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Yet Another Uninspired Anon in Equestria Story

By BlueForce
Created: 2021-03-03 20:16:29
Expiry: Never
ponyunfinished

  1. >Be anon
  2. >Hear the alarm
  3. >Be surprised your mobile phone’s alarm sounds odd
  4. >You’ve never heard it playing a Beethoven song before instead of it firing up the radio tuner for you to listen to “Juan Ramón Palacios and his toilet friends”
  5. >You try to open your eyes, but everything's still black
  6. >You have got no idea what the hell is happening, and realising you’re not in your bed but on the cold floor doesn’t help either
  7. >You hear a sweet female voice yawning and speaking softly
  8. >”I wish I could stay in bed a bit longer”
  9. >You now realise you were sleeping on the floor under your bed, which for some reason was occupied by someone else
  10. >Trying not to panic, you manage to get out of there and rush for the lights switch
  11. >When lights turn on, you see a small white and purple coloured horse in your bed absolutely shocked
  12. >The horse starts yelling
  13. >”AAAAAHHHH, WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?? WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE?”
  14. >You are left speechless and only manage to turn the lights off again
  15. >”Turn those lights on immediately!”
  16. >You obey fearfully
  17. >”I don’t know how you came into my house but you won’t steal anything from it!”
  18. >She grabs the alarm clock and throws it at you, and when it hits your face you realise this is not a dream and that you’re facing an actual talking horse
  19. “I don’t know if that Dr. Lemon had something iffy on it or if you’re for real but this is my house…
  20. >You notice the walls and furniture look pinker than usual
  21. …as odd as it looks now”
  22. >The horse gets out of bed and grabs you by your ear
  23. >”Tell me who you are immediately or I’ll call my dear friend Princess Celestia…”
  24. >She looks at your shocked face
  25. >”I was expecting a question in the style of ‘How do you know such important pony?’ but whatever. I’m going to call her to take care of a disgusting little thief like you!”
  26. “Listen… Mr. Ed. I don’t know how the hell a horse is able to talk but when I went to bed last night this was my house, that was my bed and that giant purple vase was my radio tuned to Mega 98.3, Puro Rock Nacional”
  27. >”You won’t get any ‘Puro Rock Nacional’ in my house. And frankly I don’t know how a talking pony seems strange to you, considering you’re one of them!”
  28. “Hmm?”
  29. >You check your hands and legs… they’re all green
  30. “…”
  31. “I WANT TO GO HOME!!!”
  32. >You start crying like a complete wuss while the pony starts getting weirded out
  33. >”Oh dear please calm down… I see you didn’t get to steal anything from here, if you leave right now and promise not to come back, I swear I’ll forget what’s happened here”
  34. >You keep crying like a small child
  35. >”Please, you’re going to wake up the entire town!”
  36. >The doorbell chimes
  37. >”Oh no… okay whoever you are, stay here and please oh please, take all the handkerchiefs you need to clean your face”
  38.  
  39. >You are Spike
  40. >You know Rarity is going to wake up early to plan the birthday party for Big Macintosh, so you decide to take muffins and freshly brewed coffee for both of you
  41. >You ring the bell and immediately hear crying coming from inside
  42. “Rarity??! Are you alright??!”
  43. >She opens the door and gives you a nervous look
  44. “Rarity? Who’s crying? Is Sweetie Belle alright?”
  45. >”Oh well… Wait! Sweetie Belle!! Spike, come inside, please stay in my bedroom for a bit while I go check if my sister’s okay”
  46. >”In other circumstances such an invitation would be flattering”, you think, “but at 6:30AM and with crying in the background it sounds a bit odd”.
  47. >You go inside and get into Rarity’s bedroom while she rushes to check on her sister
  48. >You find a filly with her face covered in tears
  49. “Who are you and why are you crying at my waif-my friend’s house?”
  50. >The filly looks at you and gets shocked
  51. >”This nightmare never ends!”
  52. “Hey, I'm not that ugly!”
  53. >Rarity comes back
  54. >”Thanks goodness my sister is still sleeping like a rock”
  55. “But how’s that possible with all this crying and yelling?”
  56. >”She wouldn’t fall asleep yesterday so I’ve put a pill in her warm milk”
  57. “Rarity!!”
  58. >”Well, I was tired dear… I see you’ve just met our unexpected guest”
  59. “Who is she?”
  60. >”She came from under the bed while I was about to get up”
  61. “Aha! A thief!”
