GREEN   181   0
   4800   29.51 KB   375

[FR] Straya Day in 'Questria

By Brownee
Created: 18th December 2020 01:07:13 AM
4th October 2022 10:30:26 PM

  1. My Canadian proofreader would like to stress "I tried to correct spelling and inconsistencies, but apparently it makes sense in Upside-Down land."
  2. He also corrected that quote when I showed him... dick.
  3.  
  4. Keep this handy for when you get confused - http://www.koalanet.com.au/australian-slang.html
  5. -----------------
  6. >You’re Australianon.
  7. >You suddenly find yourself being awoken from your sleep, your senses tellin’ ya it’s that day.
  8. >The greatest fuckin’ day ever.
  9. >26th of January.
  10. >Australia Day.
  11. >You open ya window and look out on Ponyville before you shout your excitement to the world.
  12. “STRAYAAAA!!!!”
  13. >Shuttin’ the window, you reach under your bed and pull out your Straya Day supplies.
  14. >Today you’re gonna do something.
  15. >You hate all these fuckin’ ponies surrounding ya.
  16. >Damn near all of them constantly try to flirt with ya, stalk ya…
  17. >They really came across as ‘rapey’ a couple times, too.
  18. >You’re apparently quite a sight to them.
  19. >You think it’s the Dundee Effect: you’re an Aussie in a place where nobody has seen one.
  20. >It makes them easily impressed and fascinated by you.
  21. >But today... you’re gonna take a chance.
  22. >Today is the day to give less of a fuck, while givin’ a fuck at the same time.
  23. >Gotta love Strayan logic.
  24. >The majority of these items were specially made, some of ‘em by your own hand.
  25. >First of all, the Australian flag.
  26. >It’s not Australia Day without some fuckwit walkin’ around with one tied around his neck like a cape.
  27. >You’ll take the responsibility for that ‘cause you’re the only Aussie here.
  28. >Next up, the crocodile tooth necklace.
  29. >You got the tooth from that forest all the ponies are afraid of.
  30. >Zecora had a couple.
  31. >Weird Zebra, she is.
  32. >She takes issue with how you speak, but doesn’t seem to notice she’s always speakin’ in rhymes.
  33. >All you did was call her a sick cunt; the fuck is wrong with that?
  34. >Clothing for the day: blue singlet, khaki shorts and a pair of thongs.
  35. >Lastly, the case of XXXX GOLD in a medium sized esky.
  36. >It took you so long to find a proper good beer in this land.
  37. >Sure, you found some piss water you could relate to Tooheys or VB, but none compared to XXXX.
  38. >When you finally found something that tasted exactly like it somewhere South woop woop, you bought as much of this shit as you could and made the XXXX GOLD logo to throw over it.
  39. >If they have a problem with copyright infringement across dimensions or whatever, they can run at ya.
  40. >There’s also about 8 jars of vegemite that you got from the same people as your beer… not that they called it that, or that they knew why you wanted it.
  41. >You grab a bag and throw ‘em all in, as well as a few extra items like face paint, corks for no reason and some inflatable kangaroos and thongs you got from a place in Canto on special order.
  42. >It took some time just to describe what those things looked like for them so they could get ‘em made.
  43. >Now you’re prepared.
  44. >Time to spread the joy of this fan-bloody-tastic day with everyone.
  45. >You head down stairs with the esky in hand, makin’ for the freezer.
  46. >Ya grab a few bags of ice you bought from some Pegasus sellin’ the good shit straight out of snow clouds.
  47. >Ya throw ‘em in the esky with your beer, then move to the front door, slingin’ it open…
  48. >…and the yellow bitch is there again.
  49. “Bloody hell, Flutta, what do ya want?”
  50. >You step past her for a moment and notice it’s stinkin’ hot.
  51. >.........GREAT!
  52. >“Uh-umm… I-I was wondering… if hot days were your fetish… we could have hot, sweaty sex… if you’d like, that is…”
  53. >The rest of ‘em you can tolerate because they come out and say what they want…
  54. >This bitch just cowers all the time.
