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Tutankhanon's Curse [Momlestia / aunt Luna x Anon]

By OniiChansFables
Created: 2020-10-21 16:58:37
Expiry: Never
anonmomlestiacelestialuna

  1. Archives:
  2. https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30671052/#30687690
  3. https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30696169/#30699935
  4. https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30724737/#30726557
  5. https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30748327/#30755120
  6. https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30778023/#30788005
  7. https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/30876674/#30900380
  8. https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31488652/#31488974
  9. https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31500855/#31502026
  10. https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31529581/#31530865
  11. https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31665535/#31678826
  12. https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31682567/#31685279
  13. https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31708296/#31709373
  14. https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31729335/#31739121
  15. https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31749741/#31760036
  16. https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31830908/#31833062
  17. https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/31939992/#31943538
  18. https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/32006305/#32008918
  19. https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/32074204/#32088180
  20. https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/32224379/#32267723
  21. https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/32307689/#32315142
  22. https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/32427109/#32445218
  23. https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/33008692/#33034332
  24. https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/33227925/#33236695
  25. https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/33257030/#33267295
  26. https://desuarchive.org/mlp/thread/33302806/#33309235
  27. ----------------------------
  28.  
  29. >A series of thuds resound throughout your head, interrupting your slumber.
  30. >You're still tired, but feeling the scorching sunlight cooking the left side of your face convinces you to get up.
  31. "Ugh... come in."
  32. >You sigh, standing your naked body off the bed as three female servants walk in.
  33. >One is carrying a bucket of water, the second some garments, and the third a decorated case of ornaments.
  34. >The young women all prostrate themselves in front of you. "Good morning, your majesty."
  35. >Stepping into a depression in the floor, you close your eyes and look up, holding your arms out.
  36. "Good mor-bluurghh"
  37. >Your world is turned into a wet and blurry mess as the bucket is lowered over your face just as you opened your mouth.
  38. "HRRG..."
  39. >Coughing a couple of times as you regain your senses after the shower, the servants are looking worried at each other, no doubt scared for their lives.
  40. >You wave away their concerns, turning your dripping body towards them to continue the routine.
  41. >One of the servants steps forward to wrap some garments around your legs and your waist, allowing her an intimate view of your genitalia.
  42. >"Your majesty, if I may... your 'hanging gardens' are very seemly."
  43. >You resist the urge to roll your eyes at the blatant attempt to win back some favor after the earlier blunder, embarrassed for everyone involved.
  44. "Yes, I know."
  45. >You allow the third servant to silently decorate your upper body with an assortment of gold and jewelry, the symbols of your divine status.
  46. >This one seems cool enough, at least she doesn't speak unnecessarily. Perhaps she has a future in your court.
  47. "What's your name, servant?"
  48. >"A-ana, your highness..."
  49. >Noticing her shaky tone of voice, you nod with a reassuring smile.
  50. >You can't have your favorite servants thinking they're about to get thrown to the crocodiles, after all.
  51. "Is the queen-regent in the dining hall?"
  52. >"No, your majesty, just her highness the princess."
  53. >Donning your sandals, you gulp.
  54.  
  55. >Walking out of your quarters to the main palace gives you a great view of the outside courtyard.
  56. >Palm trees strewn all around, sand mixed with tall grass inbetween, and the low rumbling of the Great River fill your senses, along with the blazing Sun.
  57. >Servants are walking around, bowing as they notice you, as well as the occasional cat, who are much less concerned by your presence.
  58. >A loud meowing noise below you stops you in your tracks.
  59. >A pitch-black cat rubs its body against your foot, wailing incessantly.
  60. >Well, at least there's one cat who likes you.
  61. >Looking around to see if anyone's looking, you reach down to pet its head, which is all too accommodating.
  62. >You know this cat, and you know this cat knows your daily routine, but it still manages to weaken your heart, every time.
  63. >You continue your walk into the dining hall, allowing the cat to stroll along beside you.
  64. >Here you are, the god of your subjects, yourself subject to the whims of a mere animal looking for an easy meal.
  65. >Walking through the massive door to the dining hall, the guard loudly clangs the butt of his spear on the floor, startling the cat.
  66. >"His divine highness, Pharaoh Tutankhanon; Priest of Every Temple and Lord of the Two Lands."
  67. >The announcer having done his job, you and the perturbed cat walk towards the central table, where a certain princess sits waiting.
  68. "Morning, Aunt Luna."
  69. >Sitting down, you begin your feast, trying your hardest to not look across the table.
  70. >"Hey there, your majesty~"
  71. >Leaning forward, the princess flicks her radiant blue hair behind her shoulders, flashing you a view of her body through her transparent silk garments.
  72. >Taking a deep breath, you immediately look literally everywhere else, finally settling on the cat, who just jumped up on the table.
  73. "W-where is mother?"
  74. >"In the throne room, preparing for another one of your sessions. She should be here soon."
  75. >You gulp, taking a big sip of wine.
  76.  
  77. >You take another sip, chomping on some oxen meat.
  78. "Again..? We had one just yesterday."
  79. >She smiles mischievously, going through a bundle of grapes.
  80. >"And we will continue having them until his highness's hanging gardens see fit to rise."
  81. >You're going to need more of that wine.
  82. "This cannot possibly be *that* unusual, can it?"
  83. >"My dear nephew, at your age, your father was spending more time plowing your mother's fields than not."
  84. "B-but..!"
  85. >You lock eyes with the cat, thinking of some sort of retort that might get you out of this.
  86. "What's the rush? Unlike father, I have no sisters to marry."
  87. >Your father's early death had seen to that, leaving you an only child and the throne from a very young age.
  88. "And no cousins, either..."
  89. >"What was that..?"
  90. "N-nothing."
  91. >An awkward silence follows, mostly filled with chewing sounds.
  92. >"Well, were this morning's servants to your liking? I picked them out myself."
  93. "That was you?"
  94. >You noticed they'd gotten younger and less male recently.
  95. >"Any one of them in particular, or do you prefer the company of cats?"
  96. >Very funny.
  97. >You actually did take a liking to that last one, but would anything good come of telling your aunt?
  98. "Err... the one with the jewelry..."
  99. >"Yes..?"
  100. "...had a nice, uhh..."
  101. >You recoil as your aunt leans further over, looking disturbingly excited.
  102. "...p-pair... yeah."
  103. >"A pair of what?"
  104. >Her smirk widens, knowing that you know that she knows exactly what you meant.
  105. >"Feet? Nostrils?"
  106. >No, nothing good at all. You should've known.
  107. >Taking another big sip of wine, you narrowly avoid dousing your aunt in it as a hand finds your shoulder from behind.
  108. >"Don't drink too much of that, Anon."
  109. "M-mother!"
  110. >Your relief is short-lived, remembering why she's here.
  111. >Your mother waves you over, prompting you to stand up, straight into a loving hug.
  112. >"Come now, they are waiting for you in the throne room."
  113. >Your aunt stands up as well, clearly intending to watch.
  114. "R-right..."
  115.  
  116. >Walking deeper into the complex, you eventually delve past the reach of daylight, relying on torches on the walls for light.
  117. "Mother, did I mishear, or did you say 'they'?"
  118. >"I did."
  119. >Adjusting her robes to sidestep a rock, your mother allows you to catch up, patting you on the head.
  120. >"The family elected to send a pair of sisters, as they are close in age."
  121. "Wait, so, will they... at the same time..?"
  122. >Your aunt breaks into an amused giggle behind you.
  123. >"Heh, this should be interesting..."
  124. >Damn it all, does she not have better things to do?
  125. >You reach a large door decorated with centuries-old engravings, telling stories of past events that took place inside this ritual room.
  126. >"Not to worry, my dear Anon. Your safety is guaranteed at all times."
  127. >As if that's your concern.
  128. >You're more worried that the tales of your impotence will end up engraved on the very door you're facing.
  129. >But your mother had already made your predicament highly public, so how much worse could this get?
  130. >A pair of guards push the massive door open, allowing you to walk past.
  131. >The room buried deep underground, the air is cool and damp, lit by a central fire along with some burning torches along the walls.
  132. >Walking near the center where a large chair stands waiting, you attempt to look as regal and authoritative as possible in front of the audience as you sit down.
  133. >Though the audience in this case is meant to be you, the pressure of rule is ever-present in any venue.
  134. >Two young girls, not much older than you, stand hardly clothed in your view, wearing only light silk garments along with some jewelry.
  135. >Having fair skin as well as long, jet-black hair, you notice they carry themselves well, perhaps the result of their noble upbringing or their beauty.
  136. >Or both, probably.
  137. >Regardless, they're almost certainly going to leave disappointed.
  138. >You've gone through this often enough already to know that this isn't going to work, but your mother insists that you keep trying.
  139.  
  140. >"*Ahem*, to reiterate..."
  141. >Your mother clears her throat, standing tall over you.
  142. >"As stated in the royal decree, whoever is first to awaken the young pharaoh's desires will receive the honor of being his first concubine."
  143. >You really wish she didn't have to read this aloud every single time. You can sense your aunt behind you, snickering at the scene.
  144. >"You will both share that honor, should you succeed. Any method is permitted, but..."
  145. >Here it comes, the one part you can't get used to.
  146. >"...be mindful that touching your pharaoh is an act of desecration. Do so, and this room will be your tomb."
  147. >The confidence melts off their faces really quickly.
  148. >It was bad enough that your mother released this humiliating decree to the entire populace, but this is on another level of callousness.
  149. >The girls sent to test their luck always assume they'll be given an exception to the no-touching rule, only for your mother to threateningly reinforce it right in their faces.
  150. >Not exactly the optimal environment for an erotic performance.
  151. >You're about to allow their execution in the event of a misstep, but overruling your regent is an uncomfortable prospect to say the least.
  152. >Luna walks forward and leans on the other side of the chair, resting a hand on her chin with an amused grin on her face.
  153. >"No pressure."
  154. >Through monumental effort of your own and probably some divine assistance, your face only betrays a single twitch of your eye, while your insides are filled with despair.
  155. >The only reason you put up with this is because of the stories you've heard from after your father's premature death.
  156. >Apparently having a toddler ascend to the throne was a recipe for unrest.
  157. >And apparently your mother's leadership, young as she was herself, was the reason you lived through those turbulent times, so you're more inclined to trust her than not.
  158. >"You may begin."
  159. >The duo nervously exchanges looks, before stepping forward.
  160.  
  161. >They start with a coordinated belly-dance, reminding you of the other reason you put up with this.
  162. >Once the show starts, the unfortunate context of the situation always seems to diminish in importance for the time being.
  163. >There's no denying the funny feeling in your stomach once you notice their hands caressing each other in their wild dance, at least.
  164. >Your trance is broken by your mother's head invading your periphery, leaning down to stare at your bare crotch, her rack brushing your shoulder.
  165. >Stealing a quick glance to your other side, aunt Luna seems to be enjoying the show more than you.
  166. >Your eyes falling to her chest before returning to the duo, you imagine her in that dancing outfit, and that weird feeling returns in full force.
  167. >Worse yet, you briefly mentally substitute the two girls for the women by your side, and suddenly your breathing hastens.
  168. >All the signs of the coming of age are present in this moment, as described in detail by your tutors, but still, the last piece of the puzzle is missing.
  169. >Your damn gardens simply keep hanging.
  170. >Cold sweat starts forming as a frightening thought hits you.
  171. >Could this be a curse? Is your kingdom doomed to an era of strife because the gods saw fit to render you impotent?
  172. >You gulp, suddenly finding it difficult to focus on anything.
  173. >Hands forming fists, your eyes begin darting around the room.
  174. >Maybe you should just name some distant cousin as your heir and throw yourself into the river.
  175. >"Alright, enough."
  176. >Your aunt's voice resounds throughout the room, surprising everyone in it.
  177. >You most of all, upon seeing the serious look on her face.
  178. >"Guards, escort these harlots back to their carriage and dismiss yourselves."
  179. >Your mother raises her hand in protest, speechless at the intrusion.
  180. >"Luna, what are you..?" She pauses, reading the atmosphere.
  181. >Resigning herself to the order with a sigh, the guards are waved away, leaving the three of you alone in the room.
  182.  
  183. >"It was working! I saw it twitch!"
  184. >"Are you sure you didn't tug at it yourself by sheer force of will?"
  185. >You shrink back into your chair, not wanting any part of this argument.
  186. >"You are being ridiculous."
  187. >"Speak for yourself, Tia. If you stared less at his tool and more at his face, you would notice that this farce is a drain on his faculties."
  188. >Your mother pauses. Having no response, she looks to you.
  189. >Seeing you cowering at the scene apparently strikes a chord with her, if her surprised gape is anything to go by.
  190. >"Anon..?"
  191. >You don't really feel like affirming Luna's point with a nod, so you simply avert your gaze.
  192. >But apparently that's confirmation enough for her, as she drops to her knees and pulls you into a bone-shattering embrace.
  193. >"I-I'm sorry... I didn't notice..."
  194. >Squeezing you tighter, you suddenly become very conscious of the mounds of flesh pushing against your chest.
  195. "Hrrnnghh... is... -kay..."
  196. >Still locked within your mothers embrace, your aunt approaches and lays a hand on your head, smiling guiltily.
  197. >"As am I, I suppose. I could probably have fixed this myself long ago, this whole thing was just too amusing."
  198. >Your mother stands back up, releasing your breathless body back into the chair.
  199. >"What? How?"
  200. >Luna giggles, back to her more mirthful self.
  201. >"Like I said, just observe where his gaze tends towards, and the answer becomes obvious."
  202. >You both pause, not seeing any supposedly obvious answer.
  203. >"Well..? What is it?"
  204. >Your aunt's grin begins exposing teeth as she walks towards her sister, reaching out her hands to move the multi-hued hair behind the perplexed woman's shoulders.
  205. >Surprised by the sudden invasion of her personal space, your mother warily backs away, only for your aunt to grab her by the wrists to close the space between them.
  206. >"W-wait, Luna, what are you-"
  207. >"Don't fight back, I don't think he's into that."
  208. >Their faces move closer as you sit further on the edge of the seat, not believing your eyes.
  209.  
  210. >The sounds of their breathing are cut off as their lips make contact, replaced by muffled moaning noises from your mother.
  211. >Taking a step back to gain balance, your mother's eyes are open in shock.
  212. >Every one of her attempts to move back are met by an equivalent move forward, not allowing for any kind of retreat.
  213. >You can see you mother's hands attempting to flail around, only to be held down in submission.
  214. >Luna's forcefulness seems to break through her sister's defenses with remarkable ease, allowing the invasion to probe deeper.
  215. >Your aunt continues with a fervour you can only describe as cannibalistic, as she appears to be attempting to eat your mother's face.
  216. >Not knowing if the continued moaning is coming from a place of desperation or pleasure, the idea of stopping this display crosses your mind.
  217. >A hundred different instincts overwhelm you all at once to protest the thought, telling you instead to keep watching.
  218. >A couple of seconds pass and Luna finally pulls back, several strands of saliva connecting their still open mouths.
  219. >The sounds of heavy breathing fill the room, not least from yourself, images of the scene freshly burned into your memory.
  220. >Your mother steps away with a heavy blush, her composure completely shattered.
  221. >"L-luna..."
  222. >Not used to this kind of indignation, your mother looks a mixture of upset and confused.
  223. >"D-dungeon. Now."
  224. >Your aunt responds by pointing at you with a triumphant grin, much to your initial confusion, until you see the exact spot she's pointing at.
  225. >Your eyes wide as saucers, you didn't recognize this odd sensation amongst all the other ones flooding your head until now.
  226. >It's completely stiff. Arisen. Hanging no more.
  227. >Suddenly the metaphors all make sense.
  228. "I-i-it worked..!"
  229. >Your aunt walks over to lean on your chair, looking smugly back at her older sister, who for the second time today is reduced to a state of speechlessness.
  230. >"See? What did I tell you?"
  231.  
  232. >"Aww, look at it."
  233. >Your aunt pokes the tip of your spear, causing you to flinch.
  234. >"He's a grower, just like his father. Right, Tia?"
  235. >You had barely looked up before being swept into another bonegrinder of a hug by your mother.
  236. >"My little boy, all grown up..."
  237. >You hear a sniffle as her voice falters.
  238. >"So late, yet too soon."
  239. >Noticing her sister's grin, your mother clears her throat to address her.
  240. >"*Ahem*... considering the circumstances, you may consider yourself forgi-"
  241. >Luna holds up a hand, her grin now positively shit-eating.
  242. >"After that awful kissing performance, there's no need, we're already even."
  243. >Your mother's face turns a fiery red as she drops you like a sack of grain off a camel's back.
  244. >"You... you... you..."
  245. >She releases a frustrated sigh in an attempt to control herself, her fists tensing up.
  246. >"You're lucky I can't actually send you to the Moon, because by the gods, I would..."
  247. >You gulp as Luna approaches your mother again, boldly laying a hand on her shoulder.
  248. >"Not to worry, my dear sister. After this, I'll always be here for you to practice on."
  249. >You feel like you should intervene at some point, lest your mother blows her lid off, but the physical contact between them again entrances you.
  250. >"W-what? What does that mean?"
  251. >Your aunt clears her throat, performing a surprisingly good mock-impersonation of your mother's speech-voice.
  252. >"As stated in the royal decree, whoever is first to awaken the young pharaoh's desires will receive the honor of-"
  253. >"Shut up, fine!" Your mother grabs the hem of your aunt's garments, exposing her bare chest to your gaze. "Be his concubine, see if I care."
  254. >Your aunt breaks away by brushing off her garments, going topless.
  255. >"Not me, Tia, that would pose a serious problem. Would you really have him marry some conniving noble's daughter?"
  256. >Luna sits into the tight space on the chair next to you, affectionately cradling your head into her bosom.
  257. >"The honor is all yours. *I* will be his wife."
  258.  
  259. >"YOU, marry HIM? You think yourself worthy?"
  260. >Your mother laughs mockingly, leaning her head down.
  261. >"Do you have a fever? Are you unwell?"
  262. >You don't dare interject, but her chest does feel really warm against your face.
  263. >"I am perfectly healthy. If you don't approve, what is the alternative?"
  264. >Your mother raises her voice, patience clearly running low.
  265. >"I have been ATTEMPTING to pair you with someone for YEARS, but your REPUTATION has made it impossible."
  266. >Jabbing a finger at her sister on every point of emphasis, your aunt recoils each time.
  267. >"It was my VERY VAIN HOPE that at least one your offspring would fall far enough from the tree to be a suitable consort for my son, but you couldn't even get to that point."
  268. >Your aunt springs off the chair in anger, leaving you again to cower by yourself.
  269. >"Do NOT speak of my unborn children that way, you hag!"
  270. >Their foreheads butt together, neither willing to back down.
  271. >"If you have so little faith, why not conceive his wife yourself?"
  272. >"I have been busy administering the kingdom. All YOU have have been busy doing is your SERVANTS."
  273. >"A very convenient excuse, could it be that your age has rendered you BARREN?"
  274. >The room goes silent with the pair angrily staring each other down, the central fire behind them appropriately enveloping their already fiery outline.
  275. >Nervous as you are that this will escalate further, you still find a terrifying beauty in the scene.
  276. >Luna had suggested that you take her as your wife, and your mother as your concubine.
  277. >While your mother had loudly objected to the marriage proposal, her lack of objection to the concubinage spoke just as loudly.
  278. >Noticing your sweaty palms, you stare down at your rigid stiffness, strange urges present.
  279. >A survival instinct suddenly takes over, telling you to get the hell out of the room before you get caught in the crossfire.
  280. "I-I'm late for my studies..."
  281. >You get off the chair and walk away, focusing on nothing but the door on your way out.
  282.  
  283. >You hadn't exactly been lying when you said you were late, as opportune as your exit may have been, just... stretching the truth a little.
  284. >Spending the next couple of hours throwing pebbles for cats to chase may not be considered the best use of your time, but damn it all, you are the pharaoh.
  285. >Should anyone disapprove of how you use the gaps in your schedule, they may discuss it with the crocodiles.
  286. >You gulp, noticing the color palette of one of the cats resembles your mother's hair.
  287. >The thought of the day's events keep nagging at you. You've seen neither of your relatives since, not that you've made yourself easily found.
  288. >Despite having your mother as regent to carry out your duties, most of your days are actually fairly busy, mostly with education.
  289. >Besides the stories and the literature you are expected to know by heart, you have more practical subjects to master.
  290. >The workings of the skies aren't all that difficult, but the geometry is probably more likely to kill you than the combat training, which is at least enjoyable.
  291. >But none of that is scheduled for today.
  292. >On the fourth day of every week, your entire curriculum is set aside to make way for your least favorite 'activity'.
  293. >Poison immunization, courtesy of your mother's paranoid love, after rumors started circulating that your predecessor's death had not been an accident.
  294. >It's exactly as fun as it sounds, but perhaps a day of profuse sweating and banging headaches are exactly what you need to clear your mind.
  295. >Or who knows, really? Maybe this time, you'll vomit your stomach inside out, or hallucinate a foreign invasion.
  296. >Leaving the cats to their devices, you walk through the courtyard as discreetly as you can, not feeling like mingling with the sycophants all over the residence.
  297. >Walking towards the Great River, you eventually find a complex of pillars standing out of an artificial river junction.
  298. >It's your private bathing area.
  299.  
  300. >Reaching the usual spot inside the shadow of one of the pillars, your eyes find the person you were looking for.
  301. >An old man, dark of skin; a nomad hailing from the dunes beyond the setting sun.
  302. >Noticing you coming, he splays a carpet out on the ground beneath his feet, holding a small bag in his hand.
  303. >Without saying a word, he empties its contents on the blanket.
  304. >A dozen or so paralyzed scorpions fall out, half of them squirming on their backs, the other half sluggishly attempting to run away.
  305. >Your day is about to get a whole lot worse.
  306. >The old man picks up one of the massive scorpions by the tail, and then, to your dismay, he picks up another.
  307. "Wait..."
  308. >You take a step back, swallowing every drop of saliva in your mouth.
  309. >He holds up two fingers, speaking in his heavy accent.
  310. >"You ready."
  311. >He motions you to sit.
  312. >You had just managed to work your way up to a single live sting a couple of months ago, which was debilitating enough, but two..?
  313. >That's a lethal dose for the largest of men. You'd even worry about a *horse*.
  314. >Saying a silent prayer to the goddess Serket as you accept your fate, you sit down on the sand.
  315. >Wasting no time, the old man pricks you with both stingers at the same time near the same spot on your arm.
  316. >You flinch so hard, you end up back on your feet.
  317. >The man just nonchalantly collects his scorpions and walks away.
  318. >You begin breathing through your teeth as your focus goes back to your arm.
  319. >A fiery throbbing begins spreading throughout your entire body as you stumble out of your clothing.
  320. >You know from experience that the cool river-water won't ease the pain, but the urge is too strong to resist.
  321. >Walking in, you sit down against a boulder, the shallow water only reaching your chest.
  322. >It's about now that the dizziness starts setting in.
  323. >Even worse, any speck of light hurts your eyes, forcing you to cover them with your hand.
  324. >Knowing you have your privacy, you begin groaning pathetically.
  325. >"Anon?"
  326.  
  327. >FUCK. Did someone just call you by your nickname?
  328. >That's a mortal offense for most people, but there are no guards around and you are in no state to uphold the law yourself.
  329. >You look between your fingers to the riverbank across from you, but see nobody.
  330. >A couple of silent seconds pass, until you hear the sound of legs wading through water.
  331. >Looking again, you catch a blurry glimpse of blue hair before shielding your eyes from the infernal daylight.
  332. >Of course.
  333. >"I had to ask around to find you."
  334. >You feel disturbances in the water caused by a body sitting next to you, bare skin pressing against your side.
  335. "A-and..?"
  336. >"And I figured you might want some company. Are those scorpion stings?"
  337. >Company? There's a reason you didn't bring a pair of guards or some servants.
  338. >You don't care much for the idea of your subjects witnessing their divine ruler tormented by bird prey.
  339. >Not feeling like explaining your reasoning, you stay silent, tolerating her presence on account of her being family.
  340. >A particularly bad ache rumbles through your head, forcing you to stifle a whimper.
  341. >Sensing your discomfort, your aunt wraps an arm around you.
  342. >Being in no condition to reject her uncharacteristically caring gesture, you lean into her.
  343. >"Wow, you are HOT. Should I have the priests prepare a sacrifice for your health?"
  344. "N-no."
  345. >You were apprehensive about her presence at first, but this is actually pretty nice.
  346. "It will pass... in a couple of hours..."
  347. >She pulls you closer into her side, resting your heads against each other.
  348. >"Then I will stay here for a couple of hours."
  349. >You gulp, a weird mixture of feelings burgeoning through the fever, providing an odd relief.
  350. >Does she feel bad about the argument earlier?
  351. >You could have expected something like this from your mother if she weren't always so busy, but your mischievous aunt?
  352. >Blushing so hard might have been more embarrassing if you weren't already radiating heat, so you just enjoy the situation.
  353. "T-thanks..."
  354.  
  355. >You're not sure how much time has passed, but your head is finally rid of its aching.
  356. >Removing your hand from your eyes, the first thing you see is your aunt, whose lap you ended up sitting on.
  357. >She hasn't moved at all.
  358. >If there was ever a time for you to feel bad about having considered her an annoyance, this was it.
  359. >"Feeling better?"
  360. >Your headache is mostly gone, but your the is probably going to linger on into the night.
  361. "Yeah..."
  362. >Having your mental clarity back, you remember why you isolated yourself.
  363. "Were you being serious earlier..?"
  364. >"About being your wife?"
  365. >You nod, eyes finding a bird in the sky.
  366. >"Entirely, no other man is worthy of my royal blood."
  367. >Swallowing some saliva, your mind wanders back, remembering your mother's words.
  368. "But... your servants? Are they not commoners?"
  369. >"Ah, yes, but you misunderstand... none of them were men."
  370. "What? What does tha-oh."
  371. >Having witnessed that kiss, you can believe it.
  372. >Still sitting in her lap, your aunt wraps an arm around you, leaning into your ear.
  373. >"Does the thought excite you?"
  374. >She reaches her other hand down, making contact with your most sensitive spot, eliciting a sharp breath.
  375. >"Well, it seems we have converging interests."
  376. >Three fingers slowly pull the skin down your lesser head, then back up.
  377. "W-whoa..."
  378. >Your heart rate jumps, surprised by the intensity of the sensations.
  379. >"This could be a very..."
  380. >She forms a fist around your erection, performing the same motions with increased pace.
  381. >"...fulfilling..."
  382. >Squirming in her arms, your labored breathing only eggs her on further.
  383. >"...marriage."
  384. >Pressure building like nothing you've ever felt before, you feel some kind of end coming.
  385. >Instinctively lifting your hips into her fist, a gasp escapes your mouth along with an explosion of pleasure.
  386. "Hnnnggg..."
  387. >You fall back into her grasp, slowly regaining your breath.
  388. >Tightening her grip on you, she kisses the edge of your mouth.
  389. >"Just a taste of what's to come, if you'll have me..."
  390.  
  391. "Mother? Are you in here?"
  392. >You flip the curtains to the royal library, finding it empty.
  393. >Running through the hallways, you run into the dining room, almost knocking over a startled cook.
  394. "Mother?"
  395. >Nowhere to be seen.
  396. >Curses. What's next? Her chambers?
  397. >Figuring she could be there or anywhere, you make that your heading.
  398. >Rounding a corner, you stop in your tracks as a large figure dominates your field of view, almost crashing into it.
  399. "Mother!"
  400. >"Running in the halls, your majesty?" She raises her eyebrows at you.
  401. "S-sorry. Are you busy? Can we talk?"
  402. >Her face softens, dropping a hand on your shoulder.
  403. >"I can always make time for my little pharaoh, Anon."
  404. >Side by side, you walk through a wall of curtains and past a pair of guards, leading you into her chambers.
  405. >It's a modest room for her position, considering the undecorated stone walls.
  406. >There's a bed and a chair, along with a table containing an assortment of papyrus scrolls.
  407. >Clearly made with practicality in mind, rather than ceremony.
  408. >"Now..." She sits down on the bed. "I'm sure you have a lot of questions about this morn-"
  409. "I want to do it."
  410. >Her eyes shoot open, clearly taken aback.
  411. >"Do what?"
  412. "Marry aunt Luna."
  413. >Your mother pauses, filling the room with awkward silence before breaking it herself with an amused chuckle.
  414. >There's ample reason for you to be relieved, as you worried she'd be mad, but her reaction still leaves you confused.
  415. >"Oh dear... how far did she go with you?"
  416. >You recoil in shock, face going red, this time not from scorpion poison.
  417. "Uhh... w-well..."
  418. >Stumbling over your tongue, you notice your mother patting the bed beside her, benevolent smile present.
  419. >Walking towards the spot, you yelp in surprise as she instead snatches you into her arms.
  420. >"My dear, naive little boy..."
  421. >She cuddles against you, a nostalgic tenor in her voice.
  422. >"Not a day has passed since your manhood first rose, and already you are thinking with it."
  423.  
  424. >You attempt to wiggle your head up from the chasm in her bosom, your head finally popping out.
  425. "Am not..!"
  426. >"Is that so?"
  427. >She smirks deviously, flicking your nose.
  428. >"Then it should be no issue for you to tell me what transpired between you."
  429. >You blink.
  430. >Cornered by your mother's rhetorical trap, you gnash your teeth and look away.
  431. "Okay, fine... does that mean I shouldn't?"
  432. >She gets up, allowing you to stand on the floor in front of her.
  433. >Suddenly looking serious, she kneels to your eye level, hand on your shoulder.
  434. >"You are the pharaoh, and my reign as your regent will soon end."
  435. >You gulp, not expecting the conversation to get this heavy.
  436. >"Once I retire, countless women will attempt to influence you to get their way, some with worse objectives than others."
  437. >You gulp again, sensing where this she's going with this.
  438. >"And some can be 'very' persuasive."
  439. "B-but... what could aunt Luna possibly want that she doesn't already have? Status?"
  440. >Your mother smirks.
  441. >"No, she is much simpler than that. You are aware of her 'activities' with her servants, yes?"
  442. >Are you ever. It's been proving difficult to keep your fantasies in check.
  443. "Y-yes."
  444. >"As soon as you are willing, you will have the opportunity to assemble your own harem."
  445. >Definitely one of the things you're looking forward to.
  446. >"There are no restrictions on who may be in it. You may add whoever catches your eye..."
  447. >She playfully pokes your cheek.
  448. >"...or HER eye."
  449. >Oh.
  450. >OH.
  451. "Is that why you said she's not worthy?"
  452. >She pauses, suddenly looking slightly ashamed.
  453. >"I may have been a tad bit harsh, in the heat of the moment..."
  454. >That moment definitely had a lot of heat, as you remember it.
  455. >"She cares for you more than she lets on, and truly trustworthy people are rare outside of family."
  456. >You pause for a moment, not sure what to make of all this.
  457. >"So... do you still want to do it?"
  458.  
  459. >You wake up with the Sun in your face, as you would any other day.
  460. >Hearing a knock, you look to the sundial on the windowsill.
  461. >Right on time.
  462. "You may enter."
  463. >It's the same trio from yesterday.
  464. >Except, curiously enough, the servant with the jewelry has been replaced by another girl.
  465. >Thinking nothing of it, you go through the routine for the thousandth time without uttering a word, eager to get out of the room.
  466. >Finally looking presentable, you beeline straight to the dining hall, finding your mother, but strangely not your aunt.
  467. >Unlike her elder sister, she's usually not one to skip out on breakfast.
  468. "Morning, mother."
  469. >"Ah, you're awake. Has the poison worn off yet?"
  470. >You swallow a mouthful before speaking, taking a large sip of Levantine wine.
  471. "Yes, thank the gods."
  472. >"Good. We have preparations to make before the announcement."
  473. >Despite all the information provided by your mother, the decision to wed your aunt had been an easy one.
  474. >Looking back to your encounter by the riverside, she had made no secret of her 'hidden' agenda.
  475. >Since she assured you that she would not just forget you, you could find nothing objectionable about her proposal.
  476. >And that's not to mention your lack of viable options.
  477. "Clerical protocol, right?"
  478. >"Mostly, yes, but there is also the matter of the royal chambers."
  479. "Wait, really? You mean I can finally see them?"
  480. >The royal chambers might as well be the stuff of legends to you.
  481. >They were sealed off after your father died, so you have no recollection of them.
  482. >The only thing you know comes from the notes in the palace architectural blueprints, and those scrolls are older than all your wrinkled tutors combined.
  483. >Your mother releases a frustrated sigh.
  484. >"I was going to get the two of you acquainted with them, but my sister is nowhere to be found..."
  485. >Eating in silence for a while longer, your mother stands up off her chair, taking her leave.
  486. >"Alright, no sense in waiting any longer. Shall we go?"
  487.  
  488. >Walking to the royal chambers reminded you of the marvel you live in.
  489. >The journey had made you walk up no less than three flights of stairs, to the highest level of the palace.
  490. >The entrance to each protected by a pair of guards, every level is more exclusive than the last as a security measure.
  491. >The amount of people allowed to stand on this spot without special permission could be counted on one hand, though no doubt that number will increase as you move in.
  492. "Wow... it's actually open."
  493. >Huge blocks of stone had blocked further access for as long as you could remember, but you guess your mother had had them broken up and removed, considering all the dust on the floor.
  494. >For the first time in your life, you can now see the actual entrance to the chambers, and the sight is truly magnificent.
  495. >Two giant, gilded pillars flank the entrance on each side, no less than four meters tall.
  496. >In the middle stands a door, a pale white stone slab covered in an entire library's worth of chiseled inscriptions, every line painted gold.
  497. >It looks made to slide into the right hand wall, but there is no apparent opening mechanism.
  498. >"Impressive, right? This is the only door of its kind ever made."
  499. "How does it open..?"
  500. >She motions you to look, her right foot on the floor and left hand on the wall, both at the same time pushing pressure plates hidden in plain sight.
  501. >You hear a click and a rumbling noise as the door begins sliding open by itself, revealing a short hallway with a more normal door at the end.
  502. "A-are there servants somewhere, pulling..?"
  503. >Your mother shakes her head as you walk through. "A series of ropes, weights, and pulleys."
  504. >The slab comes to a stop just before disappearing into the wall, slowly sliding back into its former position.
  505. >"I can't say I understand the mechanism, but it works entirely by itself."
  506. >Walking through, you take a mental note to go over those blueprints again at some point.
  507.  
  508. >Opening the door to the proper chambers, a comparatively sad sight greets you.
  509. >"It looks bad right now, but just wait until I have the renovations-"
  510. >The room is completely empty, except for a large bed and... aunt Luna?
  511. >By now you noticed the sudden silence in the room, stopping in your tracks as you see the pair of siblings staring at each other, your mother looking confused.
  512. >And what's even more surprising, your aunt is not alone.
  513. >Sitting on the bed beside her is some girl, looking not much older than you, but wearing highly revealing clothing.
  514. >"Luna... will you please explain yourself?"
  515. >She sounds like she's scolding a child.
  516. >Your aunt, for her part, doesn't look the least bit intimidated. "Explain what? I've been waiting for you here for the last hour."
