mare is for air (album lyrics)


                                            https://odysee.com/@vul:0/mare_is_for_air:0

                                            [Sleepless Moondancer]

                                            With insomnia, nothing's real. You're never really asleep, and you're never really awake.

                                            Everything is far away. Everything is a copy of a copy of a copy.

                                            After a full moon of having to listen to my neighbors for nights on end, I think I somehow got acclimated to not sleeping at night. It's funny, because during the day...


                                            And when the spell is applied perpendicular to our matrix layer, the form of the transient response is, please, Moondancer?

                                            Moondancer?


                                            What's the point of taking these classes anymore? I can't even take notes! A few seconds after I've written them down, I look down at the paper and either I haven't written anything at all, or it's completely illegible.


                                            Nothing works. I've tried exercise. I've tried warm milk. I've tried yoga. Counting sheep! Breathing exercises! And still every night I am left lying in bed questioning why I can't go to sleep.


                                            But what I have always wondered most is what the neighbors were doing. Who the hay needs to be blasting music at 5:30 in the morning? Do you not have to work during the day? You can't be working graveyard shift because then you wouldn't be blasting your music in your house while working...


                                            Ugh...


                                            What time is it?


                                            5:30?!


                                            What in Celestia's name is going on down there?


                                            Do you know why I'm down here?


                                            Nope.


                                            Is it... ten?


                                            It's 5:30!


                                            Well, that sucks.


                                            Hey, wait, I'm not done talking to you!

                                            Ugh! Now I have to go through the official channel.


                                            (Intro)

                                            (Oooh)


                                            (Verse 1)

                                            Thank you for contacting us

                                            But first some information

                                            We hope this conversation

                                            won’t give you too much fuss


                                            If you use the right channel

                                            When you file a formal complaint

                                            (And what is the right channel?)

                                            Your words will be on their way

                                            To management, just if you’ll


                                            (Chorus)

                                            Please hold

                                            (What?)

                                            a representative will be here shortly, ooh

                                            Please fold, don’t try to pin all of this trouble right upon me

                                            I get paid minimum wage

                                            No pony trained me for this job

                                            I don’t know what to say

                                            I’m not prepared for this at all


                                            So please hold, if you could simply wait a moment

                                            These calls--might take a little longer than you wanted

                                            My break is in five minutes

                                            But now you’ve put this before me

                                            I really don’t want to do this

                                            You know it really isn’t easy


                                            (This is ridiculous! Why is nopony willing to tell me how I'm supposed to file a complaint?!)


                                            (Verse 2)

                                            Yes, that sure seems like trouble

                                            With neighbors partying late at night

                                            That could make one want to cry

                                            Now, I hope this won’t befuzzle


                                            We’re sorry to hear about your pain

                                            But I’m not the right pony to talk to

                                            If you want the message to go through

                                            You’ll just have to try another way


                                            (Chorus)

                                            Please hold, a representative will be here shortly, ooh

                                            Please fold, don’t try to pin all of this trouble right upon me

                                            So do you really think

                                            That this is my career path?

                                            Please don’t please don’t freak

                                            I want to put this in the past


                                            So please hold, if you could simply wait a moment

                                            These calls--might take a little longer than you wanted

                                            (I'm sick of you ponies giving me the run-around!)

                                            Please stop yelling at me

                                            That won’t make it any faster

                                            If you could hold, just please

                                            This job is such a bastard


                                            (Bridge)

                                            Hey!

                                            Hello, can I speak to the manager?

                                            She’s not available? Have her call me back.

                                            Thank you. Ughh.


                                            (Verse 3)

                                            Now if we look within our records

                                            There’s only one complaint so far

                                            For us, that is no cause for alarm

                                            Not much we can do to make it better


                                            Of course.

                                            If you were to file more complaints

                                            There’d be more instances in our system

                                            And then we’d be of more assistance

                                            But that’ll be another day


                                            (Chorus)

                                            Please hold, a representative will be here shortly

                                            Please fold, don’t try to pin all of this trouble right upon me

                                            It’s for liability (Yeah, yeah, I get it).

