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Where Satan Reigns, A Poor Devil Can't Prevail

By BlueForce
Created: 2021-03-03 20:24:28
Expiry: Never
ponyunifinished

  1. >You are Anonymous
  2. >You wake up in your bed, like you do every morning
  3. >You immediately hear the sweet sound of the birds outside of your house
  4. >You open your eyes and be greeted by the warm rays of sun outside your window
  5. >It seems the weather will be by your side today
  6. >You get up without rushing. It’s Sunday, after all
  7. >You put on your sandals and soon you realize your bedroom looks a bit different
  8. >It looks a bit more girly and cartoony than usual
  9. >You take a peek outside the door
  10. >You don’t recall having that many bedrooms and such a large corridor in your house
  11. >Could it be that something happened to you and this might be some sort of hospital?
  12. “Hello?”, you say to the air and get no response
  13. >You decide to take a walk around, hoping nobody gets shocked at seeing a stranger wearing pajamas and sandals
  14. >You cannot help but lament you won’t be able to drink your daily cappuccino made by your Dolce Gusto machine
  15. >You get close to the end of the corridor, and a large room lies ahead
  16. >You hear two voices chatting
  17. >You try to stand still and listen
  18. >”Geese, Princess Celestia, I still can’t believe you came back so soon from your holiday”
  19. >”To be quite honest, I missed you all… That spa was a bit lonely, specially during this time of the year, where almost nobody goes… Just because I’m the princess doesn’t mean I like to be isolated from other ponies”
  20. >”Oh, you’re right”
  21. >”So tell me, Starlight, where is Twilight?”
  22. >You dare taking a peek to see who’s talking
  23. >...
  24. >You rub your eyes and then take another look
  25. >They actually look like horses
  26. >”She’ll be back in a minute, she went to call the others…”
  27. >You try not to panic and focus on getting out of here
  28. >You think you might be able to escape through some alternate exit if you manage to cross the main room without making noise
  29. >You manage to avoid panicking and slowly start crawling through the room, as quietly as possible
  30. >Since you can’t take your eyes off the horse duo, you don’t realize you’re pushing a vase and quickly several of them are falling to the floor in a domino effect
  31. >You just stay there, incapable of doing or saying anything, hoping for a miracle to happen
  32. >The two horses look at you, and they seem as shocked as you
  33.  
  34. >A few minutes later, you’re locked in a dark prison
  35. >You cannot help but crying and wonder how you ended in here
  36. >You stand up and look at the sad panorama around you
  37. “Oh, and now, who will defend me?”
  38. >A man dressed in a red suit with antennas on his head and a yellow heart on the chest shows up from nowhere
  39. >”Me, the Chapulín Colorado!”
  40. “Great, Chapulín! You’re the maximum!”
  41. >You start wondering why he stands still without saying anything
  42. “Is there something wrong, Chapulín?”
  43. >”No, I’m just waiting for the opening to start”
  44.  
  45. More agile than a turtle!
  46. Stronger than a mouse!
  47. Nobler than a lettuce!
  48. And his shield is a heart
  49. He’s the Chapulín Colorado!
  50.  
  51. Starred by the super comedian, Ariel Rodríguez Palacios!
  52. Guest starring of Anonymous, Princess Celestia and Starlight Glimmer as themselves
  53. Directed by: Enrique Segoviano
  54.  
  55. Today we present an episode aptly called: “It’s not the same ‘James loves horse riding’ than ‘Horses love riding James’”
  56.  
  57. “Chapulín, you have to help me! I was arrested for breaking a bunch of 1000-year-old vases from the princess’ castle”
  58. >”Geese! They’re really harsh around here, it was about time for those vases to retire after all!”
  59. “That’s what I told the princess but they still locked me here”
  60. >You start sobbing
  61. >”Calm, calm, pont’s danic, the Chapulín Colorado is here to defend you”
  62. “But that isn’t the worst part, Chapulín. The princess is a horse!”
  63. >”Don’t be disrespectful”
  64. “No, Chapulín, I mean she’s an actual horse”
  65. >He looks at you, not quite understanding what you mean
  66. >”A horse, but a horse, horse?”
  67. “Yes, a horse, horse”
  68. >”A horse, horse, horse?”
  69. “Yes, a horse, horse, horse”
  70. >”But a horse, horse, horse, horse?”
  71. “Yes, Chapulín!”
  72. >He takes a cup from the floor and examines it
  73. >”They shouldn’t give the prisoners alcohol”
  74. “No, Chapulín, that isn’t alcohol… those are my tears. I’ve been crying my eyes out”
  75. >”But how can you say the princess is a horse, for Pete’s sake? Look, first let me throw this thing out…”
  76. >The hero throws your tears towards his left side, not seeing the guard coming to check in the prisoner
  77. >The guard’s face is left totally covered in your tears
  78. >”What are you doing?! Don’t you have eyes?!”
  79. >The Chapulín realizes the guard is an actual horse and he’s left in shock
  80. >”Oh dear, it seems I started drinking too early today!”