  517. >"Fine, but you should have told me." Your mother sighs. "Not to mention, bringing company, here?"
  518. >The girl shrinks back, but your aunt stands up, pulling her along.
  519. >"Ahem, yes..." She turns to address you.
  520. >"To show my eternal devotion as your Great Royal Wife, I present to you..."
  521. >As if showcasing at a slave auction, she points to the girl with both hands, who only smiles meekly.
  522. >"...a willing concubine for your harem. I believe you don't need to be introduced..?"
  523. >Huh?
  524. >Your eyes scan her over, immediately noticing her well rounded pair of- OH.
  525. "Are you..?"
  526. >"A-ana, you majesty..."
  527. >Damn. She looks completely different, but no less attractive.
  528. >Much more so, in fact.
  529. >"Well, congratulations, you have your first concubine." Your mother turns to walk away. "I'll just leave you to it."
  530. >"Hold, Tia." Your aunt speaks daringly, turning up the tension in the room. "Not first. Or have you already forgotten your own decree?"
  531. >Nobody in the room moves an inch, the silence utterly deafening.
  532. >Your to-be wife and concubine both move towards the door, while your mother faces away from you.
  533. >"We'll just leave you to it, then."
  534. >The door is shut, leaving only the two of you inside the chambers.
  535.  
  536. >The door slams shut, the echo resounding throughout the otherwise silent room.
  537. >You hadn't forgotten the implications of yesterday's events, you just assumed that Luna had raised the issue as a joke to piss off your mother.
  538. >But no, she just left the two of you alone in the most secluded room in the palace, 'leaving you to it', as she worded it.
  539. >The low rumbling of the outer, stone door confirms that they are indeed gone.
  540. >Looking at your mother, her back still turned to you, you gulp.
  541. >You're supposed to perform the concubine initiation ritual... with your mother? Right now?
  542. "Err... you know, this isn't really necessary..."
  543. >"Anon, sit down."
  544. >She didn't even turn to look at you. No hesitation, no sigh, nothing but a clear, simple order.
  545. >Meaning this is not a time for you to talk back.
  546. >You sit on the edge of the bed, the emptiness of the room giving you no other option but that or the floor.
  547. >"That servant girl cannot be your first concubine."
  548. >You give her your straightest confused look, covering up your stress.
  549. "W-why?"
  550. >"The nobility expects one of their own to get the position. If a lowly servant receives it instead, you will make enemies of them, BUT..."
  551. >You jolt upright as she reaches a hand down, her finger lifting your chin to make eye contact, face looking sternly at you.
  552. >"...if *I* get it, it would be par for the course. Not a single soul would dare object."
  553. >You have no response to this logic, but you can't get over how wrong this would feel.
  554. "But... to demote my own mother to mere concubinage for my own gain?
  555. >The thought of such betrayal sickens you to the point of shaking.
  556. "After you have ruled for so long, and so well? I just can't."
  557. >At this point, you would have expected her serious persona to break with a smile and a hug, but to your surprise, she only seems to get more serious.
  558. >"You are far too accommodating."
  559.  
  560. >You look up, shocked, but she doesn't waiver.
  561. >"Do you know why we marry so closely within family, while the commoners do not?"
  562. >You pause, not actually knowing the answer.
  563. "Because... they have many equals, while we do not?"
  564. >"Not quite."
  565. >She sits beside you, staring blankly at the other side of the room.
  566. >"Our traditions contradict theirs by design, to remind them of their place."
  567. >You notice her demeanor changing, her hand resting on your leg.
  568. >"Your subjects have gone a long time without such a reminder."
  569. >Neither of you follow this up, the mood in the room suddenly drastically different.
  570. >Was it always this hot in here?
  571. >Your mother finally breaks the silence with an uncharacteristically low and sultry voice, leaning into your side.
  572. >"Anon..."
  573. >She snakes her hand under your garments, directly stroking your inner thigh while breathing into your ear.
  574. >"Break their traditions with me."
  575. >You jump on your feet, the chaotic mix of doubt and arousal swirling around in your head becoming too much to bear.
  576. "Mother, I-"
  577. >You choke upon turning to look, her robes now loosened to show a narrow strip of skin down the middle, along with a bare shoulder.
  578. >The setting Sun casting a ray of light on your mother through a window, she leans sideways on the bed.
  579. >"You must always be prepared to act without regard for others, for the greater good."
  580. >She makes a show of flicking some hair behind her shoulders.
  581. >"Case in point; my sister will need a firm hand, for her own good as well as yours. Show me that you have it."
  582. >You pause again, your heart well on its way to cracking open your ribcage.
  583. >Your own mother. Would your reputation survive this?
  584. >Taking another look down your mother's exquisite body, your other head chimes in, pointing straight up at the ceiling.
  585. >You let slip a moment's depravity, enticed by the thought of seeing more.
  586. >Surely it wouldn't hurt to... test your authority a little, right?
  587. >You take a deep breath, steeling your nerves.
  588. "S-strip."
  589.  
  590. <perspective change>
  591. >The stone slab locks into place behind you, almost trapping the bottom of your skirt.
  592. >This door is by far the creepiest thing you've ever seen in your life.
  593. >"Well, then..."
  594. >Your blue-eyed mistress turns around to face you, unbearably smug grin on her face.
  595. >"You didn't think I could make this happen, but I did."
  596. >She walks towards you, backing you up against the wall, sensually stroking your hair.
  597. >"Are you ready to hold up your end of the bargain..?"
  598. >Blushing furiously, you sidestep her.
  599. "B-b-but... we don't know what they're doing in there..!"
  600. >"Really?"
  601. >The princess chuckles dismissively.
  602. >"My sister would murder every soul in the palace if she thought an assassin was amongst them, this really isn't outside the realm of possi-"
  603. "T-that's different..!"
  604. >She rolls her eyes with a sigh, walking towards a shabby-looking wooden door on the wall to your right.
  605. >"Peasants..."
  606. >She opens the old door with some effort, showing the outside world on the other side.
  607. >She steps out. "Follow me, then."
  608. >Looking out the door, there's an narrow pathway built along the walls, leading to the outer side of the room you just exited.
  609. >"Watch your step and don't look down."
  610. >You gulp as you look down, seeing a fall that would surely kill you.
  611. >You squeal as the royal grabs your hand, giving you a rare, reassuring smile.
  612. "O-okay..."
  613. >Walking along the ledge with the princess pulling you forward, you finally reach one of the barred windows of the royal chambers.
  614. >"Usually only workers come here to decorate the palace..."
  615. >You don't envy them.
  616. >"But I used to come here as a child to spy on my sister and-"
  617. >She pauses, her grin looking labored for a fleeting moment, before pointing you at the window.
  618. >"Just take a look."
  619. >You slowly lean your head into view, immediately stunned by the image.
  620. >The image of the queen, dropping her robes in front of her son.
  621. >You crouch down without hesitation, blood pumping like never before.
  622. "N-no way..!"
  623. </perspective change>
  624.  
  625. >The order had barely escaped your mouth before your mother stood up and threw off her robes in one, swift motion.
  626. >Sitting back down, she goes further, removing all her bracelets, amulets, hair binders, and earrings, throwing everything in a pile on the floor.
  627. >Your nostrils flare, witnessing an entirely new side of your mother, both in spirit and body.
  628. >As often as you've bathed together, you've never seen her *this* naked.
  629. >You scan her over again, getting ever more excited by her free-flowing hair and those massive...
  630. >Freezing as your eyes lock on the gorge between her mammaries, you get another urge to explore the extent of your authority.
  631. >Her message was clear. You can order anything.
  632. "Be still."
  633. >Proud of yourself for managing to not stutter, you reach out your hand, grabbing a handful of the warm, fleshy protrusion.
  634. >You start sweating as your hand sinks in, the nipple pushing against your palm.
  635. >Your mother doesn't even flinch, she just looks down, staring at your bulge.
  636. >"You look uncomfortable."
  637. >Her head turns back up, highly suggestive look on her face.
  638. >Your pupils lose and regain focus in a heartbeat's time, a surge of determination flowing through you.
  639. >To hell with the peasants and their sensibilities. The crocodiles can have anyone who objects.
  640. >You hastily remove all your clothing, throwing it into another pile on the floor, eager to get on with this.
  641. >Standing before your mother as naked as her, she stares down your erection, but otherwise does nothing.
  642. >"What should I do with it, your majesty?"
  643. >Oh, right, you're supposed to be in charge here.
  644. >You try to think of something, only recalling that encounter with your aunt's hand.
  645. >Is there something else that can be done with it..?
  646. >Cursing your lack of imagination, you decide to just order something vague.
  647. "Uhh... surprise me."
  648. >She gets off the bed and on her knees in front of you, glint in her eyes as she breathes on your erection.
  649.  
  650. >"As you wish..."
  651. >You stare in awe as she inches her head closer, unbearably slowly.
  652. >Really..? With her mouth?
  653. >That's genius. Never in a million years would you have thought of that.
  654. >"Surprise it is, then."
  655. >Just before contact, she pulls her head away and arches her back, raising her frame.
  656. >Grabbing your sides with her hands, your mother leans her chest into you, burying your erection deep inside the depths of her fleshy crevice.
  657. >Having made sure you stay in place, her hands release you, instead using them to squeeze her breasts together while rhythmically moving her body up and down.
  658. >Barely managing to not fall over, you gasp in shock as well as pleasure.
  659. >Your hands find your mother's back, allowing you to compose yourself.
  660. >That's another thing you'd never have thought of yourself.
  661. >Just how deep does this scarab hole go?
  662. >The surprise quickly wearing off, you begin meeting her motions with your hips, pushing her back into you.
  663. >Thrusting into the surprisingly accommodating crevice, you pick up speed as your eyes wander downwards.
  664. >Flawless skin obstructed only by wild strands of multi-hued hair greets your eyes, her back curvatures forming an hourglass shape more apparent now than ever.
  665. >Which goddess should you even thank for this?
  666. >Thrusting harder, you notice her adding a third dimension to her movements.
  667. >Playing it safe, you decide to just thank all of them in an inwardly screaming prayer.
  668. >Outwardly, only a series of grunts escape as the intense feeling shoots through your spine, this time lasting over several spurts.
  669. "Hrrnnggg..."
  670. >You take several steps back, your fluids forming a bridge between you and the top of your mother's rack.
  671. "S-sorr-"
  672. >Wait, no.
  673. >The hell are you apologizing for?
  674. >Your mother is on her knees in front of you, hands behind her back, awaiting further orders.
  675. >Clearing your throat, a scandalously indecent idea crosses your mind, the sticky string still persisting between you.
  676. "Clean up this mess... servant."
  677.  
  678. >A moment's surprise shows on your mother's face before settling into a lustful grin, eyeballing your nethers.
  679. >"With what, your majesty?"
  680. >She licks her lips.
  681. "Yes."
  682. >She picks the slimy bridge up off her rack with a finger, hooking it on her tongue as she gets on all fours.
  683. >The string gradually disappears into her mouth as she crawls closer to your rapidly growing member, your heartbeat again hastening.
  684. >Millimeters left between her outstretched tongue and your tip, she stops and looks up, shooting you a playful glare.
  685. >A drop of sweat runs down your forehead, your usually generous patience suddenly nowhere to be found.
  686. "D-do it..!"
  687. >Sitting on her knees in front of you, she grabs the base of your shaft and starts circling your head with her tongue.
  688. "Ahhh... whoa."
  689. >Varying her act, she goes deep and pulls back, sucking on your head and releasing with a loud pop, before again focusing on the tongue-work.
  690. >It feels great, but nothing's really building up, it's still too soon.
  691. "A-alright... stop."
  692. >She dislodges and looks up, curiously tilting her head at you.
  693. "Get on the bed."
  694. >Standing up, she sits on the straw mattress, letting her back fall with a thwump.
  695. >"Oh dear~"
  696. >Looking at her spread legs, you see your own mother presenting her body to you, to do with as you wish.
  697. >You release a deep breath, the sheer impossibility of the situation still not fully settled in your mind.
  698. >Is this what power feels like?
  699. >No.
  700. >No matter how much you take advantage of it, this 'session' wasn't by your initiative.
  701. >Neither was the coming marriage to your aunt, not really.
  702. >Even your possessions, your title, everything you own, all of it inherited.
  703. >It seems as if all the choices you've ever made, all your earthly and unearthly possessions, your entire being is laden with someone else's imprint.
  704. >You sit down on the bed, silently looking over your shoulder, seeing your mother patiently awaiting your word.
  705.  
  706. >Your dear mother. Wielding the power of the gods, she could have disposed of you long ago and ruled for life.
  707. >Or she could have made you her puppet, ruling from the shadows through your perpetually coerced approval.
  708. >Instead, here she is, familiarizing you with your authority in the most extreme way you could possibly imagine.
  709. >Who could ever doubt your divinity, when you were birthed by such a goddess amongst men? Least of all you.
  710. >You glance at your palm, remembering the feeling of fingers wedged around your erection, then at your birthplace.
  711. >What is that, even? It looks weird, kind of like a vertical mouth.
  712. >Does that mean it has teeth?
  713. >You gulp, clueless as to where to start.
  714. "Just, uhh... do... yourself..."
  715. >She raises her eyebrow at you, smirking widely.
  716. >You break the eye contact with a blush, finding a spot on the floor to stare at.
  717. >Great job, killing the mood with some vague nonsense.
  718. >"If that is your wish..."
  719. >Wait, what?
  720. >Your head snaps to attention, hearing elevated breathing in the room.
  721. >True to her word to do as you command, she had indeed found a way to do herself.
  722. >With a hand, and three outstretched fingers, rubbing a single spot.
  723. >So obvious in hindsight, but again, you doubt the idea would have come to you by itself.
  724. >"Aahhh~"
  725. >You freeze on the spot as a lurid moan follows her now more vigorous movements, almost loud enough to echo off the walls of the empty room.
  726. >Looking more intently, you notice an occasional leg twitch, but the calm, lustful expression meeting your eyes makes its purpose obvious.
  727. >She's egging you on. She wants you to do something.
  728. >She wants you.
  729. >You stand off the bed and move in front of her dangling legs, leaning your hands on her knees, pinning them down with your weight.
  730. >Watching intently as your mother continues her self-satisfaction, your level face turns brighter in expression and color alike.
  731. "Go on..."
  732.  
  733. >Your voice seems to kick her gears into motion, gasping as her hand works faster on herself, her legs getting more restless by the second.
  734. >"Hnnff..."
  735. "Yes..."
  736. >Leaning forward, your hands slide halfway up her legs, a strangely alluring smell hitting you suddenly.
  737. "You like that..?"
  738. >Her entire body now squirming beneath you, it takes most of your weight to keep her in place.
  739. >"Y-ye... ye-"
  740. "Then stop..."
  741. >She freezes in place, filling the room with the most unbearable silence, before reluctantly retracting her hand.
  742. "...and allow me."
  743. >Her hand no longer blocking your view, you can see the stark difference.
  744. >Swelled up and glistening, her folds seem to speak in a language of jerks and quivers, communicating to you an invitation.
  745. >"Unggh~"
  746. >You lean down and run your tongue right over the sweet spot without a second thought, her anatomy providing a perfect runway from the bottom to the most sensitive top.
  747. >Her reaction almost throws you off, but you clamp your arms around her legs, wrestling her lower body down.
  748. "By the gods, be still."
  749. >You suppress a chuckle, the difference between your own climax and hers seemingly day and night.
  750. >"Sorry... g-go on..."
  751. "Heh, ordering me around, are you?"
  752. >You flick her nub with your finger, causing a yelp.
  753. >"S-sor-"
  754. "I'll let it slide."
  755. >You lean back down, breathing on your target.
  756. "You deserve it."
  757. >Again clamping her feet in place, you stick out your tongue, running a couple of circles around her button, before taking an exploration trip into her folds.
  758. >"Hnngh-ahhh~"
  759. >No teeth. That's certainly a relief.
  760. >Getting a somewhat less extreme reaction, you decide to alternate your efforts between top and bottom, your thumb being a useful secondary device.
  761. >"Aaaannnhhhhff~"
  762. >Your tongue finding her nub for the fourth time, her legs squish your head with considerable force while a hand finds the back of your head, a loud moan filling the room.
  763.  
  764. >The vice grip slackens, allowing you to finally raise your head.
  765. >Your eyes widen upon noticing her hips still squirming slightly, your mother looking completely exhausted.
  766. >You lick your lips, admiring the scene of your mother's usually dignified demeanor shattered into a thousand pieces by a few strokes of your tongue.
  767. >This. This is power.
  768. >You sit on the bed beside your mother, your desires now absent, strangely replaced by a sense of contentedness.
  769. "Damn, mother, is it always this intense?"
  770. >"Y-your majesty..?"
  771. "Drop this act, that's an order."
  772. >She sits up, barely suppressing a chuckle.
  773. >"What? I have no idea whatsoever of what you-"
  774. "I have a crocodile pen, and I'm not afraid to use it."
  775. >A silence created between you, you wonder if you went too far, before your mother lunges at you, pinning you on the bed with a grin, running her fingers over your sides.
  776. >"Fine! You asked for it!"
  777. >Her fingers all prick at you like spears, leaving you a helpless, writhing mess on your back.
  778. "HAHA, stop! I am-pfft... p-pharaoh!"
  779. >"Sorry!" She shows no mercy, continuing her assault. "Was that not an act?"
  780. "N-not fair!"
  781. >You take the easy way out, rolling off the bed with an undignified thud, praising the gods that nobody else is witness to this unbecoming display.
  782. >Your mother sits gloating on the edge of the bed while you return to her side, ending once again in her arms.
  783. >"You have made me proud, Anon. Now I know you are ready."
  784. "For what, pray tell?"
  785. >"Rule, marriage, all of it. If that is still your desire."
  786. >Your mind wanders back to your predicament with your aunt, the best way to handle her now appearing obvious.
  787. "Thank you, mother, sincerely."
  788. >You lean into her, returning the hug.
  789. "I owe you everything, yet I fear I cannot repay you just yet."
  790. >She raises an accusatory eyebrow, harking back to her lesson of pragmatic ruthlessness.
  791. "...which I will insist on, by the way."
  792. >She huffs mockingly, jabbing at your ribs.
  793. >"Do you require more practice, 'prince'?"
  794.  
  795. >>"Yes, I require more practice. A lot more. Right now."
  796. >Words cannot describe how tempted you were to say that.
  797. >But you couldn't do it, as an idea popped into your head at the last moment. Or rather, a plan.
  798. >Your plan to deal with your mischievous fiance, hatched in your head during last night's power trip, was simple.
  799. >Simple, but still difficult, as you already found out after leaving your mother earlier.
  800. >"Look down und close your eyes, if you vud, it's almost done..."
  801. >Topless on a chair, you struggle to keep still as a pair of artists stroke you all over with paint brushes, one painting over your closed eyelids.
  802. >Two uncomfortably attractive women, one with blue hair and the other pink, both ceremonial body-painters specializing in marital decor.
  803. >They're supposedly sisters from the delta, which would explain the accent.
  804. >You feel the touch of a finger on your bicep, running up your arm.
  805. >"Alvays a pleasure, to vörk on a body like zis..."
  806. >You gulp.
  807. >You've been conditioned to hate this kind of sycophancy with a burning fury, but now...
  808. >You shift in your seat, trying to hide your pitched tent.
  809. >Damn it, if this plan is going to work, you're going to need some self-control.
  810. >If only your father was still alive, you could use some manly advice. But then again, none of this would be happening if he were.
  811. >The other moves to your front, stroking your leg on the way.
  812. >"I vudn't mind, seeing mo-"
  813. >"Are you done yet?"
  814. >All three of you snap to attention, the kingdom's undisputed voice of authority sounding behind you.
  815. >"V-von moment..!" A single streak of paint is hastily applied to the bridge of your nose. "Z-zere! Done!"
  816. >Mother to the rescue!
  817.  
  818. >She leans down to inspect your face, giving you a full view of her rack.
  819. >"Mirror, please?"
  820. >The pink-haired painter silently obliges.
  821. >All you see in your reflection is an absurdly complex mesh of patterns, way too intricate for you to judge on the spot.
  822. "It's... very traditional."
  823. >You look like a zebra with a bad case of leprosy, but you'll keep that comment to yourself.
  824. >"Those eyes are works of art, can I take a closer look..?" Your mother smiles innocently.
  825. "Huh? Oh, sure."
  826. >You close your eyes, realizing she meant the ones painted on your eyelids.
  827. >Her hands push down on your legs as she leans further, pushing her silky lips pushing against yours, snaking her tongue into your mouth.
  828. >Your eyes shoot open, finding your mother's pair looking straight into them.
  829. >"Ah, excuse me..." She pulls away.
  830. >"I couldn't help myself, you look so much like your father on my wedding day..."
  831. "I... uhh..."
  832. >"Oh~, please forgive me!" She interrupts, dramatically slapping her forehead with the back of her hand.
  833. >"I completely forgot to claim your lips last night..."
  834. >She smirks at the painters behind her. "...in the heat of the moment..."
  835. >"E-e-e-excuse us..!"
  836. >Looking comically uncomfortable, they fall over each other on the way out, leaving the two of you alone in the room.
  837. "Wow... I have a question... or fifty."
  838. >"Please."
  839. "Was it really necessary to shatter their world-view like that?"
  840. >"What, can't a mother kiss her own son?"
  841. >You raise an eyebrow.
  842. >"Oh, hush." She waves at you, dismissively. "They and everyone else here will get used to this eventually, I'll make sure of it."
  843. >You gulp at the implication.
  844. "D-didn't we talk about this..?"
  845. >"Yes, yes, I'm sure Luna will be touched. I'll behave myself while we're in private, don't worry."
  846. >In private..?
  847. "Hey, I'm really trying to be serious about thi-"
  848. >She pushes a finger against your lips.
  849. >"You know, just because you're not currently doing your own mother, doesn't mean the world can't think you are."
  850.  
  851. >It's been hours, but nothing's managed to take your mind off your last conversation with your mother, not even this wedding.
  852. >You know you're supposed to project this other-worldly image, but that has got to be taking it too far.
  853. >A pair of guards open the doors to the palace temple, revealing to you a scary sight.
  854. >About three dozen torch-carrying eunuchs stand on either side of the walkway to the central altar, where the high priest stands waiting.
  855. >You mostly know him for hitting your fingers with a stick whenever you failed to memorize some story as a kid, but he has a different role now.
  856. >Ready for the end of your life as a bachelor, you take the first step forward.
  857. >This intimidating walk to the altar isn't meant to be made alone, but the line of candidates to follow you there is surprisingly empty.
  858. >The first in line to 'give you away' would be your father, who's dead and buried.
  859. >The second would be your mother, who instead will be accompanying Luna to the altar as tradition prefers, and the third of course is Luna herself.
  860. >With no other living relatives, that leaves only the emergency back-up option, usually only brought out when marrying orphans.
  861. >And that's the pharaoh himself or a local representative, which in your case can only be YOU.
  862. >You can at least take some solace in the fact that you're finally doing something yourself, as trivial as this is.
  863. >*THUNK*
  864. >The priest slams the butt of his staff on the floor as soon as you clear the last of the castrates, prompting the guards to again open the entrance.
  865. >The door creaks open, and your heart threatens to detach and flutter away into the aether.
  866. >In walk the two women in your life, elbows linked as they step into the walkway.
  867. >Your mother, standing nearly a head taller than her sister, is wearing her typical 'formal' attire, but you can't seem to tear your eyes off your bride.
  868.  
  869. >Her white dress is wrapped tightly around her body, showing off her figure rather than just bare skin.
  870. >You notice her watching her step as the dress completely covers her feet, while her hands are bare all the way to the shoulders.
  871. >But most of all, her face is on full display with her hair tied back, only slightly spoiled by the presence of jewelry.
  872. >*THUNK* *THUNK*
  873. >You're brought back into reality as the staff sounds again, ceasing your ogling as Luna takes her position two feet away from you.
  874. >"UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM"
  875. >The gelded choir fills the room with a monotonous hum as the priest raises his hands, providing you an opportunity to speak just loud enough for Luna to hear.
  876. "You look stunning."
  877. >"Thanks." She runs her eyes over you. "You look ridiculous."
  878. >You suppress a chuckle while looking at the priest, who thankfully didn't seem to hear that.
  879. >Getting on the bad side of the land's highest clerical authority would be a very bad way to begin your reign.
  880. >"BLESSED BE THEE WHO STAND BEFORE THE GAZE OF THE HEAVENS," The priest booms, silencing the chorus.
  881. >"MAY THIS UNION BE LONG AND FRUITFUL."
  882. >The old man taps his staff another three times on the floor, your cue to face each other.
  883. >He pulls a knife out of his cloak. "Hold out thine right hand."
  884. >Whoa, you weren't told about this.
  885. >"This covenant must be signed in the blood of the-"
  886. >"AHEM." Your mother steps forward. "My husband ended this custom."
  887. >"My queen," He responds, sounding confused. "The heretic's decrees hold no validity after-"
  888. >"Hotep, my old friend and mentor..." She loudly slaps her hand on the priest's shoulder, leaning into his ear while dropping her voice to a whisper.
  889. >"If the current arrangement of your toes is to your liking, you will get this blade away from my son without another word."
  890. >He hesitates for a moment, almost fumbling his grip before sheathing his knife.
  891. >"Y-you may kiss the bride."
  892. >Love you, mom.
  893.  
  894. >The rest of the ceremony went without incident, ending with a kiss and the ritual sacrifice of seven oxen before you could meet outside with your mother.
  895. >At least the boring part is over, you can hear the festivities have already begun.
  896. >"Don't make me regret allowing this, Luna."
  897. >"Oh, don't be like that..." Your wife giggles, holding on to your arm like a lost child.
  898. >She hasn't let go of you since the last bull was slaughtered.
  899. >"This will work out just fine, your boy is a much better kisser than you are."
  900. >You blush, not knowing how to respond to that, or if you should.
  901. >"Luna..!" You mother looks around, embarrassed.
  902. >"As my sister, sister-in-law, and now also daughter-in-law, I can forgive a lot. But if you don't drop that, then I swear-"
  903. >"You swear what?" Your wife interrupts, smooching your cheek. "You forgot to mention, I am also your queen."
  904. >Your mother huffs, turning around.
  905. >"We'll talk more tomorrow, so just enjoy the rest of the evening. Oh, and Anon..?"
  906. "Hmm?"
  907. >"An heir and a spare." She walks away, leaving you alone.
  908. >With Luna.
  909. >Trying your best to not boil your own face off, you hazard a look, seeing your wife grinning from ear to ear.
  910. >"Anon?"
  911. "Y-yes..?"
  912. >"Let's get drunk." She pulls you along into a walk, aiming for the bonfire.
  913. >"Sloppy, off-our-camels, blackout-"
  914. "O-okay, sure!"
  915. >Hell, you could use a drink.
  916. >You slip away and run forward, her enthusiasm infecting you.
  917. "Beat you there!"
  918. >You fall into a jog, curious to see if she can keep up.
  919. >Shedding her shoes, she blazes into a full sprint, laughing past you while kicking up sand.
  920. >"HAHAHA, back to basic training, Anon!"
  921. "W-what? No way!"
  922. >You almost catch up, only for her to increase her pace, staying just slightly ahead of you no matter how much you push yourself.
  923. >One last sprint to save some dignity on the last spurt changes nothing.
  924. >Panting like a dog, you collapse on your knees in front of the bonfire, your wife laughing triumphantly.
  925. "H-how... the fuck..."
  926.  
  927. >"There, there, nephew." She leans down and pats your head. "A lack of endurance is nothing we can't fix."
  928. >You look around, noticing you're attracting stares.
  929. "D-don't... call me that... in front of the peasantry."
  930. >Your entire servant population is gathered in the area, having fun in groups while someone is banging on drums.
  931. >You even notice some daring cats joining the party, no doubt seeking the drunken human attention.
  932. >Strewn around the area are some open barrels, which you're guessing are filled with alcohol, as well as a couple of tables containing gilded cups.
  933. >Still being mostly incognito, you grab two cups from the nearest table, throwing one for Luna to catch while finding the next unpopulated barrel.
  934. >"Ugh, beer? What happened to the wine?"
  935. "What, you thought all these barrels were full of wine..?"
  936. >You scoop some into your cup, downing the contents in one gulp.
  937. "You might as well dump the treasury into the river."
  938. >"Hmph, I suppose it'll do."
  939. >You notice movement in your periphery, a figure getting closer.
  940. >Is someone actually approaching you?
  941. >"Hey, princess." Some dude, not much older than you, leans on the barrel and points at you, sounding more than a little inebriated.
  942. >"Is this your hyena?"
  943. >Your jaw drops, looking around to see if he means someone else. Because obviously the finger in your face isn't proof enough.
  944. >Then you hear some girls in the background, giggling like lunatics.
  945. >"Wow." Luna breaks the silence. "This is a dare, right?"
  946. >"Uhh, well... I, uhh..."
  947. >He drops on his knees, having completely lost his nerve.
  948. >"PLEASEFORGIVEME, IHAVEAFAMILY"
  949. "HRRKKHH-"
  950. >You break into a fit of cough-laughter, after some alcohol got caught in your windpipe.
  951. "I get it, b-because of the... paint, right?"
  952. >He slowly stands back up, a glint of hope sparkling in his eyes.
  953. >"A-am I not getting executed?"
  954. "Executed?! PFFT-"
  955. >You cough some more, hardly believing your ears.
  956. "Banish the thought, plebeian! Is my reputation THAT bad?"
  957.  
  958. >Luna nudges you. "It's Celestia's, you saw how she handled the priest."
  959. "Well, I better do something about that."
  960. >You down another cup, already feeling a buzz.
  961. "Tell me about that family you mentioned. Wife and children?"
  962. >"Uhh, no. There's mom and dad... I'm the oldest of five brothers and two sisters..."
  963. >"The competition must be fierce."
  964. >"W-what?"
  965. "Excuse my wife. Let me guess, you're farmers struggling to get by during a shit season, so they sent their eldest here to earn some extra revenue as a royal guard?"
  966. >He looks stunned.
  967. "It's a common story."
  968. >"Y-yeah, the last couple of seasons have been tough."
  969. "Well, tell you what, whatever your name is..."
  970. >"Nrohmasotheb."
  971. "...Norman."
  972. >Shit, close enough. What were his parents thinking?
  973. "I'll give your farmstead a full tax exemption for the next three harvests, courtesy of your bravery."
  974. >This ought to make you more approachable.
  975. "And I'll even let you deliver the decree in person, signed and stamped. Two weeks off without a salary cut for a family visit, sounds good?"
  976. >"Y-y-you can do that..?"
  977. "Who do you think you're talking to? I'll send someone to your barracks when the papyruswork is ready."
  978. >"W-wow..." His voice is getting shaky. "I don't even know how to thank you."
  979. >You down another cup, suddenly feeling jealous.
  980. "Just enjoy having siblings for me..."
  981. >"Well, look at you." Luna looks legitimately impressed. "Taking charge already?"
  982. >You down yet another cup to further erode your inhibitions, noticing others gathering around you.
  983. "Yeah, if I'm going to be a known motherfucker, then I'll be a beloved one, damn it!"
  984. >"Hey, you're not that bad!" Some random voice shouts out behind you.
  985. "No, I mean literally!"
  986. >You turn around to the source of the voice, who you recognize as one of your waitresses.
  987. "Haven't the rumors started circulating yet?"
  988. >Is your mother actually slacking off? That would be a first.
  989. >"It sure would be nice if the rumors were true, though..." Your wife mumbles.
  990.  
  991. "Wait... what?"
  992. >You look at your wife twirling around the liquid in her cup, drunk-blush on her face.
  993. >"Just saying... I set everything up perfectly, and you were doing fine, until you just... stopped."
  994. >You almost drop your cup.
  995. "You... you SAW? How?"
  996. >She points to the top of the palace, decorated with some banners hanging off the barred windows of your new room.
  997. >"How do you think that stuff got up there?"
  998. >You stay silent, waiting for her to get to the WHY, which in retrospect was the more important question.
  999. >"Well, I had to confirm if it worked, for... you know... the bet."
  1000. "The bet?"
  1001. >She's starting to look less sure of herself.
  1002. >"Y-yeah. The bet."
  1003. >The crowd around you is looking increasingly uncomfortable, some showing signs of disgust, but you're too drunk to care.
  1004. "Wait a second, let me get this straight..."
  1005. >You down another cup for good measure, wondering if you're missing something.
  1006. "You pushed us into... fornicating, you spied on us to confirm if we did, and now you're mad that we didn't... because it lost you a bet?"
  1007. >She pouts, awkwardly avoiding eye contact.
  1008. >"I'm not MAD..."
  1009. >Holy shit with this woman, what have you gotten yourself into?
  1010. >You stare into the alcoholic abyss below you, scooping up a generous serving for you to chug.
  1011. >This marriage is going nowhere until you set some boundaries, and there's no better time to do it than right now.
  1012. >It's time to put your plan into motion.
  1013. >You take a deep breath, only for your anxiety to overpower you, so again you tap into the reserve of liquid courage.
  1014. >Doing this in public wasn't part of your plan, but it will hopefully only serve to increase the impact.
  1015. >"Uhh... Anon?"
  1016. >You exhale loudly, examining your cup.
  1017. >You're not seeing double, which means you're still too sober.
  1018. >Twice more you drink, ignoring all the voices of concern around you.
  1019. >You look up, finally feeling ready.
  1020. >Except you can't locate your wife.
  1021.  
  1022. "L-luna?"
  1023. >"Anon..?"
  1024. >Oh, there she is, the bluest object in your view.
  1025. >You drop on your knee, which turns out to be easier than standing.
  1026. >Doing your best to focus on her eyes, you release a final, stress-relieving breath.
  1027. "This is... kind of backwards, doing this after the marriage, but I MUST."
  1028. >Yelling out that last syllable silenced the area completely, even the drums stopped.
  1029. "You are... the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on, and I love you in more ways than one."
  1030. >You hear some ooh's and aww's around you, but nothing from Luna, who's just standing there, dumbfounded.
  1031. "I want you to be mine."
  1032. >You hold out your hand, hoping she'll take it.
  1033. "O-ONLY mine."
  1034. >The women in the audience start screeching, almost too loud to bear.
  1035. >You start sweating as your wife instead goes for the barrel.
  1036. >"Excuse me while I get on your level..."
  1037. >You watch in heavy anticipation as she downs seven whole cups in rapid succession, finally dropping unceremoniously into the sand.
  1038. >"And here I thought *I* was shameless."
  1039. "S-so..?"
  1040. >"JUST..." She lunges forward, body-slamming you on the ground in a failed attempt at a hug.
  1041. >"Hrrg... carry me into the sunset already."
  1042. >You groan in a mixture of pain and relief, your world spinning.
  1043. "S-sure... anything for... my..."
  1044. >The weight is lifted off you before you're pulled up yourself.
  1045. >"Just lead the way, I'm not letting you carry anyone and break your neck before I get my vacation."
  1046. "N-norman?"
  1047. >"That's not my name, your highness, but yes."
  1048. "Just... call me Anon. That's not my name, either."
