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Anon The Biologist Gets Too Curious About Applejack's Cloaca Part 2

By Guest
Created: 2025-08-04 04:11:07
Expiry: Never
anonapplejacknsfwaiecloacajackscientist

  1. 1.
    Continued from https://ponepaste.org/11258
  2. 2.
     
  3. 3.
    >The orange quadruped walking towards you
  4. 4.
    >You try not to make eye contact
  5. 5.
    >Which is hard because of how big its big green eyes are
  6. 6.
    >The creature stops walking and vocalizes
  7. 7.
    >"Howdy"
  8. 8.
    >You just stare
  9. 9.
    >"You must be the visitor Twilight was tellin' me about. Pleased to meet ya, my name's Applejack"
  10. 10.
    >Your eyes widen
  11. 11.
    >"You okay?"
  12. 12.
    "How are you speaking English?"
  13. 13.
    >"What's Ing-lish?"
  14. 14.
    "The language you're speaking. The one I'm speaking"
  15. 15.
    >"We're speaking Ponish right now, not Ing-lish!"
  16. 16.
    >You sit there and stare, confused
  17. 17.
    >"So what brings you to Sweet Apple Acres?"
  18. 18.
    >You think it's best not to reveal how you got here, just in case
  19. 19.
    "I dunno"
  20. 20.
    >"You don't know?"
  21. 21.
    "Uh, can I leave?"
  22. 22.
    >"Why would you wanna leave? You haven't tried our new apple lime cobbler recipe!"
  23. 23.
    "Okay"
  24. 24.
    >"Haha, I knew it!"
  25. 25.
    >Applejack takes off with terrific speed, leaving behind speed trails and a puff of smoke
  26. 26.
    >This really is a cartoon world
  27. 27.
    >You decide to stand up, and in doing so, look down at your hands for the first time since arriving
  28. 28.
    >Your now cartoon hands
  29. 29.
    >What the-
  30. 30.
    >Well that disproves a few theories
  31. 31.
    >Actually no, if the light polarizes and-
  32. 32.
    >Applejack returns with a picnic table and zooms off again
  33. 33.
    >You decide to watch
  34. 34.
    >After all, it's not everyday you get to witness cartoon physics in action
  35. 35.
    >You think you're the first human being to experience such a thing when suddenly you remember the geek
  36. 36.
    >Applejack had said, "You must be the visitor Twilight was tellin' me about."
  37. 37.
    >Okay, so you're the second human being to witness cartoon physics first hand
  38. 38.
    >Apparently the geek arrived much earlier event though the two of you went through the vortex just a few seconds apart
  39. 39.
    >Applejack returns again with bowls, cutlery, and a pan with a delicious-smelling apple lime cobbler
  40. 40.
    >It's too late to refuse to eat and you need to figure out where you are, so you eat some cartoon cobbler as you chat with your new otherworldly acquaintance
  41. 41.
    >You try to learn about whatever-this-place is without revealing too much about early twenty-first century Earth
  42. 42.
    >Like that matters, the geek has a big mouth anyway
  43. 43.
    >Applejack figures out that you're not the same being Twilight spoke with, whoever Twilight is
  44. 44.
    >Apparently this world is called "Equestria" and Applejack is a "pony"
  45. 45.
    >Nonsense. Ponies don't have cloacae, nor do their front teeth reach all the way to their back teeth, nor do they have double-jointed forelimbs which get larger towards their hooves, nor are their eyes so large and their nostrils so small, nor do they speak English, nor do they...
  46. 46.
    >Applejack finishes eating her serving and gets back to work
  47. 47.
    >You're not finished with the conversation though
  48. 48.
    >As Applejack continues to kick apple trees, you try to learn more about cartoon physics from her
  49. 49.
    "How do you get the apples to always land in the baskets?"
  50. 50.
    >"Uh, I put the baskets under the tree and give it a kick, like this!"
  51. 51.
    >THOK!! TH-THUMP-THUMP!!
  52. 52.
    >Once again every apple lands in the baskets
  53. 53.
    "Why don't any land to the side or bounce out?"
  54. 54.
    >"Because gravity pulls them down"
  55. 55.
    "But the ones that land towards the top, the angle of impact would push some of them sideways"
  56. 56.
    >"And gravity is still pulling them down. Does your world have variable gravity or something?"
  57. 57.
    >This conversation is going nowhere
  58. 58.
    >Of course. To a cartoon being, cartoon physics aren't cartoon physics. They're simply physics
  59. 59.
    >You ask about Twilight, and about the geek
  60. 60.
    >Applejack gives you directions to a "Golden Oak Library"
  61. 61.
    >You begin your journey to re-unite with the other scientist
  62. 62.
     
