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Flanking Maneuvers Episode 15: Hers and His.

By Mandroid
Created: 19th December 2020 01:27:09 PM
AIE Safe Anon Celestia Comedy

  1. =Flanking Maneuvers Episode 15=
  2.  
  3.  
  4. >Breakfast.
  5. >Toast.
  6. >BURNT toast.
  7. >Again.
  8. "And on her last day of our bet, she decides to be a cunt and burns my food to carbon."
  9. >You toss your ruined toast and watch it break into a million pieces.
  10. >"It slipped." Celestia says.
  11. "How often have those words been uttered around you?"
  12. >Celestia rolls her eyes as you start buttering a sweet role.
  13. >The Royal Family was rather small today, just Luna.
  14. >Armor and Cadence were off in the Crystal Kingdom cleaning up after Sombra's crap.
  15. >You remember that week, you had been on Celly's tits the entire time wondering why she was sending six kids instead of going herself.
  16. >She spouted some crap about it being a test for Twilight.
  17. >Meaning it smelled like a case of the "bad ex"'s to you.
  18. >But that was the past now.
  19. "So how you been, Luna?" you ask as you butter your bread.
  20. >Luna sips her tea and arches an eyebrow. "I have been...well, In-law. I have been spending time out with some friends out in the city."
  21. >Luna.
  22. >Friends.
  23. >Ha.
  24. "And how's that been?"
  25. >"It has been well, I even had a social date the other evening."
  26. >Celestia sighs. "Spending time with those you care for is so nice..."
  27. >You nod.
  28. "That it is."
  29. >"I wish I could get out more often."
  30. "Yeah, it's a bit boring here all the time."
  31. >"So you'll pick me up at eight?"
  32. "Yeah, su-"
  33. >Whoa.
  34. >Wait.
  35. >What?
  36.  
  37. >You and Celly were in your Sunday best sitting in the middle of the "Le", Canterlot's premier fancy restraint.
  38. >You thought the name was flank-on-head retarded.
  39. >Everyp0ny else sat around the outer edge of the establishment eating and being merry.
  40. >You catch a few glances to your table still.
  41. "Everyone is staring."
  42. >Celly continues to eat her food. "We're royalty, it comes with the territory."
  43. "Don't talk with your damn mouth full."
  44. >"I'm the Sun, I can do what I want."
  45. "You're a Princess, don't be a cunt."
  46. >Celly waggles her eyebrows and puts a few leaves of salad in her mouth before saying "No."
  47. >You resort to your last choice and flip her the bird.
  48. >"Body language, dear. We're in public."
  49. "Since when has public image been something you care about?"
  50. >"Since I've had to pick up after you."
  51. "Just keeping life interesting, don't want you going back into Hyper-Whore mode."
  52. >"It keeps life interesting~" Celly says as she downs her wine.
  53. >Hmm...should fix that.
  54. >Your waiter returns to your table levitating a notepad. "And can I get the royal family anything else this evening?"
  55. "A bottle of Asgardian Black, if you don't mind."
  56. >The waiter balks a bit but regains his composure. "Is His Highness feeling particularly daring today?
  57. >You toss a smile to Celly.
  58. "No, I just like to get wined and dined before I get fucked."
  59.  
  60. >Celly sent your drink back as soon as it arrived, denying you and sort of fun you had planned and forcing you to do the thing you dreaded doing.
  61. >Talking.
  62. "So what's the plan for next week?"
  63. >"The Prench president is stopping by for a bit of a chat about the situation of Horsaille and later in the week I was thinking about helping teach magical theory at the university."
  64. "So you're gonna smell like cheap cheese and booze for a week, brilliant."
  65. >Celly arches an eyebrow. "You'd prefer if I smell like you do? Sweat and whatever food was tossed at you?"
  66. "Feck off."
  67. >"Always a way with words, dear."
  68. "One of us here has to."
  69. >"And what are your plans for the week?"