  1049. >Supporting you, he walks you towards the palace, someone else doing the same for your plastered wife just next to you.
  1050. >"I don't know what you've done to me, because I'm not sure if I'm touched or revolted."
  1051. "Yeah, well... pick one and go with it."
  1052. >You chuckle, trying not to slur your words.
  1053. "It'll make your family visit less confusing. How old are your sisters?"
  1054. >"No. That's not happening."
  1055. "Yeah, not with that attitude."
  1056.  
  1057. >You wave to the guards, noting Norman's cheerful demeanor as he walks away.
  1058. >Did you just make a friend? You?
  1059. >Shit, you should be getting drunk more often.
  1060. "Wuh-where are we?"
  1061. >"This *should* be my room..." She paws at the handle several times before getting her aim right, pushing open the door. "Wow, I am... completely..."
  1062. >You walk in and rub your eyes, revealing a modest room lit only by a ray of moonlight, falling on a single-person bed in the corner of the room through a window.
  1063. >Moonlight, shining on Luna's bed? At such a perfect moment?
  1064. >No way is that a coincidence.
  1065. >"Aaaanon~"
  1066. >She throws her arms over your shoulders in a drunken lunge, pinning you against a wall.
  1067. >"Caaarry meee~, I'm too drunk to walk."
  1068. "Ehh, I'm not very stable, myself."
  1069. >She smirks, lowering her voice. "Then aim for the bed."
  1070. >No argument.
  1071. >Reaching your hand under her legs, you pick her up princess-style with some difficulty balancing yourself, while she tightens her grip around you.
  1072. "Hnng..."
  1073. >You manage two steps before falling straight on the bed with a mutual yelp, right on top of your wife.
  1074. >Engrossed in each other's eyes, you both pick the same moment to go in for the kiss, tongues meeting in a fit of passion for a short, but meaningful moment.
  1075. >"Did I understand your little speech correctly? You want... monogamy?"
  1076. "Yes."
  1077. >"So... no harems, no concubines..? Just you and me?"
  1078. "That's the idea."
  1079. >You go for another kiss, meeting no resistance.
  1080. >She pulls away, breathing heavy.
  1081. >"I... I don't get it. You could have anyone AND me, so... why?"
  1082. "I drank myself into the ground to get the courage to explain that, please don't make me do it again."
  1083. >You can't read her expression, but you're pretty sure there's a blush in there somewhere.
  1084. >"O-okay."
  1085. >The corners of her mouth slowly turn up, face twitching as if she's trying - and failing - to suppress a smile.
  1086. >"I suppose I can work with that..."
  1087.  
  1088. >Your heart leaps.
  1089. >There was no contingency plan for a rejection at this stage, except maybe drinking yourself into an early grave.
  1090. "That's a hell of a relief... I love you."
  1091. >"O-okay, slow down... what happened to you?"
  1092. "What..? Something happened?"
  1093. >"Clearly. Where's the little Anon that used to cover his eyes whenever I flashed him my ankles?"
  1094. >You pause, a long series of repressed childhood memories flashing through your head.
  1095. "You happened. That's what."
  1096. >That's not even a lie, the ankles were just the beginning.
  1097. >She got more and more bold as you got older, feeding into an obsession that would eventually turn into... this.
  1098. "You have no idea, the amount of inner turmoil I went through when you started doing that..."
  1099. >She giggles, flicking your nose with her index finger.
  1100. >"If you get off me, I'll show you my knees."
  1101. "Heh, let's not go crazy here..."
  1102. >Obliging, you lift yourself up, leaning on the wall behind you while she sits up on the bed.
  1103. >Turning her back to you, she pulls all her hair over her shoulder, showing you the strings holding her dress together.
  1104. >"I could use some help with this."
  1105. "Uhh, sure..."
  1106. >You blink a couple of times, trying to figure out this mess of knots through your drunken haze.
  1107. >You randomly pull on a bunch of loose ends with no success, next attempting to pry open one of the knots with your fingernails.
  1108. "Hrrnngg... how did you even get into this..?"
  1109. >"Not by mysel-EEP!"
  1110. >Using your teeth, you manage to pry open the knot, your lips touching her bare skin in the process.
  1111. "What, something wrong?"
  1112. >"N-no..! K-keep going..."
  1113. >You notice her stiffening up as you continue, her breathing getting audible.
  1114. >Well, that's interesting...
  1115. >You take your time with the final knot, not careful at all which patches of skin your face happens to brush up against.
  1116. >"Ahh... h-hurry up, please..."
  1117. >Finishing the last knot, the dress falls down around her body.
  1118. >It doesn't look like she was wearing anything else.
  1119.  
  1120. >"W-well? Are you just going to stare?"
  1121. >You gulp, frozen by her beauty.
  1122. "That... might actually be enough."
  1123. >She turns around with a chuckle, throwing the dress on the floor.
  1124. >"Not for me, it isn't." She tugs at your cloth. "Hurry up before I pass out."
  1125. "R-right..."
  1126. >You quickly throw off all your clothing, noticing your wife scooting closer right up to your side.
  1127. >"Let me just... get a feel."
  1128. >She reaches her hand out, aiming for your throbbing erection.
  1129. >She misses.
  1130. >"Ahh, shit... whatever." She straddles over you, pushing her hands on your chest. "Just get on your back."
  1131. >You resist the push, laughing at her failing sense of depth.
  1132. "Pfft, why do you get to be on top?"
  1133. >"Because I'm older."
  1134. "Well... I outrank you."
  1135. >"I outRAN you."
  1136. "Wow, your aim sure works fine now that you're grasping at straws."
  1137. >She pouts, falling on her back with her arms crossed.
  1138. >"Fine then, if his majesty insists..."
  1139. >You roll your eyes, getting on all fours over her.
  1140. >"Just..." Her face softens, her arms returning to her sides.
  1141. >"B-be gentle..." She looks away. "F-first time..."
  1142. >You pause, never having expected her of all people to say something like that.
  1143. "R-right..."
  1144. >You reach a hand down, touching several places before finding your target, prompting a surprisingly cute squeak.
  1145. >It's already wet.
  1146. >You gulp, wondering how you ever got to this point.
  1147. >A couple of days ago, you were absolutely convinced that the dynasty would end with you.
  1148. >Now, here you are, pushing against your aunt's entrance.
  1149. "Okay, uhh... going in."
  1150. >You have no idea what your issue was, but the one who figured out how to solve it is splayed out right below you.
  1151. >Your family may not be the biggest, but it really is the best.
  1152. >And from this day on, it's yours to protect.
  1153.  
  1154. >"Hnng..."
  1155. >You almost pull out, surprised by the intensity of the heat.
  1156. >Almost as if the Sun itself had decided to set there for the night.
  1157. "O-okay so far?"
  1158. >She wraps her arms around you, pulling you on top of her.
  1159. >"Hnnff... I-I'm good... you?"
  1160. >You push further in, barely suppressing a gasp.
  1161. "N-never better."
  1162. >Spending some time in a slow thrusting-rhythm, you notice her mounds rubbing against you.
  1163. >They're not in the same size category as your mother's, but you can't help but think they fit perfectly on her body.
  1164. >"A-alright, go fasteaaaAAH~"
  1165. >Catching her by surprise, you drum your right hand's fingertips on her left side before grabbing hold, getting a response in the form of an arched back.
  1166. "Heh... did I find your thing?"
  1167. >"S-shut it... and go faster..."
  1168. >She locks lips with you, preventing a verbal response, moaning into your mouth as you increase your pace.
  1169. >Breathing heavy, she dislodges. "Are you... getting cloaaAGHH~"
  1170. >This time you went for her left side, getting a similar reaction.
  1171. >"D-damn it..! S-stop that~" She tries to sound mad, only to fall into a short fit of giggles, which itself turns back to moaning as your thrusting never paused.
  1172. "Can't, sorry... t-too cute."
  1173. >She begins squirming under you, her hands squeezing you tighter while she meets your thrusts as best she can with your weight on top of her.
  1174. >"Ahh~, fuuuckkk..."
  1175. >You again go faster, sensing the end coming.
  1176. "I-in or out..?"
  1177. >"D-don't you dare..!"
  1178. >She does her best to crush your ribs, releasing a lengthy moan while rocking under you, milking you for all you're worth.
  1179. "F-fuck..."
  1180. >Your mind blown by the release, you immediately feel exhausted.
  1181. >Trying to roll off your wife, she doesn't let you, still on her way back to the ground.
  1182. >"Anon..."
  1183. "Y-yes..?"
  1184. >"L-love you."
  1185. >You feel elated, never having heard that from her.
  1186. "Love you too..."
  1187. >You both being tired and light-headed, no other word is spoken that night.
  1188.  
  1189. >"RISE AND SHINE, LOVEBIRDS."
  1190. >Your eyes shoot open as you're forced awake, immediately grasping your head.
  1191. "Ugh... what the fuck..?"
  1192. >Your head throbs uncontrollably, the pain rivaling your worst poisoning session.
  1193. >A tortured groan sounds from your wife, the memory of last night only a weak antidote to the headache.
  1194. >She grabs hold of you, mumbling to herself. "My head... please kill me."
  1195. "M-mother..? Why are you waking us up at, uhh..."
  1196. >"Noon?"
  1197. "W-what?!"
  1198. >You spring up, which your headache immediately makes you regret.
  1199. "No way... there's no way we slept that long."
  1200. >"Yes way." She twirls an empty cup around her fingers and points to a bucket on the floor.
  1201. >"I was considering dousing you with this, but I thought you could use a drink, since-"
  1202. "N-no..! No more alcohol, please..."
  1203. >"That's water."
  1204. >Suddenly realizing how infernally thirsty you are, you jump out of bed, ignore the cup, and nearly drown yourself in the bucket.
  1205. "Ugh... thanks..."
  1206. >Your wife crawls out of bed, grabbing your foot. "G-gimme some..."
  1207. >You fill the cup and hand it to her, who immediately gulps down the water.
  1208. >"Anon?" Your mother leans down, whispering into your ear.
  1209. >"You finished inside, right?"
  1210. >Gods, please spare me.
  1211. >You avert your eyes, making sure your wife isn't looking.
  1212. "Y-yes..."
  1213. >"And in the right hole?"
  1214. >What in the actual...
  1215. "YES..! Why would you even-"
  1216. >"Just making sure."
  1217. >Your mother drops a wad of clothing on the floor. "Get dressed."
  1218. >Oh, that's right. You're both completely naked.
  1219. >"I have a LOT of things to talk about with you."
  1220. >A knot forms in your stomach.
  1221. >You're about to take control.
  1222. >Of EVERYTHING.
  1223. >She lords over her younger sister, wearing the scariest grin you've ever seen.
  1224. >"With you, especially..."
  1225.  
  1226. >Grabbing some food on the way, you follow behind your mother, step-in-step with your wife.
  1227. >Chomping on a pineapple as she walks, Luna's hair is completely frazzled, her eyes are tired, and she's clutching her head.
  1228. >But she still looks beautiful.
  1229. "Hey, are you okay?"
  1230. >You nudge her with your elbow, speaking too low for your mother to hear.
  1231. >"Ugh, I guess..."
  1232. "So... do you want something?"
  1233. >"Mwuh..?"
  1234. "If it makes you happier, I can get anything done."
  1235. >She seems to lighten up, showing a slight smile as she leans into you.
  1236. >"I'm touched that you trust me not to bankrupt the realm."
  1237. >She drops the pineapple on the floor like trash, freeing her hand up to grasp yours.
  1238. >"I can't think of anything, really.." She leans her head on your shoulder.
  1239. >"Since I already have you..."
  1240. >You try not to fall face-first on the floor, as pulling her down with you would mean she might get hurt.
  1241. >She mentioned something about you having changed last night, but she seems like a completely different person herself.
  1242. >"Welcome to my study!"
  1243. >Your mother flings open a door, revealing the most lifeless room in the palace.
  1244. >Tables, mountains of scrolls, writing utensils, drawers full of scrolls, some chairs, even more scrolls...
  1245. >"Have a seat!"
  1246. >She points to a specific table, looking strangely excited.
  1247. >You sit beside your wife, gulping at the papery mountain in front of you.
  1248. >"This is where all the magic happens." She opens one of the scrolls, showing you it's contents.
  1249. >"Taxation records!"
  1250. >Yeah... magical.
  1251. >"At the first of every month, every noble in the kingdom sends us one of these. Your job..."
  1252. >She eyes her sister, making clear that she's addressing you both.
  1253. >"...is to sum this all up, and add the figure to the treasury registry. Easy, right?"
  1254. >"Err... Tia? You say 'every noble'... aren't there hundreds of them..?"
  1255. >"Luna, I should introduce you to a friend of mine."
  1256. >Your mother shows teeth, glaring at her sister.
  1257. >"His name's Reality. I don't believe you've met."
  1258.  
  1259. >"Aaaanooon~" Luna jumps into your lap, wrapping her arms around you.
  1260. >"Some old woman is bullying your wife, please help meee~"
  1261. >You gulp, seeing your mother rolling her eyes.
  1262. "Ehh... don't we have scribes for this kind of grunt work?"
  1263. >"Well, as the old saying goes..."
  1264. >Your mother holds up a finger and clears her throat, putting on her lecturing pose.
  1265. >"He who controlleth the gold, controlleth the kingdom. Gods and titles be damned."
  1266. >Luna whistles, feigning impression.
  1267. >"What a delightfully blasphemous saying. I wonder what the high priest would say..?"
  1268. >Your mother chuckles, leaning into her sister's face.
  1269. >"Don't care. If that old knave steps out of line again, I'll bury him alive like the dung beetle that he is."
  1270. "O-OKAY..."
  1271. >You interrupt, not wanting to see this get bloody.
  1272. >Huffing as they turn their heads away from each other, you breathe a sigh of relief.
  1273. >It's almost as if these two don't get along very well, or something...
  1274. >Your mother breaks the silence. "There are other things to go over, but I guess we'll just take this one thing at a time..."
  1275. >"Yes, please." Your wife waves her away. "And send some drinks up here, will you? If we're going to be here for hours-"
  1276. >"Absolutely not."
  1277. >She blinks, surprised by the sharpness of the reply.
  1278. >"Fine, then I'll go." She stands up off your lap, walking for the door. "I'll be right-"
  1279. >"Luna, no." Your mother stops her sister in her tracks, grabbing her by the wrist. "You need to stop drinking."
  1280. >"The hell I do. You're not my mother."
  1281. >"Could've fooled me..."
  1282. >Looking increasingly angry, Luna tries breaking free, pulling her hand back. "Let. Go."
  1283. >"Promise you'll stop."
  1284. >"Why?" Again she attempts freeing herself, with no success. "Why do you suddenly care about-"
  1285. >"It's for your child."
  1286. >Luna seems to choke on those words, her resistance melting.
  1287. >Released from the grip, your wife slowly takes her seat beside you, looking embarrassed.
  1288. >"O-okay... I'll stop."
  1289.  
  1290. >"You're not just saying that, are you?"
  1291. >Beginning to sweat a little, you mostly tune out the argument, having something else on your mind.
  1292. >A child. YOUR child.
  1293. >You knew it would have to happen, but now it's starting to feel a bit TOO real.
  1294. >An actual, living, breathing, eating, shitting...
  1295. >"No, of course I'll stop." Your wife grumbles, insulted by the question. "What kind of degenerate do you take me for?"
  1296. >Your mother raises her eyebrows. "Is that a serious question..?"
  1297. >You don't like how much time they're spending on this subject. Luna's not an addict, is she?
  1298. >Swallowing some saliva, you recall how quickly she downed seven whole cups...
  1299. >"Entirely. After all, haven't you heard?"
  1300. >Luna unexpectedly pulls you into a hug while proudly pointing a thumb at herself, breaking your trance.
  1301. >"I'm monogamous now!"
  1302. >"Indeed." Your mother does not look impressed, clapping sarcastically. "And to that I say, well done... Anon."
  1303. >Gods help you, now *you're* being pulled into this.
  1304. >Without doubt, the greatest of challenges facing your reign will be to get your wife and mother on friendly terms.
  1305. >Nevermind famines, plagues, or rivers turning into blood...
  1306. >"Unbelievable!" Luna bellows, painfully close to your ear. "Can you for once give me SOME credit?"
  1307. >"Sure." Your mother responds, smugly crossing her arms. "You've done splendidly, lasting twelve whole hours."
  1308. >You hang your head in despair, only for Luna to turn her attention to you, noticing your discomfort.
  1309. >"Best twelve hours of my life, even with the hangover..."
  1310. >She pecks your cheek, shooting sparks through your face.
  1311. "Aww, stop... love you too."
  1312. >You share a moment in each other's arms, your mother's look softening.
  1313. >"Well... I suppose this could've gone worse."
  1314. >You can hardly believe your ears.
  1315. >A concession! There is still hope!
  1316. >Now, all Luna has to do is to humbly return the gesture...
  1317. >"Wow, the tyrant DOES have a heart!"
  1318.  
  1319. >"A TYRANT?" Your mother balls her fists. "I am NOT taking that from a drunkard layabout."
  1320. >Luna jumps on her feet, defiant as ever.
  1321. >"If not me, how about all those girls you threatened to have killed if they so much as touched your son?"
  1322. >"Are they allowed to say it? Is anyone?"
  1323. >Your mother speaks through her teeth, clearly holding back anger. "That's a security measure. It's *necessary*."
  1324. >"It's PARANOID." Your wife practically spits.
  1325. >"Our brother's been dead for a LONG time. It would make all our lives a LOT easier if you would just GET OVER IT already."
  1326. >Yeah, no. This has gone far enough.
  1327. "STOP."
  1328. >Seething, your mother storms out without another word, slamming the door behind her.
  1329. >"Ugh... my head." Luna just looks irritated at the slamming noise.
  1330. >You gnash your teeth, not believing your ears.
  1331. "What the fuck was that?"
  1332. >That was a total communication breakdown. It's always the same, except you can't put much blame on your mother for this one.
  1333. "Do you actually enjoy this, or is the idea of getting along that much more repulsive to you?"
  1334. >"Getting along... with her? That's a lost cause."
  1335. "Then I guess I won't need my seer now that I have you fulfilling your own prophecies, will I? Should I go tell him to pound sand?"
  1336. >Ignoring you, she looks away while you pull open the exit.
  1337. "I'm going after her. You coming?"
  1338. >"I have work to do..."
  1339. >Wrong fucking answer.
  1340. "You know, I've always thought she was too hard on you, but..."
  1341. >As angry as you are, you don't have it in you to finish the sentence.
  1342. >Whatever. For now, mother needs you.
  1343. >Jogging through the hallway, you stop as the path forks into three, a maid standing by the junction.
  1344. >Grasping the situation, she points behind her, giving you a 'go get her' wink and a nod.
  1345. "Th-thanks..."
  1346. >You cringe at yourself.
  1347. >If there ever was a silver lining to having publicly proclaimed yourself a 'literal motherfucker', this was it.
  1348.  
  1349. >Reaching the end of the hallway, you find yourself blinded by the outside world.
  1350. "Mom..?"
  1351. >Bathed in the sunlight, you see her leaning on the balcony, looking over the endless desert wastes.
  1352. >"Dispensing with the formalities, Anon? Careful, or apparently I might lock you up..."
  1353. >You notice a pyramid structure peaking over the horizon. It's your father's tomb, and she's looking right at it.
  1354. "S-she didn't mean that."
  1355. >Your mother looks back at you, empty smile on her face.
  1356. >"I know you mean well, but you can't apologize for her."
  1357. "She'll do it herself, I promise..!"
  1358. >And if she doesn't, as nauseating as the thought is to consider, you may have made a mistake...
  1359. >Liquid pooling in your mother's eyes, she reaches a hand out, her voice shaky.
  1360. >"C-can I..?"
  1361. >You take the initiative without a second thought and wrap your arms around her, getting an immediate reciprocation.
  1362. >Catching you by surprise, she squeezes much harder than you, sucking up a breath that sounds too close to a sob for your liking.
  1363. >"Sometimes, I wish I could just hold you like this and never let go..."
  1364. >Forcing some air back into your lungs, you do your best to match her strength, touched by her words.
  1365. "A-anytime. I'm not going anywhere, I just wish you two could get along."
  1366. >She plants a kiss on your cheek, pulling away.
  1367. >"If she wants to talk, I'll be where I always am. If not, well..."
  1368. >She ruffles your hair, her smile now genuine.
  1369. >"As long as this marriage makes you happy, I'll support it."
  1370. >You can't shake the feeling that she's saying this at her own expense.
  1371. >Oh gods, please expel this guilt...
  1372. >Your head perks up, hearing footsteps.
  1373. >A figure steps out of the shadows of the hallway, wearing familiar clothing and unmistakably blue hair, sparkling as it gets exposed to the sunlight.
  1374. >The sudden rush of relief almost overwhelms you.
  1375. >She came..!
  1376.  
  1377. >Luna stops a good distance away, awkwardly avoiding eye contact with either of you.
  1378. >"Tia..." She holds her hands behind her back, acting apprehensive. "S-sorry..."
  1379. >Crossing her arms, your mother walks right up to her sister's face, casting an intimidating shadow over her.
  1380. >"About what?"
  1381. >Your wife hangs her head, strands of hair falling over her face.
  1382. >"I... I spoke out of turn... I'm sorry."
  1383. >"Good, you should be. Anything else?"
  1384. >You hear an audible gulp, Luna's composure clearly showing weakness.
  1385. >"And... s-sorry I called you a tyrant..."
  1386. >Your mother continues to viciously stare her down, giving no quarter.
  1387. >"Don't waste my time with irrelevancies."
  1388. >And just like that, all your relief turns into horror.
  1389. >The fuck, mom? Isn't this what you wanted?
  1390. >Your wife starts to tremble, taking a half-step back.
  1391. >"If that's all you think you have to apologize for, then we're done here."
  1392. >"OKAY, I'M SORRY." She shouts, taking a ragged breath.
  1393. >"I'M SORRY I'm a lazy reprobate, I'M SORRY I'm an embarrassment to the family, I'M SORRY I'm a compulsive addict..."
  1394. >Her voice falters, tears dripping on the stone floor as she falls on her knees.
  1395. >"A-and I'm sorry I tried to manipulate your son into feeding my addictions... h-he just ended up as my next addiction, a-and..."
  1396. >Trailing off into barely-held back sobs, you watch dumbfounded, not least by your mother's continued lack of reaction.
  1397. >"Rise."
  1398. >The cold tone of voice seems to cut her like a sword, but she stands up regardless, facing her judgement.
  1399. >"That's enough..." Your mother's act cracks as soon as her sister is fully upright, swiftly pulling her into an affectionate hug.
  1400. >"M-more than enough..."
  1401. >Your wife melts into the embrace, yet still looking reluctant.
  1402. >"B-but... you were right, I'm not worthy. I-It's just an addict-"
  1403. >Your mother cuts her sister off with a squeeze, sniffling through her nose. "Get a grip, Luna."
  1404. >"You're not addicted to your husband, you're just in love."
  1405.  
  1406. >"I... I am..?" Luna pulls her head off her sister's shoulder, their eyes meeting.
  1407. >You stumble backwards, holding your nose in case some blood decides to force its way through.
  1408. >W-what was that last part..?
  1409. >Hell, what was ANY of that? Wasn't this supposed to be about that spat they just had?
  1410. >Your mother wipes a tear off Luna's cheek with a finger, smiling radiantly.
  1411. >"You've already thrown away your lifestyle for your husband, haven't you? Does that sound like something a shameless hedonist would do?"
  1412. >Looking speechless, she again surrenders to the embrace, returning it for the first time.
  1413. >Standing ten feet away, you feel completely out of place.
  1414. >They look like they've just been reunited after 40 years of wandering the desert, and you might as well be sculpting the scene.
  1415. >"I'm convinced, you'll do a fine job fulfilling your role."
  1416. >Do they even realize you're still here..?
  1417. >Your mother looks back at you, her sister's face buried in her shoulder.
  1418. >"Assuming you still prefer this arrangement, Anon."
  1419. >Wait, what?
  1420. >She waves you over, releasing her sister, who seems reluctant to let go.
  1421. "W-what was that..?"
  1422. >Noticing your wife shying away, you keep your eyes fixed on the floor.
  1423. >"You're the boss, obviously."
  1424. >She lays a hand on your shoulder, giving you a smile with 'go easy on her' written all over it.
  1425. >"If either of you need any help with anything, you know where I'll be~"
  1426. >With that, your mother walks away with a spring in her step, leaving her sister standing awkwardly in front of you.
  1427. >Perhaps not surprisingly, your wife looks like she's expecting you to send her into exile on a camel with only the clothes on her back.
  1428. >Of course your mother knows you're not about to do that, but instead of calming Luna's overly active impulses herself, she's leaving that to you.
  1429. >For the thousandth time in your life... thanks, mom.
  1430.  
  1431. "Err... *ahem*"
  1432. >She rubs her ankle with her foot, still looking away.
  1433. >"If you want to remarry, I'd understand..."
  1434. >Well, that's a hell of a way to break the sand.
  1435. "I'd rather not... would you?"
  1436. >She looks on the verge of tears again, her eyes darting around.
  1437. >"N-no..."
  1438. "There you go, then! Sure sounds simple to me."
  1439. >You laugh nervously, hoping she gets the message and lightens up.
  1440. >"R-really..?"
  1441. >YES, WOMAN. REALLY.
  1442. >Wasn't that direct enough? What else can you even say?
  1443. >You pause, suddenly recalling the words of that eccentric poetry tutor you had a couple of years back.
  1444. >'Show instead of tell, if you want to excel.'
  1445. >Did that compulsive rhymer really manage to make herself useful, teaching literally the most useless subject imaginable?
  1446. >Your wife jolts as you lay your hands on her shoulders, forcing eye contact.
  1447. >Well shit, here goes nothing. Where are those barrels of beer when you need them?
  1448. >You lean forward, smacking your lips against hers, making the contact quick rather than messy.
  1449. "There, see? I'm not mad."
  1450. >She goes from shocked to confused in an instant.
  1451. >"You're... not?"
  1452. "Pfft, this marriage is already entirely on my terms, getting mad now would be putting the chariot before the horse."
  1453. >As quickly as a gust of wind, she wraps her arms around your chest, pushing her cheek against it.
  1454. >"I promise..." Her voice cracks. "I'll never even TOUCH another soul for as long as I live..."
  1455. "Heh, don't make promises you can't possibly keep, you impulsive lunatic."
  1456. >You lay your arms around her, returning the hug.
  1457. "That would just make *me* look bad, and I doubt you'll be able to keep mom away."
  1458. >You've never seen her as happy as she was when she left.
  1459. >She was practically skipping, and you've not known her for being reserved around the objects of her affection...
  1460.  
  1461. "So, how about those taxes we're supposed to be doing?"
  1462. >Looking down, she finally seems relaxed.
  1463. >"Please don't make me walk back there..."
  1464. >She moves the hug up to your neck and goes limp, hanging off of you.
  1465. >"I'll go if you carry me."
  1466. >Huh? This again?
  1467. "Something wrong with your feet?"
  1468. >"Yes, they're hung over, like my head. You said you'd do anything, right?"
  1469. >Ah, good. She's back to normal for sure, now.
  1470. "Can't I just build you a giant statue, or something..?"
  1471. >"No, I don't want you to bankrupt the realm." She huffs, sounding proud. "Because I am a responsible adult!"
  1472. "I can call it a public works project, so I won't have to pay anyone."
  1473. >She grumbles, leveraging more of her weight on you.
  1474. "Fine, no statue."
  1475. >You reach a hand under her knees and the other under her back, hoisting her up while she tightens her grip around your neck.
  1476. >She's surprisingly light.
  1477. "I take it this is your fetish, then?"
  1478. >"S-shut up."
  1479. >Walking out the exit and through the hallway, a pair of maids turn their heads as you pass, whispering between each other.
  1480. >Wow, is a guy not allowed to carry his wife in his own home?
  1481. >"I-it's not that, it's just... nostalgic."
  1482. >She shifts her grip around you, getting more comfortable.
  1483. "How so?"
  1484. >Feeling her breathing on your neck, your heart starts racing.
  1485. >"Your dad used to carry me everywhere when I was a kid. He'd order people around with me on his shoulder."
  1486. "Sounds like a great guy."
  1487. >"Yeah." She sighs, her voice reminiscent. "Great brother, terrible ruler."
  1488. >After the wedding, you get the feeling that he's somewhat controversial...
  1489. "What did he do, exactly..?"
  1490. >"I wish I knew, I wasn't old enough to be told anything back then."
  1491. >Reaching the end, you find the door to the study not only unlocked, but wide open.
  1492. >"I lost count of how many rebellions Tia crushed in the years after he died, so he must have pissed off a lot of people..."
  1493.  
  1494. >This is a security violation your mother will never hear about if you can help it.
  1495. >Shutting the door, you walk to the table you were sitting at earlier.
  1496. >You've gone through enough today without having to sit through a lecture on how your mountain of yellow rocks is the only reason you're still even breathing.
  1497. "Okay, we should split the work somehow... do you want to do the upper provinces, or the lower?"
  1498. >You give your wife a shake, but she only bunches closer up against you instead of getting on her feet.
  1499. >"Damn, should I do your upper or lower... pfft-" She giggles. "Can't I pick both?"
  1500. "Uhh, no..."
  1501. >What is she, insane? Does she not see the mountain of scrolls on the table?
  1502. "Fine, if you can't pick, we'll split it chronologically. You do the nobles with the early dates, I'll do the latter."
  1503. >"Anon, please..." She snorts, holding down laughter. "I'm a married woman."
  1504. >What is this? Where on earth is she finding humor in *taxes*?
  1505. "Alphabetically, then, by the names of the houses. I'll do the consonants, you do the-"
  1506. >"YES."
  1507. >She jumps out of your hold, grasping you by the shoulders.
  1508. >"That works! I'll do the A's, you do the L's!"
  1509. "But... that wouldn't even cover a TENTH of the-"
  1510. >"ANON, YOU'RE KILLING ME."
  1511. >You recoil, your wife practically spitting.
  1512. "I'm... not following..."
  1513. >She wipes a tear from her eye, toeing the line between light giggles and an unstoppable fit.
  1514. >"You're adorable. Think this through one more time."
  1515. >She flicks your nose, grinning seductively.
  1516. >"You literally just carried me into a secluded room where we'll be alone for hours, and you thought all we'd be doing are TAXES."
  1517. "Uhh-OH. You're saying..."
  1518. >Shit. You'd be ashamed if you weren't so aroused.
  1519. >"Yes, Anon..."
  1520. >You bump foreheads, your wife licking her lips.
  1521. >"If you insist on splitting something, I have a suggestion..."
  1522. "O-okay..."
  1523. >She leans forward, whispering into your ear.
  1524. >"Split my 'lower provinces'. Like the Red Sea."
  1525.  
  1526. >Luna jumps on top of the table, bumping the scroll mountain.
  1527. >She waves you over, not caring at all about the papyrus avalanche rumbling onto the floor.
  1528. "You're picking those up yourself after we're done."
  1529. >"Uggghh..." She feigns dismay, reaching a hand down her feet.
  1530. >"I guess I'll just delay as long as possible and hope you'll forget..."
  1531. >She picks up the hem of her skirt and bites on it with her teeth, flashing you everything.
  1532. >BE PATIENT, TAXES. YOU'LL GET YOUR TURN.
  1533. "Right..!"
  1534. >One little flip of your robes was enough to expose your gardens, surprisingly.
  1535. >These robes came from your mother. Does she plan EVERYTHING?
  1536. >"H-hurry up."
  1537. >She speaks out the side of her mouth, her grip on her skirt shifted to her leftern wisdom teeth.
  1538. >"I'm about to lose my griAAH-"
  1539. "Wow, I almost forgot how jumpy you are."
  1540. >The slightest brush of your hand on her leg was all it took...
  1541. >"I guess I didn't get you drunk enouaaAAA~"
  1542. >You part her nether with your fingers, finding them surprisingly damp.
  1543. >"I-if you want me to shut up, just say so, damn it..."
  1544. "No way. I can't wait to hear all about how adorable I am."
  1545. >"F-fine." She exhales, a daring grin on her face.
  1546. >Oh, she's taking the challenge?
  1547. >"You'll always be my cute little nnnnhnn-" You push all the way in, feeling around for her nub with your thumb.
  1548. >"-nnnephew."
  1549. >She throws her arms over you, burying her face in your shoulder.
  1550. >"S-saw that coming..."
  1551. >She's clearly trying to cover up how hard she's breathing.
  1552. >And damn, is she drooling on you?
  1553. >You twitch inside of her.
  1554. "You know what, nevermind. I'm just going to..."
  1555. >She cuts you off with a gasp, telling you your thumb found its target.
  1556. >That 'lesson' from your mother is really turning out to be priceless...
  1557. >You settle into a regular thrusting rhythm, getting some approving grunts out of your wife as a response.
  1558. >She wraps her furry foot around your ankle, gasping as you-
  1559. >Wait. WHAT?
  1560.  
  1561. >That is most definitely NOT A FOOT.
  1562. >You look over your shoulder, aiming just behind the spot you're standing on.
  1563. >A familiar, fuzzy mass with a pitch-black coat is rubbing its head on your ankles.
  1564. >WHY? WHY NOW?
  1565. >You tense up, taking a nervous breath.
  1566. >THERE'S A CAT IN THE ROOM.
  1567. >And not just any cat, gods damn it...
  1568. >What the hell should you do? Stop and throw it out, then continue as if nothing ever happened?
  1569. >"D-don't stop..."
  1570. >OKAY, THAT SETTLES THAT.
  1571. >You pick up your lost tempo, shiver running up your spine as the cat's tail tickles your shin.
  1572. >"K-keep going... with the thumb..."
  1573. >She'll never, ever let you live this down if she notices, will she?
  1574. >It certainly won't help quell those weird rumors about you and cats...
  1575. "R-r-right..."
  1576. >You rub your thumb along the fleshy button, clearing your throat unnecessarily loudly as another purr sounds from the cat.
  1577. >SHUT UP, DAMN IT.
  1578. >You carefully speed up your thrusting, the pressure from the arms around you increasing.
  1579. >"Ooh~"
  1580. >She didn't hear the purr, Horus is still with you!
  1581. >The cat continues its relentless assault on your ankles with its body, messing with your focus.
  1582. >"H-harder... almost there..."
  1583. >LIVE IN THE PRESENT, ANON.
  1584. >Grabbing two handfuls of ass, you slam repeatedly into your wife with all your might, pushing the cat away from your thoughts.
  1585. >Calm the fuck down, you are in the middle of pummeling the insides of your gorgeous aunt. A privilege like none other.
  1586. >Nothing could possibly spoil that... right?
  1587. >The cat starts wailing, too loud for the creaking table to cover up.
  1588. >QUICK, THINK OF SOMETHING.
  1589. "Err... Y-YEAH..! T-TAKE IT... UP YOUR... L-LIKE A..."
  1590. >SHUT UP, THIS ISN'T HELPING.
  1591. >You pound away with reckless abandon, coughing up a fabricated storm as the feline whines continue.
  1592. >If you're going to dig yourself into a hole, you might as well properly finish off the one you're already in.
  1593.  
