Bird Pone Thread: Peep & Anon (Discontinued)


                                            >"Would you like to see the bird pony migration with me?"

                                            >No, no you wouldn't.

                                            "Sure."

                                            >But of course you're too much of a doormat yourself to say that to her.

                                            >She brightens up.

                                            >"Wonderful! I'll get everything ready! Oh, this is so exciting!"

                                            >You smile and nod.

                                            >You were pretty damn sure it wouldn't be.

                                            >Fluttershy squeaks and runs upstairs, leaving you alone in the first floor of her home.

                                            >And here you thought you were just going to have a casual breakfast today.

                                            >And though Fluttershy was pretty cool, you usually just came for the free food.

                                            >Even though Celestia sent your ass to Twilight to be "preserved," to her, it didn't necessarily mean regular meals.

                                            >Even though it fucking should.

                                            >You sigh and walk over to the couch.

                                            >Angel instinctively starts trying to kick your shit.

                                            >You grab him and put him on the highest birdhouse you see, then resume lounging.

                                            >He freaks out and starts squeaking.

                                            >You bust out that Walkman and plug your shit in.

                                            >You never really used the shit, but after Twilight blew up your fucking phone and laptop, it was the only thing you had to ignore ponies with.

                                            >It was also now the only thing you had from Earth.

                                            >You raise the volume and stare blankly at Angel flailing around everywhere, focused more on your memories of home.

                                            >You close your eyes and relax.

                                            >

                                            >"I'm ready!"

                                            "..."

                                            >"Anon, I'm ready!"

                                            "..."

                                            >"Anon, a-are you alright?"

                                            "..."

                                            >"A-Angel, what's wrong with Anon?! And why are you up there?!"

                                            >She flocks to your side.

                                            >"Anon! Are you breathing- I don't think he's breathing!! ANON!"

                                            >She shakes you.

                                            >You lazily open your eyes and yawn, then turn everything off.

                                            "Jeez, how long was I out? So, you ready, then?"

                                            >She looks confused and frightened.

                                            >Her eyes are all watery.

                                            "Uuh, something wrong?"


                                            >

                                            >Well, here you are.

                                            >Bird pony migration.

                                            >Still no idea what the fuck a bird pony is, but Fluttershy talked about how amazing they were on the walk over here.

                                            >She set down a picnic blanket on top of a hill and put her binoculars on.

                                            >"It should be any second now! We came just in time!"

                                            "I didn't come anywhere, what are you talking about?"

                                            >She ignores you, either out of excitement, or because she had no idea what you just said.

                                            >She continues staring.

                                            >"Oh my gosh, there they are! I was right!"

                                            >You stare at the area she was pointing at.

                                            >You see a Pegasus fly out.

                                            >Then another.

                                            >Then a bunch.

                                            >Was this some sort of fucking joke or something?

                                            >And if those Pegasi were migrating, why the hell wasn't she?

                                            >Hell, you didn't even KNOW Pegasi migrated.

                                            "Is Twilight migrating, too? You know, being half and half?"

                                            >Fluttershy turns from her binoculars and looks at you like you're a fucking retard.

                                            >"Twilight's not a bird pony!"

                                            "What about Rainbow?"

                                            >[Pitiful horse noises intensify]

                                            >"Rainbow's not one, either, Anon."

                                            "What do you mean she's not? She's a Pegasus, and those are Pegasi! And why aren't YOU migrating if this is a thing?"

                                            >"...Those aren't Pegasi, Anon."

                                            >You stare at them for a moment.

                                            >Those were fucking Pegasi.

                                            "Yes they ARE! Fucking LOOK at them!"

                                            >She flinches, then develops a stern look.

                                            >"Don't be so loud! You'll scare them!"

                                            "BUT THEY'RE JUST FUCKING PEGASI-"

                                            >"SHH! Watch."

                                            >You cross your arms and huff, watching Fluttershy fish around her bag.

                                            >You swear, this was worse than trying to fucking prove that human technology wasn't a lie to Twilight.

                                            >In fact, that's how you lost laptop and phone.

                                            >...Purple bitch.

                                            >Flutterbutter pulls out a small container and empties its contents a little ways in front of you both.

                                            >Breadcrumbs?

                                            >What the fuck kind of Pegasi would come down for a fucking-

                                            >Three of them drop down and start eating the crumbs.

                                            >Fluttershy stifles a cheer and busts out her camera.


                                            >One Pegasus was black, with a red mane and a white pattern on her head and wings.

