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Anarchy in Equestria - A Panty & Stocking w/Garterbelt Parody (November 27th 2014)

By EQA
Created: 18th December 2020 03:40:07 AM

  1. >"O pitiful shadow lost in the darkness,"
  2. >"O evil spirit born of those drifting between Heaven and Earth,"
  3. >"May the thunderous power from the garments of these holy, delicate maidens strike down upon you with great vengeance and furious anger, shattering your loathsome impurity and returning you from whence you came!"
  4. >"Repent, motherfuck-AHHH!!!"
  5. >"WoooOOOAAAHHHHHhhhh!!! PAAAAAANTY! I think I'm gonna be sick!"
  6. >"Stocki-! URRRF..."
  7. >"I wanna get off this riiiIII-III-IIIIIDE!"
  8.  
  9. >"Oof!"
  10. >"Stocking... get your fat ass off of me!"
  11. >"Pchuu. Yuck."
  12. >"What the fuck happened back there!? Stocking?"
  13. >"Mmnn. We didn't get any heavens."
  14. >"What?!"
  15. >"We also appear to be lost. Hmmnnnnn... oah."
  16. >"Hm? What are you pointing at? Oh WOW! Now that's one fancy motherfucking castle!"
  17. >"Lemme guess. We're gonna check it out and you're gonna get acquainted with the prince."
  18. >"Neehee~ Stocking, you know me so well~ ara ara~!"
  19. >"You're disgusting."
  20. >"You too, sweetie."
  21.  
  22. >Equestria
  23. >A land filled with technicolour ponies and various other creatures of all shapes and sizes.
  24. >You may think to yourself, 'Wow! This place is great! Fantasy, adventure, action and beautiful sights to see!'
  25. >And you know what? YOU'D BE ABSOLUTELY, GOD-DAMNED RIGHT, SON!
  26. >It seems our two, dispicable, young ladies are dilly-dallying about in a place they're not familiar with, whilst I've got to clean up their shit!
  27. >Filthy whores don't stand a chance.
  28.  
  29. >"WAAAHOOOOOOO!"
  30. >The Anarchy sisters rip and tear through the forest in See-Through, making a bee-line for the castle off in the distance.
  31. >"Panty! I'm getting leaves and shit in my hair! At least switch to air mode!"
  32. >"You want air?"
  33. >The blonde reaches for a dial across the dashboard as the hummer continues to smash through trees and foliage.
  34. >She turns the dial clockwise causing a blast of air to whoosh out from the air con.
  35. >"HAHAHAHAHA!"
  36. >Panty can't control her laughter as Stocking desperately reaches for the dial, being held back by the sheer force being put out.
  37. >"WEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
  38. >The hummer breaches from the forest and over a ledge, landing on a dirt path below and pulling a direct 90 degree turn before zipping off.
  39. >Panty grins deviously as she eyes the wonder up ahead, licking her lips hungrily.
  40.  
  41. >You are Princess Celestia and you've just heard a terrible, ripping sound from far away.
  42. "What was that noise?"
  43. >You approach your bedroom balcony, and set up your binocular stand.
  44. >Once set up, you lean your neck down to peer in to the viewport.
  45. "Please-don't-be-another-delivery-please-don't-be-another-delivery-please-don't-be-another-"
  46. >VRR-RRR-RRR-RRR-RRRRR!!!
  47. >BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!
  48. "What... is THAT?"
  49. >Zooming in, using her magic to adjust the sight, you spot an... automobile?
  50. >It's heading straight for the castle at an incredible speed!
  51. >Inside, you see a creature wearing a pair of binoculars, similar to your own, but a hot pink.
  52. >The creature is pulling them down from their face and...
  53. >Squinting.
  54. >Right at her.
  55. >The other one appears to be standing on the bonet and appears to be waving at you.
  56. >No one is at the wheel.
  57. >NO ONE IS AT THE WHEEL!
  58. >You jump and glide towards the castle drawbridge and with your magic, pull up an entrenched, underground passage to prevent the vehicle from colliding with anything and to give the passengers a chance to reign control over their means of transportation.
  59. >However, as the vehicle approaches, you remember what's kept down there.
  60. >STORAGE.
  61. >YOUR PRECIOUS CAKES! NO!
  62.  
  63. >You are Stocking and the large horse you spotted just reappeared in the driver's seat.
  64. >She looks a bit tangled up, but appears to be smashing her hooves against the brakes.
  65. >Wait, shouldn't you be worried for your own safety?!
  66. >Fuck it.
  67.  
  68. >See-Through spirals 'round and 'round in circles as it spins off the dirt path.
  69. >Celestia is desperately clambering on to wheel, whinnying in panic as she finds herself getting dangerously dizzy.
  70. >Panty on the other hand is desperately clinging on to the now-bent window wipers as she's flung around, left and right, with her face smooshing up against the windscreen.
  71. >Eventually, See-Through spins through the air, having gone over a hill and landing in the castle moat.
  72. >The hummer emerges with Celestia and Stocking as they were, with the car now flooded with water.
  73. >Just a ways down by the drawbridge, Panty comes up for air, choking out all the nasty water from her body.
  74. >She flicks the frog that'd found a place on her head across the moat, splattering it against the castle walls.
  75. >Gritting her teeth, she paddles over to the mostly submerged hummer and holds on to the top of the door on the driver's side, where the white alicorn is seated.
  76. >Celestia is nerbously clopping her forehooves together as she looks between the two.
  77. >Stocking, looking dead ahead, nonchalantly.
  78. >Panty, looking her dead in the eyes with gritted teeth.
  79. >'Great job, Celestia', she thinks to herself.
  80. >'Greaaaaat job.'
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