  55. “Crikey, Fluttashy, harden the fuck up will ya! You’ll do everyone a favour if you cut the shit and get it out! And nah, I’m not gonna root ya, regardless of how hot it is. Piss off!”
  56. >You turn away from her and start heading in the direction of town.
  57. >Some whimpering and sobbing can be heard behind you… you made her cry, again.
  58. >Normally you wouldn’t give a shit, but today…
  59. >You sigh.
  60. “Fuck my life… Flutta!”
  61. >She looks up at you.
  62. “It just so happens I’m plannin’ on doin’ somethin’ today, so you can come with if ya want.”
  63. >She immediately perks up and starts fluttering over to you, eyes on your crotch the whole time.
  64. “But I swear to my Lord and Saviour, Steve Irwin, that if you try anything I will fuckin’ glass you!”
  65. >You’re pretty sure she has no idea what that means, but she stops down and walks beside you.
  66. >First things first, you gotta go see the purple one that spends so much time trying to understand your language.
  67. >Like most Aussies, you kinda make up words as you go without realising, but she doesn’t know that.
  68. >Eventually you started doin’ it on purpose.
  69. >Fuckin’ hilarious.
  70. >As you start thinking of how you’ll describe the day you’re planning, you suddenly feel something between your legs.
  71. >Fluttashy is pressing her muzzle right under your balls through your shorts behind ya as you walk.
  72. “The fuck did I just say?!”
  73. >She ‘eep’s and drops back a few steps.
  74. >“I-I can’t help it… you just smell so… manly today…”
  75. >Oh yeah, you forgot to shower this morning.
  76. >You must smell like man stink from a hot morning.
  77. >Ah well, you’ll fix it later.
  78. >Right now, you’re wondering why it’s so hot.
  79. >This place is all Northern Hemisphere-like, so it should be winter and snowing and shit.
  80. “Why is it so warm today? Not that I’m complaining because it’s fuckin’ perfect, but still.”
  81. >She catches up to walk by your side again.
  82. >“I don’t know… I was on my way to see Twilight about that, but then I heard you scream out your window and had to come to see if you were alright… and see if heat was your fet-”
  83. “You did NOT have to do that first!”
  84. >How does that even make sense to her?
  85. >You walk in silence after yelling at her again, making your way to the library until she speaks up again a short distance away.
  86. >“What are we doing today?”
  87. “Well, despite how I can’t stand you all for tryin’ to get at me donger, I decided to celebrate this day with ya’s because doing it alone is fuckin’ boring and sad… not that I’ll really know when I get pissed later, but it’s not a day to be a prick, so whatever.”
  88. >She looks a little happy at the mention of celebrating the day, but that turns to a look of confusion.
  89. >“What day is it?”
  90. >You push open the door to the Library without knocking, ‘cause technically it’s a public library so you shouldn’t have to knock.
  91. “It’s Austra-”
  92. >“ANON!”
  93. >Ah shit, the purple bitch heard ya.
  94. >Aaaand now she’s flyin’ full speed towards you.
  95. >She dives at you, knockin’ ya to the ground and standing over you in a panicked state.
  96. >Your beer better not be shaken from that impact!
  97. >“ANON! IT’S TERRIBLE! THE PRINCESS!”
  98. “Settle the fuck down, Twilight! What’s wrong?!”
  99. >She takes a deep breath in an effort to calm down, though her expression doesn’t change.
  100. >“PRINCESS CELESTIA IS SICK!”
  101. >…
  102. >…
  103. >…
  104. “So?”
  105. >“SO?! THAT’S WHY IT’S SO HOT TODAY! IT’S CAUSING HER POWER OVER THE SUN TO FLUCTUATE!”
  106. >Goddamn, you really do not give a shit.
  107. >You shimmy out from under her and stand up, headin’ to her kitchen while she keeps yelling and panicking.
  108. >You don’t understand a thing she’s sayin’, nor you do you really give a shit.
  109. >You just calmly keep saying “yep” while she paces and flies around the main room of the library.
  110. >You grab her loaf of bread, take two slices and put a layer of vegemite over both sides, sandwiching them.
