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[RGR?] Nervous Ponk

By MrSkeltal
Created: 2021-07-16 21:31:33
Updated: 2021-01-07 23:37:57
Expiry: Never
anonpinkie pieslice of lifesafe/rgre/oneshot

  1. Original Poster: Frostybox (http://pastebin.com/u/frostybox)
  2. Reason this is posted here is because it's not binned in Frosty's bin.
  3.  
  4. *BRIIING*
  5. >You roll up in your covers at the first sound of your alarm.
  6. >Just before the next one goes off you quickly roll out of them.
  7. >The bedsheets becomes a Pinkie launching noisemaker, accompanied with the *BRIING* of your alarm.
  8. “Yipee!”
  9. >Your head spears the wall opposite your closet perfectly. you can hear the tension in your mane build as your scalp gets closer and closer to the wall until…
  10. *SPROING*
  11. >You go flying backwards, strong arming your alarm in the process and sending it flying back to the pile of clocks near the closet.
  12. >The world goes dark as you are flung into the depths of your closet.
  13. >A telltale *crack* confirms that your cotton candy clock has been successfully turned off.
  14. >You shuffle around in there for a moment, arming yourself to the teats with everything you think you’re going to need and them some.
  15. >You step out into your room.
  16. “Alright Gummy, don’t forget to bring your drums we’re going to-“
  17. *briing*
  18. >You look down, your most recent clock is still tick-tockin’ away.
  19. *chk*
  20. >Barely.
  21. *Briing* *chk-chk*
  22. >Hey now…
  23. *Briing* *chk* *briing* *chk-chk*
  24. >You start nodding along to the unintentional beat your clock is making.
  25. “Yeah! YEAH!”
  26.  
  27. >You are Mr. cake.
  28. >Currently taking a short break from baking like a madmare to check on your foals.
  29. >Princess Twilight is bringing some unique visitor in after getting clearance from the Royal sisters, all of Ponyville is a buzz about it.
  30. >Who it is, Where they’re from, etc etc.
  31. >”OooOooOooh Oh Oh Oh~"
  32. >Pinkie Pie is singing in her room across the hall, she’s probably been the most excited out of anypony, “A surprise friend in the making? What could be better!?”
  33. >Unlike Pinkie though, all this commotion is wearing you out, thankfully Cupcake is always there to pick up back when you need her.
  34. >But for now you need to make sure that you aren’t needed right now.
  35. >An ear to the door lets you hear cooing and mumbles from inside the foals’ room.
  36. >Peeking in, you see them resting happily as they should be.
  37. >The last thing you need is them wak-
  38. >”Springing out of my bed~”
  39. >Oh no.
  40. >”I’m still all lightish red~”
  41. >Nonono! You begin to shut the door to the foal’s room before realizing what that would do and proceed to halt it’s momentum just before the door connects and slowly draw it shut.
  42. >”My name is Pinkie Pie~”
  43. >You whip around to glare at the pink mare bopping along to some kind of ringing coming from her tail.
  44. >”Don’t you forget it~”
  45. “Pinkie, I know you’re happy to greet this visitor bu-“
  46. >She digs into her mane and pulls out a big plastic-
  47. >NO!
  48. >"I bought a megaphone~”
  49. >You dive for her but she slides just to the side of you in time, curse her colt-like choreography!
  50. >"To test inside our home~”
  51. >She takes a deep breath, while you are still scrambling to get to your hooves in time.
  52. >”Test” Pinkie calmly states into the megaphone only to have it do nothing.
  53. >She slides open a part of the handle and peers inside before shrugging and tossing it over her shoulder.
  54. >You dive and manage to catch it before it collides with the foals’ door.
  55. >"Forgot the batteries~”
  56. >You lay your face down to the floor breathing a sigh of relief.
  57. >”So silly of me~”
  58. >With a flick of your ear you hear Pinkie’s voice sounding both loud and muffled at the same time.
  59. >”I’m Shou-ting ou-out of these windows~”
  60. >”Go-od and lou-oud~”
  61. >You throw open the door to the foals’ rooms to find your babies clinging to Pinkie’s shoulders.