                                            >Another was a light blue, with white and orange on her bottom half, and an even lighter blue mane.

                                            >The third had a dark blue mane with a few black and white areas, and a coat similar to Rainbow's.

                                            >They practically destroy the crumbs and fly off.

                                            >Fluttershy gasps and watches them in awe, before turning to a grey Pegasus getting ready to land next to us.

                                            >"Oh my gosh, here comes another one!"

                                            >She puts a slice of bread in your hand.

                                            >"Feed her!"

                                            >The grey Pegasus lands.

                                            >She looks around at the grass for crumbs.

                                            >Then she turns to you.

                                            >Her head tilts to the side.

                                            >She stares at the bread in your hand.

                                            "You, uh, want it?"

                                            >The Pegasus doesn't respond.

                                            >You tear the bread in half and hold it out to her.

                                            >She slowly walks over to you and takes it.

                                            >She throws her head back and swallows it.

                                            >...Just like a bird would.

                                            >You tear a smaller piece and hold it in your hand.

                                            >Meanwhile, Fluttershy spots a colorful Pegasus and turns away from you, snapping away.

                                            >The Pegasus gets a bit closer to you, then pecks at the crumb.

                                            >...Well, the closest thing to pecking you can get with a muzzle.

                                            >She coos.

                                            >You pause.

                                            >She literally COOed.

                                            >Like, PIGEON COO.

                                            "The fuck?"


                                            >She backs away a bit and watches you.

                                            >"Anon! Don't be mean!"

                                            >You turn back to her.

                                            >You hold out another crumb.

                                            >She pecks it.

                                            "You are the weirdest Pegasus I've ever met..."

                                            >"It's not a Pegasus, Anon!"

                                            "-Oh whatever."

                                            >Then the pony flies away.

                                            "...Well that was fucking weird."

                                            >

                                            >Finally after taking thousands of goddamn pictures, Fluttershy was ready to leave.

                                            >You wrapped the picnic blanket up and started following Fluttershy down the hill.

                                            >Luckily, the migration thing was only about an hour.

                                            >Not nearly as gay and boring as the butterfly migration, that's for sure.

                                            >You take a few steps, then hear a coo.

                                            >A pigeon coo.

                                            >You slowly turn around.

                                            >That bird pony thing is standing there, staring at you.

                                            "Uuh..."

                                            >You fish into your pocket and throw the bread you had left at her hooves.

                                            >She looks down at it and starts eating.

                                            >Weird ass thing...

                                            >

                                            >The walk to Flutter's house was short and uneventful.

                                            >Soon, you found yourself lying on her couch again, while she made some tea for you both.

                                            >You once again bust out your shitty Walkman and listen to them sick Earth tunes.

                                            >Then you feel something staring at you.

                                            >You pause for a moment, then turn, expecting to see Angel glaring at you like a bitch.

                                            >Instead, it's the bird pony.

                                            "HOLY FUCK!!"

                                            >You fall off the couch and on your face.

                                            >Fluttershy comes running out.

                                            >"WHAT? WHAT'S WRONG, ANON?"

                                            >You merely point at the window.

                                            >She runs over to it and looks at it.

                                            >"Umm, what's wrong with it?"

                                            >You stand up and turn to the window.

                                            >Nothing.

                                            >...How the hell?


                                            "Th-there, b-but..."

                                            >"Are you feeling okay?"

                                            "I'm fine! I, I just... I don't know..."

                                            >Your eyes linger on the window.

                                            >

                                            >After tea with Fluttershy, you were finally on your way back home.

                                            >Throughout the entire walk, you couldn't shake the feeling of being watched, though.

                                            >You tried casually glancing around, as to avoid any comments or panic from the ponies.

                                            >The last time you talked about Freddy Krueger, the entire town went apeshit.

                                            >You didn't want anything like that again.

                                            >Though the attention from all the mares in town was not unwelcome.

                                            >You practically sprint into your home when you spot it.

                                            >You lock the shit out of it and close all the blinds.

                                            >Immediately you walk into your room and lie on your bed.

                                            >And, immediately, you hear a tap on your window.

                                            >You turn to the side.

                                            >It's the pigeon pony.

                                            >"...Coo."

                                            "-AAAAAHHH!"

                                            >You struggle and fall off your bed, wrapped all up in sheets.

                                            >You try to crawl into the other room unnoticed.

                                            >"Coo!"

                                            >Your throat becomes dry.

                                            >Your heart starts pounding.

                                            >Your breathing is labored.

                                            >...Then you realize it's just a bird at your window.

