Pale Pony Posse


                                            >Look you weren't racist, you just coincidentally had a magnetic attraction to white mares.

                                            >Just because your entire herd was made up of them didn't mean you were prejudiced against other colors.

                                            >You did try to add some colors of the rainbow to your herd, but it simply didn't work out with them for one reason or another.

                                            >It was also definitely not racist or speciesist that a majority of your herd were unicorns, it was probably a color more prominent in their genes than the other races or something.

                                            >What DID make you a racist in your herd's eyes, is that if their manes and tails were covered, you couldn't tell them apart, like at all.

                                            >When you tried to be practical and give them identifiers for the winter season, not only did they refuse to wear them, but your herd viciously destroyed them in various cruel ways.

                                            >You didn't know what the big deal was all about, they were just hats with little flags on them.

                                            >Not only would you be able to tell who was who, but you also wouldn't lose them in the snow, their fur perfectly suited to camouflage right in.

                                            >But when Rarity saw them, she suffered some sort of acute mental anguish and threw up on the spot.

                                            >The other mares had similar, less severe reactions but the hats were not long for this world soon after.

                                            >So, now with it snowing outside, you were surrounded by your entourage of lovely individually unique mares that you couldn't tell apart in the slightest.

                                            >"Isn't today lovely Anon?"

                                            >One of them asks, looking up at you expectantly.

                                            "It sure is... Rarity?"

                                            >The mare's nose scrunches at your guess, her eyes narrowing.

                                            >"Twinkleshine, Anon."

                                            "R-Right of course Twinkleshine. I was just joking, ha ha."

                                            >"I didn't laugh."

                                            >Uh oh.

                                            "W-Well you know, guys aren't supposed to be funny, right?"

                                            >"Anonymous, who am I?" Another mare asks from behind you.

                                            >Turning around, you see another of your betrothed standing in the falling snow, mane and tail completely bleached.

                                            "Ah, my beloved, just as beautiful as the day we met."

                                            >Reaching to her face to cup it and hopefully dislodge some snow, the mare stops it with her magic.

                                            >"What is my name?"

                                            >Your mind raced as you tried to figure out who she was, the mare's eyes becoming steely the longer you took.

                                            >"Anonymous, you can plainly see I am several hooves taller than almost every other pony in existence."

                                            "Rrrright, of course Fleur, I knew it was-"

                                            >"I am over 'ere mon cheri."

                                            >Cringing, you look to the left to see two more white mares, one of which was actually Fleur.

                                            "Sorry Fleur I-"

                                            >"Which one of us are you talking to darling?"

                                            >The two mares stare at you expectantly, and when you don't immediately answer, one starts striking poses.

                                            >"Yes, which one iz ze gorgeous Fleur?"

                                            >"Listen to our Voices darling, which one has a Prench accent?"

                                            >Ah you had it now.

                                            >"Zere is no possible way to confuse ze magnifique modèle-"

                                            >Pointing to Fleur, the other mare stops dead in her tracks, frozen in a pose.

                                            >This only gets a facehoof from Fleur, who shakes her head.

                                            >"Anonymous I simply cannot believe you are this... dense."

                                            "Y-You're not Fleur?"

                                            >"Non elle n'est pas! Vous ne reconnaissez pas votre amoureux?!"

                                            >Not understanding, you move your hand so that it pointed at the yelling mare, who you now realize was probably actually Fleur.

                                            >Breaking out of her pose, the unicorn rounds on you and stomps her hoof into the snow.

                                            >"Avez-vous été bercé trop près du mur lorsque vous étiez poulain?!"

                                            >All you can do is smile weakly, yet another mare grabbing your attention.

                                            >"You're pretty bad at this dude."

                                            "Oh what do you know- uh..."

                                            >As you blank on her name, the mare raises an eyebrow.

                                            >"Colt, I'm like, the only pony with red eyes, c'mon."

                                            >"Pretty sure those are contacts sis, or magic. I thought being edgy was Moonlight's thing." Another unicorn says.

                                            >"I'm not edgy, you just don't understand the inner complexities of my soul."

                                            >This was the first time you regretted having so many marefriends.

                                            >"They're natural shut up Cayenne." The mare pouts, balling up some snow with her magic and throwing it at the other unicorn.

                                            >"AH!"

                                            >"Anyway, hey DARLING, who am I huh?"

                                            >Smirking, the unicorn looks up at you, seeming to already know your answer.

                                            "Oh, thanks for the hint, Rarity."

                                            >"ENHHHH WRONG! Heheh." The mare says, doing her best impression of a buzzer.

                                            >"Don't confuse him further Vinyl, that's not helping."

                                            >"Okay stand back fillies, there's no way he'd guess me wrong, watch this Anon."

                                            >Yet another mare stands before you, well, for a moment before she bends backward until her head pushes through her rear legs.

                                            >"Betcha remember THIS pose huh?"

                                            "..."

