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>You are Anon, of Barbaria.
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>The walk to Sugarcube Corner is a quiet one. Nop0ny in sight as far as the eye can see.
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>As you approach the entrance of the bakery, you pause.
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>Pinkie Pie works here.
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>You remember what you just experienced at Rarity's…
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>The aftertaste still lingers on your tongue.
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>It would be safe to assume that Pinkie is going to be worse.
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>You take time to collect your thoughts before going through the door, readying yourself for the coming storm.
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>Don't Panic.
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>With those reassuring words echoing in your mind, you open wide the door.
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>Pastries there, and nothing more.
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>You walk up to the counter and ring a small call bell near the register.
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>You hear somep0ny approaching the counter.
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>As the the sound reaches the doorway to the kitchen, you throw your arms up in a defensive position, cradling your head and clenching your eyes shut.
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>…
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>"Um, Anon, what are you doing?"
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>Huh?
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>You lower your arms to see Mr. Cake standing at the register.
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>Phew...
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>Wait…
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>MR. Cake?
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>But Twilight said that all the stallions are sent away during Estrus…
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>Was she mistaken?
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>Wait again…
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"I came to get food, but can I use your bathroom first?"
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>"Uh, sure. It's right over there."
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>Mr. Cake looks at you, confused, then points to a door on the far side of the room.
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>You thank him and dash into the restroom, locking the door behind you.
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>You look in the mirror.
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>The brand had mirrored Fluttershy's cutie mark this morning, when you were alone with her.
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>And it had shown Rarity's after seeing her…
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>Was your earlier theory true?
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>Could it change to reflect the p0nies around you?
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>You hold your breath as you stretch the neck of your shirt down.
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>…
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>Three diamonds stare back at you.
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>Last you checked, Mr. Cake was a baker.
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*Sigh*
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>You release your new shirt's neck.
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>So much for that theory...
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>You unlock the door and return to the counter.
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>Mr. Cake walks back out of the kitchen and glances nervously at you.
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>"Are you ok, Anon?"
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>…
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>You don't know how to answer…
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>You break out the awkward smile.
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"Ye- yeah…"
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>The two of you stand in silence for a brief moment. Neither of you were the particularly chatty type.
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"I heard that you were having a sale on ice cream?"
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>Mr. Cake perks up at this.
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>"Oh yes! What flavor would you like?"
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>You think.
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>Vanilla is your favorite…
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>Rarity flashes across your mindscape.
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>Her scent… Vanilla…
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"Chocolate would be nice."
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>You hate chocolate ice cream.
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>Mr. Cake smiles at you.
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>"Coming right up!"
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>As he gets your cold dairy treat, you decide to get some information.
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"Hey, Mr. Cake?"
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>"Hmm? What is it, Anon?"
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"…"
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"Don't take this the wrong way, but why are you here?"
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>He leans his head to the side.
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>"What do you mean?"
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"Twilight told me that all stallions are sent away during Estrus, but if you're here, that can't be true."
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>He laughs.
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>Oh~ that. Well, it's because I'm married."
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"What?"
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>You are about to press him further when the kitchen door is thrown open.
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>Reflexively, you cover your head and try to defend yourself.
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>…
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>"Um, Anon, what are you doing?"
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>Huh?
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>You lower your arms to see Mrs. Cake standing beside Mr. Cake.
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>Phew…
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>You exhale in relief.
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>Then you take a sharp breath as a pang rings through your chest.
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>Mr. Cake smiles at you and lets out a small chuckle.
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>"Oh, nothing dear. We were just joking with each other."
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>Nice cover Carrot.
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>"Well, sorry to interrupt you stallions."
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>Mrs. Cake looks at her husband.
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>"Dear, when you get the chance, I need your help in the kitchen."
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>She slaps Mr. Cake on his flank and walks out.
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>Mr. Cake watches his wife's flank as she leaves, biting his lip.
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>"Anon, when a stallion enters a relationship, his mare can 'claim' him."
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>"Claim?"
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>"Yes, it's a scent that lets other mares know that a stallion is spoken for."
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>Mr. Cake looks like he's having a hard time not running after his wife. He continues to stare at the kitchen door while he talks.
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>"Because of this, stallions who are married or in a long-standing relationship are allowed to stay at home during Estrus."
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>The amber earth p0ny gives you your ice cream.
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"Thanks…"
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>You still have no bits on you.
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"How much do I owe you?"
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>Mr. Cake is already blasting through the kitchen door.
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>"On the house, Anon!"
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>You'd say it was your lucky day…
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>But it wasn't.
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>As you exit the bakery, something collides with your stomach, pushing you back inside and causing you to lose your grip on the ice cream.
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>You fall to the ground, something heavy resting on your chest.
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>"Hey Anon. What are you doing?!"
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>Shit, so close.
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>You chest burns as you open your eyes, becoming aware of the mink menace shaking excitingly on top of you.
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"Hey Pinkie I-"
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*Splat*
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>Your ice cream lands on your face.
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>You wipe your eyes and see an ice cream smudge on the ceiling.
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>"Ohmygosh, Anon. I'msososososososososososorry!"
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>Pinkie leans down and begins to lick your face, cleaning some of the confectionary treat off.
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>"Mmm!"
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*Gulp*
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>Pinkie swallows audibly.
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>She speaks in a sultry voice.
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>"Salty~."
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>She assails your face with renewed vigor, slurping and sucking.
