Flanking Maneuvers Episode 9: B Side.


                                            =Flanking Maneuvers Episode 9=


                                            >You skipped along the Canterlot streets, happy as could be.

                                            >It was barely after ten, but you had already made your day.

                                            >Today had been the culmination of weeks of planning and pranking Celestia.

                                            >You had been hiding them all over the city.

                                            >Along the walls.

                                            >In the shops.

                                            >Over roofs and under bridges.

                                            >Even got a few on the top of the castle.

                                            >Dildos.

                                            >Hundreds upon hundreds of dildos, spread all over Canterlot where Celestia would see.

                                            >She had, to your shock and surprise, actually gotten rid of most of her prosthetics when the two of you got married.

                                            >Most.

                                            >Six boxes of plastic dongs and a couple late night snooping sessions had lead to one of your greatest pranks ever.

                                            >And it all got capped off this morning at breakfast when Celly found a plastic cock baked into her bread.

                                            >The look on her face was priceless, you couldn't tell if she wanted to just eat around it or swallow the whole thing.

                                            >She had stormed off after you started laughing and left her breakfast sitting there, apparently locking herself in the Magi tower.

                                            >You glanced over at said tower, it was lit up like a Christmas tree like it always was.

                                            >Except this time, the antenna on top was glowing like no tomorrow, gathering up magical energy.

                                            >That...wasn't supposed to happen...

                                            >A pink crack of lightning strikes the tip of the tower and sends a wave of magic over the city.

                                            >You raise your arms over your face as the wave tosses you back.

                                            >Voices around you cry out in shock asking "what happened?" over and over.

                                            >Your entire body stings as you push yourself up off the ground... and...

                                            >You look down and see them, your mind not believe it.

                                            "WHY DO I HAVE TITS!?"

                                            -Theme song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmGkfWDtv78-


                                            >You stormed through the palace.

                                            "WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS HE!?"

                                            >You were a feral tiger on the hunt, and you knew just the kind of blood you wanted.

                                            >You reached out and grabbed a royal guard by the scruff of her armor.

                                            "WHERE IS MY HUSBAND?"

                                            >She timidly points a hoof down the hall, towards your room.

                                            >You toss her away and go kick the door open, he's standing there with that shit eating grin of his.

                                            "SOLARIIIIIIIIIIS!"

                                            >He turns and flashes a smile to you.

                                            >"Hello darling! How are yo-"

                                            >You grab his face and shut him up.

                                            "I'M GOING TO KILL AND EAT YOU."

                                            >His smile twists into a smarmy grin.

                                            >"In what order~?"

                                            >You grab his horn and tilt his head down so you can look into his eyes.

                                            "Fix. This."

                                            >He chuckles. "I don't know if I can."

                                            >What.

                                            >WHAT.

                                            "WHAAAAAAT?!"

                                            >"Who is shouting in here!?" A navy alicorn behind you yelled.

                                            "SHUT UP ORION!"

                                            >You turn back to your husband.

                                            "What do you mean you "don't know if you can"?"

                                            >Solly smiles. "Just that dear, the spell seemed to...misfire. I can't say this gender swapping effect was what I had in mind."

                                            >That might explain why even your thoughts were flipped.

                                            >Wait.

                                            "What WAS the effect you wanted?"

                                            >Solly smiles.

                                            >"Irritable bowel syndrome dear, honest."

                                            >Brilliant...


                                            >You, Solaris and Orion were all crammed into a carriage heading towards Ponyville.

                                            >You sat with your arms crossed as the sky outside whizzed by.

                                            >Solaris spent the entire time staring at your chest.

                                            "Fuck off."

                                            >"Whatever do you mean, dear?"

                                            "I mean I said I wasn't taking my tits out when we were at the castle and I'm not taking them out here."

                                            >He nuzzles against your cheek.

                                            >"Oh but darling...this is a once in a lifetime opportunity! Aren't you the least bit...curious?" He says.

                                            >No.

                                            >No you were not.

                                            "Solly...your brother is RIGHT THERE."

                                            >Orion sat in his seat on the far side of carriage, red faced as can be.

                                            >"This...is what I get for seeing Pippy, isn't it?"

                                            "Shut up Orion."

                                            >He leans back in and begins trying to nibble at your ear.

                                            >"See? He has no right to complain with the things he does..."

                                            >The world was not prepared for your spouse with testosterone flooding his brain.

                                            >But there was one thing that it was less prepared for.

                                            >You. PMS'ing.

                                            >Your hand shoots up and snatches Solaris' tongue from his mouth.

