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Day Funhouse
By ArchiveAccountCreated: 2023-09-19 02:16:17
Updated: 2023-09-19 02:19:35
Expiry: Never
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Written by That_Happy_Guy
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>Day Funhouse in Equestria.
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>The sound of carnival music plays as you awaken.
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>Letting off a groan a you open your eyes, your vision is filled with a red rug.
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>Pushing yourself away from it, you were sleeping on the floor of some unfamiliar house.
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>You look around and see you are in some sort of study, paintings and shelves filled with books line the walls.
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>Looks like you aren't alone either.
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>Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash are in the room with you, all asleep.
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“Girls? Hello?”
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>You walk towards Twilight, shaking her body gently once you are beside her.
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>”Just four more minutes daddy...”
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“Twilight, I'm not your daddy. If I were, you'd have a lot less hair.”
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>She grunts, eyes opening with an intentional slowness.
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>”... Anon? What are you doing in my room?”
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>Take another look around.
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>Yeah, just as you thought, this isn't Twilight's room.
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“I'm here to abuse you in your sleep.”
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>Her eyes go wide, ears propped up, and she has the most inappropriate joy filled smile on her face.
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>”Really?”
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“Fuckin- No! What the hell, you WANT me to abuse you?!”
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>Her ears droop down and her expression goes blank.
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>”I dunno.”
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>Groan, bringing your palm to your face.
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“Okay, not going to put up with this shit alone. EVERYBODY UP!”
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>The remaining mares each yelp as you scream, forcing them up.
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>They all look over to you in equal parts annoyance and exhaustion.
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>”Consarn' it Anon. What're ya yellin' about?”
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>You open your arms to display the entire room.
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>The ponies look around, each realizing why you wanted them up.
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>Dash flutters up, stretching her entire body.
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>”Did we have a party or something?”
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>A loud giggle rings throughout the room.
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>”No, but once you all get out of there we can!”
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>Wait a minute... is that Pinkie Pie?
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“Pinkie, where are we?”
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>”Well, hello to you too Nonny McRuderpants.”
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“Sorry. Hi Pinkie.”
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>”Hi Nonny.”
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“Okay, now that that's out of the way. Where. Are. We?”
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>”Oh, you're in my fun house!”
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>Twilight props herself up on all fours next to you.
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>”You have a fun house?”
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>”Mhmm! I built it last night as a test.”
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>Dash lets out an uncomfortable chuckle, sweating a bit.
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>”What kind of test exactly?”
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>”A test to see who can date Anon, doesn't that sound fun!?”
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>This either better be a joke, or you better still be asleep.
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“Pinkie. You are kidding, right?”
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>”Nope nope!”
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>Taking a deep breath, you nod before calmly replying.
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“There's just one problem Pinkie. I'm not a horse fucker!”
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>”Silly Nonny! You don't have to fuck a pony, just date. DAAAATE. You've been all by your lonesome ever since you arrived here. That's just sad!”
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“Says the mare who is single.”
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>She doesn't reply.
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>You can hear Dash whispering.
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>”Hope she has some ointment.”
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>Smirking, you wait for Pinkie's response.
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>”Nonny? Could you do me a favor and open that door to your left.”
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>Looking to your left, you see a door marked -EXIT-.
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“Okay.”
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>You walk towards it, opening it once you do.
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>A loud roar comes out of it as a tentacle grabs you and drags you in.
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“GAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
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>You are dropped on a mattress in front of some sort of giant octopus covered in feathers.
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>Where a mouth would be lies a beak.
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>It tries to grab you again, but you jump underneath it's sweeping tentacle.
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>You make a mad dash for the door and slam it behind you.
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>Panting, you hold the door closed as Rarity walks up to you.
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>”Anon, darling, where did you go?”
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“I DON'T KNOW!”
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>”Congratulations Anon! You got one point! Yaaay!”
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“POINT? WHAT?”
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>Rarity covers her ears.
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>”Volume, Anon.”
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>Calming yourself down, you take a deep breath and sigh.
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“Sorry. Now then, point?”
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>Pinkie giggles from wherever she is.
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>”A point! You need to get ten points before you can leave. Not just you either, everyone has to get at least one point. Which ever pony gets the most points before you all leave gets the chance to be Anon's special somepony!”
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>As she finishes her sentence, a door on the opposite side of the room flings open.
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>”Please go to the main room so we can keep the fun going!”
