miss Cheerilee!" She exclaimed

                                            >Looking over to the clock you saw that she was in fact late, by nearly 20 minutes

                                            >"I s'pose I just lost track of time, hehe..." Mrs.Snaps gave you a nervous grin as she trotted over to the boys

                                            >Now that she was closer, you could see just how disheveled she was

                                            >Her mane, normally done up into a neat and tight bun, was haphazardly tied up, loose hairs all around

                                            >When she leaned down to nuzzle her son, you noticed the remnants of frothy sweat along her side

                                            >And then you were whipped in the nostrils by a thick, musky scent

                                            >It may have been a while since you'd smelt it, but you could still recognize it instantly

                                            >The smell of a passionate romp between lovers was sticking to Mrs.Snaps like chewed gum to fur

                                            >The blush on your cheeks quickly spread to the rest of your face, now burning much hotter

                                            >"I hope they didn't cause you too much trouble, Cheerilee dear." Mrs. Snaps said, giving you an apologetic, yet still nervous look

                                            >You must've been absolutely radiant because she somehow noticed your blush against your cerise coat

                                            >You could see a lightbulb go off in her head followed by Mrs.Snaps growing a blush of her own

                                            >She knows you know!

                                            >"W-well, I sure oughta be takin' these kiddos home, hehe. Come along boys!" Mrs.Snaps rushed the two colts out the door as they waved and gave a quick "Goodnight Miss Cheerilee!"

                                            >You absentmindedly waved a hoof as the matron left the schoolhouse with her two charges

                                            >You were now alone in your little classroom

                                            >And you now knew that Mrs.Snaps, one of the most wholesome and pure ponies you knew, was sleeping with Anonymous - the only human you knew

                                            >You weren't exactly sure what to do with that information, so you simply sat in silence in your classroom for an hour or so before heading home

                                            >You hoped that a few glasses of wine would help wipe the image-and scent-of those two from your mind


                                            -=-=-=-=-


                                            >Be Cheerilee

                                            >Also be very annoyed

                                            >"Good night Miss Cheerilee!"

                                            "Good night Featherweight!" You say to the lanky colt as he fluttered back home

                                            >Tonight was supposed to be a meeting for the Foal Free Press, but you had to cancel due to multiple leaks making themselves known thanks to some sudden rain

                                            >Damn weather pegasi just don't stick to their schedule like they used to

                                            >Now you've got a leaky roof, a few soaked typewriters, and warped floorboards on your hooves

                                            >That's three ponies you'll have to hire for repairs

                                            >This is going to be far too expensive to get fixed, especially on a teacher's budget

                                            >Who're the cheapest repair ponies in Ponyville?

                                            >Elbow Grease is on her honeymoon

                                            >Spit Shine always hits on you, despite how many times you tell her you like stallions

                                            >And Jury Rigged is a little TOO cheap for your taste

                                            >You have foals to worry about after all

                                            >Guess that just leaves...

                                            >...Anonymous.

                                            >You groan and hold your face in your hooves

                                            >You had been avoiding the human ever since you found out he had been..."entertaining" Mrs.Ginger Snaps

                                            >You had also been trying to forget that fact, but the rotund matron has come to pick up her son while reeking of sex on more than one occasion since that initial incident

                                            >You'd have probably gotten a complaint from some of the other parents if she didn't also come much later than any of them

                                            >What kind of world do we live in that an overweight widow gets porked on the regular but a nice mare like yourself can't get so much as a date?

                                            >Sundamn, you sound like a virgin

                                            >Dammit brain, focus

                                            >You need to get all this fixed ASAP

                                            >And it seems like the best candidate is that Anon fellow

                                            >You put on your raincoat and brave your way into the storm

                                            >Well, maybe not quite a storm, but definitely more rain than you'd like

                                            >Having quickly made your way across town, you come upon Anonymous' home

                                            >You give three quick clops on the door and start to mentally prepare yourself

                                            >Just don't think about him and Mrs. Snaps

                                            >Don't think about them rutting

                                            >I said don't

                                            >Stop it!

                                            >The images of Anon and Mrs. Snaps in the throes of passion are suddenly thrown aside when the front door swings open

                                            >That's weird, nopony's there

                                            >"Down here, Miss Cheerilee"

                                            >Bringing your eyes down to, well, eye level, you see that the door was opened, not by the local human, but by...

                                            "MRS. RICH?!"

                                            >The pale pink mare cringes from your outburst

                                            >"Yes, Miss Cheerilee. That's my name." She hisses, clearly displeased with your behavior

                                            "R-right. My apologies." You said with a nervous chuckle

                                            >Turning your head away to hide your embarrassment, an awkward silence grows between the two of you

                                            >A few moments pass, the pouring rain the only sound

                                            >"Well, if there's nothing you needed. You have a day, Miss Cheerilee." Spoiled Rich moves to close the door

                                            "NO!"

                                            >Spoiled stops closing the door but scrunches at your volume

                                            >Your ears fold back apologetically once more, but you press on