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A Brilliant Research

By CoolNon
Created: 2023-04-07 09:22:11
Updated: 2024-04-20 06:46:54
Expiry: Never
anonapplejacksweetie bellefluttershypinkie pierarityocrgre

  1. 1.
    >CMC decided to see if Anon's balls are bigger than Big Mac's
  2. 2.
    >Scootaloo and Applebloom argue whether or not their brotherly-figure is better
  3. 3.
    >Sweetie Belle currently has several tissues stuck up to her bloody nostrils
  4. 4.
     
  5. 5.
    >"Hello and Good Morning!"
  6. 6.
    >"My name is Sheer Brilliance"
  7. 7.
    >The camera pans to a spectacled unicorn mare with a sky blue coat and orange mane
  8. 8.
    >She fiddles with the camera before clearing her throat
  9. 9.
    >"Erhm... My Name is Sheer Brilliance and today I'm going to present to you my thesis for Alien Sexual Anatomy"
  10. 10.
    >"Now you might be asking 'Alien Sexual Anatomy? Isn't that a bit too far out there and a bit crude for your taste?'"
  11. 11.
    >"Even I thought so to. But, I have recently discovered an opportunity of a life time!"
  12. 12.
    >She turns to the side and brings up a newspaper with her magic to the front of the camera
  13. 13.
    >"' 'Alien living in Ponyville', 'Hairless Ape welcomed to the land of Equestria by Princess Twilight Sparkle.' "
  14. 14.
    >The paper floats down revealing her excited face
  15. 15.
    >"This is my new chance of finding out how other species other than our own world repopulate!"
  16. 16.
    >Brilliance fixes her glances and coughs
  17. 17.
    >"B-But I can assure you this isn't some ploy to get into some alien pants. I have been an avid fan of aliens in my childhood."
  18. 18.
    >"I looked up to Princess Luna's stars and thought of them as worlds farther than our own."
  19. 19.
    >"Thinking of how other ponies, or even somethings even live."
  20. 20.
    >She stares at the camera with a surefire look
  21. 21.
    >"I picked sexual anatomy because it's a subject never been taken by other researchers."
  22. 22.
    >"Usually it's just 'culture, eating habits, or any other boring topics of the like."
  23. 23.
    >"But Sexual Anatomy? Ooh that's a spicy topic any pony would want to pick up."
  24. 24.
    >"Plus, it could lead some insight on some of the rumors I've been hearing about the subject."
  25. 25.
    >She looks to the left and right before whispering closely
  26. 26.
    >"Apparently the mares on his world wear bras."
  27. 27.
    >The unicorn steps back
  28. 28.
    >"Right so... I've been packing up for the train for Ponyville."
  29. 29.
    >"I got my notebook, crystal etcher, contracts in case I don't want to get sued, food, clothes, everything I need."
  30. 30.
    >"Alright I think that's all that I need to say for my first log in my thesis."
  31. 31.
    >"Next time, I'll be on Ponyville interviewing all the locals that know our subject."
  32. 32.
    >"Hopefully it gives me on insight on how to approach the alien and hope fully get a hooves-on-"
  33. 33.
    >She shakes her flustered head
  34. 34.
    >"u-up close and personal interview with him."
  35. 35.
    >"Anyway... This is Sheer Brilliance signing off."
  36. 36.
     