  81. >The guard leaves in silence, trying to contain his anger
  82. “See? I told you, Chapulín, everyone here is a horse”
  83. >The hero shrugs and tries to avoid panicking
  84. >”Okay, we have to get out of here”
  85. “Yes, but how?”
  86. >”That’s easy: I take one of my Chiquitilin pills to become small and then I go out to look for a key. After that we’ll investigate what the heck is going out in here”
  87. >He takes a small bottle out of his pocket and takes one of the pills inside it. He promptly becomes tiny, no more than 5 cm. tall
  88. “You’re the maximum, Chapulín”
  89. >”Now I’ll go find the way out. Follow me the good ones!”
  90. >The hero easily gets out of the cage by walking between the bars
  91. >He approaches the jail’s door but before he can do anything, it opens violently, sending him straight to the wall
  92. >You cannot help but hope for him to be still alive
  93. >The purple pony who was with the princess when you got arrested comes in
  94. >”I’m so glad I could find you!”
  95. “Please tell me the queen said I can go home”
  96. >”Well, she’s a princess and not exactly… In fact she doesn’t know I’m here, but I feel responsible for you being here”
  97. “How so?”
  98. >”Well, mostly because the idea of putting those vases in such a dangerous place was mine, and also because I broke them myself the other day and used a very hastily-made spell to fix them. I’m sorry!”
  99. “I don’t think my brain can take so much information in so little time”, you say while rubbing your head
  100. >”And also, I need you because--”
  101. >The horse interrupts her conversation with you to let out a scream
  102. >”They didn’t count with my cunning”, says the tiny Chapulín just after biting the one of the mare’s hooves
  103. >”Wh-What in Celestia’s name is this??”
  104. “No, Chapulín, she’s not evil… well, I think she isn’t”
  105. >”I’m so sorry!”, says the hero looking at the mare from the floor, “I’m the Chapulín Colorado, world’s greatest hero! And I came to help my friend… What’s your name, by the way?”
  106. >The purple mare can’t take her eyes off the Chapulín
  107. “I’m Anonymous”
  108. >”I’m Starlight Glimmer… and you seem a bit too small to be the world’s greatest hero”
  109. >”That’s because I took my Chiquitilin pills to become smaller. I was trying to find a way to get out of here”
  110. >”Well, look no further, because the guard lent me his keys”
  111. “Lent you?”
  112. >”Actually I asked him to go guard the castle’s door and I took the keys while he wasn’t seeing, but still”
  113. >Starlight opens the jail’s door and you run towards it
  114. >You pick the Chapulín from the floor
  115. “Thanks!”
  116. >”Yes, thanks, and sorry for having bitten you”
  117. >”Hehe, it’s alright. Now let’s get out of here as soon as possible, you’ll understand why when we’re outside”
  118.  
  119. >Once you three find your way out, the gentle sun and warm temperature, coupled with the nice view, relaxes you if only a bit
  120. >You still want to go home and try to forget you were in a place full of talking horses
  121. >”Is it normal that I want to sing for no reason?”, asks the Chapulín, interrupting your contemplation
  122. >”Don’t worry, that’s normal around here. But there’s something abnormal in plain sight, can you guess what is it?”
  123. “The talking horses!”, the hero and you say at the same time, prompting Starlight Glimmer to roll her eyes
  124. >”What if I tell you it’s midday?”
  125. ”I’d tell you it looks like it was 8 AM”
  126. >”Exactly! The sun should be much higher!”
  127. “So what? Do you want me to write a complain letter to The Sun?”
  128. >”Princess Celestia, the one ‘talking horse’ who sent you to prison, controls the rise of the sun here. If the sun hasn’t moved since she showed up for a surprise visit this morning that means--”
  129. >Suddenly the Chapulín returns back to his normal size, and since he was sitting in your right hand you’re now laying on the floor in excruciating pain
  130. >The hero quickly realizes he’s standing on your hand and moves away, then tries to help you getting up
  131. >”Sorry, sorry! I didn’t want to interrupt Starlight so I couldn’t tell you the effect of the Chiquitilin pills was about to end”
  132. >You let out some muffled cursing while holding your hand and trying to stand the pain
  133. >”How could I have been so stupid? My friends are nowhere to be found, and Celestia has never sent anyone to prison so harshly… Oh, and now, who could help me?”
  134. >”Me!”, yells the Chapulín
  135. >Starlight and you exchange glances
  136. “Oh, and now, who could help us?”, you say at the same time
  137. >”They take advantage of my nobility”, the hero says in disgust
  138.  
  139. >In a dark cavern, a bunch of changelings are talking or just pacing around the place
  140. >In the middle of it, there are nine pods, being occupied by… yes, Equestria’s Mane 6 plus Spike, Celestia and Luna
  141. >”I don’t know about you, but this is the second time this year we’ve been in this situation and to be honest I’m a bit tired of it”, says Rarity
  142. >Twilight can’t hide his concern
  143. >”What is Chrysalis even planning? She already got us”
  144. >”SILENCE!”, a changeling screams at the group
  145. >”If ah weren’t locked here ah would give you a lesson, you stinkin’ changeling”
  146. >”But you are, honey, you are!”, replies the monster before letting out a horselaugh
  147.  