  62. >”Well, that was what I thought but thankfully she didn’t get to steal anything. Now sweetheart, it’s time for you to go. We promise we won’t tell anything about this, but you should respect other ponies’ private property if you don’t want to end in prison”
  63. >The filly stares at Rarity and you with sad eyes, begging not to get kicked
  64. >”Aww look at her… Oh maybe we should let her have some breakfast before leaving”
  65. “No Rarity! What if it’s a plan to gain our trust and then steal from us?”
  66. >”What manners are those, Spike? Princess Celestia thought us to be helpful and courteous to everyone, including ponies who deviated from the right path. Everypony deserves a second chance. Come on dear, we can drink some of the coffee Spike brought us… how considerate of you to bring 3 coffee cups instead of just two”
  67. “Actually one of them was for Sweetie Belle but seeing what you gave her, she’ll probably need some Red Bull instead”
  68. >You go with the two ponies to the kitchen and leave the coffee and croissants on the table
  69. “Uh okay, why don’t you introduce yourself… friend?”
  70. >The filly gives you a shy stare
  71. >Rarity takes a good look at her and says “Oh don’t pressure her, Spike, let’s call her Anon for now”
  72. ”Why?!”
  73. >”Because she’s as green as the Annona squamosa, a green fruit seen in some parts of Equestria”
  74. >The filly looks at herself, still shocked. “I have hooves”.
  75. >You get closer to Rarity and whisper something in her ear
  76. “She wasn’t the smartest filly in kindergarten, wasn’t she?”
  77. >Rarity chuckles a bit and then says “Oh come on sweetie, let’s give her a chance… oh by the way, I had some good ideas for Big Mac’s birthday party”
  78. “I’m surprised you volunteered to make the party”
  79. >”Of course Spikey, you know how untidy Applejack’s barn always is, and the fact last year’s party was organised by Pinkie Pie didn't make things any better. Her trained bees bit me and I spent a week in the hospital… Not again, I’m going to go there, clean everything by myself and prepare a fancy party for everypony”
  80. >Anon looks at both of you, “Who’s Big Mac?”
  81. “He’s Applejack’s brother! I’m surprised you don’t know him… are you new in town?”
  82. >”Yes, actually… I am. And I wasn’t trying to steal from you or your wife’s home”
  83. >Rarity gets shocked. “Your wife?”
  84. “Let her finish, Rarity!”
  85. >”Everything was just a, uh… an unfortunate accident… I think. Please… accept my apologies… I think.”, says the filly while taking a sip of her coffee
  86. >”Oh, apologies accepted, sweetheart!”
  87. “Yes, yes, we accept them, now keep saying things about my wife. I mean, Rarity, I mean!... What if we all try these muffins?”
  88.  
  89. >You’re Anon
  90. >Actually you're not, but that's how you were named by Rarity and her odd-looking husband
  91. >You decide to go along with them
  92. >They start tidying Applejack’s barn for Big Macintosh’s birthday party
  93. >”Who’s Big Macintosh anyways? Can I eat it?”
  94. >You help them clean the barn, even if it looks quite tidy already
  95. >A funny pink-coloured pony brought you some cake to eat and made a 4-minute song about you after you told her she can call you “Anon”
  96. >This place is not so bad after all. No taxes to pay, no clothes to wear, free food…
  97. >A yellow horse comes in and starts looking at the place suspiciously
  98. >She’s wearing a hat? Hah, what’s next? Her speaking with a stereotypical Texan accent?
  99. >”Hey partners! Whatcha doin’ over there?”
  100. >…Nevermind.
  101. >”Rarity, I appreciate your effort to make a birthday party for my brother but this place is looking kinda… weird, dontcha think?”
  102. >”You mean, clean?”
  103. >Oh and who’s your friend and why is she holding a banner with “IT’S A COLT!” on it?
  104. >You look at the banner Rarity gave you which supposedly said “Happy birthday!” and feel stupid
  105. >”Rarity, it seems you grabbed the wrong decorations”, says Rarity’s… husband, it seems
  106. >”Oh no, the party is ruined now!! And so my Photo Finish’s baby shower, probably. I feel like an absolute idiot!”
  107. >She starts sobbing while everyone look at her uneasily
  108. >"Insert a comforting commentary here, please!", she says
  109. >”Calm down Rarity, it’s just my brother’s birthday, y'know how he has very mundane tastes. In fact I was about to tell you he asked Pinkie to make a flan instead of cake”
  110. >You barely know this Rarity but you already know she’s not going to like that
  111. >”Applejack! How dare you! I told you I and only I was going to be in charge of the food! Besides, what's even a flan?”
  112. >”I’m sure it would have been fantastic, but I don’t know if my brother will appreciate your radish salad with caviar dressing. And a flan is simply a dessert made with eggs, sugar, milk and vanilla. I'm surprised you haven't tried Pinkie's, it's actually quite good! Now why don’t you introduce your green fella to me?”