  111. >You cut it in half and casually walk back out to the panicked Twilight, who’d noticed your absence and started panicking towards Fluttashy instead.
  112. >As she starts hovering in the air again, spouting something about her probably needing to take over royal duties for a while, you grab her by the wing.
  113. >She drops back to the floor again and looks up at you, but before she can say anything, you stuff one of the half-sandwiches in her mouth.
  114. >“ANON, WHAT AR- MMMmmm…”
  115. >You take a bite of your own half.
  116. >Good ol’ vegemite and its surprisingly effective calming effect on horses.
  117. >Probly ‘cause of all the vitamins and shit in it.
  118. “Righto, let’s try again… What’s wrong?”
  119. >She chews a few times, swallows and takes another deep breath.
  120. >“Princess Celestia is ill, and it’s causing her power over the sun to act up. It’s producing more heat than it should this time of year, as you can see from the lack of snow outside.”
  121. “I noticed. It’s fuckin’ great. That’s why I came here, anyway. Get everybody, we’re goin’ to the beach.”
  122. >She just blinks at your statement.
  123. >“Wha-… Great?! Beach?! Anon, this is serious! The Princess is so sick; what if she wants me to take over things for her in Canterlot?! I don’t know if I’m ready for that kind of responsibility!”
  124. “Yeah, nah. You’re comin’ to the beach.”
  125. >She looks at you bluntly.
  126. >“You can’t be serious!”
  127. “Oi, you’re the one constantly buggin’ me to learn more about my people, so this is your chance. Today’s Australia Day! I am offering to actually spend time with you cunts, so we’re going to the fuckin’ beach and disregarding any of the world’s problems to have a barbecue!”
  128. >Not that there’s much to throw on the damn barbie, you’d been living vegetarian since ya got here.
  129. >Twilight is just glaring at you and looking about ready to give you another earbashing.
  130. >As she opens her mouth to try again, you quickly stuff your half of the sandwich in her mouth.
  131. >She “mmm”s again and slowly drops to the floor.
  132. >Fluttashy moves closer to look her over…
  133. >You just stand there scratching your head.
  134. “Crikey... it’s like she’s gettin’ drunk off it. Was only supposed to calm her down.”
  135. >“Is she going to be alright?”
  136. “Yeah, back home you could feed a horse half a vegemite sandwich to settle it down for a while, and she’s ha-… oh shit, she’s smaller than a horse and I just gave her a full sandwich…”
  137. >Well, at least that’ll shut her up for a while.
  138. >Fluttashy tries to roll Twilight on her side, who in turn just giggles at nothing and flops over completely.
  139. >You kneel down and lift her head up so she looks at you.
  140. >“Mmmm… Anooooon… Did I ever tell you how much I like youuuuuu?”
  141. “You can’t seriously be drunk.”
  142. >“Naaaaah, I never touch that stuff…”
  143. “Yeah, but vegemite is made from yeast extract and is really sal- …ya know what, doesn’t matter. Celly is gonna be fine, you're comin' to the beach to take your mind off it.”
  144. >Her eyes just kinda drift around in her head.
  145. >“Mmm… I’m on a cloud…”
  146. >What?
  147. >Good God, you really buggered her.
  148. >Well, she said she wants to go, so you pick her up and throw her over ya shoulder, her arse beside your head while she slumps down your back.
  149. >She’d better not ruin your flag cape.
  150. >As you carry her towards the door, you grab your esky in your other hand again.
  151. “Flutta, grab me bag, will ya?”
  152. >She does so, putting it on her back and following you out.
  153. >You close the door and proceed down the road, carrying a purple Alicorn over your shoulder.
  154. >“Anoooon… you swear a lot…”
  155. “I know. My dad was a bogan.”
  156. >“I kinda like iiit…”
  157. “No you don’t.”
  158. >“Yes I doooo… and you have a niiice… butt…”
  159. >You can feel her hooves patting and pressing on your arse.
  160. “Please stop touchin’ my bum.”
  161. >She giggles drunkenly in response.
  162. >“Noooo… this butt must be mine…!”