  62. >AS SHE LEANS OUT OF THE WINDOW!
  63. >"Cause I’ll welco-ome our new friend~”
  64. >”And come on Ponyville, let’s not be bums!” she commands to the gathering crowd below.
  65. “PINKIE!”
  66. >You sprint across the room as she leans all the way out and shouts, your foals joining in with loud babbles of their own.
  67. >"Let's go! Let's go! Let's go! Let's go~!” she cheers, getting joined in by the crowd.
  68. >Your precious foals slide down Pinkie’s back as she continues tipping forward, Pinkie raises her legs up as she goes over the ledge, making a ramp for your foals to launch themselves over your head and land safely into their beds happy as can be.
  69. >You breathe the biggest sight of relief imaginable.
  70. >You should know better than to think she would harm anypony, Pinkie’s better with foals than your wife is oddly enough, but a father certainly can’t help himself.
  71. “Pinkie!” you shout to the mare being bounced along the crowd that’s traveling towards the castle.
  72. >She turns around and waves back at you, “Mr. Cake! You’re looking totally extra hot today! I bet our new visitor is gonna love it!” she shouts back.
  73. “I- uh, wh- whaa?”
  74. >Extra hot?
  75. >You’ve been baking since you got up, haven’t even…
  76. >Oh, that Pinkie Pie. Such a young charmer!
  77. >No wait! You’re supposed to be scolding her for being-
  78. >Ah, she’s way too far now.
  79. >You turn back to see your foals bouncing happily in their cribs mumbling something close to “let’s go” like you hear the crowd is chanting outside.
  80. >Well, no harm was done…
  81.  
  82. >All these smiling faces chanting along to the song started by a clock that took a bong not too long ago when you were wrong about how strong your arm could-
  83. >You shake your head violently, trying to put a stop to your sick internal rhymes.
  84. >Ha! Internal! Because it’s like in your head and also in the-
  85. >”My leg!”
  86. >Whoops too much shaking, but at least you found that anchor you were looking for.
  87. >You’ll have to make it up to Roseluck later.
  88. >Uh oh, what if you shook too hard ran out of rhymes to use out loud, could be a problem if you’re the one leading this crow-
  89. >Ah! Almost wasted one, but you were too smart for you.
  90. >And that’s because you...
  91. >ARE PINKIE PIE!
  92. >And nopony is too smart for themselves, that would just be silly!
  93. >Your tail is ring-tockin’ away and the crowd is approaching proper welcome party size.
  94. >But you’re all approaching the castle too quickly!
  95. >If your partynometry is accurate then they’re going to need one more verse, one chorus, and maybe a sweet outro, its not as precise as it could be but you’re eyeballing it so it’s forgivable.
  96. >Okay, time to mix in some black text!
  97. "I'm standing on the top~”
  98. "Of this cheerful lot~”
  99. ”Giving it all I have~”
  100. “Show me what you've got~”
  101. >The crowd below you roars with all kinds of joy.
  102. >At least thirty-two different kinds, which means some of them are slacking.
  103. >This next part outta amp them up.
  104. "There's some things I found~”
  105. >You dig through your mane, pulling out almost all the instruments you keep stored in there.
  106. "That make so much sound~”
  107. >You pass them out to the crowd you’re surfing on, letting them reach their respective players.
  108. "All these words~"
  109. "I don't need 'em now~”
  110. >The musicians make over, playing to the beat of your conductor clock, they match the welcoming energy of the crowd drawing in more and more ponies.
  111. >You spin around, watching windows and doors fly open all over town.
  112. >It was close, but the crowd should be just the right size before reaching the castle…
  113. >Buuut, you’d already planned out doing the chorus so...
  114. “Shou-ut it ou-out, of your windows~”
  115. “Go-ood and lou-oud~”
  116. “We wa-ant to wel-come our new friend~”
  117. “And come on Ponyville let’s not be bums!”
  118. >You hold a hoof to your ear expectantly.
  119. >"Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go!”
  120. >Confetti fills the air as you rocket into the sky, propelled by their excitement and possibly that twenty seventh cupcake you had this morning.