                                            So we can show it in a court

                                            I hope that you can see

                                            If we want to claim in tort


                                            So please hold, if you could simply wait a moment

                                            These calls--might take a little longer than you wanted

                                            Chotto matte just a minute

                                            Arigathanks gozaimuch

                                            If you could yamete kudon’t

                                            I’d daisuki it a bunch

                                            Why do I feel like I’m turning Neighponese?

                                            Yakamashii…


                                            [Flutterrap]

                                            Sun is shinin', guess who's flyin'

                                            Out 'cause I want that human right in

                                            My snatch, the plan will hatch

                                            I'm fishin' for an Anonymous catch

                                            Gotta get my mouth on that monkey dick

                                            Tryin' to find what his fetish is

                                            He's playin' hard to get, but I'll bet

                                            That with the right scheme his mind will set

                                            On me, the freak with the yellow wings

                                            And then we'll do all the sexy things


                                            Is persistence your fetish, Anon?


                                            Socks on hooves, I'm on the move

                                            Without sound try to clip clop through

                                            Lights are darkened, senses sharpened

                                            Eyes on target, good so far then

                                            Circle 'round, try to take him down

                                            Just kidding, that cutout is cardboard brown

                                            Suddenly lights shining through the window

                                            It was a set-up; soon I'll be free no

                                            More, now there's pigs in my wake

                                            Fluttershy, she just can’t catch a break


                                            Are socks your fetish, Anon?


                                            What a day, I'm on probation

                                            Got this collar, neck abrasion

                                            Awful nice with a band made for me

                                            But it's not enough to withstand this raging horny

                                            Break 'em off, now it's Sugarcube Corner

                                            Want something that is made to order

                                            Got some flan with the goodies on it.

                                            My backup plan if he doesn't want it

                                            I got that chloro cloth, full stop

                                            If not for his crazy skills with that mop


                                            Are mops your fetish, Anon?


                                            Pop around the corner, then it dawns on her

                                            The mop is out and it's heading for her

                                            Found me out, and I'm feelin' sorta

                                            La la la la, la la la la


                                            Is rap your fetish, Anon?


                                            [Pinkiepocalyptica]

                                            [Verse 1]

                                            It came to mind in desperate times--and lands of groove devoid

                                            Cruel things on puppet strings and faith and trust destroyed

                                            Where ponies' fears of their own peers festered, their spirits breaking

                                            In prison wards and under dangling swords of their own making


                                            In quiet words that were loudly heard did the elder ones claim

                                            That the lessons of the past do hardly last; some things don't change.

                                            And I decried in mad reply--how could you state this such?

                                            If there's a way to cure this bane, complaining won't do much, ow


                                            [Chorus]

                                            It's time for you to funk on down

                                            To know the truth and get the sound

                                            You hear the saxes blowing, then ya knowing,

                                            It's time to move on out

                                            It's time for you to know the One

                                            And let the funky be your judge

                                            You know this groove ain't lying, it ain't dying,

                                            Cause Pinkie's bringin' back the funk


                                            [Verse 2]

                                            I had borne the elders' scorn for speaking other ways

                                            I walked alone and soon had known for whom I'd search for days

                                            I sought the One, the sacred sun, who shines with radiant heat

                                            The measure's head, of this I read, and bore the mark of beat


                                            I traveled high and far and wide until I found the fabled sacred ground

                                            To free our souls and make us whole, not in our sufferings drown

                                            A fair exchange I deigned to make with the voices that I heard

                                            We'll want no junk; give up the funk and your manna we'll confer, ow


                                            [Chorus]

                                            It's time for you to funk on down

                                            To know the truth and get the sound

                                            You hear the saxes blowing, then ya knowing,

                                            It's time to move on out

                                            It's time for you to know the One

                                            And let the funky be your judge

                                            You know this groove ain't lying, it ain't dying,

                                            Cause Pinkie's bringin' back the funk


                                            [Bridge]

                                            (Swing down sweet chariot, stop, and let me ride)


                                            I regret that I have but one funk to give for my country.