  37. 37.
    >The next video cuts to the camera under the face chin of Sheer Brilliance
  38. 38.
    >"So uh... Here we are. Ponyville"
  39. 39.
    >The camera turns towards the station with very few ponies coming and going
  40. 40.
    >"Very rustic. Not that's a bad thing, just not what I'm used to."
  41. 41.
    >"The next step would be looking for the hotel I'm staying for the next few days."
  42. 42.
    >Sheer Brilliance stops for a second and looks around
  43. 43.
    >"Maybe I should ask around..."
  44. 44.
    >The camera mare trots towards a nearby tall red pony
  45. 45.
    >"Excuse me ma'am?"
  46. 46.
    >"Pardon?"
  47. 47.
    >The video feed jumbles as the tall mare turns out to be a stallion
  48. 48.
    >"Oh! Uh! Sorry Sir! I'm just looking for a hotel called 'Cozy Camper?"
  49. 49.
    >The red stallion's brow furrows a bit before happily responding
  50. 50.
    >"Sure! Just head thataway and turn at the second street corner and ya'll find yerself there in a jiffy."
  51. 51.
    >Sheer Brilliance audibly sighs in relief
  52. 52.
    >"This way right?"
  53. 53.
    >"Eeyup"
  54. 54.
    >"Cool! Thanks!"
  55. 55.
    >"No problemo."
  56. 56.
    >The stallion picks up a basket of apples and trots away
  57. 57.
    >"Huh... At least the colts here are different."
  58. 58.
    >The camera slowly but subtly starts zooming in on the stallion's behind-
  59. 59.
    >"HEY!"
  60. 60.
    >The camera turns to see a furious stetson wearing mare trotting towards Brilliance
  61. 61.
    >"Ya'll think ya can ogle mah brother and git away with it!?"
  62. 62.
    >"No! I-I mean! I was just asking for d-directions!"
  63. 63.
    >"Oh ya'll need directions alright, for whats up and down when ahm thru with ya!"
  64. 64.
    >"No no no WAIT-"
  65. 65.
    >The video cuts again, now in a modest room with Sheer Brilliance peeking through the peep hole
  66. 66.
    >The mare was breathing heavily before sliding down the door
  67. 67.
    >"Okay. I think *sigh* I lost her."
  68. 68.
    >Sheer Brilliance takes a deep breath before approaching the camera
  69. 69.
    >"As- *audible swallow* -you can see. The first day of the research almost went horribly bad."
  70. 70.
    >She takes another deep breath to calm herself
  71. 71.
    >"But who's to say anatomy was easy amiright?"
  72. 72.
    >The mare chuckles to herself
  73. 73.
    >"Anyway. Tomorrow marks the first official day of research. I'll be interviewing folks here at Ponyville about the alien to get a feel for how to approach him"
  74. 74.
    >"This is Sheer Brilliance signing off."
  75. 75.
    >She reaches up for the camera to turn it off
  76. 76.
    >But not before her heavy whispers reach the camera's mic
  77. 77.
    >"Celestia's sun I need to lose weight..."
  78. 78.
     
  79. 79.
    >The camera turns on to the view of a busy street
  80. 80.
    >"Hello... This is Sheer Brilliance with the first official day of research for 'Alien Sexual Anatomy.' "
  81. 81.
    >"My first stop is the Carousel Botique, where the subject buys their clothing."
  82. 82.
    >Sheer Brilliance turns the camera towards her face, excited
  83. 83.
    >"Wish me luck."
  84. 84.
    >She cleared her throat and attempted to knock on the door
  85. 85.
    >Only for a little white filly to open it first
  86. 86.
    >"Oh! Excuse me miss."
  87. 87.
    >"No no! It's okay. I just uh... I'm just going to talk to the owner of the Carousel Botique?"
  88. 88.
    >"You mean my sister? Sure I'll get her."
  89. 89.
    >Sheer Brilliance waited for the filly to go back to the shop.
  90. 90.
    >She waited for a moment about to ask if she was gonna get her sister until the filly started screaming
  91. 91.
    >"BIG SIS YOU HAVE A CUSTOMER! ALSO I'M GOING TO HANG OUT WITH MY FRIENDS!"
  92. 92.
    >The cacophony of crashing and angry meowing emit from the inside
  93. 93.
    >"J-Just a minute."
  94. 94.
    >The filly, not caring about what happened inside, pranced away and left the boutique
  95. 95.
    >The camera pans towards the open doorway
  96. 96.
    >Sheer Brilliance sighs and enters the building
  97. 97.
    >Rows of pony mannequins draped with various patterns of cloth are littered around the interior
  98. 98.
    >A white mare with purple mane reveals herself from the cover brushing her mane
  99. 99.
    >"Sometimes I wish Sweetie Belle would just learn about- Ah. Welcome to the Carousel Boutique!"
  100. 100.
    >The seamstress noticed the small camera pointed at her
  101. 101.
    >"Ah! You must be from the Frame Perfect Monthly for my long awaited interview?"
  102. 102.
    >The colty mare posed with a sofa magically appearing behind her to catch her fall with a spotlight lighting the center
  103. 103.
    >"Er... Not exactly. I'm Sheer Brilliance and I wanted to have an interview with you since you make clothes for a certain alien."
  104. 104.
    >The mare stops her posing and the sofa and spotlight disappear
  105. 105.
    >"Oh. Well if introductions are in order, allow me to introduce myself as Rarity. I'm also the only known tailor for the only human in Equestria!"
  106. 106.
    >The sound of scribbling could be heard right near the mic
  107. 107.
    >"Okay Rarity, I umm I apologize if this sudden actually. It looks like you're a bit busy with all this."
  108. 108.
    >The camera pans towards the mess of a shop
  109. 109.
    >"No no no. It's fine darling. Follow me to the dining room. I'll fix us up some tea and we can talk about Anonymous."
  110. 110.
    >"An-non-ee-moous... So that's the subject's name."
  111. 111.
    >Sheer Brilliance whispers to herself as she follows the mare now known as Rarity
  112. 112.
    >The video cuts towards a table with Rarity positioned at the center
  113. 113.
    >Her name and title flashes on the side
  114. 114.
    >"So Ms. Rarity-"
  115. 115.
    >"Just Rarity is fine please. It makes me feel like I'm older and we are in casual setting."
  116. 116.
    >"Okay so Rarity, tell me how you met the subject Anonymous?"
  117. 117.
     