  121.  
  122. >”So, are you ready Anonymous?”
  123. >The door opens revealing the tall human you’ve gotten to know over the last few months.
  124. >”Yeah, I uh, guess so...”
  125. >He’s unsure, you kind of expected this.
  126. “Anon, if you think this might be too much for you-“
  127. >A hand waves slowly in front of you, “Nono, nothing like that. It’s fine just… Heh, it’s still kind of strange being such a big deal all of a sudden y’know?”
  128. >You DO know, for the longest time you were just a student of the princess, a tremendous accomplishment sure, but most of your time was spent in the company of books, not others.
  129. >And now you have a castle and all the attention that would reasonably come with suddenly having a castle.
  130. >No Twi, this isn’t the time to dwell on yourself, you and the other princesses have put in a lot of work to bring Anonymous to the point of integration while you continue pursuing a method to bring him home, today is all about him.
  131. “I want to say that you get used to it, but I’m not even there yet… b-but my friends and this town have done a lot to make me feel comfortable an-“
  132. >You hear what sounds kind of like music.
  133. >And chanting?
  134. >Anonymous’ eyes are focused entirely on you, so maybe he doesn’t hear it yet.
  135. “-And I just know that they’ll uh… c-can you excuse me for a second?”
  136. >He nods and you fly over one of your myriad windows.
  137. >You begin to perk your ears to find the source but find that you don’t need to as you see the mass that is almost all of Ponyville heading your way.
  138. “What in Equestria is-“ you mumble to yourself before finding the most likely source.
  139. >”Alright Gummy, DRUM SOLO!”
  140. >The crowd quickly forms a giant ring, causing Pinkie, and you assume from the drum set perched on her back, Gummy to drop down into the now empty space.
  141. >What follows is the most intense bout of drumming you’ve ever heard.
  142. >The crowd is going ballistic, “Go Gummy Go Gummy!” is being cheered to the rapid-fire beat.
  143. >When it comes to an end, Pinkie follows it up with a booming, “NAILED IT!”
  144. >The crowd carries her enthusiasm as they resume their chant, "Let's go, let's go, let's go, let's go!”
  145. >”Wow, is it like this all the time, or just because of me?”
  146. >You almost jump out of your fur from Anon’s sudden appearance.
  147. “Anon?!”
  148. >”Oh sorry, did I startle you?”
  149. “N-no! I was just uh, stretching my wings is all...”
  150. >You proceed to continue that lie and actually stretch while Anon watches the crowd gathering closer outside.
  151. >"Say what you wanna say, make it mean everything~"
  152. >"Oh say what you wanna say, make it mean everything~”
  153. >”Wow, that pink one is all over the place.”
  154. >You chuckle nervously as you join Anon in watching the crowd draw right up to the doors.
  155. “Ah, yeah, she’s just… excited. When she’s calmer you won’t find a better friend to make you smile.”
  156. >Wow, could you sound like any more of a fooler?
  157. >Anon doesn’t notice or doesn’t mention it as he speaks, ”So I asked before but, is all this uh, normal? Or is it because of me?”
  158. “This… well it’s not unheard of for Ponyville. This town can be a little…”
  159. >”QUIT STALLING TWILIGHT LET’S MEET OUR NEW FRIEND!”
  160. >You wince as Pinkie’s voice rings out in the open.
  161. >She must’ve found those batteries you hid somehow, seems like you’ll need to put them in a pocket dimension inside another pocket dimension next time.
  162. >Anon chuckles, “Guess we shouldn’t keep them waiting huh?”
  163. >You step back a little in surprise.
  164. >The confidence in his voice, for a moment there it reminded you of your brother.
  165. >”Are you ready?”
  166. >You nod slowly, and shake away the hesitation in your head when he glances away.
  167. “Alright, let’s go introduce you to all of Ponyville I guess.”
  168. >Anon walks beside you as you both travel to the castle doors.
  169. >You can hear the crowd, heck you can feel the crowd, their energy is at a peak because of Pinkie.
  170. >Is there anything she can’t do?
