GREEN
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1539 8.6 KB 175
1539 8.6 KB 175
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=BiE 71=
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>Year 2 in Equestria.
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>Hour 3 in Canterlot.
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>"How about this one?" Lotus asks.
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>You look the building over.
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>"It's kind of big for a spa, don't you think?"
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>Lotus trots up to you. "Dear, half of our current spa is underground."
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>"And most of this towers above the street. The old spa worked fine with one story, why does this one need two?"
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>Lotus huffs and walks down the street. "You just don't want to have to walk up stairs."
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>You follow Lotus.
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>"My sloth aside, isn't a two story spa a bit extravagant for our second location?"
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>Lotus stops in the street and turns to you. "We have to make our mark here. We need something that these big Canterlot spas can't compete with."
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>You raise your arms and silently flex your fingers. "Something else dear."
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>"Oh, I see how it is. You've had your fill of my awesome fingers, so now we have to buy a building."
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>"We need something, some sort of hook, to get p0nies to come to our spa. You're good, but you're not -that- good." Lotus says.
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>You throw your hands behind your head.
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>"I blame my teacher."
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>"Yes, this is clearly her fault."
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>"If she had spent less time with her tongue down my throat, I could compete with these heavy hitters."
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>Lotus stops in her tracks and glares at you.
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Might have taken this a bit too far...
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>You roll your eyes.
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>"Sorry."
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>Lotus silently turns back and continues down the street.
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Great...
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>Silent treatment...
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>You followed Lotus a few feet back as she continued not talking to you.
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>"I thought this move was a long while away, why are we here now?"
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>Nothing.
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>"You're acting like a filly."
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>Lotus continued to stare straight ahead.
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>"I find your mother attractive."
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>Lotus stops in the street and stares at you.
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That got her.
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>"Can we talk now?"
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>Lotus's eyes narrow. "No."
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>She then continues trotting down the road.
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>Goddamnit.
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>"Babe. This is ridiculous."
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>Lotus mumbles something as she puts distance between the two of you.
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>"What?"
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>"I said I don't care and to stop following me!" Lotus shouts from down the road.
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>What!?
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What is this?
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>Is she-?
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She's ditching us here!
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>You were more than a bit annoyed, this was stupid.
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>You cup your hands around your mouth.
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>"Those fritters you ate on the train are going to your ass!"
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>Lotus flicks her tail at you as she turns onto another street.
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>You stand there for a moment before you notice that you are surrounded by p0nies staring at you.
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>"What!?"
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>The p0nies snap back to their own business and continue walking.
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>That's what you thought...
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>You stomped through Canterlot, ignoring the looks you were getting.
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>Eventually, you decided the take a seat on a park bench.
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Why's she leave like that?
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>She's probably PMS'ing, p0nies do that, right?
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Makes the most sense.
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>It's not like we lied or anything.
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We didn't! If we had spent less time making out, we'd be better at massages!
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>You sit and stew for a little while.
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>You're still trying to wrap your head around what you did.
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>You were always a bit rude, but that had never bothered Lotus before.
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>You weren't acting any differe-"Alone in the park?" A voice asked.
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>"GAH WHAT THE FUCK."
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>A shrill laugh resonates from behind a nearby tree as an enormous stark white p0ny steps out from behind it.
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>"Cunting hell, Celestia. Do you just stalk Canterlot in the off chance that I show up? The citizens are going to talk."
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>The monarch recomposes herself and speaks. "I happened to be taking a stroll through the city when what did I hear but my favorite human shouting about fritters and rear ends."
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>Fuck your life, she heard that.
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>You turn your head away as she continues. "I decided to follow you to see if I could gather any clues, but I'm afraid I came up emptyhoofed."
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>You dismissively wave a hand and walk down the path out of the park.
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>"Good. Stay out of my damn business."
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>The clinking of golden horseshoes tells you that isn't going to happen. "Oh come now, Mous. I have been alive for over a thousand years, you couldn't ask for better advice."
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>"I could ask somep0ny who isn't trying to stick her nose in my damn business.
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>Celestia trots up next to you. "That doesn't sound like you telling me what happened." She sings out.
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>You sigh. Can't hurt...
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>"Okay, what happened was..."
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>You walked with Celestia for a while as you both recanted what had happened and answered any of her inane questions.
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>"Was she annoyed when you came here?"
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>"Did you actually call her fat?"
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>"Did she catch you looking at other mares?"