  163. “Twilight, you’ve had far more salt than I should’ve given you by accident. Just relax.”
  164. >“I am a Princess of Equestria and I demand this ass…!”
  165. >You just sigh and shake your head.
  166. “You’re not gonna be like them and start stalkin’ me or anything, are ya? ‘Cause you were annoying enough with the constant questions, I really don’t need that on top of it.”
  167. >“…Noooooo… I respect you…”
  168. “‘Cause ya know, I kinda live in fear of the day you’d suddenly decide to start doin’ what the yellow bitch beside me does…”
  169. >“…Noooooo… I’d never do that… I respect this butt!”
  170. >She keeps pattin’ your arse.
  171. >This’ll be a fun day…
  172.  
  173.  
  174. >You made your way through town, stoppin’ at Sugar-Wadjamacallit, Raraty’s place, the apple farm and wherever the fuck Rainbow was sleepin’.
  175. >All this time, you were still carryin’ Twilight… you think she probly fell asleep.
  176. >Flutta had taken a couple steps behind to try and copy her, touchin’ your bum and trying to blame it on Twilight when you yelled at her.
  177. >Each of the other four had their own bloody comments on your appearance, your donger, and the fact that the heat is really affectin’ their parts and that they needed some attention.
  178. >Honestly, you’re starting to forget why you’re bothering to invite these fuckin’ ponies out.
  179. >It didn’t take much convincing. You told Pinko you were havin’ a party at the beach, Rainbow that you had a bet for her, Raraty that you’ll probably be shirtless by the end of the day and Applejack to just stop worryin’ about her fuckin’ apples and come with.
  180. >You also grabbed a few loaves of bread in town for more sandwiches to use up all this vegemite.
  181. >You’re all heading out of town, somewhere West to this beach that Pinko knows.
  182. >As you’re walking, Twilight begins to stir.
  183. >“Muurghhhh……AHH! Where am I?!”
  184. >Pinkie bounces behind you to talk to her.
  185. >“Anon’s taking us to the beach to celebrate a holiday from his home!”
  186. >Twilight slumps back down over your shoulder.
  187. >“Oh. He’s still set on that… okay then.”
  188. >Well, she got over the whole “sick Princess” thing pretty quickly.
  189. >Wonder if she even remembers it.
  190. >You drop her down on the ground and she starts walking with everyone else.
  191. >Raraty moves up to your side.
  192. >“Anonymous, I wouldn’t mind if you’d carry me in your big, strong arms like that.”
  193. “Eat a dick, Raraty.”
  194. >“Mmm, I’d be happy to, darling.”
  195. >Ah jeez, this is just going to get more annoying.
  196. >You look over at Applejack, who’s quietly walking under Rainbow, and you get an idea when you see her hat.
  197. “Applejack…”
  198. >“Yeah?”
  199. “…What the fuck are you wearin’?”
  200. >“Huh?”
  201. “Your hat.”
  202. >“What about it?”
  203. “Why’s it like that?”
  204. >“Why’s it like what?” she replies defensively. “It’s like ah always have it…”
  205. “Exactly. Where are the bloody corks?!”
  206. >“Wha…?”
  207. >Truthfully, nobody wears that piece of headwear in your homeland, but it’s fuckin’ iconic and this is too good an opportunity to waste.
  208. “It is fucking Australia Day, so you should be wearing that hat with corks hanging from it!”
  209. >“What’re ya talkin’ about, Anon?”
  210. “Today is the day of my country or something, and I’m celebrating it! I’m celebrating it with you lot! We’re goin’ to the fuckin’ beach for it, and YOU are gonna hang some bloody corks from your hat!”
  211. >“Where am ah’ supposed to get corks from?!”
  212. “I have an emergency stash in my bag! Raraty! Attach this shit to her hat!”
  213. >They’re all just looking at you in confusion.
  214. >You’re yelling about such a little issue… and their expressions are priceless.
  215. >You barely manage to hold back a laugh.
  216. >Everything is interrupted when Rainbow yells a warning from overhead.
  217. >“Cockatrice!”
  218. >Immediately, they all snap to attention and dive at the ground covering their eyes.
  219. >You’re just standing there watching them, wondering what the hell just happened.