                                            >You groan and stand up.

                                            >The pony's just sitting.

                                            >After glaring at her for a moment, you finally walk up to window and tap on it, trying to scare her.

                                            >You knew you wouldn't be able to sleep with her just sitting there.

                                            >But she doesn't move.

                                            >Instead, her muzzle begins following your hand.

                                            >She licks the window.

                                            "Ew, don't do that! Stop!"

                                            >She coos.

                                            >You sigh and open the window up.

                                            "Will you just fly away alrea-"

                                            >She tears through the screen and lands on your bed.


                                            "H-hey! Get off the bed!"

                                            >She coos and gets comfortable on your bed.

                                            >And by comfortable, you mean she starts making some makeshift nest out of your pillows and blankets.

                                            >You can just imagine what she's done outside.

                                            "Oh my god, can you at least fucking shower?"

                                            >She cocks her head and coos.

                                            "No, not 'coo'. SH-OW-ER."

                                            >She coos.

                                            "Jesus Christ."

                                            >You walk up and pick her up.

                                            >She doesn't struggle in the slightest.

                                            >It's like she's already used to you.

                                            >Just as you turn to throw her out of your house, she starts nuzzling your neck.

                                            >She coos again.

                                            >But it almost sounds... happy.

                                            >Damn you and your doormat-y ways, Anon.

                                            >You walk instead into your bathroom and place her gently on the ground.

                                            >She takes some nearby towels and starts making a nest.

                                            "N-no! I just washed those!"

                                            >She stops and looks at you.

                                            >You gently wiggle your finger before her.

                                            "Nooo towel nest. Bad bird thingy."

                                            >She makes a small peep.

                                            "That's right, no towel nest shit!"

                                            >She peeps again.

                                            >"Good, peeping pigeon pony...thing."

                                            >You start up the tub with some warm water and watch it fill up.

                                            >She comes by and rests her front hooves on the rim of it, watching in awe.

                                            >You get a pretty good look of her-

                                            >-MOVING ON.

                                            >But those are DEFINITELY not bird-parts.


                                            >When the tub is finally filled fairly well, you shut the valve.

                                            >She chirps, then starts pawing at it.

                                            "Nope, no more water."

                                            >She looks up at you and coos.

                                            "Noooo wah-terr."

                                            >She peeps.

                                            "Okay, now you need to wash yourself in here."

                                            >You point at the tub.

                                            "You get in, IN the tub."

                                            >You do a little diving motion.

                                            "Then you wash!"

                                            >You dip your hand in the water and splash a little bit.

                                            >She peeps, and you slowly lift and place her in the water.

                                            >Immediately, she unfurls her wings and starts splashing everywhere.

                                            >You forgot how birds cleaned themselves.

                                            >And this pony pretty much WAS a bird already.

                                            >She dips her head in and ruffles her feathers in the tub.

                                            >Water splashes out and hits you in the face.

                                            "-ACK! NO! NO, STOP IT!"

                                            >She pauses and coos at you.

                                            "Don't bathe like that! Not here! Just- ugh, stay still."

                                            >She peeps, letting you grab the loofah and body washing stuff for her.

                                            >You squirt a good amount onto it, then lather the shit out of it.

                                            >She watches you attentively.

                                            >Once it's up to your standards, you bring it over to her.

                                            "Alrighty, just hold still."

                                            >You slowly reach it over to her back and start there.

                                            >She flinches, then calms down.

                                            >You gently begin rubbing her coat.


                                            >She peeps and looks at you while you do.

                                            >You start cleaning her chest when you're done.

                                            >Her eyes follow the loofah the majority of the time.

                                            >You take off your socks and shit and roll up your pant legs before sitting beside the tub.

                                            >You finish cleaning her chest, then pick up a front hoof and put it on your lap to scrub it down.

                                            >She chirps as you do.

                                            >Only a few hours maybe, and this pony was already growing on you.

                                            >You finish one hoof and move to the other.

                                            >She lifts it up and places it on your lap without you even needing to do anything.

                                            "Wow. Quick learner."

                                            >Maybe this pony ACTS like a bird, but doesn't have the knowledge of one?

                                            >What if it was only a language barrier between you two?

                                            >You dwell on the thought as you finish her hooves.

                                            >The next step for you would be her wittle pony tummy.

                                            >...Did you just fucking say that?

                                            >You shake the thought, then pick her up fireman style.

                                            >You gently set her in the tub and reach over to scrub her, but she slides down from your grasp.

                                            >You move her up again, and the same thing happens.