                                            So let’s make it work.


                                            Swing down sweet chariot, stop, and let me ride

                                            One nation united under a groove

                                            A groove of the funky, by the funky, for the funky

                                            By the power invested in these hooves

                                            I petition the one who inspires us to move

                                            To bring down the funk.


                                            PinkaDelica Diane Pie. Our mainframes have processed thy petition and found thy funk to be adequately groovy for our purpose. Prepare for delivery of funk in T-minus 5, 4, 3, 2...


                                            [Verse 3]

                                            Now blessed with funk, I moved along to bring it back to town

                                            Instead of being piled with-a smiles, I was only faced by frowns

                                            But with some face time, they fell in bass line, new children of the One

                                            No pony could claim phony the realness of the funk, ow


                                            [Chorus]

                                            It's time for you to funk on down

                                            To know the truth and get the sound

                                            You hear the saxes blowing, then ya knowing,

                                            It's time to move on out

                                            It's time for you to know the One

                                            And let the funky be your judge

                                            You know this groove ain't lying, it ain't dying,

                                            Cause Pinkie's bringin' back the funk


                                            (If you hear any noise, it’s just me and the boys, hit me. You gotta hit the band)

                                            (Uh, we want the funk, give up the funk, Uh, we need the funk, we gotta have the funk)


                                            [I Like Every Mare] {Some names truncated for rhyming.}

                                            I was toting my pack towards the horsey gates of fables told

                                            When along came an angel dressed in white and clad in shiny gold

                                            “If you're going to cross the portal, come with me, we can stride”

                                            And so I followed that one angel then we crossed to the other side

                                            He asked me: Do you think one mare above the others stands?

                                            I said listen bud, I favor every mare in these here lands


                                            I like every mare, man

                                            I'm an every mare man

                                            Mares both rare and fair, man.

                                            No man can dare compare man,

                                            Of mares I'd like a share man,

                                            I like every mare.


                                            I like Twilight, Starlight, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie

                                            Twinkleshine, Shoeshine, Posey Shy, Marble Pie,

                                            Plaid Stripes, Clear Skies, Clear Sky, Rainbowshine,

                                            Limestone Pie, Electric Sky, Sunshine Smiles, Maud Pie

                                            Cotton Sky, Misty Fly, Strawberry Ice, Surprise

                                            Perfect Pie, Velvet Light, {Lavender} Sunrise, my oh my


                                            Ah, I like every mare, man

                                            I'm an every mare man

                                            Mares both rare and fair, man.

                                            No man can dare compare man,

                                            Of mares I'd like a share man,

                                            I like every mare.


                                            I like Rarity, Minty, Trixie, Cheerilee,

                                            Apple Leaves, Jasmine Leaf, Peachy Sweet, White Lightning

                                            {Cherry} Jubilee, Fleur de Lis, Silver Berry, Apple Strudely

                                            Cherry Berry, Daisy, Lily Valley, Elbow Grease

                                            Sprinkle Medley, Harshwhinny, Apple Munchies, {Lipstick} Vanity

                                            Pursey Pink, Apple Honey, Berry Sweet, Summer Breeze


                                            Yeah, I like every mare, man

                                            I'm an every mare man

                                            Mares both rare and fair, man.

                                            No man can dare compare man,

                                            Of mares I'd like a share man,

                                            I like every mare.


                                            I like Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Vinyl Scratch, Sassaflash

                                            Beauty Brass, Frying Pan, Ruby Splash, Whirlwind Romance

                                            Shimmy Shake, Mrs. Cake,. Candy Mane, {Cocoa} Caliente

                                            Merry May, Raspberry Latte, Sunny Rays, Amber Waves

                                            Raspberry Glaze, {Joan} Pommelway, Lily Lace, Masquerade, what else do I have to say


                                            Ah, I like every mare, man

                                            I'm an every mare man

                                            Mares both rare and fair, man.

                                            No man can dare compare man,

                                            Of mares I'd like a share man,

                                            I like every mare.


