Anon the Foalsitter


                                            >"I'm so, so sorry... but thank you so much for this, Anon."

                                            >It was probably the fiftieth time Derpy's apologized to you in the last hour.

                                            >You could understand, what with her suddenly popping out of nowhere in the market and asking you to watch after her child for the next six hours and giving you practically twenty seconds to come up with an answer on the spot.

                                            >And of course, being the charismatic master you were, you gave her the words she needed to hear, not what she wanted.

                                            >In other words, you froze and said yes without realizing what she asked of you.

                                            >But this was Derpy Hooves, your best friend since foalhood.

                                            >Could you ever truly say no?

                                            >As Derpy stood in the front doorway and apologized yet again, all you could do was just utter a soft titter in response.

                                            "It's fine, Derpy," you assure her, "you don't have be sorry."

                                            >But it didn't put the mare's worries at ease; in fact, it only seemed to exacerbate them.

                                            >"I know, I know... but it's just not fair of me to throw this on you like that. I-If you want, I can ask Twilight or Rainbow Dash if—"

                                            "A-Ah," you stutter," I think Dinky would be better off NOT having Rainbow Dash watch over her again..." you retort with a chuckle.

                                            >Derpy winced, returning a sheepish grin.

                                            >"That's fair..."

                                            >The grin lasted for only a moment before her familiar worrisome frown returned.

                                            >"But I still can't help but feel terrible for putting this on you. I-It's just that the post office suddenly had a pipe leak and now we have to sift through what got ruined and... I just didn't know who to turn to!"

                                            >Derpy had already told you the situation at least three times now, but the gears in her head were so focused on what she tasked YOU to do.

                                            >You walked over to her and placed a hoof on her shoulder.

                                            "Look at me. Deep breaths, remember?"

                                            >With a nod, Derpy immediately began to take in a deep breath, then slowly exhale.

                                            >You knew it was the best way to calm her down, otherwise she'd never sleep a wink!

                                            "Better?" you ask her kindly.

                                            >She nods slowly, then looks up at you.

                                            >"Are you sure you and Dinky will be okay?"

                                            >Maintaining your smile, you still can't help but deadpan at the girl.

                                            "Derpy... it's six hours. I've taken care of kids before. Plus, Dinky knows me. How hard could it be?"

                                            >Your apparent confidence in the situation seemed to put Derpy at least a little bit at ease. She was still undoubtedly worried of something happening...

                                            >But did she ever have any reason to doubt your help before?

                                            >With another deep breath and exhale, Derpy smiled warmly up at you, enough to melt even the coldest of hearts.

                                            >Then suddenly, you felt the touch of her lips on your cheek, followed by a little hum from her throat.

                                            >"You're the best, Anon."

                                            >You couldn't help blushing at the sudden affection, but you waved it off with a small chuckle.

                                            "A-Anytime, Derps~"

                                            >Stepping away, Derpy did one more check inside her postal bag before looking back up at you.


                                            >"Okay, so I should only be gone until seven o'clock. You won't have to worry about making dinner for her, but if you want, you can let her have some pudding from the fridge! Oh, and help yourself to some too!"

                                            "Sounds good to me," you reply with a grin, already thinking of a chocolatey helping. "Any allergies?"

                                            >"Nope! She's perfectly healthy!"

                                            >Derpy glanced over at her daughter running around with her "Tinker Belle" puppet doll... as she has been for the last hour.

                                            >"... Perhaps TOO healthy..."

                                            >Another small laugh escapes you.

                                            "Well, at this rate, don't be surprised if you come home to us napping on the couch."

                                            >Derpy giggles, hiding her mouth behind a hoof.

                                            >"I'm pretty used to it, at this rate!"

                                            >Suddenly, the clock on the wall nearby let out a small single chime.

                                            >"Oh, dear! I should get going! Thank you so much again, Anon!" Derpy exclaimed as she rushed to hug you, which you returned with your own.

                                            "Anytime~"

                                            >Upon hearing that Derpy was priming to leave, Dinky ran over to the door, Tinker Belle laying neatly on her back.

                                            >"Do you HAVE to leave?" Dinky asked sadly.

                                            >Derpy gave her a sad smile.