  118. 118.
    >Rarity hovered a tea cup to her lips for a sip before speaking
  119. 119.
    >"Well darling, It was around 2:34 pm where I was taking inventory and preparing for the upcoming Fall Fashion Season when the door opened to my good friend Twilight."
  120. 120.
    >"However, behind her was a creature unlike I've ever seen before."
  121. 121.
    >Setting the tea aside, she continued
  122. 122.
    >"It was a lanky minotaur, but with no horns or tail to begin with. He introduced himself as Anonymous."
  123. 123.
    >"Though the first thing I noticed was the awful, soot-covered clothing he was wearing!"
  124. 124.
    >The sound of scribbling notes could be heard
  125. 125.
    >"He was covered in soot?"
  126. 126.
    >Rarity suddenly leaned forward and slammed her hooves on to the table
  127. 127.
    >"Yes! It was awful! No stallion will ever be caught dead with so much as a stain on their neckerchief!"
  128. 128.
    >The unicorn huffed at the memory and continued, sitting upright again
  129. 129.
    >"In any case, Twilight explained tome the situation. Apparently she was experimenting on dimensional travel with the mirror and accidentally summoned the poor thing."
  130. 130.
    >"As the bearer of Generosity, I offered to sew clothes for dear Anonymous. But not before scolding Ms. Sparkle for dragging the colt's garments through the ringer."
  131. 131.
    >More scribbling
  132. 132.
    >"So what was it like sewing clothes for an extra terrestrial."
  133. 133.
    >Rarity gave her an odd look but continued
  134. 134.
    >"It was not that difficult in retrospect darling. All I needed was some references to Anonymous' measurements and some spare minotaur clothing."
  135. 135.
    >"Uh huh. No problems whatsoever?"
  136. 136.
    >The unicorn gave a smug grin
  137. 137.
    >"Of course."
  138. 138.
    >"But what about his er- anatomy down below?"
  139. 139.
    >Rarity took a sip and answered without a beat
  140. 140.
    >"Already taken care of. I took in to account his size with my keen eye and field tested the undergarments by yours truly."
  141. 141.
    >There was a pang of silence after
  142. 142.
    >"Alrighty then... Well uh thank you Ms. Rarity for the interview. It was... quite informative."
  143. 143.
    >"None to worry darling! It was the least I could do."
  144. 144.
    >With that, the video ends.
  145. 145.
    >It cuts to the next scene of a colorful cake shop
  146. 146.
    >"Mare, all this walking is making me hungry."
  147. 147.
     