  113. >”Well, I found her under my bed”
  114. >”RARITY!”, exclaims this yellow pony all shocked
  115. >”Well, it’s true… Let’s say she got lost but offered herself to help us with Big Mac’s party, right, totally non-thief filly?”
  116. >You see Rarity’s husband facepalming and saying “Rarity, you’re as subtle as a bologna sandwich”
  117.  
  118. >You’re Pinkie Pie
  119. >You’re happy you've got to meet a new filly, even if you didn’t get much personal information from her
  120. >You wonder what her favourite soap opera is
  121. >You wonder if she likes soap operas at all
  122. >It’s almost 5 o’clock so you’re hurrying to take Big Mac’s birthday flan to the barn
  123. >You have no idea why someone would want a birthday flan instead of a birthday cake, maybe giving the party a Latin flavour?
  124. >Oh yay Latin stuff rocks!
  125. >And so do parties
  126. >Party party party party!
  127. >You arrive to Applejack’s barn and see your other friends surrounding Big Mac with a banner saying “IT’S [strikethrough] BIGMAC’SBIRTHD-“ behind them
  128. “Hi guys! Happy birthday, Big Mac!”
  129. >Big Mac smiles at you and the others greet you, save for that lone mysterious green filly
  130.  
  131. >You are Anon
  132. >You still wonder how you managed to eat Rarity’s hay canapé without getting indigestion
  133. >In fact they were delicious even if you have never ever tried hay before
  134. >You also wonder if this McDonald horse was born voiceless or he’s just really shy
  135. >He is quite handsome though, you wouldn’t mind feeding him some hay by himself
  136. >Oh dear, what's wrong with you?
  137. >You are approached by the (apparently drug-addicted) pink pony who sang for you earlier
  138. >And she’s bringing some home-made flan! Not that instant rubbish from the supermarket
  139. >She starts approaching you again
  140. >”Oh I hope she’s sober now”
  141. >”OH HEY ANON, MY FRIEND RARITY TOLD ME YOUR NAME IS ANON, ISN’T SHE THE BEST? AND SHE DRESSES SO WELL, DO YOU LIKE FLAN? OH AND WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE SOAP OPERA? WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING? DO YOU WANT TO GO SEE THE WONDERBOLTS?”
  142. >You need a painkiller ASAP
  143. >Maybe she’s so entertained yelling that she won’t notice if you move somewhere else
  144. >You can’t take your eyes off Big Mac
  145. “Uh, hey, uh… Big Mac, right?”
  146. >”Eeyup!”
  147. “Happy birthday, big boy!”
  148. >Big Mac’s sister, Applejack, approaches you and she’s not happy
  149. >”Hold your horses cowgirl, only I can call Big Mac ‘big boy’”
  150. “Excuse me dear, you’re not his wife, you’re just his sister”
  151. >Applejack stares at you angrily and you fear the worst
  152. >”Did you just call me the ‘S word’”?
  153. “Well, I…”
  154. >”You should know that nopony has the right to talk to me that way, specially one who came out from under Rarity’s sheets”
  155. >Everyone looks at Rarity shocked
  156. >She starts sweating. “It’s an expression!”, she says
  157. >Big Mac starts getting nervous
  158. “For your information, ‘cowgirl’, I had been sleeping peacefully in my house back in Lomas de Zamora when suddenly I showed up in this… pony town or whatever. I have nothing against you or anyone here but I won’t tolerate being insulted by someone who wears a hat like that”
  159. >”Break her muzzle, dear”, says an old green pony with an apple pie tattooed on her flank
  160. >”Granny Smith!!”, you see Rarity screaming
  161. >”What? I’m just trying to spice up this boring party”
  162. >”Then throw some pepper on it but don’t make them kill each other!”
  163. >”As you wish, granny!”, says Applejack before grabbing you by the ear
  164. “OUCH!! Not from the ear again!”
  165. >Everyone starts begging Applejack to stop but before any pony can stop her, Big Mac grabs you, mounts you on him and runs away from the party
  166. “Oh my God, I’m riding an actual horse!! A red horse, no less!”
  167. >”Eeyup!”
  168. >”Big Mac, come back here immediately! I haven’t finished her!”, says Applejack while her friends try to stop her from running behind you
  169.  
  170. >You are anon and you’re at the edge of a small lake with the hot red horse Big Mac
  171. >He’s been the best part of this bizarre day
  172. >You wonder if he’s able to pronounce an entire sentence
  173. >You look at him
  174. “This is the time when you tell me why you brought me here and/or how attractive you think I am”
  175. >He smiles at you and kisses your muzzle instead
  176. “Ooh you naughty boy”
  177. >You kiss him back
  178. >You start fondling his hair and French kissing him
  179. >Exchanging saliva with a horse has never felt so good
  180. >”Put your hands away from my brother!”
