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=Flanking Maneuvers Episode 15=
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-Theme Song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XmGkfWDtv78-
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>Breakfast.
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>Toast.
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>BURNT toast.
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>Again.
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"And on her last day of our bet, she decides to be a cunt and burns my food to carbon."
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>You toss your ruined toast and watch it break into a million pieces.
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>"It slipped." Celestia says.
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"How often have those words been uttered around you?"
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>Celestia rolls her eyes as you start buttering a sweet role.
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>The Royal Family was rather small today, just Luna.
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>Armor and Cadence were off in the Crystal Kingdom cleaning up after Sombra's crap.
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>You remember that week, you had been on Celly's tits the entire time wondering why she was sending six kids instead of going herself.
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>She spouted some crap about it being a test for Twilight.
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>Meaning it smelled like a case of the "bad ex"'s to you.
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>But that was the past now.
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"So how you been, Luna?" you ask as you butter your bread.
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>Luna sips her tea and arches an eyebrow. "I have been...well, In-law. I have been spending time out with some friends out in the city."
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>Luna.
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>Friends.
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>Ha.
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"And how's that been?"
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>"It has been well, I even had a social date the other evening."
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>Celestia sighs. "Spending time with those you care for is so nice..."
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>You nod.
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"That it is."
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>"I wish I could get out more often."
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"Yeah, it's a bit boring here all the time."
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>"So you'll pick me up at eight?"
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"Yeah, su-"
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>Whoa.
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>Wait.
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>What?
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>You and Celly were in your Sunday best sitting in the middle of the "Le", Canterlot's premier fancy restraint.
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>You thought the name was flank-on-head retarded.
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>Everyp0ny else sat around the outer edge of the establishment eating and being merry.
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>You catch a few glances to your table still.
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"Everyone is staring."
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>Celly continues to eat her food. "We're royalty, it comes with the territory."
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"Don't talk with your damn mouth full."
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>"I'm the Sun, I can do what I want."
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"You're a Princess, don't be a cunt."
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>Celly waggles her eyebrows and puts a few leaves of salad in her mouth before saying "No."
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>You resort to your last choice and flip her the bird.
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>"Body language, dear. We're in public."
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"Since when has public image been something you care about?"
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>"Since I've had to pick up after you."
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"Just keeping life interesting, don't want you going back into Hyper-Whore mode."
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>"It keeps life interesting~" Celly says as she downs her wine.
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>Hmm...should fix that.
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>Your waiter returns to your table levitating a notepad. "And can I get the royal family anything else this evening?"
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"A bottle of Asgardian Black, if you don't mind."
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>The waiter balks a bit but regains his composure. "Is His Highness feeling particularly daring today?
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>You toss a smile to Celly.
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"No, I just like to get wined and dined before I get fucked."
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>Celly sent your drink back as soon as it arrived, denying you and sort of fun you had planned and forcing you to do the thing you dreaded doing.
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>Talking.
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"So what's the plan for next week?"
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>"The Prench president is stopping by for a bit of a chat about the situation of Horsaille and later in the week I was thinking about helping teach magical theory at the university."
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"So you're gonna smell like cheap cheese and booze for a week, brilliant."
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>Celly arches an eyebrow. "You'd prefer if I smell like you do? Sweat and whatever food was tossed at you?"
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"Feck off."
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>"Always a way with words, dear."
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"One of us here has to."
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>"And what are your plans for the week?"
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"Figured I'd work most days, come home to your bitchy ass, and drink until I can't feel feelings anymore. You know, stuff normal people do as opposed to your God-king schedule."
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>Celestia grins down. "Don't tell me you're still jealous~?"
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"Don't fucking start that shit again."
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>Celly titters and goes back to her meal, letting you spot two familiar faces over her shoulder.
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"Hey, check five-thirty and seven."
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>Celly looks over her shoulders at Filthy Rich on her right and Fancypants on her left.
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>"Small Equestria."
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"And you fucked one of them."
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>"I have not slept with EVERYONE, dear."
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"She said totally believing herself."
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>Your soup came in time, one of the only filling things you could get outside of the castle.
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"They burnt my soup..."
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>"That's what you get for being picky."
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"How do you burn soup?"
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>"Honestly, I thought the royal chef was going to quit a few times."
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"It's SOUP."
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>"Why is it that you make half the castle staff almost quit just by being you?"
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"Is Sweetie Belle working the backroom or some fucking shit?"
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>"I swear that's the reason I don't take you out on diplomatic missions, you'd start a war in an hour."
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>You continue to glance around the restaurant as an older stallion come to your table.
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>"Princess Celestia." he began.
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>Yeah, just ignore you.
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>"It is my great honor to have you in my establishment tonight, and I would just like to ask if there was anything I could do for you to make your evening any more pleasant."
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"You burnt my soup."
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>Celly and him talk around you.
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>"Oh thank you sir, but the dinner was positively lovely."
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"Except for my burnt soup."
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>"Your praise warms this old heart, Princess, thank you." he says with a bow.
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"Do you have a little white filly working in the kitchen?"
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>"The praise is well earned, good sir."
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"About this tall? Unicorn? Pink hair and a high pitched voice?"
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>The stallion bows deep as he continues to ignore you.
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>Okay, that's it.
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>You grab his ear.
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"Hey, can you give me a hand with something?" you whisper.
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>His eyes dart between you and her. "What did you have in mind, sir?"
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>Oh.
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>Something good.
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>You kick in the door to the royal apartments.
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"Luna! We're home!"
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>You hoist the moaning Celestia further onto your back and trudge into through the door, grunting all the way.
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"And I could use some damn help here!"
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>Luna trots out of her room and balks when she sees you holding a Celestia who frankly looked like death on your back. "In-law! What happened!?"
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>You take a few more steps as Luna helps lift Celly off your back.
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>You massage the small of your back and groan as Luna looks her sister over.
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>"WHAT HAPPENED HERE!?" she shouts.
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"Ease up on the Royal Voice, she ate pears."
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>Luna twists her head a bit. "Pears?"
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"She's allergic. Stomach cramps."
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>Luna nods her head. "Ah..."
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"Care to help me lug her to bed?"
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>"O-of course, In-law."
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>You help Luna carry your wife upstairs and dump her fat ass on the bed.
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>Once Luna is out of the room, you collapse on the bed next to Celly and give her your best grin.
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"How ya feeling, Sunshine?"
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>She mumbles something, you're sure you hear the word "revenge" in there.
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>You pat her head.
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"Now don't be like thaaaat, it's all in fun."
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>She groans and rolls over as you hop up next to her.
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"You gonna warn me if you vomit?"
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>She moans again. "Uuhhhhgggggggg...yes..."
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>She was totally lying, but that was the price you paid.
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>You flip on the TV and nudge her as the show comes on.
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"Oh look, Dirty Jobs."
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>Celly moans and groans under the covers at the thought of a show about sewers with poop.
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>You sigh contentedly.
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"I had a good night too, sweetheart.
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