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40K Ogryn Anon RGRE

By Hugh_Neutron
Created: 2023-10-18 04:54:24
Updated: 2023-10-19 02:21:23
Expiry: Never
comedyshortgreentextrgrewh40kogrynnon serious

  1. 1.
    Title: Ogryn Anon RGRE
  2. 2.
    Description: Short Reverse Gender Roles Equestria (RGRE) green about Anon the Ogryn from Warhammer 40K franchise
  3. 3.
    Original thread: https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/40169713/#40180056
  4. 4.
    Status: Complete
  5. 5.
     
  6. 6.
    ========
  7. 7.
     
  8. 8.
    >Be Anon
  9. 9.
    >But more importantantsly, be Ogryn!
  10. 10.
    >The best and toughest in the Ass-tro-Mee-lee-tar-rum
  11. 11.
    >You are in very bright outside with lots of little horsies and green growies
  12. 12.
    >You don't know how you got here
  13. 13.
    >What happened before?
  14. 14.
    >You try to remember
  15. 15.
    >The veteran dared you to dip your balls in liquid promethium
  16. 16.
    >Naw, you were fine after that
  17. 17.
    >There was that beast o' Nurgle ate ya
  18. 18.
    >But your mates saved ya
  19. 19.
    >Oh, you got it!
  20. 20.
    >There was a boom barrel
  21. 21.
    >You're friend hit it with his Rippa when you were near it
  22. 22.
    >Classic Ogryn joke!
  23. 23.
    >You remember flying into darkness after
  24. 24.
    >Are you dead?
  25. 25.
    >Is this the Emprah's house?
  26. 26.
    >Maybe Ogryn joke is too dangerous, just like Boss said
  27. 27.
     
  28. 28.
    ===
  29. 29.
     
  30. 30.
    >Little horsies are nice
  31. 31.
    >Littler than the little humies though
  32. 32.
    >You're helping Appuljack and Bigmac with raising a barn
  33. 33.
    >You just lift heavy things and hold it
  34. 34.
    >Just finishing the job
  35. 35.
    >'whew! That's done. You've been a big help Anon'
  36. 36.
    Is what I do, Ogryn is best at jobs like this ma'am
  37. 37.
    >'You really seem to like simple labour huh?'
  38. 38.
    Ma'am, yes ma'am. Dumb jobs is best for me.
  39. 39.
    >Appulbloom gives everyone some juice
  40. 40.
    >'Hey Anon, what was your job before coming here?'
  41. 41.
    I was in the guard and I fought heritics for the comiesar
  42. 42.
    AND I WAS BLEEDING GOOD AT IT
  43. 43.
    >All Appul horses start saying things at once
  44. 44.
    >Lots of nonce-sense about too dangerous or something
  45. 45.
    >This always happens when you tell the horsies what you did
  46. 46.
     
  47. 47.
    ===
  48. 48.
     
  49. 49.
    >Helping spark-head horse
  50. 50.
    >The purple one, Twoiloight Sparkle-head
  51. 51.
    >She has a spikey bit on her head but it's not like the heritics spikey bits
  52. 52.
    >'Alright Anon, please answer these questions as best you can.'
  53. 53.
    Okay Ma'am
  54. 54.
    >Twoiloight's test asks alot of hard questions like 'what is your name' and 'are you ready'
  55. 55.
    >'Hmmm, according to this your IQ is just below the average, for equestrian stallions that is.'
  56. 56.
    >Smile with pride for another job well done
  57. 57.
     
  58. 58.
    ===
  59. 59.
     
  60. 60.
    >Helping 3 littler ponies
  61. 61.
    >Appulbloom, Scootloo, and Sweetbelle
  62. 62.
    >You have found new great job for Ogryn
  63. 63.
    >Taste Tester!
  64. 64.
    >But also other secret job (shhh don't tell them)
  65. 65.
    >'Here Anon, try this one'
  66. 66.
    >Sweetbelle puts a plate of some green-brown-black pile in front of you
  67. 67.
    >You take big spoon and take big Ogryn bite
  68. 68.
    Is delicious, what is it?
  69. 69.
    >Scootloo answers proudly
  70. 70.
    >'Its supposed to be a cake but we made a few 'executive' substitutions'
  71. 71.
    >You finish the plate and stack it on the other finished plates
  72. 72.
    >Stack is now taller than pony
  73. 73.
     