  181. >You get scared and quickly stop all the kissing
  182. >You see Applejack coming angrily at you
  183. “May I help you?"
  184. >”Who do you think you are? First you insult me and then you kiss my brother! What are you trying to do?”
  185. “Okay dear please calm down; it’s obvious you’re a bit nervous because you haven’t eaten dinner…
  186. >You look at Big Mac
  187. “…like, never”
  188. >Big Mac starts chuckling but quickly stops when he sees his sister’s angry face
  189. “Listen, I just want to have fun, and it’s not like I forced your brother to bring me here”
  190. >”Okay, Big Macintosh, explain yourself!”
  191. >”Uh...”
  192. >”No! I don’t want to hear a word from you! Tell me immediately who you are, ‘Anon’”
  193. “Okay, okay, the truth is, I’m not from this world… I’m not even a horse. I come from planet Earth, more specifically from a country called Argentina. I’m actually a human being, last night I went to bed after watching ‘Mejor de noche’ and when I woke up I was under Rarity’s bed”
  194. >”That’s the lamest excuse I’ve ever heard! I should ask Princess Celestia to check if you’re not on a Most Wanted Criminals list just to be sure… and Big Mac, put your hooves away from her!”
  195. >Big Mac grabs you and says “Nnope!”
  196. “Well honey, the horse has spoken… well, kind of”
  197.  
  198. >You’re Applejack and you’re quite angry
  199. >You’re with Rarity at Twilight’s home trying to find anything remotely related to this Anon filly on her library
  200. >”I’m sorry Applejack, but I can’t find anything remotely related to that place called ‘Argentina’ that Anon mentioned”, says Twilight while checking her books
  201. “I knew that filly was lying! And I bet she has some magic powers she’s been hiding, that’s the only explanation to my brother’s behaviour”
  202. >”That or maybe Big Mac is actually in love. I mean, he’s a teen”, says Rarity with an oddly calm voice
  203. “You know Rarity, I’m surprised you’re so calm, considering this filly ruined the party you organised”
  204. >”I know, sweetheart, it's just that I’m very drunk”
  205. “I need to convince Big Mac that filly is not for him!”
  206. >Twilight looks at you a bit worried, “Eh, Applejack, aren’t you being a bit overprotective with your brother?”
  207. “’Overprotective’ my hooves! Celestia knows what that pesky little filly is thinking to do to my brother”
  208. >”Wait a minute… you mentioned she’d told you she came from another world and that she was… a human being, right?”
  209. “Exactly… Equestria’s most used excuse”
  210. >”Hmm… we should go to the newspaper library, I want to check something. Eh, you can go rest, Rarity”
  211. >”Of course not, I want to help you guys find out more about the pony who’s staying in my house!”
  212. “You know, nobody’s forcing you to lodge her at your place”
  213. >”Well, I don’t want to be a bad hostess. And also, I’m going with you, and that’s final!”
  214. >10 minutes later Twilight and you are checking newspapers at the newspaper library
  215. “Good thing we left Rarity watching ‘Big Colt Brother’ at your place”
  216. >Twilight carefully checks headlines from a couple of years ago
  217. >”Here it is! Look at this Equestria Daily article”
  218. “Let me see. Oh, yes! I remember this. ‘Valiant dog saves the day. Peppi, a three-year-old Chihuahua saved a family of six after—“
  219. >”Not that one! This one: ‘A mysterious visitor arrives at the Crystal Empire”. It says another green filly showed up out of nowhere in the Crystal Empire. Before being taken to interrogation, she was allegedly telling everyone she came from ‘Argentina’, an unknown city. The only thing she could tell this reporter about this place was about the popularity of something called ‘¡Qué mañana!’ and how inhabitants of that place enjoyed dancing to tropical music, whatever that is’”
  220. “I’m surprised that Shining Armor or Princess Cadance have never told us about that incident. What do you think that happened to her?”
  221. >”Well, there’s only one way to find out”
  222.  
  223. >You’re Anon, and you’re quite pissed that you were forced to stay at “Twilight Sparkle”’s home (what kind of name is that?)
  224. >You became fond of that alcoholic pony
  225. >Now you have to stay with Twilight’s weird looking purple friend, which turned not to be Rarity's husband after all
  226. >Well, he’s not too bad looking; he looks like a small dragon
  227. >Twilight looks at you while she closes her suitcase
  228. >”Okay Anon, I’m going to see my brother and in the meantime you can stay here with Spike and my friend Starlight”
  229. “It’s not fair! Why can’t I stay with Rarity?”