                                            >She's any lower, it'll be a bitch to comfortably scrub her down, and if the water's any lower, there won't be any.

                                            >You think for a moment, then pick her up again and set her in your lap.

                                            >It gets some water on your pants.

                                            >You set her back down and instinctively remove them.

                                            >Then you realize that there's a female literally right next to you.

                                            >THEN you realize that she probably doesn't even understand there being anything wrong with you having your pants off.

                                            >You fold them and get back into the tub, then put the pony in your lap again.

                                            >And technically, this pony was a wild animal.

                                            >Though, the way she easily let you pick her up and scrub her down said otherwise.

                                            >An interesting one, for sure.

                                            >You start washing her stomach.

                                            >She chirps a lot during.

                                            >You keep trying to avert your eyes from her horse parts meanwhile, but it begins to get really difficult.

                                            >Then you finish.

                                            >And you've only got one more place to clean...


                                            >Her hindquarters...

                                            >O-oh boy...

                                            >You start by gently washing the bottom of her hind legs.

                                            >You try not to think about getting kicked in the face.

                                            >It's difficult, but soon enough, you finish them both.

                                            >You move the loofah over to her rump and slowly start with circles.

                                            >She chirps.

                                            >It's a bit lower pitched.

                                            >Then you slowly move downwards to... there...

                                            >She stifles another chirp.

                                            >She's still in your lap the whole time.

                                            >You think you see her face getting red.

                                            >A leg twitches.

                                            >You feel yourself pitching a small tent.

                                            >You try to will it down, but it's no use.

                                            >It's still standing.

                                            >You start slowly running circles around the spot.

                                            >She slightly grinds into you.

                                            >Smart or not, this pony knew what she wanted.

                                            >And you were fighting back supplying her with it.

                                            >Taking advantage of a wild pony like this...

                                            >It wouldn't go down very well with you.

                                            >You start brushing up and down.

                                            >She chirps.

                                            >Her face is definitely red.

                                            >You finish with the circles and stop.

                                            >She just looks at you with pleading eyes.

                                            >Then she actually gets up and sits on you.

                                            >She's extremely close to the danger zone.

                                            >She clings to your neck and chirps again.

                                            >Okay, there was no way she was just 'a wild animal' now.

                                            >You reach for your boxers, then stop.

                                            >She stares at your hand.

                                            >You still shouldn't do this.

                                            >You shouldn't.

                                            >She looks disappointed.

                                            "Maybe when you're actually able to TALK to me, yeah?


                                            >You place her back in the tub and grab the shampoo.

                                            >You were gonna need a really fucking cold shower after this.

                                            >

                                            "There ya go, all squeaky clean and dry!"

                                            >She chirps, and... smiles?

                                            >Sweet Satan, this proves tha-

                                            >Well, you've seen dogs look happy before.

                                            >But they ARE intelligent.

                                            >Just, you know, not human level intelligent.

                                            >But you could probably teach her a few things.

                                            >You look over at a clock.

                                            >Time to fucking SLEEP!

                                            >Your favorite time of day.

                                            >You throw the towel in your hamper and walk outside the bathroom.

                                            >She follows you into your room and hops in her nest.

                                            "Hey, I need a blanket too, you know!"

                                            >She tilts her head and chirps.

                                            >Damn.

                                            >You were hoping for some kind of miracle moment where she understood what you said.

                                            >You get on your bed and sigh.

                                            >She peers out from her nest and peeps.

                                            "Goodnight to you too."

                                            >She peeps again.

                                            "What?"

                                            >She pauses, then peeps again.

                                            "Yeah, well, goodnight then, I guess, PEEP."

                                            >She tilts her head and peeps.

                                            >

                                            >That was possibly the worst sleep you've ever had in your entire fucking life.

                                            >You peel your eyes open and see only grey.

                                            >The pony's lying on top of you.

                                            >She's breathing on your neck.

                                            >And drooling.

                                            >You can feel it all over you.

                                            "Ew, ew, oh god..."

                                            >You can only stay still as you feel her saliva crawling down you.

                                            >Then you feel something else.

                                            >...Oh god.

                                            >She's grinding you.

                                            >It's getting all over your pants.

                                            "Jesus Christ, I don't remember pigeons being so goddamn horny all the time!"

                                            >You try to slowly slip out from under her, but can't.

                                            >Not without waking her up, of course.

                                            >And the last time you woke a pony up, you got three books to the face.

                                            >Though, you DID use an air horn...

                                            >She tweets and gasps a little bit.