                                            >"...Are you serious? Wha- I'm the only pegasus in the herd ANON!"

                                            "Rrrrredh-"

                                            >"Don't you bucking DARE say Redheart!"

                                            >Un-pretzeling herself, the mare angrily flaps her wings.

                                            >"Blossomforth you dolt!"

                                            "Oh right."

                                            >Grinding her teeth together, the other mares just look at each other.

                                            >"He's never gonna guess right is he?"

                                            >"No, I simply cannot believe he is incapable of distinguishing us just because of a little snow."

                                            >Marching up to you, the mare looks determined as she presents her side to you.

                                            >"Anonymous, I want you to look at me, you MUST recognize my poise and posture, no?"

                                            "Uhh..."

                                            >"Oh for the love of- Look at my cutiemark!"

                                            >Squinting at her flank, the mare quickly gets impatient as she grabs your head with magic and pulls it to her butt.

                                            >"DIAMONDS!"

                                            "I don't know!"

                                            >"RRRAAHHH!"

                                            "Look, none of this would be happening if you just wore the hats!"

                                            >"I'D RATHER DIE DARLING!"

                                            >The magic on your head became crushing as the unicorn began to lose it, making you try to pull away.

                                            >Seeing you needed help, another one of your white marefriends gets between the two of you and breaks the spell.

                                            >"Thanks Vinyl, Raven was about to pop my head like a grape."

                                            >"Wow, double foul dude." Comes from your right.

                                            >"That was Rarity Anon, I'm Raven, glasses see?"

                                            >Raven levitates her glasses up to show them off, with Rarity glaring at you from behind her.

                                            "What? Raven Raven or Moonlight Raven? Anyway Vinyl has glasses too! And I thought that was Rarity?" You say pointing to another mare.

                                            >"You did not just compare me to- Anon that's a snowmare!"

                                            >As if to prove her point, the snowmare's head rolled off and splatted into the rest of the snow at its hooves.

                                            >Celestia, what is the punishment for MURDERING a colt?

                                            >"Execution. However I believe you have a strong case for life in the dungeons instead."

                                            >"What is the decor like?"

                                            >"Drab."

                                            >Breathing in deeply, the unicorn tries to regain her composure.

                                            >"Heh, I'm lovin this, you're lucky you got a hot bod colt."

                                            >"This is starting to concern me."

                                            >Another pale candidate trots up to you and makes sure you were paying attention to her.

                                            >"Okay Anon, this is serious, I need you to look at me, what do I not have that all the others do?"

                                            >Motioning to her head and then her back exaggeratedly, she does this several times.

                                            >Thinking what she meant, you give your best guess.

                                            "Celestia."

                                            >"REDHEART you himbo! She doesn't have a horn OR wings! Celestia has BOTH!" Says another mare.

                                            >Looking at you like she would at terminal patient, Redheart takes out a notepad.

                                            >"Anon, I'm a nurse and genuinely concerned you are acutely visually impaired or mentally retarded."

                                            "Ouch."

                                            >Putting a pencil in her mouth, Redheart starts scribbling down some notes.

                                            "Okay so if not hats then what, socks?"

                                            >"In public?!"

                                            >"I wouldn't mind..."

                                            >"Gaaaaay."

                                            "Then scarves? Bows? ...Buttplugs?"

                                            >"That's pretty hot."

                                            >"Naughty."

                                            >"Can you really not tell us apart Anon? I mean, we're not even all the same shade of white."

                                            "No I mean..."

                                            >Crossing your arms, you try to think of a way to identify them, there had to be something.

                                            >"Care to try again, love?"

                                            >Looking at the mare in front of you, she gives you a small, slightly worried smile.

                                            >Think Anon, if you can't tell them apart visually then..."

                                            "I got it."

                                            >Grabbing the mare in front of you, you kneel down and feel around her rump.

                                            >"Oh!"

                                            "Big teats, HUGE ass. Could only be my princess Celly."

                                            >Looking over her shoulder at you, a smile grows on Celestia's blushing face as she nods happily.

                                            >"Correct."

                                            >Encouraged, you grab the next mare.

                                            >"Sacré bleu! Qu'est-ce que tu touches? Oh là là!"

                                            "Small teats, lithe legs and ass. Bonjour Fleur.

                                            >"Oui, bonjour Anonymous, you finally recognize moi."

                                            "Could never forget."

                                            >Smiling, Fleur rests her head on top of yours a moment before you move to the next mare.

                                            "Average ass and flat teats. Hmm, Blossomforth."

                                            >Bending backwards, Blossomforth gets face to face with you, her head upside down.

                                            >"And y'know, just another little thing called WINGS Anon?"

                                            "And wings."

                                            >Looking for another mare, when you go to grab one she shies away from you.

                                            >"No, no, not in public dear thank you."

                                            >"Hah, I knew you were gay all along."

                                            >"J-Just because I prefer not to be GROPED in public does- does not make me attracted to the same sex!"