  220. >Fluttashy speaks up when she sees you’re still standing there.
  221. >“Anon! Get down! There’s a cockatrice over there!”
  222. “Aye?”
  223. >You look ahead of you, and in the path is some kind of chicken… lizard… thing.
  224. “What, the chicken?”
  225. >Twilight peeks from behind her hoof at you as well, whispering desperately.
  226. >“It’s not a chicken, Anon! It’s a cockatrice! It’ll turn you to stone if you make eye contact!”
  227. >Hearing that, you exert every ounce of panic you can at the sight of this incredible danger.
  228. “Oh yeah? Fuck.”
  229. >Pinkie looks up at you as well.
  230. >“Nonny, it’s dangerous! Get down before it sees you!”
  231. >Well, Twilight said herself what’ll happen… there's an easy way around this.
  232. >Time to channel your inner Steve Irwin.
  233. >You set your esky down on the ground next to them.
  234. “You all seriously need to harden the fuck up. Look, imma go grab its tail and tickle its balls.”
  235. >They all look up at you in shock, and Twilight begins yelling at you.
  236. >“Anon, don’t!”
  237. “Fuckin’ relax! Crikey... I’m just gonna get it out of the way! Calm your tits!”
  238. >Despite all their urgin’ for you to come back, you ignore them.
  239. >You approach the cockie at a casual pace, not really hiding the fact that you’re sneaking up behind it.
  240. >It notices you and immediately attempts to look you in the eye.
  241. >You don’t pay attention to its face.
  242. >You just look past it as you get closer… and kick it up the arse.
  243. “Piss off, ya little bastard!”
  244. >It clucks and bawks in a panicked state and runs off.
  245. >You turn back to the six ponies, all of ‘em gobsmacked at what you just did.
  246. “What the fuck was so hard about that?!”
  247. >You make your way back to them, pick up your esky and start walking again.
  248. >They catch up to you and Rainbow asks the question on all their minds.
  249. >“Anon… how did you do that?!”
  250. “It’s pretty simple: don’t make eye contact with it!”
  251. >Fluttashy floats up to hug you from behind.
  252. >“My hero...”
  253. “Get the fuck off me…”
  254. >Pinkie bounces alongside you.
  255. >“It’s true, Nonny! Especially with your flag cape! You’re an Australian Hero!”
  256. “I was just thinkin' of Steve Irwin, a real Aussie hero, and went for it. Fuckin’ legend… Rest in Peace, Stevo.”
  257. >As they watch you mourn a legend, Raraty speaks up.
  258. >“Does your world have wild life like that, Anonymous? It was pretty brave to just walk up to a cockatrice.”
  259. “Woman, fuckin’ everything in my country tries to kill ya. The tiniest bloody spider is probably the most venomous. It’s the ideal place for anyone to go if they wanna harden the fuck up.”
  260. >You spend the rest of the walk tellin’ ‘em the stories of the mighty Irwin, who played dangerously close to crocs and unfortunately passed on ‘cause of a fuckin’ stingray, of all things…
  261.  
  262.  
  263. >A little bit later, you’d found the beach and immediately settled in a decent position, layin’ in the sand, beer in hand.
  264. >First things first, you gave the corks to Raraty who immediately got to work on attaching them to Applejack’s hat.
  265. >Best fuckin’ useless joke ever.
  266. >Applejack looks ridiculous.
  267. >The extra supplies you’d brought with ya consisted of some paints.
  268. >You mentioned how so many Aussies would paint their faces and such for the day, and they were keen to do the same thing.
  269. >You did it all just because ya knew what they looked like.
  270. >Twilight got 2 Aussie flags on her cheeks…
  271. >Pinkie got the rough shape of the country painted in green on her face with blue surrounding it…
  272. >Rainbow got the same thing but in green and gold…
  273. >Applejack got the full Aussie flag across her face…
  274. >…and Fluttashy insisted you put your dick in her face, so you painted a massive dick on her face with ‘Straya’ written across it.
  275. >Raraty was the only one to refuse a painting... you’ll get that bitch later.
