the bug cafe interview


                                            >*click*

                                            >"this is investigator Soft Boiled, Celestia guard badge number XXXXXX, interviewing a Mr. Anon Y, Mous at his residence on the outskirts of ponyville proper."

                                            >"it is currently 7:38PM, fifth day of the second moon of winter, 20XX."

                                            >"Good day Mr. Mous."

                                            "Hi."

                                            >"i am here today to investigate the recent string of reports of an infestation of bedbugs from your neighbors."

                                            "i dont have any neighbors out here."

                                            >"okay then lets just say, reports from concerned community members?"

                                            "Fine."

                                            >"i have several written and transcribed verbal complaints here on file regarding the company you have been keeping in your cottage and business-"

                                            "yeah i know the law, no law against keeping lings as company."

                                            >"yes Mr. Mous i a-"

                                            "stop calling me that, its Anon."

                                            >"Anon, i am aware that it is a legal and protected right for you to develop and nurture friendships with changelings as a pon- equestrian citizen,"

                                            >"but the way you have been conducting your friendships has been concerning ponyfolk in town as of late."

                                            "yeah, and?"

                                            >"and i am here to smooth some details out, or rather to update records."

                                            >"anywho, the changeling whom youve held in your lap since you have sat down,"

                                            >"for the record, what might his name be?"

                                            "her,"

                                            "her name is Elytra."

                                            "male changelings are few and kept close to the queen, the only way a male would leave the hive is dead."

                                            >"what about the other two ...lovely bugs that have been sat beside your chair?"

                                            "Tarsi and Maxillas, and they generally dont like it when you call them bugs."

                                            >"i apologize, what of the rest of them here on the counter and ...on the ceiling?"

                                            "their names arent important. besides, you would run out of tape."

                                            >"fair enough i suppose."

                                            >"would you mind going into detail how you have come to live and work with so many changelings Mr- anon?"

                                            "the door, i leave it open and they come in."

                                            >"you mean the..."

                                            "the doggy door yeah, its one way and just big enough to come through it but they cant sneak back out once they come in."

                                            "a new ling comes through every couple days."

                                            "told me before that going through open doggy doors are one of the infiltration tactics that they have been trained to use,"

                                            "but they were never trained on the one way versions."

                                            >"i see..."

                                            >"and am i correct in my assumption that you have befriended this group of changelings over the course of the last few moons?"

                                            "sure."

                                            >"and when had you the idea to begin employing them at your business?"

                                            "i started my business because of them."

                                            >"hows that?"

                                            "after the first few got stuck in my house and spent more time around me they told me i had more love to give than any creature they ever encountered."

                                            "at some point they started living with me full time and i began teaching them things i knew from my home."

                                            "the most important being how to make pancakes, one of the first things i taught them."

                                            "they love pancakes."

                                            "making em, eating em, sharing em."

                                            >"so you made a business of it?"

                                            "yes, they told me pancakes are a sort of love multiplier. so i just gave them a way to spread their love."

                                            >"and you see no problem in that?"

                                            "why would i? the ling honey café is one of the most successful establishments in ponyville."

                                            >"yes but... theyre changelings."

                                            "theyre also my friends."

                                            "isnt friendship supposed to be the most important thing to you ponies?"

                                            >"it is, yes, but the invasion-"

                                            "Lytra here, she was the first who stuck around."

                                            "the morning i found her she was asleep on my kitchen floor, i let her out and she came back."

                                            "she brought Max and Tarsi along the next day and i woke up with them there under the covers with me."

                                            "word spread amongst their hive about me through Lytra and her word still brings lings into our home to this day."

                                            "i have saved more changelings from Chrysalis by bringing them into my family than your entire army killed in their invasion."

                                            >"i think thats all i need Mr. Mous."

                                            >"thank you for your time."

                                            *click*