Flanking Maneuvers Episode 15: Hers and His.


                                            =Flanking Maneuvers Episode 15=


                                            -Theme Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmGkfWDtv78-


                                            >Breakfast.

                                            >Toast.

                                            >BURNT toast.

                                            >Again.

                                            "And on her last day of our bet, she decides to be a cunt and burns my food to carbon."

                                            >You toss your ruined toast and watch it break into a million pieces.

                                            >"It slipped." Celestia says.

                                            "How often have those words been uttered around you?"

                                            >Celestia rolls her eyes as you start buttering a sweet role.

                                            >The Royal Family was rather small today, just Luna.

                                            >Armor and Cadence were off in the Crystal Kingdom cleaning up after Sombra's crap.

                                            >You remember that week, you had been on Celly's tits the entire time wondering why she was sending six kids instead of going herself.

                                            >She spouted some crap about it being a test for Twilight.

                                            >Meaning it smelled like a case of the "bad ex"'s to you.

                                            >But that was the past now.

                                            "So how you been, Luna?" you ask as you butter your bread.

                                            >Luna sips her tea and arches an eyebrow. "I have been...well, In-law. I have been spending time out with some friends out in the city."

                                            >Luna.

                                            >Friends.

                                            >Ha.

                                            "And how's that been?"

                                            >"It has been well, I even had a social date the other evening."

                                            >Celestia sighs. "Spending time with those you care for is so nice..."

                                            >You nod.

                                            "That it is."

                                            >"I wish I could get out more often."

                                            "Yeah, it's a bit boring here all the time."

                                            >"So you'll pick me up at eight?"

                                            "Yeah, su-"

                                            >Whoa.

                                            >Wait.

                                            >What?


                                            -Music: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zwLtFovGyCI-

                                            >You and Celly were in your Sunday best sitting in the middle of the "Le", Canterlot's premier fancy restraint.

                                            >You thought the name was flank-on-head retarded.

                                            >Everyp0ny else sat around the outer edge of the establishment eating and being merry.

                                            >You catch a few glances to your table still.

                                            "Everyone is staring."

                                            >Celly continues to eat her food. "We're royalty, it comes with the territory."

                                            "Don't talk with your damn mouth full."

                                            >"I'm the Sun, I can do what I want."

                                            "You're a Princess, don't be a cunt."

                                            >Celly waggles her eyebrows and puts a few leaves of salad in her mouth before saying "No."

                                            >You resort to your last choice and flip her the bird.

                                            >"Body language, dear. We're in public."

                                            "Since when has public image been something you care about?"

                                            >"Since I've had to pick up after you."

                                            "Just keeping life interesting, don't want you going back into Hyper-Whore mode."

                                            >"It keeps life interesting~" Celly says as she downs her wine.

                                            >Hmm...should fix that.

                                            >Your waiter returns to your table levitating a notepad. "And can I get the royal family anything else this evening?"

                                            "A bottle of Asgardian Black, if you don't mind."

                                            >The waiter balks a bit but regains his composure. "Is His Highness feeling particularly daring today?

                                            >You toss a smile to Celly.

                                            "No, I just like to get wined and dined before I get fucked."


                                            >Celly sent your drink back as soon as it arrived, denying you and sort of fun you had planned and forcing you to do the thing you dreaded doing.

                                            >Talking.

                                            "So what's the plan for next week?"

                                            >"The Prench president is stopping by for a bit of a chat about the situation of Horsaille and later in the week I was thinking about helping teach magical theory at the university."

                                            "So you're gonna smell like cheap cheese and booze for a week, brilliant."

                                            >Celly arches an eyebrow. "You'd prefer if I smell like you do? Sweat and whatever food was tossed at you?"

                                            "Feck off."

                                            >"Always a way with words, dear."

                                            "One of us here has to."

                                            >"And what are your plans for the week?"