  276. >You took the inflatable thongs and kangaroos out of your bag as well.
  277. >Pinkie was pretty keen to help you blow ‘em up…
  278. >Now she, Fluttashy and Applejack are relaxing on a couple thongs in the water, Raraty is tryin’ to sunbathe for whatever reason and you’re sittin’ up next to the esky and the blow up ‘roos with Twilight and Rainbow.
  279. “Alright, Rainbow, this is the bet... you chug cider like it’s nothin’ so I’m gonna challenge you to drink more beer than me.”
  280. >“Bring it.”
  281. >You take a couple bottles from the esky and give her one.
  282. >Opening yours, you take a mighty swig and catch the sound of her spitting.
  283. >“BLERGH! This stuff is terrible!”
  284. >Fuckin’ shit, she’s wasting perfectly good beer!
  285. “Alright, screw the bet! Just drink that!”
  286. >“What?”
  287. “You ain’t wasting it! Drink it!”
  288. >“But-”
  289. “DRINK!”
  290. >”I don’t want to!”
  291. “Rainbow, drink that fucker or I’ll be callin’ you a soft cunt forever!”
  292. >She furrows her brow, annoyed at you, but does so anyway, takin’ little pissy sips.
  293. >As she does so, Twilight turns to you.
  294. >“So what is this ‘Australia Day’ about anyway?”
  295. “I dunno.”
  296. >She raises an eyebrow at you.
  297. >You just take another chug of your beer.
  298. >“If it means so much to you, how can you not know what it’s about?”
  299. “Well, I think it’s when my country was founded, or maybe when the first bunch of people arrived, I can’t remember. Honestly, all people do is have barbecues and drink and play footy or whatever. Nobody really talks about what it means, we just celebrate it ‘cause why the fuck not. Just a day to stop giving a shit what the rest of the world is doing, which we barely did anyway, and just celebrate who we are and where we are… by drinkin’ and often doing stupid shit.”
  300. >She nods, taking it all in.
  301. >“Okay, that makes sense, I guess. You’re just being yourselves, more than usual, on a specific day which just happens to possibly be when your land was founded. We sort of do the same thing on Hearth’s Warming Eve, but it comes with another meaning besides the founding of Equestria.”
  302. “Yeah, but most of what you do that day is what we do on Christmas. Today we just… fuck everything. I mean, the native Australians randomly tried to go against it and called it ‘Invasion Day’ or somethin', but to most Aussies, it wasn’t really addressed ‘cause we were likely too pissed to care.”
  303. >Now she’s just lookin’ at ya, unamused.
  304. >“I’m starting to think you don’t actually know anything about the day and only celebrate it as an excuse to go drink at the beach.”
  305. “Deadset.”
  306. >You chuckle to yourself, drinking more, and Twilight just sighs.
  307. “Still though, despite my own celebrations, I recognise that I am also a massive prick towards ya’s, even though I have perfectly reasonable… reasons… to be. So today I’m ignorin’ that because I should celebrate it with others, rather than be a massive wanker… though you’re all still annoyin’ the fuck out of me, so it’s not really changin’.”
  308. >You toss your bottle to the side and grab another one from the esky.
  309. >Twilight just glances around nervously.
  310. >“We’re… sorry about that… but you’re a very interesting and unique individual… it’s really hard not to find the things you do attractive. I mean, the way you just faced down that cockatrice without a care earlier…”
  311. “I’m not gonna root a horse, alright? You lot can move on.”
  312. >She looks down, disappointed.
  313. >…
  314. >Well, much as you don’t really give a shit about what she’s feeling, you may as well at least prove your point that you’re trying to be nicer.
  315. >You take a jar of vegemite and some bread, making another sandwich and handing it to her.
  316. “Get this up ya.”
  317. >She just smiles at your offer, accepting it happily.
  318.  
  319.  
  320. >The rest of the afternoon and evening consisted of you making the vegemite sandwiches for everyone.
  321. >Only went through a jar or two.