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>Eventually you reach your admittedly short limit.
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>"No. I did not piss her off and home, or call her fat, and stop projecting your problems on me."
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>Celestia chuckles. "Then it sounds like she simply got tired of you being an ass."
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>"What? I wasn't being an ass!"
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>"Mous, you always act like an ass."
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>"Fuck you. I am not."
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>Celestia cocks an eyebrow. "Yes. Clearly."
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>"That's because I'm annoyed right now!"
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>You turn away and lean on a nearby wall.
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>Celestia walks up to you. "It's true Mous."
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>"Then why has nop0ny said anything?"
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>"Perhaps they have. Mous, think to yourself, how many friends do you have?"
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>You turn to face the monarch. "What is this?"
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>"Answer the question." She says.
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This is stupid.
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>"Anon, Lotus, You, Rainbow...Derpy, Aloe?, Uhh...Applejack...Twilight...Blueblood..."
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>"You don't sound too sure about some of those." She says.
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>"Piss off, I'm sure about the first four."
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>"So, your best friend, his wife, your special somep0ny, and me. We are all the friends you have?"
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>"Have you never wondered why?" Celestia asks as she orbits around you.
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>"I'm not a p0ny person."
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>"That aside, it's because you're an ass. You have four friends because you're a horrible jackass."'
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>"Then why they hell has nobody ever said anything?"
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>Celestia sighs in exasperation. "I told you. because they're either your best friend, his wife, or your special somep0ny."
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>You glance at her. "And you?"
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>Celestia chuckles. "I am incredibly old and incredibly patient, I can tolerate some rudeness."
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>Tch.
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>"You forgot to mention humble."
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>"Celestia releases a laugh. "Especially when that rudeness is entertaining."
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>You stood outside the hotel room you were staying at.
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>"This is a bad idea."
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>Celestia nudges you forward. "That's never stopped you."
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>"She's probably not even here."
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>"You won't know until you check."
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>You have your hand on the door knob.
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>"You should talk to-
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>A flash of light and a popping sound interrupts you.
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>You look back to see Celestia has made herself scarce.
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>"...You bitch."
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>You take a deep breath the open the door.
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>Lotus turns to look at you as you silently stomp into the room, drop yourself onto the couch, and cross your arms.
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>Lotus glares at you for a moment before returning to what appears to be her choice of spa locations.
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>"So..."
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>Lotus remains facing forward. "So...
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>That's good. At least she's talking to you.
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>"So, I talked to a friend."
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>"Anyp0ny I know?"
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>"Uh...an older one."
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>Lotus silently nods. "And?"
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>You throw our arms into the air and lean back on the couch.
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>"And I found out that I'm apparently a gigantic asshole all the time and that you should probably break up with me."
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>Lotus turns to you. "You found out exactly that?"
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>You look at her out of the corner of your eye.
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>"I may be paraphrasing."
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>She goes back to her list. "It's true, you are an asshole."
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>You snap your fingers.
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>"See? I knew it."
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>"Almost all the time."
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>"Preach."
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>"Your constant complaining is one of the most grating things I've ever experienced." She says.
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>"It makes sense."
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>"And any mare with more than half a brain would leave you in the dust."
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>"I always knew you were smarter tha-oof!"
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>You lean forward to see Lotus's head in your lap.
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Uhh...
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>"Am I missing something?"
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>Lotus turns her head to you. "I'm a twin, sweetheart. I had to split a brain."
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>"So...you're not mad at me?"
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>Lotus stretches in your lap. "Oh, I'm still mad. But you'd be amazed at how much having to walk around an unfamiliar city all day looking a buildings makes you long for some company."
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>Your hand falls from the couch and runs through Lotus's mane.
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>"Sorry...That I was an asshole."
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>"Anything less wouldn't be you." She says.
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>"Wouldn't that be better?"
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>Lotus giggles. "Dear, you're an incredible amount of fun to be around. It just has to be in doses sometimes."
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>Doses?
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>"Uhh...I can work on that, if you want."
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>Lotus looks up at you. "All for me?"
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>Your eyes dart around the room.
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>"Yes?"
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>Lotus pulls herself up and rests her head on your shoulder. "I'd like that..."
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>Your arms loop themselves around her.
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>"How much of a reduction were you looking for?
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>"A you who is half as much an asshole would be spectacular."
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Hmm...
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>"I can give you 75%"
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>Baby steps.
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