Friendship is Mandatory


                                            >As you land, you stumble, having to take a few more quick steps in order to not faceplant.

                                            >Someday you will figure out how to land gracefully.

                                            >Hopefully.

                                            >But now is not the time to worry about that.

                                            >It has been three weeks and five days since the 'human,' Anonymous, arrived by surprise in Equestria.

                                            >Well, him and his whole house.

                                            >No amount of research has come up with any logical theory how he got here.

                                            >But since then, all he has done is sit in his home and play games on him weird electronic device.

                                            >He hasn't tried making any friends, and you are concerned for him.

                                            >You casually turn the door knob and walk into his home.

                                            >He never locks his door, and he always told you to just come in.

                                            >Rather odd, but you didn't argue.

                                            >"Take that, cocksucker."

                                            >Well, it's obvious he's playing games.

                                            >His language is rather foul when he is immersed in something on his electronic device.

                                            >You walk into his main room, his back turned to you in his lounge chair.

                                            "Hello Anonymous!"

                                            >You get no response from him, as he continues to focus on the screen in front of him.

                                            >You sigh, trotting between him and his screen.

                                            "Hi!"

                                            >"Watch out!"

                                            >You look around in a panic.

                                            "What, what is it?!"

                                            >He drops his remote control object he is holding into his lap.

                                            >"Nevermind, I'm dead. Hi Twilight."

                                            >You turn to look at his screen, showing blood splatters.

                                            >How is something this gruesome fun?

                                            >You shake your head as you turn back to him.

                                            "Sorry about that Anonymous. It's a beautiful day out today, maybe you should take a break from, uh..."

                                            >"Battlefield?"

                                            "Yeah, that game thing."

                                            >He shakes his head, pressing a couple buttons, as the sounds of warfare you are unfamiliar with fill the room again.

                                            >"Nah, I'm good, Twilight. But thanks."

                                            "But Anonymous, you've been here for three weeks and five days and you haven't made any friends! I'm worried about you."

                                            >He laughs, startling you a bit.

                                            >"Don't worry about it. I'm good."

                                            >A loud explosion causes you to jump.

                                            >"Goddamn tanks. Grow a pair, you pussies!"

                                            >That's it.

                                            >You look around his entertainment center, and spot a plug inserted into his wall.

                                            >Concentrating your magic, you pull on it until it slides out of the socket, the room abruptly going silent.

                                            >"What the hell, Twilight?!"

                                            "Come on, you're going to meet some of my friends today."

                                            >Before he can argue, you grab him, levitating him in front of you and out the door.

                                            >"Can I at least walk? I have legs."


                                            >Your first stop is Rarity's boutique in Ponyville, since she is the closest to where Anonymous' home landed.

                                            "This is where my good friend Rarity lives. She is an amazing fashion designer, the best in Equestria I think."

                                            >"Could have fooled me, I haven't seen anyone in this world wearing any sort of clothes."

                                            >You aren't sure whether he realizes how rude that came out, so you cut him some slack as you knock on the door.

                                            "Well, outfits are sort of a special occasion item here in Equestria. You just haven't been out enough to see them."

                                            >"Come iiiiin!"

                                            >Rarity's melodic voice calls out from inside.

                                            >You open the door, holding it for Anonymous to walk through.

                                            >Rarity is seated behind her sewing machine, hard at work on another outfit.

                                            >Hello darling. And Hello, uh... Anonymous, is it?"

                                            >Rarity stops where she is in her work, rising off her stool and walking towards the two of you.

                                            >"Yeah. Just call me Anon."

                                            >"Well Anon, it is a pleasure to meet you. I'm Rarity, and this..."

                                            >She walks in a circle, as if to emphasize her home.

                                            >".... is my boutique!"

                                            >Anonymous looks around at the various clothes racks, fabrics, and spools of thread scattered about the room.

                                            >"It's..... something."

                                            >The room is awkwardly silent for a moment, as everypony seems to wait for another to speak up.

                                            "So Rarity, I understand you were working on something for Anonymous, yes?"

                                            >Rarity perks up, excitement in her voice.

                                            >"Oh, yes darling, right this way!"

                                            >She quickly trots to the next room, you and Anonymous in tow.

                                            >"Wait, how do you even know my measurements to make something for me?"

                                            >"I just measured you while you were sleeping, darling!"

                                            >You put a hoof to your face.

                                            >Why in Equestria did she tell the truth?

                                            >"Okay. That's not creepy at all."

                                            >Rarity seems to not notice, her mind focused on the suit on the rack.

                                            >Stark white with bejeweled lapels and cuffs, it is quite the sight.

                                            "Wow Rarity, you've made a lot of progress in a short time. It's beautiful."

                                            >"Thank you darling. What do you think, Anonymous?"

                                            >He cringes a bit as he remains silent, his eyes seeming to search for something.

                                            >Come on Anonymous.

                                            >You nudge his leg with your shoulder, trying to coax something out of him.

                                            >"If it wasn't for the jewels, I'd say it was okay. Back in my world, that would make me look..... kind of gay."

                                            >You cringe as you wish he would have kept his mouth shut.