  171. >No matter who or how many, she’s able to bring out smiles in anypony.
  172. >Admittedly you’re a little jealous, if you had her confidence when talking to gu-
  173. >No Twilight, again, you’re here for Anonymous.
  174. >You take a deep breath and exhale it slowly, extending a hoof out from your chest as you do.
  175. “Ready?”
  176. >Anonymous nods once, you face the crystal doors again and with a touch of magic push them open.
  177. >The ponies gathered right at the front gasp and fall into a stunned silence.
  178. >Some of the ponies just behind take note of the shock and chant with a little less enthusiasm.
  179. >"Say what you wanna say, make it mean everything~”
  180. >Pinkie is being shuttled right to the front of the crowd, she’ll be able to smooth this all over with a hug or an explosion or something.
  181. >"Oh say what you wanna… s-say…”
  182. >Your friend is dropped onto the steps just below you and Anon, her eyes go wide just like the others and her singing devolves into little more than mumbles.
  183. >You keep a very forced smile on your face as you watch the scene unfolding before you.
  184. >Anon is looking down at the crowd and Pinkie, while Pinkie is paralyzed at the head of the crowd getting ever quieter as more ponies fall away leaving some kind of ringing ticking sound to make up the majority of the noise.
  185. >The tension is so think in the air you could cut it with a knife.
  186. >You clear your throat hoping that it might kickstart Pinkie.
  187. >This is something you’ve never seen before, she’s always eager to greet somepony new, even if they’re not a pony at all, but this…
  188. >Seeing her look like Celestia in front of a dessert table is starting to make you worry.
  189.  
  190. >You are being bounced and bopped all the way to the front of the crowd to meet your soon to be friend.
  191. >You can’t be anymore thrilled!
  192. >And you know exactly what you’re going to say.
  193. >Which would be why you’ve got the perfect outdo going.
  194. “Say what you want to say, make it mean everything~”
  195. “Oh say what you wanna-“
  196. >You reach the front of the crowd, as you fall down to the steps of the castle you look ahead to see Twilight and… him. Somehow, somewhere inside you, you know its a guy.
  197. >The way he stands, those clothes he wears, that small smile on his handsome face.
  198. >The world comes to a screeching halt.
  199. >Everything stops midmotion, your heart in mid beat, lungs hold your breath right where it is, the crowd behind you may as well be made of stone.
  200. >You’ve never felt anything like this before.
  201. >How do you react to this?!
  202. >You can’t even think of how to get down to the steps.
  203. >Everything in your head is filled with the Elysiumy sight before you.
  204. >And then in a flash everything seems to be running on fast-forward.
  205. >Your rump stings as you plop onto the steps, the crowd behind you quickly drops to murmurs rather than cheers.
  206. >And this tall being is shuffling over to you!
  207. >He seems to be getting taller as he nears!
  208. >What is going on?!
  209.  
  210. >Be Anon.
  211. >You just watched the pouncy pink pony eat it on the castle steps.
  212. >Twilight is just standing there next to you, glancing between Pinkie and the crowd.
  213. >You understand now that you’re like “the girl” in this place, so it makes sense that “guys” hurting themselves isn’t considered a big deal but, you’re still a man and you can’t just let her sit there mumbling.
  214. >You walk down the steps towards the pink pony, “A-Anon…” Twilight calls from behind you, but doesn’t seem to continue.
  215. >As you near her, she seems to be... melting?
  216. >Yup, like the her coat was made of the candy it’s a color match for, she seems to be melting as you draw nearer.
  217. >The more puddle like she becomes the more things flow out of the pink pile.
  218. >Kazoos, balls, noisemakers, rubber chickens, rubber lizar- nope! That one’s real.
  219. >You manage to avoid stepping on “her” as best you can until you’re standing right next to the face part of the pile.
  220. *briing* *chk*
  221. >You look around through to blob of pink until you spy a small bundle of darker pink vibrating along to the sound you’re hearing.
  222. >You pick up what appears to be some kind of really worn clock.