  230. >”Did someone say my name?”, says Rarity showing up with a tray full of food
  231. >”Rarity, what are you doing?”
  232. >”I’m supposed to be the hostess! I’m always the hostess, not you! And she was my visit, not yours!”
  233. “Oh Rarity, it wasn’t necessary for you to bring—FOIE GRASE SANDWICHES?? Oh my God, I love you!”
  234. >”Rarity!”, Twilight tries to make her leave her house
  235. >”Okay, okay, I’m leaving… call me, Anon!”
  236. >”Anyways… Anon, I’m leaving, I’ll be back soon. Please behave and stay away from Big Macintosh, Applejack wasn’t happy last time I saw her”
  237. “Okay, okay, I promise”
  238. >Twilight leaves and you stay with Spike, who seems shy and a bit uncomfortable
  239. >”Eh… uh, and what do you like to do in your free time?”
  240. “Reading comics, travelling, watching TV… And what about you, handsome?”
  241. >”Well, I… Wait, did you just call me ‘handsome’?”
  242. “Yes… you know, I’ve always found your species especially captivating…”
  243. >You start getting closer to him, almost touching his muzzle
  244. ”In fact, I think you’re very sensual… sexy… sex”
  245. >”Starlight! Could you please come here for a bit?”
  246. >You hear a voice from another room saying “In a minute, Spike, I’m in the bathroom!”
  247. “Great idea, Spike. You know what they say: two’s a company but three… that’s much more fun”
  248. >”For the love of Celestia, you’re insane!”
  249. >Spike runs away and you sigh
  250. >“Well, that’ll give me a few minutes for myself”, you think while lying on the sofa
  251.  
  252. >You are Twilight Sparkle and you’re talking to your brother
  253. “I can’t believe you’ve never told us about a pony showing up from nowhere”
  254. >”Well, I didn’t think it was worth mentioning!”
  255. >”Not worth mentioning?”, says an angry Applejack, “Another one of those tried to exchange fluids with my lil’ bro”
  256. >”The guards took care of the filly… Frankly, I don’t know what happened to her, but I know she was interrogated. We could check if we still have the recordings”
  257. “Yes, I would thank you if you can do that for us! Since that filly showed up under Rarity’s bed--“
  258. >”Excuse me?”
  259. “I’ll explain later. As I was saying, since she came up from nowhere, Ponyville is upside down. Rarity is going crazy for Celestia knows what reason, Bic Mac’s hormones are out of control...”
  260. >”Okay, okay, you two calm down, let’s see if we can find a reasonable explanation on these recordings”
  261.  
  262. >The three of you are in a small room which has an old cassette player on a wooden table
  263. >Shining Armor hits Play with a hoof and tinny voices start coming from the speaker
  264. >The voice of one of the royal guards is heard saying “Good evening, Miss…”
  265. >”Alfredo Gutierrez”
  266. >”Miss Alfredo Gutierrez--"
  267. >"Mister Alfredo Gutierrez", the filly says harshly but with a clearly feminine voice
  268. >"If you say so... Normally Captain Shining Armor is in charge of interrogations, but since he’s unavailable I’ll be doing it”
  269. >”Right, I remember now”, says Shining Armor, “This was around the time of my wedding, the changeling that passed as Cadance made me watch a marathon of ‘Colt Whisperer’”
  270. >You continue listening to the recording
  271. >”Could you tell us how did you arrive here?”
  272. >”I've already told you, I was sleeping at home and when I woke up, I was under that guy’s bed!”
  273. >”Could you tell us where you come from, Miss?”
  274. >”Argentina. And again, I'm not a 'miss', I'm a 18 year old man”
  275. “This can not be a coincidence”
  276. >"Yes, I see, you're totally a... man. Anyways, could you explain the meaning of your cutie mark?”
  277. >”I don’t know what a cutie mark is! But if you’re talking about the question mark in my body, well, I have no idea what it is, just like I have no idea of why I’m a horse!”
  278. >”I’ll be damned, Twilight, this pony is like a twin of our little troublemaker! Where is she now, Shining Armor?”
  279. >”Well, she wasn’t considered to be a danger so—“
  280. >”Hah! You should had left her around other male horses for a while and you would have changed your mind”
  281.  
  282. >Applejack and you spent the entire day looking for a green filly called “Alfredo Gutierrez”
  283. >You’re really exhausted
  284. >What’s worse, nobody seems to know where she might be, since the guards released her shortly after the interrogation
  285. >”Hey Twilight, I know it’s a long shot, but what if we visit Sunburst? He might know a spell to find her”
  286. “I doubt so, but I guess we have nothing to lose”
  287. >Both of you arrive to Sunburst’s home and knock the door
  288. >He comes out, “Twilight Sparkle? Applejack? What a pleasant surprise!”