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>The five mares cautiously exit the room.
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>You stare back at the door you were dragged through before following.
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>Walking into the next room, a giant screen catches your attention.
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>It has a large -1- on top of it with each of your names underneath.
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>Everyone save for you has a zero next to their name.
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>Looking around, the room is pure white, with dozens of doors connecting to it and one giant pair of double doors across from the screen.
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>”Okie dokie! Each room is worth one point. Clear a room and earn your love from our favorite human! Good luck everypony!”
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>The sound of dozens of doors unlocking at once fills the room.
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>Each of you looks at each other in confusion.
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>Applejack coughs and steps towards the nearest door.
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>”Sooo, ah reckon ah could handle tha extra four rooms mahself, y'all just get yer one point 'n-”
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>Just as she is about to open the door, her hoof is covered by a purple aura.
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>Twilight steps next to Applejack, glaring at the cowmare.
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>”Now wait just a minute. Why should you be the one to handle all the rooms? It's almost like you want to win Anon for yourself.”
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>The orange mare gulps, chuckling and looking away from her friend.
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>”Th-That's just plain silly Twi, a-ah just wanna get outta here as soon as possible is all.”
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>Rarity steps next to the two, placing a hoof on each of their backs.
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>”Girls, come now. We all know it would be much quicker just to have us all handle two rooms. Pinkie can't force Anon to have a special somepony if we all are tied, correct?”
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“Yeah, Rarity's right. This'll be quicker if we all handle two rooms. Sound good?”
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>You receive positive feedback from the pristine unicorn herself, Dash, and Fluttershy.
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>Twilight and Applejack still seem to be at ends though.
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>”Fine. We'll all just take two rooms and finish. Right Applejack?”
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>”Sounds mighty fine ta me, Twilight Sparkle.”
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>Something tells you that you'll have to keep an eye out for those two while this silly game of Pinkie's goes on.
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“So, we'll meet back here after we each handle two rooms?”
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>Each mare agrees and heads off into a different direction.
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>Alone, you open the room Applejack was going to open.
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>A giant scorpion turns to you, tail flailing around.
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“Nope.”
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>You close the door and head towards the next.
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>There is a balloon pop stand with a surly looking minotaur behind the counter.
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>”Step right up. Three pops and win your point.”
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>Beats a giant scorpion.
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>You step into the room.
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“How much a game?”
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>The minotaur pulls out a jar filled with tiny puff ball looking creatures.
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>”You need to kill one of these every time you fail.”
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“WHAT?! That's sick and morbid!”
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>He shrugs and pulls one out.
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>”I love you!”
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>”Your parents are dead.”
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>It cries and explodes into a streamer filled mess.
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>You whimper at the loss of such an adorable thing.
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>”See? All you have to do is make them sad and they poof away. Nothing morbid about it. Now, you want to play or not?”
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>You are pretty sure you can get three pops on your first try.
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>Grabbing the darts, you line up your first shot.
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>Hit!
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>Feeling confident, you line up your second shot.
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>Miss...
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>”Welp, time to buy back in.”
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>He pulls out a pink smiling puffball.
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>”Will you be my fwiend?”
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>You choke a bit as you know what you have to do.
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“N-No.”
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>It frowns, looking down at the counter.
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>The minotaur looks at you, shaking his head.
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“... Y-You're stupid!”
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>It looks up, about to cry.
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>”W-What?”
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“You heard me! Stupid!”
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>It lets out a sharp cry before exploding into streamers.
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>That poor puffball!
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>The minotaur hands you another dart.
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>Aim!
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>Miss!
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>Oh god...
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>A single tear falls down your cheek as you leave the room.
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>Thirty seven.
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>You killed thirty seven little cuties.
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>But you did it, you got your second point.
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>Looking at the scoreboard; Dash has her two, Twilight one, Rarity three, Appleja-
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>Rarity has three?!
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>”Ya dangblasted little hussy! Tryin' ta trick us inta playin' yer plan!”
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>”I-It was a mistake! Honest! I-I was just trying to find the bathroom when-”
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>”Stow it you primma donna!”
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>That doesn't sound good.
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>You follow the yells to find Rarity being forced into a corner by Rainbow Dash and Applejack.
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>The two mares look ready to tear the unicorn apart.
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“What the hell is going on here?”
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>They all turn to you.
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>Rarity rushing to your side.
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>”A-Anon! Thank goodness you arrived when you did! You'll listen to me.”