                                            "Figured I'd work most days, come home to your bitchy ass, and drink until I can't feel feelings anymore. You know, stuff normal people do as opposed to your God-king schedule."

                                            >Celestia grins down. "Don't tell me you're still jealous~?"

                                            "Don't fucking start that shit again."

                                            >Celly titters and goes back to her meal, letting you spot two familiar faces over her shoulder.

                                            "Hey, check five-thirty and seven."

                                            >Celly looks over her shoulders at Filthy Rich on her right and Fancypants on her left.

                                            >"Small Equestria."

                                            "And you fucked one of them."

                                            >"I have not slept with EVERYONE, dear."

                                            "She said totally believing herself."


                                            >Your soup came in time, one of the only filling things you could get outside of the castle.

                                            "They burnt my soup..."

                                            >"That's what you get for being picky."

                                            "How do you burn soup?"

                                            >"Honestly, I thought the royal chef was going to quit a few times."

                                            "It's SOUP."

                                            >"Why is it that you make half the castle staff almost quit just by being you?"

                                            "Is Sweetie Belle working the backroom or some fucking shit?"

                                            >"I swear that's the reason I don't take you out on diplomatic missions, you'd start a war in an hour."

                                            >You continue to glance around the restaurant as an older stallion come to your table.

                                            >"Princess Celestia." he began.

                                            >Yeah, just ignore you.

                                            >"It is my great honor to have you in my establishment tonight, and I would just like to ask if there was anything I could do for you to make your evening any more pleasant."

                                            "You burnt my soup."

                                            >Celly and him talk around you.

                                            >"Oh thank you sir, but the dinner was positively lovely."

                                            "Except for my burnt soup."

                                            >"Your praise warms this old heart, Princess, thank you." he says with a bow.

                                            "Do you have a little white filly working in the kitchen?"

                                            >"The praise is well earned, good sir."

                                            "About this tall? Unicorn? Pink hair and a high pitched voice?"

                                            >The stallion bows deep as he continues to ignore you.

                                            >Okay, that's it.

                                            >You grab his ear.

                                            "Hey, can you give me a hand with something?" you whisper.

                                            >His eyes dart between you and her. "What did you have in mind, sir?"

                                            >Oh.

                                            >Something good.


                                            >You kick in the door to the royal apartments.

                                            "Luna! We're home!"

                                            >You hoist the moaning Celestia further onto your back and trudge into through the door, grunting all the way.

                                            "And I could use some damn help here!"

                                            >Luna trots out of her room and balks when she sees you holding a Celestia who frankly looked like death on your back. "In-law! What happened!?"

                                            >You take a few more steps as Luna helps lift Celly off your back.

                                            >You massage the small of your back and groan as Luna looks her sister over.

                                            >"WHAT HAPPENED HERE!?" she shouts.

                                            "Ease up on the Royal Voice, she ate pears."

                                            >Luna twists her head a bit. "Pears?"

                                            "She's allergic. Stomach cramps."

                                            >Luna nods her head. "Ah..."

                                            "Care to help me lug her to bed?"

                                            >"O-of course, In-law."

                                            >You help Luna carry your wife upstairs and dump her fat ass on the bed.

                                            >Once Luna is out of the room, you collapse on the bed next to Celly and give her your best grin.

                                            "How ya feeling, Sunshine?"

                                            >She mumbles something, you're sure you hear the word "revenge" in there.

                                            >You pat her head.

                                            "Now don't be like thaaaat, it's all in fun."

                                            >She groans and rolls over as you hop up next to her.

                                            "You gonna warn me if you vomit?"

                                            >She moans again. "Uuhhhhgggggggg...yes..."

                                            >She was totally lying, but that was the price you paid.

                                            >You flip on the TV and nudge her as the show comes on.

                                            "Oh look, Dirty Jobs."

                                            >Celly moans and groans under the covers at the thought of a show about sewers with poop.

                                            >You sigh contentedly.

                                            "I had a good night too, sweetheart.