  148. 148.
    >-Extra-
  149. 149.
    >Rarity bids the unicorn farewell and returns to the shop
  150. 150.
    >Fixing all the mess with a single flick of her horn she comes across the near finished briefs of a certain alien
  151. 151.
    >She grabs a piece with her magic and wears it, giving her a butt an extra wiggle in front of the mirror
  152. 152.
    >"Hmm. Should probably add more elasticity to the waistband for a good grip. Ooh! And make the fabric it more compact to hug those extra goodies."
  153. 153.
     
  154. 154.
    >"This is Sheer Brilliance reporting in for my scheduled lunch as I continue my research on the subject Anonymous."
  155. 155.
    >The camera opens to unicorn stuffing her face with a gigantic cupcake with blueberry filling
  156. 156.
    >"This fine establishment where I am now is Ground Zero."
  157. 157.
    >Brilliance turns the camera to the ceiling revealing a 5 pointed squiggly star-shaped hole that was hastily covered with two by fours
  158. 158.
    >"Sugar Cube, the dessert shop, was where Anonymous, the human, landed here."
  159. 159.
    >She wipes her face to clear the crumbs on her muzzle
  160. 160.
    >"At least that's what the papers have said."
  161. 161.
    >"Right now, I'm going to interview one the subject's first contacts, Pinkamena Pie."
  162. 162.
    >"THAT'S MY NAME! Don't wear it out."
  163. 163.
    >"GAH!"
  164. 164.
    >Sheer Brilliance near flipped her dessert when a pink earth pony shoving her face on to the camera
  165. 165.
    >"Is this a camera? Am I on TV?! HI MOM, HI DAD, HI MAUD, HI LIMESTONE, HI MARBLE-"
  166. 166.
    >A hoof places itself on the noisy mares's mouth
  167. 167.
    >"Ms. Pie! I mean, Ms. Pie, I'm sorry if I bother you but-"
  168. 168.
    >Pinkie pulls away and shakes the mare's hoof
  169. 169.
    >"Daw! Don't be sorry Sheery! If someone calls my name I can't help but show up! Though I prefer to be called Pinkie Pie. It's what my friends call me! And everyone's my friend here."
  170. 170.
    >"Well okay then-"
  171. 171.
    >*gasp* "You must be new to Ponyville! I should throw you a welcome party here! Even Nonny liked it when I threw him a party.
  172. 172.
    >"No, please, I don't need a party. But I want to talk to you about-
  173. 173.
    >"Actually you remind me of my friend Twilight! She's such a good friend. She's even a princess of Friendship .Could you imagine that?!
  174. 174.
    >"PINKIE!"
  175. 175.
    >The party pony stopped bouncing around the booth and sits on the opposite side of Sheer Brilliance
  176. 176.
    >"Yes?"
  177. 177.
    >The unicorn takes a deep breath
  178. 178.
    >"I just want to interview you about Anonymous. It's for my research."
  179. 179.
    >Pinkie leans forward with a raised brow
  180. 180.
    >"You mean Nonny? Current talk of the town Nonny? My bestest alien friend besides my other 5 bestest friends Nonny? Currently reigning top 3 best smiles to protect of Equestria and rising Anonymous?
  181. 181.
    >With each new title, the earth mare was getting closer and up at the unicorn's face. Her one eye pointed down at her nervous customer
  182. 182.
    >"Y-Yes that Nonny."
  183. 183.
    >Pinkie zips back at her seat like rubber and lets out a big smile
  184. 184.
    >"Okie dokie lokie! What do you want to talk about?"
  185. 185.
    >Sheer Brilliance wipes her forehead in relief and fixes herself
  186. 186.
    >"I want you to talk about you handled your first contact with Anonymous the alien."
  187. 187.
    >With a pen and paper, she was ready to write down everything this mare has to offer
  188. 188.
     