  63. 63.
    >You walk though the town of "ponies"
  64. 64.
    >You need to come up with a better name but you left your cladistics book at home
  65. 65.
    >Convergent evolution is certainly at play here
  66. 66.
    >Plus this doesn't seem to be Earth so that complicates it
  67. 67.
    >Anyway
  68. 68.
    >On your way to the library you see a few more of the not-ponies
  69. 69.
    >Most shy away and you try not to stare at them but you're too curious
  70. 70.
    >The majority have a single-colored coat, and a two-colored mane and tail
  71. 71.
    >Some individuals have wings, or a cranial horn
  72. 72.
    >Never both
  73. 73.
    >The adults all have tattooed haunches, like quarter marks
  74. 74.
    >Most buildings have roofs of hay
  75. 75.
    >You're not an architect but that seems like a bad idea
  76. 76.
    >Besides that, if the beings here really were ponies they would eat that
  77. 77.
    >You keep walking in silence until you see a large oak tree with a door on it, per Applejack's description
  78. 78.
    >After what you guess was an hour of walking you knock on the door
  79. 79.
    >The door opens, revealing a purple not-pony with a dark purple eyes, and an indigo mane and tail with rose-colored and dark purple highlights, and a cranial horn
  80. 80.
    >"Another?"
  81. 81.
    "Hi"
  82. 82.
    >"Come on in!"
  83. 83.
    >You enter the library and see the geek sitting at a book-covered table, half-eaten cupcake in hand
  84. 84.
    >Well that's anti-climactic
  85. 85.
    >He looks like a cartoon character now, like what happened to you
  86. 86.
    >"Anon!"
  87. 87.
    >Before you can respond an approximately one-meter tall bipedal purple reptile approaches you and reaches out its right claw
  88. 88.
    >"Welcome to the Golden Oak Library! My name is Spike!"
  89. 89.
    >You carefully shake the Spike's hand -er, claw
  90. 90.
    >Either Spike is warm-blooded or was just sun basking
  91. 91.
    >It's best not to make assumptions, the life here is different
  92. 92.
    >"And my name is Twilight Sparkle! Pleased to meet you!"
  93. 93.
    >Twilight Sparkle extends a hoof for you to shake
  94. 94.
    >You shake the certainly equine hoof
  95. 95.
    >"Would you like something to eat?"
  96. 96.
    "No thanks"
  97. 97.
    >Twilight Sparkle begins asking you questions about you and your world
  98. 98.
    >You try to be evasive but she knows most of the answers anyway
  99. 99.
    >Stupid talkative geek was just giving away humanity's secrets, just like that
  100. 100.
    >While you and Twilight talk the geek chimes in
  101. 101.
    >He arrived here yesterday in a creepy forest, near a hydra
  102. 102.
    >A zebra who spoke only in rhymes noticed his curiosity and directed him here, where he spent the night reading and chatting with Twilight Sparkle until he fell asleep
  103. 103.
    >Oh yeah, and a pink "pony" said she was planning a welcoming party for him, and that it would be tonight
  104. 104.
    >Just then, the front door opens, revealing an excited pink not-pony
  105. 105.
    >"Twilight! I just got off of work and- WHAT THERE'S TWO OF YOU NOW?!"
  106. 106.
    >The pink not-pony bounces about
  107. 107.
    >"Welcome to Equestria! My name is Pinkie Pie! I'll have to make this a super-duper double welcoming party! Oh this is so exciting!"
  108. 108.
    >And blah blah blah
  109. 109.
    >As Pinkie Pie speaks she zooms about, making impossible movements, even hovering in mid-air for brief periods
  110. 110.
    >Before Pinkie Pie finishes yammering she stuffs a strawberry-flavored cupcake in your mouth
  111. 111.
    >She then zooms out the door
  112. 112.
    >Whatever she came here for originally she forgot about
  113. 113.
    >In your brief time here that was the largest amount of obvious toon physics you'd seen
  114. 114.
    >A possible test subject? Hmm
  115. 115.
    >Twilight Sparkle breaks the sudden silence
  116. 116.
    >"That was Pinkie Pie, she acts that way a lot"
  117. 117.
    >You sit at the table as you, the geek, and Twilight Sparkle resume your conversation
  118. 118.
    >You ended up telling the two of them your story of what happened after entering the portal