                                            I like Lyra, Octavia, Luna, Celestia,

                                            Rara, Junebug, Roseluck, Minty Mocha

                                            Sweet Buzz, Butternut, Cloudy Quartz, {Saffron} Masala

                                            Helia, Somnambula, Rainbow Stars, Lemon Hearts,

                                            Sweetie Drops, Copper Top, Luster Dawn, Carrot Top,

                                            Air Pop, Torch Song, nothing wrong.


                                            I like every mare, man

                                            I'm an every mare man

                                            Mares both rare and fair, man.

                                            No man can dare compare man,

                                            Of mares I'd like a share man,

                                            I like every mare.


                                            [The Tendrils]

                                            [Verse 1]

                                            A scourge born from the forest

                                            Under fog and haze

                                            Crept towards the town as

                                            They rested from a busy day


                                            Sun and moon lit up the sky

                                            Our minds were in a fray

                                            Something just wasn’t right

                                            Something met us on our way


                                            [Chorus]

                                            The tendrils sprouted from the ground

                                            Choking all their prey

                                            Whatever ponies they had found

                                            Are trapped in viny cage


                                            The tendrils on a savage path

                                            For all the trees we pruned

                                            They plundered all we had

                                            The tendrils’ wrath we knew


                                            [Verse 2]

                                            The sky was streaked with lightning

                                            That pegasi couldn’t tame

                                            The toughness of these vine things

                                            Put shame to the Apple name


                                            Neither could the unicorns

                                            With all their magic spells

                                            Halt the plunder with their horns

                                            Their sorcery had failed


                                            [Chorus]

                                            The tendrils sprouted from the ground

                                            With nothing we could do

                                            Only Twilight could save us now

                                            Without her we were through


                                            The tendrils on a savage path

                                            For all the trees we pruned

                                            They plundered all we had

                                            The tendrils’ wrath we knew


                                            [Verse 3]

                                            Our saving grace, or so it seemed

                                            A cloud-white liquid brew

                                            The princess took a little drink

                                            To seek a hidden truth


                                            To tell the truth, I’m not quite sure

                                            What Twilight had seen

                                            But we had finally found the cure

                                            To save a Tree of Harmony


                                            [Chorus]

                                            The tendrils sprouted from the ground

                                            With twists and turns and bends

                                            They did their deed and withered out

                                            And met a timely end


                                            The tendrils on a savage path

                                            For all the trees we pruned

                                            They plundered all we had

                                            The tendrils’ wrath we knew


                                            [Call In The Border Patrol]

                                            The border's swarmed, creatures passing through

                                            Workers or thugs, we don't know who

                                            I think we know they're not sending their best

                                            Maybe a few good ones, then there's the rest


                                            I'm not a racist, I'll have you know

                                            I'm actually really into griffon scones

                                            So immigration is sometimes okay

                                            But they gotta come in the legal way


                                            (Prechorus)

                                            Equestria's swarmed by yaks and lings

                                            Dragons' scorn and filthy things

                                            Rally up the Wonderbolts

                                            Call in the Border Patrol...


                                            (Chorus)

                                            Call in the Border Patrol

                                            To save the future of Equestria's soul

                                            Call in the Border Patrol

                                            Please don't come here 'cause Equestria's full

                                            Call in the Border Patrol

                                            You know that work visa's void and null

                                            Call in the Border Patrol

                                            'Cause a nation without borders is none at all


                                            They're sending creatures that carry disease

                                            They're giving us the POVID-19

                                            You may think they're nice, but then you'll sob

                                            When a changeling takes away your acting job


                                            So it's the yak's culture to stomp and smash

                                            Some cultures are good, and some are trash (trash)

                                            You gotta learn the difference, that's the key

                                            To make a better world for you and me


                                            (Prechorus)

                                            Equestria's swarmed by yaks and lings

                                            Dragons' scorn and filthy things

                                            Rally up the Wonderbolts

                                            Call in the Border Patrol...


