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Horse Divorce

By MisterAnon
Created: 12th January 2021 06:30:08 PM
3rd December 2021 12:39:44 PM

  1. Inspiration from Kinderquestria thread
  2. Anon:
  3. >Anon tries to introduce the concept of divorce for his own accidental horsemarriage
  4. >ponies being ponies misinterpret it and just use as an excuse to marry their spouses again, because the first time was so great, they could go for an encore
  5.  
  6. Short Green-
  7. >Out of curiosity one day, you asked Twilight what the divorce rate was
  8. >She didn’t know what a divorce was
  9. >Nopony did
  10. >So you tried to explain it as when two ponies didn’t want to be married anymore
  11. >Twilight asked why you would want to do that
  12. >You said it was because people stopped loving each other
  13. >She just gave you a blank look and you walked away two minutes later as she processed the information
  14.  
  15. >A few days later you got an invitation
  16. >To a divorce
  17. >Twilight asked the Cakes to get divorced for research purposes
  18. >The divorce was basically just a reverse wedding ceremony
  19. >First there was the reception
  20. >Pinkie was honored to be the first divorce planner in Equestria and the party was her usual fare of balloons, cake, and dancing
  21. >After that, everypony lined up to take photos with the soon to be divorced couple
  22. >Half the town was invited so you waited at least 40 minutes before you got a chance to take a photo
  23. >You kneeled for it so that your face would actually be in the shot
  24. >Next up on the schedule was a walk to the library
  25. >Twilight dressed up in some black robes and proceeded to use technical jargon to state that the Cake marriage was to be null and void
  26. >You’re pretty sure no one attending knew why she was talking about at all
  27. >After the “I don’ts”, Twilight officially pronounced them as Mare and Stallion
  28. >Everypony cheered
  29. >You just went along with it and congratulated the newly separated couple
  30. >They seemed about as happy as they normally are
  31. >Twilight went up to you
  32. >“Looks like the divorce was a success!”
  33. “Twi, you just separated a happily married couple”
  34. >”Well yeah, you told me that was the whole point of divorces”
  35. “The whole point is that they’re suppose to leave each other”
  36. >”How long is the field trip they take from one another? Because the Cakes are suppose to get married again soon”
  37. “Wait, how soon?”
  38. >You turned your attention back to the Cake family and you see the two of them stare into each other’s eyes and say those three magical words to one another
  39. >”I love you”
  40. >The cheers of the crowd grew even wilder as everypony congratulated them on their marriage
  41. >You turn your attention back to Twilight
  42. “It’s that easy to get married here?”
  43. >”If two ponies love each other, why would getting married be hard?”
  44. >The crowd went back to the reception area
  45. >There was more cake, more music, and more dancing
  46. >Rainbow Dash caught the thrown bridal bouquet
  47. >And then promptly ate it
  48. >You turned in for the night, with some thoughts that maybe Fluttershy’s repeated declarations of “I love you” weren’t so innocent after all
  49.  
  50. >A few weeks later and your mailbox was getting filled with even increasing amount of divorce invites
  51. >Divorce-mania was sweeping the town and word was getting out into the wider nation
  52. >Married ponies everywhere were getting divorced so that they could be married again and throw wedding parties
  53. >Pinkie became the premier divorce planner
  54. >Rarity’s business was booming as so many orders for divorce and wedding dresses were coming in
  55. >Even the Apple Family was cutting a cut of the profits by creating a tradition of eating Apple pie for the divorce reception and eating cake for the wedding party right after
  56. >As you leaf through your mail, you think about all of these obligations to attend to
  57. >Filthy Rich, Big Mac, Cherry Fizzy, and Starry Eyes were just some of the ponies getting separated in the next three weeks
  58. >Twilight asked you to be her divorce date to her brother’s own separation next month
  59. >Oh, and the Cakes were going through their fourth divorce as well
  60. >You don’t even like weddings

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