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>Oh God, no…
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>Her flat tongue laps at the sweet treat, covering you in spit.
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>Not again…
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>You struggle against Pinkie's efforts, but are held down.
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>"Just wait Anon, I'm al~most done."
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*Thump-thump*
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>You relax as she continues her assault.
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>…
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>But why?
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>…
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*Slurp* *Slurp* *Sluuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrp*
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>…
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*GULP*
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>"Ahhh~~~"
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>It sounds like she just came.
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>Pinkie sits on your chest, staring at the ceiling.
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>"Anon…"
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"Ye-Yes?"
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>"There's still ice cream on the ceiling…"
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>You blink in disbelief.
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>THAT is what she wants?!
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>Somewhere deep inside, you feel your pride crack.
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>You pick Pinkie Pie up and pitch her precariously at the ceiling.
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*Slam*
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>Pinkie's face sticks to the spot where the ice cream was.
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>Her body dangles limply, like some kind of glow worm hanging from a cave.
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*Pop*
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>Pinkie releases her suction on the ceiling.
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>She falls to the ground, performing several summersaults and landing on all fours.
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>"Ta-da!"
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>Confetti explodes out of nowhere and covers the room as Pinkie strikes a dramatic pose.
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>You just stare.
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>...
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*Beep* *Beep*
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>The noise causes you to glance at your phone.
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>10:31 AM
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>…
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>15% Battery left.
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>Shouldn't have played those games in an attempt to alleviate your depression last night.
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>Especially since it didn't help...
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>"Hey, Anon."
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>Your eyes snap back to the pink p0ny.
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"Yeah?"
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>"Are you OK? You look pretty bad… Oh no! Is it because I ate your ice cream?!"
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>She looks like she's about to cry.
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>You rush to calm her down, her tears are renowned for their plentious nature.
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"No, no. I just have a lot to do today is all."
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>You let out an exasperated sigh.
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"And I need to go see Twilight again, but…"
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>"But what?"
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>She stares intently at you.
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"She told me to stay away while she's… you know..."
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>Her head tilts quizzically to the side.
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"In Estrus."
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>Pinkie giggles.
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>"Oh right, I almost forgot! That is this week!"
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>Almost forgo-
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"Are you not-?"
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>"N~ope!"
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>She strikes another pose.
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>"My cycle isn't until next week!"
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>There's some kind of bizarre shuffle dancing going on in front of you.
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>Because Pinkie.
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>...
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"I'm done."
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>You walk to the door.
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>Pinkie follows talking about pickles and trying to draw stuff for you.
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>Before you exit she shoves a piece of paper into your face.
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>A lone "O" is displayed in the center.
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"I- I don't-"
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>She draws a slash through the "O" at an angle.
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>A Zero, maybe?
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"…"
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"I don't understand, Pinkie. I'm sure someone will, but I just don't get it."
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>With that you're bound for the library.
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>You arrive at the library a few minutes later.
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>You reach up to knock on the door, but stop yourself.
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>Will she be mad?
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>Was it just an emotional episode, or something more…
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>You knock on the door.
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>…
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>No answer.
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>You knock harder.
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"Twilight! Are you home?"
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>…
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>Still nothing.
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>You ready your fist for another round of knocking, but are halted by the sudden appearance of a blue pegasus.
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>"What's cookin', good lookin'?"
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"Rainbow…"
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>This pain in your chest…
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>Again?
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>Dash grins at you.
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>"Aren't you supposed to be helping AJ? She's going to tear you a new one!"
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"Right…"
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>You take one last longing look at the library, then leave.
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>Rainbow accompanies you on the trek to the farm.
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>Though you are talking, you pay little attention to what is said.
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>That pain has afflicted you whenever you were alone with another p0ny…
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>No…
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>MR. Cake didn't give you that pang.
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>…
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>But MRS. Cake did.
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>Could it be…
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"Mares?"
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>"What's that, Anon?"
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>Rainbow Dash hovers in front of you, staring into your eyes.
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>The smell of fresh rain washes over you.
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"Nothing, sorry."
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>You end your internal queries, choosing to converse with Dash for the rest of the journey.
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>"TWO CELESTIA DARN DAYS!"
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>Applejack was not happy about you being late again.
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>"IS IT SO HARD TO GET HERE ON TIME?!"
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>Not happy at all.
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"I'm sorry, Applejack. I've had a rough morning…"
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>"Well so have Ah."
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>She jabs your stomach, knocking the wind out of you.
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>"Ah have th' entire south orchard ta buck before next week. If Ah had your attitude, Sweet Apple Acres 'd be bankrupt quicker than a timber wolf chasing a little filly."
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>She stares you down.
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>You avert your eyes and smile awkwardly.
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"I- I'll just get to work."
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>"Yes ya will, and ya WON'T come back up from that there room till Ah say you can."
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*Thump-thump*
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>You have a sinking feeling that today is only going to get worse.
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>"Hey AJ, got a sec?"
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>Rainbow Dash talks to Applejack as you head to the cellar.
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>As you descend the stairs, you hear AJ shout.
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>"That prissy p0ny said she did WHAT?!"
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>You can't hear the rest as you close the cellar doors and head to the small office.
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>Your phone displays the time.
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>11:15 AM
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>To preserve power, you decide to shut off your phone for the time being.
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>You sigh as you sit down and begin to work.
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by Sodapop
by Sodapop
by Sodapop
by Sodapop
by Sodapop