  189. 189.
    >Pinkie was on a roll
  190. 190.
    >While skating around the parlor, she took several orders and threw them in the air
  191. 191.
    >Each dessert landed perfectly on each table filled with happy stallions
  192. 192.
    >"Such agility!"
  193. 193.
    >"Such strength!"
  194. 194.
    >"Bear my children Pinkie!"
  195. 195.
    >She salutes the stallions before spotting a depressed Caramel
  196. 196.
    >"Oh me oh my! If only there was a pink mare that could make me smile."
  197. 197.
    >Pinkie landed on the table and pulled out Caramel's order from her hair
  198. 198.
    >"BEHOLD! You're pumpkin spiced frappe with extra sprinkles and coffee bits on the side my good colt."
  199. 199.
    >The stallion let out a gasp before blushing up a storm
  200. 200.
    >"Oh Pinkie Pie! You always know a way to a stallion's heart."
  201. 201.
    >"You know me Caramel! Say how about you tip me the usual."
  202. 202.
    >The stallion presented his rump towards the mare and the latter gave it a mighty slap
  203. 203.
    >"Ah~!"
  204. 204.
     
  205. 205.
    >Sheer Brilliance could only sit still, slack-jawed at what monstrosity she wrote on her notepad
  206. 206.
    >"And then, several stallions suddenly stood up and fought just to tip me. Of course, I wasn't gonna allow a fight to occur so I requested each and every stallion there to form a line and-"
  207. 207.
    >"How about we just fast forward to the time Anonymous entered."
  208. 208.
    >Pinkie visibly deflated
  209. 209.
    >"But I was going to gonna talk about how I beat the Equestrian record for most booty slaps per minute."
  210. 210.
    >"Please, Pinkie? I just... can't put this in."
  211. 211.
    >Pinkie Pie reflates herself by blowing into her hair and continued
  212. 212.
     
  213. 213.
    >Suddenly there was fire
  214. 214.
    >The whole ceiling lit up and upon there descended an creature unlike any another
  215. 215.
    >He landed on the ground with his fist down
  216. 216.
    >The alien stood tall and looked around, flames still burning on his back
  217. 217.
    >"To where may I find sustenance to fill my needs?"
  218. 218.
    >All the ponies in the room gasped and looked around, thinking of something they could do to appease the mysterious creature
  219. 219.
    >All but one
  220. 220.
    >Pinkie Pie, the brave mare, stepped forward and presented a giant cupcake
  221. 221.
    >It was the Tuesday Jello Special, with frosting replaced with red jello jiggling top of it
  222. 222.
    >The creature picked up the food and smeared all over his face
  223. 223.
    >The fire on his back slowly extinguished
  224. 224.
    >He had a smile on his face and and knelt down on the brave earth pony
  225. 225.
    >"What is your name?"
  226. 226.
    >"Pinkie Pie! The number one party mare of Ponyville!"
  227. 227.
    >The alien laughed and pulled her up to his shoulder
  228. 228.
    >"The name suits you! Everyone, give it up for our number one party pony, Pinkie Pie!"
  229. 229.
    >"Pinkie Pie! Pinkie Pie! Pinkie Pie!"
  230. 230.
    >Everypony clapped
  231. 231.
     
  232. 232.
    >"-And that's how I met Nonny! The end."
  233. 233.
    >Pinkie let out a squee just from the memory
  234. 234.
    >Sheer Brilliance could only scratch her forehead with the pencil's eraser while looking down at her notes
  235. 235.
    >"So let's see if I can interpret this right, Anonymous crashed down from the ceiling, he was on fire, and you used your Tuesday Jello Special-"
  236. 236.
    >"-You should try it! We have it every Tuesday. It says so in its name."
  237. 237.
    >"-to put out the flames while he was on fire, then he introduced himself you."
  238. 238.
    >The unicorn looks up from her notes
  239. 239.
    >"Is this correct?"
  240. 240.
    >"Yep!"
  241. 241.
    >Pinkie emphasizes the 'p'
  242. 242.
    >"Great!"
  243. 243.
    >Sheer Brilliance began to pack up her stuff
  244. 244.
    >"This has been an insightful interview butIhaveplacestogossightstoseeandI'msorryforleavingsosoonokaybye!"
  245. 245.
    >Wit that, she dashes out of the Sugar Cube Corner
  246. 246.
    >"What is wrong with this town?"
  247. 247.
     