  1594. >Your wife bites down on the fabric covering your shoulder as you spray your divine seed into her.
  1595. >She rocks her hips into you, letting out some muffled moans as she pumps you for everything you're worth.
  1596. >The room is eventually filled with nothing but your mutual breathing, still locked in a lewd embrace.
  1597. >Not a peep from the cat since you finished. Is it reading the atmosphere?
  1598. >Now, all you have to do is snatch it up while your wife isn't looking, and make up some excuse to leave...
  1599. >She wraps her legs around your waist, preventing you from pulling out.
  1600. >"Does his highness need some tea for his cough?"
  1601. >Uh-oh...
  1602. "N-no... it's just, you know... the season."
  1603. >You gulp, very conscious of the ball of fur laying on your toes.
  1604. >"And if you thought that acting less vanilla than you actually are would make you any less adorable, you are SORELY mis-"
  1605. >A loud purr sounds from below, freezing you in your tracks.
  1606. >She pulls away from the hug, looking down at your feet.
  1607. >Making eye contact with the cat, she looks back up at you, her expression unreadable.
  1608. >"Huh, isn't this the cat from the other day?"
  1609. >You look down, putting on a laughably bad show of ignorance.
  1610. "Uhh, w-what's this..?"
  1611. >Her face turns from neutral to a positively murderous grin.
  1612. >"It was there the whole time, wasn't it?"
  1613. "O-okay, yes... but this has a completely benign explanation."
  1614. >"Really? You didn't think of shoving it away with your foot..?"
  1615. >FUCK.
  1616. "W-well, I was so mesmerized by your boundless beauty, I couldn't think of anything but, uhh..."
  1617. >"Finish that sentence, you adorable prude. I promise I can take it."
  1618. >Adorable prude..? Okay, fine.
  1619. "...P-POUNDING PUSSY."
  1620. >She raises her eyebrows, otherwise not responding.
  1621. "What? You said you could take-"
  1622. >Hearing a purr from the cat and a snort from your wife, you feel yourself descending into this hole of your own making.
  1623. >Nice choice of words there, idiot.
  1624. "Damn it, I am NOT into CATS."
  1625.  
  1626. >She releases you from her grip, finally letting you pull out.
  1627. >"Pfft, why are you freaking out? We all have our kinks."
  1628. "Who's freaking out? Not me. I have no bestial inclinations to freak out about, nope."
  1629. >Your eyes wander down, noticing the cat staring straight into your soul.
  1630. "Incest is my only kink."
  1631. >That was meant for the cat as much as your wife.
  1632. >"That's not a kink, that's just you being royalty."
  1633. "I have NO kinks, then."
  1634. >You crouch down with a sigh and rub behind the cat's ears, starting to feel guilty.
  1635. "And really, shoving her away for the crime of wanting some food? Harsh."
  1636. >The worst part is that you'd probably have done it, had the thought crossed your mind...
  1637. >"...*her*?"
  1638. >Just grab a shovel already, this hole won't dig itself.
  1639. "I ONLY know that because I happened to witness her... mating."
  1640. >"Oh..?"
  1641. "A-AND because I saw her nursing kittens."
  1642. >Shit, why wasn't that the first thing you said..?
  1643. >If you were smart, you'd shut your mouth for the rest of the week, but alas, it's high time for you to conquer her shit-talk.
  1644. "Look, our relationship is as pure and innocent as I was before you started fucking with me."
  1645. >"Oh, I hope so." Your wife snorts. "She sounds a bit *too* close to my officially designated slit-splitter, if you ask me."
  1646. >Wow, vulgar.
  1647. "I was a kid with no playmates and she started following me around, what was I supposed to do?"
  1648. >You cross your arms, glaring back at her.
  1649. "I even gave her a name at one point. You jealous?"
  1650. >"Pfft, you gave a NAME to a cat? What a novel idea, does it do anything with it?"
  1651. "Like I said, all I had back then was a warlord mother, nervous servants, and a perverted aunt."
  1652. >Bring it.
  1653. >"What, *I'm* perverted..?"
  1654. >She waves dismissively, rolling her eyes.
  1655. >"Aren't you the guy who popped his first boner watching his mother get tongue-fucked in the mouth by her little sister..?"
  1656. >NEVERMIND, YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE.
  1657.  
  1658. "Y-yes, but... I'm not this VULGAR."
  1659. >"Oh, excuse me." She coughs into her fist. "Ahem..."
  1660. >Wait, please no...
  1661. >"Ist thou not the one who erected thine maiden obelisk whilst observing thine mother receiving sensual oral-"
  1662. "THIS IS WORSE. THIS IS MUCH WORSE."
  1663. >Needing a distraction, you pick the cat up on its back in your arms, looking at the sundial on the windowsill.
  1664. "WOW, would you look at the time..? We can't be slacking off with these taxation rec-uhh..."
  1665. >Looking genuinely spooked, your wife takes a step back, her eyes glued to the animal.
  1666. "...what? Cat got your tongue?"
  1667. >"Y-you can hold them like that..?"
  1668. "What, like this?"
  1669. >You cradle it in your right arm, wiggling your left hand over its head for it to paw at.
  1670. "If it's used to it. Why?"
  1671. >"N-no reason..."
  1672. >She looks away with a blush, her hands restless.
  1673. >Did you just find a chink in her armor?
  1674. >She was actually a cat-lover all along? Shit, this marriage might actually work out.
  1675. "Want to try?"
  1676. >"Huh? Oh, uhh..." She walks over, slowly extending her hands. "...if you insist."
  1677. >Wow, talk about transparency.
  1678. "Just don't be surprised if she doesn't trust you."
  1679. >You hand the cat over to your wife, surprisingly without it protesting.
  1680. >She fumbles around a bit, eventually managing to settle it upside-down in her arms.
  1681. "Cats are pretty great, right?"
  1682. >"Huh? Oh, sure, yeah... cats."
  1683. "They get by on their own, they love mingling with people, and they hunt *snakes* just for the fun of it. It's the PERFECT animal."
  1684. >Stuck in eye contact with the 'perfect animal', she rocks it a little, testing its reactions.
  1685. >She's not listening, is she?
  1686. >"It's... it's almost like a... like a..."
  1687. >The cat flips itself over and gets dropped on the floor, jumping on a chair to get a good view of the humans in the room.
  1688. "Ahh, you freaked her out. Try being more relaxed the next time you-"
  1689. >"A-Anon?"
  1690. >Breathing heavy, she rushes over to you, grabbing your hands.
  1691. "Yes..?"
  1692. >"H-HOW MANY DO YOU WANT?"
  1693.  
  1694. >You recoil, raising an eyebrow.
  1695. "How many..? It's not like I can just OWN them, they go wherever they want."
  1696. >"I... no, damn it, I didn't mean-"
  1697. "But I kind of already do own them just like I own this kingdom, so I suppose it's a redundant question..."
  1698. >"ENOUGH OF THE CATS."
  1699. >Whoa, not cool.
  1700. >She squeezes your hands harder, almost hyperventilating into your face.
  1701. "Are you feeling well? Did the season get to you, too?"
  1702. >"N-no." She snakes a hand into your robes. "I just... need more..."
  1703. "A-already??"
  1704. >You step away, but she just follows, falling against you.
  1705. "Hold your fucking camels, can I get some time to BREATHE?"
  1706. >You tense up as her fingers find your limb, the touch more uncomfortable than not.
  1707. "Look, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak..."
  1708. >"Then don't work me up like this, you asshole..."
  1709. >The hell did you do?
  1710. "If you really can't wait, my tongue is perfectly functional, j-just saying..."
  1711. >Breathing even harder, she gulps, sounding more hungry than playful.
  1712. >"Y-you'd do that, JUST after finishing inside..?"
  1713. "Shit, wait... now that I think about it..."
  1714. >She takes a deep breath, calming herself down.
  1715. >"That's what I thought. Sit down, I have a plan."
  1716. >A plan, by the queen of impulse herself? This ought to be good.
  1717. >You stretch for a chair, sitting with your hands down your sides, your wife immediately getting on her knees to fish out your semi-erection.
  1718. >"Rise for your queen, peasant! Your services are required!"
  1719. >Peasant..?
  1720. >She stares down your 'peasant', waiting for something to happen.
  1721. "Try promoting his social standing, that would at least be one kind of 'rise'."
  1722. >"Well, worth the try..."
  1723. >She's joking, right?
  1724. >She lowers her head just over the tip, parting her lips.
  1725. >"Now shut up and behold my backup plan!"
  1726. >Oh, now THERE'S a plan.
  1727. >"Trust in your elders, will you? I've got this aaaall~ figured out..."
  1728.  
  1729. >She descends further, the first contact with your head being the gentle carress of-
  1730. "T-TEETH!"
  1731. >You force your hands down, suppressing your every instinct.
  1732. "D-did you just BITE?"
  1733. >"Huh?" She looks up, confused. "Isn't that how this works?"
  1734. "Are... are you for real..?"
  1735. >These jokes aren't all that funny anymore.
  1736. >She crosses her arms, awkwardly looking away.
  1737. >"H-hey, I've been totally celibate my entire life, alright? T-technically, that is..."
  1738. >If you ever needed absolute, arrow-proof confirmation that you're her first male partner...
  1739. >She uncrosses her arms, staring at the door.
  1740. "Still. If this how you treat your peasants-"
  1741. >Your own eyes follow, the sight shutting you up immediately.
  1742. >The door is wide open.
  1743. >And it's being HELD open.
  1744. >By your MOTHER.
  1745. >"T-t-t-tia..? W-why are you..?"
  1746. >Shit.
  1747. >"I just thought I'd help you two out with the..." Your mother notices the mess of scrolls on the floor. "...taxes."
  1748. >"Uhh... this all has a completely benign explanation..."
  1749. >Your mother notices the cat, her eyes widening.
  1750. >SHIT.
  1751. >"What's a cat doing in a room full of scrolls..?"
  1752. >Horus bless your pragmatist mother! Her only concern is the cat destroying the records, not any of your totally non-existent fetishes...
  1753. >"I... may have forgotten to close the door..."
  1754. >"Well..." She waves at your wife, turning to leave. "Don't let me interrupt your show of dominance over your rival..."
  1755. "I AM NOT INTO-"
  1756. >Fuck this, why do you even try?
  1757. "How long were you watching, anyways?"
  1758. >"Oh, I just opened the door." She eyes your wife, giving her a wink. "If I were spying, I'd be a LOT more careful."
  1759. >Your wife shrinks into you, which you can't resist welcoming. "Wait... you KNEW? D-did you see me through the window..?"
  1760. >"Court intrigue is your lesson for tomorrow, dear sister." She steps out, waving again.
  1761. >Luna hastily gets on her feet, stopping your mother.
  1762. >"W-wait..."
  1763.  
  1764. >Your wife whispers something to her sister, clutching her elder's robes.
  1765. >They've been going at it for a while now, and you're just sitting here, having your limp dick stared at by a cat.
  1766. >You'd call it over, but you're still not entirely sure how how much of a joke your alleged cat-fetish actually is...
  1767. >Their eyes trail on you, your mother giggling, your wife looking heavily embarrassed.
  1768. >"Aww, Luna, you're adorable."
  1769. >Heh, serves her right.
  1770. >Your mother brushes some hair out of her sister's face, giving her an affectionate peck on the cheek.
  1771. >"Of course I'll help, and I can't tell you how happy I am that you'd ask."
  1772. >WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT, DAMN IT?
  1773. >"T-thanks..." Your wife looks redder than ever, clutching her arm.
  1774. "Well..? The suspense is killing me."
  1775. >Your mother lowers the wooden bar on the door without a word, locking it shut.
  1776. >The cat is still in here, but whatever...
  1777. "Mother..?"
  1778. >She finally walks over to you, smiling innocently.
  1779. >"May I sit?"
  1780. >What, on YOU? In a room with two dozen empty chairs?
  1781. "Sure, I guess..."
  1782. >She sits across from you on your lap, resting her forearms on your shoulders.
  1783. >"We're in private, just call me mom."
  1784. >You look past her, seeing Luna already with the cat back in her arms, both of them staring at you.
  1785. >This is what she calls private..?
  1786. >"Would you mind if I did my sister a teensy favor?"
  1787. "Would you mind if I asked you to hurry up and tell me what it is?"
  1788. >"Not at all. Ask away."
  1789. >You're really not feeling these jokes today.
  1790. "If the favor's for her, what are you doing on me..?"
  1791. >She leans forward and whispers into your ear, resting her hands on your legs, suspiciously close to your exposed limb.
  1792. >"She took her time to get to the point, but she asked for a lesson on how not to disappoint you, basically."
  1793. "W-what?"
  1794. >"She's fallen for you, Anon. Hard."
  1795.  
  1796. >Sweat starts forming on your forehead, your peasant starting to come back to life.
  1797. "Stop messing with my head... there's no way."
  1798. >"Trust me, she's smitten. It's blatantly obvious."
  1799. "H-how can you be so sure? Isn't she just feeling guilty?"
  1800. >Your mother giggles, still speaking too low for your wife to hear.
  1801. >"Don't rationalize it. She seems willing to do actual work, I don't think you understand how monumental that is."
  1802. >Was she really THAT bad?
  1803. >"That's something I could never do, but you and your manly charms did it in a *day*."
  1804. >You tense up, not sure if she's just trying to boost your ego.
  1805. >"If you were even half as proud of yourself as I am, you'd be the most arrogant man alive."
  1806. >Blood rushes into your face, warm breaths hitting your ear.
  1807. >"Can you stop whispering, already?" Your wife pipes up, scratching the cat. "You're talking about me, aren't you?"
  1808. >Wow, hypocrite.
  1809. >"Right." Your mother pulls back, flicking some stray strands of hair over her shoulders.
  1810. >"How long since your last finish?"
  1811. >OH BOY, HERE WE GO.
  1812. "F-five minutes, I guess..? I didn't exactly set an hourglass."
  1813. >"See, there's your first mistake, Luna. Too soon."
  1814. >She raises a finger to her sister, donning her teacher's persona without breaking eye contact with you.
  1815. >"It's not like you can just *order* it to rise."
  1816. >Your wife shrinks back.
  1817. >"O-obviously..."
  1818. >Wait... was that NOT a joke?
  1819. >"That doesn't mean you can't have any fun, it just means your foreplay needs foreplay. Pay attention."
  1820. >She keeps looking straight into your eyes, even while talking to Luna.
  1821. >It's awkward, but gods damn is it getting your blood pumping, especially given the subject...
  1822. "W-what am I supposed to do, exactly..?"
  1823. >Blushing, your mother strokes your cheek with her hand as she move closer, making you hold your breath.
  1824. >"Oh, nothing much."
  1825. >Her other hand moves to your free cheek, the purest look of adoration on her face.
  1826. >"Just allow a mother spoil her son..."
  1827.  
  1828. >She leans further forward, allowing you just enough time to hastily lick your dry lips.
  1829. >Her mouth brushing against you, she pauses, hands still on your face.
  1830. >She's clearly letting you go at your own pace, unlike that time she scared away those painters...
  1831. >You open your mouth slightly, letting her begin to gradually pry it apart with her lips.
  1832. >This is dangerous. Your head might actually catch fire.
  1833. >You put up no resistance, letting her sneak her tongue into your mouth just before uniting your two airways.
  1834. >Sensing your looming suffocation even before you, she pulls back with an amused smile, letting you catch your breath.
  1835. >"Try breathing through your nose when your mouth is busy, your majesty."
  1836. >Wow, your nose can do that? Thanks for the tip, mom.
  1837. >Apparently you're dumb enough to need it.
  1838. >Being the mouth-breather that you are, you leave it hanging open, a fact your mother takes full advantage of.
  1839. >She dips into you a trio of kisses, each one carrying more urgency and tongue than the last, while her hand finds your left forearm.
  1840. >"Don't keep your hands to yourself... I'm not just here for show."
  1841. "R-RIGHT."
  1842. >Awkwardly handling her midsection, you eventually stumble on a gap in her robes.
  1843. >Picking a spot of bare skin on her lower back, you run it up her spinal column, figuring it's a good enough start.
  1844. >"Hnff~" Her face reddens further as she arches her back, inhaling sharply.
  1845. >"G-go on, this body is yours... indulge in it..."
  1846. >Snapping like a sun-dried branch under a camel's foot, you plunge back into her mouth, not caring anymore to hide your lack of skill.
  1847. >She responds like a hungry animal, pushing her tongue as far into you as she can manage as well as her body, your branch meeting the camel's toe.
  1848. >Breathe with your nose, Anon...
  1849. >Grinding against her, you greedily explore her inner mouth, her tongue teasingly tracking back.
  1850. >You can feel your her pulse.
  1851. >In several places.
  1852. >"T-tia..? I think I get the point..."
  1853.  
  1854. >One of your hands dares find the back of her head, hitting loose something metal that clangs on the floor.
  1855. >Uncountable locks of her hair fall around your head, closing your world to everything but the face in front of you.
  1856. >"T-tia? Anon? Hello?"
  1857. >Letting your hands grab whatever's in reach, your mother's robes start to unravel by themselves.
  1858. >Getting bolder by the second, your mother conversely seems to get more limp with every whimper released into your mouth.
  1859. >The tongue-wrestling coming entirely from you at this point, you wrap your arms around her as she seems about to lose her balance.
  1860. >Falling out of the kiss, she grabs hold of your robes behind your back, thrusting her lower body against you while breathing frantically.
  1861. >"Fffff-hnnggh~"
  1862. >You hear fabric ripping behind you as her head falls on your shoulder, her trembling body pushing itself against you with dangerous force.
  1863. >Finally released from her hold, you fall stunned into the chair with your mother still on top, hearing from her sounds inbetween panting and moaning.
  1864. >You look across the room, seeing your wife hugging her knees on a chair, hiding the most raging of blushes.
  1865. >You're hiding something raging, too.
  1866. "M-mom..?"
  1867. >"G-give me... a moment..."
  1868. >Silence fills the room, your mother's panting gradually quieting down.
  1869. >"O-okay..." Still breathing heavy, she attempts to push herself up, only to stumble and fall right back into you.
  1870. >"x'shoes me... I got this..."
  1871. >She waves away your helping hand before you can even offer it, staggering on her feet.
  1872. >"S-see, Luna? It's easy... you just need to... y'know..."
  1873. >She tries putting on her teacher's persona, her wild hair and barely hanging-together robes not helping.
  1874. >"...run myself ragged until I can barely stand?"
  1875. >"Ehh-heh..." Your mother sucks a breath through her teeth, stretching her neck muscles. "I *may* have gotten a little carried away..."
  1876. >"A LITTLE?"
  1877.  
  1878. >"Hey, it worked, didn't it?"
  1879. >Your mother holds her hands to her chest, preventing the loosely hanging wrappings making up her robes from falling down around her.
  1880. >Still shaking in your chair, you look your mother over, a part of you twitching as you notice her ragged look.
  1881. >She looks like she just got chased out of the local brothel after pick-pocketing a highwayman.
  1882. >Did YOU do that..?
  1883. >"Not the point." Your wife huffs, turning her head. "You were just using him to get yourself off, weren't you?"
  1884. >Looking down at your painfully throbbing length, you gulp.
  1885. >This thing can't actually snap from the tension, can it?
  1886. >"That's the point, dummy. If you just fake your pfft... PFFT-"
  1887. >Your mother blows some hair out of her face to no avail, her hands stuck clutching her robes.
  1888. >"PFFFFFT... help me out here, will you?"
  1889. >Luna sighs, pushing her hands against the cloth on your mother's front, giving her the chance to bundle up her hair.
  1890. >SHE'S TOUCHING YOUR MOTHER'S CHEST.
  1891. >Balling your hands into a pair of trembling fists, you resist the urge to deal your peasant an immediate death sentence.
  1892. >By strangulation.
  1893. >"Stay away from that cat, Anon, I'll be right there."
  1894. "WhuAAA-"
  1895. >An electric storm runs up your foot, something furry brushing against it.
  1896. >NOT NOW, DAMN IT.
  1897. >You pull up your feet, taking deep, calming breaths, finding something else to focus on.
  1898. >Luna looks like she's tying some knots, their close proximity seeming completely innocuous.
  1899. >Sisterly, even.
  1900. >"H-how did you even say some of that stuff with a straight face..?"
  1901. >"Oh, my face was NOT straight." Your mother responds with a chuckle, shifting her eyes towards you. "Right, Anon?"
  1902. >itsgonnasnapitsgonnasnapitsgonnasnap-
  1903. >"Seriously, though." Your mother turns back to her sister, playfully poking her stomach. "You'll understand, soon enough..."
  1904.  
  1905. >"I-I have no idea... w-what you..."
  1906. >Your wife's face turns red as she recoils from the finger, your mother turning to you.
  1907. >"You should probably stand for this, Anon."
  1908. >She walks over as you stand, leaving Luna to regain her wits from whatever her sister just told her.
  1909. >Attention is in very short supply at the moment.
  1910. >"Not that a lowly concubine like me has any right to tell you what to do..."
  1911. "W-what? You're actually going through with that..?"
  1912. >"Of course."
  1913. >She drops on her knees, looking up at you.
  1914. >"A proper mother always wants to take care of her children..." Her eyes drift to your nethers, then back to your eyes.
  1915. >"...no matter how big they get."
  1916. >Is she preparing for a bow, or something?
  1917. "I'm not that tall... a-average, really."
  1918. >"PFFFFT-"
  1919. "M-mom..?"
  1920. >That wasn't her hair again, was it?
  1921. >"Anon, please... h-have mercy..."
  1922. >Looking to your wife for explanation, you get nothing useful.
  1923. >Just her hiding her face behind her hands.
  1924. >You look down at your blushing mother, treated to a side-view of her ample bosom through her hastily-tied together robes.
  1925. "W-what?"
  1926. >She takes a deep breath, leaning her upper body forward to face your standing gardens.
  1927. >"L-let's just keep going..."
  1928. >RIGHT. FINALLY.
  1929. >She reaches for your hands, laying them on either side of her head.
  1930. "M-MOM..?"
  1931. >You pull your hands back.
  1932. "W-w-what are you..?"
  1933. >Your mother puffs out her chest, moving her hands behind her back.
  1934. >"I only need your hands to guide me, your majesty."
  1935. >Hands hovering inches from her ears, you gulp your tongue down your throat.
  1936. >Your eyes meeting, she tilts her head, innocently fluttering her eyelids.
  1937. >"Please..?"
  1938.  
  1939. >You reluctantly place your hand on both sides of your mother's head, the contact as light as you can make it.
  1940. >To say this feels WRONG wouldn't even begin to describe it.
  1941. >Not that you haven't done some shit that feels wrong already, but THIS IS ON ANOTHER LEVEL.
  1942. >This is probably the kind of thing that would inspire a peasant revolt, and yet...
  1943. >Your mother leans forward, breathing on your tip.
  1944. >AND YET your very own peasant has NO objections WHATSOEVER.
  1945. >"Pull my hair if I do something you don't like..."
  1946. "Your... your hair? N-no way..."
  1947. >"And if I do something you *do* like... pull my hair."
  1948. >What?
  1949. >Does she WANT her hair pulled?
  1950. >"Go ahead, give it a try..."
  1951. >She flutters her eyelids again, taking her innocent smile to new heights.
  1952. >"...please?"
  1953. >You gulp, your stomach twisting into knots.
  1954. >It should NOT be doing that.
  1955. >This all kinds of fucked up.
  1956. >YOU are all kinds of fucked up.
  1957. >A boy can find his mother appealing in all manners of understandable ways, 'appropriate' or not.
  1958. >Charming, pleasing, attractive, pretty... arousing...
  1959. >The adjectives could really go on and on.
  1960. >But CUTE?
  1961. >And while insisting that you PULL her HAIR, of all things?
  1962. >"Pleeeease..?"
  1963. >She's like a cat begging for a treat. Can you really deny her?
  1964. >No. No you can't.
  1965. >Moving your hands just above hear ears, you slowly grab two handfuls of hair, the smooth, stringy mass tickling your palms.
  1966. >As carefully as possible, you pull her face up.
  1967. >She looks up at you, mouth hanging open, her face a far darker shade of red than just a moment ago.
  1968. >"H-harder..."
  1969. >How are you possibly going to explain this to your father in the afterlife..?
  1970. >You pull her up with a little more force, the act flushing more blood into her face.
  1971. >It's having the same effect on your head. Both of them.
  1972. >"N-now, please..." She pauses, breathing heavily just millimeters from your tip. "...ravage me with your-"
  1973. >"TIA, STOP!"
  1974.  
  1975. >You let go of your mother's head, staggering back as your wife runs between you.
  1976. >"YOU'RE GETTING CARRIED AWAY AGAIN."
  1977. >She backs into you, adopting a defensive posture as if protecting you from danger.
  1978. >Shit.
  1979. >shitshitshitshit
  1980. >You were going to do it. You were actually going to do it.
  1981. >FATHER FORGIVE YOU. YOU ARE WEAK.
  1982. >"Hmm..?" Your mother stands up, dusting off her knees. "This actually WAS part of the lesson, though..."
  1983. >"SHUT UP. You know exactly what you're doing."
  1984. >She backs further into your chest, staring daggers at your mother.
  1985. >"H-how can you just take his innocence like that? His own MOTHER?"
  1986. >You stare down your aunt-wife's backside, seriously close to rubbing up against your rock-solid erection.
  1987. >WHAT IS FOCUS AND WHAT MERCHANT SELLS IT?
  1988. >"A king has no need for innocence, Luna. Just because I sometimes call him 'my little boy', doesn't mean-"
  1989. >"Camelshit. You're CLEARLY just after his body."
  1990. >What? What was that?
  1991. >"I am, am I? What are *you* after, then?"
  1992. >You mother walks over with a grin, bowing on eye-level with her sister.
  1993. >"Something less physical? Like his everlasting, eternal, undying lo-"
  1994. >"S-S-S-S-SHUT-"
  1995. >Your wife backs further into you, blushing fiercely enough for you to see from behind.
  1996. >"Or is it something tangible after all?"
  1997. >Your mother leans forward, their faces almost meeting.
  1998. >"Like something small and squirming? Something you can hold in your arms, perhaps?"
  1999. >Wait, she SAW Luna's attempt at holding the cat..?
  2000. "Huh. So you *were* spying."
  2001. >That smirk is wiped off her face really quickly.
  2002. >"I-I heard you coughing... it was a motherly reflex, I swear."
  2003. "Sure, I guess..."
  2004. >You really don't care. Not when you're *this* hard.
  2005. "Still, if she wants more cats than she can hold, I'll turn this entire palace into their breeding ground. Can we just talk about that later..?"
  2006. >"Y-YES, THANK YOU." Luna interrupts. "I do indeed want lots and lots of your... cats."
  2007.  
  2008. "Uhh... sure."
  2009. >"His *cats*?" Your mother glares at her. "Are you SURE that's what it was?"
  2010. >"L-LIKE MY BELOVED HUSBAND-NEPHEW SAID..."
  2011. >She clears her throat, a mix of nervousness and relief in her voice.
  2012. >"We can talk about that later, yes?"
  2013. >You share a look with your mother, your wife sounding desperate to get off the subject.
  2014. >"I-in the meantime, the bottomless well of wisdom - that is my dearest sister - has a tiny little mistake of mine to correct, yes? Yes?"
  2015. >A 'tiny little mistake'? Is that what she's calling the attempted decapitation of your peasant?
  2016. >"Mhm... there was that little matter of you BITING MY BOY, wasn't there?"
  2017. >Luna looks away, sighing impatiently.
  2018. >"I plead guilty and humbly request house arrest over the dungeon. Can we get on with this?"
  2019. >YES, FINALLY. This time for SURE.
  2020. >Your mother exhales, her face more serious.
  2021. >"Are you sure you're ready to inherit this ancient art, Luna? I won't go easy on you just because you're my-"
  2022. >"Y-yes, ma'am! Ready for anything!"
  2023. >Your mother laughs deviously, cracking her fists.
  2024. >"Then get on your knees, maggot. And no talking."
  2025. >Servant, teacher, and now drill sargeant? She sure likes her characters.
  2026. >"Yes, ma-I mean... shit."
  2027. >She shuts herself up, her knees touching the floor.
  2028. >"Bad posture." Your mother tisks. "Ten push-ups."
  2029. >You REALLY wish you had some way to instantly immortalize that priceless look on Luna's face.
  2030. >After a moment's consideration, she actually starts leaning down.
  2031. >"IT WAS A JOKE... just straighten up."
  2032. >Luna rolls her eyes, but complies.
  2033. >Your mother lifts her chin with a finger, a devilish glint in her face.
  2034. >"Hands behind your back. Show your king how much you trust him."
  2035. >She walks behind her younger sister, leaving the two of you in very awkward eye contact.
  2036. >"And, again..." Your mother pulls Luna's shoulders back, knee pushing up against her spine.
  2037. >"Do with your body what Anon did with your preferences. Straighten up!"
  2038.  
  2039. >"Hrrnnngghh... S-STOP... I'M STRAIGHT, okay? As an ARROW."
  2040. >Releasing her hold, your mother walks in front of her sister, joining her on her knees.
  2041. >"Heh, I believe you. Say 'ahh'."
  2042. >"Uhh..?"
  2043. >"Do I need to teach you the alphabet, too? Open wide, I need to make sure you don't asphyxiate."
  2044. >She lays both hands on your wife's bare shoulders, drumming her fingers on them.
  2045. >The way Luna reacted, you'd think she just dropped an eel down her dress.
  2046. >"F-f-fuck you, but fine..."
  2047. >Wait a minute, does this mean your mother knows about her 'thing', too?
  2048. >Fuck.
  2049. >Calm yourself, Anon. Why wouldn't an elder sibling know their youngers' every weakness?
  2050. >You can only imagine all the tickling sessions Luna was subjected to as a kid. That's a perfectly innocent explanation.
  2051. >And then there's the OTHER explanation. The LESS innocent one.
  2052. >The one that's making your dick do its best to shed its own skin.
  2053. >But there's NO WAY that happened.
  2054. >They've been at each other's throats for as long as you can remember, NOT each other's-
  2055. >"Mmmf-"
  2056. >WAIT.
  2057. >That sound definitely came from Luna, but your mother's head is obstructing your view.
  2058. >Is she leaning forward..?
  2059. >WAITWAITWAIT
  2060. >You swiftly step to the side, the sight nearly gelding you on the spot.
  2061. >Your mother, deep inside her sister's mouth.
  2062. >Her tongue, pushing Luna's down on her lower lip before pulling back, leaving your aunt a stuttering mess.
  2063. >"That's where you put it, silly. The list of things you're allowed to choke on is very short, and your own tongue isn't on it."
  2064. >Alright, fuck this. You're done waiting.
  2065. "*Ahem*..."
  2066. >"Y-YOU COULD'VE JUST SAID SO!"
  2067. >You fake some more coughing.
  2068. >If that doesn't get their attention, then, with the gods as your witness...
  2069. >"And *you* could've just stopped calling me a bad kisser, but noooOOooo~"
  2070. "That's it. I'm abdicating."
  2071.  
  2072. >The room silenced, they finally notice you, eyes going wide as they notice your throbbing erection.
  2073. >It worked!
  2074. >Your mother slaps her sister's back, who loses balance and almost falls flat on her face in front of you.
  2075. >"You hear that, Looney? You better convince him otherwise..."
  2076. >Your wife looks up at you, blushing nervously.
  2077. >Shit, maybe rushing things wasn't the best move.
  2078. "If you'd rather wait-"
  2079. >"N-NO."
  2080. >She hastily crawls up to you, raising her head on level with your hips.
  2081. >"I-I can do this, easy... j-just no teeth, and uhh... t-tongue down, and..."
  2082. >She releases a frightened yelp as your mother appears behind her, again drumming her fingertips on her shoulders.
  2083. >"And don't panic."
  2084. >"Y-YOU STAND BACK, I GOT THIS."
  2085. >Taking a deep breath, your aunt puffs out her chest, locking her hands behind her back.
  2086. >A sandstone copy of your mother's earlier position.
  2087. >"I-if you want to... pull my hair..."
  2088. >HER, TOO?
  2089. >What kind of family is this?
  2090. >You swallow a swarm of butterflies, your hands reaching down with a sigh.
  2091. >If she wants it, then what the hell, right?
  2092. >Gently settling your palms on both sides of her head, you get a feel for her hair.
  2093. >Just as silky, but more orderly than your mother's, still having her binders.
  2094. "I guess..."
  2095. >Your mother was oozing enthusiasm at this point when she was down there, begging for more.
  2096. >Luna instead just looks nervous, avoiding eye contact.
  2097. >A cold realization dawns on you.
  2098. >Could she actually NOT be into this..?
  2099. >You pull your hands back.
  2100. "...not. Just, uhh... do your thing. I trust you."
  2101. >"Huh..?"
  2102. >Falling into eye contact, a spark of understanding flickers between you.
  2103. >A mutual realization that you both recognize in the other, no words necessary.
  2104. >She thought *you* wanted this.
  2105. >You thought *she* wanted this.
  2106. >Neither of you really did.
  2107. >But you both went through with it anyway.
  2108. >Because you were trying to please the other.
  2109.  
  2110. >She averts her eyes, failing miserably to suppress a smile.
  2111. >"Alright..."
  2112. >You grab your wrist behind your back, staring straight ahead while trying to digest the restless butterfly fauna in your gut.
  2113. >Was mom right? Is she... s-smitten?
  2114. >She tries pushing your dick into a less narrow angle, getting only an involuntary jolt.
  2115. >"S-sorry..!"
  2116. >One look at the nervous-looking beauty below you is convincing enough.
  2117. >The feeling is mutual. Very.
  2118. >"You're not going to do it..?"
  2119. >A voice sounds next to your ear as a pair squishy orbs push against your back, your mother's hands locking around your chest.
  2120. "Mom?"
  2121. >She rests her chin on your shoulder, hugging you from behind.
  2122. >"If you're not going to hold her head for balance, I might as well make myself useful~"
  2123. "B-balance..? FFF-"
  2124. >Luna's lips roll over your head, your entire body convulsing in surprise.
  2125. >"Sorry!" She pulls away, looking worried. "D-did I do it again..?"
  2126. "NO! That was... it was..."
  2127. >"Perfect."
  2128. >You catch a glimpse of your mother in your periphery, giving her sister an approving nod.
  2129. >Luna's face brightens up in relief, again facing your lower head.
  2130. >"Still doubt me, your majesty?" Your mother whispers. "Smitten. Like I said."
  2131. >You only manage a barbaric grunt in response, Luna's tongue running over your hyper-sensitive knob.
  2132. >Gods, how it has waited for this.
  2133. "Hnnn-"
  2134. >You instinctively push forward as she engulfs your head with her mouth, her tongue rhythmically rubbing against its underside.
  2135. >Your mother holds you in place, watching the display with a proud look on her face.
  2136. >"Don't focus on one spot for too long. Alternate."
  2137. "Ahhh..."
  2138. >She takes the advice without hesitation, her tongue running circles around your head.
  2139. >"In all directions. And open your eyes while you do it."
  2140. >Removing her mouth from your tip, her eyes dart up to your face, strings of saliva still binding you together.
  2141.  
