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Anon rolls a new one

By CoolNon
Created: 2025-01-15 22:42:38
Expiry: Never

  1. (Just a hodge podge of ideas from various suicide Anon greentexts)
  2.  
  3. >Be Twilight Sparkle
  4. >Regular o'l Librarian of the Golden Oaks Library
  5. >And now the first pony to make contact with an otherworldly creature!
  6. >"Hello! My name is-"
  7. "Get away from me!"
  8. >The words of the alien colt stunned you a bit
  9. >The lanky creature suddenly backed away before tripping at a stack of books
  10. >"Woah easy there. I'm not going to hurt you."
  11. >You gently remove the books on top of him
  12. "Yeah right..."
  13. >His whispered words hurt you a bit
  14. >And judging by his demeanor, he seemed to be fear you
  15. >You were confused, what happened to this colt
  16. >And who hurt him?
  17. "What happened to your crown? Did you lose it?
  18. >That snapped you out of your thoughts and notice the ape-like colt stared at your head and body, as if you were missing something
  19. >"Crown? That's silly! Only rulers get to wear crowns, like my teacher Celestia!"
  20. >Now he seemed genuinely confused as you are
  21. >"L-Look let's start over. Hi, my name is Twilight Sparkle. What's your name?"
  22. >He looked down a bit, as if mulling it over before responding
  23. "Anon. Just Anon."
  24.  
  25. >"Woooaaah!"
  26. >Spike was practically jumping at the spot at seeing this strange creature, called a human, in front of him
  27. >Said human was squirming from his chair and was eager to run away
  28. >"Spike! Stop scaring him!"
  29. >The small dragon flinched before stepping back at behest of Twilight's scolding
  30. >"Sorry."
  31. "I-It's alright."
  32. >Anon relaxed a bit as Twilight brought a tray of drinks and snacks
  33. >"Here Anon. I brought us some food. Hayburgers and Cola. My favorite!"
  34. >"Aren't you supposed to lay off on that stuff Twilight?"
  35. >The purple unicorn shot her assistant with a glare, making him take a seat at the table quickly
  36. >The human eyed the food before looking down
  37. "No thanks... I don't exactly eat hay."
  38. >Twilight and Spike were surprised at this and the latter asked
  39. >"Fh sho wht do you ert?" Spike says as he drank from the straw of the cola drink.
  40. >Anon looked down, as if downtrodden at the question.
  41. >Twilight panicked at the thought of making the alien colt sad
  42. >"T-That's ok. You don't need to eat. I understand. Dieting and all that."
  43. >Twilight nearly smacked herself with her hoof for mentioning his weight
  44. >Anon just nodded his head before taking his cup of soda to drink
  45. >Who knew dealing with a new species is hard?
  46. >Twilight needed some time to think
  47. >"Hey Anon? Is it alright if I leave you here in the library? You can read some books- wait can you read?"
  48. "I can"
  49. >The human stated it as a matter of fact
  50. >"Perfect! Spike come with me, I need to write a letter to Celestia."
  51. >The mare and the dragon got off from their seats, leaving Anon alone
  52. >For now
  53. >"Heeeyyy Twiliiiight!"
  54. >A line of rainbow breaks into the nearby window, scattering some of the pages of books and utensils
  55. >The blue blur finally stops in the air, revealing herself to be Rainbow Dash
  56. >"Oh yeah! Points for style. Nobody can stop the- Woah!"
  57. >The pegasus stops to look at some sort of lankey ape staring up at her.
  58. >"What the heck are you? Twilight's new doodad or something?"
  59. >She reached out with her hoof, which was a bad idea
  60. >As this caused Anon to scream bloody murder.
  61.  
  62. >Twilight busted down the door as soon as she heard the scream and saw Rainbow Dash panicking and Anon screaming.
  63. >"Rainbow Dash what did you do?!"
  64. >"I didn't do anything! The thing just started screaming!"
  65. >The pegasus was pointing at the alien who was was scrambling and backing against a corner.
  66. >Twilight sighed
  67. >"Dash that 'thing' has a name and it's Anon. Spike, can you help calm him down?"
  68. >The Element of Magic hoped that the alien colt needed a male's touch for this precarious situation
  69. >"Woah that things a colt? Does he have a- Hey! Let go of me Twilight! What are you-?