  248. 248.
     
  249. 249.
    >-Extra-
  250. 250.
    >"Bye Sheers! It was nice knowing you!"
  251. 251.
    >At the same time, Caramel entered the parlor with a grumpy look
  252. 252.
    >Pinkie Pie noticed and trotted behind him
  253. 253.
    >"BUENOS DIAS, CARAMEL!"
  254. 254.
    >The stallion lets out a screech when he felt a firm slap on his rear
  255. 255.
    >He looks angrily at Pinkie and fires a quick buck with his legs, earning the mare a sunken face
  256. 256.
    >"B-Baka!"
  257. 257.
     
  258. 258.
    >The camera cuts to a street in Ponyville
  259. 259.
    >"Okay, so far we have a good idea on the subject's first contact with Ponykind."
  260. 260.
    >"Given the information given to us by 'eccentric' eyewitnesses. I have a good idea on how to approach Anonymous for tomorrow's goal-"
  261. 261.
    >"YOU!"
  262. 262.
    >She turns to see a furious stetson-wearing pony wielding a crossbow
  263. 263.
    >"Ohhh shoot."
  264. 264.
    >"GET BACK HERE YOU BROTHER-PEEPING VARMINT!"
  265. 265.
    >The camera shakes as Sheer Brilliance runs away from the crazy mare.
  266. 266.
    >A bolt zips past the camera making her scream
  267. 267.
    >"I didn't mean to peep on your brother!"
  268. 268.
    >The angry mare only yells back as a response and already shoots another bolt, nearly missing the researcher
  269. 269.
    >"Eep!"
  270. 270.
    >Brilliance turns the corner between two houses and finds herself back to a deadend blocked by a fence
  271. 271.
    >Using her wits, she pulls a trashcan with her magic and uses it as a foothold to climb up
  272. 272.
    >"Oh no you don't you pervert!"
  273. 273.
    >The projectile lands near inches to Brilliance's leg as she hoists herself up
  274. 274.
    >When she is finally at the top of the fence, her horn glows and rolls the trashcan towards her pursuer
  275. 275.
    >The mare was surprised at what the unicorn did and in response bucked oncoming obstacle
  276. 276.
    >The impact causes it to spew out the rest of its remains and on to the earth pony
  277. 277.
    >"Awwh! Ahh! Gross!"
  278. 278.
    >Leaving the crazy pony sputtering out the muck, Sheer Brilliance lands at the other side of the fence and scurries off
  279. 279.
    >Her heavy breathing is audible as she takes a rest on the nearby edge of the woods.
  280. 280.
    >"I think- *cough* I think I lost her."
  281. 281.
    >She plops her plot on to the ground and wipes away the sweat on her forehead.
  282. 282.
    >"Is Ponyville really this crazy? How does one even survive here?"
  283. 283.
    >"It can be a bit much but I consider it home."
  284. 284.
    >"AHHH!"
  285. 285.
    >"EEEP!"
  286. 286.
    >She turns towards the new voice and finds a yellow pegasus shaking and hiding away from Sheer Brilliance with her wings.
  287. 287.
    >Taking a good look at her, the mare doesn't look too threatening
  288. 288.
    >Yet
  289. 289.
    >"Oh uh, sorry for scaring you miss! I'm just a bit jumpy after some crazy mare was hunting me down. My n-name is Sheer Brilliance by the way! Unicorn researcher from Canterlot!"
  290. 290.
    >She extends a hoof to the quivering pony
  291. 291.
    >The pegasus lets one eye peek from her wings before approaching her slowly and taking her hoof.
  292. 292.
    >"F-Fluttershy"
  293. 293.
     