  74. 74.
    ===
  75. 75.
     
  76. 76.
    >Be Rarity
  77. 77.
    >Watch Anon entertain the CMC for a moment
  78. 78.
    >You were saddled with taking care of the CMC for a spell but you had a lot of work to complete
  79. 79.
    >Luckily you were able to recruit Anon to help
  80. 80.
    >He may be a giant alien but he still had a natural fatherly talent to oversee and entertain foals, keeping them out of trouble
  81. 81.
    >He had effectively contained any damage they could do to the kitchen, letting you get some much needed peace and quiet
  82. 82.
    >Heck, maybe with all this practice Sweetie could cook a meal without turning it to coal!
  83. 83.
     
  84. 84.
    ===
  85. 85.
     
  86. 86.
    >Be Anon
  87. 87.
    >Enjoying many drinks with little horsie friend Rainb'Dash
  88. 88.
    >Good Ogryn recipe for grog, mix lots of corpse starch and toast in boiling water
  89. 89.
    >When very warm, put lots of malt grain
  90. 90.
    >Make sure not too hot!
  91. 91.
    >Wait for long time
  92. 92.
    >Add lots of sweet things like corpse sugar, candy, corpse sugar, jam, cookies, fruit, corpse sugar
  93. 93.
    >Add yeast
  94. 94.
    >Wait 7 sleepy times
  95. 95.
    >Mix one time every sleepy time
  96. 96.
    >Taste sometimes to make sure it's good but do not drink it all dummy
  97. 97.
    >Mix in amasec if weak
  98. 98.
    >Some Ogryn like bits and sludge in drink, not Anon!
  99. 99.
    >Anon is Ogryn of culture
  100. 100.
    >Move drink to new barrel without bits and sludge
  101. 101.
    >Bits and sludge make good desert! But that is another recipe
  102. 102.
    >Wait more sleepy times, maybe 7
  103. 103.
    >New sludge is on bottom so need to be careful, do not stir!
  104. 104.
    >Can drink carefully or move to clean barrel without sludge to drink
  105. 105.
    >'Hey, this stuff's pretty good'
  106. 106.
    >Rainb'Dash puts head in and takes big drink straight from barrel
  107. 107.
    >Ogryn is not fussy but that is rude, even for Orgryn
  108. 108.
    >You pull her out and dip mug in for her
  109. 109.
    >'Hehe, thanks big guy'
  110. 110.
     
  111. 111.
    ===
  112. 112.
     
  113. 113.
    >You and Rainb'Dash have now drinked to drunk
  114. 114.
    >Is good feeling
  115. 115.
    >Rainb'Dash talk lots about fighting and flying
  116. 116.
    >You tell many stories of bashing heretics too
  117. 117.
    >She likes to lay on you and your belly
  118. 118.
    >You like to pet her head
  119. 119.
    >You show collection of clubs
  120. 120.
    Loss old collection when I come here so I make new one
  121. 121.
    This one is tree branch and iron bar wrapped around, very strong, my favorite
  122. 122.
    >'Whoa, can I hold it?'
  123. 123.
    >You nod
  124. 124.
    >Rainb'Dash lifts heavy club but is hard for little pony
  125. 125.
    >'You're pretty crafty for a colt'
  126. 126.
    >She puts the club down
  127. 127.
    >Then gets close to you
  128. 128.
    >'You know, big guy, there's one club that I haven't seen yet'
  129. 129.
    >Rainb'Dash makes funny face and winks
  130. 130.
    >You don't understand, but that is normal
  131. 131.
    This is all Ogryn clubs Anon has
  132. 132.
    >'Come on, Anon, I'm asking if you want a roll in the hay'
  133. 133.
    >You shake your head
  134. 134.
    Hay is itchy
  135. 135.
    >'I'm talking about sex, you goofball. I want to have some fun and I think you do too'
  136. 136.
    Oh sex! Yes, Anon loves sex!
  137. 137.
    >'Heck yeah!'
  138. 138.
     