                                            >Your beautiful pants...


                                            >You feel Anon Jr. coming in uninvited.

                                            >And your pants are unzipped.

                                            >You know, it makes midnight pissing much easier.

                                            >But you're just glad you don't go commando.

                                            >Though, you're REALLY close to being, you know... IN there.

                                            >Well, you're actually ALREADY there, but your underwear's the only thing in the way.

                                            >It's also a bit tempting to just...

                                            >No, no, goddamn it, dick.

                                            >You've gone pony-less this long, you can go longer.

                                            >...Not the best choice of words.

                                            >Then you hear knocking at the door.

                                            >She starts lazily waking up.

                                            >HERE'S YOUR CHANCE!

                                            >You hop out from under her like a pro and zip them pant- actually, you should fucking change!

                                            >You leap into the closet and throw on them new pants.

                                            >It's good to buy in bulk sometimes.

                                            >You come out and see her all red and covering her parts with the sheets.

                                            >She peeps a few times, as if telling you somethi-

                                            >No, just bird talk.

                                            >No way that she's that smart...

                                            >-Fuck, right, door!

                                            >You leave her peeping and making bird sounds and head for the door.

                                            >It's Fluttershy.

                                            "Eey, Flutterbutter! What can I do ya for?"

                                            >"Would you like to see the rest of the bird pony migration with me?"

                                            "Oh, sure, yeah, I'll- wait,'rest'?"

                                            >She nods.

                                            >"Yesterday was the migrating of all the female bird ponies for a mate! Today, all the full families will take flight!"

                                            "Uh... m-mate?"

                                            >"Uh huh!"

                                            "W-wow, I'm really interested in that! So... can you tell me what the bird ponies usually do when they find a mate?"

                                            >"Well, depending on the species they're crossed after, they might do a dance, or nuzzle you, or-"

                                            "Nuzzle?"

                                            >She nods.

                                            "Y-you mean, like-"

                                            >You both hear a tweet.

                                            >Fluttershy pauses.

                                            >"Was... was that-"

                                            >She chirps.


                                            "...Woooaaah, my stomach is making some WEIRD sounds! I must be REALLY hungry, ah heh heh..."

                                            >"...Your stomach makes those noises when you're hungry?"

                                            "Pft, yeah, of course!... It's a human thing; you wouldn't get it."

                                            >Fluttershy just quizzically stares at you.

                                            "Yeeaah, heh, you know us humans, always-"

                                            >You hear another peep.

                                            >Then the pony in question flies on your shoulders.

                                            >She peeps again.

                                            >She rests her head on top of yours.

                                            "Fuck."

                                            >Fluttershy backs away a bit.

                                            >"Anon? W-why-"

                                            "I don't know, okay? She followed me home yesterday, and I kinda just kept her."

                                            >She blinks.

                                            >"J-just 'kept' her?"

                                            "Well, yeah, I mean, look at this face!"

                                            >You grab the pony from your shoulders and hold her under an arm, squeezing her cheeks.

                                            "Isn't she just adowable?"

                                            >She giggles.

                                            >Well, you think she does.

                                            >Flutterbutter's just staring at you.

                                            >"S-so, you're her MATE?"

                                            "Well, I dunno. Sure, she DID nuzzle me or whatever, and may've-"

                                            >"Bird ponies usually aren't that comfortable with regular ponies..."

                                            "What do you mean, 'comfortable'?"

                                            >You pick the pony up and hold her in your arms like a baby.

                                            >You rub her tummy with a hand.

                                            >You just couldn't resist that shit.

                                            >She looks so fluffy.

                                            >"Th-that. That's comfortable."

                                            >You look at the pony in your arms.

                                            "Hmm. Well, maybe she's a LITTLE comfortable with me."

                                            >"H-has she tried to... y-you know?"

                                            >You stare blankly at Fluttershy for a moment.

                                            >Then it clicked.

                                            "-OOOh, get in my pants? Yup, yup, plenty of that yesterday."

                                            >"A-and you DO k-know it's...THAT season for them, right?"

                                            >You continue rubbing with your hand while you think.

                                            "Well, shit, now I do. Isn't that the season where all the mares go crazy for dick and shit? Like when you came by my house almost everyday asking for me to-"

                                            >"-PLEASE d-don't talk about that..."

                                            "-Ey, just saying, I would've, if you weren't so goddamn ki-"

                                            >"-I GOTTA GO NOW!-"

                                            >She runs away.

                                            "...Kinky bitch."

                                            >You walk back inside.