  294. 294.
    >The scene cuts to Sheer Brilliance walking with Fluttershy
  295. 295.
    >"Wow, being a researcher must be pretty fun."
  296. 296.
    >"It is! You get to travel all over Equestria and beyond! Though I guess being a caretaker for critters isn't too different from my profession."
  297. 297.
    >The pegasus tries to smile but bows her head when the camera starts focusing on her
  298. 298.
    >Sheer Brilliance notices this
  299. 299.
    >"Oh uh, sorry if recording you is making you uncomfortable."
  300. 300.
    >"It kind of is. Could you kindly turn it away."
  301. 301.
    >The unicorn turns the camera away leaving it only seeing the ground they walk on
  302. 302.
    >"So, what kind of research are you doing?"
  303. 303.
    >Sheer Brilliance chuckles with pride
  304. 304.
    >"The first of its kind! I'm doing research on a never before seen creature that landed on Equestrian soil."
  305. 305.
    >"Really what's it like?"
  306. 306.
    >"It's a confirmed he! The specimen is something of a oddity within our books so I wanted to be the first."
  307. 307.
    >Fluttershy was silent at first before speaking
  308. 308.
    >"Would this specimen be Anon?"
  309. 309.
    >"Oh do you know him?"
  310. 310.
    >"I do, I'm one of the people who showed him around Ponyville alongside Twilight."
  311. 311.
    >Sheer Brilliance was ecstatic
  312. 312.
    >"That means you can tell me all about him!"
  313. 313.
    >"Oh that's a good idea! We could share each other's information about him?"
  314. 314.
    >The pegasus was looking into Anonymous? Strange but just another opportunity about her research.
  315. 315.
    >They arrive at Fluttershy's cabin as the mare fiddles with her keys to open the door
  316. 316.
    >"I think I could share you some of my notes here. Oh! Do you mind if I take some notes about your testimony about the alien?"
  317. 317.
    >"I don't mind at all."
  318. 318.
    >Fluttershy opens the door and lets Sheer Brilliance in
  319. 319.
    >It was a quaint little cabin suited for a mare living alone
  320. 320.
    >"Is it okay if I record your notes?"
  321. 321.
    >"Sure, my 'notes' are over here."
  322. 322.
    >The camera finally pans up to reveal a corner of the room draped with a red velvet cloth
  323. 323.
    >"Is this it?"
  324. 324.
    >"Yes, here let me pull the dust cover."
  325. 325.
    >She pulls the drapes with her mouth revealing a site Sheer Brilliance wished she'd never see
  326. 326.
    >It was a shrine
  327. 327.
    >A shrine dedicated to Anonymous
  328. 328.
    >Photos from the view just a few yards away from the unaware alien
  329. 329.
    >Jars of hair, nails, and ...other fluids
  330. 330.
    >Scrapped letters filled with hearts written with a red crayon
  331. 331.
    >In the middle was a group photo cutout leaving Anonymous and Fluttershy as the two remaining
  332. 332.
    >"What the buck..."
  333. 333.
    >"Language."
  334. 334.
    >Sheer Brilliance hears a click from the only exit
  335. 335.
     
  336. 336.
    >Turning around, Fluttershy is at the door staring daggers at the camera's owner
  337. 337.
    >"So, you think you know sooo much about Anon."
  338. 338.
    >The pegasus takes a step forward
  339. 339.
    >"Uhhm... Fluttershy what are you doing?"
  340. 340.
    >Fluttershy takes a deep breath
  341. 341.
    >"What I am doing is a service to my future colfriend."
  342. 342.
    >Suddenly all manner of critters emerged from the furniture. Each baring their teeth, claws, and any other dangerous body part that could poke hard
  343. 343.
    >Sheer Brilliance gulps at what she had gotten into
  344. 344.
    >"You see, all manner of 'maress-uh' tried to take Anon away from me. And they all end up the same way."
  345. 345.
    >"Y-You kill them?!"
  346. 346.
    >That put's Fluttershy to a halt
  347. 347.
    >"Kill? No, I just knock them out and send them on a one-way trip to Timbucktu."
  348. 348.
    >"Oh."
  349. 349.
    >The unicorn breathes a sigh of relief
  350. 350.
    >"But that's not a bad idea actually. Bring her to me my pretties!"
  351. 351.
    >Fluttershy lets out a wicked laugh as all the critters moved to pounce on Sheer
  352. 352.
    >Suddenly Sheer Brilliance a war cry
  353. 353.
    >But it was more like a howling changeling with a voice-crack
  354. 354.
    >All of the knick-knacks containing the shrine of Anon floated up and was thrown against the small army like a gatling gun
  355. 355.
    >"NO! NOT MY COLLECTION! CATCH THEM ALL!"
  356. 356.
    >The critters tried their best to catch as many jars and photos as possible
  357. 357.
    >But it was too late, a jar of nails was smashed onto the floor sending Fluttershy in a crazed frenzy
  358. 358.
    >"NOT THE NAIL JAR! It took me weeks to engrave every date I took them from the trash!"
  359. 359.
    >The screen cuts to see an image of chaos as Fluttershy and her animals all try to recover the Anon collection
  360. 360.
    >Suddenly the scene zooms in on the pegasus before fading to black
  361. 361.
     