  139. 139.
    ===
  140. 140.
     
  141. 141.
    >Rainb'Dash leans backwards and shows private bits to you
  142. 142.
    >And
  143. 143.
    >And...
  144. 144.
    >There is a smell that hits you like charging grox
  145. 145.
    >The smell is familiar
  146. 146.
    >It smells like Plague Ogryn but worse!
  147. 147.
    >Then you see the bits
  148. 148.
    >You fear no Man or Ogryn
  149. 149.
    >But that *thing*
  150. 150.
    >It scares you
  151. 151.
    >Stomach feels pain, very bad
  152. 152.
    Is Rainb'Dash... a nurgle heretic?
  153. 153.
    >'Huh? What are ya talking about, big guy?'
  154. 154.
    >You remember 'deconstamintation protocle' and now you understand why Boss made you do that
  155. 155.
    >This is Nurgle curse
  156. 156.
    >You push Rainb'Dash off and puke all over floor
  157. 157.
    >'A-Are you okay?'
  158. 158.
    >Not time for talking, now is time for fixing
  159. 159.
    >You grab Rainb'Dash strongly so no escape and start run to Medicae place
  160. 160.
    >'Hey what's going on!'
  161. 161.
    >Rainb'Dash tries to worm out but Anon too strong, even when puking more on run
  162. 162.
    >You run all the way to Medicae ponies
  163. 163.
    >Slam Rainb'Dash on counter, still holding strong
  164. 164.
    >'Anon, let me go. This is crazy'
  165. 165.
    >You talk to the little medicae horsie at counter
  166. 166.
    Nurgle curse on Rainb'Dash. You need to fix it!
  167. 167.
    >Medicae horsie is confused
  168. 168.
    >'I'm sorry, what does that mean?'
  169. 169.
    >You pull Rainb'Dash's legs open to show
  170. 170.
    >Medicae horsie screams and pukes at same time and falls over
  171. 171.
    >Other ponies in waiting room puke from smell
  172. 172.
    >Other medicae horsie comes quick
  173. 173.
    >'What the buck is going on in here?'
  174. 174.
    >You turn Rainb'Dash towards her
  175. 175.
    >She screams and pukes at the same time too
  176. 176.
    >Then she talks into walkie talkie
  177. 177.
    >'CODE R-[BLARRG] RED. REPEAT CODE RED [HUUURLG]'
  178. 178.
     
  179. 179.
    ===
  180. 180.
     
  181. 181.
    >Rainb'Dash is in special room so no smell or curse escape
  182. 182.
    >You and smart doctor are outside
  183. 183.
    >Smart doctor pony talks to you and Rainb'Dash
  184. 184.
    >'Rainbow Dash has an advanced vaginal yeast infection but it seems like we caught it just in time before permanent damage and infertility. We'll start an agressive course of antibiotics, vaginal flushes, and a 6 month hygiene training course for Ms. Dash. It's extremely reckless letting it get this bad Ms. Dash.'
  185. 185.
    >Dash talks back
  186. 186.
    >'How was I supposed to know that's not what it's supposed to look like? No one ever told me.'
  187. 187.
    >Doctor gives very mean look to Rainb'Dash, like Commisar to bad soldier
  188. 188.
    >He talks to you now
  189. 189.
    >'You did good bringing this to our attention Mr. Ogryn. We all need friends to look out for our blind spots.'
  190. 190.
    >You smile big Ogryn smile
  191. 191.
    >Proud of another little'un protected from Heretics
  192. 192.
    >The Emprah protects

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