  289. “Thanks Sunburst, do you mind if we come in for a bit?”
  290. >”Sure! Oh wait… is this related to the book I forgot to return to the library? It fell in my bathtub and it got all wet. I tried to dry it but—“
  291. >”This has nothin’ to do with a book Sunburst! We need help with a problem”
  292. >”Oh well, in this case, come in! Oh boy… you look terrible. Uh sorry, no offence!”
  293. “It’s okay, Sunburst, we do look terrible. We’ve been looking all day for a certain filly”
  294. >”Did she commit a crime or something?”
  295. “Well, not really—“
  296. >”Not really?”, says Applejack, “What about ruining my brother’s birthday party?”
  297. “Applejack, not everything is about you!”
  298. >”Whaat?? For your information—“
  299. >”Excuse me girls… Eh, I haven’t got a clue of what you’re talking about but if you need to find someone we could try to find a spell on my new computer”
  300. “A computer?”
  301. >”Yes, thanks for asking! I built it myself, with pieces I took from an old TV, several broken phones, and old police equipment I sto—found in the woods”
  302. >Applejack comes closer to you and whispers something in your ears: “Twilight do we really need him? Like, if the filly is too much trouble, we can always send her to Fillyberia”
  303. >Sunburst brings a small black laptop and turns it on, making it display a sober command line
  304. >”Okay, let’s see… we need a spell to find a lost filly.”
  305. >Sunburst types FINDSPELL WHEREABOUTS LOST FILLY
  306. >Command line reads: 2 RESULTS FOUND
  307. >”Hmm let’s see, we have two spells available, which are almost the same. I say almost, because one of them will turn her into an almond”
  308. “Well, Sunburst, it’s quite obvious which one we’ll use. Right, Applejack?”
  309. >”Is that almond edible?”
  310. “Applejack! Don’t listen to her… just locate her for us, please”
  311.  
  312. >You’re Rarity and you’re having some tea while reading Equestria Daily
  313. >Sweetie Belle is drinking milk with you while watching cartoons on TV
  314. >”Eh excuse me Rarity”
  315. “Yes, dear?”
  316. >”The teacher told us to read a book for a project, but I couldn’t find the film on Ponyflix… do you know anything about the Great Colt War of 1929?”
  317. “Uh yes dear… it is quite the sad story. It all started because of MOTHER OF CELESTIA!”
  318. >”Celestia’s mother started it all?”
  319. >You find a photo of you in page 11 of Equestria Daily with a headline saying “A little big surprise found under one of the Mane 6’s bed”
  320. >You start reading aloud
  321. “’It has come to Equestria Daily’s attention that an unexpected visitor came to Ponyville – not by train but from under Rarity’s bed. How did she get there? That’s something not even this adorable visitor, a filly known as ‘Anon’ was able to explain. She told this journalist that she comes from a place called Argentina, that she’s dating none less than Big Macintosh, Applejack’s brother and that Rarity is the most loving hostess one could ask for”. I’m going to be everypony’s laughing stock!’”
  322. >Spike comes running to your house and loudly closes the door
  323. ”Spike, are you alright?”
  324. >You hear Anon’s voice saying “Spike! Where are you, it’s time for our bubble bath!”
  325. >”Please guys, help me, help me so much!”
  326. “Go hide upstairs!”
  327. >”Thanks!”, says Spike while running away
  328. >You open the door and find Anon in front of it
  329. >”Oh hi Rarity, have you seen Spike?”
  330. “Sorry sweetie, I think he might have gone to the other side”
  331. >”Oh well… Oh, do I smell pancakes with blueberry sauce?”
  332. “No”
  333. >”Could I?”, says Anon while staring at you
  334. “Aaagh, come in”
  335.  
  336. >You’re Rarity and you’re peacefully sleeping in your bedroom
  337. >You hear the doorbell
  338. >”Who could it be at… 4:11AM?!”
  339. >You check the peephole and see Twilight and Applejack absolutely exhausted
  340. >You open the door
  341. “Twilight, Applejack! What are you doing here at this hour??!”
  342. >”We took the last train from the Crystal Empire to Ponyville”, says Twilight
  343. >”We were delayed because of the explosion at Sunburst’s house”
  344. “An explosion?!”