  322. >You spent some time in the water, playin’ around with them… relaxin’ on the thongs…
  323. >…even picked up Raraty and threw her in the water.
  324. >That’s what happens when she doesn’t want a fuckin’ Strayan face paint!
  325. >As you downed more beer, they got a few sandwiches in them.
  326. >They really fuckin’ love that vegemite...
  327. >…gotta be all the salt.
  328. >It’s making them go off their face.
  329. >Not like you can talk; whatever was happening to them from the sandwiches is happening to you from the beer.
  330. >You took it slow just to last the evening, and you only gave them a few sandwiches.
  331. >At some point, someone, probably Applejack, started a fire somewhere, but you were too pissed to know when or how.
  332. >Either way, Twilight insisted on knowing more of what your people do, so you taught them just that.
  333. >The chant.
  334. >You started it, they followed it in unison.
  335. “AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE!
  336. >“OI OI OI!”
  337.  
  338.  
  339. >You wake up the next mornin’, hung over as fuuuuuck.
  340. >The sun is like someone punchin’ your brain in the balls.
  341. >There’s a certain point where everything you remember about last night just kind of stops, though you recall at some point you ran across the beach with your singlet over your head yelling “STRAYAAAA!”
  342. >You try to bring an arm up to cover your eyes before you scream, but you realise you can’t feel it.
  343. >You suddenly notice there’s a scent of vegemite and… what you hope to hell isn’t sex, in the air.
  344. >…and you realise you’re not wearin’ your shorts anymore…
  345. >You lift your head to find the source of these things and are met by a sleeping Twilight: face on your chest, drooling, with her body going over and off your left shoulder.
  346. >You’re about to go off at her, but your right hand is free and you feel something.
  347. >Raraty and Applejack are laying in the sand next to you, Applejack’s face in-between Raraty’s legs…
  348. >Surrounding them, and yourself, are the bunch of beer bottles you had… but also at least eight empty jars of vegemite.
  349. >…
  350. >…oh shit, they got into them…
  351. >And… yep… a closer look shows Raraty and Twilight have some around their mouths.
  352. >You take another look at Applejack and see under her face that Raraty’s lower body has vegemite spread all over it…
  353. >You cringe at the thought.
  354. >Your other hand is still unaccounted for, so you try sitting up a little more to look over Twilight’s head.
  355. >Pinkie is laying over your arm, vegemite smeared all over her mouth…
  356. >Right where your hand is, Rainbow is laying on her stomach, your fingers just resting under her vagina with your fingers touching it.
  357. >…
  358. >…you’ll cut off the hand later.
  359. >Still one pony not accounted for…
  360. >You look down to find the reason you’re missin’ your shorts.
  361. >…
  362. >Course…
  363. >Right between your legs, Fluttashy’s head is resting on your thigh, really close to your old fella.
  364. >…and he’s got some traces of vegemite around him.
  365. >You drop your head back down and cry internally.
  366. >They took advantage of you spending time with them and getting drunk to have a vegemite orgy with you involved…
  367. >You’re fuckin spewin’.
  368. >The thought of it makes you want to have a tehcnicolour yawn, and it certainly turns you off completely from vegemite again…
  369. >…but unfortunately, it’s too early to give a fuck.
  370. >The sun is still stabbing your head.
  371. >You just lay there, stonkered.
  372. >They ruined any possibility of looking back on that Australia day with fondness.
  373. >You reach your right hand over to grab Applejack’s hat, covering your face with it as you quietly whisper:
  374. “You’re all fuckin’ cunts…”
  375. >Fuckin’ ‘Questria.

[FR] Pain in the arse Part 2

by Brownee

[FR] Pain in the arse

by Brownee

[EQG Fingerbang] Stressed Melody

by Brownee

[FR] Straya Day in 'Questria 2

by Brownee

[FR] Straya Day in 'Questria

by Brownee