  70. "Figured I'd work most days, come home to your bitchy ass, and drink until I can't feel feelings anymore. You know, stuff normal people do as opposed to your God-king schedule."
  71. >Celestia grins down. "Don't tell me you're still jealous~?"
  72. "Don't fucking start that shit again."
  73. >Celly titters and goes back to her meal, letting you spot two familiar faces over her shoulder.
  74. "Hey, check five-thirty and seven."
  75. >Celly looks over her shoulders at Filthy Rich on her right and Fancypants on her left.
  76. >"Small Equestria."
  77. "And you fucked one of them."
  78. >"I have not slept with EVERYONE, dear."
  79. "She said totally believing herself."
  80.  
  81. >Your soup came in time, one of the only filling things you could get outside of the castle.
  82. "They burnt my soup..."
  83. >"That's what you get for being picky."
  84. "How do you burn soup?"
  85. >"Honestly, I thought the royal chef was going to quit a few times."
  86. "It's SOUP."
  87. >"Why is it that you make half the castle staff almost quit just by being you?"
  88. "Is Sweetie Belle working the backroom or some fucking shit?"
  89. >"I swear that's the reason I don't take you out on diplomatic missions, you'd start a war in an hour."
  90. >You continue to glance around the restaurant as an older stallion come to your table.
  91. >"Princess Celestia." he began.
  92. >Yeah, just ignore you.
  93. >"It is my great honor to have you in my establishment tonight, and I would just like to ask if there was anything I could do for you to make your evening any more pleasant."
  94. "You burnt my soup."
  95. >Celly and him talk around you.
  96. >"Oh thank you sir, but the dinner was positively lovely."
  97. "Except for my burnt soup."
  98. >"Your praise warms this old heart, Princess, thank you." he says with a bow.
  99. "Do you have a little white filly working in the kitchen?"
  100. >"The praise is well earned, good sir."
  101. "About this tall? Unicorn? Pink hair and a high pitched voice?"
  102. >The stallion bows deep as he continues to ignore you.
  103. >Okay, that's it.
  104. >You grab his ear.
  105. "Hey, can you give me a hand with something?" you whisper.
  106. >His eyes dart between you and her. "What did you have in mind, sir?"
  107. >Oh.
  108. >Something good.
  109.  
  110. >You kick in the door to the royal apartments.
  111. "Luna! We're home!"
  112. >You hoist the moaning Celestia further onto your back and trudge into through the door, grunting all the way.
  113. "And I could use some damn help here!"
  114. >Luna trots out of her room and balks when she sees you holding a Celestia who frankly looked like death on your back. "In-law! What happened!?"
  115. >You take a few more steps as Luna helps lift Celly off your back.
  116. >You massage the small of your back and groan as Luna looks her sister over.
  117. >"WHAT HAPPENED HERE!?" she shouts.
  118. "Ease up on the Royal Voice, she ate pears."
  119. >Luna twists her head a bit. "Pears?"
  120. "She's allergic. Stomach cramps."
  121. >Luna nods her head. "Ah..."
  122. "Care to help me lug her to bed?"
  123. >"O-of course, In-law."
  124. >You help Luna carry your wife upstairs and dump her fat ass on the bed.
  125. >Once Luna is out of the room, you collapse on the bed next to Celly and give her your best grin.
  126. "How ya feeling, Sunshine?"
  127. >She mumbles something, you're sure you hear the word "revenge" in there.
  128. >You pat her head.
  129. "Now don't be like thaaaat, it's all in fun."
  130. >She groans and rolls over as you hop up next to her.
  131. "You gonna warn me if you vomit?"
  132. >She moans again. "Uuhhhhgggggggg...yes..."
  133. >She was totally lying, but that was the price you paid.
  134. >You flip on the TV and nudge her as the show comes on.
  135. "Oh look, Dirty Jobs."
  136. >Celly moans and groans under the covers at the thought of a show about sewers with poop.
  137. >You sigh contentedly.
  138. "I had a good night too, sweetheart.

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