                                            >"I do, sweetie. But don't worry, Mr. Anon is gonna take care of you while I'm gone. So be a good girl and listen to him if he needs you to, okay?"

                                            >Despite the disappointment of her mother leaving without her, the thought of you staying with her for longer this time had her revving up with excitement yet again.

                                            >"Okay!"

                                            >"That's my girl~" Derpy cooed, hugging her daughter for a few precious moments before pulling away and making for the door, fastening her postal bag tightly to her person. "Now then, I'm off! Have fun, you two!"

                                            >"Bye, mommy!" Dinky exclaimed with a wave.

                                            "See ya, Derpy!" you say to your friend with a playful salute.

                                            >As soon as the mail mare set off for the Post Office, you closed the door with a small exhale through your nose.

                                            >Six hours with your best friend's adorable little daughter.

                                            >... How in the heck were you gonna entertain a kid for six hours?

                                            >"Mr. Anon! Wanna see what Tinker Belle can do? Look, she's a pirate!"

                                            >Dinky, with her doll strapped to her back, began rocking back and forth with every step, much like a ship, all while shouting in pirate-speak.

                                            >"Argh! Where be me doggy?!"

                                            >... Well, she's certainly creative...


                                            __________


                                            >Now, you were well aware of how much energy this little filly had, day in and day out.

                                            >Derpy would tell you /all about it/ whenever the two of you had the time to hang out together.

                                            >But the reality of it was far more than you ever hoped to bargain for.

                                            >By this point, it's now two in the afternoon.

                                            >And you're wondering how she hasn't passed out yet.

                                            >In the last hour since her mother left, she's been shouting like a pirate, drawing numerous doodles of her and Tinker Belle as cowponies on the old Equestrian frontier, and is now currently riding you like a... well, like a pony.

                                            >"Whee! Forward, my steed! To battle, haha!" she shrieked with unadulterated joy.


                                            >Was this girl made of sugar?!

                                            >You dashed and trotted your way across the fenced-in backyard of Derpy's cottage, with the filly riding on your back with a Papier-mâché sword, with you acting as Dinky's noble steed as she rode into battle.

                                            >This time, she was a rightful Dame, and she and her companion Sir Tinker were battling for the glory of the Pudding Empire.

                                            >It probably wasn't a good idea to let her eat a quarter of the pudding bowl, but mistakes were made!

                                            >Still, she seemed like she was having a good time, if her rampant giggles were any indication!

                                            >"Faster, my steed! Glory is nearly ours! Soon, the Empire will belong to Dinky the Benevoleeuuwoooah—!"

                                            >While running through the backyard, you ended up stepping on a particularly slippery patch of grass and found yourself careening into the nearest puddle of mud.

                                            >In hindsight, running in the yard after it just rained probably wasn't a smart idea, either.

                                            >Though you managed to make a quick recovery and avoid scuffing your fur, your so-called Dame wasn't so lucky.

                                            >You turned around to find Dinky completely covered in mud from head to hind-hoof.

                                            >With a wince, you slowly approached the filly, anticipating her breaking into tears at any moment.

                                            >"Pffegh! Gross!" she exclaimed, flicking her hooves to wipe away any loose mud on her body. "Pfegh! Pfft! Blfffh! Blegh!"

                                            >The sight admittedly made you laugh silently to yourself, but you still went over to assist her.

                                            "Are you okay, sweetheart?" you asked politely, helping her wipe off the mud that you could get.

                                            >Dinky gave you a little nod, only to wince as she reached down to her left knee.

                                            >You inspected her knee and saw she had a little cut; it was nothing too serious, but the sounds of discomfort from Dinky still made it clear that it wasn't fun.

                                            >Of course, boo-boos are serious business!

                                            "Don't you worry," you say to the dirty filly as you scooped her up over your shoulder and plopped her on your back. "We're gonna get that fixed up in no time!"

                                            >"... Do I have to take a bath?"

                                            "Yep~"

                                            >"Aww..."


                                            __________


                                            >A few minutes later, the Dame of the Pudding Empire and her companion Sir Tinker were now covered in suds, and submerged in dirty mud water; the loosest clumps immediately separated from her fur, while the stickiest ones slowly dissolved, turning the water in the tub a sickly brown.