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>”Don't listen ta her Anon! She was tryin' ta trick us inta makin' her yer special somepony all along!”
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>You place a hand on Rarity head, trying to diffuse the situation.
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“Everybody calm down. Rarity, what happened.”
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>”W-Well, I had just gotten my second point when I needed to attend to some womanly business. I-I found the bathroom and when I exited it, I had gained a third point. I swear!”
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>Dash rushes, getting in her face.
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>”Liar! How come we can't find this -bathroom- room now, HMMMMM?”
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>Before you can tell Dash to settle down, a loud *CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK* fills the building.
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>Turning back to your room, it seems to have shifted into a new one.
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>You hold Rarity close as you go to check and see if it is still the balloon pop room.
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>Opening the door, several zebras are engaged in combat.
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>”Who's the pale face?”
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>”I dunno, let's fuck her!”
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>”YEAH!”
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>Rarity screams as you slam the door.
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“Jesus! What happened to my balloon pop room?”
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>”You see! Anon's room is gone too! I told you I was telling the truth!”
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>The scoreboard dings, showing Twilight's earned her second point.
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>A -10- starts flashing as an even louder unlocking sound is heard and the double doors go flying open.
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>Looking around, the purple mare is walking back to the scoreboard now.
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>She looks up at it, glares, then casts her gaze on Rarity.
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>”You little using- Get over here!”
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>Rarity yelps, hiding behind your leg as Twilight rushes you.
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“Twilight stop!”
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>The purple unicorn doesn't listen, continuing her charge.
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>Dash and Applejack make a grab for her, keeping her from tearing into the scared mare.
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“Twilight, it's fine!”
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>”Fine?! Are you saying you WANT to date Rarity?”
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“No! I am saying it was an accident. Besides, all we have to do is get three points instead of two. One more room, that's all. Right?”
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>Twilight growls at Rarity, eyes locked with hers.
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>”Apologize first.”
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>”What?”
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>”Apologize for trying to trick us!”
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>Rarity sighs, stepping out form behind you.
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>”I am sorry I had to use the little filly's room! Forgive me for having a body that has the flaw of needing to use the bathroom!”
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>She is either lying very well or honestly earned an accidental point by tinkling.
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>Probably the latter given how butt hurt her apology was.
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>Applejack and Dash let go of Twilight.
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>The four mares march to the center of the room, equidistant from the large doors and the scoreboard.
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>”So, how're we gonna do this y'all? Ah don't trust leavin' Rarity alone.”
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>”Applejack, darling, do you honestly think I would betray you all in such a way? You are my friends, I would never try to harm you like that.”
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>Well, you believe her.
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>The others though... not so much.
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>Twilight wraps a hoof around Rarity, holding her in place.
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>”Here's what we'll do. Anon, Applejack; you two go get your last point. Rainbow and I will wait here with Rarity until Fluttershy gets back. Then we switch when either of you two finish. Okay?”
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>Letting off an annoyed sigh, you make for the nearest room that isn't filled with rapist zebras.
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>Open the door and see a black stallion dressed in a red robe sitting on a lounge chair, next to a fireplace.
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>”Ah, come in good sir. My test is simple.”
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>This seems too easy...
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>But then again, easy is good.
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>You step in and the door closes behind you.
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>The stallion opens a book and brings a pipe to his mouth.
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>”Tell me. You are traveling with a white unicorn mare, correct?”
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“... Yes... I am.”
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>”Mmm, please, describe her bottom for me.”
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>This is getting weird fast.
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“Uh, marshmallowy. Kind of plump... bouncy?”
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>The stallion nods, humming.
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>”I see. Her horn as well?”
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“It's... longish? Kind of hard, but not too hard. Uh, just a little pointy. Why do-”
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>”Beautiful. Thank you, that is all I require. You may leave whenever you please.”
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>The door opens.
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>You leave as quickly as you can, wondering why you feel so dirty.
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>The moment you are out, the sound of rough masturbation comes from the room before it closes.
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>And THAT is why you felt dirty.
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>You just helped a sophisticated black stallion get off to the mere description of Rarity's ass and horn.
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>Sick bastard.
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>Making your way back, you see Rarity now being held down by Applejack and Dash.
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>The scoreboard shows that only Twilight needs her last point.
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>If that's the case, where's Fluttershy?
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>”P-Pssst. Anon.”
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>Turning around, you see Fluttershy trying to hide.