  70. >The unicorn dragged the pegasus away as Spike rubbed his claw on Anon's back
  71. >"Hey it's ok. It's ok."
  72.  
  73. >After some time, Twilight explained the current situation with Rainbow Dash
  74. >"So... he's scared of us?"
  75. >"I think so Dash"
  76. >The Element of Loyalty crossed her forelegs
  77. >"I mean that's kind of stupid, he's mean, tall, and probably could hold us down. Wait- that actually kinda hot-"
  78. >"Dash. Focus. First off, he's not mean. He's tall sure, enough to set some fantasies of mine, but he's not dangerous."
  79. >Twilight cleared her throat
  80. >"Dash, can you at least explain what happened and why Anon screamed."
  81. >Rainbow Dash huffed, blowing her hair a bit
  82. >"I mean, I kinda just busted down your window to borrow some Daring Doo books-"
  83. >"Unnecessary but continue"
  84. >"-Then me and Anon looked each other in the eye. I was about to touch him out of curiosity and he started screaming, started to run away like a cornered animal."
  85. >Twilight rubbed her temples.
  86. >"That is what I was afraid of. Something happened to this colt that traumatized him I that he freaks out whenever someone gets close. Me, Spike and You for example."
  87. >"Maybe he hates being touched by you?"
  88. >The purple mare shot her a look
  89. >"Sorry."
  90. >Twilight sighed and continued to her write her letter to Celestia
  91. >"Well in the meantime, I can trust Spike to keep Anon cal-."
  92. >"Because both of them are male?"
  93. >Again, Twilight shot Rainbow Dash a look
  94. >"That's a part of it. But also Spike has helped me during school to calm down when I'm panicking. I'm sure he can handle Anon."
  95.  
  96. >Meanwhile, Spike pulled away from Anon as the latter finally took a seat to breath
  97. "T-Thank you."
  98. >"No problem dude. Us guys gotta stick together y'know?"
  99. >The human looked at the dragon weirdly for a bit before he leaned on the table tired.
  100. >"You uh, need anything."
  101. "I'm good. Just tired after everything."
  102. >Spike took a seat next to him, shooting him a reassuring smile
  103. >"Well if you need someone to talk to, I'm your dragon."
  104. >Anon for the first time smiled a little
  105. "Good to know. Hard to believe you were scared of me the first time."
  106. >"The first time? Why should I be scared of you?"
  107. >Spike couldn't recall a time when he got scared around Anon in the short time the alien got here
  108. >His question made Anon freeze though, as if he said something he shouldn't have.
  109. "R-Right. Forget I said anything."
  110. >The two boys sat in silence for a bit, trying to air out the awkward atmosphere
  111. >Anon reached out to pick one of the fallen hayburgers for a bit, only to spit out
  112. "Hurp... Bad idea."
  113.  
  114. >"Spike! We're back! I need you to send a letter for me."
  115. >Twilight and Rainbow Dash returned main library
  116. >The dragon hopped off from his seat and went towards Twilight
  117. >Rainbow Dash meanwhile approach the human cautiously, giving him a wry smile
  118. >"Hey there big guy..."
  119. >Anon gave her one look and was already to bolt but Rainbow Dash raised both of her forelegs in a panic
  120. >"Woah woah! Easy there. I'm not gonna hurt you."
  121. >The human murmured something as his eyes darkened towards the pegasus in fear and resentment
  122. >The latter part was quite new.
  123. >"L-Look. I heard from Twilight about you're uh, problem with contact."
  124. >Rainbow Dash decided to take it easy and sit on her haunches a few meters away from Anon from where he was sitting
  125. >"You don't have a reason to trust me big guy, but I'm gonna give you one. My name is-"
  126. "Rainbow Dash, I know. I've heard it from Twilight."
  127. >The human said as a matter of fact
  128. >"That's good! Right. So, how about we do something fun together. That'll cheer you up."
  129. >Something what the pegasus said made the alien snap
  130. >'Yeah that's what you get you ape!'
  131. >Anon immediately stood up, making the chair creak and catching Rainbow Dash off guard.
  132. "I... don't want to anything fun, especially from someone like you."
  133. >Anon marched off just as Twilight and Spike finished sending the letter.
  134. >The unicorn heard the commotion and trotted towards her friend who's ears drooped down
  135. >"Hey Dash? What happened?"