  223. *Briing* *chk-chk*
  224. >With a light push, you silence the alarm causing it to crumble into little whips of what seem to be cotton candy.
  225. >The pink pool below you has its bright blue eyes locked on your hands which then travel to meet your eyes when you look back at “her”.
  226. >You scan around the puddle of pink and party supplies for a moment before you find something you think could be useful.
  227. >Kneeling down, you pull out a extremely complex bendy straw, even has a little roller coaster that runs along the loops of the straw.
  228. >On closer inspection you can hear very distant sounding screams and cheers as the coaster travels along.
  229. >This place sure is radically different from Earth, but not completely foreign to you.
  230. >You bend down and poke the straw near the face part of the pink puddle and take a deep inhale.
  231. >This is after all cartoon logic 101.
  232. >Your lips close around your end of the straw and you blow into the puddle as hard as you can.
  233. >The puddle rises little by little off the ground, you can hear the air you’re blowing circulating around inside the former pony.
  234. >One more deep breath goes in and five popping sounds signal the presence of four legs and a tail.
  235. >You take a smaller breath this time and blow.
  236. >One more pop brings the pony’s mane back to it’s ridiculously curly form and now you’re staring eye to eye with the pony you’re currently linked to via straw.
  237. >You offer her the friendliest smile you can muster and slowly draw yourself back from the straw.
  238. “Uh hi. My name’s Anonymous, it’s nice to meet you miss…?"
  239. >”Y-you too” she mutters.
  240. “I’m sorry? Are you okay?”
  241. >”Ahaha, Pinkie’s fine Anon!” Twilight responds, slipping in between you and Pinkie, you believe Twilight said.
  242. >”-together sis… wrong with you?” Twilight mutters, you only pick up a little before being nudged back up the stairs with purple magic.
  243. >A flash of Purple has Twilight standing next to you again and Pinkie nowhere to be found.
  244. >The princess clears her throat for a moment before addressing the crowd, "Colts and gentlemares, I apologize for the little hiccup just then, I think our good friend Pinkie was running on cupcake crumbs and with the help of our new friend Anonymous she’ll be back to her perky self with just a little bit of rest.”
  245. >Several chuckles spread throughout the crowd and things seem a little less awkward.
  246. >”Oh and uh, speaking of… Please allow me to introduce to you all officially… Anonymous the human!” Twilight announces.
  247. >The crowd stomps their forehooves in applause and cheers erupt through the crowd.
  248.  
  249. >”Are you going to be okay in here?”
  250. >You look up from the sweet ant farm in your grasp to Twilight standing by the door
  251. “Yeah, this room is perfect. Kind of like mine was back before I moved out of my parent’s house.”
  252. >Twilight takes a cautious step closer to you.
  253. >You get it, the first month or so of your arrival here was a horrible ordeal for you and the princesses if you're putting it lightly.
  254. >You’ve put most of that past you since there’s nothing you can do except for hope that Twilight can figure something out now that you’re with her in Ponyville.
  255. “But uh yeah, I think this is a good fit for me.”
  256. >”Okay Anon, I’ll be right down the hall if you need anything at all.”
  257. “Okay Twilight. Oh wait!”
  258. >Twi spins around on her foreleg, causing her tail to trail along as she turns.
  259. >When she comes to a stop a look of realization spread across her face and she brings her tail straight down against her rear, “Y-yes?”
  260. “What happened to Pinkie Pie? That’s her name right? Your friends all mentioned her at the welcoming party downstairs but I didn’t see her after you teleported her away.”
  261. >”She’s fine, just ran herself ragged planning everything for your visit is all.”
  262. >You nod.
  263. “Do you think I could visit her tomorrow? Send her my thanks for the party and all?”
  264. >Twilight rolls her eyes, “Knowing Pinkie, I’m sure she’ll visit you before you get the chance to thank her.”
  265. >You give her a questioning look but Twilight doesn’t expand on her statement, choosing instead to wish you a good night and leave for her room.
  266. >You shrug, it hasn’t even been one day in Ponyville, you’ll probably get the hang of things in time.
  267. >For now though, there’s an longbox full of comics that are calling your name

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