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“Fluttershy? Why are you-”
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>”No no, come here.”
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>She motions you to come closer.
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>Shrugging, you step next to the pegasus.
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“What?”
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>”I-I have a plan Anon.”
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>This'll be good.
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“Why do you need a plan?”
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>The mare blushes, a small smile finding it's way to her lips.
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>”S-So we can date.”
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>You just stare silently at the yellow pegasus, hoping she gets the hint you aren't going to help her.
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>”... O-okay. So my plan is that wh-when the others lea-”
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“Fluttershy, don't.”
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>She turns her head, confused.
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>”H-Huh?”
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“We have a plan. Everyone leaves here with the same score, I don't date anybody. That's the plan we are going with.”
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>”B-But we can be so-”
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>A loud ding rings from the scoreboard, showing Twilight got her final point.
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>The door behind Fluttershy opens, causing the yellow mare to squeak and jump into your arms.
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>You drop her as Twilight steps out of the room, covered in ketchup.
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“Uh, what did-”
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>”I don't want to talk about it.”
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>She huffs and walks back to the main group.
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>You drag Fluttershy with, making sure she doesn't try anything.
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“Okay, we're done here.”
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>Dash and AJ let go of Rarity, walking ahead of her to the door.
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>The white unicorn sighs, looking down in sorrow as she follows her friends.
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>Just as you are about to exit the house with Fluttershy in tow, she grabs a door and manages to stutter out.
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>”I-I forgot my bag back in the first room!”
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>Groaning, you try to pull her off the door.
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>Applejack and Twilight try to get you off Fluttershy.
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>”Hold on a sec pardner. If Fluttershy lost her bag, we gotta go 'n grab it.”
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“What bag?! We all woke up in the same room wearing exactly what we have on now! There was no bag!”
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>Rarity nods, stepping next to you.
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>”Anon is right. We had no bags nor anything similar when we woke up. Fluttershy is lying.”
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>You look to the mare and nod, glad she can see reason.
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>Dash scoffs, heading back into the building.
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>”Yeah, right, like we'll believe a liar like you. Let her go Anon, she can go grab her bag real quick and we'll head out.”
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>Glaring at the rainbow maned mare, you let go of flutterbutt as she starts running for the room you all started in.
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>She quickly opens and closes where the first room was.
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>You wait a moment before bursting the three gullible mares bubble.
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“The doors switch when we get the point in them. Remember?”
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>It is almost physically possible to see cogs turning in their heads.
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>Applejack gasps and growls.
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>”Why that no good, yellah bellied, cheatin' lil-”
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>*DING*
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>You turn around to see Fluttershy has scored a fourth point.
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>She exits the room, bagless, and makes a hasty line for the door.
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>”Well, I couldn't find it, lets go!”
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>She is stopped in her tracks by a pissed off cowmare.
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>”Fluttershy! Ya lied ta us!”
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>The accused mare gives her friend a big grin and looks away from her gaze, laughing nervously.
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>”N-No, I-I just don't think we should search every room looking for my bag.”
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>Twilight gets in Fluttershy's face, pushing her back.
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>”And the fact you now have a point on us?”
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>”... Happy coincidence?”
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>Just as Twilight is about to chastise her yellow friend, Dash darts into the nearest room.
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>You hear a quick yell followed by a hasty exit.
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>The rainbow mare's tail is only about half as long as it was, with smoke rising from it.
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>*DING*
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>She is tied with Fluttershy.
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>”I am NOT going to lose to Fluttershy! That's just embarrassing!”
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“There. A tie. Can we go now?”
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>Applejack makes a bee line for the nearest room.
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>Twilight and Fluttershy soon follow suit.
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>Sighing, you take a seat near the double doors as dings start to go off.
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>Rarity sits next to you, groaning in frustration.
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“Well, this is a nice way to spend the day.”
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>*DING*
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>”Indeed. I must ask Anon, how do y-”
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>*DING*
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>”... do you deal with this?”
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>Before you can answer, Fluttershy runs past.
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>She is wearing black make-up as the zebras from before follow her.
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>”Look! It's the white filly!”
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>”Get her!”
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>You step in front of Rarity as the zebras start to run for her.
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>Fluttershy grabs one and throws him at the nearest door from her.
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>”No time! GO!”
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>The zebras listen to their apparent new leader.
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>Sitting back down, you see Applejack run into a room as she wears a clown costume.