  148. >Starlight, the Chapulín and Anon are standing outside the Castle of Friendship and talking
  149. ”The princess is actually an impostor? That has less sense than a videogame made by Klace”
  150. >”Oh, so you’re standing right in front of a talking pony yet you find it hard to believe that Chrysalis has kidnapped all my friends?”
  151. >”Calm down, pon’t danic”, says the Chapulín while getting between the two of you, “Remember how the old saying goes: ‘Don’t look a gift shoemaker’s son who is barefooted’”
  152. >Glimmer and you seem confused
  153. >”Better said: ‘The shoemaker's son always has a horse in the mouth’... No, no, sorry, it is: ‘A horse has a gifted mouth… because any horse that can talk is gifted… and the shoemaker’s son… is its master… and he is barefooted… because nobody gave him any shoes.’ Well, that’s the idea”
  154. “Don’t worry, Chapulín, I understand”
  155. >”You do?! Then please explain it to me!”, the hero asks enthusiastically
  156. “Yes, you’re saying you’ll go talk to Princess Celestia and check if she’s an impostor or not”
  157. >”Please take care, Chapulín, eh!”
  158. >”They take advantage of my nobility… Okay, I’ll do it. Follow me the good ones!”
  159. >The hero takes two steps toward the castle’s entrance but then stops abruptly
  160. >”Yes, I’ll go…”
  161. “We know! Good luck”
  162. >He takes one more steps and stops once again
  163. >”Yes, I’ll go…”
  164. “We know, we know”
  165. >He takes one more steps before stopping again
  166. >”Yes, I’ll go…”
  167. “BUT DO IT NOW!”, Glimmer and you yell at him
  168. >”They take advantage of my nobility”
  169.  
  170. >The Chapulín enters the castle
  171. >Princess Celestia is in the main room, only accompanied by a few guards, in total silence, like if she’s waiting for someone or something
  172. >”Hello? Ms. Celestia?”, the hero asks quietly
  173. >Celestia looks at him in silence for a few seconds before saying anything
  174. >”You’re finally here, Chapulín Colorado”
  175. >”Do you know me?... I mean! Of course you know, the Chapulín Colorado is known in the entire universe”
  176. >”Of course, you’re the world’s greatest hero after all. And you are also about to become the entrée of feast of love my changelings and I are having today”
  177. >Just after having said that, Celestia turns into Chrysalis and the guards turn into changelings who quickly trap the hero with their dirty hooves
  178. >The Chapulín shrugs and looks to an imaginary camera
  179. >”I suspected it from the beginning”
  180. >Chrysalis lets out a burst of laughter
  181.  
  182. >Starlight Glimmer and you examine the Castle of Friendship
  183. >She can’t help but panic when realizing “Celestia” and the Chapulín have vanished
  184. >”See?! I was right! She kidnapped the Chapulín! How could I be so stupid? I should have faced her by myself!”
  185. “Please Glimmer, calm down! Panicking won’t help us!”
  186. >”I need to find my friend Trixie, she’ll know what to do”
  187. “No, don’t worry, I’ll go find her myself”
  188. >”Are you sure?!”
  189. “Yes, but please try to calm down and tell me how she looks like. Like, I don’t know… mane?”
  190. >”Yes”
  191. “Yes, what?”
  192. >”She does have a mane”
  193. “Of course she has a mane, but what colour?”
  194. >”Eh, light blue and white”
  195. “Eyes?”
  196. >”Two!”
  197. “You don’t say. Does she also have four hooves?”
  198. >Another pony shows up from behind
  199. >”Was anyone looking for Trixie? I heard you were saying about a pony with two eyes and four hooves”
  200. >”Thanks Celestia you’re here!”
  201. >Glimmer hugs Trixie, who looks quite confused
  202. >”W-What happened?”
  203. “It seems Chrysalis came back and kidnapped the Mane 6, Celestia, Luna, Spike and a Mexican superhero”
  204. >”What are you? A talking ape?”, says Trixie while Starlight Glimmer sobs
  205. >You can’t help but give her the bad eye
  206.  
  207. >At the dark cavern, a couple of changelings bring an unconscious Chapulín Colorado and leave him on the floor
  208. >Chrysalis examines it for a few seconds while the kidnapped ponies try to understand what they’re seeing with their eyes
  209. >”Okay, wake him up”, orders the Queen
  210. >One of the changelings grabs a bucket of water with its mouth and empties it on the hero’s face
  211. >He immediately awakes, completely scared and confused, and lets out a shout
  212. >”What are you doing?! Don’t you have eyes?!”, he yells at the monster
  213. >”Of course I have eyes!”
  214. >”Then why did you throw water on me?!”
  215. >”But I didn’t throw it with my eyes!”
  216. >”Silence!”, shouts Chrysalis
  217. >The hero stands up and tries to take the dirt off his suit
  218. >He can’t help but looking at the ponies trapped inside the pods
  219. >”Nice decoration. In Mexico we use festoons”
  220. >Chrysalis rolls her eyes

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