                                            "I donno, the way you dress and constantly complain like a colt kinda says otherwise."

                                            >"I have noticed she does get a little amorous around mares."

                                            >"F-Fine! Anonymous you may... do what you need to do."

                                            >Reaching under the mare, you inspect her goods.

                                            >"O-Ohh~"

                                            "Nice sized teats, soft fur and ass, you take good care of your skin Rarity."

                                            >"I try dear."

                                            >Trotting away with her head held high, anther unicorn takes her place.

                                            "Smaller butt and big teats, Must be my big teaty goth marefriend, Moonlight Raven."

                                            >"Our souls touched in the darkness, despair wished it could know such a feeling."

                                            "...Right, my soul uh, yearns for the blackness of the cosmos?"

                                            >"Cool."

                                            >"Okay, go be artistically depressed somewhere else Moonlight, my turn."

                                            >Pushing Moonlight out of the way, a new mare stands before you.

                                            >Touching her body, she sucks in a breath of air.

                                            >"Could've warmed your hands up more, it's not exactly hot out today..."

                                            "Warm teats and a butt like an oven, gotta be my spicy mare Cayenne."

                                            >That's right, I'll keep you warm all winter long baby."

                                            >Giving you a wink, Cayenne sashays away.

                                            >The next mare all but shoves her plot into your hands, eager to be identified.

                                            >"Mmmh good start to a Tuesday morning."

                                            "Big big ass, same with teats, how do you not kick these things when you walk Vinyl?"

                                            >"If you think that's bad, I gotta rub the feeling back into my nips sometimes when the snow gets too deep."

                                            "You should get a bra."

                                            >"What, like a ballbra for my teats? You tryin to turn me into a colty mare like Rarity? No thanks, I like dick."

                                            "So you'd rather have frozen nipples."

                                            >"Dude, you got a fetish for colty mares or something? First it was socks and now teatbras."

                                            "Honestly, seeing you in full lingerie would be really hot yeah."

                                            >"Oh Celestia yes! I have a few sets already and I'd love to make more for everypony!"

                                            >"W-Whoa calm down Rarity, you just flashed everypony the goods with that tail flag."

                                            >"P-Pardon me."

                                            >"Haha, look how red her face is, even Anon could tell who she is now."

                                            >You could, but you didn't want to contribute to Rarity's bullying.

                                            >"Now now, be nice my little pony, Anon's waiting."

                                            >"Can't believe this is how he can tell us apart, nnngh, I think it's just an excuse for the big nympho to grope us."

                                            "Good butt size with small teats, yes, it is lovely today Twinkleshine."

                                            >"Not that I'm complaining though."

                                            >Done with Twinkleshine, you reach over to another mare.

                                            >"Anon that's-"

                                            "Cold ass and wet teats, ...snowpony."

                                            >"Did he just molest some foal's snowpony?"

                                            >"I believe so."

                                            >"Stop him if he tries to add another carrot to it."

                                            "ANYWAY."

                                            >Grabbing another mare that fortunately wasn't made of snow, the unicorn spasms in your arms.

                                            >"EEP C-COLD ANON!"

                                            "Oh right."

                                            >Letting her go, you quickly warm your hands back up, the snow having chilled them.

                                            "Okay let's try that again, hmm, medium teats, small butt, sorry about that Raven, didn't mean to shock you like that."

                                            >"I-It's alright Anon, to be honest it was a better wake up than the black tea I had this morning."

                                            >Raven rubs at her cold teats to heat them up as you let her go, the last pony taking her spot.

                                            "One left."

                                            >"And by the process of elimination you should know who I am."

                                            "Maybe, but it seems like you still want me to be sure."

                                            >"Well am I a red blooded Equestrian mare or not Anon?"

                                            "Handfull sized teats, big ol' earthpony ass, can't get more equestrian than that Redheart."

                                            >"Glad you agree."

                                            "Okay that's every-"

                                            >"Hey you missed me!"

                                            "Oh, must've counted wrong, whoops."

                                            "Let's see here, big wobbly butt, huge teats for your size, kinda like... Vinyl again."

                                            >"Nnf, heh, just making sure."

                                            >"Are you done Vinyl?"

                                            >"Nah, I could go for a third time."

                                            >The DJ is quickly yanked away from you, much to her displeasure.

                                            >"Alright now that that's done and over with, why don't we actually get some Hearth's Warming shopping done today, hmm?"

                                            >"Anonymous you can pair up with Raven and Fleur, Vinyl you're with Redheart and Cayenne, Celestia you can partner with me and- Anonymous?"

                                            >Looking at you expectantly, the mare's eyes soon dim as she realizes why you haven't moved.

                                            "...Which Raven?"

                                            >"Oh no..."

                                            >"Merde."

                                            >"Hahahah!"

                                            >"We should go buy some buttplugs."

                                            "I'm gonna need to feel you all up again."