  136. >the multi-colored pegasus sighed, and turned towards her frustrated and confused
  137. >"I don't know Twilight."
  138. >The librarian mare looked towards where Anon left, questions piling up the more she learns about the colt
  139.  
  140. >Twilight knew they needed an expert in the field when it comes to mysterious creatures
  141. >So she and Rainbow Dash decide to head to a cottage outside of Ponyville
  142. >Home of the Element of Kindness, Fluttershy
  143. >"Yo, Flutters you home?"
  144. >RD banged on the door which caused a commotion inside
  145. >"J-Just a minute."
  146. >After a series of chickens screaming, trampling furniture, and a bear growl, the door opens to a butter-colored pegasus with a pink mane
  147. >"Oh! Rainbow and Twilight. W-What brings you two here?"
  148. >The mare peaked through her bangs
  149. >Twilight stepped forward
  150. >"Fluttershy, we need your help with something. You know a lot about handling critters and large creatures right? 'Specially on body language?
  151. >The shy pegasus slowly came of the cabin intrigued
  152. >"Y-Yes. I do try to take notes of all of my animal companions and their habits. I even note if Mr. Bear is upset when it comes to his diet."
  153. >Rainbow Dash pushed Twilight away excited
  154. >"So you know how to handle aliens right?"
  155. >"Eep!"
  156. >Fluttershy backed up a bit from the sudden question.
  157. >"Dash!"
  158. >"Sorry, it's just I'm getting antsy since I reaaally want to hang out with an alien like Anon. I mean c'mon who wouldn't prance at the chance?"
  159. >Fluttershy raised her brow.
  160. >"Aliens? Anon?"
  161. >Twilight shook her head.
  162. >"Let me explain."
  163. >After briefing Fluttershy of their situation, the yellow pegasus nodded her head
  164. >"It seems Anon is suffering from some sort of bad experience with other folk. Maybe he met some bad ponies in the past that caused him to be defensive."
  165. >The unicorn put a hoof on her chin.
  166. >"But that doesn't make sense, I and Spike where the first to meet him when I brought him here to Equestria."
  167. >The two pegasi looked at Twilight confused.
  168. >"I-I was messing with some spells ok?! I didn't think I'd bring in an alien colt to my world."
  169. >She blushed and looked away.
  170. >"Come to think of it, Anon does tend to glare at Rainbow Dash a lot."
  171. >The multi-colored mare grumbled at that
  172. >"What did I do?! I'm not a creep so I don't know why he would hate me."
  173. >"To be fair Rainbow, lots of stallions in Ponyville dislike you."
  174. >Fluttershy pointed out innocently which got her a glare from Rainbow Dash.
  175. >The shy pegasus squeaked and hid behind her wings
  176. >"...What if Anon knew Dash before all of this?"
  177. >Twilight pondered aloud
  178.  
  179. >"C'mon dude! You can't just sit here cooped up!"
  180. >Anon was holding on to a table as Spike tried to pull him away to go outside
  181. "I'm not going out there!"
  182. >"Look, I can assure you Ponyville is quite safe. I mean, apart from the swoopings every once in a while."
  183. "Swoopings?!"
  184. >The human gripped on the table tightly
  185. >Spike decided to give up. He was never gonna overpower someone as big as Anon that's for sure
  186. >"Fine, but can you at least tell me why you don't want to go outside?"
  187. "I... just can't deal with ponies yet. Let alone crowds of them."
  188. >Anon sat on a chair and wrapped his arms around his knees
  189. >"...Can I ask why you hate ponies?"
  190. >Spike asked while twiddling his claws
  191.  
  192. >Anon turned to Spike with a conflicted look
  193. "I don't exactly hate them per say but..."
  194. >He pursed his lips as Spike scooted closer
  195. >The human sighed
  196. "Look this whole thing is a bit complicated that a kid like you wouldn't understand."
  197. >Spike snorted
  198. >"Pfft try me. I've been Twilight's assistant for months and I've sorted through complicated stuff like all the books in this library."
  199. "That's not what I-"
  200. >Anon shook his head
  201. "You know what, I think I really do need to get outside. Preferably away from this place."
  202. >Spike now looked excited
  203. >"Aw yeah! I knew you'd see things my way Anon. C'mon I know a cool place where we can-"
  204. >The alien shook his head and walked away as the little drake followed him, telling all sorts of fun stuff they could do.