  362. 362.
    >Sheer Brilliance threw a jar out of the window and climbed out
  363. 363.
    >She lands hard on the grass floor and books it to the nearest tree line
  364. 364.
    >The unicorn made sure she wasn't being followed
  365. 365.
    >But she ran as far away from this crazy place as possible
  366. 366.
    >Good thing Unicorn school taught her basic self-defense using magic
  367. 367.
    >By the time she was tired of running, she was somewhere unfamiliar to her
  368. 368.
    >She realized she was in the middle of nowhere, at night
  369. 369.
    >"Oh great. Just great. Well it looks like I'm in a bit of a pickle her folks- Wait where is it?"
  370. 370.
    >Her camera is missing. Why is it missing?!
  371. 371.
    >It was around her neck and then-
  372. 372.
    >She threw it at the crazy pegasus
  373. 373.
    >The unicorn took a deep breath
  374. 374.
    >"CURSE YOU UNICORN SCHOOL OF DEFENSE MAGIC!"
  375. 375.
    >She let out all her frustrations from that outburst
  376. 376.
    >But now what?
  377. 377.
    >"I mean, it can't get any worse can it?"
  378. 378.
    >The sound of thunder echoed through the night sky, and a heavy downpour emerged
  379. 379.
    >Sheer Brilliance clicked her tongue and looked down
  380. 380.
    >No food, no water, no camera
  381. 381.
    >Stuck in the middle of nowhere
  382. 382.
    >"Well at least there's one thing to do."
  383. 383.
    >She lied down and silently cried on the wet grass
  384. 384.
    >Stupid town, stupid pony towns, stupid thesis, stupid STUPID STUPID!
  385. 385.
    >Sheer Brilliance decides to let nature take its course and just swallow her whole
  386. 386.
    >The unicorn cried her heart out, letting tiredness put her to sleep
  387. 387.
    >Unaware that a creature was approaching her
  388. 388.
     
  389. 389.
    >Sheer Brilliance woke to the sight of Celestia's sun peering down on her
  390. 390.
    >Is this Elysium?
  391. 391.
    >If it is, why is her nose clogged up and her throat hoarse?
  392. 392.
    >She sat up and coughed on the blanket on her before realizing where she is
  393. 393.
    >She was at someone's home.
  394. 394.
    >But it was quite uncanny, everything looked like it was bigger than most ponies
  395. 395.
    >Tartarus, even the bed she was laying on looked like it could accommodate a herd
  396. 396.
    >Where is she?
  397. 397.
    >The door opened up to the sight of some sort of bipedal monster
  398. 398.
    >Unicorn School of Magic Defense Secret Art: Throw the nearest furniture!
  399. 399.
    "Shitting fuck!"
  400. 400.
    >The creature's tray of food was knocked out from his hand with a clock, which led the hot soup pouring down on to the floor
  401. 401.
    >The utensils clattered on to the floor as the weird bipedal monster- wait biped?
  402. 402.
    >Sheer Brilliance eyes widened at the entity before her who was jumping around and nursing his burnt foot
  403. 403.
    >"Y-You're Anon!"
  404. 404.
    >Anon had to sit down to a nearby chair as he rubbed on his burning foot before looking at her with a raised brow
  405. 405.
    "Yeah, and I'm glad you're awake. Didn't expect the warm welcome though."
  406. 406.
    >Oops.

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