  345. >”Yes”, says Applejack, “he made his computer play Macarena 5 times in a row and it couldn’t resist the torture, so it self-destroyed”
  346. >”Rarity, can we come in? We have news”
  347. “Sure, do tell”
  348. >Your friends come inside your house
  349. >They tell you everything about the interrogation tape and the Sunburst’s spell
  350. >”The thing is that the spell showed us that filly is right here, in Ponyville!”
  351. “Great, just what we needed… God knows what that filly is doing here”
  352.  
  353. >You’re Alfredo Gutierrez, AKA “Anon”
  354. >It took you a while and you had to travel by train as a stowaway but you managed to reach Ponyville
  355. >Here is the place where that pony who is identical to you must live, and she’s your only chance to return to Buenos Aires
  356. >Minding travelling by train without paying might be prosecuted here, you also stole a hat and a towel to precariously cover that awful-looking question mark in one of your flanks
  357. >You carefully asked some innocent-looking pony where to find Rarity and you were directed to a place called “Carousel Boutique”
  358. >You reach the place at dusk
  359. >You almost get diabetes just by looking at it
  360. >You fearfully knock on the door
  361. >What seems to be Rarity (that Equestria Daily newspaper was printed in black and white) comes out and doesn’t seem surprised of seeing you
  362. >“Oh honey, what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be having dinner with Twilight?”
  363. “Uh… Uh right! Dinner at Twilight’s house, how could I forgot? Eh, well, I’m heading over her house now…”
  364. >She whispers at you: “Two blocks down and one to the right”
  365. “Thanks”
  366.  
  367. >You close the door and feel relieved
  368. “Okay, nothing happened here… let Twilight take care of this”
  369. >Spike comes through the workroom’s door
  370. >”It seems Rarity made a naughty thing in the kitchen! Now she’ll have to clean it by herself”, says the dragon in a mocking way
  371. “I have no idea what you’re talking about… and to be honest I didn’t know you were here either”
  372. >”I was playing Colt Simulator with your sister… Rarity, you know that wasn’t our Anon, but the one who escaped from the Crystal Empire”
  373. “How the heck do you know so much?”
  374. >”I gave Applejack a ticket for Bruce Colsteen and she spoke like a parrot”
  375.  
  376. >You, Anon, are enjoying dinner at Twilight’s castle while she talks non-stop about chemistry
  377. >You pretend to care about what she says, saying the occasional “aha”
  378. >Suddenly you see a strange face from one of the windows
  379. >You realise that face is not strange at all, it looks a lot like yours
  380. >The stranger waves and smiles at you
  381. >You feel shocked, even more when she shows you her question mark tattooed in one of her flanks
  382. “Dear mother of God!”
  383. >”What”, says Twilight
  384. “Uh… Well, I never thought the boiling point of table salt was so high!”
  385. >”I know, right? Anyways, as I was saying…”
  386. >You wait a few seconds for Twilight to be lost on her monologue again and then you leave the table, heading to the door and just barely opening it
  387. “Who the hell are you?”
  388. >”I’m from Argentina too, my name is Alfredo Gutierrez”
  389. “Dear God, quick, come with me!”
  390. >You grab your partner by one of her hooves and quickly start running through the castle towards your room
  391. “Oh Claudia I know this is not the right moment or place, but can we take a selfie?”
  392. >”Well, do you have a phone?”
  393. “I… was expecting you to have one”
  394. >”If you think I would be able to have a mobile phone in this strange world… you’re right. Smile!”
  395. >The filly takes a mobile out of her flank and gets a selfie of both of you
  396. >"GREEN HORSES HANGIN' UP"
  397. >Yep, that goes straight to your WhatsApp status
  398. >You eventually reach the bedroom Twilight gave you for the time being
  399. >She tells you her story
  400. “I can’t believe this… How are we supposed to get back home?”
  401. >”I’m afraid I haven't got a clue… We should try to stay together for now, if only to support each other”
  402. “Excuse me, but what is Twilight Sparkle—“
  403. >The other filly starts chuckling
  404. “I know, ridiculous name. But what will she say when she see a clone of me in my bedroom showing up from nowhere?”
  405. >”Oh you mean, that purple unicorn… I saw her in the newspaper, she looks like a problem”
  406. >Spike starts knocking, “Anon, open this door immediately”
  407. ”Can’t a girl have some privacy?”
  408. >”I know there is another like you, Twilight won’t like this!”
  409. “Hide under my bed!”
  410. >He complies and you open the door with a poker face
  411. “May I help you?”
  412. >”Anon, please tell me what’s happening”
  413. “I don’t know what you’re talking about”
  414. >”Achoo!”
  415. >”Okay, lady, get out of there”
  416. >The filly comes from under the bed just as Twilight is coming
  417. >”Anon, where are—Oh my!”