                                            >It was gross, but Dinky seemed to be having just as much fun in the water, in spite of her initial disdain for bath time.

                                            >Her Tinker Belle doll, which was completely covered in nothing but gunk and completely unrecognizable before dropping it in, was now just wet and filled like a sponge.

                                            >There was no new character this time; Dinky just swam the doll around like a shark.

                                            >Or a boat?

                                            >"Brrrr! Vroom! Rawr!"

                                            >... Or both...?

                                            >You applied a fresh dab of shampoo to the filly's head and began to lightly scrub, taking great care in smoothing out the mats.

                                            >She just giggled and cooed at your touch, and a boop on her nose only amplified the laughter.


                                            >"Don't forget to wash Tinker Belle!" Dinky suddenly exclaimed, holding up her drenched doll before you.

                                            >You just chuckled.

                                            "Of course! Can't forget your Second in Command, now can I?"

                                            >You squirted a smaller dab of soap and shampoo mix onto the doll and began to scrub, lathering it in bubbles and pineapple-y freshness—and admittedly, it was doing wonders in cleaning off the stains.

                                            >Before long, and after a brief dip in the bath to wash the soapy remnants away, Tinker Belle was fresher than ever before!

                                            >Dinky squealed and hugged the toy close to her body.

                                            >With her toy now cleaned, it was Dinky's turn to be washed off.

                                            >You grabbed one of the small pails next to the tub and filled it with water, then poured it over the filly's head.

                                            >She giggled as the water dripped down her body, leaving her head shampoo-free and her previously muddied coat now pristine.

                                            >After one more successful look-over, you scooted Dinky out of the tub and wrapped her body in a towel to dry her off, then drained the bathtub.

                                            "Alright," you say to her as you wrap the towel around her, "why don't you and Tinker Belle head into the kitchen and grab some more pudding?"

                                            >Dinky gasped with excitement.

                                            >"Really?"

                                            "Yep! But only one teeny bowl this time, missy!" you reply with a slight titter.

                                            >The filly's ears sank as she gave an innocent yet guilty little smile before trotting her way out of the bathroom, doll in tow.

                                            >You, on the other hoof, hopped quickly into the bathtub and ran a small shower.

                                            >While you were not as much of a victim as Dinky, carrying a mud-lathered filly on your back without protection was probably not the greatest idea.

                                            >What else is new today?

                                            >After a few minutes, you rinsed yourself off, then rinsed off the walls of the tub and hopped out, with not a scrap of mud left on you.

                                            >When you left the bathroom and got ready to look for Dinky, you instead found her on the living room couch, still wrapped up in her towel and no doubt already asleep from the looks of it.

                                            >Guess she wasn't made of sugar, after all.

                                            >With a small chuckle, you sneak your way up to the couch and sit on the opposite end as to not alert the sleeping filly.

                                            >However, as soon as you sit down, Dinky makes her way over to you and rests her head in your lap, letting out a small tired sigh.

                                            >You couldn't help but smile and reach down to pet her mane.

                                            >"Mr. Anon...?" Dinky suddenly called out quietly, startling you.

                                            "Yeah, Dinky?" you whispered back with a smile.

                                            >"... Are you gonna be my new daddy?"

                                            >You stopped petting her and froze.

                                            "Your... new daddy?"

                                            >"Mm-hmm," Dinky hummed tiredly with a little nod. "You're always with my momma a lot."

                                            >She wasn't wrong about that, now that Anon realized it, his smile growing.

                                            "Well, your mom and I have been friends since we were kids. We always like hanging out with each other."

                                            >"Even when I'm around...?"

                                            >Your heart sank a little.

                                            "/Especially/ when you're around, Dinky."


                                            >You combed your hoof through her mane; Dinky leaned into your touch, but she otherwise remained still on your lap.

                                            >There was a part of you that figured where this was going, but you still had to ask.

                                            "What's wrong, sweetheart? Do you think we don't want you around?"

                                            >"No... nothing like that, but..."

                                            >She went silent for a moment, adjusted her head a tad, then laid back down.