                                            (Chorus)

                                            Call in the Border Patrol

                                            To save the future of Equestria's soul

                                            Call in the Border Patrol

                                            Please don't come here 'cause Equestria's full

                                            Call in the Border Patrol

                                            You know that work visa's void and null

                                            Call in the Border Patrol

                                            'Cause a nation without borders is none at all


                                            (Bridge)

                                            You're kidding yourself; if they come at this rate

                                            There is no way they'd assimilate

                                            Instead they'll just rip up our culture

                                            And wealth like a bunch of ravenous vultures


                                            We can't pay to feed every single soul

                                            It's sad, but you gotta know when to fold

                                            So send out the Bolts, strike fast and hard

                                            Before we leave with even deeper scars


                                            (Chorus)

                                            Call in the Border Patrol

                                            To save the future of Equestria's soul

                                            Call in the Border Patrol

                                            Please don't come here 'cause Equestria's full

                                            Call in the Border Patrol

                                            You know that work visa's void and null

                                            Call in the Border Patrol

                                            'Cause a nation without borders is none at all


                                            Gonna catch 'em all, 'cause she's Rainbow Phantom

                                            Gotta catch 'em all, you know it's her destiny


                                            [Sigma Mare Grindset]

                                            [Intro]

                                            Hey, Rainbow, can I talk with you a second?

                                            Sorry, Twilight. I'm busy with my grind. Gotta go fast, ya know?

                                            We need to talk about what you said to Caramel this morning.

                                            Oh, that? Yeah. I might have been a little harsh, but I did what I had to do. Can't let colts distract me from my sigma mare grindset.

                                            What the hay is a 'sigma mare grindset'?

                                            Well, a sigma mare is a lot like an alpha mare but cooler and more mysterious.

                                            Ugh. This is going to be interesting.


                                            [Verse 1].

                                            Do stallions I spurn? A misunderstanding.

                                            I don’t wanna hurt ‘im, but I ain’t so randy.

                                            Respect is earned, don’t need no panhandling.

                                            No time for colts in the things I’m planning.

                                            I spit bars and I make ‘em plenty,

                                            I set bars and I break ‘em, can he?

                                            He’s got no cards; he won’t make it standing

                                            The only bar he’s set to a breakin’s candy


                                            Don’t waste my time ‘cause I’m on a mission

                                            I’m not your kind, I beat the competition

                                            Don’t get to bitchin’, you’ll find that you’re shittin’,

                                            Out of your luck, ‘cause this one ain’t quittin’

                                            It’s futile to try, ya can’t catch my driftin’

                                            Ya out of your mind, while I got a vision

                                            Stay in your line, d’ya know who ya dissin?

                                            I’m a rare type, I don’t wanna fit in


                                            [Chorus]

                                            Alpha, beta, not for me

                                            Not part of my reality

                                            It’s such a waste of energy

                                            And I think that you’ll find that

                                            I’m not like all the rest of them

                                            I’m hotter than the freaking sun

                                            Mysterious and aloof but

                                            I don’t care if you mind it

                                            These colts I got no time for,

                                            So they can go just cry more,

                                            I’m shootin’ for the high score

                                            ‘Cause thinkin’ big’s my mindset

                                            I’m building passive income

                                            I’m reading online wisdom

                                            Get ready ‘cause here it comes

                                            I’m on my sigma grindset


                                            [Break]

                                            Rainbow, I’m pretty sure “mysterious and aloof” are the last things anypony would describe you as.

                                            Eh. Sigma Rule #35 say don’t let the haters and trolls tell you what to do. Make your own path. That’s why I’m on my grind.


                                            [Verse 2]

                                            What separates you and me?

                                            You search rates on Travelocity,

                                            I lift weights for my travel velocity.

                                            I dodge dates, cause simpin’ I don’t wanna be.

                                            I move plates, and these colts all over me.

                                            Out of my way, ‘cause I don’t have time for these.

                                            I fly great, you slow like you had a lobotomy


                                            Clowns shoot the shit, I widen the rift,

                                            I’m tellin’ you this, I’m getting more fit,

                                            You already quit, keep eatin’ the clit,

                                            I don’t give a shit, I’m Bitcoinin’ rich.