  205.  
  206. >"-And then we could visit Rarity. She's probably the most prettiest, mareliest mare I've ever met. I mean, if I grow up one day I'll probably ask her out."
  207. >As Spike finished his story, he noticed he and Anon are at the edge of Everfree Forest.
  208. >"Uh, Anon? What are we doing here?"
  209. >Anon looked forward, not turning to the dragon before speaking.
  210. "Spike, you're... a good kid. But I think you should go."
  211. >The purple drake looked at his companion with concern
  212. >"But this place is dangerous! We should go back before Twilight returns. I mean she'll sort this out right?"
  213. >Spike tried to pull Anon away from the dangerous forest but he didn't budge
  214. >Anon let out a shuddered breath
  215. "Just go away. I don't want you to see something you'd regret."
  216. >Now Spike was determined to pull Anon away.
  217. >He tried to push him with both of his claws, digging his feet on to the ground but the human looked at the dragon with pity and mirth
  218. >Anon kneeled down and put his hand on Spike's head
  219. "Why are you doing this?"
  220. >"Me?! Why are YOU trying to go to Everfree Forest! Are you trying to get yourself..."
  221. >His words died down as he seemed to piece something together.
  222. >Anon realized what Spike was about to say and he stopped the young kid.
  223. "N-No! No."
  224. >He grimaced
  225. "Spike, I'm sorry. God, I shouldn't come here for fucks sake..."
  226. >His last few words choked up on his throat
  227. >Anon stood up and let out a wry smile, trying to elevate the situation.
  228. >But this just made the dragon cry and wrapped his arms around Anon's neck
  229. >Anon froze up a bit before returning the hug.
  230. >Tears threatened to come out of his eyes but he tried to hold strong.
  231. >The two maintained their hug for a bit before Spike pulled away, stricken with tears
  232. >"A-Are you gonna be alright?"
  233. >Anon rubbed his mouth as he hissed
  234. "Maybe, maybe not."
  235. >However, something rustled in the bushes near them
  236. >The two turned towards the source of disturbance with caution
  237. >Tension begin to arise when they see a silhouette approach them
  238. >Revealing to be a Zebra, who is just as shocked at their presence.
  239. >"Oh! Pardon the intrusion, but I thought myself to be in nature's seclusion
  240.  
  241. >Anon wasn't sure to make of this stranger in front of him.
  242. >The zebra wasn't someone he was familiar with.
  243. >Let alone he met in the past
  244. "Sorry if we're intruding on your private property."
  245. >Spike suddenly had an idea and tugged on Anon's pants
  246. >"Don't worry Anon, Zecora is cool."
  247. >The little drake thought if Anon isn't comfortable with ponies, then the next best thing would work
  248. >Zecora chuckled as she eyed the strange creature
  249. >"It is quite alright. Though in a manner of my curiosity, may I ask your identity?
  250. >The human took a deep breath
  251. >"Well my name is Anon and I'm what you call a human."
  252. >He scanned Zecora up and down, scrutinizing if she has any bad intentions
  253. >Zecora seemed to notice this, noting how this male seemed to be paranoid at something
  254. >"Do not fret Anon, for in these woods I am a healer. Though in my eyes your stature alone is much scarier."
  255. >Zecora said that last part in a jest but that seemed to put Anon in a bad mood
  256. >Spike got in between the two as he shot Zecora a look saying 'He's kind of sensitive about his appearance'
  257. >The hermit nodded her head, and gave an apologetic look at Anon
  258. >"Sincerest apologies then." she said curtly
  259. >Anon scratched the back of his head and turned to the direction of Ponyville
  260. "I-It's alright. I've been called worse."
  261. >The three stood there not knowing what to do until Zecora spoke up
  262. >"If you seek a way to lighten the air, perhaps you and Spike would visit my lair?"
  263. >Spike jumped up, excited
  264. >"Would I?! C'mon Anon, you've got to see Zecora's hut. It's filled with really cool stuff!"
  265. >The human chuckled as Spike tried to drag him off to follow Zecora
  266. >At the very least, this was something new he had yet to experience
  267.  
  268. >"Spiiike! We're home!"
  269. >Twilight called out in her library as she looked around.