                                            >"Every time momma gets close to someone, they stop coming back. They always act so nice to us and then they leave, and momma always looks so sad. But when you come see us, she's always so happy. She was happy around them too... but not as much as she is with you!"

                                            >Your eyes opened a bit at that.

                                            >It was one thing to hear it from any one of your friends, but your friend's daughter?

                                            >You had some idea of what was happening, but nothing like that.

                                            >"You're so nice to us... but I don't want my momma to be sad again."

                                            >You were speechless.

                                            >So instead, you used actions to convey your message, and reached down to kiss the little filly on her forehead, just beneath her horn.

                                            "Dinky... I'd never do that to you /or/ your mom. Your mom is an incredible mare, and an amazing mother," you say to her, petting Dinky's head for emphasis. "I don't know if we'll get any closer than we are right now... but I promise you: I will /NEVER/ abandon either of you. Understand?"

                                            >As you continued to pet her, you heard the sound of her sniffling beneath you.

                                            >Before you could begin to wipe her tears away, she turned around and reached up to hug you tightly in her arms, trying her hardest not to cry.

                                            >You hugged her back and continued to pet her gently, shushing her cries.

                                            "Shh... it's alright, sweetheart..."

                                            >You could only imagine the kind of rollercoaster those "other guys" put her and Derpy through.

                                            >She never was willing to be too open about her dating life—not that it was any of your business.

                                            >But to hear how bad it was from her own daughter...?

                                            >You held Dinky tighter.

                                            "I'm not going anywhere..."


                                            __________


                                            >Not long after seven o'clock, the front door creaked open slowly, and a cheerful albeit sluggish cross-eyed mare stepped through, her postal bag empty and trailing beside her.

                                            >"I'm home!" she exclaimed softly as she closed the door behind her.

                                            >There was no reply to her call, but it didn't take long to figure out why.

                                            >As Derpy entered the living room, the very first thing she saw were two figures cuddled precariously on the couch, no doubt sound asleep, and both smiling as they snuggled into their embrace.

                                            >The mare smiled, putting a hoof up to her mouth as she gazed at her best friend sleeping with her daughter in his arms, her Tinker Belle doll nestled comfortably between them.

                                            >She didn't say anything to disturb them; she just watched.

                                            >And the longer she watched, the greater her smile.

                                            >She sighed blissfully.

                                            >"I'm gonna marry him..."


                                            __________


                                            >Twenty minutes later, you and Derpy were standing on the porch, while Dinky slept soundly in the living room.

                                            >"Thank you so much again for doing this, Anon," the wall-eyed mare beamed. "It turns out the damage was so much worse than they thought, but they managed to bring in some higher-ups to sort things out more. Otherwise, I could've been gone all night!"

                                            >You couldn't help but wince at that.

                                            "Yeesh. It was that bad?"

                                            >Derpy groaned softly and nodded.

                                            >"I hope everyone can still get their mail... I'd feel terrible, otherwise."

                                            >With a little smile, you pat Derpy on the shoulder.

                                            "Well, the important thing is you still gave them help when they needed it. That's what matters, right?"

                                            >The mare giggled sheepishly.

                                            >"I-I guess you're right," she replied soon after, then looked up at you again. "Did Dinky behave?"

                                            >You nod and grin.

                                            "That kid's got more energy than I thought... but she was pretty great. Heck of a creative mind."

                                            >"I guess you can blame those comics I gave her last month. One issue of Pirate Ponies and Tinker Knights, and she can't get enough of them!"

                                            >The two of you laughed together for a moment underneath the porch awning.

                                            >Derpy then leaned in and gave you a second kiss on the cheek today.

                                            >"Well, I'm glad the two of you had fun."

                                            "Yeah..." you said, trailing off as you looked back through the open doorway towards the slumbering filly. "She's a sweet kid. And it's not hard to see where she gets it from~"

                                            >That earned you another giggle from the mare.

                                            >With an eased sigh, she looked back up at you.

                                            >"Hey... Anon?"

                                            >You turn back to her.

                                            "Yeah?"

                                            >"I was wondering... if you're available... would you like to stay for dinner?"

                                            >You smiled.

                                            "Sure... I'd like that."


                                            END