                                            >Rarity seems hurt, as she tries to smile anyways.

                                            >"Oh, I see. Well that's all right, I can make changes to it. I, uh... I must get back to work, I do apologize."

                                            >Rarity follows you and Anonymous as you make your way through her home and out the front door.

                                            "Um, good luck with your work Rarity. Sorry to bother you."

                                            >"It's quite alright dear. You two enjoy the day!"

                                            >After she closes the door and the two of you walk away, you scowl at Anonymous.

                                            >He is going to make a friend today, whether he is willing or not.

                                            >A rainbow colored flash in the sky catches your eye.

                                            "Rainbow Dash!"

                                            >She might be just the pony that can hit it off with Anonymous.

                                            >You see her ears perk up as she abruptly comes back around, hovering in front of the two of you.

                                            >"Hey, what's up Twilight? And uh..."

                                            >Your smile comes back, stretching from ear to ear.

                                            "This is Anonymous. We're just out enjoying the beautiful weather, aren't we?"

                                            >You nudge him.

                                            >"Yeah, yep, just wandering around. Outside."

                                            >You ignore his rather sarcastic lack of enthusiasm.

                                            "What are you up to, Rainbow?"

                                            >She beams proudly at your question.

                                            >"I'm working on a new flying routine for when I get into the Wonderbolts! Wanna see?"

                                            >You nod, while Anonymous shrugs.

                                            >Like a flash, Rainbow Dash zips past the two of you, and begins a series of high speed loops and turns.

                                            >You find yourself mesmerized by her agility as she continues to go faster and faster.

                                            >You don't notice how Anonymous reacts.

                                            >After a few minutes of the aerial show, Rainbow slows down and lands next to the two of you, chest puffed out and focused on Anonymous.

                                            >"So, what did you think? Am I not the fastest thing you've ever seen cut through the sky?"

                                            >"That was pretty quick, but no, not the fastest I've ever seen."

                                            >Rainbow Dash suddenly deflates, while you grind your teeth.

                                            >"What?! What could be even faster than me?!"

                                            >"Well, back in my world to travel, we have these big mechanical things called airplanes. There is one called the SR-71 Blackbird, if I remember correctly it goes just over three times the speed of sound. Which is like that."

                                            >He snaps his fingers, as if to emphasize his point.

                                            >"O-Oh yeah? Well I'm going to get that fast, just watch me!"

                                            >Your rainbow friends bolts off into the sky, leaving you and Anonymous there to watch her rapidly disappear.

                                            >"Boy, she has a bit of an ego."

                                            "Ugh, come on, we aren't done yet."


                                            >Why didn't you just stop after Rainbow Dash?

                                            "What were you thinking, Anonymous?!"

                                            >The two of you walk back to his house, the sun laying low on the horizon.

                                            >"What? How was I supposed to know squashing that bug would throw her into hysterics?"

                                            "I think Fluttershy might have been willing to forgive that if you hadn't told her of the time you, and I quote, 'popped a squirrel just like that one that had been chewing on your deck planks for three weeks!'"

                                            >He thinks a moment.

                                            >"Yeah, that might have been a bad story to tell."

                                            >You feel your eye twitching in frustration as you reach his front door.

                                            >"So that's it then? You don't have anyone else for me to meet?"

                                            "NO! No, I think today has been productive enough, Anonymous."

                                            >He opens his front door, standing there a moment.

                                            >"Well, alright then. I guess I'll get back to Battlefield then. I have a score to settle with some of those pricks."

                                            "Goodnight."

                                            >He closes his door, as you turn and walk home.

                                            >How can someone be so socially awkward like that?

                                            >You feel bad for him.

                                            >But then again, he didn't seem too upset.

                                            >Or, more specifically, not upset at all.

                                            >You pause after only a few hundred feet and turn.

                                            >'You don't have anyone else for me to meet? I guess I'll get back to Battlefield then.'

                                            >That little fink.

                                            >He isn't THAT socially awkward.

                                            >You clench your jaw as you realize this whole day has been sabotaged.

                                            >As you slowly walk back towards his home, an idea pops into your head.

                                            >Your smile returns, ever wider.


                                            >"What are you up to, Twilight?"

                                            >Your mentor, Princess Celestia, peers over your shoulder.

                                            >"Friendship is magic! All you desire is to make new friends in Equestria!"

                                            >The recording of your voice carries through Anonymous's home, as you and Celestia sit in the room opposite the living room where he is sitting.

                                            >With a spell, you can see right through the wall and watch his progress, while you keep him sealed in the room.

                                            "It, uh, it's something I picked up from that cult in the desert I sent you a letter about not too long ago."

                                            >"Oh. Is there any progress thus far?"

                                            >You keep focused on Anonymous, who sits on his couch with him arms crossed.

                                            >Staring straight forward, you would almost swear he could see you.

                                            >Suddenly, slowly, his arms uncross, revealing the middle finger on each hand sticking up.

                                            >"I'm.... not as familiar with his customs as you are. What does that mean, Twilight?"

                                            >You giggle nervously.

                                            "It means this might take a little while."


                                            [Originally posted 8 April 2015]