  418. “Stand still, maybe she didn’t see you”
  419. >”Sunburst’s spell was right, you were here… Welcome to Ponyville, I’m Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Friendship”
  420. >The newcomer shyly greets the princess
  421. >”Look, it’s getting late, what do you think if I take you to your bedroom so you can have some rest? Tomorrow I’ll introduce you to my friends, I’m sure they’ll be happy to meet you”
  422.  
  423. >Very early the next morning, you, Twilight Sparkle, are talking to Applejack about the newcomer while she gets ready to pick up some apples
  424. >”I’ll kill her!”
  425. “What?! Applejack, she did nothing bad to you”
  426. >”She came from who knows what planet to the Crystal Empire and then ran like a devil up to here, it’s obvious she’s looking for some Earth pony bing-bing. If she comes anywhere close to my Big Mac, she’d better be prepared to feel my rake on her flank!”
  427. “You’re an adult; you can call it by its real name, Applejack. And no, she’s not coming to have any bang-bang”
  428. >”Excuse me, ladies…”, says Rarity
  429. “Rarity, what are you doing awake so early?”
  430. >”I could listen to Applejack’s complains from my bedroom. Anyways, I've got an idea that might at least ease the problems these fillies are causing over here”
  431. "Well, what is it?", you ask while Applejack's eyes glow
  432. >"Since Anon came here she has been doing nothing but watching TV and stalking Spike. I take the other is no different since they come from the same place... well, the other one is not very interested on Spike but she does watch TV a lot. I was thinking we could send them to participate on the new talent show Canterlot's Channel 1 is producing. That will give us time to think how to send them back to their home"
  433. >Applejack looks totally on board with the idea of getting rid of the green fillies but you're in doubt
  434. "Don't you think they might cause problems there? Princess Celestia and Princess Luna might not be happy to have them so close to them"
  435. >"That's the idea, darling. Let them deal with them, they'll know what to do"
  436. "Well... I guess it wouldn't hurt"
  437. >"Absolutely! I think it'll be the best for everyone!", yells Applejack
  438.  
  439. >"I DON'T WANT ANON TO LEAVE!"
  440. >You brother Big Macintosh wouldn't stop crying
  441. >It's the first time you see him in this state, and it's not nice
  442. >It doesn't help he decided to wear a black suit for no reason
  443. "Big Mac, there's nothing you can do about it! Your friend Anon likes TV more than you!
  444. >Your brother starts crying louder
  445. "Maybe saying that wasn't a good idea... Come on, brother, take off that weird clothing, let's go for a walk!"
  446. >"Nope! I need to mourn!... Besides the black helps look less fat"
  447. >Big Mac grabs a chocolate bar and eats it in 3 seconds, without needing to chew
  448. >"And boy I'll need it!"
  449.  
  450. >You and your identical twin are sitting on a train to Canterlot
  451. >You were hastily forced to leave Ponyville without saying goodbye to Big Mac or anyone else
  452. >Twilight and Rarity gave you money, clothing and food but you feel bad for leaving so abruptly
  453. >You stare at the window and try not to think about these ponies
  454. >Will you ever get to see them again?
  455. >It doesn't help the train looks like a mobile kindergarten, with pink and yellow seats
  456. >The few other ponies travelling are minding their own business
  457. >Your partner is listening music on a Walkman he bought for a few bits in a store before taking the train
  458. >You poke him and he quickly takes his earphones off
  459. >"Is everything okay?"
  460. "I... I'll miss Ponyville"
  461. >"Aww, don't be sad. We're gonna have so much fun in Canterlot, whatever that place is"
  462. "How do you manage to be so happy?"
  463. >"Look, they practically kicked us by force so it was better for us not to fight back. In my humble opinion, we have money and food and we're headed to a talent show. Who know, we might have fun, and if we don't... We'll back"
  464. "How can you be so sure that we'll be able to go back?"
  465. >"Look, I ran all the way from that place called The Crystal Empire to Ponyville just to find you. I can do it again if I want. In the meantime, let's have all fun we can. Want a chocolate?", he says while putting a candy bar in front of your nose
  466. >You cannot help but chuckling
  467. "Hehe, no thanks. By the way, shouldn't we think of a name for you? As much as I love seeing other horses' faces when you tell them you're called Alfredo"
  468. >"Well, what do you suggest?", Alfredo says while chewing some chocolate
  469. "What about... Enigma?"
  470. >"Why Enigma?"
  471. "Duh! Look at your rear. You have a question mark just like me"
  472. >"Geese! My parents would kill me if they saw me having a tattoo... Not that it matters since I'm already 18 though!"
  473. >You cannot help but chuckling again... You truly feel a bit better with him around

Yout Title Goes Here

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