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“I don't even know anymore. It was fine when it was just one or tw-”
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>*DING DING*
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“-o mares, but now? Fuck, sometimes I feel like just throwing myself at them and giving up. It's like I'm a-”
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>*DING*
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“-... a piece of meat to them. Or a living dildo.”
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>*DING*
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>Twilight is being chased by midget diamond dogs as she goes into the room next to you.
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>Once she and her dog posse are inside, Rarity looks at you.
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>”If it helps, Anon, I am not interested.”
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>You flash the mare a smile, petting her head.
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“Strangely enough, it does. Thanks.”
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>She returns the smile.
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>”You are not a piece of meat, you are a friend. Just because some ma-”
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>*DING*
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>Twilight exits the room alone, her entire body covered in soot.
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>The purple mare covered in black dust runs for another room.
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>*CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK*
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>She turns around and heads back into the room she exited, it having been replaced.
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>Rarity sighs before continuing.
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>”SOME mares can't control their hormones, doesn't mean you are.”
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>*DING DING DING*
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>All four competing mares meet in the center, panting.
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>Applejack looks as if she just swam through gelatin.
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>Fluttershy still has her zebra posse, but now she is sporting an electricity induced afro.
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>Twilight's coat is back to purple, but has magic marker all over it.
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>Dash is now sporting a crew cut while wearing a pair of groucho glasses.
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>After a moment to look each other over, they stare at the screen.
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>They are all tied again.
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>Each mare groans before searching for more rooms.
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“What the fuck did Pinkie place in this house?”
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>”I honestly do not wish to know darling.”
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>Letting off a sigh, you and Rarity sit in silence for a few moments as more dings ring throughout the house.
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>Having had enough, you stand and brush your pants off.
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“Want to get out of here? Maybe grab some lunch or something.”
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>Rarity looks away, looking as if she has something to say.
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>”Um, Anon? I'm not a human fucker.”
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“Oh, that's okay, I'm not a horse fucker.”
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>She giggles and stands.
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>”Very well. Than this is not a date.”
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“No way in-”
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>*DING DING DING DING*
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“... hell.”
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>Sharing a groan, the two of you exit as the mares continue to do odd little objectives.
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>They don't even notice that you have left to spend an evening
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>Not fucking Rarity.
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>A soft smile forms on your lips as you watch Nonny and Rarity leave the house together.
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>Looks like your plan was a complete success!
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>You proceed to tear down all the pennants you have on your wall except the Rarinon one.
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“Atteeeention everypony! The test is over!”
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>Looking at the screen, you see four very confused ponies.
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>They look to the scoreboard.
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>Fluttershy squeals as the rest let out cries of defeat.
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>”I won! I won! I never win anything! Eeee!”
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“Nope! You didn't win Fluttershy!”
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>The afro mare stops her excited hopping, looking lost.
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>”B-But I have the most points.”
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“Mhmm! Buuut that wasn't the only way to pass the test~ Hee hee!”
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>Your friends look quite annoyed.
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>Dash manages to grunt out a simple 'what' as she grinds her teeth together.
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“Well, there were two ways to win! Get Nonny to accept you as his special somepony himself OR get the most points and make him! Rarity already won! She and Nonny just left!”
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>They may not like it, but if Nonny already chose who he wants, you can't force him to choose differently.
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>Sighing, you look out the window to see the two new lovebirds walking into town.
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>Twilight starts to giggle, grabbing your attention back to the monitor.
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>”S-Say, Pinkie? Why don't you come down here and we will all have a big party together!”
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>Uh oh, looks like your friends are a liiiiittle mad at you.
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>Afroshy's zebra friends look ready to kill somepony.
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>Twilight and Applejack go into two rooms and pulls out whatever is inside.
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>One holding a giant scorpion, the other a clown.
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>Wait, where's Rainbow?
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>A loud banging comes from outside your door.
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“Eeep!”
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>You can hear Dash's muffled voice.
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>”I found her! She's in here!”
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>Oopsie, looks like you'll have to take the emergency exit.
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>You sit back in your chair and hit a button.
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“Wheee!”
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>You go flying out of the house, chair shooting out a parachute once you are a good distance away from it.
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>Pulling out a pair of binoculars, you look for Nonny and Rarity.
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>They are having coffee at Sugarcube Corner.
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>You let out a soft sigh and fan yourself.
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“Young love.”
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>Day Going native in Equestria.
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>This is the best wet dream ever.