                                            We are not the same, fool!

                                            I don’t play your game, fool!

                                            Self-select out of the gene pool!

                                            Yuh! Yuh!


                                            [Chorus]

                                            Alpha, beta, not for me

                                            Not part of my reality

                                            It’s such a waste of energy

                                            And I think that you’ll find that

                                            I’m not like all the rest of them

                                            I’m hotter than the freaking sun

                                            Mysterious and aloof but

                                            I don’t care if you mind it

                                            These colts I got no time for,

                                            So they can go just cry more,

                                            I’m shootin’ for the high score

                                            ‘Cause thinkin’ big’s my mindset

                                            I’m building passive income

                                            I’m reading online wisdom

                                            Get ready ‘cause here it comes

                                            I’m on my sigma grindset


                                            [Break]

                                            Rainbow, I know you like this kind of motivational video stuff, but I don’t really think this is healthy for you or your relationships.

                                            Mare, fuck you.

                                            What?


                                            [Verse 3]

                                            Splittin’ these rhymes like it’s yoga,

                                            Blowin’ your mind, I composed the

                                            Words you know I make the most of

                                            My graces from high, cause this life has chose her

                                            Keep my friends close and my enemies closer

                                            Stay the close colts, do I want them?

                                            I guess that I don’t and I don’t ‘cause

                                            I’m savin’ my oats, got a closed purse

                                            Sharper than most, not a dull spur


                                            Simp for a colt, don’t even know her

                                            Gonna stay home, while I go put fear in my foes

                                            So go clear or get hurt ‘cause I break bones,

                                            Not a coaster, I won’t wait for

                                            The slow learn while I make dough

                                            As the time goes, do the fakes fold or they break through?

                                            ‘Cause you’ll find out, where the cake goes,

                                            when you’re late so check the date, no? (Check it)


                                            [Chorus]

                                            Alpha, beta, not for me

                                            Not part of my reality

                                            It’s such a waste of energy

                                            And I think that you’ll find that

                                            I’m not like all the rest of them

                                            I’m hotter than the freaking sun

                                            Mysterious and aloof but

                                            I don’t care if you mind it

                                            These colts I got no time for,

                                            So they can go just cry more,

                                            I’m shootin’ for the high score

                                            ‘Cause thinkin’ big’s my mindset

                                            I’m building passive income

                                            I’m reading online wisdom

                                            Get ready ‘cause here it comes

                                            I’m on my sigma grindset


                                            [Sunshine, Rainbow, White Unicorn (Wowkie Zhang parody)]

                                            You know, Twilight, I've been digging into all kinds of musical genres recently. Punk rock, synthwave, trap. But I'm looking to expand my horizons to the global market.


                                            You're expanding some horizons alright.


                                            And what bigger market is there than China?


                                            Oh, no.


                                            And what's really neat is that there's this one Chinese singer who wears a shirt with me on it in a music video. Rainbow Dash? A global phenomenon? Can you believe it?


                                            Rainbow, how many social credit points is Xi Jinping giving you to say this?


                                            Now, let me tell you, I love the beauty of the Chinese language, and it really comes out in this song.


                                            You don't speak a lick of Chinese, Rainbow Dash.


                                            Watch this, Twilight.


                                            I have a really bad feeling about this.


                                            (Ni shi neigh ne ge neigh neigh ne ge ne ge neigh neigh

                                            neigh ne ge neigh neigh ne ge ne ge neigh neigh

                                            yang guang cai hong xiao bai ma

                                            di di-ka di di da

                                            Wo shi neigh ne ge neigh neigh ne ge ne ge neigh neigh

                                            neigh ne ge neigh neigh ne ge ne ge neigh neigh

                                            yang guang cai hong xiao bai ma

                                            di di-ka di di da)


                                            What? What the fuck are you doing? (hyperventilating) HOLY SHIT! STOP THIS NOW! I'M HAVING A FUCKING PANIC ATTACK! I'M GOING TO BE PERMANENTLY UNEMPLOYABLE!