  119. 119.
    >Which was pretty much that you met Applejack at Sweet Apple Acres and walked here
  120. 120.
    >And the conversation leads to teleportation
  121. 121.
    >Twilight Sparkle offers to demonstrate
  122. 122.
    >With a flash of light she vanishes, re-appearing on he opposite side of the room a second later
  123. 123.
    >She then disappears a second time, re-appearing where she was before she started, an unfamiliar and strange scent in the air
  124. 124.
    >You sit in silent disbelief. The geek smirks
  125. 125.
    >The conversation continues
  126. 126.
    >As you suspected, toon physics aren't toon physics here. They're simply "physics"
  127. 127.
    >And in addition, there is yet another force, which the not-ponies call "magic"
  128. 128.
    >"Magic" is commonplace here yet nearly anything the not-ponies consider unusual is the result of this "magic"
  129. 129.
    >Getting squashed flat? Normal
  130. 130.
    >Teleportation? Magic
  131. 131.
    >Levitation? Magic
  132. 132.
    >Winged flight? Magic
  133. 133.
    >Wingless hovering? Normal
  134. 134.
    >Holding items in a hoof? Normal
  135. 135.
    >Anything a wingless hornless not-pony does, no matter how absurd? Normal
  136. 136.
    >Any hypotheses you invent are shut down by Twilight Sparkle's strong beliefs about magic
  137. 137.
    >You state that you actually would like something to eat, if only to get her to leave for a bit
  138. 138.
    >Twilight Sparkle and Spike head towards the kitchen
  139. 139.
    >You use a quill pen to brainstorm some hypotheses in the margins of a book
  140. 140.
    >The geek points out how the scent from Twilight Sparkle's teleportation matched the scent from when he was pulled in
  141. 141.
    >You can't confirm, since you were screaming and thus exhaling on the way into this world
  142. 142.
    >You ramble about toon biology as you scribble in the expensive-looking book, crossing out hypotheses and drawing connections between them
  143. 143.
    >Twilight Sparkle and Spike return with a plate of hamburgers(?) before Twilight walks to the other side of the room to organize some books
  144. 144.
    >You tell the geek that these things can't be horses due to various reasons, including their cloacae
  145. 145.
    >The geek doesn't know what cloacae are
  146. 146.
    >You explain how a cloaca is a singular orifice and what it's used for
  147. 147.
    >"Uh, I don't think that's a cloaca"
  148. 148.
    >He says as he points towards Twilight Sparkle's vagina and anus
  149. 149.
    >What the-
  150. 150.
    >But Applejack has-
  151. 151.
    >Suddenly, a hypothesis
  152. 152.
    "Didn't you mention seeing a hydra when you first got to this world?"
  153. 153.
    >"Yep"
  154. 154.
    "And you were behind it?"
  155. 155.
    >"Yep"
  156. 156.
    "Did it have a cloaca?"
  157. 157.
    >"I didn't think to look, I just found out about those things now, remember?
  158. 158.
    "Well, it would be expected to have one, being a reptile"
  159. 159.
    >"Why all this about genitalia?"
  160. 160.
    "I may have found a breakthrough in your teleportation research"
  161. 161.
    >"Tell me more"
  162. 162.
    "Applejack had a cloaca and I wound up behind her. The hydra probably had a cloaca and you wound up behind it. This scent from Twilight Sparkle's teleportation, and that you said was present on your way in, may be a chemical which channels the teleportation force, merely an aspect of what the not-ponies call magic"
  163. 163.
    >"Keep going"
  164. 164.
    "Your theory that toons tap into the teleportation force via the toon force, that's what Applejack and the hydra did via their cloacae. Twilight Sparkle generates the chemical via an aspect of magic, whereas Applejack and the hydra generate it through specialized cloacal glands, since it is just a chemical"
  165. 165.
    >"That's... a theory"
  166. 166.
    >A theory you are oh-so eager to test
  167. 167.
    >Tonight at the party, you are going to find Applejack
  168. 168.
    >And you are going to sniff her cloaca

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