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>You can almost feel the plush human ass you are pounding on your dick.
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>Even the screams and moans almost sound real.
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>”Ah! Ah! S-Stop!~ T-That's the wrong h-hole darling!~”
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>With a sleepy moan, you continue to drive your dick down this girls ass.
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>You swear you've met this girl before.
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>”Oooh! You big s-strong stallion you! Fuck me!”
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>Wait a damn minute.
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>Stallion?!?
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>Your eyes fly open.
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>The sight of your arms wrapped around Rarity as your dick is buried in her ass is the first thing you see.
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“Rarity?!”
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>She giggles, a sleep mask covering her vision.
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>”Mmm, say my name!”
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“Rarity! It's me, Anon!”
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>She yells and pulls off her mask, turning her head to look at you.
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>”A-ANON?!? W-Where's my stallion?!”
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“I don't know! Probably the same place my woman is at!”
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>The two of you stare at each other, eyes locked.
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>Jesus, did you seriously just fuck a horse?!
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>Looking at her, she starts to blush, lip trembling a bit.
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>... Why does your face feel hot?
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>Why are you not bothered as much that you stuck your dick in... Rarity.
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>Dammit, somewhere along the lines of all your -not- dates and -not- make out sessions, you must have grown okay with the thought of bedding a horse.
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>No... Not any horse, just Rarity.
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“S-Should I keep go-”
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>”Yes! I-I mean... please.”
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>She turns her head away, panting a bit as you grind your member inside her.
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>You wrap your hand on her chest.
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>She shivers and lets out a soft moan.
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>”L-Lower~”
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>You do so, hand above her stomach.
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>”Lower, my dear Anon.”
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>Reaching lower you-... you are touching crotch boobs.
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>With a mischievous grin, you start to tease and squeeze her breasts.
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>She presses her body against you as the two of you continue this dirty dance.
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>Rarity is laying atop you, tracing a hoof over your chest.
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>”So... what are we?”
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>Looking to her, you smile.
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“What do you mean?”
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>”I mean, what are WE. I-I'm not a human fucker.”
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“And I wasn't a horse fucker. For you though... I'll make an exception.”
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>She blushes as she cuddle up against you.
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>”I suppose I can as well. Er, does this mean we should work harder to stop our friends from trying to bed you?”
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>Letting off a groan, you are reminded of a new routine the four mares you didn't accidentally start daing have taken up.
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>In fact, they should be arriving any moment now.
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>*Knock knock knock*
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>”Anon? Are you home?”
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>You take a deep breath before throwing on a robe and heading downstairs.
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>Opening your front door, you are met with four very different attempts today.
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>Twilight is wearing a gimp suit, Applejack has syrup drenched from head to hoof on, Dash is wearing a fake mustache while holding a strap on, and Fluttershy's diet to grow a larger ass seems to be paying off.
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>Applejack raises a sticky hoof and smiles.
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>”Well?”
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“I just fucked Rarity.”
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>They all gasp, except Twilight who is still in a gimp suit.
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>Fluttershy sits on her now thick plot and whimpers.
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>”B-But I worked sooo hard getting this badonk a donk!”
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“It is a nice one Fluttershy, but not one I want.”
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>Dash throws her strap on and mustache to the ground before storming off.
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>The cowmare undoes Twilight's mouth gag so she can speak.
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>”... Can we watch?”
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>The rainbow maned mare comes running back.
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>”Yeah, can we?”
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>All four of your perverted friends have the same hopeful smile on.
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“No.”
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>You close the door and hear them all whimper.
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>Just as you are about to head back and plow that fine horse ass again, your room mate exits -his- room.
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“Hey Juan.”
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>It's Pinkie, but with a mustache and sombrero on.
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>”Hola Senor Anon. Are the mareos still lookingo for Pinkieo?”
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“Quit trying to speak Spanish, it's racist as all fuck.”
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>”Wello?”
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>Letting off a sigh, you shake your head.
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“I'm pretty sure they won't be chasing after you anymore.”
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>”Whyo?”
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“I just fucked Rarity and told them.”
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>Pinkie squeals, jumping out of her corny disguise and looking you dead in the eyes.
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>”So my plano workedo?”
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“Yeso! Now geto the fucko outo my houseo.”
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>You punt the mares bottom down the stairs as she bounces on her butt.
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>”Okay Nonny! Have fun playing with Rarity.
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>More like
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>Fucking Rarity.
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