                                            "Solly, if you utter another word about us having sex in this carriage, I'm going to rip this out."

                                            >"'Ut iss 'ould 'e a o'y 'ime 'e 'ath 'oo 'y i'!"

                                            "I don't care if this is the only time we have to try this! I am not letting you fuck me after you turned me into a boiling tub of estrogen!"

                                            >Solaris yanks his tongue back into his mouth and pouts in the seat next to you.

                                            >"You're fine with sleeping with me when you're a man but the second I turn you into a woman it's "Keep that thing away from me!"."

                                            "...Yeah, that's how normal couples work."

                                            >The carriage is silent...

                                            >"...Pippy and I don't work like that."

                                            "SHUT UP ORION."


                                            >You open the door to the Ponyville Library.

                                            "Dusk! You better be able to fix this crap!"

                                            >Dusk Shine trots down the stairs from his second floor, Stiletto the dragon on his back.

                                            >"You guys too, huh?"

                                            >"I'm afraid so, my faithful student..." Solaris said.

                                            >You could care less that Solaris didn't want to tell Dusk he did this, whatever, he'll get his later.

                                            >You just wanted your balls back.

                                            >"That Mo'?" A voice from the basement asked.

                                            >Ahttp://www...her too?

                                            "Hey Ann."

                                            >The two of you embrace in the library.

                                            "How's Blitz taking it?"

                                            >"Amazed at his new appendage, how bout you two?"

                                            >You glance at your husband and narrow your eyes.

                                            "We're dealing..."

                                            >Solaris clears his throat.

                                            >"Yes, well, why don't we get started trying to solve this dilemma?" He says.

                                            >He turns to Dusk and Ann.

                                            >"I believe the spell was a transmogrification wave sent across the Angel spectrum."

                                            >"How could this get on the Angel spectrum!? The power requirements would be enormous!"

                                            >"But if it -IS- on the Angel Spectrum..."

                                            >"...Then the Princes' using their magic on a Riselem Ankh hooked up to a transmitter should reverse the effects!"

                                            >They were talking a different language when they were like this.

                                            >You couldn't even tell who said what.

                                            >Dusk walked over to a shelf. "I have a Riselem Ankh in here somewhere, we can just hook it up to a dish and be set to go!"

                                            >He levitates the box out and dumps the contents on the floor.

                                            >You imagine he immediately regrets it based on what falls out and the shade of crimson his cheeks take.

                                            "Now I KNOW the maids at the castle don't have fishnets as part of their outfits..."

                                            >"They will starting next week~..."


                                            >An hour or two later you were back at the palace.

                                            >And your balls were back in their rightful spot.

                                            >Celly had been disappointed when her own pair winked away, but at least it stopped her from giving you that lusty stare.

                                            >The three of you had said your goodbyes and made way back to Canterlot.

                                            >As part one of your revenge, you had let slip that it was Celly who flipped everyone, Luna was in the process of nagging your ears off about it.

                                            >"-and I have NEVER seen such a blatant disregard for ones duties in all my years! Honestly Sister, swapping the genders of the ENTIRE NATION? OVER PETTY REVENGE?!"

                                            >A glance at Celly's face told you that she was just as tired of this as you were.

                                            >The two of you walked into your room as Luna ranted in the hallway.

                                            >"Why, if this were the days of Olde Equestria, we would take you out an-"

                                            >She gets cut off as you slam the door.


                                            >"THANK you..." Celestia said as she walked to her beauty desk.

                                            >"Another minute of that and I'd have to send her to the moon again..."

                                            "You deserve it."

                                            >"Oh come now dear, I told you that it was unintended! I only wanted to give you the runs!"

                                            "Oh well in THAT case..."

                                            >Celly pouts at the desk. "Wasn't even willing to experiment with the time we had..."

                                            "Oh fuck off, you're lucky I don't divorce you."

                                            >"Ha! As if anyp0ny else would put up with you!"

                                            >The room is silent for a moment.

                                            "You know..."

                                            >Celly turns to you.

                                            "I'm not opposed to it..."experimentation"...

                                            >Her gaze turns sultry as she gets to her feet and trots to the other side of the bed from you.

                                            >"Oh~? What kind?..."

                                            "Hehe...let me show you..."

                                            >You reach under the bed and grab It.

                                            >You plop it down on the bed and grab the rip cord as Celly's eyes grow wide and she realizes what it is you're holding.

                                            >"Mous! Don't you-"

                                            >You pull the chord.

                                            "DILDO BOMB!"