  2142. >Something on your face seems to shoot her up with a dose of confidence.
  2143. >"Right..! Easy."
  2144. >You break into a chilly sweat as she engulfs your tip again, hardly prepared for whatever she has in store.
  2145. >Very hardly.
  2146. >Combining her earlier moves, she swirls her tongue around your tip, taking a couple of forceful licks for variety.
  2147. "S-shit..."
  2148. >She stops the massage just as you were about to give out your warning, focusing on the one still-unused direction.
  2149. >Down.
  2150. >The warmth of her mouth travels further and further down your length, stopping as your tip hits a wall, still not all the way in.
  2151. >Your mother rubs herself against you, reminding you of her presence.
  2152. >"Go ahead, test your limits."
  2153. >You can't even guess what that means.
  2154. >All you can think about are the wet walls pushing against your dick, plus the mammaries on your back.
  2155. "HaaAAAH-"
  2156. >A sudden feeling of suction against your tip catches you by surprise, lasting only a heartbeat as she pulls all the way back up.
  2157. >"Sorr-hrrk..." She clutches her neck, suppressing a cough.
  2158. >WAIT.
  2159. >Realizing what your wife just attempted, the butterflies in your stomach are stirred into a frenzy.
  2160. >"Trial and error, Luna." Your mother giggles. "If at first, you don't succeed..."
  2161. >Opening her mouth over your tip, your aunt pauses, looking up at you.
  2162. >"Did... did you like that?"
  2163. >You gulp, not sure how to respond.
  2164. "Y-yes."
  2165. >She blushes, smiling happily.
  2166. >"Trial and error it is, then..."
  2167. >Wasting no time, she again gobbles up your shaft, pushing it against her throat before traveling right back up, maintaining suction the whole way.
  2168. >Her lips forming a tight circle around your tip, she plunges back down, pausing to carefully push you against her throat before repeating the entire motion.
  2169. "F-f-fuhhh-"
  2170. >Adjusting the length of her pauses to your squirming, she keeps you on edge while your mother tightens her grip around you.
  2171. >"It's good to be king, isn't it?"
  2172.  
  2173. >A finger pushes your face to the side.
  2174. >"I wouldn't abdicate if I were you."
  2175. >Your aunt adds some more variety, rapidly bobbing her head half-way up and down, before settling back into her previous routine.
  2176. "O-o-okay, I'm c-"
  2177. >Your mother enters your mouth without warning for a short kiss, probing deep as you freeze up.
  2178. >"Wealth and power be damned. Consanguinity is the greatest of luxuries, and only the king gets to flaunt it without scorn."
  2179. >Damn it, mom... this really isn't helping you last longer.
  2180. >Slowing down just as you were about to finish, your wife dislodges from you with a pop.
  2181. >WAIT.
  2182. >YOU WEREN'T DONE.
  2183. "Wuh... wha..?"
  2184. >DAMN WORDS, WHY MUST THEY FAIL YOU NOW?
  2185. >"Uhh... Luna? You're not done yet."
  2186. >YES. WHAT SHE SAID.
  2187. >"*Ahem*... th-thank you for the lesson."
  2188. >Your wife wipes the fluids from her face, a genuine look of gratitude creeping through.
  2189. >"I owe you one."
  2190. >Huh? What?
  2191. >"Ooooh, I get it."
  2192. "I... what... why..."
  2193. >The only thing you get is that you were LEFT HANGING.
  2194. >Your mother shuts you up with another quick kiss on the lips, heading for the door.
  2195. >"I think we all need a change of clothes, I'll be right back."
  2196. >The door shuts behind her, your wife immediately walking into your arms.
  2197. >"S-sorry I stopped... I just thought you'd want to finish elsewhere."
  2198. "Really?"
  2199. >Does she think you're picky or something?
  2200. "After all this, if you handed me a live snake and left the room..."
  2201. >"N-no, I mean..."
  2202. >She lifts her skirt, placing your tip over her entrance.
  2203. >Instinct immediately taking over, you grab your wife and thrust inside, whimpers sounding from you both as you finish before even hilting.
  2204. >Your release finally achieved, you both fall back on a chair, Luna resting against your chest.
  2205. "I... still don't get why you stopped. D-did you even feel that?"
  2206. >"I did, but..."
  2207. >Her face as red as the setting sun, she reaches for your hand, placing it against her stomach.
  2208. >"What if I told you... that wasn't the point?"
  2209.  
  2210. >You descend from the final stairway to the courtyard on the ground, shielding your eyes from the morning sun.
  2211. >Or the noon sun, rather...
  2212. >You slept in AGAIN, but Luna got out of bed without waking you up, so you have a valid excuse, right..?
  2213. >"Morning!"
  2214. >Your head snaps to your side, a maid carrying a basket walking past you.
  2215. >She gives you a smile and a wave before rounding a corner, going on her merry way.
  2216. "M-morn..."
  2217. >Shit, what? What just happened?
  2218. >No formalities? No nervous bowing? No 'I'm getting impaled feet-first if I misspeak' look?
  2219. >Could that have been... a friendly greeting?
  2220. >You fistpump, edges of your mouth reaching for your ears.
  2221. >It WORKED!
  2222. >You go for a brisk walk through the palace grounds, properly returning every greeting thrown your way.
  2223. >A 'good morning' here, a 'lovely day' there, smiley faces everywhere...
  2224. >And NOBODY looks scared for their lives!
  2225. >You should have thought of getting drunk and promising some rando a tax exemption MUCH sooner!
  2226. >You're a proper man of the people now, Anon.
  2227. >Finding a pillar to hide behind, you judge your face to be too shit-eating for common beholders.
  2228. >"You are SUCH a lying harlot, Somna. NO WAY did he say that."
  2229. >A pair of maids pass by without noticing you.
  2230. >"Am not! It was soooooo~ romantic, I could feel my ovaries tingle!"
  2231. >Are they talking about you?
  2232. >"And what did she do?"
  2233. >Following the pair, you sneak to the next pillar, careful not to be noticed.
  2234. >"She was ALL OVER HIM. And then they left for some 'alone time'..."
  2235. >They ARE talking about you!
  2236. >"She's his AUNT, isn't she?"
  2237. >Wow, catching the birth of a rumor about you in the wild..?
  2238. >"Yeah, but still! If I had a nephew who proposed to me like THAT..."
  2239. >The sentence is cut off by a fit of giggling.
  2240. >"Oh my Ra, you're such a FREAK!"
  2241. >Their conversation devolving into fits of obnoxious laughter, you stop tailing them, a gulp forcing itself down your throat.
  2242. >...freak?
  2243.  
  2244. >"Morning, your majesty. Did you have fun yesterday?"
  2245. >You sit across the dinner table from your mother, two empty chair-spaces to the left of your aunt.
  2246. "Stop calling me that, MOM."
  2247. >Hand meeting her forehead, she feigns shock.
  2248. >You're not supposed to call her that in public.
  2249. >Whatever. You're in charge here.
  2250. "But sure, it had its ups and downs..."
  2251. >Tallying up those tax records was an unbelievably tedious slog, but those breaks you took...
  2252. >You look to your right, Luna avoiding the conversation, awkwardly handling a steaming cup of something.
  2253. >You gulp, your eyes involuntarily trailing down to her stomach.
  2254. >DON'T THINK ABOUT IT. ALL IS WELL.
  2255. >"How was the haul, then? Are you the richest man in existence, or nay?"
  2256. >You swallow some meat, your mother catching you with your mouth full.
  2257. "Not a clue. Most of the payments were in the form of grain, and about a dozen other commodities..."
  2258. >It was a NIGHTMARE to sift through.
  2259. >You should standardize this shit somehow. Maybe by introducing some kind of lowest possible unit of value?
  2260. >Would stamping your face on every clump of gold work..? Hmm...
  2261. "How much gold can you get for a ton of grain, anyways?"
  2262. >"Depends. How hungry are the peasants?"
  2263. >WHOA.
  2264. >Your eyes dart around the dining hall, scanning for anyone within hearing distance.
  2265. "MOM..! We're in the middle of a below-average harvesting season, and we're surrounded by peasants..."
  2266. >"Pfft, relax." Your mother waves dismissively, leaning back in her chair, confectionery in hand.
  2267. >"We have enough reserves to distribute through years of drought. And if necessary, I'll let them eat cake..."
  2268. >You hear wood scraping against stone, Luna scooting her chair closer to you.
  2269. >"H-hey..."
  2270. >She slides the steaming cup over to you, her voice nearly a whisper.
  2271. >"I made some... for you..."
  2272. "Hmm? Don't we have servants for that?"
  2273. >Her face reddens, looking away.
  2274. >"Y-you had a cough, right..?"
  2275.  
  2276. "R-right..! Yes... I did... *ahem*"
  2277. >Faking some coughs, you grab the cup, a flowery smell hitting your nose.
  2278. >You gulp down the warm liquid, your coughs suddenly very real.
  2279. "Hrrnng-"
  2280. >WRONG FUCKING PIPE.
  2281. >"A-anon?"
  2282. "s'gd!"
  2283. >Clutching your chest, you force yourself to stop.
  2284. "It's... good. Thanks."
  2285. >You notice your mother leaning forward on the table, grinning from ear to ear.
  2286. "What? Is there something on my face?"
  2287. >"Yes, a handsome layer of skin."
  2288. >Luna bumps her chair into yours, huffing at her sister.
  2289. >"Get your own nephew..!"
  2290. >Your mother giggles. "I am."
  2291. >The table goes silent.
  2292. >Your mother, having a nephew? Wouldn't that mean..?
  2293. >WAIT.
  2294. >CHANGE THE SUBJECT. RIGHT NOW.
  2295. >You gulp down the entire rest of Luna's drink, cringing as your insides heat up almost intolerably.
  2296. "Hrrg... t-this... *amazing* drink sure is... t-turning up the heat... I could go for something colder..."
  2297. >Your mother snaps her fingers at a servant girl carrying a jug.
  2298. >"Yoohoo~"
  2299. >The girl rushes over, giving you a polite bow before pouring wine into an empty cup on the table.
  2300. >"This one, too." Your mother holds up a cup of her own, shifting her gaze back to Luna.
  2301. >"Y'know, I've found that being a boy's mother and his concubine are remarkably similar jobs. Neither gives you much sleep at night."
  2302. "PFFT-"
  2303. >The stream trails away from your mother's cup, spilling on the table, the wine in your mouth meeting a similar fate.
  2304. >"TH-TH-TH-THOUSAND APOLOGIES! M-MAY HORUS SMITE ME WHERE I STAND-"
  2305. >"No worries." Your mother pats her head. "Go take a break."
  2306. >She awkwardly scuttles away, leaving you petrified.
  2307. >"YOU take a break." Luna springs on her feet. "Take a break for the NILE and tell your lies to the BOTTOM."
  2308. >"Pfft, calm down." Your mother holds back a laugh. "I did tell you today's lesson would be court intrigue, didn't I?"
  2309. >You sigh, hosting a wedding between your hands and your face.
  2310. >"Have another drink, Anon. It'll help."
  2311. >No doubting that.
  2312.  
  2313. >You chug down the wine, not stopping until the cup is empty.
  2314. "Smite me already..."
  2315. >That servant had the right idea.
  2316. >"That's the spirit! Right, my dear little sister?"
  2317. >Luna pouts, arms crossed.
  2318. >"Just... don't mess with the servants like that. That one was an orphan."
  2319. >"I know, Luna. They all are."
  2320. >Huh?
  2321. >"Was that a joke, Tia? What's the punchline?"
  2322. >Your mother looks confused.
  2323. >"No punchline. The servant girls are all orphans."
  2324. >Reaching for the jug, you pour yourself another cup, quickly downing the whole thing.
  2325. >This lesson isn't going to end well, is it?
  2326. >"A-all of them? As in, every single one..?"
  2327. >Your mother shrugs. "I thought you'd figured that out already, given your little hobby..."
  2328. >"W-wait, no... h-hold up..."
  2329. >Luna looks as if struck by a spear, a look of horror on her face.
  2330. >"Y-you mean to tell me, that this whole time... I've been... p-preying on... vulnerable... o-orphans..?"
  2331. >Your mother raises an eyebrow.
  2332. >"Luna. YOU are an orphan."
  2333. >Your wife again springs on her feet, slamming her hands on the table.
  2334. >"THAT'S DIFFERENT!"
  2335. >With an almighty roll of her eyes, your mother waves her back down.
  2336. >"Did turning you straight turn you into a moralhag, too? Sit down."
  2337. >You look at the servants walking around, seeing them in an entirely different light.
  2338. "Did you not trust the staff, or something..?"
  2339. >"Smart man, my little pharaoh."
  2340. >She takes the jug the servant left behind, pouring you another drink.
  2341. >"There were rebel sympathizers everywhere when I took over, so the only thing I could do was get rid of *everyone*."
  2342. "And then what, you raided an orphanage?"
  2343. >"Oh, hush." Your mother chuckles. "They were hardly unwilling. Every peasant girl dreams of working here."
  2344. >"WHAT?" Luna interrupts. "THEY'RE SLAVES, TOO? ORPHAN SLAVES?"
  2345. >She clutches her head, eyes fixed on the table.
  2346. >"G-gods forgive me... I'm a monster..."
  2347.  
  2348. >"No, they're *servants*. Honestly..." Your mother pops a grape into her mouth, relaxing in her chair.
  2349. >"I needed loyal ones, and what's more loyal than an orphan given a home and a purpose?"
  2350. "A purpose..?"
  2351. >"They keep an eye out for suspicious activity."
  2352. >Your mother crosses her feet, looking to her sister.
  2353. >"Such as a strange pair threading the outer walls of the palace to spy on the pharaoh in his bedroom..."
  2354. >Oh.
  2355. >OH.
  2356. >You hear some mumbled apologies in response.
  2357. >"And from now on, Luna, they'll be reporting to you."
  2358. >Your wife points at herself in disbelief.
  2359. >"Me? FUCK no. I am NOT participating in your schizophrenic para-"
  2360. >"They caught an assassin."
  2361. >The cup slips through your fingers, clanging on the table.
  2362. "WHAT? When? Why? What?"
  2363. >"Years ago, and I dealt with him. Point is, Luna..."
  2364. >Your mother stares down her sister.
  2365. >"Who do you think rules while the pharaoh is away?"
  2366. >Crickets.
  2367. >You look to your right, your wife looking stunned.
  2368. >"I..." Her voice cracks. "...c-can't do this..."
  2369. >Is she sweating..?
  2370. >You can't blame her.
  2371. >All she originally wanted was some haremic action, which you can definitely sympathize with, but this...?
  2372. >Your mother stands up, pulling her chair back.
  2373. >She silently walks the entire way around the long table, standing over her frozen sister.
  2374. >"You thought being pretty in public was all you had to worry about?"
  2375. >Luna looks straight down at her feet, gulping audibly.
  2376. >"This position comes with a cost, and you're past the point of no return."
  2377. "Mom, come on..."
  2378. >"BUT..."
  2379. >Your mother raises her hand, her face softening.
  2380. >"It comes with rewards, too."
  2381. >Luna cautiously raises her head.
  2382. >"What? What could that possibly be..?"
  2383. >Palm against Luna's shoulder, your mother gives her a smirk.
  2384. >And a push.
  2385. "Whoa there..."
  2386. >Catching your aunt by the shoulders, your eyes meet as you stop her fall, your mother smiling radiantly.
  2387. >"You're looking at it."
  2388.  
  2389. >A raging blush barrels into your faces, your aunt static in your arms.
  2390. >"Any problems, then?"
  2391. >Luna shoots back into her chair.
  2392. >"N-n-no... I'll do it."
  2393. >"Wonderful!" She claps her hands together. "So where were we, again? Oh yes..."
  2394. >A servant approaches the table, carrying some washcloth.
  2395. >"Ready for the next one, Anon? Keep your head up."
  2396. >The NEXT one..?
  2397. >NO. You are NOT ready.
  2398. >"I know, Luna, these peasants can't be trusted raising children, can they?"
  2399. "W-wait..."
  2400. >"How can any mother claim to love her son if she's not even willing to share his bed..?"
  2401. >CLOSING YOUR EYES MAKES BAD THINGS GO AWAY, RIGHT?
  2402. >Daring to look, you catch a glimpse of the servant's blood-red face, just before stumbling away with a squeak.
  2403. >Hopefully she's okay...
  2404. >"Heh, that one seemed interested. I bet her fingers won't be dry tonight."
  2405. "What the f-WHY are you doing this? W-we never... that never..."
  2406. >You steal a glance at your speechless aunt.
  2407. >She doesn't look like she suspects you of infidelity, at least...
  2408. >"Well, *I* never beheaded a dozen rebels with a flaming sword in my first battle, but that didn't stop the story from being useful."
  2409. >Wait, that was just a story..?
  2410. >"Oh, say it ain't so!" Your aunt snorts. "My image of you... ruined!"
  2411. >"You jest, Luna, but there are peasants who actually believe that."
  2412. >Shut your mouth, Anon... nobody has to know.
  2413. "I'm still waiting to hear why I have to sit here and be verbally raped in front of the staff. You know I'm monogamous, right?"
  2414. >"Shh, don't say that in public."
  2415. >Your mother reaches for the jug, pouring you another cup of wine. "Have another."
  2416. "Fuck the drink, I'll say what I want. I-"
  2417. >Actually, no. You'll have the drink.
  2418. "I don't need a harem."
  2419. >You slam the cup on the table after taking a gulp, your dulled nerves allowing you to pull Luna into a side-hug.
  2420. "My wife is all I need."
  2421.  
  2422. >Luna looks away with a blush, twirling a lock of hair around her finger.
  2423. >"Y-you too..."
  2424. >Your mother deadpans.
  2425. >"See, watching you two is making me *really* jealous. Which means most other women in the kingdom will be, too."
  2426. "And..?"
  2427. >"And that's a problem. The men won't like watching their wives fawn over the king who forewent his harem in favor of his 'only beloved'."
  2428. "Fuck'em. Don't care."
  2429. >"THEN, to save their egos, they'll assume that you're just Luna's puppet.
  2430. "Well, I'm NOT..."
  2431. >"Which means you lose respect, which means you lose legitimacy, which means you'll be playing a game of whack-a-rebel for the next ten years."
  2432. >This is getting ridiculous.
  2433. "What am I supposed to do, then? Give her the cold shoulder?"
  2434. >"Perform sappy poems with a harp in front of an audience if you want. You just need a counterweight rumor."
  2435. >Your mother proudly points a thumb at herself.
  2436. >"That's where *I* come in. Who will dare take up arms against the man who bends his warlord mother over a table on a daily basis?"
  2437. >Table, meet forehead.
  2438. >"Trust me, this will work. I've been playing the unwashed masses for YEARS."
  2439. "F-fine, just... give me another drink..."
  2440. >Luna gives you a reassuring pat on the shoulder.
  2441. >"We'll get through this, Anon, don't worry. I'm here."
  2442. >Your mother chuckles, pouring wine into your cup.
  2443. >"WHOOPS!"
  2444. >The cup overflows, your mother waving for another servant.
  2445. >"Heh, this one's a notorious blabbermouth."
  2446. "Great..."
  2447. >"Try giving her a wink. This is fun once you get used to it."
  2448. >You gulp, seeing your mother readying another one of her fake conversations as the servant gets within hearing range.
  2449. >"Too big, Luna? Nonsense!"
  2450. >What, that's it? A comment on your size? After all that bluster?
  2451. >Your mother wiggles her eyebrows, holding a cherry between her fingers while the servant wipes the table.
  2452. >"If I could fit him through the back, I'm sure you can make do somehow."
  2453. >The cherry pops.
  2454.  
  2455. >DONE. YOU'RE DONE.
  2456. >Finished. Concluded. OUT.
  2457. >Just sober enough to walk straight, you storm out the dining hall, gritting your teeth while fighting the urge to bang your head against the nearest wall.
  2458. >This is what she calls a counter-rebellion measure? You, doing her in the-
  2459. >A shiver runs through your spine at the thought.
  2460. >You can't even verbalize it in you HEAD.
  2461. >But somehow, your soldier still stands strong.
  2462. >OH GODS, WHY?
  2463. >You run out of the palace, finding a tree to hide behind.
  2464. >That servant from this morning was right. This family is full of freaks.
  2465. >And you're not an exception, are you?
  2466. >Wiping your brow, you hear a high-pitch wail, noticing movement in your periphery.
  2467. >It's a cat. And with a pair of kittens in tow, no less.
  2468. >Ahh, that's exactly what you need right now. Nothing calms the soul like a happy family of-
  2469. >WAIT, NO.
  2470. >GET AWAY.
  2471. >Sand between your toes, you stop your run to breathe against one of the walls of the palace, the spot secluded enough.
  2472. >YOU DON'T HAVE ANY KIDS. YOUR LIFE IS STILL NORMAL.
  2473. >Just calm down. Forget everything. Clear your mind. Distract yourself. Breathe.
  2474. >In. Out. In. Out.
  2475. >You snort.
  2476. >IT'S NOT FUCKING WORKING.
  2477. >WHO WILL SAVE YOU FROM THIS NIGHTMARE?
  2478. >Movement catches your eye, a blue blot in the yellow sand.
  2479. >It's a scorpion.
  2480. >You crouch down, examining it closer.
  2481. >A blueback.
  2482. >Those aren't supposed to get this close to the palace. The cats must be getting lazy.
  2483. >Or maybe you've been feeding them too much.
  2484. >This one isn't dangerous for anyone past the toddler stage, thankfully.
  2485. >Looking back, this was the first stinger you were immunized against in your mother's attempt to make you invincible.
  2486. >You were what, eight years old?
  2487. >And you always thought LUNA was the crazy one. HOW WRONG YOU WERE.
  2488. >You sigh, a twisted sense of nostalgia coming over you.
  2489. >Just one wouldn't hurt THAT bad, right?
  2490.  
  2491. >"Hello, uhh... your majesty?"
  2492. "Mwuh..?"
  2493. >Looking to your side, you peer through the purple haze, waving away the fairies blocking your view.
  2494. "Whodat?"
  2495. >"You... don't remember?"
  2496. "Huh?"
  2497. >You stumble closer, getting a better look.
  2498. "Oh, it's... M-marlon..?"
  2499. >"Norman. You've been staring at this wall for a while, I wasn't sure what to do. Are you okay?"
  2500. "Better."
  2501. >He pauses, expecting you to elaborate.
  2502. >Too bad for him, you can't really describe this.
  2503. >It's like... an alcoholic high, except HIGHER.
  2504. >Wait, is this what happens when you get stung while drunk..? Hmm...
  2505. "Ohh, man. Perfect timing..!"
  2506. >Balancing yourself on the wall, you reach down, picking up the scorpion by its tail.
  2507. "You have GOT to try this."
  2508. >"WHOA." He recoils as you approach. "You're joking, right?"
  2509. >Grinning, you point at the scorpion, wiggling it around.
  2510. "This thing is GREAT, man... it's like... I jumped, and haven't landed yet..."
  2511. >"Isn't that... d-dangerous?"
  2512. "Dude, bluebacks are HARMLESS... you're not, like... scared of a little STING, are you?"
  2513. >He gulps.
  2514. >"I... I dunno... I'm on duty."
  2515. >Does this peasant not remember who he's talking to?
  2516. "Dismissed."
  2517. >"W-what?"
  2518. "See? That means that you're off duty."
  2519. >"S-still... this feels like a bad idea..."
  2520. "Come on, maaaan... if someone complains, I'll take full... r-responsorbilly..."
  2521. >"E-even if it's..." He gulps. "The queen..?"
  2522. >Ah, scared of your mother. You should've known.
  2523. "You mean my CONCUBINE?"
  2524. >A look of disgust, shock, and confusion. All at once.
  2525. >If only he knew the extent of it...
  2526. "So, as the Kushites say... shoot up, bruh."
  2527.  
  2528. >"Check out the pyramids on THAT one, man!" Norman points at a servant walking past you. "That's an eight for SURE."
  2529. >You slap his hand down, taking a sip of wine.
  2530. "Pointing is ruuude, duuude."
  2531. >You're inside the palace now, sitting on the floor against a wall with a jug of alcohol and two cups between you, watching your servants passing by from a distance.
  2532. "And that was, like, a seven at MOST..."
  2533. >"SNOB."
  2534. >You punch his side, snorting.
  2535. >"Please spare my ribs, your maje-NINE! Damn..."
  2536. "Oh yeah, that one has a nice-"
  2537. >Wait. You recognize that chest.
  2538. "Heh, that one was going to be in my harem..."
  2539. >"Was?"
  2540. "Oh, uhh... that's classified."
  2541. >He shrugs it off, going back to ogling your servants.
  2542. >"When do I get my vacation, by the way?"
  2543. "All in good friend, my time..."
  2544. >"No, really. I can't wait to see the look on my dad's face."
  2545. >Heh, this stuff sure is giving him some courage.
  2546. "I don't actually know how to write tax exemptions, so I'll have to ask mother..."
  2547. >"And..?"
  2548. "And helping me would require her to stop MOLESTING ME for more than FIVE SECONDS."
  2549. >He coughs on his drink.
  2550. >There's also that she'll probably get mad at you for mismanagement of funds...
  2551. >"T-this is... a show, right? This, like... CAN'T be real."
  2552. "Uhh... which part?"
  2553. >"Like... ALL of it. Marrying your aunt, and then... concubine-ing your mother..?"
  2554. >He's not that far from the truth, actually. Should you tell him?
  2555. >"Y-you're not ACTUALLY, uhh... d-doing... y'know..."
  2556. >No, to hell with it. You're royalty, so you might as well act like it.
  2557. "I sure am! Haven't you SEEN my mother?"
  2558. >The look on his face... priceless! Maybe you COULD get used to this...
  2559. >"N-no, actually... I never- WHOA!"
  2560. >His attention shifts back to the servant traffic.
  2561. >"Ten! That's a ten!"
  2562. >Huh?
  2563. >"Either I'm hallucinating or that's a goddess in the flesh, because WOW..."
  2564. >You peer ahead, the figure making eye contact with you.
  2565. >Oh, fuck...
  2566. >That's your mother.
  2567.  
  2568. "What do you want?"
  2569. >"Don't disappear like that. I was worried."
  2570. >You pout, crossing your arms.
  2571. "What else is new?"
  2572. >Norman just looks frozen, staring at her like an idiot.
  2573. >"Have you been near any strange fumes lately? Your eyes look glassy."
  2574. "Oh my GODS, mom. Can you, like... pull your hair out of my nostrils? I was just hanging with the peasantry."
  2575. >Norman promptly springs on his feet, struggling to maintain balance.
  2576. >"G-g-guard #69 a-a-at your pleasure-I MEAN PLEASURE TO MEET... uhh..."
  2577. >He's saluting with his left, the madman.
  2578. "Calm the shit down, man... you're making ME nervous here."
  2579. >Standing up, you barely manage to hold back a laugh, handing him a cup.
  2580. >He gulps down the wine, taking a deep breath.
  2581. >"S-sorry, I just-uhh..." He turns back to your mother. "M-my father fought against you with rebel scum. I grew up on stories of your-"
  2582. >He pauses, your mother's eyebrows rising.
  2583. >"WITH! He fought WITH you."
  2584. >Wew, lad.
  2585. >"Did he, now?" She chuckles. "That was nice of him."
  2586. >He nods vigorously, encouraged by the surprisingly friendly reaction.
  2587. >"Y-yeah! I didn't think you'd match the legends, but..."
  2588. >"Really?" Your mother scratches the back of her head, sounding flattered. "Why's that..?"
  2589. >"B-BECAUSE!" He almost shouts, looking like an excited puppy.
  2590. >"Like... beheading people with a burning sword on the battlefield? At MY age? Or LESS?"
  2591. >Wow, who'd be stupid enough to believe THAT..? Certainly not you.
  2592. >"Turning around the Sun to blind the enemy? Stringing bows with your OWN HAIR for your archers?"
  2593. >Hair wrapped around her finger, she looks away.
  2594. >"*Ahem*, well... supplies were scarce..."
  2595. >"And does it really have all those colors because you were struck by lightning while playing a harp? And you didn't even STOP?"
  2596. >Is she BLUSHING?
  2597. >"My little Anon always fell asleep to that harp..."
  2598. >What the hell, mom? EMBARRASSING.
  2599. "HEY..."
  2600. >Neither of them seem to hear you.
  2601. >"C-can you sign my sword?"
  2602.  
  2603. "Okay, if you're done HITTING ON MY MOTHER..."
  2604. >He recoils, finally snapping out of it.
  2605. >"W-wait... I wasn't..."
  2606. >Yeah, sure.
  2607. >You notice Luna approaching behind your flustered mother, a crazy idea popping into your head.
  2608. >This peasant thought your marriage was a mere SHOW.
  2609. >You'll give him a show, alright...
  2610. "Lunaaaaa~"
  2611. >Hands splayed out, you walk towards your aunt, stopping her in her tracks.
  2612. >"A-anon? WhaAAA-"
  2613. >You slip behind her, grabbing her from behind while resting your head on her shoulder.
  2614. "How's my stunner of an aunt doing? Did you leave a trail of broken hearts on your way here?"
  2615. >Your hands move down her sides, causing a squirm that you swiftly hug into submission.
  2616. >"I... w-what..?"
  2617. >Watching that red tint grow on her face is doing things to you. All KINDS of things.
  2618. >"A-are you okay? You feel... warm."
  2619. "I'm beyond help. Got bit by an incest."
  2620. >Stung by an insect, but details...
  2621. >"S-stop that..!" She giggles. "I know better now, I swear..."
  2622. >She coos, overcoming her ticklishness while relaxing into your arms.
  2623. >And holy shit does that feel GOOD.
  2624. >Screw the alcohol. THIS is what you need more of.
  2625. "Whoops~"
  2626. >Your hands slip inside her dress, your wife flinching.
  2627. >"A-anon..! S-servants are... watchi-ohh~"
  2628. >You run your hands over her pyramids, your fingertips sliding over her erect mounds.
  2629. "How about giving them some... 'suspicious activity' to report?"
  2630. >You give her nubs a little rub, accentuating the end of the sentence.
  2631. >"You... but... I..."
  2632. >Wow, handling these things is much more fun than you expected.
  2633. "Y'know... various other parts of me are REALLY jealous of my hands right now..."
  2634. >"I-" She gasps, reacting to your massage. "...t-thought you preferred them... b-bigger..."
  2635. >Is that a hint insecurity in her voice?
  2636. >We can't have that, now can we?
  2637. >Raising your head, you place your mouth just next to her ear.
  2638.  
  2639. >A wide-eyed maid walks a half-circle around you, crashing face-first into a pillar.
  2640. >Norman is still there, with that lobotomized look on his face. Even your mother looks out of it.
  2641. >Good. But you're not done yet.
  2642. >Blowing into Luna's ear, you feel her pulse spike through multiple points of contact.
  2643. >You're pretty sure you can still spike it some more.
  2644. "Well, ever since you first flashed me... I've had dreams about them. *Messy* dreams."
  2645. >"Ahh~"
  2646. >You run your hands all the way over her chest, top to bottom.
  2647. "And I never imagined them any bigger. You know why?"
  2648. >You whisper into her ear, grinding yourself against her backside.
  2649. "Because they're already perfect."
  2650. >"A-anon... I..."
  2651. >Voice cracking, she brings her hands to her face.
  2652. >No doubt concealing her blush.
  2653. >"Ooookay..." Your mother appears behind you, hand on your shoulder.
  2654. >"I'm getting you the antidote before you pass out, young man."
  2655. "Huh? Antidote?"
  2656. >Splitting you from your wife, she spins you around, pressing her palm against your forehead.
  2657. >"This is blueback venom and alcohol, right? Nasty mixture."
  2658. >Ah, shit.
  2659. >Did Norman rat you out?
  2660. "I, uhh... have no idea what you're-"
  2661. >"GIVE HIM BACK." Luna grabs your wrist, snatching you back while hissing at her sister. "He's fine like this!"
  2662. >Your mother catches you by your other wrist, making you the center of a tug-of-war.
  2663. >"He's delirious, Luna. Bigger is OBVIOUSLY better."
  2664. >Wait, what?
  2665. >"Face the truth, tit-monster! He prefers mine!"
  2666. >By the gods, above and below...
  2667. >What have you DONE?
  2668.  
  2669. "H-hold..!"
  2670. >You lock your feet on the ground, freeing your hands.
  2671. >Nearly stumbling, you give Luna a 'be right back' gesture, turning to your mother.
  2672. >She looks kinda upset, and you'd prefer to be as far away from that rotting fish urine of a concoction your mother calls an antidote.
  2673. "I like yours, too, mom!"
  2674. >You pause, thinking of some way to navigate through this storm.
  2675. >Oh damn, idea!
  2676. "They're like... a storm!"
  2677. >"A storm..?"
  2678. "Yeah..! They, uhh... fill my view and make me wet."
  2679. >You hear several snort-giggles from the peasants around you, your mother not looking as impressed.
  2680. >"How many fingers am I holding up?"
  2681. >Shit.
  2682. >You peer at her hand, blinking twice to expel the tiny winged horses whizzing around your view.
  2683. >Is that three or seven?
  2684. >SHIT.
  2685. >This calls for a different approach.
  2686. "O-okay, I MIGHT be one or two camels short of a caravan right now... but before you make up your mind..."
  2687. >You walk into her chest, exploiting her motherly instinct for a hug.
  2688. "Consider that I happen to be... completely defenseless."
  2689. >You loosen your robes, seductively revealing some skin.
  2690. "If you wanted to spread around some FUN FAMILY RUMORS, I doubt I could fight back..."
  2691. >"NEVERMIND, TIA." Your aunt interrupts. "GIVE HIM THE ANTIDOTE."
  2692. "W-wait! I just meant..."
  2693. >Your mother sighs, walking you away from the servant traffic.
  2694. >"Me instigating would defeat the point, Anon. You had the right idea with Luna."
  2695. >"Err..." Norman interjects, having trouble balancing himself. "I'm not fired, am I?"
  2696. >"Oh, right." Your mother responds. "You have until sundown to gather your things."
  2697. "WHAT? No, *I* roped him into this, so he's not going any-"
  2698. >"BECAUSE..." She cuts you off, patting him on the head.
  2699. >"Congratulations, guard #69. You've just been promoted."
  2700.  
  2701. >Bowing, he mumbles something incomprehensible before staggering away, leaving you baffled.
  2702. "Did... did you just promote a random recruit to captain?"
  2703. >"I was thinking commander, actually."
  2704. "COMMANDER?"
  2705. >You stumble.
  2706. "You mean, commander, like... of the ENTIRE royal forces? THAT commander?"
  2707. >She raises an eyebrow.
  2708. >"You think I'd let word get out that *my* little pharaoh was getting high with some *captain*?"
  2709. "WHAT? But... aren't YOU the commander?"
  2710. >"Not anymore." She shrugs. "He'll be fine. Better a trustworthy incompetent than a deceitful mastermind."
  2711. >You blink twice.
  2712. "Won't someone kick up a fuzz about such a high position going to some peasant?"
  2713. >"Peasant?" She feigns ignorance. "His father fought under me. He's from a *distinguished* military background."
  2714. >Huh.
