Dale Cooper in Equestria


                                            >Be Special Agent Dale Cooper, FBI.

                                            >It's another gray, foggy day. Silent and beautiful. Mist is tickling your skin.

                                            >On a walk one morning, you rationalize a quick detour through the woods of Twin Peaks - something to clear your mind during the difficult investigation underway.

                                            >It did not go as planned.

                                            "Diane, I am making my way through a patch of forest which appears unfamiliar to me. The usual Douglas firs and Sitka spruces that frequent these woods have been replaced by Oak and Cedar pine. In fact, much of the flora in this area is incongruent with what one might expect of the American Pacific Northwest. I'll keep you posted."

                                            >Continuing your walk, you find something even more strange.

                                            >A grove, clear of trees, seems as good a place as any to take a rest.

                                            >You do just that, examining the large rock beneath you and swiping it clean of dirt and mess before taking a seat.

                                            >In front of you is a bundle of sticks loosely strewn together.

                                            >Preparation for a fire?

                                            >No one seemed nearby.

                                            >You stand and limber up for a few seconds before making your way to the other side of the clearing.

                                            >A rustling, snoring sound emanates from around your position. You can't for the life of you make out just where it is exactly.

                                            >You re-enter the woods from the other side of the grove.

                                            >A few more minutes and you'd likely do well to make your way back to the Sheriff's station, where you had a can of Georgia Coffee waiting for you in reception.

                                            >For a brief moment you indulge the idea that the snoring sound was emerging from the bundle of sticks nearby; it sure seemed to be, anyway.

                                            >The thought is waved. Though whatever the creature is, you believe you can handle it.

                                            >Of course, it wouldn't hurt to have brought Hawk or Sheriff Truman along, but the decision to go alone has been made - and frankly, the silence suits you just fine.

                                            >Silence...and the sounds of the trees.

                                            >Their branches and leaves are waving gently in the wind.

                                            >It's a cool breeze. Colder than before, but by no means uncomfortable.

                                            >Still, you're reminded of the differences in the natural architecture.

                                            >The leaves are a dark shade of turquoise...rounded and clumped together.

                                            >Their trunks shine with a dull, dark gradient.

                                            >You make a mental note to ask Harry about this part of the woods when you arrive back at the Sheriff's station.

                                            >Assuming...

                                            >Turning around, you find the path (a generous term for the greenery you strode through) to be the same as it was when you made your way here.

                                            >Inversely, of course.

                                            >You smile and decide to make your way back, legs tired but mind clearer and more at ease. This little expedition has proven itself useful.

                                            >Dutifully, you walk back towards the clearing that gave you rest on your way in.

                                            >The snoring has grown louder and more lively. Whatever creature rests in this grove rests deeply.

                                            >The bundle of sticks...is it...?

                                            >Ah well. Another time.

                                            >You take no reprieve and make your way to other end of the clearing.

                                            >It's impossible not to notice just how blue the sky is today.

                                            >Nary a cloud in...sight.

                                            >Hm.

                                            "Diane, I find a slightly peculiar weather phenomenon has occurred before my very nose. On my way to the grove where I reside currently, the weather was cloudy from sky to sky. A little misty, even. But as I look up, it appears cloudless and serene. Not a disturbance in sight. The speed of the wind during my stroll doesn't seem to go along with such a change. And..."

                                            >You look ahead at the entrance to the grove.

                                            >The path you used to arrive at the clearing is gone.

                                            "Diane, you may also find this interesting. The path I paved on my way here is nowhere to be found. It's been replaced by a thicket of small trees and bushes. There is no alternate path. Another item of note: as I speak, a large, unkempt bundle of sticks and twigs is moving on its own - I assure you, I am mentally sound - and they're clumping together, forming some kind of living creature. It appears angry at me, Diane. It's approaching me viciously. I'd better skedaddle. Will update you on future occurrences."

                                            >You cut the pleasantries short and run like the wind.