  270. >Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash followed her into the room as the latter flew up to scan each and every room
  271. >Twilight was confused and wondered where the two could've been
  272. >"Dash? You see them?"
  273. >The pegasus returned and shook her head.
  274. >"They are not in the other rooms."
  275. >Now the unicorn was worried
  276. >"S-Should we go look for them?"
  277. >"Probably, Anon wouldn't try to go outside since he seemed scared. Spike wouldn't be able to coax him to walk out."
  278. >Dash snorted
  279. >"We're talking about two colts here, well dragon and alien. Who knows how their mind works."
  280. >Twilight rolled her eyes.
  281. >Still, the idea Anon knew Dash before, and perhaps all of them was starting to make her worry.
  282. >"Alright here's the plan. Dash, why don't you round up the others while me and Fluttershy look for clues."
  283. >Rainbow Dash landed on the ground annoyed
  284. >"Aw c'mon why don't I be in the search party? I can cover more ground with how fast I am."
  285. >"Because you might scare Anon judging by his behavior I heard"
  286. >The cyan pony huffed at Fluttershy's comment
  287. >"No fair you girls get to hunt an alien..."
  288.  
  289. >Fluttershy and Twilight headed off to ask the locals if they've seen Spike alongside Anon.
  290. >Rainbow Dash decided to head to the nearest friend she could find
  291. >"And that would be me, Pinkie Pie!"
  292. >"Gah!"
  293. >Dash held her tuft from the sudden appearance of the pink mare
  294. >"Don't sneak up on me like that!"
  295. >"Well how would you want me to sneak up on you like that?"
  296. >Dash felt a hoof on her shoulder and turned around screaming.
  297. >"Like this?"
  298. >"Knock it off!"
  299. >The original Pinkie walked away as the pegasus addressed the second
  300. >"Look we have a situation regarding a very antsy and jumpy alien colt getting lost."
  301. >The earth mare gasped and shook her friend
  302. >"You mean that Anon fellow you three kept talking about as I hid somewhere to surprise you three?!"
  303. >Dash shook her dizziness away.
  304. >"Y-Yep urp that. We're also gonna have to get Rarity and Applejack here as well."
  305. >"Okie dokie! Gonna bring Rarity here so we can start the hunt!"
  306. >A Pinkie shaped dust-cloud was in her place as the energetic mare left the library
  307. >With that settled Dash flew off from the window to get a certain farm mare
  308.  
  309. >"Applejack! You home?"
  310. >the multi-colored mare hovered above the orchard looking for a certain orange mare when she heard grunting and tree rustling
  311. >She landed nearby and spotted Applejack with a wheelbarrow full of Apples
  312. >With a solid buck of her hooves against the tree trunk, the stetson-wearing mare knocked off a bunch of apples and landed on the stacks of apples.
  313. >"Hey Applejack. You busy?"
  314. >The mare in question grunted and did another buck, sweat pouring out of her hat
  315. >"What does it look like sugarcube? Currently on my shift today."
  316. >Rainbow Dash eyed all the apples that have yet to be harvested
  317. >"Well we kinda got a situation. Twilight's... friend got lost we're bringing all the girls in to find him"
  318. >Applejack didn't notice the offhanded comment and continued bucking
  319. >"Colts get lost in the forest and in town all the time."
  320. >The farm mare turned to the jock pegasus with a frown
  321. >"Ya be a gentlemare and help them fellers up, and then suddenly they accuse ya of rubbing yer tuft in their face."
  322. >Rainbow Dash shook her head
  323. >"Nu uh, this is a different type of colt. Tall, jumpy, kind of hates me."
  324. >"Be specific Dash, lots of colt hate you for being a creep."
  325. >"Why does everypony here keep calling me a creep?!"
  326. >The pegasus looked around frustrated
  327. >"Look, Anon's not exactly a colt. He's an alien Twilight brought here and now he's missing."
  328. >Applejack looked at Rainbow Dash with a raised brow
  329. >"Now yer losin' me sugarcube."
  330. >The pegasus sighed
  331. >"Just, help us out on this one. Twilight won't hear the end of it if we flake on her."
  332. >Applejack looked at the stacks of apples she has to carry and turned towards her friend
  333. >She sighed
  334. >"Alright then, might hurt ma conscience if a colt got hurt because of mah negligence."

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