  2715. "Okay then, what if a rebellion breaks out? Can he handle it?"
  2716. >"It won't."
  2717. >Leaning back on the pillar, she stretches her hands into the air, playfully flashing you a side-view of her bosom.
  2718. >Damn. Storm's coming.
  2719. >"Who would rebel against a man who rides his own mother every afternoon like a chariot racer with a whip?"
  2720. >"TIA."
  2721. >Luna snatches you into her grasp, staring daggers at her sister.
  2722. >"STOP. There's NOBODY around to spread your rumors."
  2723. >Your mother snickers, amused by the reaction.
  2724. >"Not to worry, Luna. Property can't steal its owner."
  2725. >"HISSSSSS-"
  2726. "HRRNG.... can't... breathe..."
  2727. >She releases you, harrumphing to the side.
  2728. >"Oh, Anon." Your mother consoles, keeping you balanced with a hand on your shoulder. "I can already tell you're in for a rocky nine months."
  2729. >Huh? Nine months? What could that possibly-
  2730. >The purple haze in your eyes turns red.
  2731. >NO.
  2732. >YOUR LIFE IS STILL NORMAL.
  2733. >REPEAT. YOUR LIFE IS STILL NORMAL. SHE MEANT SOMETHING DIFFERENT.
  2734. >You gulp, laughing nervously.
  2735. "W-whatever do you mean by that, mother dearest?"
  2736.  
  2737. >"Luna. Talk with me for a bit."
  2738. >Grabbing her hand without waiting for a response, she hurriedly drags your aunt out of earshot, leaving you alone.
  2739. >You notice the half-full cup of wine you left on the floor earlier.
  2740. >CORRECTION.
  2741. >You pick it up, emptying it in a heartbeat.
  2742. >NOW you're alone.
  2743. >Trying not to look awkward by yourself, you lean back on the pillar, taking an occassional glance at your relatives.
  2744. >Your mother is in her lecturing pose, talking over your pouting aunt.
  2745. >The conversation staying one-sided for a good couple of moments, Luna seems to snap out of nowhere.
  2746. >"I DID tell him!"
  2747. >"You CLEARLY didn't!"
  2748. >And now they're raising their voices. But about what, you can't possibly imagine.
  2749. >No clue whatsoever. NONE.
  2750. >Both sets of eyes suddenly turn on you.
  2751. >SHIT. LOOK AWAY.
  2752. >You hear footsteps.
  2753. >THEY'RE COMING.
  2754. >Sweat starts materializing on your face.
  2755. >LOOK NORMAL. EVERYTHING IS FINE.
  2756. "N-NICE WEATHER IN HERE."
  2757. >Luna stops in her tracks, your mother giving her a final push.
  2758. "WOW, look at the sundial-uhh... if there were one in here! The cats won't feed themselves, I should go-"
  2759. >"Anon, wait."
  2760. >Luna's blushing, tension breaking in her voice.
  2761. >"I should have been more straightforward about this. I'm sorry."
  2762. "About what..?"
  2763. >"I'm..." She gulps. "Expecting."
  2764. "E-expecting... what?"
  2765. >"A... a child."
  2766. "OH, expecting a visitor? They're usually adults, but-"
  2767. >"No, I mean... I am WITH child."
  2768. >You take a glance around the room.
  2769. "W-whose child are you with..? I don't see any children here..."
  2770. >"YOURS."
  2771. >All your hallucinations vanish in an instant.
  2772.  
  2773. >Waking up on a pillow, your head splits through the middle as your eyes shoot open.
  2774. "SHIT-SHIT-SHIT-SHIT-"
  2775. >"Oh, you're awake?"
  2776. >Looking through a crack in your fingers, you see your aunt sitting on the side of the bed illuminated by orange sunlight, running a brush through her hair.
  2777. >Awake..?
  2778. >You were ASLEEP?
  2779. >That means you were dreaming, right?
  2780. >RIGHT?
  2781. >"Feeling okay?"
  2782. >She looks over her shoulder, genuine concern in her voice.
  2783. "Y-YEAH..! Good night's sleep sure did wonders for my-"
  2784. >"Good NIGHT'S sleep..?" She interrupts.
  2785. >You gulp, looking through the window, the Sun painted red by its proximity to the horizon.
  2786. "S-sure looks like morning to me..."
  2787. >"That's the sunSET."
  2788. >FUCK.
  2789. "So... I slept through the night and AND the day?"
  2790. >"Just the day."
  2791. >She scoots closer, scrutinizing your face.
  2792. >"Are you still high, or is the new room throwing you off? I figured you'd remember it..."
  2793. >You take a look around, the furniture and the position of the window above the bed feeling familiar.
  2794. >Yeah, you remember this place.
  2795. "Your room, right?"
  2796. >As drunk as you were after the wedding, that's not an evening you're likely to forget anytime soon.
  2797. >"Past tense." She lays down next to you, shoulders bumping.
  2798. >"Since I'm moving in with you to the top of the palace, this one will be converted into storage space... o-or whatever."
  2799. >You notice cracks in her voice, her so-far solid attempt at monotonic seriousness cracking with it.
  2800. >"I was actually hoping you'd, uhh... l-let me keep it." Her voice drops. "If you trust me with it, that is..."
  2801. "What, this shabby room? Why?"
  2802. >"B-because!" She gulps. "I-if you pass out again, I'd rather not carry you up three flights of stairs, right?"
  2803. "Is that it? You don't have to carry me anywhere, just have a guard-"
  2804. >"O-OKAY, NO. It's just that... this is where I-"
  2805. >Blushing furiously, she grasps your arm, hugging your side.
  2806. >"WE... had our first time..."
  2807.  
  2808. "I..."
  2809. >Your guts nearly spill out.
  2810. "S-sure. No harm in that..."
  2811. >"Thanks."
  2812. >She reaches up, planting a kiss on your cheek.
  2813. >"I won't abuse this privilege. Promise."
  2814. "C-come on. You're acting like I shouldn't trust you, or something..."
  2815. >"For good reason. I manipulated you for personal gain."
  2816. "That's... blunt."
  2817. >"Well, your mother basically commanded me to not mince words with you, so..."
  2818. >She clears her throat.
  2819. >"If you have any questions... I'll answer truthfully, whatever it is. It's been a crazy week, so I'm sure there's something."
  2820. >She's not wrong.
  2821. >There's a thousand different things on your mind, but one in particular stands out like an obelisk in a sand dune.
  2822. "First things first, then. Are you actually with, uhh... child?"
  2823. >She nods with a smile after a slight pause, cold dread spreading through your body.
  2824. "H-HOW? I mean... why... s-shouldn't... uhh..."
  2825. >She squeezes your arm a little tighter, giggling.
  2826. >"You see, when an aunt and a nephew love each other very much..."
  2827. "Damn it, I know all that..! I just..."
  2828. >You gulp, your mind blanking.
  2829. "I just thought it wouldn't happen so soon, I guess..."
  2830. >"You'll be fine."
  2831. "The HELL I will. What do I know about being a father? It's not like *I* ever had one..."
  2832. >"You'll be FINE."
  2833. >She grabs your hand, your fingers locking.
  2834. "How can you sound so sure..?"
  2835. >"Don't argue with it, okay? I just know."
  2836. "Well, then I must have misheard you earlier, because I swear I just heard you say you'd answer anything truthf-"
  2837. >"O-okay, fine..."
  2838. >She cozies up against your shoulder, concealing her blushing face.
  2839. >"It's hard to explain. You just seem like you're up for it."
  2840. "And what, you 'just know' that, too?"
  2841. >"It's more than that... I can feel it all the time when we're together. Every fiber of my being is screaming at me that you're the one."
  2842. "The... the who?"
  2843. >You hear a breath being drawn.
  2844. >"You're... my soulmate."
  2845.  
  2846. >Your mouth hangs open, nothing coming out.
  2847. >"P-please say something before I die of embarrassment..."
  2848. >Easier said than done.
  2849. >Taking the cue, you turn on your side, letting her hide her face in your chest.
  2850. >Her admission takes quite a lot of pressure off of you.
  2851. >Like you're sharing nervousity, allowing you to go a little further than you normally would.
  2852. "Y-you too..."
  2853. >STRING TOGETHER A SENTENCE, DAMN IT.
  2854. "I MEAN... I think so, too. You made taxes fun."
  2855. >You dare to look, your gaze met by the widest of smiles and a solitary chuckle.
  2856. >"You're getting better at this. While sober, that is."
  2857. "S-sorry about earlier, by the way..! I acted like a-"
  2858. >"Like you completely forgot a dozen sets of eyes were on you. I remember."
  2859. "Right, I said I was sorry..."
  2860. >"Like a proper ruler, in other words."
  2861. >Pause.
  2862. "W-what?"
  2863. >You hear an exhale, her head burying itself further into your chest.
  2864. >"That thing that you did with your hands, grabbing me from behind..."
  2865. "You mean you... you LIKED that?"
  2866. >"Honestly?" She looks up, making short eye contact.
  2867. >"It was the biggest thrill of my life."
  2868. >Another pause.
  2869. "Th-that's a... surprise."
  2870. >Her head shoots on eye level with yours, her hand grabbing hold of your wrist as your foreheads gently bump.
  2871. >"Why? You thought I'd be averse to your touch? Go ahead."
  2872. >She backs away slightly, making some space for your arm.
  2873. >Hesitating as she waits, you reach out, running your hand up her front, finding the round protrusion you so shamelessly handled before passing out.
  2874. >You feel her twitch upon contact, her pulse immediately noticable on your bare palm.
  2875. >"Whenever you feel like it, okay? I probably like this more than you do."
  2876. >You gulp, neither of you moving an inch.
  2877. "W-wanna bet..?"
  2878. >"Oh yeah?" She guides your hand down, your fingers stroking her belly-button.
  2879. >"Winner gets to pick the name."
  2880.  
  2881. >A fresh batch of dread wells up inside you, clearly not unnoticed by your partner.
  2882. >"Heh, feel like passing out again?"
  2883. "N-no!"
  2884. >You blink in rapid succession, keeping the void at bay.
  2885. "I just can't shake the feeling... that I'll be bad at this."
  2886. >"Heh, have the kingdom, no problem, but a kid?"
  2887. >You blank.
  2888. "I... I don't... that's not-"
  2889. >She flicks your nose.
  2890. >"If it's any consolation, just imagine my position, considering the mother figure *I* have to draw experience from..."
  2891. "Wait, who..? You mean my grandmother?"
  2892. >"Killed by the plague when I was three. I meant *your* mother."
  2893. >OH.
  2894. "Y-yeah. Point taken."
  2895. >"Not to talk her down too much, though. She's actually being quite helpful."
  2896. "Really? How so?"
  2897. >"She told me some things while you were out. About the... process."
  2898. "Okay..?"
  2899. >"There's more to this than I thought, apparently."
  2900. "Well... anything I need to know about..?"
  2901. >"Yes. The plant needs... watering."
  2902. >She stares at you, pegging your reaction.
  2903. "Watering?"
  2904. >"Watering."
  2905. "Y-you mean..?"
  2906. >"Yes." She interrupts.
  2907. >"T-to ensure the best possible health outcomes, of course..."
  2908. >Huh...
  2909. >Is that really how this works?
  2910. >Did this fact of life really manage to elude you for this long?
  2911. "H-how often are we talking, here?"
  2912. >"Nothing serious. Just... three times."
  2913. "Per... week?"
  2914. >"Day."
  2915. "WH-"
  2916. >You hack up a cough, your tongue somehow managing to find its way right down your throat.
  2917. "Per DAY? Did I mishear?"
  2918. >"No... for the first three months, at least. After that... it's only half that."
  2919. >WHOA.
  2920. >DON'T ARGUE WITH IT, ANON.
  2921. >You're not a trained physician, after all, or a woman. What would you know about this stuff?
  2922. >RIGHT?
  2923. >"Still have a headache? I was thinking we'd catch up to the schedule..."
  2924. "N-NO. I'm completely-SHIT."
  2925. >Something inside your temple flares up.
  2926. >"Heh, don't worry. I'll wait."
  2927. >She shifts her position, wrapping her arms around your head in an affectionate embrace.
  2928. >"This is nice, too."
  2929.  
  2930. <perspective change>
  2931. >A wall of noise slams into your face as you're walked out of the palace, a pair of guards prodding you forward.
  2932. >It's a sea of people, their heads replacing the desert landscape as far as the eye can see. And further.
  2933. >They're all waving something. Pitchforks, torches, spears, swords...
  2934. >What are they angry about, again..?
  2935. >"HERETIC'S SISTER!"
  2936. >A rotten apple narrowly misses your face, someone in the front of the crowd yelling obscenities more enthusiastically than anyone else.
  2937. >It's the high priest.
  2938. >"BURN HER! BURN HER!"
  2939. >Oh. Right.
  2940. >Your sister was overthrown by some overzealous rebels.
  2941. >And now they've come for you.
  2942. >You notice you're standing a wooden platform, a stake twice as tall as you protruding from the center.
  2943. >You lean your back to the stake with a sigh, letting your hands and feet be bound to it.
  2944. >Strange. The thought of this happening used to keep you up at night, but now... you don't even care.
  2945. >You look over the mob, your face cracking an involuntary smile.
  2946. >Why are you so content? Did something good happen recently?
  2947. >Another pair of guards walks out of the shadows, bringing with them a third figure.
  2948. >Your heart stops.
  2949. >It's Anon.
  2950. "Anon..? HEY!"
  2951. >Why are they bringing him out?
  2952. >Fear grips your chest as he's pushed on his knees, your nephew not acknowledging your existence.
  2953. >One of the guards walks to his side, holding a giant axe.
  2954. "W-wait, stop!"
  2955. >His face is completely empty. Like he's given up.
  2956. >You pull at the ropes binding you as the flames brew below, the heat sizzling the beads of sweat on your legs.
  2957. "He's just a KID!"
  2958. >They can't do this, can they? He's never harmed ANYONE.
  2959. >Smoke rising all around, breathing is getting uncomfortably difficult.
  2960. >You desperately attempt to free your hands as you hold your breath, your struggles only rewarded with friction burns on your wrists.
  2961. >The axe rises over his head, smoke completely blocking your view at the last moment.
  2962. >*THUNK*
  2963.  
  2964. >Your eyelids shoot open, your mouth sucking in a massive breath of air.
  2965. >Gripping something soft with your hands, you note the pillow under your head as your eyes adjust to the darkness.
  2966. >Wrists don't hurt. No smoke. No rebels.
  2967. >You unbuckle your fists, the sheets nearly all the way on the floor by your feet.
  2968. >It's kinda cold...
  2969. >You look to your left, consumed by irrational relief upon seeing your now-husband nephew's soundly sleeping face, laying on his side.
  2970. >He's right here. Head on his shoulders. Completely unharmed.
  2971. >But your heart won't stop racing.
  2972. >You carefully scoot up against him, your forehead nearly touching his chest as you make yourself as small as possible.
  2973. >Calm down, damn it. You've had these nightmares before.
  2974. >Your childhood was riddled with them, in fact.
  2975. >Turns out the ever-present threat of angry mobs knocking down your door took its toll.
  2976. >You gulp.
  2977. >These dreams always had the same progression.
  2978. >Walked out the palace.
  2979. >Heckled by a mob.
  2980. >Bound to a stake.
  2981. >Then you'd wait for the fire and smoke to eliminate your senses one by one, only to wake up drenched in sweat and frantically looking around for hostiles.
  2982. >But this time, the fire below your feet was but an afterthought.
  2983. >You clutch at your chest, the memory of that thunking sound still fresh in your head.
  2984. >This was WORSE.
  2985. >"Hrrrmmmf-"
  2986. >You freeze as he grumbles, not daring to move a muscle.
  2987. >His arm suddenly lands over your shoulders, goosebumps forming on every square inch of your skin.
  2988. >You melt into your mattress as he pulls you closer, all your accumulated terror evaporating in an instant, replaced by something else.
  2989. >Something you haven't really felt since your brother's passing.
  2990. >Something, you realize, is all you ever really wanted.
  2991. >Safety.
  2992. </perspective change>
  2993.  
  2994. >Sitting unceremoniously on a bench next to your supreme commander, you take a deep breath, eyes fixed on a closed door on the other side of the walkway.
  2995. >The day is finally here, and what a long day it's turning out to be.
  2996. "D-does it normally take this long?"
  2997. >"Sometimes. My-"
  2998. >A pair of maidens push the door open to fetch some water, your wife's momentarily unfiltered screams punching you squarely in the gut.
  2999. >"Ahem..." Norman breaks the tension. "My youngest brother took four hours to come out."
  3000. "Fuck."
  3001. >It's only been HALF that time since your wife was rushed into the room, and you can already feel your hair greying.
  3002. "You sent the pigeons, right? Please tell me you sent the pigeons."
  3003. >"You think asking a fourth time will change the answer? Every temple in the kingdom should be burning a goat right about now."
  3004. "They damn well better, or I swear, pyramid duty won't cut it..."
  3005. >"Dude, relax. My mother did this seven times, and she never-"
  3006. "RELAX? Is that YOUR wife-aunt in there, giving birth to YOUR child-cousin?"
  3007. >He pauses, averting his eyes.
  3008. >"Uhh..."
  3009. "Are those YOUR messenger pigeons dodging falcons just to get to priests that probably want me dead?"
  3010. >"That's an exaggeration. Falcons this time of year are feeding their young, meaning they mostly go after smaller prey, like rodents."
  3011. "Mostly? WOW, that makes me feel SO much better. Do the rebellious clergy next, will you? Your pharaoh needs your quality reassurance now more than ever."
  3012. >He rolls his eyes, completely ignoring the pained wailing coming from inside the room.
  3013. >"Look, I parked a garrison at every temple, they wouldn't dare neglect their duties with troops constantly staring up their robes. The gods will protect your family."
  3014. "Wait... you did? I don't remember ordering that."
  3015. >"You didn't, I just kinda figured I should do it... being the supreme commander comes with that authority, doesn't it?"
  3016. >Huh.
  3017. >Not bad.
  3018.  
  3019. "This is all still assuming the pigeons reach the temples in time, though."
  3020. >"Why wouldn't they? Vast distances are nothing to a bird."
  3021. "Because - for one - the temple of Isis is all the way up in the CATARACTS. Even for a bird, flying there in just two hours seems like a stretch."
  3022. >"It won't be late. This isn't some wimpy European pigeon, it's the mighty African one. You know how much distance they can cover in a day, right?"
  3023. "Three thousand furlongs, yes? That's cutting it pretty close."
  3024. >"SIX thousand." He holds up a finger. "I instructed the caretakers to keep the pigeons hungry, so they'll hurry to its destination."
  3025. "PFFT-SIX THOUSAND?"
  3026. >A cough slips through your mouth.
  3027. "Tell me something, can you DOUBLE your running speed if you're promised food at the end of the race? That's UTTERLY unrealistic."
  3028. >"That is NOT a valid comparison. A satiated pigeon sees no reason to go beyond a light jog, it's only when it's hungry that it breaks into a run."
  3029. "Camelshit. The pigeon still wants to go back home, that's why we use them in the first place."
  3030. >"Maybe so, but I'm telling you, the average airspeed velocity of an unladen African pigeon is well within the boundaries of-"
  3031. "UNLADEN?"
  3032. >You interrupt, your companion recoiling.
  3033. "It's not UNLADEN, it's carrying a MESSAGE. You think we tattooed it's feathers?"
  3034. >"What does that matter?"
  3035. "Are you for real? It's a simple matter of weight ratios. Any extra weight will slow down-"
  3036. >"It's a freaking TINY piece of papyrus that weighs next to NOTHING."
  3037. "BIRDS WEIGH NEXT TO NOTHING."
  3038. >"Ah, now YOU camelshit. Anyone who's handled a pigeon can testify to the contrary."
  3039. "Even IF I grant you that, the strap still reduces the aerodynamics of the pigeon."
  3040. >"Are you suggesting that the strap alone *halves* the speed of the pigeon, simply by flapping in the wind?"
  3041. "No, you're the one who suggested DOUBLE the generally accepted-"
  3042. >The door suddenly swings open, nothing but silence coming from within.
  3043.  
  3044. >Silence..?
  3045. >You jump on your feet, a line of maids exiting the room.
  3046. >The last one shoots you a glance, quickening her pace.
  3047. >Nobody else walks out.
  3048. "W-what... hello?"
  3049. >A couple more moments pass, with nothing changing except your heartbeat.
  3050. >Luna's gone silent.
  3051. >And not just ANY kind of silent.
  3052. >COMPLETELY silent.
  3053. >No cries of relief, pain, or anything.
  3054. >Not a fucking PEEP.
  3055. >From ANYONE.
  3056. "Norman. Babies cry when they are born... don't they?"
  3057. >"A-as far as I know..."
  3058. >Starting to feel dizzy, you sit back on the bench, clutching your head.
  3059. >"Should I... go inside?"
  3060. "No."
  3061. >You take a deep breath, your head hanging.
  3062. "I'm going. Just give me... a minute..."
  3063. >Some indeterminate amount of time passes until the door creeps open, your mother's voice coming out.
  3064. >"Anon..?"
  3065. >You slowly angle up your head, dropping it back down with a heavy gulp as you see her bloody skirt.
  3066. >"It's... a girl..."
  3067. >Huh?
  3068. >The sound of a high-pitched cough catches your ears, the shot of overwhelming relief bringing a smile to your face.
  3069. >...before the sight in front of you brings your world crashing right back down.
  3070. >Robes painted red. Face shaking. Puffy eyes.
  3071. >And of course, in a bundle of some blood-stained cloth, she's holding the result of the last nine months of your marriage.
  3072. >"A beautiful, h-healthy..." She clenches her teeth, sucking through her nose. "...fearless little girl."
  3073. "M-mom..?"
  3074. >Why is she taking her outside to YOU, instead of the other way around?
  3075. >"A true warrior, this one. Entered the world without complaint..."
  3076. "MOM."
  3077. >Her posture cracks.
  3078. >"T-there was a... complication..."
  3079. >Without missing a beat, you jump on your feet and burst through the door, swiping away the curtains blocking the bed.
  3080. >There she is.
  3081. >Laying perfectly still on her back, her hand hanging limply over the bedside.
  3082. >Blanket covering her face.
  3083.  
  3084. >You rush through the hallway, away from reality, within seconds finding yourself in a clearing in the palace under the starry evening sky.
  3085. "Fuck. Fuck. FUCK."
  3086. >You let yourself fall on the ground onto your hands and knees, showing the sand no mercy from your banging fists or your flooding eyes.
  3087. "F-"
  3088. >You choke up, unable to keep cursing, a primal roar coming out instead.
  3089. >What did you do to deserve this? What did SHE do to deserve this?
  3090. >She may have lived a questionable lifestyle in the past, but she CHANGED. You SAW IT HAPPEN.
  3091. >Haven't you been a pious little pawn of the gods? Haven't you always paid your dues?
  3092. >You fall exhausted on the sand, grasping two handfuls as a thought enters your head.
  3093. >Isis.
  3094. >She did this. There's no other explanation.
  3095. >A purr sounds behind you.
  3096. >You pause.
  3097. >Lifting your head, an oh-so familiar sight greeting you.
  3098. >A certain black cat rubbing itself against your feet.
  3099. >You sit upright, letting it come around you.
  3100. >Seeing nobody around, you scratch it's head, the rage settling into a more bitter sorrow.
  3101. "I guess I still have you..."
  3102. >This cat has been with you for almost as long as you can remember yourself.
  3103. >How many countless times has it convinced you to share your food?
  3104. >How many pebbles has it chased, thrown by your hand?
  3105. >How many sleepless nights did it help you through, while your mother was out fighting rebels?
  3106. >And still, you'd give it all away in a heartbeat, if only it would make a difference...
  3107. >WAIT.
  3108. >You gulp, a violent shudder running through you.
  3109. >That must be it...
  3110. >A second chance.
  3111. >One that you don't have a choice but to take.
  3112. "C-c'mere..."
  3113. >You wave your hand around, directing the cat to playfully slump on its side, letting you rub its belly.
  3114. "Good girl..."
  3115. >Shaking, you work your hand up its spine, a lifetime's worth of accumulated trust allowing you to grab hold of its neck.
  3116. "I'm... I'm sorry..."
  3117. >Trust that you're about to break.
  3118.  
  3119. >You scamper back into the hallways, balancing yourself on the wall.
  3120. >You're fucked.
  3121. >Sacrifices don't work like this. They prevent future ills, they don't revert the past.
  3122. >Isis must be having a good laugh at your gullibility.
  3123. >Wonder if she'll keep laughing after her palace is razed, her priests are in chains, and her name is wiped from every written record in existence...
  3124. >"Your majesty..?"
  3125. "Huh? Oh, Norman? What?"
  3126. >"Nothing, just..."
  3127. >Right, your mother must have sent him.
  3128. >He didn't see you just now, did he?
  3129. "Whatever."
  3130. >He slings his hand around your shoulders, supporting you on your walk.
  3131. "So... do you want the throne?"
  3132. >"W-what?"
  3133. "I'll make you my heir. When you're ready, I'll abdicate, because I'm done with this shit. I'm fucking d-"
  3134. >In a split second, you find your back against a wall, your cheek stinging from a loud SLAP.
  3135. >"GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF. Are you INSANE? It's a good thing I found you before you went and did something STUPID."
  3136. >Well, you already did...
  3137. >"My father risked his LIFE fighting for your right to sit on the throne. So did THOUSANDS, not to mention your own damn MOTHER."
  3138. >You look away, a slap promptly hitting your other cheek.
  3139. >"LOOK AT ME. The fearless warrior queen herself just broke down in front of me the moment you fled the scene."
  3140. "She... she did?"
  3141. >"You think you're the only one who just lost a relative? What are you going to do?"
  3142. "W-what..?"
  3143. >"WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?"
  3144. >He gives you a shake, keeping fierce eye contact.
  3145. "I'm... g-going back."
  3146. >"That's a start." He releases you. "What about me?"
  3147. "Huh..?"
  3148. >Oh...
  3149. >You swallow your emotions, straightening your posture.
  3150. >This could cause trouble, now that you think about it...
  3151. "K-keep constant guard for the next week. Deal with any rabble that comes your way as you see fit. Dismissed."
  3152. >"Yessir." He salutes, turning and leaving.
  3153. >Leaving you, to face your worst nightmare...
  3154. >"Oh, your majesty?"
  3155. >He turns again.
  3156. "Yes..?"
  3157. >"I'm sorry for your loss."
  3158.  
  3159. >Back in your initial waiting spot, you find yourself hesitating, one of the worst sounds imaginable stopping you outside the door.
  3160. >Your mother's cries.
  3161. >Norman wasn't lying. These aren't just muted weeps...
  3162. >As much as they seemed ready to claw each other's eyes out at times, this shouldn't come as a surprise.
  3163. >You have a lifetime's worth of memories of Luna making life difficult for your mother, but her patience always seemed to stretch a little bit further.
  3164. >They were still sisters. But if you're surprised... would she be?
  3165. >How would she react, if she could see her big sister so broken on her deathbed?
  3166. >You shake your head, the thought more than a little painful.
  3167. >This isn't your mother's first deathbed visit, come to think of it...
  3168. "Dad... what the fuck do I do?"
  3169. >No answer. Of course not.
  3170. >Why would you need his advice, anyway? He's the one who started all this by leaving you the sole male of this disfunctional mess of a family.
  3171. >You've just got to do it... just walk in.
  3172. >You hold your breath, pushing open the door.
  3173. >Facing the curtains a second time, the now-unfiltered sobbing noises provide a further punch in the gut.
  3174. >Just walk in...
  3175. >Your heart beating faster with every step, you round the curtains, steeling your nerves.
  3176. "Mom?"
  3177. >Not noticing you, your mother's laying on the bed, clutching Luna's head, sobbing into her hair.
  3178. >The lifeless husk mostly blocked from your view, you see it propped up in a half-sitting position, holding your newborn daughter in its arms.
  3179. "Mom..."
  3180. >Seeing only the back of her head, you keep your distance, waiting for your mother to respond.
  3181. >"Anon... help..!"
  3182. >Wait, what?
  3183. >That didn't sound like her... and she's STILL SOBBING.
  3184. >Not daring to trust your ears, you step to the side for another look, closing in on a little detail you glossed over the first time.
  3185. >IT'S HOLDING YOUR DAUGHTER.
  3186.  
  3187. >"Anon, help! She's lost her mind!"
  3188. "L... L..."
  3189. >Your mouth hangs open.
  3190. >She's here, in all the ways you didn't expect.
  3191. >You step forward, throwing yourself on the unoccupied side of the bed, doing the only thing you can think of.
  3192. >You grab hold of her mid-section, and SQUEEZE.
  3193. >"HHNN-"
  3194. >Overwhelmed by relief, you hide your face in her hair, focusing on the sound of her voice.
  3195. >The voice you thought you'd heard for the last time.
  3196. "Praise Isis..."
  3197. >SHE ACTUALLY CAME THROUGH.
  3198. >"Y-you too..?" She inhales, catching her breath. "Did something happen after I passed out?"
  3199. >"PASSED OUT?" Your mother sniffles. "You didn't have a PULSE."
  3200. >"Don't be silly." She squirms, trying to keep her airway open. "I'd be dead."
  3201. >"You were!" Your mother immediately responds. "We tried everything! You were gone!"
  3202. >Luna pauses, looking down.
  3203. >"Uhh..."
  3204. >Noticing the bloody sheets, she turns to you, eyebrows raised.
  3205. "It's true..."
  3206. >You see a flicker of uncertainty in her eyes.
  3207. >"W-well... enough of me already."
  3208. >She sits further up against the wall with a sigh, holding your daughter, wagging a finger in front of her for a reaction.
  3209. >"Look at you, all quiet..."
  3210. >All eyes in the room turn to the new member of the family.
  3211. >"I can't wait to make you a husband."
  3212. >"Hold your camels, Luna." Your mother interjects. "You're taking a break, physician's orders. A year."
  3213. >"A... a YEAR?"
  3214. >You cringe, feeling another argument coming.
  3215. >"I'm supposed to have my husband rule without an heir for another YEAR?"
  3216. >This really didn't take long, did it?
  3217. >"That's just INVITING trouble. You know that, right?"
  3218. >"Of course I know that..." Your mother lowers her voice.
  3219. >"I'd love to have plenty of nieces and nephews, don't get me wrong, but..."
  3220. >She reaches a hand over Luna's shoulders, pulling her into another, gentler hug.
  3221. >"I only have one sister..."
  3222.  
  3223. >Adorned in your full royal regalia, you sit on a makeshift throne outside the palace, overseeing the ceremony from a towering position.
  3224. >A long line of priests passes underneath you, carrying burning sticks of incense, chanting their holy passages as thousands of people watch along the walkway.
  3225. >The midpoint of the line finally passes by under you, the center of the ceremony carried on the backs of four men.
  3226. >The funeral sarcophagus.
  3227. >"If this is what you do for the cat that saved my life, what did you do to the poor pigeon that ended it?"
  3228. >Your wife, similarly decorated, sits next to you, feeding your still-unnamed daughter on her breast.
  3229. "It wasn't the pigeon's fault... the temple was simply too far to reach in the two hours it was given."
  3230. >You eye your supreme commander in the distance, who's busy keeping the crowd peaceful.
  3231. >This is one argument you will forever regret winning.
  3232. >"Right, so you're saying I should have stalled."
  3233. >Your daughter dislodges with a pop, breaking into a laugh.
  3234. >"Well, someone thought it was funny."
  3235. >You chuckle to yourself, watching over the ceremony.
  3236. >"By the way..." She leans over to you, lowering her voice.
  3237. >"I finally managed to convince Tia to cut my childbearing moratorium in half... so you have that to look forward to~"
  3238. "Huh, how'd you manage that? Did you threaten to have our children call her 'granny' instead of 'auntie'?"
  3239. >"Wh-" Her jaw drops. "Wow. I should have thought of that."
  3240. >You're going to regret making this joke, aren't you?
  3241. "Don't go there... she's worried for your life."
  3242. >"Not anymore!" She proudly puffs out her chest. "She inspected me, and concluded that she overreacted."
  3243. "She *inspected* you..?"
  3244. >"Yes." She smirks. "It was highly lesbianic."
  3245. >Hrrnnnggg...
  3246. >You shift in your seat, thinking of wrinkled, old men.
  3247. >Even if you can hide it, there's something about having a boner at a funeral in front of thousands of people that makes you uncomfortable.
  3248.  
  3249. >"Here."
  3250. >She holds your daughter in front of you, the child wrapped in cloth.
  3251. "What?"
  3252. >"Here." She repeats herself, motioning you to take her.
  3253. >You shift your eyes to the forty-foot drop next to you.
  3254. "...now?"
  3255. >"You think I don't trust the father of my daughter? She's stared at my face enough, her eyes are starting to wander."
  3256. >Father? Daughter?
  3257. >Shit. None of this feels real.
  3258. "Okay..."
  3259. >Reaching for your daughter, you cradle her in your arms.
  3260. >For the first time, now that you think about it. Yesterday was THAT much of a mess.
  3261. >You immediately feel a set of eyes on you.
  3262. >It's your daughter, staring intently at your face.
  3263. >Staring back, the intensity of her gaze is immediately apparent. She's observing your every move with the greatest curiosity.
  3264. >This is her first, real impression of you.
  3265. >Your hands suddenly sweating, you turn your face to stone.
  3266. >What happens if you move the wrong muscle? What kind of far-reaching consequences would a failed first impression have?
  3267. >You catch another set of eyes on you from your periphery.
  3268. >It's Luna. Not intensely scrutinizing, just... smiling.
  3269. >As if all is right in the world.
  3270. >Come to think of it, looking over the crowd... there are more eyes on you.
  3271. >Lots of them.
  3272. "Is it just me, or..?"
  3273. >Your wife leans against your shoulder, waving at the crowd, prompting someone to whistle.
  3274. >"It's not!" She giggles. "Smile!"
  3275. >What the hell? This is a FUNERAL.
  3276. "I'm not supposed to be the center of attention here..."
  3277. >She drops her hand, going silent.
  3278. >Looking to your right, the sarcophagus is already approaching the end of its destination.
  3279. >Just some patch of sand, where it will be buried, and a tomb built around it later.
  3280. >"What was its name?"
  3281. "Huh?"
  3282. >"The cat had a name, right? I never asked what it was."
  3283. >You gulp.
  3284. "Don't laugh, okay..?"
  3285. >She leans closer, your shoulders touching.
  3286. "Cadence. Her name was Cadence."
  3287.  
  3288. >Sighing in exasperation, you throw your gilded headdress on the floor.
  3289. >And your bracelets.
  3290. >And your necklaces.
  3291. >And your FUCKING PLATEBODY.
  3292. >Walking around half the time loaded with all this clunky, ceremonial crap is the sole reason you're in somewhat good shape, fencing lessons be damned.
  3293. >Useless metal unloaded, you feel lighter in more ways than one, finally having some alone-time in your room.
  3294. >Not technically alone, given the two sleeping beauties on the bed... but close enough.
  3295. >You peer at your daughter, approaching carefully.
  3296. >"Hrm... Cadence..." Luna mumbles with a dumb grin on her face, half-asleep.
  3297. >Calling your daughter that is going to feel weird, let alone HAVING a daughter.
  3298. >What are you supposed to do with this bald, toothless monstrosity?
  3299. >This is one damn fine mess you've gotten yourself into.
  3300. >Oh well...
  3301. >You stand up and head for the door.
  3302. >When in doubt, retreat to the stuff you already know, right?
  3303. >Good ol' taxes. The backbone of both your finances and your schedule.
  3304. >The door creeps open, revealing a figure waiting on the other side.
  3305. >"Message for his majesty, f-from the queen mother..."
  3306. >It's your mother's personal servant... whatever her name was.
  3307. >They keep quitting, for whatever reason, despite the high pay.
  3308. "She's sending me messages at this time of day? What is it?"
  3309. >She yawns.
  3310. >"Mistress wishes for thy presence in her room... and, uhh..."
  3311. >She sighs, her grimace revealing the bags under her eyes.
  3312. "...and?"
  3313. >"S-she wishes for his majesty to enter through... the back door."
  3314. >Huh?
  3315. "Back door? What back door..?"
  3316. >She just stands there, mumbling something through grit teeth.
  3317. "Her room is a balcony suite, it doesn't HAVE a back door."
  3318. >"Can I PLEASE be reassigned to the salt mines?"
  3319.  
  3320. >Gods damn it.
  3321. >You knock on your mother's door.
  3322. >You try to be nice, so of course you've had people ask for promotions, but the salt mines..?
  3323. >It's an open secret salt mining doubled as a death sentence for the rebels who tried to overthrow you during the regency.
  3324. >That's another thing, salt production levels *never* recovered after they turned into the underworld above ground...
  3325. >And the freaking gallows are JUST OUTSIDE THE PALACE.
  3326. >"Come in..!"
  3327. >You open the door, revealing a room more unassuming than its size would suggest.
  3328. >A perfectly made, king-sized bed on one side, some basic wooden shelves and wardrobes on the other.
  3329. >And on a chair, sitting in front a mirror, your mother.
  3330. >She's wearing her usual garbs, picking something out of her hair.
  3331. "I hope you don't mind that I used the FRONT DOOR..."
  3332. >Something clangs to the floor, her hair falling wildly around her as she looks over her shoulder.
  3333. >"Wow, she actually said that?"
  3334. >Gods be damned, that poor maid...
  3335. >She's clearly spreading obscene rumors about you again, but they were never meant to be funneled through a single propagator...
  3336. "Do we need to have a talk about how you treat your servants?"
  3337. >She steps up and sits on the bed, eyelids fluttering.
  3338. >"Go on, please. Scold me~"
  3339. "WHY DID YOU CALL ME?"
  3340. >Sitting on the edge, she pats the spot next to her.
  3341. >You reluctantly take the seat, immediately swept into a tight embrace.
  3342. >"You're a father now. What do you think that means?"
  3343. >Shit. Is she finally giving you *that* talk?
  3344. >Better not flub this, or she might figure out how clueless you are...
  3345. "It... it means..."
  3346. >Work that tongue, Anon...
  3347. "I need to, uhh... man up... b-become a role model... stop playing around..."
  3348. >"Wow, you're trying really HARD, aren't you? Did I RAISE you to be so STIFF?"
  3349. "W-what? Mom..?"
  3350. >Fingers on your chin, she forces your face to her side, your lips a mere inch from touching.
  3351. >"It means you're twice as attractive, daddy~"
  3352.  
  3353. "MOM..!"
  3354. >You shudder in confused revulsion.
  3355. >That's a lifetime of mother-son conditioning right there, forever shattered.
  3356. "Do NOT call me that."
  3357. >You move your face away, almost getting drunk off the smell alone.
  3358. >If that's not the most inappropriate way imaginable for a mother to address her son, it's certainly the most uncomfortable...
  3359. "I will stand up, walk out, and not come back until you've written a formal apology to me and your *actual* father, Horus rest his-"
  3360. >"Aww..." Wearing a moronic grin, she moves right back into your face, her arms fondling your chest.
  3361. >"Such a family man... like your father-uncle... and his father-uncle before him... and his father-uncle before him..."
  3362. "OKAY... how much have you been drinking?"
  3363. >"...all the way back to Horus himself."
  3364. >You're pretty sure your ancestry isn't THAT perfectly structured, but sure...
  3365. >"F-funny... that you mentioned him. Did you ever hear about the legend of Horus the wise?"
  3366. "You mean how he united the kingdom..? My history tutor never went there, for some reason."
  3367. >"I thought not. It's not a story the clergy would tell you."
  3368. >She clears her throat, making an effort to speak as clearly as possible.
  3369. >Okay, so apparently it's story time, now... sure.
  3370. >"At first, Horus only ruled in the north. His uncle, Set, ruled in the south, and they were at war over the lands of the other."
  3371. "Don't overdo it, mom. I'll fetch you some wate-"
  3372. >She grabs your hand.
  3373. >"Tired of the stalemate they'd fought to, Set hatched A PLAN. To win over the support of the other gods against his nephew, simple and bloodless."
  3374. >She waves her other arm around dramatically while speaking, rousing a touch of nostalgia.
  3375. >You haven't had a story-telling evening like this since you grew above her waist.
  3376. >Maybe this won't be so bad. The stories always used to be fun, at least.
  3377. >Ra fighting off monsters in the underworld, Kek crossing the Nile on the back of a frog...
  3378. >"By SEDUCING him."
  3379.  
  3380. >You choke on a gulp of air.
  3381. "E-excuse me?"
  3382. >"Heh... proof of dominance would establish legitimacy in the eyes of the other gods, and the easiest way to provide that proof-"
  3383. "You can't be serious... is THAT how they settled disputes back then?"
  3384. >"YESH..!"
  3385. >She clears her throat again.
  3386. >What kind of freaks have you been worshiping this whole time?
  3387. >"But unfortunately for Set, Horus was on to his plan, so he performed the most LEGENDARY maneuver EVER performed and NEVER repeated since..."
  3388. >Oh boy, this should be good.
  3389. >"Pulling out AT THE LAST MOMENT without his uncle even NOTICING that his shot landed on the outside..!"
  3390. "W-what..."
  3391. >"Don't even TRY to picture it. The text wasn't heavy on descriptions, unfortunately."
  3392. "Yes... that's unfortunate."
  3393. >"Well, with his pride still intact, Horus decided to turn the tables on his uncle by depositing his OWN load into his uncle's food..."
  3394. "Ugh, mom... I just ate."
  3395. >Giggling to herself, she tightens the grip.
  3396. >"...so when the other gods came to mediate the dispute, Set asked them to magically summon his load, thinking it would... *flow* out of his nephew."
  3397. >Don't picture it... don't picture it... don't fucking picture it.
  3398. >"When nothing happened, Horus, to Set's surprise, asked them the same thing. And lo and behold, a load emerged from his stomach..!"
  3399. >You'll bet other emotions were involved than just surprise...
  3400. >"Tricked into thinking Horus had FORCED HIMSELF down his uncle's throat, the gods were impressed and granted Horus full dominion over his lands."
  3401. >Ugh...
  3402. >"And that's how Egypt was made!"
  3403. "Beautiful. Now, if you'll excuse, I have nightmares to get to."
  3404. >You lean forward, the weight on your shoulders keeping you down.
  3405. "If you'll let go, that is..."
  3406. >"Heh... no."
  3407. "No..?"
  3408. >You really don't want to pull the 'I'm the pharaoh, you can't tell me what to do' card, but...
  3409. >"This story had a LESSON, young man..."
  3410.  
  3411. "What? Keep your pantry guarded?"
  3412. >"No, silly..."
  3413. >She hugs you from the side, resting her face on your shoulder.
  3414. >"Correctly, uhh... *managing* your family relations is important if you want to stay in the good graces of the gods."
  3415. >You have a WEIRD feeling about this.
  3416. >"I've been a knock on a door away for the last nine months, and NOTHING has happened. As far as they're concerned, that's scandalous!"
  3417. >You gulp as she starts licking her lips.
  3418. "You're my MOTHER."
  3419. >"They all marry their sisters, mothers and daughters up there, so if you want to fit in, you have to make them think you're-"
  3420. "OH."
  3421. >You try your best to not sigh out your relief.
  3422. "Fool the gods, like Horus did, right? Okay, I'll play along, as long as you don't-"
  3423. >She forcefully pushes you on your back, laughing creepily over you.
  3424. >"No, my dear, handsome little pharaoh... I doubt they'll be fooled twice..."
  3425. >Aiming for your lips, she drops her face towards yours, narrowly missing as you turn your head.
  3426. "M-mom..! I am in a committed, monogamous relationship... with your sister, of all people!"
  3427. >"Ugh..." Her face sours upon mention of Luna. "Yes, I spoke with her..."
  3428. >She throws her hair back, preventing it from falling into your face.
  3429. >"Since she's... off-limits for a while, I went and... asked if she would mind... y'know..."
  3430. "W-WHOA, WAIT. She agreed to that..?"
  3431. >"She's actually quite reasonable, despite her best efforts. Now..."
  3432. >She drops her head again, plunging into a kiss you were completely unprepared for, your teeth clanging together.
  3433. "O-okay-"
  3434. >You pull back, face flushed.
  3435. "WAIT."
  3436. >It's time to be the sober person in the room.
  3437. "Focus and think this through. Whatever this would accomplish, it's not worth a succession crisis..!"
  3438. >"Ah, so you figured out my dilemma."
  3439. >She hovers over your face, pecking the side of your mouth.
  3440. "You're not acting like there's any dilemma here..."
  3441. >"Because I already resolved it~"
  3442.  
  3443. >Not daring to ask, you watch as your mother pulls a strap of your tunic, the unbound cloth falling down your shoulders.
  3444. >'Conflicted' wouldn't even begin to describe how you're feeling right now.
  3445. >You've had "lessons" with her before, but they both ended before anything serious happened.
  3446. >Given your vow of monogamy, you've so far been able to skirt the question of whether that's something you actually WANT.
  3447. >Despite everything, this is your mother you're talking about here.
  3448. >Busty, young for someone with a son your age, and undeniably beautiful by any metric, but still... your mother.
  3449. >"You know what I mean, right?"
  3450. >Your heart takes an extra beat as she collects her hair into a tail, throwing it above her shoulder to settle on her chest.
  3451. "You... you mean... THAT..?"
  3452. >She smirks like a serial killer.
  3453. >"Sorry, what's 'THAT'?"
  3454. >How did you live with this person for so long?
  3455. "F-fuck you."
  3456. >"Don't threaten me with a good time~"
  3457. >She leans on you, sloppily pulling at your garments until she finds your confused erection pointing at her face.
  3458. >"Heh... nervous?"
  3459. >You bite your tongue, gulping.
  3460. "A-a-and what..? You're not..?"
  3461. >"Well, I probably would be, but no..."
  3462. >She takes a long chug of something no doubt alcoholic from a cup, exhaling the fumes as she throws it on the floor.
  3463. >Where the hell did she pull that cup from..?
  3464. >"Because I feel... k-kinda n-..." She blinks a couple of times, refocusing her vision. "...numb."
  3465. >OH, FUCK THIS.
  3466. "Mom, enough already."
  3467. >You stand up, shaking your arousal out of your head.
  3468. "I'm not doing anything while you're near-blackout drunk except fetching you a-"
  3469. >The cup clangs loudly on the floor.
  3470. >"Sit the fuck down, you little shit."
  3471.  
  3472. >Your thought process screeches to a halt, an invisible force compelling you back on the bed.
  3473. >"Did you know that the Hittite king is madly jealous of your position? Huh? You know why that is? HUH?"
  3474. "Uhh... I-uhh..."
  3475. >You lean back as she pokes you in the chest, suddenly speaking with perfect clarity.
  3476. >"You think it's because of your monogamy stunt with Luna? You think he'd be jealous of the chains you willingly hung around your neck?"
  3477. "Wuh-well..."
  3478. >"NO. He's jealous because HIS mother is an uptight, prudish CUNT, while *I* am letting you BONE me anywhere it fits. OR SO THE RUMORS GO."
  3479. "Jeez, mom..."
  3480. >"Shut your mouth and listen."
  3481. >You clam up, the measured, surgical force of her words hitting you like a camel's kick to the head.
  3482. >"He could have an army of a HUNDRED THOUSAND men at our northern border by the end of the month, but he WON'T because the man willing to fuck his mother is likely to do ANYTHING in retaliation. OR SO THE RUMORS GO."
  3483. >She exhales, dropping her voice to a chilly whisper, leaning towards your face.
  3484. >"Tell your little inner angel to fuck off to the salt mines. A touchy conscience is for plebs who need to watch whose lands they step on. You know who owns every plot of land in this kingdom?"
  3485. >She pokes your chest again, whipping your nose with her finger as you look down.
  3486. >"That's right. YOU."
  3487. >You gulp, recoiling from her tirade.
  3488. >"You don't have to paint the halls with the blood of anyone who looks at you the wrong way, but BY THE GODS, when an attractive woman presents herself to you, FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS. That's WHY they're THERE."
  3489. "B-but-"
  3490. >"NO BUTS."
  3491. >She grabs your shoulders.
  3492. >"You'll have your way with her, and you'll tell her to get the fuck out of your room when you're done. Understand?
  3493. "W-what..?"
  3494. >"She won't even care because you were JUST THAT GOOD, because YOU DO THIS ALL THE TIME. You know why?"
  3495. "Err... why?"
  3496. >"BECAUSE YOU'RE THE FUCKING PHARAOH."
  3497.  
  3498. >Speechless, you watch your mother's face go from furious to annoyed in front of you.
  3499. >You look around aimlessly, trying your best to quell the shock as fast as possible.
  3500. >The silence becoming unbearable, you hazard a look at your mother, seeing her looking away herself.
  3501. >With tears in her eyes.
  3502. "M-mom..?"
  3503. >She looks back, eyes trembling.
  3504. >"I..."
  3505. >Bursting on the spot, she jumps into your chest, squeezing you while hiding her face in your shoulder.
  3506. >"I-I'm sorry..! I don't know what came over me."
  3507. >She sniffles.
  3508. >"I'll take any punishment... as long as... as long as..."
  3509. >She sniffles again, the pressure of the hug dissipating.
  3510. >"By the end of it... I get to see you again... unlike my brother..."
  3511. "Okay, pause."
  3512. >Ouch.
  3513. "I really don't like this. Nothing makes me resent my power like hearing my own mother beg for mercy."
  3514. >She droops in your arms, reacting to your words with an involuntary jolt.
  3515. "I'll go insane if even my own family treats me like a ruler, so I won't treat my family like servants. It's unnatural."
  3516. >"B-but... you have to... r-rebels will come..."
  3517. "There are no rebels, mom. It's been six years since you stamped out the last outbreak."
  3518. >And she did a fantastic job at it, looking like an unflinching goddess of war while systematically exterminating its leaders after slaughtering their armies in the field...
  3519. >But doing little but that for years on end sure seems to have left its mark.
  3520. >You've always known she's not some brutal tyrant by nature, so her attempts to turn you into one never made any sense... until now, that is.
  3521. "You don't have to worry about that anymore."
  3522. >She pulls back.
  3523. >"Y-you don't understand, I don't have a choice. You're.. my boy. T-there's nothing I wouldn't..."
  3524. >She gently strokes your cheek with her hand, averting her eyes from your face to the view of the sunset outside the balcony.
  3525. >"I would nail the Sun to the sky if it meant I could watch you admire the twilight for a little bit longer."
  3526.  
  3527. >You gulp, hiding your blush by diving into another hug.
  3528. >This is intimidating in a completely different way from her earlier outburst.
  3529. >Are you supposed to feel this way about your daughter? Will that just... gradually happen?
  3530. "Listen, mom... I can't just start sleeping around with anyone who wants it, nor do I really want to, but-"
  3531. >"Rumors won't uphold your image forever, you have to-"
  3532. "BUT..."
  3533. >You break the hug and put your hands on her shoulders.
  3534. >That makes you look firm, right?
  3535. "If it's you, since Luna apparently okayed it..."
  3536. >"W-what?"
  3537. >She recoils, looking confused.
  3538. >And is that a blush?
  3539. >"I... I thought you weren't going to treat me like a... a servant..."
  3540. "If that's how lowly you think of our servants-"
  3541. >WAIT.
  3542. >Hold up a fucking minute here...
  3543. >You send her a sly smile, noticing her recoiling slightly.
  3544. "Would you prefer if I framed it as 'putting on a show for the gods', or whatever it was..?"
  3545. >"Wha... huh?"
  3546. "It's either that or making me 'shed my inner angel', right? I figured I should let you choose."
  3547. >She blinks, looking totally oblivious.
  3548. >"Wait... I don't..."
  3549. >Probably because you're drunk off your camels, mom. The most classic of blunders.
  3550. >Right next to land wars in Asia.
  3551. "Convincing someone of something is typically an exercise in demonstrating benefit to the person in question, right?"
  3552. >Wow, show-off monologues sure feel good. No wonder she does it so often.
  3553. "When that fails, they'll either give up or push their reasoning harder... if they're being up-front with their motives, that is. If NOT..."
  3554. >You feel your erection rise to attention, accompanied by warm butterflies in your chest.
  3555. "...they'll push a DIFFERENT line of reasoning."
  3556. >This little realization is turning you on harder than any of her advances today, for whatever reason.
  3557. >No, actually, you know exactly why.
  3558. "You just really want to do this, don't you?"
  3559.  
  3560. >You'd get impatient for an answer, but watching her avoiding eye contact with the heaviest blush you've ever seen is doing things to you.
  3561. >"W-what does it matter... what I want..?"
  3562. "It matters to me, mom."
  3563. >You scoot closer, feeling bold enough to lift her chin with your hand.
  3564. "Tell you what. I'll scratch your itch in any way you want, with one condition."
  3565. >"Y-yes?"
  3566. "No role-playing. I want you as you are... my mother."
  3567. >You hear a sharp inhale, noticing her wrist covering the spot between her legs.
  3568. >"That-"
  3569. >Breathing heavy, she leans forward, your foreheads nearly touching.
  3570. >"T-that was..."
  3571. >She leans the final distance into a desperate kiss, knocking you on your back.
  3572. >"...the h-h-hottest..."
  3573. "Whoa, hold your camels. We can't be getting carried away."
  3574. >Her face freezes in place above you, her eyes bloodshot.
  3575. "Luna will kill us both if there's a 'happy accident', and I doubt she could deal with the pretender rebels afterwards on her own."
  3576. >"O-oh... right..."
  3577. >She lifts herself off, turning her back to you as she clutches her chest.
  3578. >It sounds like she's doing breathing exercises to calm herself down.
  3579. >"Okay... w-will you..."
  3580. >She turns again after a final sigh.
  3581. >"H-how about..."
  3582. "Don't ask. Tell."
  3583. >Speaking so sternly wouldn't do you many favors in the bedroom with Luna, but your mother is different.
  3584. >Beneath the exterior hardened by rulership and relentless army campaigning, is actually a woman who prefers being submissive.
  3585. >She hasn't explicitly told you that, but her raging blush is making it pretty obvious.
  3586. "I'm doing you a favor, so you do the leading."
  3587. >You'd have thought you couldn't be dominant while taking orders, but here you are...
  3588.  
  3589. >"G-give me a hug, and... say something nice."
  3590. >Your heart skips a beat, seeing her twirling her hair with her finger and avoiding eye contact.
  3591. >A surprisingly innocent request, but then again, you're both completely naked...
  3592. "thinkfast"
  3593. >She squeaks as you launch your body forward, wrapping your arms around her before she lands on her back.
  3594. >You didn't *have* to tackle her, but leaning forward while you're both sitting on the bed would've just been awkward.
  3595. "People might mistake you for the sister I never had if you don't start aging soon."
  3596. >"Pff-okay..."
  3597. >She flips your positions.
  3598. >"It's times like these that I stop wishing you were the adorable kid you used to be..."
  3599. >She lays her head on your chest, getting comfortable instead of returning the hug.
  3600. "Good, because I'd rather not go back to being molested by Luna while you're out bathing in the blood of my enemies."
  3601. >"I always told her to go easy on you, for what it's worth..."
  3602. >In other words, she encouraged her. Because of course she did.
  3603. "Well, I will not be subjecting my daughter to any of this kind of-"
  3604. >"You have this all wrong. It's Cadence who will be doing this to your son, since they'll end up together anyways."
  3605. "Huh..."
  3606. >Damn, that's a good point.
  3607. "H-wait a minute..! We decided on her name like three hours ago, so how in the f-"
  3608. >"Word travels fast. Soon the world shall know she was named after a cat, too."
  3609. "In case you think that's inappropriate, I'm going to deify that cat and build it its own temple."
  3610. >You attempt to sit up, your mother pushing you back down with the palm of her hand.
  3611. >"Not inappropriate, just funny. Stay down."
  3612. >She gets off, leaving only her head on your stomach, staring sideways at your erection just as it springs to life.
  3613. >"No hands, but don't worry."
  3614. >She grabs hold, her intent obvious.
  3615. >"You'll get your chance to shine after I'm done giving this thing a shine."
  3616.  
  3617. >Any protests you might have had were silenced as soon as your ship docked in the mouth of the river.
  3618. >Pulling and pushing your skin with her hand at your base, she runs her tongue from the underside of your glans, over the tip to other side, returning in a tight circle before pushing down.
  3619. "Hnn-"
  3620. >You keep down a grunt as she suckles on your tip, a mad impulse pushing you to do something unthinkable.
  3621. >Grabbing her head.
  3622. >With your hands.
  3623. "Ohh, fuck..."
  3624. >She looks at you in surprise as you pump into her face, controlling her head movements.
  3625. "M-mom~"
  3626. >You increase your pace, finding a particularly nice corner of her mouth to thrust up against.
  3627. "I'm... I'm gonna-"
  3628. >Your pathetic attempt at a sentence degenerates into a series of grunts as you tense up, thrusting a final time before unleashing several spurts into the inside of her cheek.
  3629. >Well, this was a pretty okay life.
  3630. >Most of it was pretty scary, but the incest near the end made it all worth it.
  3631. >You throw your head back on the bed, content with spending your last moments looking at the ceiling.
  3632. >"You know, if you were ANYONE ELSE..."
  3633. >Is that an opportunity for damage control..? She must be getting soft.
  3634. "Sorry, your hair was just too beautiful not to mess with."
  3635. >Almost as beautiful as this silence right now.
  3636. >"Wh-"
  3637. >You dare to look, relieved to see a smile creeping her her face.
  3638. >"I can't believe I'm letting you get away with this..."
  3639. >You suppress a chuckle.
  3640. "Do you have any idea who I am?"
  3641. >"Will you behave if I say 'please'? I can't move this along if you keep finishing yourself off."
  3642. >You fall back on the bed, perching your palms behind the back of your head.
  3643. "You don't even have to say it, for I am a gracious ruler."
  3644. >"Oh, what monster have I created?"
  3645. >She rolls her eyes, flicking the tip of your dick with her finger.
  3646. >"Stay down, and no hands. PLEASE."
  3647.  
  3648. >She wastes no time, engulfing your semi-erection down to the base.
  3649. >As soon as she started, she stops.
  3650. "Err..."
  3651. >Not wasting anything but saliva, it seems.
  3652. >You raise your head as her inactivity drags on, finding her staring at you in return, the eye contact surprisingly uncomfortable.
  3653. "What are you-"
  3654. >You erection springs to attention, your mother reacting with a pop and a chuckle.
  3655. >"I see you just figured it out~"
  3656. "Wha-OH."
  3657. >"Heh, a time lag between the two heads? That's cute."
  3658. >Damn.
  3659. >You thought you'd already mentally prepared yourself for this, but things are getting REAL, now...
  3660. >Your heart starts picking up steam as she turns and lays on her back on top of you, your bodies parallel.
  3661. >"Okay, now I want you to... take my virginity."
  3662. >She squirms, positioning your dick with her hand, her hair tickling your nose.
  3663. >"The one I saved for you..."
  3664. "Wuh-wait..."
  3665. >Your tip coming to a stop up against what feels like a random spot of skin as your mother arches her back, you gulp.
  3666. >You can feel your pulse in your ears.
  3667. "A-are we really doing this..? Like... REALLY?"
  3668. >"If you don't believe me, do a sit-up."
  3669. >You blink.
  3670. >"Today, if you don't mind. I can't stay in this position forever."
  3671. "Wh-"
  3672. >"Please?"
  3673. >Gods damn it.
  3674. >Just clear your mind and do it, Anon...
  3675. "Okay, here goes."
  3676. >You groan as you attempt to push yourself up, the weight almost too much.
  3677. >Almost.
  3678. "HNN-"
  3679. >You lift yourself a couple of inches off the bed, your arms acting as pillars of support from behind.
  3680. >"G-go on... up. Hrrnn-UP."
  3681. >Your mother joins the groan party as the pressure mounts on your tip, her feet controlling her descent as she squirms on top of you.
  3682. "A-a-are you-"
  3683. >"UUUUPPP-"
  3684. >Like a statue pulled by a squadron of slaves, you slowly ascend, your mother taking in a big gulp of air.
  3685. >Oh man... it's happening... it's HAPPENING...
  3686. >You hear an exhale, and then, as if completing a puzzle, everything falls into place.
  3687. >Literally.
  3688.  
  3689. >She falls into your lap, a squeal going silent as your erection at last breaks through the unnaturally tight fit.
  3690. "Ghn-"
  3691. >You arch your back instinctively, your hands forming fists as the pressure of the living walls almost overwhelms you.
  3692. >"Arrrngh-"
  3693. "M-m-m-mom..?"
  3694. >You resist the urge to thrust inside, your mother grunting between intervals of heavy breathing.
  3695. >"I... I can still go... urrngh-"
  3696. >She pushes her back against you, every muscle movement of her legs registered as pressure changes by your pulsating member.
  3697. >"FURTHERRRR-"
  3698. >Pushing with more force, you almost blow your load on the spot as she lifts her legs off the bed, gravity pushing all her weight into your lap.
  3699. "HN-"
  3700. >You throw your arms around her midsection just as she loses balance, her feet falling back on the bed.
  3701. >"Hrnnnghnaaah~"
  3702. >She leans back again, this time with enough force to pin your back against the bed, her legs splayed out on both sides as she starts grinding against you.
  3703. >"I can... f-feel it... aah~"
  3704. >You can feel it, too.
  3705. >It would be hard not to, the beating flesh wrapped around your dick like a noose, just slippery enough to move in or out of.
  3706. >It's not as much of a natural fit as the regular thing, but the intensity of the pressure and the extra saliva goes a long way towards making up for the difference.
  3707. "H-how is it..?"
  3708. >"It's... it's..."
  3709. >She takes a deep breath as she shifts her weight to the side, lifting her leg over you as she turns in a half-circle, every degree of the rotation felt acutely by your dick.
  3710. >"Purrrfect~"
  3711. >Her hair a complete mess, she swats it away from her eyes, revealing her face for the first time since insertion.
  3712. >It's a damn miracle her nose isn't bleeding.
  3713. >Isis, if this is your doing, fuck off.
  3714. >"C-"
  3715. >She extends her arms, her face beaming like the Sun itself.
  3716. >"Come to me..."
  3717.  
  3718. >You take the invitation, lifting your back off the bed and into the arms of your mother, tightly gripping her back.
  3719. >"N-next thing... POUND..!"
  3720. >GULP.
  3721. >You lower your grip to her waist as she lands a couple of clumsy kisses on your face, performing an experimental thrust.
  3722. >"Hnn-AAH~"
  3723. >Her chin slumps on your shoulder as you do another, her grip around you tightening.
  3724. >"HAAaaaaAANH~"
  3725. >You pause as she directs a comically exaggerated moan straight into your ear, that entire side of your face almost catching fire.
  3726. "Okay, down you go."
  3727. >You attempt to push her back on the bed, ending with you falling on top of her as she refuses to let go of the hug.
  3728. >"Aaaaaaahhhhh~"
  3729. >Okay, if she's going to mess with you...
  3730. >Pulling your head up, you grab her face with your hands and plunge your tongue into her mouth, cutting of her moaning.
  3731. >Your hands trickle down her sides as you settle into a careful, but deep thrusting rhythm, her body going limp within seconds.
  3732. >"Mmf-"
  3733. >You pull out of her mouth, raising you upper body while pounding away, her moans now sounding more genuine.
  3734. >Turns out finishing once was the right move... you'd be long done, otherwise.
  3735. >"Gnh... hnng... ahhh~"
  3736. >She throws her head back, pulling at the sheets as your hands grip her thighs, immediately jolting when your thumb brushes against her folds.
  3737. "Clench your teeth."
  3738. >"FFFHHNNNN-"
  3739. >Her ventilation goes hyper as your thumb finds her stump, causing a shockwave of spasms to travel up her body.
  3740. >And, in a lapse of concentration, yours as well.
  3741. "Grhnnnrrgghhh-"
  3742. >The room goes silent after your back thuds on the bed, your rational mind returning to calmly assess your actions.
  3743. >You gulp.
  3744. >There's really no nice way to word this to yourself.
  3745. >You are one sick motherfucker.
  3746.  
  3747. >"Ahh..."
  3748. >She rolls on her front after pulling out, clearly avoiding putting pressure on her backside...
  3749. >"Care to take a guess at how long I've wanted to do this..?"
  3750. "Err... will the answer taint any of my childhood memories with you?"
  3751. >"Probably most of them."
  3752. >SON OF A-
  3753. >She crawls over to you, using your chest as a pillow.
  3754. >"Motherhood is unfair to the son, you know... for me to be blessed with such a bringer of joy, and to be unable to repay it with my virginity..."
  3755. "Y-yes... cruel..."
  3756. >"I could never match what you've given me, so I will have to die trying."
  3757. >Touching, in her own, twisted kind of way.
  3758. "I'm going to call it even if you watch your granddaughter from time to-"
  3759. >"Niece."
  3760. >She pokes your nose.
  3761. >"She's my niece. Horizontal relations take precedence over vertical."
  3762. "...whatever."
  3763. >That's an extremely convenient way to parse your family tree, but... whatever.
  3764. "I want her to grow up in a safe environment, and for that, I need your help."
  3765. >She raises an eyebrow.
  3766. "I was thinking military parades around the country every now and then, to remind any potential rebels that you're still here to kick their teeth in."
  3767. >"Great, I'll be able to spread every detail of what happened here tonight faaaaaar and wide~"
  3768. >Your face twithces.
  3769. >Just let it happen, Anon...
  3770. "Norman will officially be in charge, of course, but he's new, and I need someone to prepare him for the job."
  3771. >He can thank you later.
  3772. >"I can do that. Is that all, or..?"
  3773. "No, actually. Get the fuck out of my room."
  3774.  
  3775. >The new supreme general in tow, you step off the chariot, heading for the palace entrance.
  3776. "...and that's why you should never face the Hittites head-on in a cavalry charge. Those savages are born to the saddle."
  3777. >"C-certainly, my queen! Savages!"
  3778. >Holding a bunch of scrolls, that Norman boy trails you as you fix the mess the return journey made of your hair.
  3779. "Now..!"
  3780. >You spin around in front of the entrance, the startled general screeching to a halt.
  3781. "It's assignment time. Pick an army formation from the library and write a detailed report on how you'd go about defeating it with an equal-sized force by Monday."
  3782. >"R-right!"
  3783. "Then I'll go into even more detail explaining why you just doomed us all to a horrific death at the enemy's hands."
  3784. >You pat his unsuspecting head, blood immediately rushing into his face as all his scrolls drop to the ground.
  3785. "But points will be given for creativity."
  3786. >He slaps his forehead in a hasty salute.
  3787. >"A-a-affirmative..! P-praise the Sun!"
  3788. >Holding in a laugh, you casually salute back, turning to walk into the palace.
  3789. >Successfully propagating the rumor that you actually moved the Sun during one of your battles is your second proudest achievements to date.
  3790. >Next to your handsome little pharaoh, of course...
  3791. >You walk towards the dining hall, head full of anticipation of the wonders that await you once you retire to your chambers.
  3792. >He's been in charge with you away for a while now. He should be tired and full of stress by now, just waiting to be released...
  3793. >Unless they pair has restarted their heir-making pursuits, of course.
  3794. >You told her to wait a whole six months to recover, so maybe you sister actually had some sense and waited one-twelfth of that time...
  3795. >Yeah, fat chance. She's probably bulging already, so you'll just have to negotiate something with her.
  3796. >This is ridiculous, honestly. He's your SON... how can he NOT be boning you..?
  3797.  
  3798. >"Come on, eat it!"
  3799. >You round the corner into the dining hall, immediately walking back out of view.
  3800. >"It's tastier than your thumb, I promise!"
  3801. >Snickers sound from the staff as you peak past the corner, seeing a beautiful sight you dare not disturb.
  3802. >Your darling son, sitting at the dinner table, trying to feed his little pink-haired daughter some kind of fruit.
  3803. >You bite your lip.
  3804. >That's one HELL of a moisturizing sight right there...
  3805. >And your dunce of a sister is missing it!
  3806. "Shi-*ahem*"
  3807. >You almost bump into a servant girl after turning around.
  3808. >"W-welcome back, your majesty..."
  3809. >Did that look suspicious?
  3810. >You didn't look like you were spying just now, did you?
  3811. "Thank you."
  3812. >Regain that composure... one is only as suspicious as one acts...
  3813. "You wouldn't happen to know where the queen is hiding, would you?"
  3814. >She points behind her.
  3815. >"The baths, I believe... I just passed her a minute ago..."
  3816. >You nod and sigh, hastily making your way towards the bath house.
  3817. >Something's not right.
  3818. >It's dinnertime. She should be with your son, acting out your ideal scene of the perfect, happy family.
  3819. >But she's NOT.
  3820. >WHY?
  3821. >Stepping into the changing room, you peak past the curtains, catching a glimpse of the back of a certain darkish-blue head peaking out of the water.
  3822. >That's a handsome sulk. Something's bothering her for sure.
  3823. "Big sister, to the rescue..."
  3824. >You undress, throwing all your clothes into a nearby basket.
  3825. >You silently tip-toe towards the edge of the pool, dropping into the water next to your sister.
  3826. "Evening."
  3827. >"WH-"
  3828. >She jumps to the side, almost leaping out of the water.
  3829. >"W-W-WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?"
  3830. "Pff..."
  3831. >Why do you relish so much in making people uncomfortable, you wonder..?
  3832. "From the delta, intimidating potential dissidents with a show of military force... didn't you hear?"
  3833. >"F-fuck off... you never told me you were ba-"
  3834. "I'm back, dear sister. Did you miss me?"
  3835.  
  3836. >Your heart takes a leap, grabbing the brush as you notice the corner of her mouth slightly upturned.
  3837. "Not for much longer..!"
  3838. >You run the brush down the left side, not finding a single tangle.
  3839. >What is this sorcery?
  3840. >This brushing.
  3841. >It's not making the SLIGHTEST bit of difference.
  3842. >"Thanks..."
  3843. >You switch to the right side, finding just as many imperfections.
  3844. >Meaning NONE.
  3845. >"Sorry I was testy earlier. I feel like I just survived the salt mines..."
  3846. "Life of the queen, right?"
  3847. >"I've barely slept... how the shit-burying fuck did you handle all this work alone?"
  3848. "It's all in the wrist."
  3849. >She deadpans.
  3850. "How *exactly* are you being kept awake..?"
  3851. >She goes silent, her posture slumping.
  3852. >"It's... not him."
  3853. >Ditching the brush, you move shoulder to shoulder with her, your hand finding hers underwater.
  3854. "Is everything okay?"
  3855. >"You... how..."
  3856. >She clears her throat.
  3857. >"H-how did your birthing go again? I kinda forgot..."
  3858. "For good reason, it went as smoothly as one could hope. My issues were mostly beforehand."
  3859. >"B-beforehand? What were those?"
  3860. "I was hoping for a girl."
  3861. >"OH, fuck off." She rolls her eyes. "I'm TRYING to be serious here."
  3862. "I'm being as serious as the sleep I lost over this. Which was a LOT."
  3863. >"How does that make any sense what-so-fucking-ever? Making an heir for your son is all you've thought about for YEARS."
  3864. "I know, right?"
  3865. >You pause to admire the dumbfounded look on her face.
  3866. "Our parents were gone, our brother was busy upturning the heavens, and I didn't know the first thing about raising an heir."
  3867. >Her expression softens, rethinking her outburst.
  3868. "What I DID have back then was the most adorable, cheerful, blue-haired little angel that used to cling to me for attention.
  3869. >You lean against her, noticing the growing blush on her face.
  3870. >But nope, sorry. You're not done yet.
  3871.  
  3872. "Breathe, Luna, lest your prophecy fulfills itself."
  3873. >And if she'd kept up her front, it very well could have.
  3874. >"You... but... this is a CRISIS..."
  3875. "The first childbirth is always the hardest. You'll be fine, I know it."
  3876. >"B-but..." She gulps. "How..? You can't know."
  3877. "You know, when I was out campaigning-"
  3878. >"Tia, can we not..?"
  3879. "...an officer of mine's horse sprained it's leg on a desert march."
  3880. >Oh, yes we can.
  3881. "I spent the next three days wondering why he didn't just put the limping thing down and make some extra food for the rest of us. Know what he did when I asked him?"
  3882. >"...what?"
  3883. "He leaned against the horse's side, and PUSHED."
  3884. >"That's... cruel."
  3885. "Well, no. The horse stumbled, but it didn't fall. It stepped and STOOD on the leg it had been shielding, and just like that, it stopped limping."
  3886. >"O-oh... uhh, so..?"
  3887. "Yes, Luna."
  3888. >You grab her shoulders, staring her in the eyes.
  3889. "You are the horse."
  3890. >She immediately quivers, eyeing the water below her.
  3891. >"W-w-wait... I... I'm not... I-I can't..."
  3892. "Don't worry."
  3893. >You pull her in again, this time with your hand on the back of her head, a full embrace. The best one in your arsenal.
  3894. "I'm not here to push you."
  3895. >That seems to break her, her quivers turning into tremors and half-muted sobs.
  3896. "Just a little nudge. Promise."
  3897. >"Y-you don't... you don't get it... it's not just a little... cringe."
  3898. >She sucks through her nose.
  3899. >"Last time I touched it... i-i-it all happened again in my head, e-except I could feel everything... t-then I panicked and-"
  3900. "Okay, calm down."
  3901. >She freezes in place under your arms, even her breath going silent.
  3902. "Remember when you attended your first execution?"
  3903. >"Y-yeah." She stammers.
  3904. "Your face was glued to my skirt the whole time. Five beheadings later, you didn't even flinch. This is the same thing."
  3905. >"I... I dunno... this feels different..."
  3906. "I told you to wait six months, remember? That was a preposterous overestimate, but that time is there."
  3907.  
  3908. >"But... there are still pretenders to the throne out there, right..?"
  3909. "First whiff of betrayal and they'll have their signatures added to a letter insulting the manhood of some Nubian warlord - and WHOOPS, now they're in charge of our southern border defenses with no reinforcements in sight."
  3910. >She gulps.
  3911. "So, how about it, then? Up for trying?"
  3912. >"W-wait, you mean... right now?"
  3913. >You nod.
  3914. >"I..." She hesitates, gnashing her teeth.
  3915. >She was impulsive enough to marry the pharaoh on a whim, she'll be impulsive enough for this.
  3916. >"O-okay."
  3917. >You smile as she pulls away, keeping shoulder-to-shoulder contact.
  3918. >"R-right..." She twiddles her thumbs.
  3919. "You okay?"
  3920. >"I-I'M DOING IT."
  3921. >She reaches down, tension hanging in the air.
  3922. >"J-just a little... s-should be fFFFFF-"
  3923. >A violent tremor runs through her body, her hand snapping back up and splashing water at the ceiling.
  3924. >"F-f-f-fuck..."
  3925. >You lean into her, finding her scrambling back into your hold.
  3926. >"M-my head..."
  3927. "How bad is it?"
  3928. >She perks up, her eyes going wide.
  3929. >"It's... it's..."
  3930. >Not as bad as she expected, eh?
  3931. >"Not *totally* debilitating, I mean..."
  3932. "See, it'll disappear in no time as long as you keep-"
  3933. >The air is knocked out of your lungs, the force of an entire merchant caravan slamming into you.
  3934. >"Y-y-you have... I don't... you..."
  3935. >Her grip loosens, allowing you to see the look on her hyperventilating face.
  3936. >Pure, unbridled relief.
  3937. >"I think... I think I should-"
  3938. "Yes, go."
  3939. >You pat her on the head.
  3940. "Go tend to your family, Luna."
  3941. >She pulls away, the gloomy reality she'd made for herself crumbling to dust.
  3942. "I'll always be here, tending to mine."
  3943. >"R-right..!"
  3944. >Standing up, she spins around and lands a surprise kiss on your cheek, her face positively shining.
  3945. >Your heart falters, a strongly nostalgic feeling washing over you as you sister steps out and into the changing room.
  3946. >This is it.
  3947. >She's all set now, and you couldn't feel more proud.
  3948. >Family really is the best.
  3949.  
  3950. "Cadence. Don your sandals."
  3951. >"Nuh." She pouts, sitting defiantly on the floor.
  3952. >Good gods, what's the deal? What's wrong with some fucking sandals?
  3953. "You're not walking from this spot until I see sandals on those feet, missy."
  3954. >"Nuh." She blows a raspberry at you.
  3955. >Ahh, fuck it.
  3956. "Look, cat."
  3957. >"Wh-EE"
  3958. >You snatch her up with a squeal the MOMENT she looks behind her, swinging her over your shoulders.
  3959. >"D-d-d-d-daddy, HIGH..!"
  3960. >You feel her scrambling to grab hold of you head for safety, pulling at locks of your hair with her tiny hands.
  3961. >Not even that painful. This can work.
  3962. "How about those sandals, then?"
  3963. >"Grrnn..." She grumbles.
  3964. >"Nuh."
  3965. "Have it your way, princess."
  3966. >You walk on despite the extra drag on your head, attracting snickers from maids walking by.
  3967. >She can stay there the entire day for all you care.
  3968. >"Whee!" She pulls HARD on your hair. "Giddy up, giddy up!"
  3969. >Ah, shit.
  3970. >This is that chariot race a couple of weeks ago, isn't it..?
  3971. >"Faster, faster!" She pulls HARD on her makeshift harness, trying to steer you.
  3972. >THE ENTIRE DAY. EASY.
  3973. >You stop at a cross-path.
  3974. "Caddy. Steer right."
  3975. >"Uh-"
  3976. >She hesitates.
  3977. "Your hair flows to the-"
  3978. >"RIGHT!"
  3979. >She tugs her 'harness' the correct direction, giggling manically at her directional ability.
  3980. "PSYCH."
  3981. >You take a sharp turn to the left.
  3982. >"N-no! Wrong!" She protests, pulling right. "Bad horsie!"
  3983. >This horsie does not give a fuck.
  3984. "Shud'a donned those sandals! HAH."
  3985. >Rounding a corner, your cackle flies straight into the face of a golden jewelry collection.
  3986. >Oh, wait.
  3987. >That's your mother. In her shiniest outfit yet.
  3988. >"AUNTIA!" Your daughter blurts immediately, to your mother's confusion.
  3989. >"Err..." She looks over the scene in front of her. "What's this..?"
  3990. "She wouldn't don her sandals, so I-"
  3991. >"Not HER, you doof." She pokes your chest. "YOU. Why are you dressed like a PEASANT?"
  3992.  
  3993. >"You DO know where you're going, right?"
  3994. "Just an arbitration, right? Why would I need-"
  3995. >"JUST AN ARBI-"
  3996. >She glares at you.
  3997. >"It. Was marked. As FORMAL."
  3998. "Ah, well. Too late to worry about that now."
  3999. >You start your walk to the courtroom, your mother trailing you.
  4000. >"No. You are NOT going in there like that. Just get ready while I delay the-"
  4001. "STEER LEFT, CADDY."
  4002. >"LEFT!" She pulls left without hesitation.
  4003. >She's mastered left and right already, the genius. How proud can one man be?
  4004. >"You are NOT taking her either, she's-"
  4005. "Not wearing her sandals, so she's staying right where she is."
  4006. >Yeah, to hell with the idea of spending the next half-hour painting your face and weighing yourself down with half your weight in gold.
  4007. >As far as headgear goes, your daughter's got you covered.
  4008. "Don't worry, mom, this is all a part of-RIGHT!"
  4009. >Your daughter giggles.
  4010. "It's all part of building my image. I'm the-LEFT!"
  4011. >She steers left, the final turn taking you to the entrance to the court room.
  4012. "I'm the people's pharaoh."
  4013. >Is she gnashing her teeth? Honestly, what's the big deal?
  4014. "Guards!"
  4015. >You address the pair on either side of the door, tapping your daughter's knee.
  4016. >"Ahem!" She fakes clearing her throat, throwing up her hands in a fearless display of balance. "OPEN... DOOR!"
  4017. >Heh.
  4018. >Watching her order your men around with her squeaky voice will never get old.
  4019. >You watch the guards pull on the handles, waiting as the massive slabs of rock slowly edge open.
  4020. "Alright, let's get this over wi-"
  4021. >You stop in your tracks right as you step through the door frame.
  4022. >The room is bigger than you remembered.
  4023. >There's about two dozen guards lining the walls, Norman standing in front of your podium.
  4024. >Four scribes, each in their corner of the room, the high priest and sixteen of his eunuchs, and your heavily decorated wife, carrying Tutankhanon the Second in a golden bundle.
  4025. >Every single eye in the room is staring at you.
  4026.  
  4027. "Err..."
  4028. >You whisper to your mother.
  4029. "Are court cases usually this crowded..?"
  4030. >"Why did you think I marked it as formal? For the fun of it?"
  4031. >Guess it's time to commit to the 'people's pharaoh' thing, then...
  4032. >You take your seat at the center of the stall next to Luna, your mother sitting on the other side.
  4033. >Oh, and your daughter is still clinging to your head. What a view she must be getting.
  4034. >"A-Anon..?" Luna whispers, severely confused.
  4035. >Your mother whispers back. "Apparently 'the people's pharaoh' over here thinks it's beneath him to-"
  4036. >"Why does HE get to ditch the formal-wear?"
  4037. >Your mother deadpans.
  4038. "Perks of being pharaoh. Can we get this going?"
  4039. >"I would..." Your mother speaks through her teeth. "But I don't exactly have the authority..."
  4040. >RIGHT, starting this thing was your job.
  4041. >You rise, carrying all the dignity in your posture that's missing from your clothing.
  4042. "AHEM!"
  4043. >And the fact that you daughter is lodged to the back of your head, but details...
  4044. "BRING THE PLAINTIFFS AND THE ACCUSED."
  4045. >Two pairs of guards immediately pull open the even bigger door that's the main entrance to the room.
  4046. >A further dozen guards march through in two lines with two young women bound by the wrists in front, one of the guards putting down an infant on the floor in the dead center of the room.
  4047. "Are we missing anyone? The report said plaintiffs *plural*."
  4048. >"Both are both." Your mother whispers. "They're accusing each other."
  4049. >Oh, okay.
  4050. "Uhh... PLAINTIFF ON THE LEFT. STATE YOUR CASE."
  4051. >"THIS HARLOT STOLE MY SON!"
  4052. "PLAINTIFF ON THE RIGHT..."
  4053. >"SHE LIES. *SHE* STOLE *MY* SON!"
  4054. >Right, the report mentioned this. Pure word against word.
  4055. >No wonder the local magistrate ditched this case. Those drones have no creativity.
  4056. >YOU, on the other hand...
  4057. "Supreme commander. A moment, if you would..."
  4058. >"C-certainly..." Norman approaches, his voice hushed. "What is it?"
  4059. "I know how to solve this. Lend me your sword."
  4060.  
  4061. >"My... my sword..?" He recoils. "What for?"
  4062. "You would question your pharaoh..?"
  4063. >"Not normally, but seeing as you broke the last one..."
  4064. "It was rusty and I got you a new one, what more do you-"
  4065. >"It was AUTOGRAPHED."
  4066. "GOD'S ABOVE, I'll have my mother sign this one until it's black with ink, okay?"
  4067. >He still looks skeptical.
  4068. "Look, asshole. Here."
  4069. >You pick your daughter off your head, handing her to him.
  4070. >"NORMIE!" She calls out in her own hushed voice, arms outstretched.
  4071. "Collateral."
  4072. >"W-what?"
  4073. "She is NOT to be put down, understood? The floor is not worthy of her feet."
  4074. >"Ugh..."
  4075. >He finally relents, handing over the sword as Cadence climbs onto his shoulders.
  4076. "VERY WELL!"
  4077. >You take a quick look around, seeing your mother dual-handedly palming her face.
  4078. >Luna, for her part, looks about ready to die of laughter suppression.
  4079. "BOTH STAND ACCUSED OF INFANT ABDUCTION, EACH BY THE OTHER."
  4080. >You step towards the infant on the floor, brandishing the sword to the worried looks of the defendants.
  4081. "WORD AGAINST WORD. NO EVIDENCE, WITNESSES, ENDORSEMENTS, OR CORROBORATIONS ON EITHER SIDE."
  4082. >Man, the scribes better be getting every word of this...
  4083. "CLEARLY, THIS DISPUTE CANNOT BE SOLVED BY ORDINARY MEANS."
  4084. >You'd be forgiven for calling this an unsolvable case, but oh, how wrong you would be.
  4085. "WHERE NO EARTHLY DIVIDING LINE CAN BE FOUND..."
  4086. >You slam the pointy end of the sword straight into the floor with a loud clang, a mere foot away from the infant's head.
  4087. "...ONE SHALL HAVE TO BE DRAWN."
  4088. >If not for the scribbling of pens, the room would be as dead silent as your father.
  4089. "GUARDS. CUT THEIR RESTRAINTS."
  4090. >The nearest guards cuts through the ropes, freeing their hands.
  4091. "THE TRUE MOTHER MAY REJOICE, FOR I SHALL LEAVE THE FATE OF THIS CHILD ENTIRELY IN YOUR HANDS."
  4092. >Oh, mom's going to LOVE this.
  4093. >But Luna? Ehh...
  4094. "THE GODS AS MY WITNESS, I SHALL NOW ADMINISTER A TEST."
  4095. >She'll come around. This must be done.
  4096. "AN INCEST TEST."
  4097.  
  4098. >This time, even the scribes go silent.
  4099. "YOU SHALL PROVE YOUR LOVE FOR THIS CHILD BY-"
  4100. >"OVER MY DEAD-" One of the women sprints shoulder-first into your chest, knocking you on the floor before shielding the child with her body.
  4101. >"DROWN YOURSELF, YOU EXCREMENT OF HORUS!"
  4102. "O-ow..."
  4103. >You force yourself on your feet, stopping the guards from beating the stars out of the woman with a single hand gesture.
  4104. "F-fuck..."
  4105. >You can barely talk, and what you CAN manage is hoarse as hell.
  4106. >She got you good.
  4107. "I believe... hrnngg...
  4108. >You wheeze.
  4109. "...we've found the mother."
  4110. >You hit your chest, confirming that nothing's broken.
  4111. "Case-hnn... case closed."
  4112. >"Y-your majesty, wait!" The other woman calls out. "I'll... I'll do it! I'll prove myself!"
  4113. >Ugh...
  4114. >You snap you fingers at the scribe closest to you.
  4115. "My judgement is as follows... four months of labor at my pyramid site, braiding rope."
  4116. >And you were going to let her off with just a couple of weeks in the dungeon...
  4117. "Your wages shall be paid to the plaintiff, up front, on her way out."
  4118. >You give a reassuring nod to the shaking mother, who was probably expecting some kind of punishment for her violent outburst.
  4119. "SO CONCLUDES THE SESSION. DISMISSED."
  4120. >You wait for the room to clear out, handing Norman back his sword.
  4121. >Dramatic effect without a sword isn't dramatic at all.
  4122. "G-give me a moment..."
  4123. >Cadence can stay on him for a while. Your chest hurts like hell.
  4124. >"ANON..!"
  4125. >Your mother appears in your face out of nowhere, grasping your wrists.
  4126. >"That was... that was..." She sniffles, her eyes watery. "MASTERFUL. BRILLIANT. I-I-I've never been so PROUD."
  4127. >She brings her mouth to your ear, dropping her voice to a whisper.
  4128. >"I swear, I would jump you harder than that woman just now if we were alone..."
  4129. "T-thanks..! Now, where's my beautiful, kindest, most wonderful-"
  4130. >"Right here, you sick fuck." Luna moves into view, clutching your son defensively.
  4131. >"I'm taking my children and seeking asylum in Babylon."
  4132.  
  4133. >"Aww..." Your mother sneaks behind your wife, throwing her arms over her shoulders from behind.
  4134. >"Who's an adorable little hypocrite?"
  4135. >Your mother baby-talks your wife, wiggling a finger over your son's face.
  4136. >"I recall a certain someone fondling my boy *all over* back in the day, now WHO was that again..?"
  4137. >"YOU TOLD ME TO." Luna blurts out. "And I NEVER took it too far..!"
  4138. >"All I ever told you was that I wouldn't mind you getting *close* to him. You made your own interpretation, you rascal~"
  4139. >Camelshit, mom. You know exactly what you did.
  4140. >"D-dude..." Norman walks to your side as the argument rages on, Cadence sucking her thumb on his shoulder. "Did that really happen..?"
  4141. "Ehh, kind of. I mean, she watched me a lot while mother was out slaughtering rebels. There was a LOT of tickling, and we usually slept together."
  4142. >Nothing too bad, judging from the look on his face.
  4143. >You haven't gotten to the good stuff, anyways.
  4144. "She used to change into all kinds of dresses, have me judge, and wear my picks for the rest of the day."
  4145. >"Huh..." He nods along.
  4146. >Not to mention that she didn't bother much with changing rooms...
  4147. "Oh, and there was that phase where she made me feel up her chest and not let my hand go until I said it was growing."
  4148. >"That's pretty, uhh..."
  4149. "Also, one time she pretended to be sick and convinced me that 'a pharaoh's tongue' was the only cure."
  4150. >"Okay, I guess..."
  4151. "Later that day, when we were under the covers, she kissed my forehead and said she'd go an inch lower every time I gave her a compliment."
  4152. >"D-DUDE..!"
  4153. >"Normie!" Your daughter yells at the most perfect moment imaginable.
  4154. >He sure is, sweetie.
  4155. "That was a sweaty night, let me tell you."
  4156. >You look over, hearing Luna shout something about how she's 'NOT a cradle-robber'...
  4157. "Mother thought this would accelerate my development. All it really did was make me permanently red in the face."
  4158. >"I... I don't even..."
  4159. "I got my payback, don't worry. You're holding the proof."
  4160.  
  4161. ugh, her voice monotonic. "Are the taxes done?"
  4162. "No, but fuck'em, I'm tired. They can wait."
  4163. >The walk out the room is painfully silent.
  4164. >So is the walk through the hallways.
  4165. >And up the stairs.
  4166. >And all the way into your room.
  4167. "OKAY, I get it. My methods were in somewhat bad taste, but-"
  4168. >"SOMEWHAT? Chopping the child in HALF would have been more tasteful."
  4169. "The mother was reunited with her child, plus a small fortune. You can't deny the outcome, can you?"
  4170. >"You got lucky. Had they *both* been degenerates, how would you have chosen between them? By their infant-fellating performance?"
  4171. "Please. Only one of them could be the criminal, so it's perfectly reasonable to assume the other would have at least BASE virtue."
  4172. >She crosses her arms. "Absolutely not."
  4173. >Oh, does she have insight into lusting after children, perhaps..?
  4174. >Fucking hell, you better not go there... this needs to be de-escalated.
  4175. >You walk to your son's cradle.
  4176. >Watching you tend to your children has always been a big weakness of hers, so maybe...
  4177. "Uhh..."
  4178. >You look inside.
  4179. "It's empty."
  4180. >"Wh... what?"
  4181. "Empty. Vacant. Deserted. Unoccu-"
  4182. >"WHAT?"
  4183. >She rushes over, eyes going wide with shock.
  4184. >"I-I-I tucked him FIFTEEN MINUTES AGO, where could he-"
  4185. >She rushes back, bending down to look under the bed.
  4186. >"FUCK."
  4187. >And finding nothing, apparently.
  4188. >"FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK-"
  4189. >You grab her by the shoulders.
  4190. "Don't panic. There's no way he made it out of the cradle himself, so that means only one thing."
  4191. >"W-what..?"
  4192. "Someone took him."
  4193. >"WH-" She tenses up. "And you're telling me NOT to panic?"
  4194. "N-no, I mean..."
  4195. >Fuck.
  4196. "Okay, think. Cadence went to bed first, right?"
  4197. >"Err, uhh... y-yes."
  4198. "Calm down. I know where he is."
  4199.  
  4200. >You press your ear against your daughter's door, hearing the faint sound of an infant's cough.
  4201. "See? I knew it."
  4202. >And gods DAMN are you relieved to have been right.
  4203. >It's not like you weren't pretty much completely sure, but still... if you actually HAD been wrong...
  4204. >"R-really?" She presses her ear against the wood, breathing the heavy sigh of relief you'd been stoically repressing.
  4205. "We taught her the lock sequence to our bedroom, so yeah. Of course."
  4206. >"T-thank Isis, but... why?"
  4207. "I'll handle this."
  4208. >You creak open the door before Luna can respond, revealing just what you had expected.
  4209. >But even more heart-stopping.
  4210. >Your children, their two sleeping heads in your daughter's little bed, sticking out of the covers.
  4211. >Or, well... pretending to be sleeping, at least.
  4212. >It's not THAT dark out, and she's not the type to fall asleep right after laying down...
  4213. "Cadence?"
  4214. >You whisper as non-confrontationally as you can, sitting on the side of the bed.
  4215. >She doesn't budge, keeping up her act.
  4216. >You give her cheek a poke, and her eyes open.
  4217. >"D-d-daddy..?" She smiles sheepishly, knowing she's been busted.
  4218. "Come here."
  4219. >Her smile swiftly replaced by nervous gloom, she slowly sits up against her pillow, hugging her knees.
  4220. >You stay silent, finding your question best left implied.
  4221. >The question being, of course, why she abducted the crown prince...
  4222. >You can't really think of a way to word that
  4223. >"I'm sorry..." She looks up at you, tears forming in her eyes.
  4224. >The sight almost kills you.
  4225. >"I... I just thought..." She sniffles. "...t-the bad lady was going to take him away..."
  4226.  
  4227. >Your heart skips a beat.
  4228. >She JUST learned about the dangers of the world, and her first impulse was to protect her newborn brother from it.
  4229. >You can't have her napping him from his cradle every night, but what are you supposed to do? Scold her?
  4230. >Fuck no.
  4231. "Sweetie, you don't have to worry about that. That is my job."
  4232. >"Really? Not yelling at Normie?"
  4233. "I have lots of jobs. Making sure *he* does *his* job is one of them."
  4234. >"Does everyone have a job?"
  4235. "Of course. Even the cats, they keep bad animals away."
  4236. >"What's my job?"
  4237. >You pause.
  4238. >Fuck. Of course she would ask.
  4239. >What IS her job? Being a sister?
  4240. >What do those even do? You never had any.
  4241. >You think back to your childhood, remembering one person you DID have.
  4242. >Luna. What did she do?
  4243. >Filtering out all the deviance, you recall a surprising amount, all boiling down to a single thing.
  4244. >She was there.
  4245. >Walked into a wall? She picked you up.
  4246. >Scratched by a cat? She tended to your wound.
  4247. >Mom might not return from battle? She talked up her leadership abilities.
  4248. >She could have dumped you on any random caretaker, but there she was. All the time.
  4249. >The answer is obvious, really.
  4250. "When your brother starts growing, he will walk slower than you, speak less clearly, and know fewer things."
  4251. >Her eyes go wide, understanding where you're taking this.
  4252. "Us grown-ups will be busy a lot, but you can be there for him. Think you can handle that?"
  4253. >"YES!" She squeaks, turning her face to the screaming brother she just woke up.
  4254. >"Whoopsie..." Her sheepish smile shows again.
  4255. "Good girl. You'll be his favorite person in the whole, wide world, just you wait."
  4256. >You pat her head, resisting the urge to smother her on the spot as you pick up your son.
  4257. "Sweet dreams."
  4258. >You close the door on your way out, facing your wife.
  4259. >Your blushing, fidgeting, heavily-breathing wife.
  4260. "Something wrong?"
  4261. >"Yes." She reaches a hand out for your son as she closes in on your face.
  4262. >"I want another one."
  4263.  
  4264. /epilogue
  4265. >You lean on the railing of the boat, the rays from the Sun hidden behind the smokestack above you.
  4266. >"Blimey, Celestia! Beauty of a morning, innit?"
  4267. >You look behind you, a top-hat wearing figure with a cane approaching from behind.
  4268. "Indeed it is, mister Carter..."
  4269. >"Always so warm out here, makes you forget all about the constant gloom back in London, aye?"
  4270. >He leans on his cane, looking over the view.
  4271. >"But I s'pose you don't mind that, or you wouldn't be here to survey a tomb, correct?"
  4272. "Of course."
  4273. >You try to smile, forcing some kind of enthusiasm.
  4274. "It wouldn't be a stretch to say this alone makes my archaeology degree worth it..."
  4275. >Or the only reason you ever got it.
  4276. >"PRE-CISELY." He beams. "It truly is a wonder such a MARVELOUS resting place went un-plundered for so long!"
  4277. >Because you made sure everyone who tried saw the sharp end of a sword...
  4278. "Truly. An *amazing* coincidence."
  4279. >"And how lucky *I* was to discover it!"
  4280. >How lucky he is that you can't get away with summary executions anymore...
  4281. >He twirls his mustache, a grin revealing his foul teeth.
  4282. >"If you absolutely cannot wait, I have sketches of my findings in my quarters..."
  4283. >You cringe, Luna stepping into view on the deck.
  4284. "I'd be... DELIGHTED. But alas, I have business to attend to."
  4285. >You immediately step towards your sister, not even looking for a reaction.
  4286. "Luna, do you have a map on you?"
  4287. >"Uhh... yes..?"
  4288. "Take it out. I need to look busy."
  4289. >She takes out and displays the map in front of you, immediately grasping the situation from one look at the expedition leader behind you.
  4290. >"Don't worry, we're docking soon. This boat travels fast. How'd you say this 'steam engine' thing works, again?"
  4291. "Err, yeah..."
  4292. >You shake your head, recalling what you read in the Encyclopedia Britannica.
  4293. "Heating water inside a container creates pressure, which you can use to-"
  4294. >"Ah, magic. Thanks for reminding me."
  4295.  
  4296. >Your sister tugs at the harness, your arms wrapped around her waist as you ride the camel across the sand dunes.
  4297. >"Sure is a shame Cadence didn't tag along... she didn't happen to tell you why, did she?"
  4298. "No... but I don't blame her. They were *very* close, and this is hardly an appropriate visit..."
  4299. >"Yeah, I guess she must be in her rebellious phase."
  4300. "Oh, sure."
  4301. >You scoff.
  4302. "You've been saying that one since the Sphinx lost its nose..."
  4303. >"Check it out, it's great-grandpa's pyramid!"
  4304. >She points ahead, the top of the pyramid peaking over a dune to your side.
  4305. >A pang hits your chest, the top of another pyramid coming into view behind it.
  4306. >"And there's our brother's... should we visit him, too?"
  4307. "No point, they haven't found his tomb yet. It *was* pretty well hidden..."
  4308. >"Ahh, nostalgia..." She looks behind her, the great river still visible in the distance. "How long's it been since we last saw the Nile, again?"
  4309. "Since the Romans took over. You remember how Julius didn't buy our 'immortal-goddesses-sent-to-guide-the-mortal-pharaohs' shtick, right?"
  4310. >"Yeah, such an utter cunt. That was... five centuries ago? Six?"
  4311. >Oof.
  4312. "Running on TWENTY. Don't I keep telling you to keep up with the calendar?"
  4313. >"Why SHOULD I when they keep changing it?" She huffs. "What the hell kind of a stupid idea is a 'leap year', anyways?"
  4314. "Luna, please..."
  4315. >You tighten your grip around her waist.
  4316. "For us to lose track of time is... dangerous. You know what could happen."
  4317. >"Please, I won't lose my marbles just because I let a measly millennium slip..."
  4318. "No matter what era, I'll always have to worry about you, won't I?"
  4319. >"Only until I start wrinkling. HAH."
  4320. >Ah, funny.
  4321. "Look, straight ahead."
  4322. >Topping a dune, a cluster of tents become visible.
  4323. >All it is is an entrance to an underground complex, really. Modest for a pharaoh.
  4324.  
  4325. >Dismounting the camel, you show your archaeology badge to a local hired to guard the site.
  4326. >"Careful." The Arab grins, his accent heavy. "If you enter, the curse of a vengeful pharaoh may befall you..."
  4327. "Move aside."
  4328. >You walk past without a second thought, heading down a long corridor lit only by torches hanging off the walls, your sister following closely.
  4329. "Superstitious idiot. My Anon wasn't vengeful..."
  4330. >"Well, if there is a curse, I wouldn't be surprised if he'd hit me with it. I was a pretty fucked up sitter."
  4331. "Pfft, you were a bit handsy, so what? What *I* subjected him to, on the other hand..."
  4332. >"You mean like when you tried to immunize him to every harmful substance in existence?"
  4333. >Gulp.
  4334. >"Well, you enabled him to get high off scorpion stings with his peasant friends, so I think you're fine."
  4335. >You chuckle.
  4336. "I'm surprised you remember that. He actually built a pen and cultivated those things..."
  4337. >"Don't be." Her voice turns serious. "I remember our time together vividly. It's everything *after* that's a blur."
  4338. >Already deep underground, you stop in your tracks after rounding a corner, a small and slightly better lit room appearing before you.
  4339. >In the center, the object of your visit.
  4340. >A large, stone casket.
  4341. >And the front's been cracked open.
  4342. >Luna stops beside you, a deep gloom growing in your chest.
  4343. >"It's... him."
  4344. >The gloomy feeling migrating to your head and into your eyes, your sister's hand finds yours.
  4345. >Or yours found hers. You can't really tell which happened first.
  4346. >Luna steps forward, the soles of her shoes echoing off the floor.
  4347. >The pressure mounting, you reluctantly follow, finding yourself slowly angling your head to look inside, staring right into the face of-
  4348. >His golden headpiece.
  4349. >You grasp at your chest.
  4350. "It... it is."
  4351. >Exactly as you left him, all those years ago.
  4352. >Still wrapped up in the gold he so hated wearing.
  4353.  
  4354. "Please forgive all these disturbances lately, my little pharaoh..."
  4355. >You stroke the headmask's metal cheek, wiping away the tear you just shed on it.
  4356. "I can't stop any of it... I'm sorry."
  4357. >Luna sucks through her nose, the sound coming from behind you.
  4358. >Looking over your shoulder, you see her staring at some carvings on the wall.
  4359. "Luna?"
  4360. >You approach, hearing a gulp as your sister wipes her eyes, a chill running through you as you see the imagery etched in the stone.
  4361. >Luna and her husband sitting on a throne, her holding a bunch of grapes above their heads as their children play in front of them.
  4362. >"It's... I..."
  4363. >She clutches her head while wiping her eyes, her muted whimpers piercing your heart.
  4364. >You wrap your arms around her, in dire need of a hug yourself.
  4365. >Which she delivers.
  4366. "They had good lives, Luna. Always remember that."
  4367. >"I-I know, but... I miss them..."
  4368. >You tighten your grip, her face buried in your shoulder.
  4369. "Focus on what you have. I know if I didn't share this ordeal with you and Cadence, I would... I'd..."
  4370. >No, stop.
  4371. >This train of thought leads nowhere good.
  4372. >Sliding down the wall, you sit beside each other on the hard floor, seeking comfort in each other's warmth as the increasingly brutal waves of nostalgia wash over you.
  4373. >"What the hell is wrong with us?" She sniffles. "This is an ancient ruin, and we're still here."
  4374. >You have no answer.
  4375. >"We're not actually goddesses, are we?" She holds her hand in front of her face, as if observing a foreign object. "I still bleed red, don't I?"
  4376. "We're not, and you do. Don't test it."
  4377. >"I mean... this doesn't make any sense. We had a family, so why just us?"
  4378. "It doesn't make sense, you're right. It probably never will."
  4379. >You lean against her.
  4380. "For all we know, we were hit by magic from another world..."
  4381.  
  4382. >You mount the camel to ride back to the harbor, this time with your sister behind you.
  4383. >"I have to admit... going in there felt wrong."
  4384. "As it should, that tomb was never supposed to open... I just felt that I had to go, since they're about to take him to a museum."
  4385. >The camel grumbles, saving you from awkward silence.
  4386. >"So what do we do now? Pick up Cadence and go back to London?"
  4387. >You pause.
  4388. >Making this visit was the only reason you started your archaeology career, and you ARE starting to get told you look good for your age a lot...
  4389. "I suppose people might get suspicious soon. What do you want to do?"
  4390. >"How about... staying? This is home, after all..."
  4391. "No. This is NOT home."
  4392. >You pull on the harness, the camel increasing it's pace.
  4393. "The people here are as foreign to us as anyone else on the planet. There's no such thing as home anymore."
  4394. >She sighs, her front resting on your back.
  4395. >"I guess... how about Florence? My Florentine is still okay, and I believe Machiavelli owes you some royalties."
  4396. >You laugh dejectedly.
  4397. "It's called 'Italian' now, and he's been dead for centuries."
  4398. >Gods help this fossilized head of hers.
  4399. "I'm buying you a calendar the moment we get back."
  4400. >"Hmpf, fine. You better have a suggestion of your own if you're going to be like that."
  4401. "I do, actually. I was thinking we'd move to the colonies. Do something more relaxing, like teaching children."
  4402. >The pyramids sink below the desert dunes behind you, disappearing from your sight for perhaps the last time.
  4403. >"Huh... that doesn't sound too bad, actually."
  4404.  
  4405. ----------------------------
  4406. fin

Anonymous (Twin Sister Applebloom)

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